02x07 - Four Guidos and a Baby

[bunniefuu]

[JWoww] I have an announcement.

I'm gonna go home.

Not cool. Why the [bleep] are you mad at me?

We're obviously not as close as we thought.

See you guys back in Jersey.

Would Laurens be okay

with you staying in Vegas for an extra day?

I don't see why not.

I think we can get Vinny to come back. Yes!

We'll do, like, a boys' weekend. Get the girls out of here.

You're good. All right.

We got the-- we got the next cab coming.

Safe trip. Love you. Bye!

All right, girls, see you later.

Oh, yeah! Boys' weekend, yeah!

♪♪

Yeah, buddy!

Party's here!

The Situation is under construction.

This might not have been the best idea.

We're so classy now!

On the seventh day, it'll be lit.

Get the frick out of here, you crazy!

♪♪

♪ I can't get enough, I can't get enough... ♪

Sun's out, g*ns out.

[Mike] Thick is the new thin right now.

Let me see how thick I'm looking today.

[Vinny] Damn, girl, you thick.

I might have to change my shirt

to a little looser-fitting shirt.

[all laughing]

[Mike] Listen, we all love food.

You're lying to me if you're saying

that you don't love food, okay?

Go to the buffet with this shirt on.

[laughing] You should wear that.

What does it say?

"Leave Nothing Behind." There you go.

[Pauly] So it's officially boys' weekend.

I've got all the boys. RSVP.

We let Ronnie know that we're there for him.

He's going through a lot of heavy [bleep].

It's time to rally right now to get his mind off

of everything that he's been going through,

and do Vegas right.

Four guidos and a baby! Roll out!

Four guidos and a baby! Yeah, buddy!

♪ Step up out the crib, super fresh from head to toe ♪

♪ Super stacks up in my pocket and I'm 'bout to get... ♪

This is us right here.

♪ What you do? You already know... ♪

Yes, yes, bring it on. Bring the saltiness on.

You guys ready to order? [Mike] Yup.

Can I get a shrimp c*ck as an appetizers?

[woman]Sure.

Why are you looking at me?

You're the accountability coach.

That you don't-- That you don't listen to.

Yo, let's talk plan of attack for today.

What are you guys trying to do? Go hit the baby store.

Yeah.Yeah. Pick up diapers,

wipes, formula, bottles...

Now that Ron is separating from Jen,

he's gonna have to set up his own new spot

in his house with all new baby stuff.

...clothes, pajamas, car seat,

blankets, swaddles, socks.

A lot of [bleep] to grab. We got you.

[Vinny] So today we are having a "Four Guidos and a Baby" day.

We want to go to Ron's house and set it up

for when he does get the baby back

and kind of, like, put a reset on his life.

Speaking of baby's, Mike... [Pauly D] Ooh...

When are you due?

[all laughing]

It takes a real man to rock a dad bod.

If Donald Trump can be president,

that means any reality star could be president.

So, which one of us would be president?

Pauly would win the popular vote.

Hey!

[Pauly D] I think I would be the best president.

The worst president, I would have to say, would be Ronnie.

Ronnie would probably get a [bleep] while...

[laughing]

Ronnie would be in a scandal. Bill Clinton.

In a scandal.

Mike would get impeached. [chuckling]

Mike's like, "I would change the, uh, tax laws."

Tax laws. [laughing]

I would also pardon myself.

[all laughing]

Amazing. [Pauly D] Fact!

I wonder what the girls are doing right now?

Think Jenni and Nicole are fighting right now?

Wait, so I-I missed that. Did they have a legit fight?

Yeah. Well, Jenni left, like-- [Ronnie] [bleep].

It was, like, :, and then Jenni's like,

"Yeah, guys, so, uh, I just wanna let you know, um,

I have to go home tomorrow."

Nicole wasn't too happy.

And she was like, "Okay, JWoww."

♪♪

♪ This is an emergency ♪

♪ Come on and rescue me... ♪

Vegas just... it caught me off guard with something.

I'm gonna go home.

Not cool.

♪ Baby, baby... ♪

Why the [bleep] are you mad at me?

I don't wanna be here without you.

♪ Save me, save me... ♪

[Snooki] So I'm going to Jenni's today because she's my best friend.

We haven't talked in, like, a couple days.

I just-- you know, I wanna fix it with Jenni.

♪ Sound the alarm... ♪

[JWoww] So Nicole texted me earlier today.

[doorbell rings]

Hello?

[JWoww] And I'm just--

I'm a little unprepared.

I haven't heard from her since Vegas.

I brought some alcohol.

[JWoww] This is the longest

that Nicole and I have gone without speaking.

Well, thank you.

I'm nervous to have this conversation,

but I'd rather get it over with now and clear the air.

I wish you didn't leave me. [sighing]

I haven't talked to you in, like, a couple days.

It's weird. I know.

We never not talk, so that's why I came.

I was just so angry and hurt and, like, bitter

going into Vegas, and the whole Angelina thing

and her being invited and then, like, a video

and, you know, it was just all this drama.

But I feel like drama that you could've saved,

because if you were mad at the video

and you just saw it, if it were me,

'cause I'm different and I'm emotional,

if I saw it and you were in it,

I would call you right away and be like, "What the [bleep]?

Everyone was in the video but me."

I wanted to. I wanted to.

You didn't come to me for that.

It's just, like, I feel like best friends

need to always tell each other [bleep].

I feel like if you told me before,

I would be prepared to be, like, all right, she's leaving.

Cry in the shower, get it out and, like...

You not telling me and, like, throwing that in my face... lost it.

I didn't think I threw it in your face.

I was just trying to be like, "Hey, guys, listen, I have to go."

As your best friend, yeah.

How's it feel?

What?To have a new best friend.

Oh, my God, you're so in-- get over it!

Do you got the BABYBJÖRN? Yup.

[Pauly] Ronnie's really going through it with his baby mama Jen,

and we're actually going back to the warzone.

Oh, [bleep]!

That's a [bleep] TV she broke.

She's crazy.

Oh, yeah! Boys night! Yeah!

♪♪

[Mike] Oh, my God. Right now it is madness.

[Ronnie]Wow!

I haven't seen Mike look this nervous since he was in court.

[chuckling]

♪♪

[Pauly] Next stop: baby store.

[Mike] Oh, yo, Ronnie, pull your seat up a little bit.

Big Daddy needs his leg rooms.

[laughing]

[Mike] Operation: Four Guidos and a Baby.

[Ronnie] With everything being so crazy with Jen and the baby,

I think that me and Jen need to work on ourselves separately.

I'm just in the mind state of, like,

not really thinking about me and Jen.

You know, I'm just thinking about the baby.

[Mike] Let's go, buttercup.

Jen, you know, just moved into the other house

and she has all of the baby's stuff.

I want Ariana to have everything she needs.

You know, the basics.

You need one of them BABYBJÖRNS.

[Vinny] We're starting from scratch.

So we have...

We're new dads.

Yo, you should get this piggybank right here.

My-My daughter has this one, too.

So, four guidos in a baby store.

Ronnie kind of knows 'cause he's had the baby for a couple months.

Pauly has a baby, so he's kind of been through this a little bit.

This one already has rims on it.

Me and Mike, we have no [bleep] idea what any of this [bleep] is.

Um...

What are you gonna do with that?

Come on, put it in.

[Mike] That's how you got in this mess in the first place.

Yo, get this. Yeah, right.

You know what I'm saying? [laughing]

This is a real special moment for us and Ron

because we are helping him do the right thing

and let him know that he has a support system here

for this little precious baby.

Yo, you need this BABYBJÖRN right here.

[laughing]

You need that for sure. Cart's full.

[all laughing]

Mike. "Ronpage."

I will not like this. Neither will my kid.

What do we need, like, bottles and [bleep]?

Yeah. You need bottles.

I had mad bottles last night at Drai's.

Not bottle girl-- oh, I can't with you.

I can't. [Mike] God, this guy.

[Mike] It's all he can think about is bottle waitresses.

Do you have anything for if the dad cries more than the baby?

[chuckling]

No. All right.

Oh, it's about that time for Big Daddy Sitch.

"Heatable, huggable avocado." Oh, my God.

I want this for myself. This is Keto.

Yo, the baby on here looks just like me.

[Vinny laughing]

[Pauly D] My face belongs everywhere.

I feel like I'm a cartoon anyway,

so my cartoon head should be everywhere.

And nobody even knows they're there.

What a good-looking baby.

[laughing]

[Pauly D] I don't know what happened over here.

It looked just like me. That is a handsome baby.

No, you gotta take it off. Oh, that's all right--

How are we supposed to sell that?

It'll come right off.

Thank you. You're welcome.

[chuckling]

How's it feel to have a new best friend?

Oh, my God, you're so-- get over it!

[Snooki] Let's be adults about this.

She's my JWoww, my big sister,

but she's being overdramatic about Angelina,

and I just think she needs to calm the [bleep] down.

Here's my thing. It's, like, I don't like her.

At one point, I actually considered just leaving.

Like, I was, like, I'm just gonna leave

in the middle of the night and they're not gonna--

Oh, my God.

I literally need you.

I need you, like, every step of the way.

I was so upset. I know, but I didn't wanna,

like, put my [bleep] on your [bleep].

I didn't wanna be like-- I don't care. You're my best friend.

That's what I'm saying! You! You're my best friend!

We should be blood sisters. Like, what the [bleep]?

It's just, like, I feel like best friends

need to always tell each other [bleep].

Never again.

No.

I'm sorry.

It all planned out so perfectly in my head.

It all seemed-- Well, your head sucks.

[JWoww] Honestly, like, we hate confrontation.

We have no idea how to talk to girlfriends.

So, hands down, I will never not tell Nicole anything

ever again because, "A," I never wanna see

my best friend cry, and... every other reason.

Like, [bleep] got so much more dramatic than it needed to be.

Whatever. Let's move on.

Just, if you ever do leave me, tell me.

I will be fully transparent from here on out.

Be transparent.

Whether you like it or not.Thanks.

Okay.

Good friends fight,

but that b*tch is going into an old person home with me,

and I don't want that [bleep] to change

in any other direction and her end up

at the old people's home with someone else.

I'm glad I came.

Me too. I feel better.

So it's all about, you know, namaste,

hug that [bleep] out and move on.

Are we best friends still?

Unless Angelina's taken the spot.

Ugh! I'm over it!

Are you gonna do lunch with her?

Yeah.

I love you. Love you.

What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas.

♪♪

I bet you never thought we'd be doing this.

Right? Baby shopping in Vegas.

Baby shopping in Vegas.

[Pauly] Ronnie's really going through it with his baby mama Jen

and we're actually going back to the w*r zone...

[Jen] I don't wanna hear your whole bull[bleep] story.

You're a loser and you're a piece of [bleep].

[Pauly] ...where she destroyed the TVs and this is where

all the fights happened on social media.

How does it work legally with the house?

We're both on the loan.

So then she moved into the new one.

Into the new one, yup.

[Vinny] House wars.

[all laughing]

Do you got the BABYBJÖRN?

Yup, I got it.

[horn honking]

[Mike] I'm very proud of Ron.

He is taking steps to address some

of the life situations that he's facing.

Because, you know, he's really going through it.

You know, his life is...

is, unfortunately, similar to a dumpster fire.

[Pauly D] Holy [bleep]!

[Vinny] Oh, [bleep]!

How exactly did that go down?

She went on a rampage. Yeah. [Pauly D] Oh, [bleep].

Were you here? No.

[bleep], I ain't get a warranty for that.

Hey, I'll bring you guys upstairs.

I'll show you-- give you a visual of--

Let's do it. Oh, we're gonna do a reenactment?

[laughing] [Mike] [bleep]!

Let's go!

[laughter]

[Vinny] Wait. Take the hat off.

And mess up the hair a bit. Mess up the hair.

Damn, bro. They got, like, the--

This is the famous staircase. Yeah.

[Pauly D] So on this staircase was...

Jen Instagram Live-ing Ronnie's fight with her,

and his hair's not done, he's all disheveled.

The infamous "Ronpage" stairs.

I must've watched it million times.

It's like a museum of bad decisions.

[all laughing]

Ooh, I recognize these stairs.

I actually don't get star-struck,

but Ronnie's stairs?

You know what I'm saying?

Holy [bleep].

Oh, [bleep]!

That's a [bleep] TV she broke.

Why did she go right for the TV?

She did [bleep] with a golf club.

Whoa. She's crazy.

You guys really got into it, huh?

Yeah, just, like, back and forth, back and forth.

[Vinny] Damn. What a waste.

[Mike] Listen, the struggle is real right now for Ronnie.

He's had the baby, um, he's having a lot of baby-mama drama.

But you know what?

A smooth sea never made a skilled sailor.

Well, let's put that behind us and let's put these TVs outside

so you don't have to remember this [bleep] no more.

Yeah, please.

Let's get rid of this [bleep].

Come on, yo, Mike, make yourself useful.

[laughing]

Definitely having Pauly say get all the negative energy out

and, you know, take down all the stuff that's bad

and reminding you of the past, it's a step forward

of starting to let go of the past.

You're doing great. I'll guide you down.

Ron is, like, very appreciative that he has us right now.

Imagine if Ron was going through this and didn't have us.

We're there and we're doing the heavy lifting for him

so that he doesn't have to do it all himself.

This is a bachelor pad now. Four guidos and a baby.

Should you try on the BABYBJÖRN?

Let me try. Let me try it on.

Let's do the sizing on Mike.

[Vinny] You're gonna need a [bleep] extendo clip for that.

Extendo clip.

In this BJÖRN right now that I just put on...

Yo, give me that bag of chips. Put it in here, son.

[Ronnie laughing] [Pauly D] You look like .

...there's lots and lots of functions for that.

Chips, hands free.

Don't forget to do your stretches.

[all laughing]

[coughing] I almost choked.

I almost choked. [coughing]

Yo, Mike did-- Mike did too much.

Too much exercise. [Ronnie laughing]

I could sit around and be miserable and mopey,

but it's like, what does that solve?

You know, all that's doing is breaking me down more

and k*lling me inside when I'm supposed to becoming

a better person and a better father for my daughter.

So, this is definitely a step forward

to be most repaired as possible, you know, when I do get Ariana

and she starts spending time with me,

it's like I want her to have everything that she needs.

♪ This whole wide world... ♪

She's got space in the closet now.

I got the piggybank.

♪ I was stuck down in a hole ♪

♪ And I feel I was about to lose control... ♪

[Ronnie] The guys staying back and helping me with the house,

it's a good feeling instead of having to do it by myself.

Damn, we in pretty good shape over here.

Operation: Build a Baby Room. Complete.

Four guidos and a baby. Time to eat.

[Mike] Now you're speaking my languages.

It's about time to wrap up at Ronnie's, and, uh, you know,

walking into this house it became real,

as a friend, you know what I mean?

Seeing, like, all the bad memories that happened here.

Like, we are friends. We've known each other ten years.

So, before we bounce, we want to enjoy this moment

because, like, we wanna help him.

That's what family is for.

Nine years ago, we met each other for the first time.

Now we're in your house in Vegas... Nine years later.

...setting up your baby room. [Pauly] Yeah, it's crazy.

Vinny doesn't live with his mom no more. Since yesterday.

[all laughing]

[Ronnie] The house right now is definitely, slowly,

starting to feel more welcoming.

You know, there's food in the fridge,

Ariana has everything she needs upstairs,

and you know what, I got my boys here, so it feels good.

Now that you got your house back,

you're all situated,

when are we getting the highlights back?

That's what started all this.

[all laughing]

My man. Good to meet you, man.

My pleasure and my privilege.

This is definitely the first time

I've gone anywhere near a wedding chapel in Las Vegas.

You know, you walk in there and you just smell regret.

[chuckling]

You look gorgeous.

♪♪

Do I need to shave?

You always look the same to me.

[Ronnie] Boys' night out. Gentlemen's dinner.

Sorry the girls had to go home early.

Whoops!

[Vinny] Oh, [bleep].

[Pauly] Hey, yellow.

What up, Curious George?

Cab is here!

[all laughing]

I feel like this shirt makes me a little slimmer.

Mm-hmm.

Got that slim-thick fit.

[chuckling]

♪♪

Thank you.

[Mike] Vegas definitely chewed us up and spit us out.

But then again, Big Daddy Sitch

chewed up Vegas and spit Vegas out.

Why, you be going to buffets at home, Mike?

Uh, Laurens doesn't like the buffets,

but I-- you know, I do-- I do like buffets, yeah.

Did your vacation live up to its expectations?

Uh, it was one of my favorite moments, is the buffet.

I came, I saw, and we ate.

This trip was the shortest trip,

but it had the biggest impact, like, on everybody.

Yeah, no, this vacation was [bleep] up.

[all laughing] Were you expecting any of this?

Straight up. Like, no.

What were you expecting, like, when you came in...

Yeah. ...and you were being all, like, calm and [bleep]?

Remain calm. That's it. That's it.

You as the Puerto Rican Jesus.

Wait, wait, what?

What you wanna do, bro?

What do you wanna do? I'll move 'em off!

Well, you spiraled a little bit.

Selective memory is definitely

a dangerous game to play with yourself.

[Mike] I'll tell you what.

I got a little star-struck when I went to Ronnie's house.

[Pauly] Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know what I'm saying?

The famous stairs.

You know, Mike would've never walked up the stairs

unless it was my house. You know that.

Hey! Hey!

Never, never walked up the stairs.

Never.

[glass clinking]

[Pauly]Well...

Me and Pauly got a little surprise in store for you guys tonight.

What's happening here?

What is it?

Vinny and I are taking our relationship to the next level.

No, really? Wow. What?

So I'm taking the proper steps

and having a "brommitment" ceremony.

"Brommitments"? He promotes-- he proposed today.

Do you... Oh, my God! Oh, my!

...Vincent Guadagniner... Oh, my God!

...take my hand...

Oh, my God! ...in holy "bromatrimony"?

Yes, I do! I do! Hey!

I do! I do! Brommitments! It's time! Yay!

We tried to go with other chicks and [bleep],

but, ultimately, all we have is each other.

That's deep.

In Miami, you guys were trying to find me a girl

when she was right in front of me the whole time.

Wow.

All in favor of this brommitment, say, "Aye."

Aye.

If anyone's gonna get married here in Vegas,

it only makes sense that it's Pauly and Vinny.

He said yes!

He said yes!

He said yes! [Mike] Yeah!

[cheers and applause]

He said yes!

He said yes! He said yes!

[Pauly D] He said yes!

[echoing] He said yes! He said yes!

♪♪

[Vinny] Where we going on our honeymoon?

Caesars.

[Mike] Oh, [bleep]. Wow.

[Pauly D] We really doing this, my dude.

Oh, Mike, are you the flower girl?

Why would I be the flower girl?

'Cause you're already dressed like a flower girl.

You're already dressed like it. I would put my niece in that.

Okay, fine. Fine.

Let's do this. Let's do this.

What is happening here?

Hi, I would like to get married, please.

Wonderful. And when were you hoping to do that?

Um, right now. Right now.

Right now? All right. Yeah.

Do you do brommitment?

Um... do you guys wanna hear a little bit about our packages?

Hell yeah. One of the reasons why I'm locking him down

is 'cause of his package, you feel me?

Then you guys might be interested in our Endless Love package.

What is that? Ohh...

It's a beautiful package.

It comes with a six-rose bouquet,

two flower baskets for your flower girl.

[men] Ohh!

It also comes with a -inch cake.

Ooh... Oh, all right. That's nice.

Now you're speaking my languages. Endless Love.

I'm a little jealous right now that Pauly and Vinny

get to seal the deal before Big Daddy Sitch.

Our cake? There's the cake.

Oh, nice. I'll hold that.

[Ronnie laughing]

[Pauly] Do you have, like, something I could wear maybe?

Mm-hmm. We have blazers, yeah. Like a blazer or something?

[Vinny] Ooh, a blazer's nice. Here you go.

Thank you so much. This is just my size.

If you guys just wanna follow me?

[Ronnie] I never thought that boys' weekend would end up

with two of my boys getting married.

Every trip just gets weirder and weirder.

[Pauly] Make sure he doesn't get cold feet, Mike.

And don't eat the cake.

Wow, you look gorgeous.

I look like a-- I look like a beekeeper.

You guys are so beautiful together.

It's crazy. I know.

It's perfect. He's white, you're tan. I know.

Peace be with you. All right. And also with you.

Don't eat the cake.

♪♪

Whew!

My man. Good to meet you, man.

My pleasure and my privilege.

This is definitely the first time

I've gone anywhere near a wedding chapel in Las Vegas.

You know, you walk in there and you just smell regret.

[chuckling]

♪♪

I don't think you're supposed to throw 'em on your head, dog.

Supposed to throw the flowers, not the macaroni. What do you mean?

Supposed to throw the flowers on the floor.

You are the worst ring girl ever.

Ladies and gentlemen,

I'm gonna ask everyone to please rise.

♪♪

You look gorgeous.

Thank you. How you doing, sir?

How are you, Vinny?

I never pictured my bride to have a beard, but here we go.

Dearly beloved, we are here in Las Vegas

to unite Pauly D and Vinny with a commitment

that could only be shared by two guys.

Your brommitment.

This is a very, very big step, man,

because you are pledging

each other's loyalty, friendship...

[both snickering]

...and true love as brothers for one another.

[Pauly] Right now, an entire lifetime with Vinny

that I've spent is all flashing through my mind.

How we met, what we've done together,

everything from Jersey to Miami to Italy.

We've gone through so much together.

And being able to joke around with him about taking it to the next level?

It's official. That's the bond.

That's the brommitment right there.

Vinny... ever since the moment

you walked into that shore house,

the second we worked together at the T-shirt shop...

before you had a beard

and I met your family in Staten Island

and I realized that Staten Islandis an actual island...

I knew that it, one, was gonna be you.

Pauly... we don't look like we belong together.

You're orange, I'm pale.

You have muscles and I don't.

But at the end of the day, you're the yin to my yang.

I want to do T-shirt time together

for the rest of our life.

Mike, stop eating the cake!

[laughing] I'm sorry.

[bleep] up my whole brommitment.

Pauly D, would you please present Vinny's ring?

Place it on his left ring finger.

[Vinny] Honestly, don't tell him I said this, but it's, like,

a gold band and, like, the guy is covered in diamonds.

Like, you could've gave me a little bit of ice.

Come on, bro.

By the power vested in my shaky left leg...

I pronounce both of you... brother and brother.

You may kiss or hug your brother.

The option is yours. Take it home, son.

I love this dude! [Ronnie] Yay!

[all cheering]

We did it! I love this dude!

[Pauly D] Oh, [bleep].

Does that mean I'm related to Uncle Nino now?

[all cheering] Walk your beautiful bride down the aisle, brother!

Oh, I forgot the cake.

Forgot the cake.

[all cheering]

This is the best day of my life.

Yeah, buddy! Oh, yeah!

Brommitments! Yeah!

♪ You're the reason that my heart beats, yeah ♪

♪ I need a little more ♪♪

[Pauly D] When do we consummate?

♪ Have you ever met a girl that makes you crazy? ♪

♪ Doing next to nothing, all I wanna be is lazy... ♪

[Snooki] I hate parallel parking.

[screaming]

♪ Her mother made mistakes in the dark ♪

♪ Can you blame me... ♪

That was hard.

I definitely think Jenni and Angelina need to sit down

and just figure out what the hell is going on

and, you know, just move on.

I need to help Angelina overall. She needs a makeover.

I'm simply trying to give a helping hand, being a friend,

so I'm gonna take her shopping and make her look classy.

Hey. What's up? Hey!

I mean, I'm not, like, Martha Stewart,

but if I wanna be classy, I put on a classy dress, and I'm classy.

You changed your hair. You look like a stripper now.

[laughing]

Sometimes she looks at me and it's, like,

going one ear out the other, but I'm like, "Concentrate.

You need to take my advice and listen to me."

What about this? Here, she'll try that one.

Small.

You're gonna see how beautiful you look when you dress like that.

I'm picking out some outfits for Angelina that I think

she'll look gorgeous in, and outfits that I would wear,

and I think her dressing that way will actually put

her mood, hopefully, in a classier way.

That's what happens to me.

So, Angelina, remember how I invited you to Vegas

so you could, like, fix your [bleep] with Jenni?

[Angelina] Yes. You didn't do that, I feel.

[Angelina] You are correct. So you need to fix that.

You just have to stop being aggressive with her.

[Snooki] Jenni is my best friend. Like, that's my girl,

and I'll ride-and-die for her, so Angelina needs to fix it.

And I think you should get a cute outfit

and you can go to lunch with Jenni.

[Angelina] Um, when? I don't know.

You gotta figure that out. You need to hit her up.

So cute!

You like this one?

Does it tie?

Uh, yeah. Make it tighter.

And then going to eat with Jenni?

I will definitely go with her.

I feel like we should all just be friends.

You just need to fix your [bleep] with Jenni

and everything will be fine. And the roomies.

I'm starting to get somewhere with people in the house.

I really do-- No, you definitely are, but...

Yeah. ...I'm giving you advice--

the outsider looking in.

You're not coming off good, especially with Jenni.

Like, you just need to-- I'm-- I don't wanna be

in the middle of it anymore.

So I want you guys to fix your [bleep]...

Okay. ...so then we can all be fine.

You're gonna go meet her for lunch. That's why I want to meet her for lunch.

Exactly. Wear this, be classy.

This one or the other one? Don't drink.

[Angelina] I'm definitely grateful that Nicole is trying

to welcome me back into the sisterhood.

I think it's amazing. Like, I am so appreciative of-of Nicole.

Thank you so much. Thank you.

Bye. [woman] Bye, you guys.

I know you can do this, Angeliner.

You got this. "Angeliner."

And don't drink,

because when you drink, you become a dirt.

♪♪

Wake up, Keto guido! Wake up, Keto guido!

He's been waking me up for ten years,

but he's never been my brommitment husband before,

so it feels different.

You're in a "brommitment" now.

Yo, Ron, you wanna grab brunch when you get out of there?

[Ronnie]Yeah. All right, cool. Cool, good looks.

[Mike] Me and Ron, we're gonna leave these two lovebirds

to have a little one-on-one.

We're going to the buffet.

♪♪

Is that Spice Market Buffet? Yes.

This is not my first time... This is not your first rodeo.

...at the buffets.

Oh, good to see you. We're excited to see you.

Yes! Hi, you guys. I heard he's a frequent visitor, he told me.

Yes, he is. I'm Ronnie. Nice to meet you.

Yeah, I know. I believe it. Hi, Mike! Hi.

I mean, listen, at the end of the day,

the only temptation that I give in to is my foods.

I usually go two at once.

They have pork over there, string beans, mashed potatoes.

We have some kielbasa.

How long have you worked here?

Mike is definitely the mayor of the buffet.

A little pasta just to taste it. You know what I mean?

Oh, the-the meats is real good.

All right, I'm gonna try the dark meat.

It's like... like seeing an artist at work.

They have pretzel breads here that are just out of this world.

Out of this world? Yeah.

Like, actually watching him paint the picture,

I get to watch Mike at the buffet.

Oh, these are where the cupcakes came from.

Look at this. Yes.

Wow. Sugar cookies.

Time to put some work in.

I'm excited to get back to Jersey, though.

See my fiancée, you know, get my affairs in order.

You know what I mean?

And, uh, that's all you can do.

You know? Yup.

You straightening your stuff out? Taking the steps.

How are you and the baby moms?

Talking? Not at all? Not really. No.

It's like it's out of my hands and...

leave it up to the lawyers.

Yeah? Yeah.

It took you awhile to even get to this step that you're at now.

Yeah, I know.

You know what, I'm-I'm very proud and happy

that Ronnie is growing through this situation right now.

He's becoming better, not bitter.

Have you tried this fried rice?

This fried rice is good.

I hope you enjoy your last supper

before you get back to Laurens and--

Yeah, before I have to get back on the diet and--

Is she gonna recognize you? She might be like--

She might be like-- No.

She knows that, like, I, you know,

I hold my weight well.

I'm just a little thick. You know what I'm saying?

Damn, boy, you thick.

♪♪

[Vinny sighing]

It's our first breakfast as a couple.

What are we gonna do now that we're not together, and you're travelling?

You're not gonna, like, have sex with anyone, are you?

Like, after your DJ gigs,

you're just gonna finish up, go to sleep?

Yes.

[Vinny] I'm not going on tour with Pauly,

but we have such a secure bond that we're not jealous, you know what I mean?

Especially the fact that we're able to smash chicks.

Are you gonna still live with your mother?

I don't live with her no more.

You don't live with your mother no more!

As of yesterday.

Let's see how this works. Oh, ooh, ooh...

Went right to the dessert.

I love rainbow sprinkles.

You went right to dessert or you gonna go back?

Oh, wow. I'm going back.

Are you? Yeah.

Challenge accepted. Wow. I'm going back.

This is just a little pit stop in the road for me.

You had no idea I was about to pull over

just for the ice cream and sprinkles.

To jump right back into Mexican food.

To jump. There's an art to buffeting.

You are like the Picasso of buffets.

Yes. Good for you.

Mm-hmm.

Come on, girls.

[Vinny] I used to dream about this night back when I was a little guido.

[Pauly] Yo, this is the best day of my life!

What just happened just now?

Laurens, I see nothing! Save me!

♪♪

[phone line trilling]

[JWoww on phone] Hey, girl.

Guess what. [JWoww] What?

I just left shopping with Angeliners.

Oh, God!

How do you hang out with that?

[Snooki] I'm trying to fix her.

She's like my project.

[JWoww] Okay. Well, Godspeed.

Love your projects.

[Snooki] Well, it's a really good project.

I think you should go to lunch with her

because she really wants to talk to you.

I am not trying to be in Captain Save-a-Thot.

[Snooki] Oh, my God.Dot org.

I definitely think there's hope with Angelina and Jenni,

and I feel like it's time for you guys

to actually squash this once and for all.

Well, she wants to talk to you. Talk to her.

I'm already exhausted thinking about this.

[JWoww groaning]

Why don't you go see some children somewhere instead?

Oh, my God, I can't.

[JWoww] Nicole's harping on the Angelina sit-down.

Fine. Like, I don't understand why it's such a big deal,

but if it's a big deal to you, Nicole, I will sit down,

I'll have lunch with her, and we will go from there.

Fine, I'll have a sit-down with her if you wanna set it up.

I already set it up. I'm just asking you now.

What do you mean, you already set it up?

Where are we having this sit-down?

Oh, no, she's gonna call you. I said, "You should call Jenni

and see if she'll go to lunch with you

so you can squash your [bleep]."

And really she has no choice, because if she said no,

I would just keep asking her and asking her to the point

where she's like, "Fine, I'll [bleep] sit down with her."

So, I'm glad I didn't have to do that.

Okay, you have a wonderful day.

[Snooki] I love you so much. I love you so much.

I'm gonna go jump off the Brooklyn Bridge now.

Bye now. Bye-bye. Dramatic.

♪ Shake, shake, shake, shake the time for you ♪

♪ Wake me up like a fine cup of coffee... ♪

It's T-shirt time!

[Vinny] Yo, what did we tell you about wearing stripes, bro?

This guy's getting ready for that sentencing, man.

[laughter]

Damn, boy, you thick!

Maybe I should get in the back.

Looking a little large and in charge right now.

I wanna-- I can't find-- Yo.

[laughter]

Yo, Mike's taking up the whole screen!

I can't find a spot! Squeeze in this way.

Yo, what the [bleep]-- what the [bleep] happened here?

Damn, boy is thick right there. Yo.

Get the wide-angle lens. Yo, check this out.

This is what you guys never seen before.

All the boys in Vegas!

You feel me? It's boys' night.RSVP!

Cabs are here! Cabs are here! Cabs are here!

Cabs are here! Elevator's here!

Oh, yeah! Boys' night! Yeah!

I didn't think I'd say this,

but I'm actually getting a little hungrys right now.

[all laughing]

Hell yeah. Roll up.

The thickness is out tonight. The thickness.

[Pauly D] So it's our last day in Las Vegas.

Now it is time to consummate the thing,

and I wanna go out with a bang, and Drai's Beachclub

is our favorite, so we're gonna hit up that.

Yeah, buddy!

♪♪

Where are the Canadians?

So, tonight, I have a plan. I wanna make "Thotchella."

I wanna bring every single girl in the club to our cabana.

Chrissy. Nice to meet you.

Where are you guys from?

Yes! Wow!

You don't want none of that. I know, no.

I haven't seen Mike look this nervous since he was in court.

Just keep bringing 'em in for, like, our last night.

[Ronnie] "Thotchella"!

[Mike] Oh, my God, right now it is madness.

I feel like I'm in "The Matrix" right now,

dodging all the thotties.

Oh, ooh, Big Daddy Sitch.

Holy [bleep]. The booth is tight.

I feel like I'm at one of Pauly's gigs.

This whole cabana right now is DTF.

I'm Kayla. Vinny. Nice to meet you.

Me and Pauly are like domesticated cheetah

released in the wild of Las Vegas,

full of strippers and Canadian girls.

Where you from?

New Mexico?! New Mexico is in the building!

[Pauly D] We did a little bit of a world tour on this trip.

We even visited Canada a couple times.

Yo, Pauly, Canadians! Canadians?

Yeah, eh? To Canada, eh?

[Pauly D] The Canadians are always winners,

but these New Mexico girls, they're not even wearing clothes.

They're in bathing suits. Yeah, buddy!

[Vinny] Cheers, cheers, cheers.

[Pauly D] New Mexico!

[woman] Cheers, New Mexico.

So, would you guys come back with us, or no?

But how many, though? There's, like, seven-- ten of you.

They say it's the thought that counts,

but right now, I'm counting THOTS.

I got four, but there's only two of us.

[Vinny laughing] Yes!

[Pauly D] Guido math.

Pauly's like, "You're coming home,

you're coming home, you're coming home."

I'm like, "Oh, my God, I'm gonna have to deal with this

in the crib now."

Like, what the [bleep] is happening?

I'm gonna go with Mike. I'll let you guys live.

Oh, Ronnie.

[Ronnie] Yo, Mike, I got us the fun van, bro.

[Mike] Yes.

Can't stop shaking my a*s.

[laughter]

[Ronnie] Yo, it's the "dad bod" van, son.

[Mike] Hell yes.

Yo, it was "Thotchella" tonight.

[laughing]

[Pauly] We have a stripper pole in our shower.

Oh. Show me. I will.

Let's get out of here.

Come on, girls.

I used to dream about this night back when I was a little guido,

you know, just tucked in my covers.

Like, "I'm gonna have a Vegas night one night."

It was thinking about this.

Yeah, buddy. She came through dripping.

This is what Vegas is, honestly.

Cheers to good vibes. Salud. Good vibes.

Las Vegas!

Boys' night. Yeah, buddy!

Hey, viva Las Vegas!

We're gonna break in the shower right now.

My goal was to get a girl in the stripper shower.

It's been taking forever because we had so much drama.

So now there's no more drama and it is turn-up time.

Yo, this is the best day of my life in a shower.

[all cheering]

Yo!

Laurens is not gonna like this.

[Ronnie] Whoa, that's awesome!

[Pauly D] Planet Hollywood! Yeah!

♪♪

Yo, this is the best day of my life in a shower.

[all cheering]

What just happened just now?

Um, I got my lady at home, we just got engaged.

I'm very happy with my fiancées.

We're looking to put down some roots, have some kids.

Oh...

Okay? But I'm in Vegas right now with these animals.

They are on the stripper pole,

getting butt naked, asses everywhere.

[Ronnie] When you watch porn, it's not cheating, right?

[Mike] Laurens, I see nothing!

Save me!

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

Oh, no, I'm engaged. Engaged man. You're engaged?

This is literally the devil's playground.

What is happening in there? [bleep]!

It's here. [Ronnie] Whoa, that's awesome!

See what happens when the girls leave?

Not today, Satan.

[Ronnie laughing]

These girls are just twerking everywhere.

They're twerking on the couch,

twerking on Vinny, twerking on Pauly.

And me and Mike are like...

Let's go chill.

Bro, I have stood the test of all type of Satan tonight.

She's over there chilling. Got liquor--

[Mike] She's like, "I'm here for the refreshments."

I'm actually waiting for my burgers and fries right now.

[Ronnie] Are you really?

As long as I get one first, I don't even care.

They don't need any. They're... [woman] No, they're fine.

They're occupied.

Oh, my God! Fries! Yo, take what you want.

That's mine. Ooh, look at this.

Big Daddy Sitch.

If you want... to be a good friend,

take the burgers in there and be like, "Look what I got!"

You'll be, like, the king of the party.

Do you think they want this right now?

Th-They might. They might. I don't think they do.

Well, see what happens.

[laughing]

[Mike] I am currently The Designation. I'm in charge of safety.

And these girls have got to replenish their electrolytes

with some tomato, lettuce.

We have just applied the ketchups.

Um, are you guys hungry? Nay? Yes!

[woman ] We hungry, B!

[woman ] We hangry, baby!

I got food. Wake up. Shawty got food!

[Vinny] Not a good time to start giving girls food.

I'm like, "Bro, what are you doing?"

It's my birthday! It's my birthday!

Is it? Is it?Mm-hmm.

Oh, good for you.

Oh, where'd you come from? Oh, [bleep].

[Ronnie] It looks like three different shades of Skittles.

[all laughing]

Yeah, you do.

This is what boys' weekend is all about.

[Mike] Yo, [bleep] is getting weird. I'm out.

I'm gonna put some pajamas on.

This way to the party.

Do you wanna sit down? You're not what?

What? I'm not cheating. You're not what? You're not what?

Oh, damn! I'm not cheating. [laughing]

[Mike] What just happened just now?

[all laughing]

[Mike] I'm literally under the covers right now,

and I'm like, "Oh, my God, someone help me."

[Ronnie] I'm living my best life right now.

I'm sorry. I really am, though.

Like-- like, dude, like, they gotta go.

All right. Let's roll, let's roll.

Come on, come on, come on. We're rolling out.

[Ronnie] Wait, we're leaving? [Pauly]Yeah.

Cabs are here. Yo, [bleep].

ABQs dismissed.

This boys' weekend was epic.

Like, I had the time of my life here in Las Vegas.

The "brommitment" ceremony. We had "Thotchella."

And most importantly, Operation: Four Guidos and a Baby.

It was everything, and it meant the world to me.

Yo, let's, like, do this again tomorrow, though.

[laughing]

This is definitely one of the best ways you could end a Vegas trip.

The guys staying back to help me through a hard time,

you know, it means a lot to me.

You know, it shows that we are real brothers.

"Jersey Shore: Vegas Edition."

I love Vegas this time of year. [laughing]