02x20 - Secaucus!

[bunniefuu]

I got beat up last night in the parking lot.

Are you serious? Swear to God.

For real? Yeah. Look.

[gasps] Oh [bleep].

[Deena] Maybe he like, cut himself shaving or something.

Yeah.

You thought Jen did it? What'd you say? No.

Oh, I thought you said Jen did it. Oh--

Oh. I thought you said Jen did it.

I think you said that.

[Mike] My heart is racing right now.

But at the end of the day, I need to hold my head high--

[crying] I just can't imagine what they're going through.

[reporter] And with that, she sentenced him to months in prison.

Oh my God! Oh my God! Oh my God!

[sobbing] Oh my God. [Angelina] Oh my God!

♪ Here I come ♪

Yeah, buddy!

Party's here!

The Situation is under construction.

This might not have been the best idea.

We're so classy now.

On the seventh day, it'll be lit.

Get the frig outta here, you crazy!

Um, hello?! ♪ Here I come ♪

♪ Here I come ♪♪

♪ The heat, the burn, the drive ♪

♪ To give the crown the rise ♪

♪ The glory in the fight ♪

♪ Dark side, the game plays tonight ♪♪

[Pauly D] There he is! There he is!

Look at that dapper don! He looks like John Gotti.

Oh, go!

[reporter] "Situation" Sorrentino was... Listen!

...just sentenced to-- Listen.

Mark and Michael "Sorrento" pleaded guilty to these charges nine months ago

and all that time, they know that this day has finally come.

And he even spoke to the judge, he addressed her in court,

he said that he changed his life.

She says she understands that... [Ronnie] Mike?

..and she understands that he understood his mistakes,

but that he chose to make those decisions... Shh!

...and that he must face the consequences.

[Ronnie] Oh no. Oh my God.

...she sentenced him to months in prison.

Oh my God! Oh my God! Oh my God!

[sobbing] Oh my God. [Angelina] Oh my God.

[Pauly D] Two years!

Are you [bleep] kidding me?

[all sobbing] Oh my God.

♪♪

♪ I'm breathing in, I'm breathing out ♪Dude!

♪♪

♪ I feel like our time is slowly running out ♪

[sniffling] Oh God.

♪ Danger, danger, danger ♪

♪ Things are getting stranger... ♪

Oh my God, two years?

[Pauly D] Two years.

♪ And I feel it coming ♪ [Deena] Oh God.

♪ Deep inside my heart, my heart, my heart ♪

♪ So, baby, sound the alarm ♪ What the [bleep]?

♪♪

♪ Sound the alarm ♪

[pounding on wall] [bleep]!

♪ Baby, sound the alarm ♪

♪♪

[sobbing]

That's so [bleep] up. Oh my God.

[Pauly D] She-- she made an example out of him.

Two years?

What the [bleep]? What is he gonna do? Oh my God.

Two years! Two years?

That's the worst. [bleep] two years?

[Angelina] That's insane, Ron. This is the worst.

Two [bleep] years?

Give him a couple months-- Yeah, exactly.

Just to do something. And make him pay a fine.

He's been doing so good for himself paying it back.

Two [bleep] years, are you kidding me?

You know how long [bleep] two years is? That's a long time.

Bro, two years is excessive.

Long [bleep] time. Excessive.

That's a joke. They're making an example out of him.

Two years, though?

♪ Do you feel it in the air? ♪

♪ Is it just me? ♪

♪♪

I understand if you do the crime, you have to do the time.

But that's too much time.

What do you say to somebody like that?

I don't know. You know what I mean?

I don't know. I have no idea.

I thought he was only gonna get up to months.

[bleep] me.

He doesn't deserve to be in a position where, you know,

he has a chance to possibly get pulled back

into the zone of where he had his demons.

I-I'm shaking. I can't even type right now.

It just breaks my heart because they were talking

about right after getting married, they wanted to start having kids...

Dude, it's all [bleep] up.

...and now they have to wait until they're-- two years?

I just can't believe that Mike is gonna be doing two years

and he's not gonna see my son being born.

Like, thinking about everything, it's just--

my heart is broken. Broken.

Right here, I got it.What?

"'Jersey Shore' star Mike 'The Situation' Sorrentino's brother...

sentenced to two years in prison." Brother.

They got the same [bleep] time?

No, no, no, no, no. This is his brother. Oops!

[both] Oh, Mark!

Hold on, let me read this.

"Mike Sorr-- Mike 'The Situation' Sorrentino's brother, Mark,

has been sentenced to months in prison on Friday."

"Mike is awaiting his own ruling," it says.

We're a*s[bleep]. Oh my God.

I'm shaking.

Bro, we almost just thought Mike got two years.

Well, that's what that [bleep] b*tch of a lady said.

This [bleep] needs to get fired.

The news reporter basically [bleep] up and said

Mike's going to jail for two years instead of Mark,

so we were all freaking out, Ron was punching things.

Who does that? Like, I feel like we have

PTSD from that [bleep]. I mean, that's not cool.

That lady was wrong.

She couldn't even pronounce his [bleep] name.

I'm suing.

Why are they on the same day?

Oh my God. This is crazy.

[stammering] I damn near flipped the table.

I feel like I'm in like, Ronnie's relationship right now.

I'm on a roller coaster.

It's up, it's down, it's up, it's down.

It's two years, it's not two years. It's Mark, it's not Mike.

It's like, what is going on? This is k*lling me.

♪♪

♪ Just waiting for the call back ♪

♪ Telling me you're sorry ♪

♪ 'Cause you're feeling empty ♪

♪♪

Thought there'd be an update by now.

The suspense is k*lling me.

I hat-- I'm very impatient. I can't.

I'm literally like, my legs are shaking.

I mean, we're sitting here right now waiting.

But I mean like, this is in the judge's hands.

Like, you can't do anything about it.

But like, if it takes longer,

is that good or is that a bad thing?

Like, 'cause if it would go quick, that means he got off?

Like, I don't know. That's what I'm thinking.

I don't know. This sucks.

Oy vey.

Bro, why would it be taking this long? Something's going on.

I don't know if it-- they all-- do they usually take this long?

[overlapping chatter]Stop.

Even though this is my first one.

[Deena laughing]

But maybe-- maybe that's how long it takes.

Nah, I don't think so. I don't know.

So if he was just getting probation, they wouldn't?

When you're in trouble, it takes longer than when-- if you're not in trouble.

Yep. I mean, he's definitely in trouble.

I'm just trying to get this update, but nothing...

So wait, I just got a text from my friend

that her co-- th-- it's a cop in Linden

that Mike got eight months, but I don't know--

[gasps] He got eight months. Mike got eight months.

"'Jersey Shore" star Mike 'The Situation' Sorrentino

sentenced to eight months in prison."

Oh my God.

He got eight months. That's a lot. That's a long time.

That's almost a year.

I cannot believe this. He's become such a better person.

He's done everything correctly. It just doesn't make sense.

That's some heavy [bleep]. He's going to jail.

Prison.Prison, not jail.

You're going to prison.Prison.

Jail is-- you do overnight jail.

He's going to prison, like...

Prison's no joke.

He's not-- he's not made for prison. No.

I feel like he just deserved probation or an ankle bracelet.

I don't even know what to do, I don't know what to say.

This is-- it's not good.

[Pauly D] Damn. He really got sentenced.

Sh-- th-- the judge just locked 'em both up.

[Pauly D] I feel like we've been hit by a truck.

Like, I'm Pauly D Positivity, and I can always find the good in something.

And I gotta look really hard to find the good in this.

I can't picture him in jail.

I can't, dude. I-I can't-- I can't see it.

He doesn't deserve it. I can't see it, dude.

I wonder how he is. I know.

♪♪

[reporter] Mike, do you think this'll hinder filming of the show at all?

[reporter #] Were you shocked by the-- the sentence?

How're you gonna make the money back? Are you concerned?

♪♪

[reporter #] Are you gonna say anything, Mike? Anything?

What do you say to your fans?

[reporter #] Good luck.

♪♪

♪ Take me by the hand ♪

♪ T-t-take me high and we will land ♪

♪♪

♪ However long it takes ♪

♪ These nights just never end ♪

Home.

♪ If we can make this last forever ♪

I need to go get my head together,

you know what I mean?

[sighs] Okay.

♪ Take me by the hand ♪

♪ T-t-take me high and we will land ♪

♪ Make these nights just never end ♪

♪ And we can make this last forever ♪

♪♪

♪♪

[reporters clamoring]

[Vinny] Everybody makes jokes, "Jail, jail, jail."

But sit there and think about that,

you know what I'm saying?

Like, going to a federal prison,

in that isolation and that harsh environment.

Like, I just don't want one of my best friends to go through that.

[reporters clamoring]

I'm honestly like, my soul has left my body.

Like, I am lifeless right now.

[Jenni] My heart hurts for them.

They went through the steps,

they've been through the process,

they're not the people that deserve this eight months.

Oh, Vinny and Jenni.

[Deena] How is he? How is he?

I'm numb. I really just can't believe that happened.

Is he coming or no? Yeah, he went home. He went home.

He went home, right? I figured that. He's going home.

Like, it's just-- I just don't see-- I don't see it being fair.

How is he? We need to know everything.

You have no idea how that like-- Oh my God.

They were like, turning it back into a trial.

Like, prosecution would go up

and then the defendant would come up.

Yo, it was like watching a friend like, in--

like, in a boxing match, like a fight. Like you--

Oh, that's the worst. Wow.

And then at the end, it's like the-- you know,

when they're saying who won. Yeah, oh, wow.

And then they gave the-- the prosecutor won.

She went to M-- like, the lawyer, and she's like,

"No, I don't wanna hear anymore." And I was just like, oh my God.

I'm very disappointed in the justice system.

I feel bad for Mike.

He's a rehabilitated person. You should see that.

♪♪

I think I deserved probation.

Uh, I was not happy with the result.

But I have to be accountable and responsible,

and I have to handle it, I have to move forward.

♪♪

♪ We used to be so hard ♪

♪♪

I guess I'm gonna get that much-needed rest

I needed between seasons I've been thinking about.

[both laughing]

♪ Down, down, down ♪

On a lighter note, I got jumped last night.

They stole my Gen-X chain.

The last time I saw you, you had to take care of a-- like, a robbery--

Oh, Ronnie got jumped. And then you got jumped?

Last night, yeah. Who are your people?

The-- I can only process one thing at a time.

Sh-- show her your eye.

[Deena] Yeah, look at his face.

Who jumped you?

Some random person... Jenni.[laughs]

...at some-- Secaucus. W-- wait for that wine.

A "ca-caucus"? In Secaucus.

See, you, you could do eight months.

Maybe it would actually fix your life.

But Mike? Not Mike.

Did you get a good lick in?

No, I went down. Ohh.

'Cause Jen and her friend got involved, and I didn't--

Jen was here last night. So Ron got jumped?

Mm-hmm. M'kay.

We're going with that one tonight? All right. Okay.

Guys, shh. Ronnie has a call. [Vinny laughing]

Do you think he really got jumped?

He didn't get jumped. There's no way he got jumped.

Yeah, he got jumped. By Jen. [laughs]

[Jenni] What the [bleep]?

Yeah, I don't believe anything Ronnie says about Secaucus.

So whether Ronnie's telling the truth or not, who knows.

He's like the boy who cried wolf at this point.

I have so many speculations on that.Yeah.

I think Jen... That's what I--

And he said he got hit in the back of the head? He has a black eye.

And a scratch right here.

I mean like, I been in plenty of fights,

and I never got scratched by a guy ever.

I mean, who gets scratched by a guy?

It doesn't happen. You get scratched by a girl.

You guys ready to go? [all] Yeah.

Let's get outta here. What a day, what a day.

Shotgun. Bye.

[Ronnie] Quite a day for the "Jersey Shore" family.

[Pauly D] Another day, another sentence.

[chuckles] Shut up.

All right, girls. Jenni, text us.

[overlapping chatter]

It drained me. It probably drained all of you. Yeah.

Poor Mike. I just need to go home and lay down.

[Jenni and Nicole] Same.

I gotta go to the [bleep] urgent care

when I go back now. For what?

For the gash in the back of my head. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Ron's face, though, I can't.

It's like, what guy scratches another guy?[bleep].

Yo, he got his a*s whupped.

By her, right? Yeah.

♪♪

♪ We can run this town together ♪

♪ If you hold back ♪

♪ Just don't hold back together ♪

♪♪

[Jenni] Where are they? I have like, these chills.

I hope like, this makes him smile.

So us roomies decide let's go check on Mike,

see how he's doing, and, you know,

if he is down on the dumps,

maybe we can raise his spirits a little.

And now we're just waiting for the rest of the roommates to get here.

All right, cookies-- What kinda cookies does he like?

[Angelina] Wait, oh, Doritos.

We're looking for, um,

all of Mike's favorite foods right now, you know?

All the bright-colored food that looks like

you would bring to a children's party.

Funfettis. There it is. Get him three.

Three?Yeah.

Funfetti cake, Doritos, you know, all that little--

little kid [bleep], that's what Mike loves.

[Nicole] They're here, thank God.

[Jenni] Nice delivery boys.

[Deena] Ooh!

Hey, I'm here to deliver a package. Yeah!

Did you guys order groceries?

Guys, Pauly had to bounce to DJ this morning.

So he couldn't make it. Work is work.

I don't know how he sleeps.We know.

He doesn't sleep. He doesn't.

Free... [crowd] Mike!

Free... Mike!

That was for Mike "The Situation," we love you!

[crowd cheering]

Got three funfettis, Doritos.

Ice cream cake. Diet sodas.

Freakin' diet sodas. Barbeque chips.

Everything, basically.

Even the Keto Guido will take a bite of this stuff for Mike today.

[girls exclaiming] I wanna see this.

Just for him. I wanna see this.

I honestly don't know how Mike's feeling today.

Um, part of me wants to say he's doing good.

But like, the human side of me is saying how can you feel good.

I feel like a good funfetti, some chips,

just some garbage food on a day-after-court morning

is Mike's needed medicine.

[overlapping chatter]

Moses! Moses!

[overlapping chatter continues]

It means the world to me that,

uh, my homies came by to check up on me.

We got snacks.

And I have the best roommates ever.

Mike, you hungry? [Mike] I actually am hungry.

We got you foods. Mike, ice cream cake.

Yes! We'll start with one funfetti.

Oh my God. Cookies.

Oh! Powdered donuts.

Oh my God. You guys are the best.

Gonna be living my best life for a couple days.

L-- let's all take a donut.

I'm going to live my best life with him.

To Mike living his best life.

[Ronnie] To Mike, living our best lives.

[all] Yay!

'Cause you know what?

I'm not gonna be able to do it with him for a while, you know what I mean?

So I wanna get it all in while I can.

Oh my God. Give me more. [chuckling]

Keto Guido, oh my God, calm down.

I love a good diet soda.

[bleep] it, I'm gonna drink a diet soda too.

[all exclaiming]

So dramatic.

I appreciate you guys coming to support me.

[all] Of course.

It meant the world to me.

Um, in the beginning, when I first, uh, got to court

and I saw you guys and I started to hug Nicole an Deena,

I got a little emotional really quick 'cause--

Yeah. Oh, I lost it.

'Cause you guys looked emotional

and I'm like, [bleep], I don't-- you know what I mean?

We tried-- tried to all stay strong for you. Yes.

In life, there are important things.

And those things are the intangibles: family, love, and friendship.

And I have all three. I'm holding my head high right now.

I have a-- I have a couple weeks b-- to just gather myself.

Did they tell you when exactly?

No, it's-- usually, it's - days you have to like, surrender yourself.

Um, so, uh, but I'm gonna see

if I can surrender myself after the holidays.

Maybe like January--Yeah.

Like January th, you know what I mean?

But, guys, at the end of the day, the most important thing is,

um, I got the girl, and, uh, we have a wedding to plan.

[Deena] Yes! Amen.

Now that court is over, it is time to concentrate on the wedding.

And we have to do wedding planning,

we have to do seating charts,

we have to make sure that we have groomsmen gifts,

and, um, we got a lot to do.

Ron, it sunny in here? Or what's going on?

[all chuckling] [Nicole] Oh, my God.

It's not about me today, [bleep], it's about Mike.

Wait, wait, wait, what happened?

[Deena] Ronnie?

I got robbed the other night for my gold Gen-X chain.

Get the [bleep] outta here. Show him.

Where? Uh, Secaucus?

[Nicole] What a sin.

In Secaucus? [laughter]

Yeah, bro.

What the [bleep]? Secaucus?

Secaucus?

♪ You seen me, let's do it, you seen me, let's do it ♪

♪ I know you seen me, let's do it ♪

♪ You seen me, let's do it ♪

[Vinnie] Ron, it sunny in here? Or what's going on?

[all chuckling] Oh, my God.

It's not about me today, [bleep], it's about Mike.

Wait, wait, wait, what happened?

[Deena] Ronnie?

I got robbed the other night for my gold Gen-X chain.

Get the [bleep] outta here.

Where? Uh, Secaucus?

[Nicole] What a sin.

In Secaucus? [laughter]

Yeah, bro.

What the [bleep]? Secaucus?

[overlapping chatter, laughter]

Dude, I'm all worried about my situation,

and Ronnie tells me that he got jumped in Sea-caucus.

You were out in the open, and somebody saw you,

and [bleep] targeted you? Yeah.

[Angelina] And jumped him.

That's [bleep] crazy.

That is right, guys, you heard me right: Sea-caucus.

[Vinnie, laughing] "In Secaucus?"

My favorite line of all time.

[Mike] I've been to Secaucus.

Great place.

But Ronnie, he got jumped.

[scoffs] Sure, Ronnie.

Did you guys go in, like, kinda preparing for the worst,

but, like, hoping for the best, or you were just like--

I was just happy that it was over. Yeah.

That day it was over. Like, we've lived

every day for five years.

Because it's been four years since... the arraignment,

but it's been five years since the investigation started.

But a year from now, it'll all be, like, officially over.

[all agreeing] So on our year anniversary,

we'll go to like, Italy. And it's gonna go by like that.

Yo, this thing that happened to you is like

the best worst thing that's ever happened to you, right?

And they even said that yesterday. Yeah, yeah.

'Cause you are who you are today

because of, you know, this trial that--

They-- they really held me accountable.

And, um, because of that, I'm--

I am the man I am today, you know? Yeah.

And, um, you know, grateful for that.

It's a telling sign of who I am today

for me to say I'm excited to pay my bills,

for me to say I'm excited to pay my fines,

because I'm being accountable today.

I'm doing everything right.

I just wanna live a healthy, happy, positive life.

I'm having a little bit of a sugar rush right now

from all the Doritos and cookies,

but I am excited for tomorrow.

Yes. The dude ranch.

I took the initiative to book a dude ranch for after court.

Oh, wow.

Take a few days, no cell service.

Literally in the country.

He wants to go to a food ranch, not a dude ranch.

[Ronnie] Food r-- [laughs] Yeah.

[Vinny] It's gonna be nice to get out in nature.

[Jenni] We'll go into the wilderness.

[Deena] It'll be relaxing.

A bunch of guidos in a dude ranch.

Wonder what that's gonna be like.

I'm actually really excited.

[Angelina] Are you excited to go?

I am, I am excited.

I to-- I told the wifey yesterday,

I'm like, all right, honey, I'm gonna take a couple days off

and not really speak to anyone and just chill with the family.

She's like-- she's like-- she's like,

"Sorry--" she's like, "You're going tomorrow."

[all laughing]

So I was like-- I said Sunday!

I was like, damn, all right, hon.

Is there anything at the dude ranch

you would want? S'mores?

Good food and family, that's all I need.

I cannot imagine what Mike is like, truly feeling.

Because at the end of the day, he's human.

I know he is being super positive for his friends,

his family, his soon-to-be wife.

But he is, he's human, he's nervous.

And this Mike, in my eyes, doesn't deserve it.

And I feel like at the end of the day, he knows that too.

[Nicole] All right, we're gonna let you guys relax.

All right. Relax.

We just wanted to say hi.

Later, brother. Love you, man. See you tomorrow.

Give you some stuff.

Mmm. Love you, love you. Enjoy your night.

We're stealing you again tomorrow.

Come here, D. Love you.

Bye, Mosie. You look beautiful pregnant.

[Deena] Oh, thank you.

Ooh, I wanna take some funfettis home with me.

[overlapping chatter]

Bye. Love you. Love you.

Thanks for the foods.

[Deena] Enjoy it.

I'm very grateful that they came by to check up on me.

But after my sentencing, I don't know if I'm ready

for this trip to Lake George. So we'll see.

♪♪

[Jenni] Wait, where is Mike? Mike's not here yet.

Where is he? I thought he was with you.

[Pauly D] Oh my God. Wait, he really didn't come?

[Vinny]No. Oh, that breaks my heart.

Now what do we do? Because this whole trip is for Mike.

Operation: Free "The Situation."

♪ Unh, viva It goes one, two, three, four ♪

♪ Tear drops at my door ♪♪

[cheering]

[Paola Guadagnino] Mike, like, I saw like, when he was walking

into court and he looked like, really nervous.

Ma, he got eight months, you know?

So it wasn't the outcome that he-- he wanted.

Everybody is meeting at my house,

and then we are all going to go to the dude ranch together

like one big dysfunctional family.

The judge, like, she kinda set an example.

I thought that it was a little harsh, so...

I'm glad we're going up in the woods, in nature.

Mike can breathe some fresh air.

Like, meditate. I think that's what Mike needs,

that's what I would want in such a tough situation.

Before he goes, you should, um,

make him, like, some cutlets or something.

Of course.

♪ Ohh, ohh, ohh ♪♪

[Pauly D] I'm excited.

I've never been to a dude ranch before in my life.

Who's knocking?

Oh, yeah! Road trip, yeah! We hittin' the road.

Hey. Oh, hi, boyfriend.

Vinny don't live with his mama no more!

[Pauly D] What the-- I knew she lived here!

Not surprised, she's always there.

My son-in-law. I knew you was here.

You made the best choice you coulda ever made.

Aww, that makes me happy.

You gotta get the mother-in-law's approval.

Hello? [laughter]

[Vinny] "Hello," like it's gonna answer.

Hello? Hello?

Ma, who are you saying hello to?

I don't know, it's probably not even on.

Let me check. Oh yeah!

[siren whooping]

[laughing]

♪♪

[Pauly D] Yeah, I mean, I actually think it's good for Mike.

This dude ranch'll help him take his mind off it,

you know what I mean? Yeah, get a little distraction.

This trip I think will be good for Mike.

Get him away from paparazzi, they're outside his house.

Get him away from cell service,

get him away from everybody and clear his head.

And where to do that?

[knocking on door] Dude ranch.

Oh my God! My husband!

Oh! Hi.

Hello?

[all greeting]

I have to go pee-pee really bad.

Hello? I didn't know you lived in a mansion.

Hello, neighbor.

Hello. Hello, neighbor.

Oh, God. What up?

[Vinny laughing]

Oh my God, he shut the door on Angelina.

What's up, neighbor? Hi, Vinny. What up?

I don't know what took you so long.

We gotta get on the road. Yeah, where's Jenni?

[horn honking]

[Jenni laughing]

[Jenni] I feel like I'm like a soccer mom right now

'cause I'm rolling up and I'm like,

picking up all my soccer kids with the banner on the front

in the big oversized minivan

and be like, hey, guys,

we're going to our first tournament.

[horn honking]

Is that a thing with soccer? Like tournaments?

I don't know. I don't know.

[Jenni] Good morning, kids! [Vinny] Ohh!

[Pauly D] What in the world is that?

What the hell?

We're going camping! I couldn't get an RV last night.

Thought we were gonna get a Winnebago.

RV's here! Or is that a [indistinct]?

At least we're gonna be inconspicuous.

All right, let's go down. It's a party bus.

[Deena] Wait, I need to get my bag. [Angelina] I need to get my bag.

Ooh, jinx. Where's Mike?

Wait, where is Mike? Wait, I thought he was with you.

Bro, Mike's not here yet. [Deena] Mike's not with you?

[Nicole] Is he coming? [Vinny] He's not here.

Mike's not here yet. Wait, really?

[Angelina] Where is he? Really, he's not here?

Yesterday, Mike was in good spirits.

So I don't understand like, where he is.

I thought he was with you.

[Pauly D] Oh, my God.

Oh, God, this is not good.

So now what?

♪♪

♪♪

[Jenni] Wait, where is Mike?

[Ronnie] Wait, I thought he was with you.

Bro, Mike's not here yet. [Deena] Mike's not with you?

[Angelina] Where is he? [Jenni] Really, he's not here?

I thought he was with you.

[Pauly D] Oh my God.

Oh, God, this is not good.

[Nicole] I mean, he was a little weird about going.

Should we call him? Yeah, call him.

Wait, he really didn't come?

[Vinny]No. Oh, that breaks my heart.

[Jenni] I feel like yesterday Mike was in good spirits,

so I don't understand like, where he is.

Like, he didn't show up.

He's not here, I don't know.

Should we call him or what?

Now what do we do? What's the next step?

Because this whole trip is for Mike.

Should we go get him? Yo, let's just go to his house, man,

just get him out.

Maybe if he sees us, he'll be happy. Yeah.

Just let him decide. If he wants to, he wants to. If not--

[Jenni] No-- nothing forced, just support regardless.

Do you wanna call him first or you just wanna show up?

[Pauly D] Show up. [Vinny] All right, so you wanna--

So should we pack the bags and go get Mike?

Operation: Free "The Situation."

[kissing] Love you, Vin.

We're taking a shot in the dark right now

because we don't know if Mike is gonna actually come with us.

But I think that coming on this trip would be good for Mike.

Nobody's sitting with you?

[Deena] She's a wife, an amazi--

Okay, all right.

[Jenni] Love you. Love you.

Eyes everywhere, Jenni.

Watch the pole.

[screaming] Jenni, watch out!

[Jenni] Ahh! [laughing] [Nicole] Oh my God!

We have a pregnant girl in the car.

Sorry, I forgot.

No, no, don't do that to her.

Sorry, D. [Paola] Bye!

[Deena] Bye, Paola.

[Pauly D] Are we almost at Lake George?

♪ You gotta roll the dice You gotta roll the dice ♪♪

Scale of to , how bad is it that we're rolling up?

Good? Bad?

Um, I think that... [Vinny] Rolling up?

-. ...he'll be happy to see us.

[Jenni] -? Yeah.

I don't know if he's coming out.

We had this whole thing planned.

Like, the spirits were high, ready to go.

Everyone, you know, getting Mike away for the weekend.

And then all of a sudden it's like, he's not coming.

This whole thing was for him. So we're all like,

just like, kind of waiting in anticipation.

[Deena] This is the first time I really

don't know how he's gonna react.

[Pauly D] I'ma be honest with you like,

I think Mike'll be happy to see us.

I don't know if he wants to go or not,

we'll have to find out when we get there.

That's my-- that's how I feel. [overlapping chatter]

I just don't wanna make him feel uncomfortable.

Yeah, I don't want him to feel like... forced.

Pressured. He didn't come for a reason.

I feel like we don't come on too, too strong.

I actually am nervous.

I don't know what to expect right now.

Like, is he gonna be sleeping? What if he's like,

sprawled out on his bed naked with a pizza?

[Ronnie] Yeah. [Nicole] That's how I would be.

[Jenni] Guys, we're here.

[Pauly D] Oh my God.

All right, so I think, uh...

we all should not go up.

[Nicole] Absolutely not. The married couple could go up.

Yeah, I think Vinny and Pauly would be the best.

What's your approach?

I-I don't wanna be too aggressive.

[Vinny] Me and Pauly just kinda know how

to talk to Mike where he won't feel imposed on,

he won't feel bombarded.

What is i-- why doesn't it say it in here?

'Cause we're only on the A's and B's,

we gotta fast-forward.

Press the # for the next page.

Oh, wait. You just passed it.

Do you see "Sorrentino"? No. Right?

No. S-- s-- Samsonite.

[speaker feedback]

"Pesce, L." This says .

How do you-- what do you-- how do you call?

Nothin', you just press it.

No. Oh. See?

I don't know how many guidos it takes to press some buttons,

but we can't get this thing to work.

[man's voice] Please leave a message and I'll get back to you, thanks.

[overlapping chatter] Is that Mike?

Mike?

That was not Mike.

Was it under his name or hers?

I don't know. Let's just call his phone.

[phone line trilling]

[Mike] Hello?

[Vinny] Hello, Michael.

Hello, Vincent.

[women] We're locked out of the car.

[Pauly D] Stand back, I'm gonna break the window.

[Angelina] No, you 're not.

Stand back, I'm gonna break the window.

[Jenni] Oh my God! Oh my God! Oh my God!

[screams]

♪♪

[phone line trilling]

[Mike] Hello?

[Vinny] Hello, Michael.

Hello, Vincent.

[Vinny] So we're at Mike's apartment.

Last we checked with Mike,

he was coming to the dude ranch, and now he's MIA.

We don't know what's going on.

Um, little bit of news. So we are--

me and Pauly are actually downstairs right now.

Hi, Mike! Yeah, I'm with Pauly D.

Yeah, we didn't wanna make it like--

like we're coming to kidnap you or anything

'cause we know that you're...

...taking your time doing your thing.

What if he's like,

he needs today and then tomorrow he's good?

[Ronnie] Yeah.

I don't know what to do.

[Jenni] I will be honest, I am really nervous

because I don't know how Mike's gonna take this.

He did not call, text, forewarn any of us

that he was not showing up. Like, he might not wanna see us.

But, uh, you know, we just wanted you

to have the option if you wanted to.

[Mike] Um, you know what, man? Just...

It's like, up to you, you know?

Um... g...

I'll just-- I'll just-- I'll just pack my stuff

a-a-and be down in a little bit.

All right, cool. Yay!

All right, bye.Nice.

That's a score. All right.

That's a win. That's a win.

See, I told you they should've sent us.

Bro, that's what's up.

BDS is in the building!

[Angelina] What happened?

He's coming. [all cheering]

Right-- right now. Half an hour.

What happened? Oh, awesome.

He was like, "Since you guys are here,

"I'll just come down.

I'll pack my bag and come down."

Oh, good.

I feel like life is perfect right now.

Like, we got it all and we're gonna hit the road,

and we're gonna hit the road on a high note.

We have a -hour drive, might as well get lunch.

[Deena] The cafe over there?

[Jenni] I think Stewart's is actually like a burger joint.

[Pauly D] Oh, that works.

[Vinny] Is there Keto options?

You can get something at the cafe, you chooch.

What a [bleep] chooch.

I honestly thought that we were just gonna have to go,

and then Mike maybe will meet us there or not.

[Pauly D] Oh, cheat day with Ronnie!

The fact that he's saying he's coming with us right now,

I'm just like, yes.

It like, turned the whole day around.

Are you guys ready to order or do you need some time?

We're ready. Yeah, we're ready.

[Deena] What kind of sodas do you have? [Nicole] "Soders"?

No, no, fructose corn syrup.

[Nicole] Oh my God.

Can I get the boardwalk cheese steak?

But I-- can I just get it in a plate without bread?

[waitress] Without bread? Yeah, of course.

Yeah. [Pauly D] Chooch.

[Angelina sighs]

Can I have another cup of ice please?

Mm-hmm. Wow, he's a chooch.

Oh, God, go away. We don't know him.

[Nicole] Yeah, can we vote him off the island?

I asked for ice!

This guy just asked for ice on the side.

Chooch-chooch. [train horn blaring]

♪♪

[Mike] After my sentencing, I'll be honest with you guys,

I did not expect this result

or this outcome to be handed to me.

Maybe it's a good idea that I get some time with my friends

up in the country, upstate New York,

one with nature. Um, could be a good situation.

[Jenni] There he is. [Vinny] He's coming.

[all] Hey, you popped your cherry!

♪♪

[chuckling]

That's from "Goodfellas," and I thought it was hilarious

because these guidos can always make me laugh.

What's up, my guy?

We ha-- had to come get you, my guy.

Even in the craziest of situations.

[sighs] Yeah, the last couple nights

I really didn't get too much sleep.

[Vinny] Why? That's weird. Why, 'cause of the weather?

Uh, yeah. [Pauly D] It's been [bleep] out.

Politics. Last night, I just--

I just wasn't able to get packed.

I was making sure that Lauren was okay.

The last day or two, she's been a bit sensitive.

And I'm just trying to just be there for her and be strong,

you know, for my family.

I'm seeing so many different things online.

You're gonna be there for three months,

you're gonna be there for five or six months, my--

I pray for half. We all pray for half.

Something was committed. I was part of-- of a crime.

But my involvement was extremely minimal.

I believe they wanted to make an example out of me.

I'm the first person in my crime...

[Pauly D] That's what blows my mind. ...to-- to get thrown in jail.

That blows my mind. Ever. Ever.

♪♪

At the end of the day, it could've been so much worse.

He only has eight months, it could've been .

Mike has his health, his happiness,

we're in a good place.

What blows my mind is that you paid your fines.

I ev-- yeah, I did.

He is debt free, he is correct.

Uh-huh. Paid restitution.

Restitution. Fines.

Everything. Interest, everything.

Um, and it was--

and it wasn't good enough, you know what I mean?

[Pauly D] No way to appeal?

Yeah, no, I don't think so.

That costs so much money. [Mike]Yeah.

It starts all over again.

It literally has costed me...

I would think close to a million dollars

to defend this case the past five years.

♪♪

It's crazy. [Jenni] Time to--

It's over. It's over.

Maybe you'll change some lives while you're in there.

[Mike] I know, I thought about that. I think you will.

[Pauly D] You're handling it well. You're handling it well, man.

And you looked good on the news.

Oh yeah? You looked like a gangster.

Yeah. Front page news.

Yeah, you want world news. That [bleep] was CNN.

We're happy you're here. [Mike]Yeah.

I-I'm ready to go, yeah.

All right.Whoa.

[Mike]Yeah.

[Ronnie] Get ready to go to Lake George.

[Angelina] Let's go. [overlapping chatter]

[Mike] Right now, Big Daddy Sitch is feeling in a really good way

because I'm getting away from the madness,

I'm getting away from the cameras.

[chuckling]

And, uh, I'm able to get some time with my friends.

Thanks for coming here. Thanks for coming with us.

I love you. Love you, sis.

[Pauly D] Oh, yeah! Road trip, yeah! We hittin' the road.

[Vinny] It says "Free The Situation" on the front.

It says "Free Sitch" on the front? [laughing] Yeah.

We got a whole back row for Big Daddy Sitch.

BDS is in the building!

Mike's in a good mood, thank God.

You know, this is gonna be a nice vacation for him.

Jenni's driving? [Nicole] Yep.

[Deena laughing] [Mike] What the [bleep]?

[Nicole] I'm super excited Mike's here and he's coming.

And getting together with everyone, it's amazing.

[Jenni] See you later, Lauren.

[Mike] Bye, Lauren. [Nicole] See ya, Lauren.

[Pauly D] We hittin' the road. BDS is in the building!

♪ Loving every moment ♪

♪♪

♪ Loving every moment ♪♪

So there's water in the sides,

and we only do one stop for the bathroom,

so please hold it until then.

[Vinny] Are we there yet?

[Deena] I'll hold it as much as--

BDS is in the building!

[Nicole] You were just sleeping.

[all laughing]

[Jenni] I'm feeling good.

We're a little bit behind schedule,

but it's fine because we would not be going

if it wasn't for Mike. So I'm just zenning.

I'm overheating.

I don't understand where the vents are.

Gotta check to see if they're-- [horn honking]

Ooh! That was me.

No matter what, I'm the driver,

I'm gonna get everyone there

whether it's : PM or : AM.

[fly buzzing] Ahh!

Oh my God, there's a fly. Ahh!

[horn honking] [Jenni]Ooh!

That lady's mad at you, Jenni.

I saw...

Yeah, she flipped you off.

[Jenni] Ronnie! Secaucus.

Wanna go get your chain? [laughing]

It's great to "see caucus."

[laughing]

Sorry, you guys, I've been holding it for a very long time.

D's gotta potty.

I gotta go too, so you're fine.

[Deena] Have to go again.

[Nicole] Do you feel? It's a lot cooler.

That feels great.

So our first rest stop, you know,

we're going to pee, get our foods.

[Deena] I think right now he's just

sitting on my bladder so I feel it.

I'm gonna go get a wine,

let's get this [bleep] on the road.

[Deena]Okay.

[Pauly D] Oh, yeah! Stony Creek Ranch, yeah!

[Nicole] We still have three hours left.

I'm excited to have a glass of wine,

sit by the campfire, and tell ghosty stories.

[Nicole] Jenni, do you have, um, a spare?

'Cause the keys are in the engine and we're locked--

Shut the [bleep] up. [Deena] Oh my God.

[women] We're locked out of the car.

Why can't we do anything right?

[Pauly D] I can break the window.

[Nicole] We're locked out of this [bleep] car.

We're in the middle of nowhere at a rest stop,

and we're locked out of our truck.

What else could go wrong?

[chuckling] Cue the thunder. [laughing]

This is gonna be the road trip from hell now.

This is amazing. We cannot make this [bleep] up.

[Pauly D] Stand back, I'm gonna break the window.

[Angelina] No, you're not.

Stand back, I'm gonna break the window.

[Jenni] Oh my God! Oh my God! Oh my God!

[screams]

♪♪

[Deena] Oh my God.

[women] We're locked out of the car.

Whelp, great road trip.

Why can't we do anything right?

[Jenni] You did it!

I d-- what the hell did I do?

Somebody left the g*dd*mn keys

in the [bleep] van, and now we're stuck.

Stand back, I'm gonna break the window.

We're not even out of [bleep] Jersey yet.

[Nicole] We're locked out of this [bleep] car.

[Ronnie] This is amazing.

We cannot make this [bleep] up.

No way. No way. [Vinny laughing] No.

[Nicole] Well, I guess we should go home.

[Jenni] No! There's way too many warnings.

This is seriously why guidos do not go on road trips.

Like, we [bleep] it up the whole trip,

the whole process even getting there.

[Angelina] Let's go back in,

it's too [bleep] hot out here.

[Vinny] I'm having a cheese steak.

I'd have AAA, but my phone's in the truck.

[both laughing]

Desperate times call for desperate measures.

And thankfully, our gas station had one of those...

car breaker thingers and then Pauly's, you know,

Pauly's gonna get it. I have faith.

[Nicole] Ooh! Pauly!

[Pauly D] It's right there. Your sister!

[laughing]

The only person that's gonna get this car open is me.

I'm not gonna let Deena do it, she's pregnant.

Only us.

I'm not gonna let Vinny do it 'cause he has no idea.

This is like a-- illusionary thing.

Ronnie'll probably break the window.

Right, well...

Mike can't get caught doing it, he's on probations.

Okay, okay.

So here we go, it's my turn.

[door unlocks]

[all cheering]

[Nicole] Saved the day!

Everyone check your wallets.

Yay! [Pauly D] 'Eyy!

[Ronnie] don't know about that, P. We got a winner.

[Nicole] Let's get the [bleep] out of here now.

Pauly saves the day, we finally get into the bus.

Lake George, here we come.

♪ Hey, baby Got more than you know ♪

[Pauly D] Feels like a real road trip now.

[Mike] It does.

♪ I got three for the road ♪♪

Mike's seat is in my mouth.

[all laughing]

♪♪

[all chanting] Dude ranch! Dude ranch!

Dude ranch! Dude ranch!

♪♪