02x24 - Where's Ronnie?

[bunniefuu]

♪♪

[Ronnie] It was just a bunch of unfortunate events.

[Vinny] The relationship is toxic,

and it's insane staying in it.

I don't think he actually can show up,

because I think he's missing teeth.

Jen jumps off, we're all over it.

I don't even wanna be around him anymore.

Call Ronnie.

[three beeps]

Your call cannot be completed as dialed.

His number is disconnected.

Please try again later.

Oh, my God.

I don't even know if he's gonna be able to come to the wedding.

♪ Here I come ♪

Yeah, buddy!

Party's here!

The Situation is under construction.

This might not have been the best idea.

We're so classy now.

On the seventh day, it'll be lit.

Get the frick outta here, you crazy!

Uh, hello?

♪ Here I come ♪♪

♪♪

♪ Hold me like you're never gonna let me go ♪

♪ Tell me that you love me ♪ I can't.

Those are our babies right now.

How do you wanna do this bear thing with the girls?

I think we should hold it and say,

um, we have a present for you.

In order to accept the present,

will you please be the flower girl?

[chuckling] Yeah. Yeah. [laughing]

♪♪

[Nicole] Why don't you get your coloring book?

In the drawer right there.

You wanna color?

Uhh!

[Nicole grunts]

[doorbell clanging]

Oh! [doorbell rings]

[Nicole gasps]

We have a guest.

Special delivery!

[all] Hi! Hey, guys!

Gigi, look who's here!

[laughter]

[Nicole] Will you be flower girl in their wedding?

[Lauren laughs] Ohh! Girl...

Oh, my God, we're down a flower girl.

Are you gonna be a flower girl with Sissy?

[Lauren] Yes!

Oh, my God.

I'm so happy!Me too!

[overlapping chatter]

[Jenn] You accepted!

Thank you, bear.

[Laruen]Aww...

[laughter] Oh, my God, come on!

[Nicole] We accept. She'll do it?

Okay. Oh, yes, "we accept."

We accept your... We accept. Don't be mad.

[laughter]

[Mike] That's adorable!

[Mike] I'm so grateful

that they're part of the wedding.

It's so cool because I was not invited

to Nicole's wedding.

I was not invited to Jenni's wedding.

Five years ago, I was definitely not in a good situation.

So I didn't even speak to Nicole.

I really didn't speak to Jenni.

But now, not only are they a part of my wedding,

but their kids are flower girls.

And you can't script that [bleep] right there.

[Nicole] Say, "Thank you for my bear."

Are you good, Meilani?

All right. [Lauren, laughing] She's good.

♪♪

♪ Chock full of kickers ♪

♪ Dimes in my whipper ♪

♪ Briefcase full of cash, now I'm feeling chipper ♪

♪ Money on my radar, money, she know, she know ♪♪

[Vinny] Turn up. Ohh!

How's everything going, good?

Ah, everything's going... Stressed out for the wedding?

I'm a little nervous about this...

Dance?...this dance, though.

Have you been practicing or...

Well, listen, I just got a text from Ronnie.

Mm-hmm.Saying that, uh,

he's pulling a no-show today.

♪♪

I mean, I'm not shocked.

[chuckling] Yeah. He's been busy.

On TMZ.

Since the dude ranch,

[bleep] has really gone down with Ron.

I don't where he's been.

I texted him the rehearsal date...

Is he coming to that? ...as well as the dinner.

He didn't answer, I don't know.

This is typical behavior right now by Ronnie.

I mean, listen, I've had doubts,

you know, adding Ronnie to be my groomsman.

And this is a prime example why, you know?

Hey! Yo, you fellas getting your dance on or what?

What up, what up, what up? What up?

[overlapping chatter]

What up, kid? You guys getting your dance on?

We were just saying that Ronnie's not gonna come today.

Uh, whoa. Yeah, well, damn.

I'm not surprised at all, I'm just a little disappointed.

Hey, guys. Hey...

[Pauly D] It's very selfish of Ron

to be causing all this stress for Mike.

That's the last thing he needs on his wedding day.

This is the biggest day of his life.

[Mike] Time to turn this up a notch, fellas.

Yo, speaking of turning it up a notch,

let's do it to some dope music.

I got a song that might work. Same count.

All right. Let's do it. You guys ready?

[Lena] I wanna see you guys come alive.

[Pauly D] So there's some songs in this world

that are actually timeless.

They're actually like my go-to tracks

to get the crowd going.

You ready?

And one of those tracks is Rob Base "It Takes Two."

Hit it.

♪ The reason why, man, I don't know ♪

[Lena] Keep nodding your head.

All right, all right.

♪ It takes two to make a thing go right ♪

Bring it down the body.

Guys this already looks so much better.

[Pauly D] Not only am I the Prank w*r champion,

I'm the gift-giving champion.

So I wanted to make Mike's wedding epic...

Slower, slower.

[Pauly D] The guys don't know it yet,

but I got the man himself to come to the wedding.

Rob Base.

And close. Let's go!

It's gonna blow their mind.

♪ Wanna keep you in style, I got an idea ♪

Roll, and knee!

And knee! And double!

[Mike] Out of nowhere,

the squad is making progress right now.

There we go!

Body roll, neck. Body roll.

Two, three, four.

[Lena] k*lling, you guys! Yeah!

Pick it up! Ba! Ba! Ba!

That's right! Ba! Ba! Ba!

Walk around. Two.

[Mike] I'll be honest, I'm feeling a bit confident right now.

Okay, we're really starting to get this dance down.

We're really starting to get the steps.

Um, and I think we're gonna be able to pull this off.

[Lena] Nice! That's it!

♪ It takes two to make it out of sight ♪

[Lena] Two more!

Even if Ronnie doesn't show up for Mike,

it's all good-- we got this dance.

[Lena] Big finish! We got this on lock.

Boom! Uhh!

[Lena] Are you okay?

This dancin' stuff is dangerous.

[Mike] I'm sorry!

I'm sorry, I didn't mean it! I'm sorry!

♪♪

♪ Everything is all right now ♪

♪ Keep your eyes on the road ♪

♪ You know, you know it's me, Mary ♪

[Pauly D] I think we know that dance, though.

Yeah! I just needed that little refresher of today.

That's good, but now it's in my head,

so it'll be in my head all week.

[Vinny] You guys ready to go see Deena?

[Pauly D] This is a baby shower?

[Vinny, chuckling] Yeah.

Well, we didn't really have like a formal baby shower,

so this is cool. Yeah.

We can bring her gifts and stuff.

And nowadays they do the baby showers with the guys and the girls.

Yeah. Yep.

So much going on in everybody's life.

Mike getting married, Mike's court,

um, Ron and all that stuff.

We forget that one of our meatballs is about to have a meatball.

[Mike] I don't know what they're serving at this baby shower.

Yeah. Hope there's cookies.

[Mike] Yeah. [chuckling] Yeah.

[Deena] They all should be here soon.

I'm getting hungry.

Who's comin'? Everyone.

Do you know if Ronnie's comin'?

To be honest, I have no idea.

I know he is a hot mess right now, so...

I wouldn't be surprised if he's not coming.

I would expect him to at least come to Mike's wedding.

Yeah, he has to go to Mike's wedding.

[Mike] Hi, guys.

Who's this little princess?

Hey... What's up? You got me something?

Hellooo. Mwah!

Oh, great. Angelina's here.

Hi, little Sissy.

[Nicole] Behind, girls.

I'm Uncle Pauly D.

[all] Aww... Gigi!

[Deena] Hello!

Hi! Come in, come in!

Oh, you all came together! Oh, my God!

For Deena and Chris.

Deena and Chris! Come on, baby!

[Deena] All the roomies are here,

and I'm just so excited.

I'm like, "Yay, we're celebrating little CJ."

It just, you know, it warms my heart. I love it.

[Jenni] Sissy, come on. Let's go upstairs, get pizza.

[Nicole] Who wants a "pizzer"?

[Pauly D] Yeah, just take a plate and pass it.

Come on...

I'm supposed to be on a diet right now,

but this pizza right now is...

You could take the cheese off.

No, I can't-- [Deena] Don't be like Vinny.

Nah, I don't do that. That's a chooch.

You're not doing that?

You're not really gonna do that?

Of course.

I cannot stand the way my boyfriend eats pizza.

It should be against the law

to pull off just the toppings and not eat the crust.

I'm having this pizza because of Deena and Chris today.

[Vinny] Wow... Thank you.

Mike, come on, the wedding, couple days.

Terrible friend! Just enjoy it.

Mike, this is how it starts.

[all] Ohh...

[laughter]

Big Daddy Sitch is a sl*t!

For cheese pizza.

I love a good pizza this time a'year!

[Deena] I can't believe he'll be here in eight weeks.

Who, Ronnie? Oh h*! Oh.

[laughter and groans]

[Chris] You haven't spoken to Ronnie, though, right?

He texted me, said that he couldn't...

He couldn't make it today.

And Pauly, we had deductive reasonings.

And we thought, because he was obviously

getting his teeth fixed. Yeah.

[laughter] He has no teeth right now.

His girl knocked his [bleep] teeth out.

I love you, brother, but...

it's time to abort mission.

I did call him and ask him if he was even coming to the wedding,

and if he was, is he bringing Mrs. Taters?

[Angelina] What'd he say?

And he was just like,

"I'm not gonna subject her to that...

you know, bull[bleep] or whatever."

[Pauly D] Subjectherto that?

I thought he didn't want to subject us to that.

Yeah. [laughter]

Like, what a narcissist.

It's your [bleep] wedding, and he's worried about

us giving her a hard time?

"Subject her to this." Pardon.

I don't wanna be subjected to that.

She's in jail, and they're in...

I know. I believe...

What a warped reality that is.

Like, I don't wanna be subjected to you, period.

And then everybody tell-- tweeting us and stuff,

"You guys should help him."

How many times have we tried to help him?

[Nicole] Exactly.

We're the problem. I don't--

I'm just very confused.

He's making it like it happens when we're all together.

No, no, this all happened what's on Instagram.

Nobody aired it out but him.

There aren't enough cars in the world

that he could get dragged from to see how crazy

this relationship actually is.

He posted the whole videos.

You don't have to show everything on social media.

We don't want to be subjected to her drama at Mike's wedding.

It's backwards.

It's obvious that they're both--

if they get into a toxic relationship,

a toxic environment, it's fine.

I'm just worried for the baby. That's all.

After you give birth, obviously,

it's like a burning on fire down there.

Oh, wow. So you put like this diaper on because...

It's so raw.

It's because you bleed for so long, right?

I was told I'm gonna bleed for a while.

Wow.

Now I know why guys aren't typically at baby showers.

You got punched in the face.

You got dragged by the car.

Now your teeth are [bleep] up.

Like, leave this [bleep] girl.

That's it.

♪♪

I think we should cut the cake first.

Mike, shut up. [scattered laughter]

Thank you, guys.

[Pauly D] You're welcome.

[giggling]

Hiya!

[children screaming]

What are our kids doing?

Girls?!

[children laughing]

Oh, my God. What the hell?

They're throwing a party up there.

[Nicole] These are from all of us.

So this is a survival kit for you.

So all of us put in something that we thought,

you know, you could use for the baby.

[Jenni] For the mommies. Yes.

Ooh, a milk saver. "Save every drop."

I leaked everywhere. [men groaning]

I would be at the nail salon and then like...

I'd just leak all over my shirt.

[laughter, exclaiming]

Now that I understand it, this is really good.

Cooling cloths.

Oh, this is good for your breasts as well, right?

Yeah.No.

No, that's for your crotch.

Oh, really? [Jenni] You need those.

It saves your life.

I know these gifts are important because I'm a mom of two.

Your vag*na hurts, your boobs are leaking.

Like they're chapped because your kid's on 'em

and sucking the life out of 'em.

It's [bleep] not easy being a mom. Jesus.

So, after you give birth, obviously,

it's like a burning on fire down there

'cause you just pushed a baby out.Oh, wow.

So you put like this diaper on

because, you know, there's a lot of stuff going down there.

It's so raw. You put it on your diaper.

Oh, damn.

It's like-- it's like an ice pack for your vag*na.

You put it on your diaper? Yeah, you have a diaper.

They give you-- it's like a submarine sandwich.

It's because you bleed for so long, right?

I was told I'm gonna bleed for a while.

Wow. You can close your ears.

So you bleed a lot.

So then you wipe this on your vajay?

No, you put-- you put it in your diaper

and then it's like on your vag*na.

I don't know understand what's going on because

I'm the one that's usually gross.

All right, I [bleep] my pants.

[screaming]

But right now, everyone else is being a disgust.

I'm just like, wow, we have changed rules tonight.

How long do you wear a diaper for?

Depends on how bad you rip.

[men groaning] Ooh...

[overlapping chatter]

Oh, my God!

Learn something new every day.

[Vinny] The girls used to talk about their vaginas

in the Jersey Shore house,

and it was like, "This guy hit it right."

Now when the girls talk about their vaginas,

they're talking about it ripping open

from having babies.

In a weird way, it felt like a little man

knocking in my vag*na.

Now I know why guys aren't typically at baby showers.

[Nicole] Are you gonna look when she gives birth?

No. No?

He's gonna stand behind me.

I've already been told that-- to not look

'cause it's [bleep] disgusting.

[Jenni] We ruined Chris's vision on this birthing experience.

Now he's expecting like m*rder scenes

and like pooping on the table,

ice packs for the vag*na, chapped n*pples.

Poor kid's ruined.

Well, I think that cake is getting warm.

We have something else. We have one more thing.

[Nicole] We have one more present. That's from all of us.

Whoa!Whoa!

"To Deena, love, your roommates."

Oh, my God!

How stinky... For centering Chris.

Oh, I love this!

[Nicole] We got this little scrapbook.

And every page is dedicated to a roomie.

And we all did a nice message for Deena.

Cute things, you know, about our friendship.

So she's gonna love that 'cause she loves feelings.

[all] Aww!

"I think you are gonna be a wonderful mother

"and I also think your baby is gonna be the...

shortest baby on the planet."

Oh, my God. "Like you and Chris.

Oh, yeah, baby..." [indistinct]

[laughing] Aww!

"I can't wait for little CJ to meet his uncle Pauly D,

"the coolest uncle around.

Love you, Pauly D." [all] Aww...

[Deena] I love you. Welcome.

That was so cute.

[Vinny] I didn't even know this kid knew how to write.

What the hell? I know, how sweet, Pauly.

I'm good. That was so sweet.

My favorite present is the book the roomies made me,

just because it's like

the cutest book, and it had pictures of all of us

and pictures of me and Chris,

and pictures of the baby sonogram.

And this book I'm gonna keep forever.

"To my Deener and Chris,

"my meatball, my partner in crime,

"and one of my best friends, I am so excited for you

"to join the mommy club.

"Daddy would be so proud and always know

he is with you and your little meatball and family."

[tearful laugh]

I'm trying not to cry.

[laughing] I know. Stop!

[laughter] Just cry!

"Can't wait to meet my gorgeous nephew.

Love you forever, Nicole."

[all] Aww! Love it.

Reading all the beautiful things

that all the roomies wrote to me,

it shows like they love me as much as I love them.

And we really, really became brothers and sisters.

And I can't imagine my life without them.

Oh, look at this.

Oh, Ronnie. [laughing]

I mean, they're cute pictures.

[Angelina] Let me see.

[Nicole] Is it empty?

Wait a sec. Wait, wait wait.

What did Ronnie write? [Nicole] Oh, my God.

[Pauly D] What the [bleep]. It's fine.

♪♪

[Angelina] Oh, God. [Mike] Oh, God.

I thought he at least wrote somethin'.

I mean...

Um, even if he's not here, he could've wrote a letter.

He could have sent one in or done something,

you know what I mean? Um... but, he didn't.

[Vinny sighs] [Mike] That's crazy.

I'm happy he's not here.

♪ Follow, I follow the beat of my heart ♪

I'm so [bleep] over it.

♪ Go if you, go if you love me ♪

♪♪

[Mike] We are here.

[Vinny and Pauly] Damn!

It's happening. Wow!

Wow. Yup!

Somebody movin' on up. Look at this place!

Yo! Yes, sir!

It's like this, Mike? Yup.

This is the dopest venue I've ever seen in my life.

Jersey weddings are over the top,

but this place is over the top.

This is where it's going down, boys.

Yo, this is dope.

Today is the day.

This place is bougie.

Our final dance rehearsal.

And we need it to get this dance practice in

at the venue so we know our steps.

Yeah, it's different when you're actually in the spot.

Yeah, at the venue, exactly. This is crunch time.

[Mike] We need to know exactly

where the steps need to be, the size of the room.

We need to know what we're doing.

Where your boy Ronnie at?

I don't know, he's not here. That's your roommate.

[scoffs]I--

I guess MVP's doing the dance.

No, man, I thought he was gonna be here.

This is the most important time of Mike's life right now,

so it's a bummer that Mike is worrying about

what the hell Ronnie's doing, where he is.

Like, I hate that.

Maybe he'll show up when we're here.

Hopefully-- Yeah, but you can't do--

Even if he shows up, he can't do the dance...

He already missed one dance, yeah. ...without practicing.

Are we gonna have to exclude him?

♪♪

Bro, you can't include someone in a dance they don't know.

I know he's got a lot going on. To say the least.

[Vinny] Ronnie, I see him more on TMZ than I see him in person.

When I see him in person, I'm like,

"Wow, holy [bleep]. He's shorter than I remember."

[Lena] Hey, guys! Hey, Coach!

[Pauly D] Thank you for coming. My favorite dancers.

[Mike] Thank you. What's up?

[Vinny] Good to see you.

[Mike] Listen, deep down inside

it does upset me that Ron's not here.

[woman] I missed y'all. Hey, what's up?

What's up, what's up? We held it down without you.

'Cause it just shows that he's not taking this seriously.

We are down one groomsman,

so we may have to do it without him.

♪♪ All right.

If you girls were a group and you had a big day

to come up, right? And then you had a partner

that didn't practice for two times, what would you do?

[inhaling sharply] I don't know. I wouldn't be happy about it.

Would they be excluded?

'Cause I've excluded people from chicken cutlet night.

We about to eat good tonight, except for Angelina.

I don't care what you-- I don't care!

You're excluded.

[bleep]! I don't give a [bleep]!

Run it through with him real quick? All right.

Yo... [laughing] Yo, wait a second!

Yo! [Vinny laughing]

Um, yo, check this out, though, for real. Like...

[whispering] If Ron doesn't come,

we can't stress this guy out about it. No.

We got this, either way.

Like, you and I, we're killin' this dance.

We are on Ron-page watch...

Yeah, on Ron-page watch. ...for the wedding.

I mean, it sucks so bad that we trusted Ronnie

to come through for Mike on his wedding day

and he didn't do that for him.

He's family, you know what I mean?

Your family lets you down sometimes, and he let us down.

See, that's how it should be, three people in there.

It looks good like that.Mm-hmm.

So, right, left, right, left, go first.

[Vinny] I have to hold it together

so I'm tryin' to keep my best game face on,

get through this,

and worry about Ronnie's stuff later.

Got a lot of practicing to do.

Yeah. And unfortunately,

it would be a lot to add another person in this, so...

[clicks tongue] I don't know.

I really don't. I don't know. I'm good with that.

I at least hope Ronnie shows up

to the actual wedding rehearsal because, come on!

This is the wed-ding! Mike's wedding!

M! V! P!

[all] Dance squad! Turn up!

Everybody loves dancin' this time a'year.

♪ Whoa-oh-oh-oh-oh ♪

♪♪

Oh, yeah! Bro, you even bring--

This is too fancy right here! You even bring that here? Stop that.

Now we are at the wedding rehearsal at the castle,

How you doin'?

Seeing both families together is really nice.

What's up, my guy? How are you, man?

I feel like I'm at my family wedding.

Good to see you. Thanks for coming.

It's like Uncle Nino is gonna pop out

around the corner drinkin' wine.

But, um... please don't. [chuckles]

Nice place, Laurens. This place is so dope. Right?

You impressed? It's huge!

Almost makes me want to get married. Nah, I changed my mind.

[laughter]

Excuse me. Hi, everyone, how are you?

[overlapping greetings]

I'm Meena, for those of you who I haven't met.

I'm the wedding planner. I'm gonna be

bossing you around for the next few days.

Let's head over to the ceremony spot. Okay.

Everybody's here except for Ronnie.

Finally get to do something as a couple, you know? Yeah.

I mean, like, "Have you seen Ronnie?"

Like, Ronnie, where are you?

This wasn't much like our wedding.

Yo, you could fit our chapel in the bathroom.

By the power vested in my shaky left leg,

I pronounce both of you brother and brother.

Mike's mom's there. Lauren's mom's there.

Everybody's here. At this point,

I don't think Ron's even going to show.

♪♪

[Ronnie] Yeah, you know, it's been a crazy couple days.

And with the way [bleep] has been happening lately,

I don't even feel like I want to be here,

you know what I mean? Because it's like,

you're just making jokes about my relationship,

or just like this and that.

But, this is very important to Mike,

and I really don't want to mess it up for him.

♪♪

[Meena] All right, so, do you know

what the rules are of your suits,

your phones, all of those things?

No idea. No gum chewing.

You're going to be having your top button buttoned.

Phones will be off.

This is like wedding etiquette.

But usually when you go down in pairs, the guy...

So when you walk down, you don't want to walk down too fast...

The ladies will take your arm, and you walk them down...

You want to walk down slow enough...

Outside of the doors...

Nothing in your pockets.

We don't want any bulges anywhere, right?

Damn, Meena! I'm used to going to weddings,

banging a bridesmaid, and going home.

This is not that. This is a lot of work.

Wedding walk-throughs are not fun.

Pretty easy. And then the officiant takes over.

We have-- the stage is gonna be set up over here

where the actual ceremony will be taking place.

♪♪

We'll stage you guys outside of the doors.

I'll cue you when you have to go, when you go...

♪♪

Are you guys excited? [overlapping assent]

It's exciting! It's an exciting time.

You have lots of good things happening.

[Mike] Oh, damn! [Meena] Hello.

What's up, guys? [Mike] Oh, look who it is.

Ronald Johnsons.

How are you?

♪♪

[Vinny] Because we see everything on social media,

it's super awkward around Ronnie.

You good, on your end? Yeah, I'm chillin'. Yeah, I'm good on my end.

All right. I'm good. I'm good.

How you been, good? Good.

He doesn't want to talk about it.

[whistles] So this dinner is going to be awkward.

♪♪

Are you guys excited? [overlapping assent]

Oh, look who it is.

[mimics scratching] Record scratch.

Oh, damn! Awkward!

♪♪

[Ronnie] Hi.

I'm trying to keep my game face on to hold it together.

My sister. Nice to meet you.

Nephews. What's up, brother-man?

[Vinny] This is not the time and the place

to be like, "Ronnie, where ya been?"

and make a big thing about Ronnie.

Finally made it. I was sitting in traffic...

Oh, man. ...for an hour and minutes.

Ronnie, get in here. Get to your [bleep] place.

Let's do this for Mike and handle your [bleep] later.

This is another best man. It's the wedding coordinator.

Hi, I'm Meena. Hi.

I'm the wedding planner, in case you didn't know.

I'm gonna be bossing you around for the next few days.

Perfect. Not too much.

Another person. That's great.Yeah.

[laughter] Yeah, you know.

Just add on to your list, your mom, your girlfriend,

anybody else. All right, good, great.

Right.Okay, love it.

All right. Okay, so let's go outside and line up.

I really feel like I'm not missing much right now.

What am I, like five minutes late?

[Meena] So let's line everybody up.

Pauly, Ronnie, Vinny, don't walk with your arms crossed.

Perfect. Don't do that.

All right, so you go.

I walk in.

They show us what to do, and we walk right out.

[Vinny] Chooch. [chuckles]

[Ronnie] It's kinda like,

"I could've YouTubed that [bleep], actually."

[Pauly D] ♪ Here comes the bride ♪ [whistling]

Nice ring there, honey.

[officiant] All right, the vows.

Michael, you repeat after me first, okay?

And I'll be holding her hand the whole time?

Yes.Okay.

Don't look at me. [laughing]

It's getting really real right now.

[officiant] Repeat after me?

Yeah. Just gonna repeat after me.

I've been dreaming of marrying my best friend

for years now, and it's finally happening.

♪♪

The other left. Oh.

[laughter]

Dude, I'm just getting tingles just speakin' about it, man,

'cause this [bleep] real.

Then the pronouncement of you as husband and wife.

You can kiss the bride, you can practice that too.

Mmm! [laughing]

[men] Ooh!

I'm tellin' her dad.

[Meena] All right, get up everybody.

Clap your hands!

[cheers and applause]

[Pauly D] This is the lockdown before he gets locked up.

It's just a little blip in life.

He has a lot to come home to, so that's a positive.

Thank you guys for coming. Let's go eat.

[Mike] Let's go. Okay.

♪♪

That was a success. It was.

So, honey, we're all going to the restaurant now? Yeah.

We'll just meet you there. We'll just meet you there.

♪♪

[Vinny] Because we see everything on social media,

it's super awkward when we have to act totally normal

around Ronnie after his [bleep]show meltdown

that he had two days ago.

♪♪

[Pauly D] Ronnie has been MIA, missing.

We haven't been able to talk to him, now here's our chance

to see what's going on and what the status is.

[sighs]

This [bleep] is hard. I don't know how to do this.

I don't know what I can say to him.

[sighs] Yo, where you been, my guy?

What happened? Where you been?

Where I've been? Missed the rehearsal.

I know. Well, not really. I was here early, but...

No, the dance. The dance. Oh, the dance.

Yeah, bro, I just couldn't make it. Yeah, we went to--

Yesterday we practiced. Today.

[bleep], it's all changed now.

They threw dates at me a week ago, so it's kinda like,

I already had prior engagements, so...

You know? So, I mean...

[Pauly D] We had these dates for the whole year.

I-I feel kinda like messed up that

Ronnie's saying this [bleep]. It's like lies.

You know, but I had prior engagements to that

that I couldn't miss to just dance around.

Apologize, you know what I mean, bro? It's...

[sighs]

♪♪

You're good, though? What?

You good, on your end? Yeah, I'm chillin'. Yeah, I'm good on my end.

All right. All right, I'm good. How you been, good?

Good. Chillin'?

Chillin' and killin'? No?

[Pauly D] This Instagram Live has been a movie.

This is the... the elephant in the room.

Why would you not want to talk about it?

This is the reason why you weren't here,

they reason why you don't talk to anybody.

He doesn't want to talk about it.

We just wanted to check on you, Ron.

Yeah, no, we just wanted to check on you,

see why you wasn't here for the dance or whatever. No, I appreciate it, guys.

That's all. Yeah. Appreciate you guys always worrying about me.

You know? I'm good, though.

But it's about Mike. Let's go have some dinner.

Yes. And make it about Laurens and Mike.

Let's do it. Ready?Mm-hmm.

[Pauly D, whistles] This dinner is going to be awkward!

♪ Hey, hold up ♪

What a venue that is, though, I got to say.

That is the most amazing place I've ever seen.

[Vinny] Hopefully you can do this dance, kid, 'cause...

[Ronnie] I got the dance down. Been watchin' the video, kid.

Yo, straight up, the dance is mad different.

We'll have to show you. Tomorrow, right?

[clanging] Yeah.

♪♪

Get you some apple juice in a wine glass, 'cause it's fancy.

Oh, hey, Angeliner.

Hey.

Is Ronnie coming tonight?

I just hope he doesn't bring negative vibes.

Yo, I don't get why they have a rehearsal dinner.

Mike don't need to rehearse how to eat.

Hell, no. He got that [bleep].

He knows how to do that.

Now, is this dinner about Mike and Lauren,

or is this dinner about

what I posted on Instagram the other day? [chuckles]

That's the real question.

Oh, boy.

♪♪

[Angelina] But, I mean I wonder if he's coming today,

and like what's gonna happen if he does come.

[Chris L.] Right here.

Oh, my God, what-- Speak of the devil.

Hey!

Hello. How are you?

[Deena]Hi! I didn't know if you were coming.

Yeah, of course.

I'm at the rehearsal dinner.Hey.

Hi, Deena. Hi, CJ. Hello.

[Deena] I think we're downstairs.

♪♪

You guys see Ronnie?

Oh, yeah! She just said that. [laughing]

Ha, ha, ha. I get it.

Here we go again.

How's it been? [Pauly D] It has been interesting.

Been a long day. [Angelina] What's going on--

What's going on? Where'd he go?

[Deena] Look, he's like in the corner by himself.

[Pauly D] Not havin' it. He's so skinny now.

[Angelina] He looks weird. His eyes look weird.

Ronnie, his body is withering away

in this relationship. It's [bleep] scary.

[Pauly D] Oh, will you look who it is? There they are!

[Nicole] The happy couple! Will you look who it is?

Hey! Whoa! Look at Lauren!

It's the "fianciers."

Hi! Thank you. Beautiful!

The bride and the grooms is here.

The bride and the grooms is here. Hi!

The bride and the grooms is here. You look so pretty!

The bride and the grooms is here. How are you?

Yo, the bride and the grooms is here!

The bride and the grooms is here!

The bride and the grooms is here!

Let's eat! I'm hungry!

Vinny! The bride and the grooms is here!

The bride and the grooms is here.

Pretty soon, husband and wife...

is here. [chuckles]

This restaurant screamed, "Living your best life."

Yeah, we start here. What is this, the appetizer area?

Big Daddy Sitch needs to fit into his tux.

You got the pasta? Yeah.

Slice of pizza, button my pants.

Slider, button my pants.

Mike...

Cheese Alfredos...

Oh, is that pastas?

I love my fettuccines.

Can I have a diet soda?

Can I have a diet soda when you get a chance?

[slurps]

Can I have another diet soda, please?

Oh, hell yeah! This is where it's at.

At this particular point, it's over.

Thanks, babe. What a lush.

Yo, P, when you got your teeth done,

you shaved them down, right?

And then they gave you the fake ones?

I-- [bleep]. Mine's cracked.

Let me see. I've been seeing--

I'm hearing rumors about this.

Yeah, they're cracked. They're cracked.

Been hearing rumors about this.

Yeah, it looks worse on-- on-- Ow.

on the computer. Yeah?

Doesn't make sense to me.

These teeth don't crack well. What, are you chewing rocks?

Oh. Did you see it?

[Chris] Yeah.

What, this? I didn't.

I didn't either.

I have no words. Like, I don't know what to say.

Did you get somebody to do 'em yet?

He started them. Gave me the temporaries,

and I cracked the temporaries.Damn.

Oh, this isn't our food?

It is now. This isn't our food?

Oh, damn. Oh, [bleep].

Oh, damn. [waiter continues indistinctly]

Oh, my God, I'm eating someone else's food right now.

Oh, my God.

That's funny, but still.

I gotta get outta here.

[chuckling]

Oh, my God.

♪♪

Didn't he go to the dance thing?

He didn't, he just showed up at the rehearsal.

He rehearsed the walking-- the walking down the aisle. Yeah.

But not-- not the dance. How do you feel about it?

I mean, listen, he's obviously got

a lot of [bleep] going on. I mean... I-- honestly--

He's obviously got a lot-- Listen, you have enough time

to where if you guys wanted to make the decision

to remove him, it's, like, now.

♪♪

[Mike] Like, damn. Chris rarely speaks.

You know [bleep] is really bad when Deena's Chris comes in

and says "listen, you might have to exclude Ron."

I mean, it's now or never.

[overlapping chatter]

Calm down. No, I think--

What we talk about at home, don't say here.

[laughing]

[Mike] Tonight I'm just gonna let it be.

[Deena] No, it's all positive tonight.

Yeah, all positive. No, I'm just-- Positive vibes.

This is Lauren's night. And Mike.

Everybody come to the big room.

[Deena laughing]

[Mike] Oh, my God!

[Nicole] Is there assigned seats?

You can sit anywhere?

[Mike] Sit wherever you guys want.

♪♪

Well, this worked out.

Yeah. [laughing]

Whoa, thank you, Jesus.

Hey, you're our age. Good-- good group.

[Nicole] I'm not complaining about my table right now.

I'm at the grown-up table,

and the other table is the hot mess table.

So, wait, did he come to the-- the dance?

Nope. Oh, so he's not part of that, then.

He still thinks he is.

Oh, he still thinks he is part of it?

[Pauly D] No idea.

At this point, it's just starting to feel

like everyone is against me.

So wait, does he even know the moves?

The old ones.

[Ronnie] It's like, if these people

don't wanna be my friends, then that's their problem.

[indistinct chatter]

Angelina!

Oh, I'm sorry. What?

Um, he wanted me to interrupt

and ask you guys if you have a wedding date yet.

Not yet. No.

Angelina, I'm sorry, she didn't hear.

When was the date? We didn't pick one out yet.

Next year? Uh, couple more years.

[all laughing]

[Chris L.] Still gettin' to know her.

[Pauly D] This is the longest engagement of my lifetime.

Ron, I have to ask you a question.

Don't do it. I have to ask you a question.

He's like, "don't do it." I don't know. I don't know what it is.

[Angelina] Is Jen here too? [Ronnie] Yeah.

♪♪

Big Daddy Sitch has his ears to the streets.

Jen's here. The one that just gave Ronnie a black eye,

the one that just dragged Ronnie from a vehicle,

the one that just demanded,

not $k, but $k.

Are we speaking about the same Jen?

What is that? [Pauly D] What in the world?

Oh, damn.

Angeliners and Chris, do you guys start to get

a little bit of the itch now that you're actually at wedding festivities?

Well, Angelina's been having an itch her whole life, though.

[Mike laughing]

[Pauly D] We love Rails this time a'year.

This is the best day of my life.

Whew, I'm full! I can't fit in my wedding dress now.

[glass clinking]

I just wanted to thank everyone for coming.

Uh, both of our families are here.

The friends that are here are also family.

[Ronnie] Family? Yeah, right.

We're very, very proud and grateful

that you guys are a part of this.

[Ronnie] It's Mike's wedding,

but I don't even feel like I wanna be here.

And we're so excited to be Mr. and Mrs. Sorrentino.

There will come a time

when I have a conversation, really soon.

♪ Feel like I'm drownin' ♪

♪♪

Bye, guys.

[Pauly D] The bride and the grooms is here!

You're like, "oh, this girl punched me in the face,"

but then you were with her the next day.

You got punched in the face, you got dragged by the car,

now your teeth are [bleep] up, how much more can you take?

Regardless of who, what, when, where, and why,

like, leave this [bleep] girl, that's it.

♪♪

Oh, Keto guido!

He don't live with his mother no more!

Oh, my God, shut up.

I'm here!

♪♪

[Pauly D] We have our last dance practice,

and we have to catch Ronnie up to speed, he's been missing.

Babe? Oh, you just walking in now?

Wanna make sure there's no [bleep] in here.

Make sure there's no dudes up in the crib.

You worried about this dance or no?

I've been practicing a little bit.

Oh, good. You know what I'm saying?

Wanna get into it. Nothing too serious.

Well, I was gonna show you...

something, um... What do you gotta show me?

[laughing] Bro!

I'm not, like, extra... What a chooch!

Yo, I'm not doing anything extra.

You're a chooch!

Oh, just because I lined up mirrors

and turned my living room into a dance studio-- Bro, this is--

you took every mirror in the house.

[laughing] It's the weirdest thing.

I just want-- No, like, you were a chooch before,

but you're a chooch now.

Chooch-chooch!

[laughing]

One two, three four,

fix six, seven eight.

One two, three four...

♪♪

One two, three four...

♪♪

I feel like I'm walking in as the target.

Yo, where you been, my guy?

Missed the rehearsal. I had prior engagements to that

that I couldn't miss to just dance around.

[Ronnie] Everyone's like, "Oh my God,

"oh my God, oh my God, Ronnie didn't come to dance rehearsal"?

What the [bleep]?

You good, though? What?

You good? On your end? Yeah, I'm good on my end.

You guys are worried about how's Ronnie doing?

I should be the least of anybody's concerns.

You got Mike who's getting married and going to jail,

Jenni going through a divorce,

but how's Ronnie doing?

I don't wanna open up my life and tell my whole truth

when I feel like the butt of everyone's jokes.

So, Ron, you been on social media lately?

[laughter]

Secaucus! Ha, that's funny.

Ronnie's pregnant. He knocked up Jen again.

Pull the [bleep] out!

What the [bleep] is wrong with you? [laughter]

That's not real friendship.

That's, like, some [bleep] fake [bleep].

I've reached my breaking point.

I'm done. That's real talk.

Three, four-- yo. Hey, what up, though?

[Vinny] Welcome to the dance studio. What up, though?

Where you coming from? Secaucus?

[laughing]

♪♪

[clears throat]

Oh, my God, this is t*rture right now.

I honestly don't wanna ask Ronnie what's going on.

[sighing] Okay...

We need to get him through this dance routine

and worry about Ronnie's stuff later,

because I do not wanna embarrass Mike.

All right, come on. Do it again?

A'ight, so Mike's not-- More dance lessons.

Mike's definitely not coming?

I don't know. I don't think so.

All right, well, I might as well do this now.

I just-- I wanna make sure Mike's not coming because

this is supposed to be about him,

and his week and, you know,

and it always seems like

somehow it always becomes about me.

Lately, as I've been talking less

and been, like-- been less outgoing.

Mm-hmm. And it's personally because

I feel like I've just become

the butt of the jokes of everybody.

And it's like, at the end of the day,

I get it, but it's still my real life.

And it's just-- I'm at a point where

I'm the only one really being myself.

Wait, what?

You know? Out of everybody.

That [bleep] bothers me a lot.

I-- if me being myself is gonna become a joke, you know what I mean,

then it's like I don't wanna be myself.

And then I feel like I can't turn to you guys,

you know, and I can't be open with you guys,

so I have to make up lies and say certain things

because I feel like I'm just not connecting

with you guys anymore.

[Pauly D] I'm sitting here, like, listening.

I'm just nodding him to death.

I'm like, oh, that's interesting.

This wasn't the talk I thought you were gonna give us.

I thought he was gonna say, "yo, I lied" or whatever

when he lied about the black eye in Secaucus.

Instead he wants to point about

what I did or what Vinny did.

Are you kidding me?

We're all family, and we're all friends.

But at the same time, it doesn't feel like that

when we're together sometimes.

♪♪

I-- if me being myself is gonna become a joke,

you know what I mean, then it's like

I don't wanna be myself.

Ronnie's trying to give us, like, a bit of a guilt trip

on something that I don't feel guilty about.

You guys have known me for ten years.

He's talking about as if we have issues.

No, we're trying to be talking about your relationship

where he's getting physically abused.

Did I do something to Pauly? Did I do something to you?

[Pauly D] He's got, like, black eyes, scratches,

missing teeth from his baby mama,

and he's still trying to tell us what we did wrong.

The reality of the situation I don't think is ever a joke.

I think we make jokes, and you make jokes,

you know what I'm saying-- Of course, and make light--

People make jokes in life.

Some things are, like, are funny.

But jokes do come up because of, like,

it-- it ends up being, like, you know, comedy.

Like, you know what I'm saying? And...

Ronnie makes jokes about Ronnie.

No, I'm good, thank you. I like french fries.

[all gasping]

Have you ever seen a cheater on a cheetah?

[laughter]

You're setting everyone up to make jokes about you.

And now he's like, "oh, no, I don't trust you

'cause you're talking about me."

Like, bro, what do you expect to happen?

You know, we've all tried to help you

with, um... I know, it just f--

...with the lawyers and all that stuff, you know what I mean?

It just feels like it's not genuine.

I feel like everybody waits till we get together

to say something or show concern.

And it's just like, I feel like I--

I need it to be genuine from you guys.

What the [bleep] do you mean?

Like, I reach out to you all the time.

We have plans to hang out all the time.

He never follows through.

Y-- you're like, "oh, this girl punched me in the face,"

but then you were with her the next day.

I don't kn-- I don't-- and I'm like, okay, he's fine.

So I'm not gonna reach out at that point.

I'm like, yo, Ron, you good?

He's like, "yeah, I'm good. Why, what's up?"

Ronnie talks about everything

but him in a toxic relationship.

He, like, danced around that [bleep].

I can't respect that.

That's your family or whatever it is.

I don't know. No, of course, I understand.

What happens behind closed doors--

I'm the one that gave you the advice

to not put it on social, you chose to put it on social.

It's gonna bite you in the a*s.

Yeah, of course. It's gonna bite you in the a*s badly.

No, I-I understand that.

The-- there's nothing that I can do to tell you

to stop doing that 'cause you're gonna keep doing it.

Matter of fact, tomorrow you'll do it.

So I don't know how to help that person,

so that's why I can't help anymore.

Every single thing that Ron's baby mama does to him

is a sign to run away, but he doesn't.

A punch, you didn't run away. Extortion, you didn't run away.

Dragged with the car, you didn't run away.

Run away! You can't love somebody that much.

Th-- that's not love. That's sick, is what that is.

You got punched in the face, you got dragged by the car,

now your teeth are [bleep] up--

No, that's a dentist-- I don't know.

But every single time, you got a new physical injury.

How much more can you take?

You're physically getting your a*s kicked.

Enough is enough. I'm out.

Regardless of who, what, when, where, and why,

like, leave this [bleep] girl, that's it.

♪♪