Yeah, I think so. I've decided that I'm finally
gonna take a step back from Jen
and try to get my life back on track.
Hi, Vinny.
Vinny will not talk to this woman.
Yo, he really hasn't talked to Angelina
in like six months.
[Vinny] Deena? She should be here.
Like, what do we gotta do to get her here?
I think we should kidnap her.
We're going full-on "Mission: Impossible."
Operation: Kidnap Deener.
Kidnap Deener!
[Pauly] Red team, go.
[walkie-talkie beeping, doorbell rings]
What the-- [all screaming]
They're just so dramatic.
Like, I can't. Get in the [bleep] car.
And if you tell anybody about this, I'll [bleep] k*ll you.
They're so stupid.
♪ Here I come ♪
Yeah, buddy!
Party's here!
The Situation is under construction.
This might not have been the best idea.
We're so classy now.
On the seventh day, it'll be lit.
Get the frig out of here, you crazy!
♪ Here I come ♪
♪♪
♪ Feel my best with you ♪
[Jenni sniffs, groans]
♪ I must confess it's true... ♪
So first night in the house, a success.
I got a good night sleep, I love my little room.
The roommates are so cute giving me my own little space.
And I'm so happy they kidnapped me
because I would've hated to miss this.
[Vinny] Morning, Deener.
Morning. How are you?
I'm all right. Just waking up, you know,
starting my day. Yeah.
[Vinny] I love having Deena around.
We all are like this weird, little ingredient to the house
and when someone's missing, we all feel that.
So having Deena back is just like,
the puzzle is complete again.
Ugh! Sugar! [spitting]
[laughing]
Have you had fun this past weekend?
Yeah.
You looked miserable in the car.
Your... replacement has just been a nightmare.
She's extra. Like, she's very extra.
Oh, yeah. Did she really touch your p*nis?
Yo, get o-- Stop. What the--
Oh, my God. She just grabbed my [bleep].
She just grabbed my [bleep].
[women screaming]
You cheated!
She was just on top of me.
Like, she "honk-honked", you know what I mean?
Chris really thinks that she wants you.
Oh, yeah? He actually said when we were in AC,
he goes, if you were, like, on the outside in,
you would think you were the couple.
So annoying.
There's something wrong with that girl.
There it is.
Good morning. Sup, buddy?
[whistling]
Good morning, preggers. Good morning.
[Mike] I think Ronald has resurfaced.
Oh, my God, it's so pretty out.
[Nicole] So I have a surprise for you guys.
We're gonna have, like, a fun adult party.
[men overlapping shouting]
Oh, my God, I've been waiting for this!
I've been waiting for this moment! Dayum!
[Nicole] Not that, relax.
I got inflatables, a slip 'n slide,
hamster ba*ls, and we're just gonna bounce
in big bounce houses like we're seven.
[Jenni] Yes, finally!
I host these parties all the time for my kids,
but I can never enjoy them 'cause I'm the host.
I feel like this is gonna be the best kids day ever.
[Nicole] With Deena pregnant,
we're not going to the club.
We just have to do fun activities.
So I wanna throw an adult kids party,
get some fun blow-up toys and be like grown up kids.
♪ I just might sip -proof ♪
♪ Jump in my coupe and drive off the roof ♪
♪ Check it, here's the latest scoop ♪
♪ Sweet... they laced up their boots ♪
♪ Run and tell your troops ♪
Adult party!
That sounds, like, weird though.
Yeah, it sounds like a porno party.Yeah.
Sometimes in the tour bus, we have an adult-themed party.
Yeah, this is a different kinda party. This one's a little different.
We got pregnant chicks and [bleep].Yeah.
This a different kind of "porty."
[Mike] Oh, hell yeah. I'm all over that.
Hey! [laughter]
Hey!
Damn, this [bleep] is dope.
Whoo! I want this at my house.
[all cheering]
[Deena]Nice!
[Pauly D] Round one. Fight!
[all exclaiming]
Oh, Mike won! Mike won!
Mike won!
[Pauly shouting]
Yeah!
[Ronnie] Uh, it feels great to be a big kid for a day.
Right now, life is just normal and this is what I needed.
[all exclaiming]
You can just clear your mind and not think
about everything that's going on in your life.
[megaphone siren wailing]
[Deena laughing]
[Deena] Oh, my God! Is he all right?
[Jenni] This is awesome.
Now I can finally enjoy what my kids love so much...
It's so cold!
...but with adults and alcohol.
[Nicole] Oh, my God, that hamster ball.
[Deena] It's huge.
[Pauly D] Angelina, show us how it's done.
All right.
[all exclaiming]
[muffled] Oh, my God!
[Vinny] Angelina looks so happy
to be in her natural habitat riding this hamster wheel.
Like, it's literally how she gets around Staten Island.
[Deena] That's awesome. [Jenni] A little too good.
[Mike] I'll go in the other one.
[Pauly D] Yeah, let Michael go.
[Nicole] Mike'll go in the other one.
[Mike] If the Dirty Little Hamster can do it,
the Situation can do it.
[grunting]
[Nicole] He looks like a sperm in a uterus.
Wait, wait, wait. Oh, God, it's happening!
[bleep]!
He gonna fall. He gonna fall today.
Oh, [bleep]!
Oh, my God, is he all right in there?
[Mike grunting]
This is the most exercise he's had in a while.
[Deena] Are you okay?
[Ronnie laughing] He looks like he's about to die
in the hamster wheel. He's like...
[wheezing]
"I need a diet sodas." [wheezing]
You all right? [panting] It was hot.
Is it claustrophobic?
'Cause that looks like something...
Nah, it's a little hot, that's all.
[Deena] You looked like you were about to pass out in there.
[Ronnie laughing] He was.
Seemed to break a sweat a bit in there.
Are you all right? Huh?
[Deena] You got me nervous.
[Mike] All this hamster wheel's
getting me a bit hungrys right now.
What doesn't get you hungry?
[Nicole] I think we should do Burger King.
[Angelina] I feel like I'm gonna faint.
Oh!Oh, wow!
How do real hamsters live?
Burger King's here!
Oh, yeah! Burger King, yeah!
Who wants a nugget? You want a nugget?
I don't know if I want this or a Whopper.
[Jenni] Have both.
[Nicole] This looks amazing.
Yaas, queen!
This is the best kids party ever.
Yes, sir. Oh, [bleep].
Big Daddy Sitch was de-crowned.
Cheeseburgers.
Whopper with cheeses here. On-- I have onion rangs.
[Ronnie] You got the chicken fries?
Chicken fries here.
[Vinny] I am definitely cheating.
This is definitely gonna knock me out of ketosis.
Wow!
I can't believe Vinny's cheating.
Oh, my God, what a cheat day.
I honestly have not had a carb in, like, days.
I'm doing a follow-up cheeseburger
to wash down the Whopper. Oh, wow.
Whoa. Vinny really cheats.
It's about time that this keto Guido had some carbs.
Yeah, you gotta enjoy this while it lasts.
[Angelina] Mike, how are you feeling right now?
I'm living my best life right now.
I can't remember the last time I had BK, man.
[Jenni] Oh, my God, Mike.
Ron's only allowed to delete memories, not you.
All right. Cheat day has begun.
Cheers.Cheers.
Um, I think that this should be our little secret.
Yo, pass me that "diet soder."
Can I get Whoppers and a diet soda?
[all laughing]
Done. Oh, yeah, that [bleep] was good, bro.
All right, that's it. Let's go race.
I feel like you guys should joust.
I'll be honest with you, I think I wanna see Angelina
versus Vinny in the jousting.
[Pauly D] Ooh, that's a good one.
Yaas! What are the stakes? What are the stakes?
Staten Island title. Staten Island champ.
Staten Island champ, there can only be one.
[Deena and Ronnie chanting] Staten Island champ! Staten Island champ!
[Pauly D] The loser... Staten Island champ!
...has to go back to the island.
[Ronnie] Ohh! [Jenni] Wait, wait, wait.
I think it should just be kissing the other person's feet.
[Mike] All right. All right, I'm with it.
Ugh! Okay.
But that's worse for me. [Ronnie] Oh that's right, 'cause she hates your feet.
[Angelina] Going head-to-head with Vinny right now,
I'm a little scared, because you know what?
I don't wanna kiss his disgusting,
dirty, ugly talons. Who would wanna kiss those?
[Pauly D] He loves that [bleep]. He's so twisted, this kid.
Loser kisses the winner's feet.
Like you do to the Pope or some [bleep].
Can somebody pass the French fries?
[all] Oooh!
Piece of [bleep] like you going after pregnant girls.
Yeah, okay! You come party w--
What's up, my guy? You want something, my guy?
You don't want nothing, my guy!
We can't escape this frickin' guy.
Oh, you ain't done? So come at me,
you [bleep] stupid stripping b*tch!
[Pauly D] Where's she at? This guy's ready.
If I lose this challenge,
I have to kiss the Dirty Little Hamster's feet.
[groans] You better not lose, bro.
[Pauly D] Vinny does not wanna lose
because Angelina's feet are gross.
And at the same time, Angelina doesn't wanna lose
because Vinny's feet are gross.
I want her to kiss my feet so she knows
who the real king of Staten Island is.
[bleep] the offense, just worry about protecting yourself.
[Mike] It's not how hard you hit... [Vinny] Yeah.
...but how hard you can take the punch
and keep moving forward.
I don't need inspirational quotes, I need to know what to do.
Angelina doesn't shower, she doesn't wear underwear,
she walks around barefoot. I mean, the girl is gross.
So I am not losing this battle, okay?
I'm not kissing Angelina's feet.
To your places. Come on, Angeliners.
This right here shall put the beef to rest.
This particular battle
will end years, okay, of fighting.
Let him gas out. All right, all right.
He ate enough Burger King to feed a small village.
This kid is not gonna beat me. It's not gonna happen.
In this corner, reining in and stinking:
Angelina, the Staten Island Dump,
weighing at an unknown amount.
[girls cheering]
In this corner, weighing nothing,
the Keto Guido. [all laughing]
[Nicole] He's invisible.
[Pauly D] Any foot off loses.
All right, let's do this. [Nicole] Come on, girl, you got this.
Everybody good? Fight!
[Deena] He is one scared little b*tch.
Oh! I see the Keto Guido's techn-- oh!
She's the Staten Island Dump! Ooh, she's like a dirty little hamster.
The Keto Guido's got-- oh!
Oh! Oh! She got it! She held it!
[Mike] Damn, Angelina just threw that [bleep] at him.
Angelina's holding her own...
[all laughing, cheering]
...and I'm breaking a sweat screaming.
Mayweather!
[Nicole] Look at his face.
[Jenni] Angelina!
Whoa! Hold on, b*tch!
Bro, she's a girl, bro.
[all shouting]
Oh, damn. "It's just a game, Focker!"
Yo, relax! Get him! Get him.
Good, he's gonna [bleep] himself.
[all laughing]
[Deena]Hit him!
Oh, Keto catches it! Keto catches it!
This is the aggression that needed to be let out.
The Keto Guido's got-- oh!
Oh! Oh! Oh! She got it, she held it.
This is for the King or Queen of Staten Island.
[Deena] Ooh, he's getting tired.
[Pauly D] Look at the determination in Angelina.
She wants to win this.
She wants to be the Queen of Staten Island.
[Vinny] What an epic battle.
People are gonna tell this story for generations to come.
And more importantly, I'm going to make sure
that Angelina crowns me
the official king of Staten Island.
[Pauly D] Oh, and she's out!
[Vinny screaming] And he won! And he won!
Let's go! Let's go! Winner: The Keto Mother Effing Guido!
You threw like an animal.
[boys cheering]
The winner, Vincent AKA the Keto Guido!
[bleep] my life.
Boo! No, [bleep] you!
Boo!
Boo! Boo!
I wanted to see you kiss her toe.
I don't wanna kiss Vinny's talons.
They are disgusting.
Like, it's my worst nightmare. This sucks.
A real sportsman honors her bet. Yes, true.
You must say he is the King of Staten Island
and kiss his toe.
[sighing]
You are the King of Staten Island, Vinny.
Angelina, bend the knee. Wait, hold on, hold on.
I'm gonna throw up.
His feet are terrible. I'm like, I can't.
This is so n-- it's hairy. This is awesome. This is awesome!
There is no way that my tongue is going down there.
Gross. Ew. Ugh! Oh, my God.
This is awesome! [shrieks]
This is awesome!
[all groaning]
[screaming]
[bleep]!
Angelina accepted the challenge.
I won. She owned up to it.
So now going forward,
I will own up on my end and not ignore her.
I'll give you a hug, you honored your bet.
All right, truce, truce, truce.
[megaphone siren wailing] Thank you.
[Angelina] I mean, you know what?
If me and Vinny are gonna be cool
a-- from this, I'll take it.
The Angelina-Vinny beef is squashed.
You saw it here today, people.
You're a b*tch. Go on.
Oh, I am [bleep], but I could whoop your [bleep] a*s.
You couldn't whoop my a*s no matter what.
Okay, okay. It's not even worth it. What an a*s[bleep].
Yo, get out of our table, you chooch.
No, I-- You don't have to look at me, [bleep] off.
I never-- I never did anything to her.
[Deena] Going to Chang's? [Vinny]Yeah.
Might let us get in some trouble if you girls wanna come with us.
There'll be some critters there.
Yeah, I don't wanna go to a club, dude. I'm over it.
[Nicole] So I honestly feel like this vacation
has been all about drinking...
[Angelina laughing]
She's in "The Matrix" right now.
Come on, girl!
...partying...
[snorts]
[Ronnie] Nicole, meet the bush.
Like, I need a break.
I just thought, like, a nice winery.
Like, a sip-in wine would be nice.
So me and the girls are going out for a girl's night.
Yeah, they're gonna go to some wine [bleep].
[Pauly D] Listen, the boys haven't gotten together in a long time
without the girls.
So we're gonna separate tonight and find something dope to do.
We are about to have the best guys night ever.
We're about to turn up.
I would like to, um, put my pinky up tonight
and be a little classy. So I'm gonna try to not curse...
[gasping]
Oh, are we doing, like, a thing now?
We're gonna do a thing. I'm gonna-- No cursing.
No cursing. We're gonna-- we're gonna do the, um,
the napkin on my lap.
We're gonna do the sitting up straight,
because I have scoliosis and I slouch like an old grandma.
[gasping] She's gonna do it classy tonight.
No swearing. She's gonna do a napkin.
No talking about farts and [bleep].
All right. This is gonna be the first time ever.
I am definitely going to hold my composure, be cool.
Just, like, act like I am bougie
because I'm not a gross person.
I actually am a really classy person.
Maybe if you wouldn't leave a [bleep] [bleep] tampon
on the floor-- Leave me the [bleep] alone!
Who farted? It was me.
[girls gasping]
[screaming]
[belches]
[all shouting]
No thank you!
What the [bleep]?!
You think I'll be able to do that or no?
[belches] Why do I burp so much?
Okay, Keto Guido!
[Jenni] Angelina, we're waiting on you!
[Pauly D] Single Ronnie's trying to get out there.
[Mike] Ronnie's Tours is open for business.
[Ronnie] Nah, I'm not doing that.
[Pauly D] So we are going to the club tonight with Single Ron.
And what scares me about this is,
Taken Ron actually brought a girl to the Jacuzzi.
I can only imagine what Single Ronnie can do.
Aw [bleep], Ronnie's [bleep] a b*tch tonight, kid.
[Pauly and Vinny] ♪ Single Ronnie ♪
[bleep] a*s[bleep]. a*s[bleep], a*s[bleep].
[guys laughing]
[overlapping chatter]
[Pauly D] Roll out.
[Jenni] I am so excited for tonight.
We're going to a fancy wine bar loft,
we're gonna have cheese and crackers and wine,
and Angelina's not gonna swear.
She's gonna practice proper etiquette.
And I'm just like, yeah, girl, we'll see.
You girls have fun too. Love you.
[Jenni] Have the best time.
Bye, love you. Have a good time.
Be careful, guys.
Okay.
Like, I really wish I shoved a Chianti bottle
up my vag*na to bring it on this car ride.
Oh, it's starting. Where's my wine?
Oh, it's look pretty.
Oh, bistro lighting. Deena's favorite.
This is right up my alley.
Like, it's super, super classy.
You know, this is a fancy wine bar
in a fancy part of town, but we're still Jersey.
[Nicole] I wanna take my shoes off.
[Jenni] I already did. I thought everybody did.
[Angelina] So my mission to be classy right now
is going actually pretty well.
I feel like Jenni is the one
that's sitting there being a disgust.
[belches] I'm fat. [Angelina] Ew.
I mean, how the tables have turned.
[Jenni] There's food in my hair.
[Ronnie] Guys night out. [Mike] Single Ronnie!
Shut the [bleep] up, Mike. [laughing]
Single Ronnie.
Shut the [bleep] up. RSVP.
I think it's funny when everyone's like,
"Single Ronnie's back, Single Ronnie's back."
When have I ever really been Single Ronnie?
For like, a day in Miami [bleep] years ago?
♪♪
[laughing]
So as we're walking into Jenks,
I'm excited to just, like,
check out all the high quality thotties out here.
And it is country music night.
And to be honest with you,
I don't think there will be any thotties in sight.
You know, guidos fist pump, we beat the beat up.
But we just don't square dance. [laughing]
Ooh, we got a blood moon tonight, you see that?
Yo, are there any thotties out there?
[Mike] Right there. Right there, son.
Should we tell her Ronnie's single?
Come on over, girl.
[Vinny] Have a seat.
[guys laughing]
Thank you, thank you, thank you.
Uh... [Pauly D] Ice cream.
Our nights used to be fist-pumping, shots,
[bleep] beatin' the beat up.
Chocolate-vanilla swirl?
Chocolate-vanilla swirl?
And now we're eating [bleep] ice cream cones.
A chocolate twist with rainbow sprinkles.
Old as [bleep].
This is even better. Yes. Thank you.
I'll bring you guys napkins. Thank you.
Is that Thottimus Prime behind us?
Directly behind me,
[Vinny] We got hotties dancing for us.
[laughing]
Guy's straight up just dancing for us.
What th-- is that man's endgame?
I can't look at him while I'm eating ice cream.
[all laughing]
I'm just like, don't lock eyes, don't lock eyes.
Oh, my God, oh, my God, I'm locking eyes with him.
Oh, my God, he's seducing me.
Oh, my God, I'm in love-- no, I'm kidding.
I just-- he just like,
you know, it's just, he was captivating.
Like, I couldn't stop--
he had pretty good dance moves, I'm not gonna lie.
[Mike] Yo, he's using the chair now.
To be honest, his moves were quite impressive.
[Pauly D] But what the [bleep] does he want?
I don't know, I don't know.
Boys night used to be crazy.
But today, boys night is sitting down at a table
in Jenks on country music night
with a dude dancing right in front of us
eating some sprinkles and ice cream.
I wouldn't have it any other way.
Guys night.
[Ronnie] Guys night! [Pauly laughing]
Guys night!
[Deena] Ladies, I'm glad we did this.
[Jenni] This is awesome.
I have to say, we put a dent in this food.
I can't eat anymore.
I ate about pounds of cheese.
[Angelina] Oh, my God.
We are very polished today, I must say.
Like a polished turd.
Perfect. Perfect.
[laughing] We're such moms.
Mom juice! Mommy juice.
[Nicole] I mean, I already paid for it.
It's, like, alcohol abuse.
And I mean, who doesn't want wine?
So it's been such a good girls night.
Literally the best night ever.
I feel like my belly's even bigger now.
Oh, God. I feel pregnant.
[Deena gasping] Really?
"Every girl is fat?" I'm pregnant.
Why would you call her fat? That's so rude.
I'm walking out of the bar, and some guy calls me fat.
And I'm pissed.
[Deena] Grow the [bleep] up. What an a*s[bleep].
Do not call my friend fat when she's frickin' pregnant.
And even if she's not pregnant, she's not fat.
Wait, who said that? That guy.
Which one? Him? The old man said that?
He said "every girl's fat."
Oh, hell no.
He talked [bleep] about all of us. Wait, the guy in the orange?
Right here? Wait, he said we're all fat?
Yeah, someone in the back.
[Jenni] You can come after me all day.
The moment you talk about my friends, game over.
I will annihilate you.
[woman] Who's your fat friend?
Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! [shouting]
When I heard "fat", I see red.
Wait, inside? Yes.
Deena, you better hold my purse,
'cause I'm about to make him eat his words right now.
[gasping] I'm staying here.
Uh-uh.
Jenni will actually k*ll you.
So I don't know what this guy's thinking,
but he's gonna get his [bleep] a*s beat.
Were you just making fun of a pregnant girl?
I was. Claiming that someone was fat?
I did. I said fat. You're a piece of [bleep]. You're a [bleep] b*tch, bro.
Let's go. [bleep] test me.
Homeboy wants to go? Let's go.
What a [bleep] loser.
Come upstairs. Come upstairs.
You're about to get six months of [bleep] anger
unleashed on you.
I'm about to go [bleep] homeboy up.
You're a [bleep] [bleep].
[Nicole] Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
Is he fighting him?
[Deena] That guy said "every girl's fat."
Right here? Wait, he said we were all fat?
Yeah. Someone in the back.
[Jenni] The minute I hear-- especially of all people--
Deena, pregnant, and fat, like, game over.
This one in the white pants. Like he's a [bleep] douchebag.
Wait, [bleep]? Were you just making fun of a pregnant girl?
I was. Claiming that someone was fat?
I did. I said fat. You're a piece of [bleep].
This is what's wrong in society.
You're a [bleep] b*tch, bro.
I'm a big b*tch.Yeah.
So are you. Oh, really?
You're a b*tch too. You wanna get whooped by a [bleep] b*tch?
[Nicole] Who calls a pregnant woman fat?
Oh, you can't whoop me, baby.Okay.
If a man like that has the audacity and is allowed...
This is what's wrong with America.
...to say those things to a woman?
I ate a [bleep] pound of Brie cheese.
Yeah, I am fat right now, you little [bleep].
This is what's wrong with America. I was very respectful.
Piece of [bleep] like you
going after pregnant girls. Yeah, okay.
You come party with me, and I'll show you.
No one wants to party with you. b*tch. b*tch.
You're a b*tch. Stop. It's fine.
Oh, I am, [bleep], but I could whoop your [bleep] a*s.
You couldn't whoop my a*s no matter what.
He's not even worth it. It's not even worth it. Okay. Okay.
People are a*s[bleep]. [Angelina] What an a*s[bleep].
What a trash bag. Jenni, it's not even worth it.
He's a piece of [bleep].
[Jenni] He's lucky that I'm full of Brie
and I have Louboutins on.
[Angelina] I hate guys that wear white linen pants.
[Deena laughing] [Nicole]Same.
[Jenni] When I get that level,
it's like a light switch that goes off.
No, I get so turned on.
I love her.By me?
Yes. I don't even know what I said.
No, you looked really hot in there.
Oh, you're so hot. [groans]
What a good night.
Boys definitely aren't having as much fun as us.
Yeah, boys sucked today. The boys are like, "Where's the thotties?"
I was gonna be like, yeah, he finally left. But he didn't leave.
Bro, what is going on, man?
Oh, [bleep]. Now you think you're living your best life?
He's living his best life. [bleep]! Oh!
[Mike] The man has just been dancing up a storm
for like, two, three hours.
In my brain, I'm thinking, like, what's your endgame?
Can I get a picture with you guys?
I can't believe it.
[Ronnie groans] [Vinny] Sure.
Yeah?[Mike] Yeah, sure, why not?
So the guy in the red shirt had an endgame.
He just wanted to get a picture with us,
and that was his way of getting our attention,
and it worked. More power to him.
All right, there you go. Thank you.
All right, have a good night. Yo, man, have a good night.
[Ronnie] Keep living your best life. Thank you for the show.
[Vinny] So that's all he wanted, was to talk to us
and then he just walks away.
And, uh, I kinda feel-- I feel a little abused.
All he wanted was a picture?
Like, I wanted to finally talk to him.
[chuckling]
[Vinny] Yo, should we get some funnel cake for the road?
This guy's going in, bro. Oh damn, look at that bad boy.
Oh, my God. Damn!
Somebody get a shot of that. This guy ain't keto. That... is not keto.
That was a fun night.
Good night, girls, love you.
Damn, I can't believe we really struck out
with all them fine ones.
None of 'em wanted to come back with us.
How are you not eating some funnel cake?
I'm [bleep] full. You're a [bleep] savage, dude. It's so good.
Yeah, bro, this is-- there's always room for funnel cake.
Yo, the man never ends.
The eating never ends with him. He got a tapeworm.
I'm Italian, I can definitely eat.
I may be small, people don't think I can eat a lot
'cause, like, I don't weigh a lot.
But, uh, because I deprive myself from carbs
like % of the time, when I go in, I go in.
This man is like, pounds.
Wow, look who's judging me.
[Mike] Boys night. Hashtag, Respect
Smells like pastramis in this areas.
Oh, it's all those chicken fries.
[Vinny] Don't mind if I do.
[Pauly D] Once a cheater, always a cheater.
My man Vinny's been cheating all day.
You're always gettin' me cheating.
The keto Guido does not stop.
[Pauly D] This is like the movie "Freaky Friday".
Mike is switching places with Vinny right now.
[all laughing]
Your boy's keto? I don't think so.
Your boy's keto? I don't think so.
Yo, when he fails his ketosis strip,
just show him that picture.
There is the keto Guido,
and then there is the Cheeto Guido.
[Mike laughing]
[chuckles] This is awesome.
First it was the explanation chain.
Yo, you seen my new charm? [chuckles]
And now he's getting the cheating chain.
You done cheated on your diet, cheated on yourself,
cheated on me.
Why do I always find the cheaters?
[laughing]
[Nicole] No, no, no, no, no. What's up, my cousin?
What's up, cousin? What's up, my guy?
What's up, my guy? You wanna step to, my guy?
You don't want nothing, my guy. You don't want nothing, my guy.
You don't want nothing, my guy.
You don't want nothing, my guy. What's up, my guy?
[all gasping] I will [bleep] you up!
It's an all out melee.
This is like Guido "Jerry Springer" right now.
Stop, stop, stop! Stop!
[Vinny sighing]
Oh, yeah! Wake up!
Yeah! [Vinny sighing]
[Pauly D laughing]
I never did it with two people before.
Son, you looking scruffly back there.
The man is so tired from eating so much food last night.
Bro, I'm never eating again.
My man Vinny right now is hungover.
[groans]
A carbohydrates hangover.
He had too many non-keto foods.
[Vinny's voice echoing] Feels so good. So good.
[Mike] Whew! My man was doing work last night.
You know what I'm saying? I thought my name was the Snackuation.
Ron, how was the night last night?
We got ice cream. We-- we got more fattening food
and we got ice cream. That was really it.
Single Ronnie, Taken Ronnie.
Taken Ronnie is down to hook up with girls,
Single Ronnie gets ice cream.
[sucking teeth] Yeah.
[laughing]
[Deena] We went to, like, this cute little wine place
and we ate like, a lot of food. And then on the way out,
this guy called me fat.
But it was like an older guy.
And then, like, he was like, he said something else
and then Jenni went after him and was-- and he was like,
"You're a [bleep] b*tch. I'll [bleep] fi--"
Like, he was, like, ready to fight Jenni.
Damn. Who says that?
What type of person calls a pregnant woman fat?
Let alone a man? What type of man are you?
That's not cool.
If you really, really, really wanna talk [bleep]
about any of us, you can have Angelina for like ten minutes.
[bowl clattering]
[all laughing]
[Vinny] My man just creamed all over the kitchen.
That's what it's gonna look like when I finally get laid.
[all laughing]
[Ronnie] What's our plan for tonight?
I think the rooftop place,
but I think it has dinner downstairs.
Teak. [Pauly D] Yeah, I'm cool with that.
I should get ready.
[Deena] Tonight we're gonna have a nice family dinner
and go to a club.
And I just pray there's no douchebags
like white linen pants there tonight.
Yo, Vin, five minutes.
[Vin] Give me a second.
Do you need some help?
I bet he can't fit in his keto jeans.
Straight up.
[toilet flushes]
[Pauly D] Cabs a'here!
[Mike] I'm ready to go.
Let someone call us fat-- well, really me-- fat tonight.
Oh, God. If it's happening again,
I'm really gonna punch someone.
Love me a Buddha. Love me some sushi.
[Ronnie] This place looks completely different sober.
Ooh, noodles and rice. Whoo!
I see you peeking over there. How you doing?
How are you? Yeah, how you doing?
What's up, bro? What're you guys doing over here?
What's going on? We live right down the street.
Oh, yeah? Yeah, we're right there.
Hi, how you doing?
When we get to the restaurant, I see some distant cousins
that we kind of see like, once a year at a family party.
Hi, how are you?
These are my-- my kind of cousins. [laughing]
Kind of? Are you like a thousandth cousin
from your Italian family? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
He's my cousin's cousin.
[Jenni] I'm meeting Vinny's cousin.
And I'm like, wait a minute...
Was that you yesterday? It was.
Wait, was your friend...
He's not my friend.
Oh, my God. I said...
He's actually right over there in the...
[Jenni] Shut the [bleep] up.
Oh, my God, he's here.
Who? The guy from last night.
He's here? He's right there.
b*tch! b*tch! I'll show you the real one.
You [bleep] b*tch.
Trust me. You're a b*tch. Stop, it's fine!
Oh, I am, [bleep], but I can whoop you're [bleep] a*s.
You couldn't whoop my a*s no matter what.
[Pauly D] Can't believe he's actually here.
[Jenni] Wow.
[Nicole] Oh, my God, like, I didn't wanna see this guy again.
Now we have the boys here.
If the boys see us upset, it's gonna be a [bleep] brawl.
"One shot, bro!" [Ronnie laughing]
[Pauly D] What a small world. [Jenni] That's him!
I'm gonna go play around with my [bleep] foot up his a*s.
Just let me know, 'cause I have to be
far away from the situation.
No, you have to be with the Situation far away.
Yes. Yeah, I can't go near anything.
Listen, Big Daddy Sitch is on federal probations.
I need to stay very far from these type of situations.
He's coming.
Coming here? Right here.
Well...
[Deena] How is this even, like, occurring right now?
[Pauly D] He won't even look over here.
Chooch.
I need to drink now. I'm really stressed.
I'm like, mad. I'm annoyed.
[Nicole] I mean at this point, I feel like this guy's a troll.
He just wants to start drama with us.
He just wants to be around us, to get us pissed off.
And it's working.
He's coming back. He's coming back. He's coming back.
Oh, God, I'm gonna throw a glass at him.
Go away.
What? What's up, brother, how are you?
You know my boy Sonny very well.
Why is Mike shaking his hand?
[Jenni] So this chooch goes up to Mike
and wants to shake his hand and talk about mutual friends,
and we're all like, what're you doing?
Mike, why are you shaking that hand?
[Nicole] He called Deena fat last night.
Oh! Yo, get out of our table, you chooch.
This guy comes up to me being all nice,
tryin' to shake my hand, and I'm thinking to myself,
wait a second, like, I don't know you.
Get out of here.
No, I think-- You don't have to look at me, [bleep] off.
[Pauly D] Yo, get out of our table, you chooch.
No, I think-- You don't have to look at me. [bleep] off.
I never-- I never did anything to her.
You called me fat last night. You called her fat!
I never called her fat, I said she's pregnant.
We heard ya.
Were you just making fun of a pregnant girl?
Claiming someone was fat? You're a piece of [bleep].
I'm the nicest guy in the world.
So just apologize. Apologize for what?
You called her fat. Apologize.
I never called her [bleep]--
I'm not gonna call a pregnant woman fat.
What, they made it up? So they made it up?
[overlapping shouting]
Everyone's screaming at this guy,
"Get the [bleep] away from the table", and I'm just like...
I'm just sitting there eating my peppers
because I don't talk with my mouth, I talk with my fist.
And we all see what happens when I do that.
[Nicole] Please go away. I'm gonna leave.
I don't even give a [bleep]. We don't even want your apology.
I wasn't coming to say hello to you. I said hello to him.
All right, just-- you said hi, please go.
I'll say hello to him every time. All right, so go.
Me and Rob from CrossFit love you.
All right. Thank you, brother. Thank you, man. Thank you. Go away.
Go away, you [bleep] turd.
That is a chooch.
[Vinny] This guy is a real "doot-doo-doo."
A doot-doo-doo is just like a...
♪ Doot-doo-doo ♪ Just like, a [bleep] idiot
that you don't take seriously,
that anything can come out of their mouth,
they wanna look cool.
The guy's a loser and, uh, I don't know.
I think this guy is gonna get owned tonight
if he doesn't, you know, stop [bleep] looking at us.
Oh, he wanted a rise, he got one.
I wanna punch him in his [bleep] face.
And now he feels cool 'cause he's surrounded by beautiful women.
[Angelina] One of the girls that's with him? I know her.
See the girl that's facing us with the black hair
with the-- with the, um... Shaking her head.
Yeah, who's that? Yeah, she hates me
and she's with their crew.
I literally feel like I'm in the "Twilight Zone."
A girl that I know is hanging out
with the white linen pant guy right now.
And me and her have very bad blood towards each other.
Every time we're out, she tries to [bleep] fight me.
She's a stripper.
Like, literally strips for a living.
Is she hot? Where's she at? [laughing]
No, no, no, no. Strippers.
[Nicole] This is not good. Can we just go?
Let's go upstairs. Yeah, let's go upstairs.
I wanna listen to music. I need to hear...
[Jenni] I don't wanna see this guy ruin my night
for the second night in a row.
So we're just gonna go upstairs where it's like a lounge,
but it's kind of like a club.
But it's like-- I feel like a safe place
from the old douchebag guy.
[all cheering]
It's actually really cool. It's a nice rooftop place.
There's girls up there, there's music.
We're kind of vibing out a little bit.
And it's-- it's pretty chill.
Oh, my God. Jenni!
[Jenni] I see him right there. Oh, my God!
Are you [bleep] kidding me?
We can't escape this frickin' guy.
Eww, he's giving us the finger.
[Nicole] Who? Oh, that guy?
[Pauly D] This chooch chucks off the girls for no reason.
I'm a positive guy, but the only thing this guy's doing to me
is Pauly D positively pissing me off
in such a nice place.
What a [bleep] chooch. Get outta here, you chooch.
Wow, what a f... oh...
No, no, no, no... What's up, my cousin? What's up, cousin?
What's up, my guy? What's up, my guy?
You want something, my guy?
You don't want nothing, my guy. You don't want nothing, my guy.
You don't want nothing, my guy.
You don't want nothing, my guy. What's up, my guy?
[crowd chanting] Pauly! Pauly! Pauly!
Bye!
[crowd continues chanting]
[Deena] Pauly goes and makes
this freakin' guy his b*tch, and I love it.
And so does everybody else in this freakin' club.
[crowd chanting] Pauly! Pauly! Pauly!
Thank you.
I don't play that [bleep].
[chanting continues]
I'm like, that's right, that's my man, that's my mans.
Oh, that was so awesome.
[Nicole] You looked so hot.
That was awesome! So good!
Let's get Pauly girls.
You deserve a line of girls. [laughing]
[Deena] It means the world
when Pauly stands up for us girls,
because this frickin' guy sucks.
And you don't mess with our family,
or you deal with the boys.
Or the girls. Mostly Jenni.
Wait, where did Ron go?
He was gone the whole time.
Oh, he was gone? Oh, he missed it.
[toilet flushing]
[Ronnie] Go downstairs to the bathroom
'cause [bleep] going through me.
And walked out the bathroom,
and the guy that called Deena fat was like right there.
That's a-- that's a gold chain.
It's very gold. Oh, it's very gold.
Very gold. I don't-- I don't wear gold,
even though I have-- I have more mon-- more money than you.
I don't show. Anybody that shows,
you know what they call 'em? They call 'em a no-show.
You're [bleep]. You're nothing.
You're [bleep]. [bleep].
Actually, I-- They call you a nothing.
[Ronnie] This guy must have, like, insomnia.
He needs some help to go to sleep,
that's why he's [bleep] with me.
I honestly we-- wear nothing, and I'm very proud of it.
Just like nothing calls pregnant girls
fat chicks, right? No, no, no, no.
That's what you do, you call pregnant girls fat chicks.
I didn't call a pregnant girl a fat chick. Do I know you? But do I know you?
No, I called a fat chi-- I called a fat chick a fat chick, baby.
Whoa, whoa, whoa. First of all,
if you look in the Guido manual,
it specifically states don't [bleep] call me baby.
And if I showed you every chick I [bleep]... Don't call me baby. I'm not your baby.
I'm not your baby. I'm not your baby, first of all.
No, you're not-- you'll never be my baby. You're nothin'.
Second of all, don't ever touch my chain.
I don't show.
[breathing heavily]
You got me [bleep] up now. You've got me [bleep] up now.
Let's go. Homeboy wants to go, let's go.
What a [bleep] loser. Come upstairs.
Come upstairs with your [bleep] fake-a*s Givenchy.
Where is that from, TJ Maxx?
You [bleep] five-foot-three loser!
Dude... you are about to get six months
of [bleep] anger unleashed on you.
I'm about to go [bleep] homeboy up.
[Pauly D] Ronnie comes up here, "Hold my chain."
He's like, "Yo, this guy is starting with me downstairs."
I'm like, this guy's still here?
[Nicole] Where are you going?
What are you doing? Where's he going?
Where's he going?
[Jenni]Guys... Oh, my God.
He's about to get his [bleep] a*s whipped.
[Jenni] Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
Oh, man. You thought you got Pauly upset?
Like, you have never seen a Ronpage.
[Nicole] Oh, my God. [Deena screaming]
Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Is he fighting him?
I will [bleep] beat you down so [bleep] bad, bro.
Oh, my God.
Yo, bro. I don't show.
You're [bleep]. You're nothing, baby.
Let's go. Homeboy wants to go, let's go.
What a [bleep] loser.
I'm about to go [bleep] homeboy up.
Let's go.
I have so much going on in my life,
I'm about to release it on this [bleep] chooch right now.
He's gettin' hit from [bleep] that I'm dealing from Miami,
Vegas, Atlantic City, the Shore,
he's gettin' [bleep] all kinds of [bleep].
[Nicole] Oh, my God. Where's he going?
You're a [bleep] [bleep].
Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
Oh, my God, is he fighting him? Oh, my God.
Let him leave.
Let him leave the establishment. Oh, my God!
[man screaming]
Where's he at, though? He's over here.
[Nicole] Oh, my God. Homeboy wants to go.
You can call me fat, you can say my tan sucks,
you can even call me short.
But don't [bleep] touch my chain and call me baby
unless you're my girl.
That's his girlfriend. Go get your boy.
You a b*tch!
Where's your [bleep] boyfriend?
This guy's not coming out, but yet his girl's around.
And the girl's, like, talking [bleep] to Angelina.
I guess she has beef with Angelina from way back when.
You're a stripper. Bye! Bye!
[Angelina] That girl's a trash bag.
She st*lks my life, she's obsessed with me,
wants to [bleep] bang every guy that talks to me.
She's a stripper and she's a piece of [bleep].
Other than that, she's a really good person.
You ain't gonna do [bleep]. Come on, baby.
Where's your [bleep] boyfriend?
[Angelina] She just kept running her freakin' mouth.
And I'm not gonna take somebody talking [bleep] about me.
Get the [bleep] out of here,
Chrissy, you [bleep] dumb b*tch.
I will [bleep] you up, you stripping b*tch.
Come here. With your ugly-a*s t*tties.
[bleep] you, you [bleep] scum--
[overlapping shouting]
[man] Enough!
[overlapping shouting continues]
[bleep] dumb b*tch. I will [bleep] you up,
you stripping b*tch with your ugly-a*s t*tties!
Go away! [Chrissy] You ain't gonna do [bleep].
Come on, b*tch. [Angelina] You're a wh*re!
Oh, you ain't done? So come at me,
you [bleep] stupid stripping b*tch.
[Jenni] They're down there, I see them.
[Deena] Oh, my God. And look it, there's the other b*tch.
All right, I gotta go down there. I gotta go down there.
[Jenni] I'm about to beat the [bleep] out of this little stripper.
It's like, hold my beer.
Stop! Stop! Stop!
[overlapping shouting]
[Chrissy] Come at me!
JWoww has just shown up.
[Nicole screaming]
[overlapping shouting]
[Vinny] It's an all out melee.
This is like Guido "Jerry Springer" right now.
Let me go. [overlapping shouting]
How's that feel? You [bleep] stripper-a*s b*tch.
This b*tch needs to take a seat.
[overlapping shouting]