02x27 - The Hitch-uation (Part 2)

[bunniefuu]

Congratulations. You may kiss your bride.

[cheering and applause]

[Nicole] Oh, she's coming, Jenni.

Who's coming? Jen, I think.

♪♪

[Jenni] Shut up! What the...

It's happening. It's gonna be a [bleep] show.

[man] Ladies and gentlemen, it is my honor

to present to you for the first time...

Oh, God. Ohh.

The drinks are flowing, Jen's here, and it's like

a perfect recipe for like a beautiful disaster.

It's time to make a grand entrance, honey.

[cheering and applause]

♪♪

Yeah, buddy!

Party's here!

The Situation is under construction.

This might not have been the best idea.

We're so classy now.

On the seventh day, it'll be lit.

Get the frig outta here, you crazy!

Uh, hello?!

♪♪

♪♪

[Meena] All right. Ready, guys?

[man] Giovanna!

Ladies and gentlemen, it is my honor to present to you

for the first time,

Mr. and Mrs. Michael and Lauren Sorrentino!

[cheering and applause]

♪♪

[Jenni] Mike and Lauren look so beautiful.

Their coming out, their first dance,

it's so Italian.

I feel like I'm a mobster being here and hanging out with them.

I love it.

[man] And now, you two, you're gonna have

your first official dance together as husband and wife.

We're gonna give you the dance floor all to yourselves.

♪Come on, meet in the middle ♪

♪ You're an angel ♪

♪ Or a devil ♪

Mike and Lauren look gorgeous.

I'm about to cry because they look like

they're dancing on a cloud. I love it.

♪ I can't tell 'cause hell burns brighter ♪

♪ Heaven and hell, they will collide in time ♪

♪Heaven and hell, they divide... ♪

[Vinny] Yo, I told Ronnie not to hit his vape pen in here.

[laughter]

[coughing]

[coughs] Where's my baby?

I can't really pay attention to Mike and Lauren's dance

because there's a ton of smoke and my kid is, like, three feet tall

and she's getting lost in it.

[Ronnie coughing]

[Vinny] Looks like Ronnie's bathroom.

What the... It's like so much...

Fire! Fire! Fire!

Oh, no, smoke machine. Sorry, guys.

Yo, this dance-- [coughing]

This dance is-- dance is nice.

[man] And now we're gonna ask everyone around the room

to, please, grab someone special,

and we're gonna share this dance number

with our new husband and wife.

How happy does this couple look right now?

Smiling, dancing, everything is perfect.

I'm talking about Ron and Jen, of course.

[Pauly and Vinny laugh]

[Pauly D] Man, dance floor is lit!

For Jen to come here and look like she's having fun,

maybe it cost K.

Maybe it's K an appearance.

Love wins.Yeah.

[both laughing]

♪♪

Nicole!

Do you want my pasta?

There is levels to this dinner, and I'm full.

I need a break.

I know. You ready for it?I guess.

I wrote mine in my phone so I don't have to remember it.

You really remembered yours? I'm trying to.

I'm having so much fun right now at this wedding,

but I'm getting a little nervous.

We got like speeches to do. We have a dance to do.

Oh, what do you want a shot of? Uh, I'll do tequila.

Can I get some of that, um, coconut Ciroc chilled in a shot?

We're tryin' to loosen up.

We got speeches to do. Dances to do and [bleep].

Wait till you see this dance we got.

♪♪

[coughs] I'm drunk.

[man] It's gonna be my pleasure to bring up Larry now,

as I turn the microphone over to the father of our bride.

Mike, I'd like to be the first one to officially

welcome you to our family.

In fact, I'm so happy for the occasion,

that I even wore my GTL T-shirt under this tux.

[laughter]

Yeah, buddy!

[laughter]

Larry, turn up!

But seriously, your kindness and love for Lauren

is extraordinary and truly what every father

hopes for their child to find.

[man] And it's gonna be my pleasure to bring up

Ronnie, Vinny, and Pauly.

I am gonna turn the microphone over.

So you guys are going up together, the three of you.

We got it. But one at a time.

One at a time. Yeah, we'll handle it.

Okay? We got you.

We won't ever let you look bad.

You k*lled this, by the way.

Don't let it droop down. No one will hear you.

Got it. Put it right up to your mouth.

Thanks for the heads-up. Uh, like this?

I got you now, Mike.

[Mike and Ronnie laugh]

Oh, Jesus.

Oh, God, he's gonna roast him.

[Nicole] What's happening? Oh, my God.

Oh, God, Ron's gonna roast Mike.

Oh, my God. Here we go.

We have had more downs than ups.

I didn't like you.

You know, you were not a good person.

Oh, my God, please don't embarrass us.

Sorry, Mike.

Yo! Yo!

I'm a bit nervous right now.

The whole night has been perfect thus far.

Ronnie's got the mic right now, okay?

All right, Mike.

It can all go south.

[record scratch sound effect]

♪♪

[Jenni] Oh...

The first night at Bed when you left, Ron-- oh, sorry!

Wrong note! Wrong note! I apologize, I apologize.

"The first night at Bed when you left,

"Ron made out with two girls and put his head

in between a c*ck waitress's breasts."

[Vinny] Wrong speech.

But seriously, it is an honor to be here.

I actually never thought I'd be involved

in any special day of yours that didn't involve Karma or Bamboo.

But it is a pleasure and an honor to be here

and be a part of this special day

for the beginning of your life and long journey together.

I've known you for ten years.

You're my family. You're my brother.

And you really are an inspiration to me.

You know, with mine and Mike's relationship years ago,

you would never think that Ronnie would be giving

a best-man's speech at Mike's wedding.

It's none of your business, bro. Oh, my God.

You guys fight every second! What do you want me to do?

You never help yourself. You need help.

Lauren helps you now. Facts!

You got nothing, bro!

End of [bleep] story! Bottom line!

It's a big moment for me and Mike.

...and everybody here to show that there is positive

in the world and that everybody can change for the better,

and I love you every day more and more.

Thank you, brother.

[cheering and applause]

♪♪

It is unbelievable. Myself and Ron have had

so many fights in the past.

We've really come full circle. It's... it's amazing.

Yeah! [Nicole] Good job!

[cheering and applause]

I kind of feel bad for the guys.

Like I have comedy experience.

I've done stand-up in front of hundreds of people.

So I'm gonna k*ll this speech.

There comes a very special moment in life...

where everything just makes sense,

the universe aligns, and you realize

that true love really does exist.

And one day, that moment happened for Mike.

Aww.

He was just sitting there. He opened his eyes.

And there she was.

The wedding cake.

[laughing]

It's really good. You guys should try it later.

I mean like I put major thought into my speech.

I studied it. I-I memorized it.

I practiced like real comedic timing.

That dance studio that you saw was not just for dancing.

I was practicing my speech in front of all those mirrors too.

This wedding is so Italian.

You know, when Mike proposed, he got down on one knee.

He pulled out the ring. He put it between his fingers,

and he said, "Lauren, will you marry me?"

[laughter]

All I want in life is somebody to look at me

the way Mike looks at a food menu.

Oh, my God. Please sit down.

Stop, you're not-- This isn't your comedy stage.

So embarrassing.

I've done stand-up comedy before.

[voice slowed, pitched down] I've done stand-up comedy before.

[Vinny] You guys should see the party favors.

On the way out, everybody is getting a horse's head.

[laughter]

I'm here all night.

I knew she was gonna say yes,

because a real Italian wife never folds under questioning.

I can't.

Oh, thanks, honey.

Okay, put the tongue in your mouth.

[laughing] I can't!

Listen, we need to get ready for the dance.

I dance better when I'm lit.

Yo, I'm wasted.

...but for you, no, we're getting lit for you.

I was worried about Ron the whole time.

I gotta practice my body rolls, hold on!

[laughter]

But at the end of the day,

I gotta worry about Pauly and Vinny.

[both shouting indistinctly]

[sighs] Risky situation.

[both shouting indistinctly]

Tonight might not end well.

♪♪

I knew she was gonna say yes, because a real Italian wife

never folds under questioning.

I'm here all night.

Oh, my God. Is he serious right now?

What the hell?

Bro... like chill out. Like what the [bleep]?

Oh, my God!

Nah, but seriously, guys, um,

I can't think of a more amazing couple.

Me and Mike have a favorite quote.

"A smooth sea never made a skilled sailor."

And through love, perseverance, and strength,

you guys have weathered every storm possible.

And as Mike would say, now you are the storm.

And there's nothing that can stop you guys. Hey!

Yes!

I love you guys. Congratulations.

[cheering and applause]

I couldn't have asked for a better speech, honestly.

Thank you. Thank you. Nailed it.

Gettin' a little emotional up here right now, damn.

Mike, listen, I'm not very good at speeches,

but I'm gonna speak from the heart right now.

There's a couple things that I strongly believe in.

One of them is that God puts people in our life for a reason.

So I sit back and I think.

Why did he put you in my life?

You and I were the first to walk into that house.

What up, homie? What's up, man? Paul.

What's up? Mike. Nice to meet you.

Nice to meet you.

We share the same birthday.

[all] Happy birthday!

We both lived by that same lifestyle--

gym, tanning, laundry. It's a way of life.

We didn't write that [bleep]. We just did it.

You know what I mean? [laughter]

But honestly, Mike, you taught me so much.

You taught me how to be a strong man mentally,

because I've seen you overcome some things

that I never seen anybody in my life overcome.

And now also you taught me some things physically.

And what I mean by that is, I saw you damn near

put your head through a concrete wall in Italy.

You wanna [bleep]-- Stop!

[bleep]! Stop it!

And you survived that [bleep].

That's some-- That's a strong man right there.

So I appreciate you for that.

You know what I'm sayin'?

We've been through so much together, it's unreal.

Like we met as perfect strangers.

Now here we are ten years later.

Mike completely rehabilitated himself.

Now he's married. I mean, Mike is a changed person.

He's a new man, so I'm proud of him.

You're such a caring and giving man, Mike.

You would give the shirt off your back for a friend in need,

and it's about time somebody gave back to you.

And I believe God gave back to you.

He gave you Laurens. Yes!

You found your perfect match. A woman that completes you.

Lauren, you stuck by him through his good times,

his bad times, his hard times, his fun times.

You're his soul mate.

And when I met you, Lauren, for the first time,

I knew right away that you were the one for Mike.

I saw exactly what he saw in you instantly.

That pure heart.

It's very hard to find. Believe me.

I'm looking. I can't find it.

Trust me, there's not many out there.

I'm single.

But I knew right away you were the one for Mike.

So I wish you two the best.

And I feel like I'm part of your family right now.

Congratulations, guys.

[Mike] The whole night is perfect.

These speeches are perfect.

The best men look perfect.

And, um, I love these guys.

Oh, my God. All the speeches were amazing.

These [bleep] guys brought their [bleep] A-game.

They did. All of them. All of them.

Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

Speeches reflect the man that I am

and the relationship that I have with those best men.

R... S...

V... P!

[together] Wedding squad!

Yeah, buddy!

Oh, [bleep]! What up, fellas?

Ohh! [laughter]

Stupid!

[laughter]

Yo, my boyfriend! Welcome to Las Vegas!

Come check this place out, bro.

Mike, what are you gonna eat tonight? Striped bass?

[laughter]

Holy [bleep], it's hot out here.

Vegas. This ain't Jersey Shore.

[overlapping shouting]

Hello? Mom?! I need you to come pick me up!

Hello?! I'm gonna have to call you back.

W-We shall revisit this. We shall.

These guys are my squad,

my brothers, and I love these guys.

Good job! Ahh!

I've been looking for you. Yo, yo, yo.

That [bleep] speech was [bleep] fire, dude.

♪♪

[laughter]

I dance better when I'm lit. Come on.

Yo, I'm wasted.

...but for you, no, we're getting lit for you.

Vinny and Pauly was just wasted.

[both shouting indistinctly]

[laughs]

What are you talking about?

Ask him. [Deena] Oh, my God.

Uncle Nino has to come in and stir the pot.

♪♪

One is the engagement ring, the wedding ring,

and the suffer-ing!

[laughter]

[Vinny] All right.

♪ I roll the dice ♪

♪ Yeah, I bet on love many times ♪

♪ But this time I'll get it right ♪

♪ Right, right, r-r-right ♪

♪ Oh, oh ♪

Gonna sleep good tonight.

♪ Your love, your love ♪

♪ Feel like a millionaire ♪

She wants the bragiole.

♪♪

Oh, I'm not sure. Waiting for the cue.

Do you wanna go change now, my dear? I think you should.

Yeah. Okay.

[Vinny] Anybody not want vodka?

Vodka's good? Vodka good?

Vodka, vodka. Vodka, vodka?

So the speech is over. We're about to do our performance.

So I'm trying to like find that sweet spot of drinking

where it's like this is going to help me and not hurt me.

Oh, thanks, honey.

Okay, put the tongue in your mouth!

I can't!

I love Vinny to death, but he's drunk and a lot.

Everybody, on three, "[bleep] Angelina" on three.

One, two-- Are you [bleep]-- Are you serious right now?

Oh, my God. I mean, listen.

When you are drunk, the truth comes out.

He literally is obsessed.

Angelina trying to have sex with me.

Angelina is trying to have sex with me.

Shut the [bleep] up. Oh, sorry.

♪ Just another morning in my life ♪

♪ Seven missed calls ♪

The photos I got in the bridal, like, salon,

do not do this dress justice.

[Nicole] Did you see this dress yet?

No. You're gonna die.

Lauren showed us her reception dress at Castle Couture.

It's literally just like all rhinestoned out,

and gorgeous, it's very Italian.

k*lled it!

So this dress is my favorite.

♪♪

♪ Good for, good for ♪♪

Oh, Laurens! Look at Laurens!

Oh, she looks so hot. Where's Mike?

Does he see her?

[Jenni] He's at the bottom, waiting.

[Mike] My wife just came out--

Ah, that's so crazy I'm saying that.

My wife just came out with her second dress.

Do you like my outfit?

Fire!

And she looks absolutely stunning.

Oh! I love this dress.

Oh, I love it so much. How are you guys?

[Nicole] This b*tch looks stunning.

Mike is gonna want to make a baby tonight.

Make a baby tonight. Oh, my God.

We made love last night. He told me!

Swear to God, I was feeling either myself ovulating all morning...

Stop!

It's happening. I feel it.

[Meena] Ronnie, I need you guys to go change.

Where's Pauly and Vinny?

[Vinny] Cheers.

You're an a*s[bleep].

[overlapping shouting]

[Mike] It is game time.

I am more nervous about the dance than the ceremony.

Vinny, I need you to go change. No.

Right now. Meena, no!

Let's go. We're going. Meena, no!

We're going! Time to go. Meena!

Meena, how's your night going? AMC.

Listen. We gotta go.

They're wasted.Yeah.

Yeah, we're gonna have to keep this together.

Talk about a high pressure situation.

[Mike] Oh, my God. Right now, it is madness, chaos.

These guys are lit as [bleep],

but I'm still hoping we can pull this off.

I dance better when I'm lit. Come on.

Nope, I can't. I'm too drunk.

Come on, let's go. I'm wasted.

...but for you, no, we're getting lit for you.

Yo. Seriously.

Guys, I need you changing right now.

Okay. Okay?

Everything off! Get into your--Whoo!

Get into your outfits. Meena, throw me those single girls for me.

I don't need to see.

Vinny and Pauly were just wasted.

I've never seen them so drunk before.

[bleep]!

Bro, stop being a diva, bro. Wait, no, no.

[chuckling] Oh, [bleep].

[Pauly D] Mike, can you tell all the guests to come back tomorrow?

'Cause I can't perform. I'm too lit.

I got a surprise for you, fellas.

Yo, look what I got, fellas.

[all] Ohh!

That's me! I'm Pauly D!

Wait.

[Pauly D] Holy [bleep].

These tracksuits are perfect.

They're just enough over the top as this wedding.

[Ronnie] Chooch suits! Chooch suits!

Yo, in case-- in case I get lost, you know where to put me.

♪ Here we go ♪

[woman] Who's this?

♪♪

Actually, everyone seems fantastic today.

Everyone's having a good time and it's a really good night.

[coughing]

I don't know if this door works.

Is that cheating or no?

[laughing]

She's taking off the shawl. She's in the bikini.

Oh, my God! She's getting in!

Wait, what?

[Deena] Oh, my God.

Everything was going great, and now, Uncle Nino

has to come in and stir the pot.

It's fake news.

What are you talking about?

He loves you!

Okay, well--

He [bleep] loves you!

[Deena] He better be careful.

I feel like friggin' Jen is gonna come after Uncle Nino.

You hear me, Jen? You hear me?

He's a dynamite kid! Leave him the [bleep] alone!

♪ Oh darling, have you ever felt your blood run cold? ♪

[Deena] Uncle Nino definitely has been hittin' the wine.

♪♪

Ahh, nice.

[Deena] He will say anything.

And we know Jen can go off the deep end, so I'm scared.

What are you talking about?

Ask him.

Leave him alone, 'cause he loves you!

Tonight might not end well.

Can you imagine the tabloids?

I mean, she literally might k*ll everyone.

[Deena] Oh, my God. This is stressful.

I wish I could have a glass of wine right now.

Ah, [bleep] you.

[Deena] Sometimes you just don't understand what Uncle Nino says.

"Stop beating him up!" I'm like, oh, my God.

All right.

Is there a mute button?

Away from you.

[laughs]

I feel like if Jen wasn't mad at Ron now,

she might be after this.

[Nino]Oh!

Leave it Uncle Nino.

[laughing]

[Meena] Guys, come on! Get changed!

[Mike] All right, I'm going to change.

Oh, damn!

I'm too drunk to perform. [Mike laughing]

Yo, we can do the performance tomorrow?

[Ronnie] Now when I mess up, it's not as bad.

[laughter]

Hey! Take those cameras off of me!

I ate carbs!

[Mike] I am a little worried.

It's almost game time and Pauly and Vinny are lit as [bleep].

I gotta practice my body rolls! Hold on!

[laughter]

[Ronnie] Hey, do it, bro.

[Ronnie chuckling]

Bro, I'm practicing my [bleep] body rolls!

[Ronnie] They were both worried about me messing up.

[laughing]

Vinny, get dressed! Let's go!

Vinny, stop being a [bleep] chooch!

Meena, do you have a dictionary? I'm not seeing this.

Because if you have a dictionary, look up the word "chooch."

This guy here is a [bleep] chooch. Excuse my language.

♪♪

[Pauly D] Bro, if you look up "chooch,"

there's a picture of you doing the roll.

[bell dings]

[Meena] Okay, well...

[Pauly D] We should boom this 'cause I have no mic.

Yo, Google "Vinny Guadagnino Off-Broadway play" right now.

[Lauren] Where is Mike?

Where is Mike? Does anyone know?

Oh, maybe he went to the bathroom.

It's magic. Of course, of course.

It's so crazy. I'm trying to find Mike.

Congrats... Thank you.

No one knows where Mike is.

Hi! Hi!

Sure, go get your shoes on. I have shoes?

Shoes in the other room. [Ronnie] Yeah, dude, you see 'em?

Bro, they're sick! There's a surprise.

Oh, these are so sick! Look at this!

I'm Italian!

[laughing]

[Pauly D] Yo, those are epic.

And I'm wearing them for the rest of my life.

They're just enough over the top as this wedding.

I am Italian.Are you? Dude, are you Italian?

Yeah, so I have Italian shoes. That makes sense.

If you turn 'em around, they're Mexican.

[laughter]

I was worried about Ron the whole time.

Meena, I'm not gonna lie... this was an amazing ceremony.

But at the end of the day, I gotta worry about Pauly and Vinny.

I told you! I told you! I'm wearing the same thing in my Off-Broadway play!

[laughter] See? Off-Broadway play!

Bro, this guy's a [bleep] chooch!

Oh, I'm not gonna lie! Look up "chooch"!

He comes up too! He comes up too!

Louie! Yo, Joey!

What's goin' on, Louie?

Hey! Forget about it! Hey!

I haven't seen you in so long! Joey Bag O' Donuts!

Forget about it! What are you doin' over here?!

You still doin' your fist pump?

I'm doin' my fist pump, but now I'm doing--

Are you still doing your push-ups?

I'm doing my push-ups.

Are you still doing your ChapStick?

Of course! I have it right here!

You got your ChapStick, bro?

You got your [indistinct]? [laughing]

Yo, do I got enough ChapStick on, Louie?

Dude, do I have enough ChapStick on, Tony?

Let's [bleep] go! [both shouting indistinctly]

You're gonna get all the girls!

I'm gonna [bleep] fist pump till my [bleep] arm falls off!

Fist pump like this, Louie!

[shouting indistinctly]

FPC! Fist pump, push-up, ChapStick!

Fist pump, push-up, ChapStick!

[both] Fist pump, push-up, ChapStick!

Fist pump, push-up, ChapStick!

Need a lot of ChapStick, bro.

Where's the [bleep] ChapStick?!

Eeeh! That's what I'm talkin' about, Tony!

Push-- the, uh, what?

Fist pump, push-up, ChapStick!

Fist pump, push-up...

[sighs] Risky situation.

Hyuh! Hyuh! Fist pump, push-up, ChapStick!

Fist pump, push-up, ChapStick!

Where's the [bleep] ChapStick?

[all grunting rhythmically]

Jump! Jump!

Oh, [bleep].

So I get a text right now

from my boy Rob Base.

He is here, so it's time to set this plan into motion.

Appreciate you coming, man.

It's about to be lit right now with you here.

Yeah, I'm ready.

[Pauly D] I can't believe it's all coming together.

We're about to perform.

Stop it!

♪♪

[Pauly D] Hey, let's [bleep] do it!

Fist pump, push-up, ChapStick!

Where's the [bleep] ChapStick?

[grunting indistinctly]

Fist pump, push-up, ChapStick!

Fist pump... Yo, dude. Push--

The, uh, what?

[Ronnie giggling]

What's going on?

Do the fist pump! Aw, damn!

What's going on?

[overlapping chatter]

[bleep].

We've been practicing. We were practicing today.

Yo, I got the [bleep] down, hot!

It's time to perform,

and it's time to rise to the occasion.

Yo, guys, I'll be right back. Don't worry about it.

I'll be right back.

Oh, [bleep]. Yo, what up?

Oh, [bleep]. Come with me, come with me.

What happened? Come with me, come with me.

[Pauly D] Rob Base just texted me.

♪ Let me tell you how I waited all week for you ♪

♪ To take it off and lay it on me, I see ♪

♪ I see, you'll see, you'll see ♪

♪ Hit it ♪

♪ The situation that the Base is in ♪

♪ I'm kinda stingy that's why I don't wanna lend ♪

♪ A funky rhyme to a foe or a good friend ♪

♪ But listen up 'cause I want you to comprehend ♪

♪ One, two, three, get loose now ♪

I'm gonna go talk with him, holler at him,

I'ma bring him... keep him occupied.

All right. Okay?

All right.

Let's go. Oh, sh**t.

I'm finna holler at this fool right now.

Don't mess that dance up, though. Bro!

♪♪

Yeah, there's my guy. Yo, Rob! What up?

Look, we got the suits on.

Yo, we really appreciate you coming, man.

It's about to be be lit right now with you here.

I'm ready, I'm ready. Let's do this, man.

Yo, we're so ready to do this right now, bro. We're hyped up.

He has the swag, he even has the track suit on himself.

He knew what party he was coming to.

No one knows you're coming, all right?

All right. You are our secret weapon right now.

Cool. You about to make the whole wedding.

All right, let's do it. So what I feel like we're gonna do

is Mike's gonna give a speech,

'cause he thinks we're gonna dance just to your track.

Okay.You know what I'm saying?

He have no idea you're coming.

[Mike] Yo, where'd the fellas go, man?

Uh, we should wait and go get some desserts.

Oh, sh**t. We'll get some desserts.

Hostess!Hostess with the mostest!

I'm gonna rip the mic from him, and I'm gonna be like,

"Yo, check this out. We don't dance to no regular track.

We do nothing small. We do everything big here."

Okay. "So I brought the man himself, the legend."

The real thing! The real deal!

"I got the homey Rob Base in the building right now!"

All right. Then I'm like, "Rob, come out, man!"

They're gonna-- they're gonna go nuts.

Yo, they had Drake's Coffee Cakes before [bleep] in the thing.

Damn!

And then when you start, that's when we go.

Everybody's gonna be lit. You know your song's epic.

I wanna see the moves. I gotta see the moves.

Best party anthem of all time, bro.

Yes. Okay?

And we're gonna get the right-- Let's do it.

We're gonna keep you by the side, though.

Okay. And then when you hear me call you out,

that's when you come out.Got it.

You're an honorary Guido tonight.

All right. Dude, you know what I'm saying?

Know what I'm sayin'?! [laughing]

Yeah! Let's do it.

I can't believe we pulled this off.

Yes, sir. How you guys doing?

Yo, what up? What's going on?

I've been waiting for this. It's like finally it's here.

[all grunting rhythmically]

Jump! Jump!

Hit it twice. One, two.

Dang.Come on. All right.

Come on, guys. We gotta go.

Should we stop to get a cupcake?

[Meena laughing] No cupcakes.

♪ It's goin' down tonight ♪

Big Daddy Sitch never gets nervous,

but I'ma tell you right now, I'm getting a little nervous.

Come on.

...please turn their attention

to the center of the dance floor!

This was my idea, but let's keep it real.

I don't always have good ideas.

♪ It's going down tonight ♪

♪ Don't stop till the music stops ♪

[Nicole] Oh, my God.

Oh, my God. Stop it!

♪ It's going down tonight ♪♪

♪♪

[man] So we're gonna ask everyone to please turn their attention

to the center of the dance floor!

♪♪

[cheering and applause]

[Vinny] Thank you.

Oh, my God! Stop it!

Thank you, thank you.

All those rehearsals, all that practicing...

Oh, oh, oh! Hey, oh, okay!

[laughter]

[all] Six, seven, eight.

Guys, this already looks so much better.

That's it!

...was for this moment.

We got this on lock.

h*! Hey, what's up, guys?

What is happening?

Can I please get the bride to the front of the stage?

Lauren!

Yeah! Lauren!

Right here, honey.

Just stay right there.

Lauren, we love you.

[Vinny] I'm prepared, but at the same time,

I might be too drunk to do an eight-count.

I asked some of these guys right hereto be my best men.

I asked them, I said, "Listen, I wanna do something special

"for my bride.

And I wanna do a groomsman dance."

Oh, my God! Okay?

So we decided on the song, Rob Base, "It Takes Two"!

I'm about to enhance that mood for this dance

and bring out the big surprise.

Sit down and relax, 'cause we about to turn it up.

Hold on, hold on, hold on one second.

I'm not gonna dance to no regular track.

I just won't do it.

Oh, [bleep]. Oh, damn.

I mean, listen, like, what is the Prank w*r Champion

DJ Pauly D planning right now?

This is New Jersey. You know how we do it.

You're a special lady.

So tonight, we're doing it real big!

Tonight, we don't dance to no track!

Okay? Come out here, my dude!

We doin' it real big!

"It Takes Two"! Rob Base his self!

Yeah! Yeah, buddy!

[Mike] No [bleep] way.

Are you serious?

Come on, everybody, and gather round!

We have a party in here!

[Jenni] Rob Base.

Like I am so freakin' impressed.

[Rob Base] Yo, DJ, let's go, let's go!

Let's go!

♪♪

Come on! Everybody, let's sing the song!

♪ It takes two to make a thing go right ♪

I wanna hear y'all sing the song!

♪♪

I'm definitely the captain of this dance team right now.

All the guys are gonna depend on me,

so I have to deliver.

That's it! One, two, three, four,

five, six, seven, eight!

And I [bleep] up.

But I don't think the crowd really noticed it.

[Vinny] One, two, three, four!

This is embarrassing.

First one to mess up: Vinny!

Five, six, seven, eight!

One, two, three, four!

It was almost like Vinny missed practice and I didn't.

♪♪

♪ I wanna rock right now ♪

♪ I'm Rob Base and I came to get down ♪

♪ I'm not internationally known ♪

♪But I'm known to rock a microphone ♪

♪ Because I get stupid, I mean outrageous ♪

♪ Stay away from me if you're contagious ♪

♪ 'Cause I'm the winner, no, I'm not a loser... ♪

We're laughing so hard, my baby bump is hurting.

Like, what is this? Like, what's happening?

♪ So let's go, 'cause... ♪

♪♪

♪ It takes two to make a thing go right ♪

[Rob] Whoo! Let me hear you guys sing the song.

♪ It takes two to make it out of sight ♪

♪♪

[Vinny] We're freestyle dancers.

We don't really, you know, choreograph our dances.

You know, we're used to being drunk.

♪♪

♪ My name is Rob, I got a real funky concept ♪

♪ Listen up, 'cause I'm gonna keep you in step ♪

♪ I got an idea that I... ♪

Doing our own freestyle is what we're used to.

You know what I mean? We're in the club

and we're drinkin' and like everyone makes a circle.

That's what, like, Guidos do.

♪ Bold and black but I won't protect ♪

♪ All of my followers 'cause all I want is respect ♪

♪ I'm not a doctor, put them in rapture ♪

♪ A slick brother that can easy outfox ya ♪

♪ 'Cause I'm Rob, the last name Base, yeah ♪

♪ And on the mike, I'm known to be the freshest ♪

♪ So let's start... ♪

Who said Guidos don't know how to dance?

♪ ...I don't need a bodyguard ♪

♪ I won't fess, wear a bulletproof vest ♪

♪ Don't smoke buddha, can't stand sess, yes ♪

♪ It takes two to make a thing go right ♪

♪♪

♪ It takes two to make it out of sight ♪

♪♪

I mean, they're not "Dancing With the Stars,"

but that's a hard thing to do if you're not a dancer.

The boys are actually k*lling it.

And I think the alcohol helped.

♪♪

[Rob] ♪ , , , get loose now ♪♪

Whoo!

[Rob] Yeah! Congratulations, y'all!

♪♪

[hip-hop song playing]

[Pauly D] This dance performance went well.

Like, I can't believe we pulled it off.

I can't believe we were in sync even for like two seconds.

♪♪

[Pauly D] Like, who would have thought four Guidos

could put together a choreographed dance?

♪♪

[Mike] My mind is blown right now

how well this wedding went off.

The Hitchuation was a total success.

Come on, sing along!

♪♪

Pump it up, pump it up!

♪♪

Pump it up, pump it up!

[cheering and applause]

♪♪

Yeah!

Ladies and gentlemen, Rob Base!

[cheering and applause]

♪♪

♪ Tonight ♪

♪ I'm dancin' like you're savin' my life ♪

[shutter clicking]

♪ I'm celebrating bein' alive ♪

♪I get lost in an ocean of lights ♪

♪ All the way ♪

♪ Every day, living for myself ♪

♪ Tonight ♪

♪ Every day, living for the moment ♪

[Mike] This wedding is so amazing.

There was guests in a castle.

There was dancers.

[Nicole] Oh, my God, there's strippers.

Why is she spread eagle at a wedding?

We had a ceremony.

Congratulations, you may kiss your bride.

We had a reception.

Mr. and Mrs. Michael and Lauren Sorrentino!

We had a dance.

[Deena] Oh, my God!

[Mike] And now there's only one last thing on my mind, okay?

I would like to thank everyone for coming out tonight,

and, uh, we wanna open up the dessert areas right now.

We're about to live our best life, so...

[cheering and applause] Let's go.

Bon appétit, b*tches.

[laughing]

♪♪

In an Italian wedding, you need to have every aspect

of the foods covered, and you better believe

dessert better be there as well.

[Mike] The dessert hour is called

the Venetian hour, I believe?

Oh, [bleep]. Oh, damn.

[man] On this side, we have fresh, homemade crepes.

Chocolate fountain, waffle station with a sundae bar.

Whew!

Where are the crepes?

[woman] There, it's right there.

♪♪

Ice cream sandwiches.

Oh, wow.

You have cookies. We got the chocolate cake.

We have a cotton candy station.

We have funfetti cake. Yes, we have funfetti cake.

Hashtag Wedding Goals.

♪♪

Yo, is there any way we can get an iso on me eating this?

This is the best day of my life.

Yo!

♪♪

Congratulations. Thank you.

You nailed this [bleep], bro. Thank you.

We couldn't have did it without you. You guys are crazy.

Could she stick her a*s in the fountain?

Ah, he said no. It's too classy.

Wait till our wedding. Our wedding's gonna be asses everywhere.

To be here at Mike's wedding is like amazing.

This makes me wanna get married.

Me and Chris are at a really good place.

But, yeah, we'll see what happens in the future.

Hopefully, you know, things will be okay.

You know?

♪ You think you're stronger ♪

♪ And I'll just burn brighter ♪

[Deena] This wedding was like

my last hurrah before becoming a mom.

And seeing everyone with all their kids

just makes me feel so excited.

You know, I'm just ready to have a family now.

♪♪

[Ronnie] Mike and Laurens look like

the two happiest people in the world.

I realize, like, that's what I want: to be happy.

And so I gotta change my patterns,

I need to start doing different things

that are gonna be better for me,

eternally, physically, mentally.

Because [bleep]'s not working.

♪♪

♪ I can feel it in my bones ♪

♪ This light moving through me ♪

I'm definitely going through something right now.

Divorce and all that drama, it's just hard. It is.

But I have my roommates' support.

I'm so thankful for that.

♪♪

Yo! Bring the beat up!

[Pauly D] It's like surreal to me that we're still here doing it.

We started all single, no kids,

and now half of us married, half of us have kids.

It's dope that we're still family.

I feel like we're always gonna remember this moment.

I feel like any time like we dance like this,

and we beat up the beat, it's just like we haven't aged.

We're still at Karma, k*lling it on the dance floor.

♪♪

And now we're at Mike's wedding.

My daughter's beating up the beat with us.

♪♪

[Deena] Is it raining?

♪♪

I mean, what more can you ask for?

It was perfect.

♪♪

♪ Ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ♪

This journey that we've all taken together

has been incredible.

♪ Next time ♪

♪ Will we meet again ♪

♪ How do we know ♪

[Vinny] We are a force, you know what I mean?

We're a tight family. We stick together.

And we make sure that we have each other's backs.

And, uh, we love each other. It's like a genuine love.

♪♪

♪ We won the race, everything's great ♪

We just couldn't believe that a day could go that perfect.

In a couple months, I have to do my time

and pay my debt to society.

My days is numbered right now.

Some people focus on the negative,

but Big Daddy Sitch focuses on positivity.

♪♪

[laughing]

There's somethin' special about everyone under one roof

celebrating my big day today.

It's like a fairy tale, it really is.

[squeals and laughs]

♪ ...the day we're set free ♪

♪ At the end of the day we're set free ♪♪

[Vinny] We had no idea what these next couple months would be like.

[Pauly] Last moments before he goes to prison.

This is not right.

[Nicole] What's going on?

I feel like Ron and Jen.

Ugh... I'm sorry, boo.

[Vinny] Oh, my God.

You have to be kidding me.

[woman] Office retreat center.

I think I finally realized I need help.

♪♪