07x02 - She Was Such a Hater

[bunniefuu]

[♪ upbeat music playing]

♪ It's the man, yeah ♪

[Kim Kardashian]
Previously, on The Kardashians...

♪ Here comes the life ♪

Hi!

We're back, and we're refreshed.

[director] Action!

[Kim] I'm acting, but also producing
a Ryan Murphy TV show.

I am terrified out of my [bleep] mind.

[Kourtney] We're doing Lemme Play.

We're using Julia Fox

-in the campaign.
-Stop.

Does Kimberly know?

Julia Fox dated Kanye
after Kim and Kanye broke up.

I think I might move back to New York.

-Shut up.
-[Scott] Yeah.

I don't want to be super negative,

but Kim and Khloé's outfits right now,

like, I've moved on from that era.

She doesn't want to be judged,

but all she does is judge other people.

Wasn't gonna drink tonight,
but I'm gonna have a double.

[Khloé] Is Bob here? Bobby!

One person that isn't here
should be here to say goodbye

with us to this house...

[♪ dramatic music playing]

This is gonna be good.

-[♪ intense music swells]
-[all] Hello.

[Caitlyn] What's going on?

[♪ dramatic music playing]

[♪ "life is good" by Tim Halperin
and jumpseat playing]

♪ Life is good, life is great ♪

♪ Yeah, we're gonna celebrate ♪

♪ Blow a kiss to the sun ♪

♪ Hang back, let the moment last ♪

♪ Life is good, life is great ♪

♪ Yeah, we're gonna celebrate ♪

♪ Everything is as it should be ♪

[Kris] Your dad and I bought this house

-for you guys many years ago...
-Christmas.

...and I think one person isn't here

that should be here to say goodbye
with us to this house.

♪ Life is ♪

♪ Life is good ♪

-[♪ music stops abruptly]
-There she is.

[♪ upbeat music resumes]

[group] Hello!

Hi.

[Khloé] I was not expecting this tonight.

I'm just waiting for another ex-husband
to walk through the door.

Welcome, welcome!

Come join so we can say goodbye
to this beautiful house

where we've made so many great memories.

What's going on?

-[Kris laughing]
-[Kendall] We're saying goodbye.

We're saying goodbye to the house.

I was just saying that
we bought this house

for Kendall and Kylie
and all the kids to grow up in,

and we were, like, so excited

-to make so many magical memories.
-[Caitlyn] That is so true.

[voice breaking] About an hour ago,

I called Caitlyn,

and I said, "What are you doing?"

And of course she said, "I'm eating dinner
and watching Fox News."

I said, "Of course you are."

And I said, "Would you like
to come say goodbye

to Eldorado Meadow with us
and be with your kids?"

And, um, she said, "I'm on my way."

We fixed it up and, yeah, it's beautiful.

It wouldn't be the same
saying goodbye without you

because you were here
to help make those memories.

-Was I here?
-You were here.

[Kris] Yep, you were here.

It's only right for Caitlyn
to be here tonight, too,

because she actually was part
of all those amazing memories.

It wasn't just my house, it was our house.

We're here to give this off
to another beautiful family,

to make beautiful memories.

-[Caitlyn] Well, I just--
-[Kim] Do you know who bought it?

[Caitlyn] I just want to make
a statement that--

[Kim] Did someone buy it?

-I don't--
-[Caitlyn] That...

...I bought it!

Yes, I'm gonna keep it in the family.

I bought the house.

-It's mine now. Okay?
-[laughing] Oh, my God.

-Really?
-I don't know, it's a great idea.

-[Caitlyn] Isn't that a great idea?
-[Kris] Yeah.

-Can we have dinner here?
-Just kidding.

Gosh, I couldn't afford this house if--

-if you had paid me.
-[Kris] Oh.

No, I'm-- I'm not in that market anymore.

-That was a good one.
-[Caitlyn] Yes. Well, yeah. Yeah.

Oh, my God. Well, thanks for having us.

-[Caitlyn] Well, yes, anytime, right?
-Yeah. Okay.

I got the good china out for you.

-[Kris] Okay. Quick prayer.
-[Kendall laughing]

I definitely wasn't expecting
my dad to be here,

just knowing the relationship
that my mom has with my dad.

Not that it's bad, it's just distant.

I think my mom's had
a hard time inviting my dad

to some of our family gatherings
in the past.

So, it makes me happy that

Kylie and I didn't have to ask
for my dad to be invited

and that my mom just thought
it was a good idea, regardless.

I don't know if my parents will ever be

best friends again,

but this is definitely a great first step.

Alright, prayer, prayer.

Dear Heavenly Father,

thank you so much
for this amazing evening,

and first and foremost, we come to you...

[voice breaking] with gratitude and love
and thankfulness for this house,

these amazing memories
that we've made here.

Just all the things
that you've allowed us to do.

This was one of the biggest blessings
I could have ever imagined

when we first got this house.

And what I wish for my family
today is great happiness,

great peace, great joy,
great forgiveness, great love,

and just all being together
for as long as we live.

And in Jesus' name, we pray.

[all] Amen.

[applauding]

-[Kris] Yay.
-[Caitlyn] Hey!

Thank you for coming.

Means the world, I know, to the girls.

-Should we get a plate?
-And there's food.

Oh, there's actually-- We're gonna eat?

[♪ upbeat music playing]

-Good to see ya.
-Hello.

-Good to see ya.
-Nice to see you.

-Hi, baby.
-Hi.

[Caitlyn] Rob.

-[Kylie] Hi, Dad.
-Hi.

I just came because I could see you guys.

-Aw, I love you.
-Yeah. Yeah.

I'm happy that you came. You want food?

-What's that?
-You want some food?

Let's do it.

[Khloé] Mom, that was really big of you,

and I'm shocked you did that.

But that was very nice.

This felt like the right thing to do,

and it felt like
the right thing to do for her

and for Kendall and Kylie.

Well, that's growth for you.

I think so.

I know so.

For my mom to invite Caitlyn over here,

when I know how hard that is for her.

This was someone she was
married to for 25 years.

And I remember being in that back room

with all of my siblings watching
the Diane Sawyer interview,

realizing for the very first time...

Are you a woman?

Um... yes.

For all intents and purposes,
I am a woman.

..."Oh, you're transitioning."

Were you fair to these women you married?

No, I wasn't as fair
as I should have been.

They didn't have a good relationship

for years after their divorce.

Things were said,

weaponizing some situations
to make my mom look a way

that just wasn't truthful.

The Vanity Fair article k*lled me.

-What did I say?
-Are you kidding?

And the fact that my mom can put
all of that behind her,

or on pause for a second,

it's really, really big of her.

It just felt right.

I'm very proud of you.

[Caitlyn] Things haven't changed,
Kourtney's first in line.

Yep, first child, first in line.

It's nice that we can all be here together

and that my brother is here.

[producer] You all have your own...

individual relationships with him right?

[Kourtney] Him and Khloé are
a little incestual.

-We're cool?
-I'm happy.

You're happy, good.

Him and Kim are like

the husband and wife that hate each other.

-You're an [bleep].
-Yeah. You'd scream about it.

-[Kim] You're so immature...
-Yeah. 'Cause I said-- Right.

...that you don't know when you're wrong,
and you don't know when to apologize.

And then Rob and I,
we were super close friends

at one point where, like,
we would always go out together.

We would, like, hold hands,
just have so much fun together.

And I love having him around.

[Kris] How was your house with the fire?

[Caitlyn] It was a million miles away.

[Kris] Did you have to evacuate?

No. I'm not leaving my house,

even if the fire's
at the bottom of the hill.

Oh, what are you gonna do?

Sit there with a hose?

Never mind, don't answer that.
I already know the answer. Yeah, you are.

My house is not gonna burn.

[Kendall] I have to compartmentalize
my relationship with my dad in a way,

because I love her.

She's my dad.

Like, we have a good relationship.

But sometimes I get frustrated
with her with certain things,

'cause we just have completely
different views on things.

But, other than that,
I always want to include her.

You know, I know she doesn't have a lot
outside of her family,

and I think that she gets lonely.

You don't ever want anyone
to be sad, especially your dad,

and someone you love and care about.

So, at the end of the day,
it's really nice to have her around.

I have a complete
firefighting system at my house.

I'm prepared.

I got Nomex suits on, I got helmets,

I got gas masks, I got everything.

I got all my hoses pulled.

[Kim] I do see Caitlyn,
I talk to her all the time.

For her 75th birthday, I wrote her a card,

um, that just said,

"Because of you and everything
that you have taught me,

"I feel so blessed.

"For all the carpool rides,

"driving me to school every single day,

"and all of the conversations
on those car rides.

"I am who I am today because of you.

"I think it helped shape who I am

and why I'm successful today,
and I'm grateful for that."

Have you gotten boots
that are good for snakes yet?

-I need to find her, like, snake boots.
-What's that?

So, you know like she can step...

into plants and not...

get bit.

I have them at my house,
they can't penetrate it.

-[Khloé] Ooh, penetrate.
-Penetration.

-Wait, can we do one thing really quick?
-Double penetration.

Can we just go around the table quickly

and just everybody say
what their favorite memory here is.

[Caitlyn] Hmm. Huh.

Do you want to start, mom?

-Since you called it.
-[Rob/Caitlyn] Hmm.

Okay.

My favorite memory of this house

is Christmas morning 2008.

-When--
-[Khloé] Like you know the year.

[Rob] You had this planned.

[Kris] We-- No, I didn't, I swear.
I just know the year.

But Christmas morning 2008,
when we got to come over

and surprise everybody
that we bought the house

and that was the Christmas present,

and everybody was screaming
and running through the house.

You guys were so excited about it.

[Kourtney] We shot
the Lady Marmalade video here.

-We did.
-Oh, we did!

♪ When we're together ♪

♪ Nothin' we can't do ♪

-[Kim] Kourt, down the stairs...
-[Kourtney] Yeah.

[Kim] ...down the spiral stairs.
They're gone.

I was coming down those stairs over there.

My green dress.

It's our last opportunity to finish it.

[Kourtney] Should we finish it tonight?

All three of us graduated
high school here...

-Oh yeah!
-[laughter]

-...on the same day, which--
-[Kris] Remember the surprise graduation?

Which says a lot about
my education system, but...

♪ Together just keeps gettin' better ♪

♪ And the sun is gonna shine on through ♪

I have so many baby memories here.

-[Kendall] Mm.
-[Kylie] Mm-hmm.

[Kim] I had Saint here.

I just have lots of good memories
with my friends.

I was thinking the same thing.

Like smoking marijuana in the backyard.

[♪ upbeat music dwindles]

-[Caitlyn] Great.
-[Kris] What? Kylie!

I just have lots of good memories
with my friends.

I was thinking the same thing.

Like smoking marijuana in the backyard.

[Caitlyn] That's great.

Kylie!

Kris Jenner definitely got more relaxed

the more children she had.

Like, by the time I came around.

I was definitely afraid of her
and respected her,

but I could get away with a lot.

-These were like formative--
-[Rob] That's when we were like

-12 years old.
-Yeah.

-Formative teenage years were happening.
-Formative?

Smoking weed in the backyard is formative?

Kylie had, like, smoked weed before me.

Shocker.

And I remember I was so mad at her.

I was like, "You're a degenerate."

Kendall was very hard on me growing up.

She was such a hater.

[Kendall] I think it was
'cause I was jealous.

[laughs] I think I was jealous
that I didn't have as much,

like, free spirit as her at the time.

And then, I eventually smoked with them,
and I had the best time ever.

And then, everything was great.

We were doing a lot
behind your guys' back.

Like I said, years of discovery for us.

Yeah.

Wow.

I had sex in a few of these rooms.

-[Kendall] With who?
-[Kylie] That's exciting.

Yeah, thank you, Kylie,
just be supportive.

-I am supportive. I'm curious actually.
-I love that.

[Rob] I mean, Lamar was one of them.

What happened?

I just remember being here when...

When we had sex?

What?

[laughter]

As sad as it is to get rid of this house,

just think about, like, everything
that we've all accomplished

and everything that we've worked
so hard for to start here,

and to branch off and do
our individual things,

and have our individual taste.

Just being in this house
with all of us here,

Rob, Caitlyn, like all of us,

we just couldn't ask for a better night.

It was like old times.

♪ Woo, la la la la la la la la ♪

♪ Got the feel good, feel good feeling ♪

♪ La la la la la la la la ♪

♪ I'm feeling good ♪

We certainly went crazy
on Christmas, didn't we?

[Kourtney] Look at Khloé
with her black hair.

[Caitlyn] Ha!

[Kourtney] Wait, ah, ah, ah!

[Caitlyn] Ope!

[Kris] Alright, guys,
family photo, let's go.

-[Caitlyn] Where are you guys going?
-[Kris] Take a photo, come on.

Make a row in the front.

-[indistinct chatter]
-Kendall!

-[Kourtney] Reign! Oh, he's here.
-We're taking a photo.

Ready, one... two... three...

Put your phone away.

-Put your phone away!
-I'm sorry.

♪ La la la la la la la la ♪

♪ I'm feeling good ♪

Alright, you guys,
I'm heading back to Malibu.

-[Kendall] Love you.
-Love you.

-[Kylie] I'm gonna leave, too.
-Love you.

-I love you.
-Can't believe

you smoked dope in this house.

So many drugs.

[Caitlyn] And I didn't know it.

Kylie, take a moment.

This might be the last time
you ever see this place.

[Kylie] Come play with me in my room.

[♪ upbeat music playing]

I'm so sad my room doesn't exist.

I'm heading back out.

-Okay, I love you.
-Good seeing--

Love you. Good seeing you.

-Thank you for coming.
-Goodbye.

That was so nice on short notice.

We appreciate it.

That was a really great surprise
for the kids.

You owe me one.

No, just kidding.

What a great night.

I'm so happy that we were all here

and we were able to say goodbye to a house

that brought us so much joy and love.

Blood, sweat, and tears, highs and lows,

and that Caitlyn was there.

It's been a really long road,

but it was Caitlyn's house, too.

Bye, house.

One last hug in this house.

[Kylie] Oh!

We had so many memories.

[Kylie giggling]

[people chattering]

[♪ "End of the Road"
by Boyz II Men playing]

♪ Although we've come ♪

♪ To the end of the road ♪

♪ End of the road ♪

♪ Still, I can't let go ♪

♪ I can't let go, baby ♪

♪ It's unnatural ♪

♪ You belong to me ♪

♪ I belong to you ♪

[Kendall] Kylie and I have
so much history in that house.

It was high school years in that house.

We've snuck boys in that house together,

and gotten each other out
of trouble in that house,

and fought in that house.

And that was the last house
her and I lived in together.

So, when I looked back
at her standing on the stairs,

I realized that's probably the last time
I'll see her on those stairs.

♪ Love ♪

♪ I don't know what I'm gonna do
'cause I know ♪

♪ I've come to the end of the road,
the end of the road ♪

[Kylie] Those were some of the best years.

I'm definitely gonna miss...
miss this house.

Kylie's bedroom tour.

This is my bathroom. These are my shoes.

I have to shove them back here,

'cause Kendall again got
the bigger closet.

And that is it of Kylie's bedroom tour.

To see Kendall and Kylie crying
on the staircase

is really emotional for me,
and it makes me wanna cry.

I'm so proud of my kids,

and just to see everybody come together

and really appreciate
this chapter in our lives,

and to really feel it
and feel all the love,

it's just really special.

♪ Come to the end of the road ♪

♪ Got to the... ♪

-♪ No, no, no, no, no, no ♪
-♪ It's unnatural ♪

♪ You belong to me ♪

-♪ I belong to you ♪
-Love you.

[Kris] I love you.

[♪ song ends]

Love you so much.

I love you. Mm.

You're a lot taller
than when we first moved in.

-I know.
-Taller than me now.

-I love you.
-Love you.

[Kylie] Bye, Corey, love you.

-Love you.
-[Kendall] Love you.

They finally moved out.

[cackling]

Woo!

Come on, babe, we're outta here.

[♪ "Hello [Leggo!]"
by Jade Josephine playing]

♪ Hello, hello, get ready to let go ♪

♪ I'm the one that get it started
I just tell 'em let go ♪

♪ Hello, hello, hello, hello ♪

♪ It's a new day, it's a new way,

-♪ Touché ♪
-♪ Let go ♪

♪ Hard, had my group played ♪

-♪ It's a new way ♪
-♪ Let go ♪

Hi, Chef.

Hi, Khlo!

[Khloé] Malika is always encouraging me

to do new things.

So, we are gonna do
a cooking class with Chef K.

♪ Let go ♪

This is my Dolly Parton apron.

[Malika Haqq] Do it, girl.

[Khloé] I love my Dolly apron.

You guys know I love Dolly Parton.

That's like my podcast goal.

So, you know, you have to manifest.

[Khloé] What are we cooking today?

[Chef K] Here's your risotto ingredients.

[♪ plucky music playing]

Stirring the pot. Stirring the pot.

Do you know who wants
to try something new...

-Who?
-...Malik?

-Who?
-Is Scott.

The fires made him realize
that he has no family here,

and he wants to go to New York

-and, like, move there.
-Like, permanently?

I don't know if he thought it through,
but I also feel like

maybe it has to do
with a girl or something.

-Possibly.
-Because what a strange--

I think I would move
to New York for a man.

Not gonna lie.

I wouldn't.

You wouldn't?

Honey, you've moved everywhere for a man.

[Khloé] Not New York, though.

New York is too much, like full time--

But then, Cleveland was too little.

No, I liked Cleveland a lot.

[Malika] Entrée time.

If it's gonna pop out at me,
I'm gonna freak out.

Why would I do that?

Oh, no.

What is that? An eel?

-[Chef K laughing]
-[chuckling] No.

It's branzino.

[Khloé] Chef, why is its head on?

And its wings or whatever those are?

-The fins?
-[laughing] "Wings."

That is sick.

Holy [bleep].

It's looking at me.

What the [bleep].

I don't eat anything with bones,

but faces are a definite no-no.

I can't eat things
with a face looking at me.

It actually tastes really good.

It's like, "Did you enjoy me? How was I?"

[Chef K] So, we're gonna
do belly side down.

-sh*t.
-And then rub her with some of this.

[whiny voice] Oh, my God, it's bloody.

It's not blood, it's just the--

-Residue?
-[Chef K] Yeah.

-No, it's just the-- It's the flesh.
-[Khloé groaning]

[Chef K] It's been drained.

-Oi.
-[fish head slapping]

Oh, my God, it went back!

Oh, my God, I can't look at it.

The smell of fish is really tough.

And now, it's, like, living in my walls.

It's just so vile.

We should have done this outside.

It's gross.

-[Chef K] Should we...
-Yes, it's done.

-You're gonna--
-[Chef K] Here. In there.

You're gonna burn.

[Chef K] Here we go.

[Khloé] Bye-bye.

I hope you burn.

[phone ringing]

-[Khloé] Hi.
-[Kourtney] Hi, so what happened?

So no protest this week?

I sent you guys...

Let me see what I sent you guys.

This is what I sent.

[Kourtney] If you think I can keep up
with this chat of ours, you're wrong.

[Khloé] Our group chats are
a roller coaster of emotions.

What a depressing family chat
about the Ring Pops.

-[Kris] [on phone] I know.
-I carpooled four kids this morning,

and I gave them a Ring Pop,
and God forbid they took a picture,

and of course Psalm's tongue was out,

and Kourtney was like,

"What's that blue dye number one
on his tongue?"

-I'm like, I don't know.
-Oh, no.

Childhood. It's called childhood.

-And every last one of us had one.
-I just was like...

[Kourtney] By the way, just a...

[softly] Oh, my God.

-[normal] Yes.
-[Kourtney] ...a sidebar,

they recommend that in all kids' rooms

that you have no TVs

and that you turn off all devices--

or take them out of the room, sorry--
an hour before bedtime.

Nice. Or what will happen?

[Kourtney] It's just like
from a neurological standpoint.

What if everything's been going smooth?

[Kourtney] Well, just you wait.

Just you wait 'til they get older.

I don't know why you always wish
these negative things on them.

[Kourtney] No, I don't wish.
I just-- It's just--

You always say, "Just you wait."

What bothers me the most is
that Kourtney's the first one

that says she doesn't like
how judgy people are,

but she's the first one
to be so passive-aggressive

with everyone else, at least with me.

First of all, your kids do have TVs
in their bedrooms,

but cool, if you don't want them
at your house,

don't have them at your house.

My kids, we're doing fine.

[Kourtney] It's bad for their brain.

It's on, like, so many different studies.

'Kay.

And I really hate whenever I hear,
"Just wait 'til your kids are older."

Like, almost insinuating like
mine are gonna be wild animals

swinging from the chandeliers.

'Cause it actually does put
such a negative cloud

over that chapter.

And yes, I'm sure it's gonna be tough,

but let me figure that out.

[Kourtney] Can read it to you exactly,
if you'd like to know.

"Data indicates that technology use,

"particularly within one hour of bedtime,

"is associated with sleep dysregulation,

"disruptions to neurological development

in adolescent brains."

That's from the American Academy
of Pediatrics.

We do TV time before bed.

[Kourtney] Yeah, she's just saying to stop

at an hour before,
which I have to do, too.

[Khloé] Okay, well, I love you.
This has been great.

-[Kourtney] Okay. I love you.
-Okay, thank you.

-[Kourtney] Bye.
-Bye.

Wow.

She's informative.

She is.

[Malika] Come on, don't lie,
it looks beautiful.

I see its eyeball
and the scales on its cheek.

Oh, my God.

Be honest.

[♪ mischievous music playing]

You're gonna spit it out.

-It's just hard when it's staring at me.
-So, swallow then.

[gags] Ugh.

I wonder if my cats would eat the fish.

[cat meows]

[♪ upbeat music playing]

♪ Ooh, go ahead and jump,
let yourself get into it ♪

♪ Go wild, got style, now we living it ♪

-♪ Thought it was good ♪
-[board clacks]

Alright, guys, here we go, good energy.

♪ But it's only gettin' better ♪

♪ Be-be-better ♪

♪ Yeah, it's only gettin' better ♪

[producer] Hi Kris Jenner.
What are you doing today?

Well, I'm making my little checkup
on my daughter Kim,

who's sh**ting All's Fair
at the studio here in Hollywood,

that I am co-executive producing
with Ryan Murphy.

So, I'm gonna pay my daughter
a little surprise visit

and see what she's up to.

What are you guys up to?

♪ It's only gettin' better ♪

[Kris] Wow, how's everybody doing?

[Kim] Good, just getting ready.

[Kris] Yeah?

What time you think we'll wrap, 9:00?

[assistant] They just said,
like, nine hours.

-Nine hours from now?
-[assistant] It's a long scene.

Yeah, that's how long it takes
to film one scene.

It's like nine hours.

I didn't get that much sleep,

'cause I wrapped last night at almost 3:00

and then had to get up,
North had a recital.

It wasn't on my schedule,
and she called me late last night like,

"Are you coming?"

And I was like, "What?"

I don't know how you're doing it.

I have a huge law school test
in two weeks.

I have finals coming up
in a couple of weeks,

and then after that,
I will have graduated law school.

And then, the bar's coming up
in three months.

So, I go right into heavy bar prep.

All I do is study.

Do you want me to get you a cup of coffee?

No, thanks.

Can I get a cup of coffee?

-[Kim] Sure.
-Okay.

I'm playing a lawyer on TV,

and that's just what I want
to be in real life.

So, studying for the bar exam
in between takes

is really challenging.

Like, the way that I
really memorize my lines,

I kinda have to, like, just be in it.

So, it's really hard to then
be trying to memorize

definitions and stuff
that I need for all of my essays.

So, it is a bit challenging
doing it at the same time.

[♪ intense music playing]

♪ This the type of beat that make you... ♪

-Hi!
-Hi!

-Hi! You guys look--
-So lovely to have you at our...

[both] Mwah. Mwah.

[Kris] You ready?

-[Glenn Close] Yeah.
-[Kris] Yeah?

She's Glenn Close.

She's always ready.

[Niecy Nash] I'm proud of your baby.

-Yeah?
-Yeah. Mm-hmm.

She doing-- Is she making us proud?

-She's making you proud.
-Yeah.

She's making you proud. You know?

And with everything else.

-You know what I mean?
-Yeah.

-So it's-- It--
-I don't know how she's doing it.

I don't know how she's doing the hours--

-[Glenn] This one?
-Yeah.

I am so proud of Kim
in the All's Fair show.

I just had no idea what to expect.

But this level of professionalism,
her as an actress,

the performance that she brings
from within is spectacular.

Do you know that's all
I've ever wanted to play

-is a villain?
-Really?

Because I just want to play one in life.

You would be a great villain.

Like, I want to be...
You know what I mean?

-I've done it. I've played villains.
-I know, like--

I know. You play some great villains.

Ya. You've played some beauties.

In Fatal Attraction...

everybody thought she was a villain but...

she wasn't.

[Kris] I probably--

In my day, I probably saw
Fatal Attraction so many times.

Probably six times.

I have to see it again.

We have to get a-- Have you seen it?

[♪ mischievous music playing]

Fatal Attraction?

Don't put me on the spot like this.

-You haven't?
-Stop!

-[Glenn] Oh, my God.
-[Kris] Stop it.

-[Niecy] It's a cult classic!
-[Glenn] I can't--

You won't even be able
to speak to her at work.

-She's a lunatic.
-It's a classic.

-I can't believe you didn't see it.
-Are you crazy?

I've seen Cruella de Vil.

-No, no. This is another one.
-What? Oh, no.

Never seen Fatal Attraction.

-I know.
-[producer] Girl...

I actually haven't seen a lot of movies.
I never had time.

Ok.

This is another level of this one...

Unhinged.

...that you won't believe
what comes out of this one's...

[Niecy] "I won't be ignored, Dan!"

-I'll watch it with you.
-Yeah.

-Okay.
-Oh, I--

-No, let's all watch it!
-I'd love to watch it with you.

-Will you come over?
-Let's all watch it.

-Yes!
-Let's all have a watching party.

-Yes! Let's do it.
-[Kris] I would love it.

-Okay.
-Oh, my God.

-Let's all do it.
-At your house.

-[Kris] Yeah. Oh, for sure.
-[Glenn] Yeah.

That was all my hair.

All I'm gonna say is wait
for the bathtub scene.

Oh, my God.

Kim, you don't know
what you have in store.

Oh, I can't wait.

Much to look forward to.

I'm freaking out. Freaking out!

I get to watch Fatal Attraction
with Glenn Close...

[laughing] at my house.

I'm dying.

Yep, Glenn Close, ladies and gentlemen.

♪ So whatever you need, just talk to me ♪

[♪ "Talk To Me" by Kullah playing]

♪ You can talk to me ♪

So it is for Twitch?

Um, guys, is Twitch a person?

No. It's a gaming app.

It's a gaming app

where people live stream themselves.

So that's what it's for? Okay.

♪ You feel great ♪

I'm excited!

I usually try to work once a week

at the most,

if that,

or once a month.

But, this week, Alabama asked me

if I would sh**t this teaser video

for her Twitch livestream.

And then, I am sh**ting
our new Lemme campaign

with Julia Fox.

Okay, this is the plan.

-'Kay.
-This is my creative direction.

-'Kay.
-So--

Is this all your idea?

This is, ground up, my idea.

The camera's gonna be on you.

You're kind of playing the manager role.

-[Kourtney] 'Kay.
-You're like, "Where is Alabama?

"She's late for her stream.

I'm so sick of this, et cetera."

[Kourtney] Okay, so I'm playing
the Wicked Stepmother.

No.

'Cause I'm w-- I'm pouring water
on you to wake you up.

You're my manager
that wants me to do good in life.

Okay.

Alabama and I are super close.

I've known her
since she was eight years old.

This is tea, the makeup and hair.

-Ay! [laughing]
-It's matcha.

-It's matcha.
-It's matcha.

Yeah, I love, you know,
being there for her, to support her.

I love that she asked me,

that she thinks I'm cool enough
to be in her video.

-I text Kourtney the other day...
-[Kourtney] It is--

...I go, "This is tea."

She goes, "It's matcha,

-it's chamomile."
-[Kourtney] And then--

It's peppermint.

With the older kids,
I try to be there for them

as a friend, and I try to be there

in a motherly way

as much or as little as they are wanting.

You know, like, I don't wanna
be, like, overbearing,

but I love being there for them

to give them advice when they ask me,

or spend time with them when they want to,

or, you know, just in any way that I can.

[camera roller rattling]

Um, they said we need 10 minutes

because their camera guy
is about to be here.

-He hit traffic. So...
-[Kourtney] 'Kay.

See you in ten.

[♪ plucky, whimsical music playing]

[crew chattering]

[♪ plucky, whimsical music continues]

[Kourtney] Hi, baby.

[Travis Barker] What are you doing?

Just, um, filming...

-Oh, nice.
-...for this thing for Bama.

This is all very specific Bama direction.

I'm in heels and a trench coat.

[Travis] It sounds like
our date night outfit.

It is. It's our date night outfit.

-[Travis chuckles]
-Um, and then I pour water on her.

Nice. Okay, I love you.

I love you.

-Mwah.
-Mwah.

[crickets chirping]

[♪ curious music playing]

[equipment rattling]

[equipment thudding]

I was like, "When are
we sh**ting this, guys?"

And they were like,
"Realistically, we could have it

up and running in 30 minutes."

I go, "We're gonna film in five minutes

"and then we're gonna be out
of the bedroom in 10 minutes,

"'cause I'm on a breastfeeding schedule.

"I share a room with my baby,

and, like, I can't have
all these people in here."

[crew chattering]

[Kourtney] This Twitch crew
is not staying on the schedule.

[crew member] That's too much...

I just am very efficient with my time.

I have to have dinner with my husband.

I need to give my baby a bath.

I don't have time to waste.

And I am all here to be supportive
and do this video,

but the team needs to get it together.

I've had a small crew with one camera,
do we need that?

Like a handheld? I have one.

-Do I need to plug in these lights?
-[Alabama Barker] I'll do it.

[Kourtney] Do we need to-- What do we
need to do here to get this going?

[Kourtney] Did I give you that,
those boots?

-[Liz Muller] Those are amazing.
-[Alabama] Aren't these crazy?

-[Kourtney] Yeah.
-[Liz] Love those.

They're fire.

[Kourtney] B for Barker.

-[Alabama] B for Barker.
-And Bama.

Bama Barker.

[Alabama] Bama Barker.

Do you want me to plug in
the lights in there?

Do you want me to build the camera?

-What can I do?
-[Liz laughing]

So how my mom would act.

That was very Kris Jenner of you.

Yeah.

[♪ energetic music playing]

[director] Yeah, we're looking good.

-[producer] Looks good?
-Yeah,

we're looking good
with the good levels.

I can't wait to see
Kourtney's acting skills.

-[director] Roll sound.
-[crew member] Sound speed.

[director] Camera speeds, and action.

Where is Bama?

She's always late.

She's gonna be late for this livestream.

[director] And cut.

-[Alabama] Yay!
-[director] Okay, cool.

Um, Bama.

Ugh, Bama.

I think that was perfect.

We can move to the trench coat scene.

[director] Alright, let's go out of here.

And this room, yay.

It's taking a very long time,

and I just need to, like,
rinse all this makeup off

and get my pajamas on
and get in bed with my baby.

I don't know if it's too Inspector Gadget

with your shiny one.

It gives manager.

[Kourtney] Camera crew,

let's speed it up.

So, I just need to get this done with

and the team is just... really slow.

Does anyone else always wonder
what to eat for dinner?

[line ringing]

Can I help you?

Hi, can I please place
an order for pickup?

Of course. What would you like?

[Kourtney] Can I please get a beet salad?

Alright.

And then, the chips and the non-spicy

mac and cheese sauce.

The cashew cheese.

The cashew chipotle cheese?

It's like a non-spicy--

They say it's the mac and cheese cheese.

Oh, got it, ok. Alright.

And what's your name?

Um, Jones.

Alright.

[laughing quietly]

-Is that correct?
-Yes.

What is it? What?

No, I just, like, can't stop laughing.

About what?

Absolutely nothing. I don't even know.

I just had a major laugh attack.

You've got the giggles?

Yes.

-That's fun.
-Oh, my gosh.

I love... I love getting the giggles.

It's such a good thing.

-It really is.
-Ya.

-Well, good. Well...well keep laughing.
-Okay.

Enjoy yourself and
we'll make your food.

Thank you. Thank you so much.

-Of course. Bye.
-Okay, bye.

That girl probably thinks
I am so psychotic.

-[laughter]
-[Alabama] Stoned Kourt.

She's like, "This girl is smoking weed."

I'm crying.

-[Alabama] Why?
-Because...

it was just the funniest conversation

when she said, "What's your name?"

And I said Jones.

And I don't even know
why I came up with that name.

I was gonna say Travis,
'cause he's picking it up.

But then I was like...

How are we gonna explain
to him that you're Jones now?

[laughing] Jones.

What if they think it's a prank call?

No, she must think it's a prank call,

but then I think she thinks I'm high.

Oh, my gosh.

[producer] How often do you
use a code name?

[clicking tongue] Oh, all the time.

I'm not gonna say "Travis,"
'cause I just feel like they know.

Don't you think she recognized your voice?

I swear a lot of people don't.

But, like, I do think
she recognized my voice,

and I think when Travis
came in, she was like,

"Oh, I think we know who this is for."

[crew chattering]

[Alabama] Wait, what are we
waiting on right now?

They're so slow at setting up shots.

[Alabama] It's like,
what are we doing though?

I am a reality star, so all I do,

is I do-- I do one take.

In this house, we don't sleep in
when we have things to do.

Channel your inner Kris Jenner.

What would she say?

-[Kourtney] That's what my mom would say.
-[all laugh]

Are you seeing any little glimpses
of your mom's impatience in you?

Oh, yeah, I have Kris Jenner inside of me.

I have it all the time at home,
like with my team,

'cause I used to be
my mom's assistant after college,

and I think I just saw
the way that she-- her tone,

the way that she, like,
gives a little evil look

here and there, and I do the same thing.

-From the top.
-Make it drop.

-It's that...
-[Liz] No.

Wet a*s [bleep]

[Alabama and Kourtney laughing]

With Alabama, she's always playful
and, like, fun.

She brings out that side
that's a little wild.

You gotta sing WAP for the camera.

From the top.

Call-- Call Dad and start--

-[Kourtney] Make it drop.
-Just start singing.

FaceTime him and just start going at it.

Now from the top, make it drop,

that's some wet a*s [bleep].

Ah! I love that babe!

That's my wife!

[Kourtney] I have WAP stuck in my head,

and I was, like, singing it
for Bama and Malaya.

And she was like, "Call my dad right now."

I love that!

-[director] Roll sound.
-[cameraman] Rolling.

[director] Camera speed,
let's get quiet on set.

And action.

In this house, we do not sleep in

when we have things to do.

♪ I'm outta here, can't stop me ♪

[Alabama shrieks]

[scoffs]

Time to get up.

[director] Cut.

Oh, my God, that was not acting.

[director] Okay.
That's a wrap on Kourtney.

-Thank you.
-[director] Thank you!

[crew applauds]

[Kourtney] I'm so happy
that this sh**t is finally done.

I think it'll be a really cute video,

but I've exhausted
all my extra time for the day.

♪ Watch me, watch me work ♪

[♪ playful, plucky music playing]

[sing-songy] ♪ My name is Kim Kardashian ♪
[normal] I wish.

Who doesn't wanna be Kim Kardashian?

[♪ playful, plucky music continues]

-[Kim/Sarah Paulson] Mom?
-[Kris] Yeah?

Wait a minute, you guys are so cute!

[Sarah] I was like, "I'm not your mom."

-[Kris laughing]
-How are you?

Good, how are you?

I look like Kim but just not as good.

You guys are so cute.

-Are we cute?
-And you look like you're 12.

-No, I don't.
-Yeah, you do.

-[Sarah] She's my mom.
-[Kris] Yeah, you do.

You could be one of mine.

-Yeah, I could.
-Yeah.

-Yeah.
-I'm pretending she's my mom, too.

Yeah, why not?

Sarah Paulson is just so [bleep] funny.

Like, I don't know what it is,

she just makes me laugh.

And it really has ruined
so many of our scenes.

It was like the one time
I thought Glenn was gonna, like,

cuss us out because we just
couldn't get it together.

-Alright, we're late.
-[Sarah] Okay, we're gonna go.

Oh, hi.

-Bye, Mom!
-You guys look so cute.

-Bye.
-Bye, Mom.

-[Kris] Be good.
-Bye, Mom.

-[Kim] They're coming for us.
-[Sarah] They don't care.

Enough joking. It's time to start acting.

[director] Alright.
Still rolling, sound pickup.

[cameraman] Still rolling.

[producer] Still rolling, guys,
doing the pickup.

[director] Alright guys, here we go.
Still rolling.

[producer] Settling in!

Quiet all around.

Okay, let's just look at each other,
so we're good.

-We're fine.
-We're fine.

I'm great. You're great.

We're not gonna laugh.

[producer] Here we go,
rolling, rolling, ready?

And action!

Nice to see you, uh... sh*t.

[all laughing]

Francine!

Francine!

Resetting. We'll go again.

-[Kim] Sorry.
-[producer] Resetting, going again.

-[camera beeps]
-Nice to see you, Fransween.

[laughter]

Do y'all see this?
She called this woman...

everything but her name.

[director] Still rolling.

[Glenn] Kim... don't you two dare
look at each other.

-I know, I know.
-I'm sorry.

It's nice to see you "Fransween".

[Kim/Sarah laughing]

We-- We just cracked.

And once we cracked, we couldn't stop.

And Glenn was just like,

"Don't you dare!

Get it together, girls."

And we were like...

And I just couldn't,

and then she started laughing,

and then I was like, "Oh, we're [bleep]."

-Sorry.
-Let me tell y'all something

about the laughing fits.

The laughing fits are what happened
between these two.

And once they get the giggles,
all bets are off.

I'mma tell Glenn on y'all.

-[camera beeps]
-Nice to see you, Francine.

It's been a while.

[line reader] It has.

[director] And cut it, very nice.

Alright, let's move on.

[producer] Alright. Moving on.

[Kim] I'm sending you, like, so far
a million article-- um, interviews

with both Buzz Aldrin...

-Yes. Do it.
-...and the other one.

This girl says, "What was
the scariest moment?"

And he goes, "There was no scary moment,
'cause it didn't happen.

"It could have been scary,

but it wasn't 'cause it didn't happen."

So, he's gotten old and now he, like,

-slurs on his thinking.
-Saying everything.

-[Kim] Yeah.
-Saying everything.

-Dudes.
-Yeah.

-So I think it didn't happen.
-[Sarah] Mm-hmm.

I'm gonna go on a massive deep dive

-is what's gonna happen.
-'Kay. [chuckles]

I'm gonna go on a serious deep dive.

I send her conspiracies all the time.

[singing]
♪ Wee-ooh-wee-ooh ♪

-You lost a nail.
-I did not.

-Oh, two of 'em, your thumbs.
-Oh no, because-- [chuckles]

I did it because

-I couldn't take my tights down.
-She took 'em off.

Oh, the pain of being Kim Kardashian.

It is hard... right?

It's hard.

We're breaking for lunch at 10:15 p.m.

[producer] Wait, for the record...

you think that we didn't
walk on the moon?

-I don't think we did.
-[producer gasps]

I think it was fake.

[♪ unsettling music playing]

I've seen a few videos on Buzz Aldrin

talking about how it didn't happen.

He says it all the time now in interviews.

Maybe we should find Buzz Aldrin.

Oh, my God, Khloé should
get him on her podcast.

[gasps] A conspiracy theory podcast.

Why does Buzz Aldrin say it didn't happen?

There's no gravity on the moon.

Why is the flag blowing?

The shoes that they have in the museum

that they wore on the moon
is a different print

in the photos.

Why are there no stars?

And what do you have to say...

to the people who are gonna say...

you're crazy for saying that.

They're gonna say
I'm crazy no matter what.

But, like, go to TikTok, see for yourself.

[laughing]

-[eerily] Ooh.
-[producer laughs]

[crickets chirping]

-[ambient city street noise]
-[birds chirping]

♪ Yeah ♪

[♪ upbeat music playing]

♪ Yeah ♪

♪ I look good ♪

♪ Look good ♪

♪ Let's go, huh, huh ♪

[director] Alright,
here we go, three, two, one!

-Hey. On my mark.
-[board clacks]

[director] Action.

♪ Call it work, call it ♪

♪ Call it work ♪

[♪ upbeat music continues]

Cool. Alright, lets get ready to go again.

-[Simon Huck] Julia.
-[Kourtney] Hi.

[Simon] Hi.

[Kourtney] I'm in my pajamas.

This is how I-- how I show up,

-how I roll around town.
-How are you?

-So good,
-Have you been watching?

-you look gorgeous.
-Thank you.

We are sh**ting our Lemme Play
libido gummy campaign

starring Julia Fox
and Kourtney Kardashian Barker.

And it should be a fun day.

Thank you so much for doing this.

-[Julia Fox] Thank you for having me.
-It's gonna be so epic.

-[Julia] It's gonna be, like, mega.
-Yeah.

People are gonna lose...
their minds.

-[Simon] Yeah.
-I cannot wait.

-[Julia] How's the baby? Is the baby here?
-[crew member] Yes.

He's here.

-He's so good.
-I love that you bring him with you.

-I bring my son everywhere too.
-[Kourtney] Yeah. You do?

I do.

-I like-- I can't go anywhere...
-[Julia] I know, it's hard.

...without him
because I just don't want to.

You're that girl.

Like, I learned how to mother
from watching you be a mother.

-Aw.
-I swear.

-Thank you.
-Yeah.

-[Kourtney] That's so nice.
-It's true.

So many times, I'm like,
"Wait, you know me?

You know about things
that I've done or what I do?"

It's very touching to feel,
like, someone's learning

how to be a mother by watching me.

Makes me want to share my ways,

my mothering ways even more. [chuckles]

How are the older ones loving the baby?

-Are they, like, obsessed?
-[Kourtney] Yeah. Yeah.

I want to have another baby so bad.

-[Kourtney] You do?
-But I'm like, with who?

Wait till the right situation,

'cause I feel like...
I think of it all the time.

Like, having the parents together
is such a dream.

Yeah, I know.

I think about it all the time,
but it's-- it's okay.

But you've like, been able to co-parent...

like, really well.

-Yeah. Like, people do it.
-Like, the kids seem so happy,

and they, like,
are obsessed with you guys.

Yeah.

I think with co-parenting
it's always trying to be cordial.

Do our best to be on the same page.

It's not easy.

-Should we glam?
-Should we go glam? Yeah.

-I'm gonna go glam.
-[Julia] I'll see you.

-[Simon] We'll be back.
-Okay.

-[director] See you in a bit on that side.
-Okay.

[♪ upbeat music playing]

[camera clicking]

[director] Good.
Alright, guys, here we go,

pictures up and... action.

Hi.

[Julia] Girl, what on earth
did you send me?

It's like a pregame for your pleasure.

Side effects may include
an uncontrollable--

sh*t. [laughs]

-[producer] Let's do it again.
-[director] Back to one.

Action.

It's Lemme Play, our new libido gummy.

[producer] It's Lemme Play,
our new intimacy gummy.

-You'll love it.
-Oh, duh.

You'll love it, it's our new
Lemme Intimacy gummy.

It increases blood flow to your beep,

and to your beep, and to your beep,

and your beep, and your beep.

Side effects may include
uncontrollable pleasure

and a reminder that you come first.

-[producer] Cut.
-[Simon] So good, so good.

Alright, guys,
that's a camera wrap on Kourtney.

-[Simon] Yay!
-Good work, guys. Thank you so much.

-Thank you so much.
-[Simon] Thank you, guys.

[Kourtney] How many TikToks are we doing?

-[crew member] So, we're doing three.
-[Simon] Three.

This is amazing. Wow, you look so good.

-Thank you.
-Okay.

-I'm still in my pajamas.
-[laughing]

-[phone beeping]
-Three, two, one.

[lip-syncing]
I actually did it myself. Yeah.

[lip-syncing] Nice.
I did it too soon.

-[laughter]
-I suck at this.

[lip-syncing]
I took a couple, you know,

I took some time off to rest

and now it's game time, b*tches.

[lip-syncing] I know the influence,
I know the impact, and I know the vibes.

And the girlies love the vibes.

And that's just what it's about.

Uh, nailed.

k*lled, k*lled, k*lled.

Yay.

-[Simon] Yay!
-[crew member] You guys k*lled it.

Can we do more?

Oh, my God, I have more.

Like, literally, I have so many more.

I'm having so much fun.

[♪ upbeat music continues]

[Julia and Kourtney laughing]

-Oh, my God.
-[Simon] Oh, my God.

[Kourtney] If anyone wants some gummies,
they're all over the bed.

One hit me in the face.

-Oh, no.
-[Julia laughs]

Thank you so much.

-Thank you.
-So good to see you.

-I can't wait to see it all.
-No, thank you. I know.

Okay, it's looking good out there.

I just left a chat with Khloé.

You did?

I couldn't control myself.

[laughing] Why?

[Kourtney] Because she's just talking sh*t
about everything

and everyone.

Khloé is just talking negatively
about somebody

who posted something
and, "Oh, my gosh, this person,"

and just, like, talking sh*t about them,

and like, "How could they post this?"

And, you know, just like analyzing it.

And I'm like, "Really?

Like, this is not what we have time for."

And I just said,
"Let them live their lives."

You know?

First of all, I wasn't talking to her.

I was talking to Kylie
and Kris, who chimed in,

and Kourtney was like,

"Can't you just let people be
who they are?"

You're defending someone, and I said,

but can't you give me
the same energy, basically?

Can't you let me be who I am?

And she's like,
"You're so [bleep] negative."

And just, like, leaves the chat.

And I'm thinking, "What a p*ssy."

Who says something
and then exits? Like, that's so lame.

I left the chat. Oh, I said,
"Can we just let everyone be,

and be light and love?"

And I said, "The criticism is
off the charts these days.

"It's not healthy to worry
about every other person

and what they're doing."

And then she said, "So, now we are shamed

"for having feelings
yours don't align with?

That's not fair, but do you, boo."

And I go, "Oh, my gosh,
I'm exhausted for you."

-And then you exited the chat?
-Yeah.

The thing is, you are really good

at not entering the drama,

so you don't carry the heaviness

-of all the negative energy.
-[Kourtney] Uh-huh. Mm-hmm.

I'm just trying to limit my communication

with people all day long.

And then when someone gives me a reason

to just leave the conversation,

then I'm gonna take it.

-Now they can go off and--
-Oh.

[Kourtney] I'm also like, "Go off."

The not-Kourtney chat is gonna
be on fire right now.

Go off, guys. Like-- Yeah, go off
and say all your negativity about me,

-or about anyone...
-[Simon] Yeah.

...about whoever you want.

But, like, keep it away from me.

You wanna say I'm negative,
I'm miserable?

You are projecting.

You are unhappy in your life,

and you're taking it out on me.

Whatever you're going through,
work it out.

Don't flip sh*t on me.

I'm a very happy, positive, loving person.

I live a great life.

You can suck my big fat [bleep].

[♪ intense music playing]

[Kim] Next, on The Kardashians...

♪ Get ready to let go ♪

♪ Get ready to let go now ♪

-Cheers.
-[group] Cheers.

[Kim] To Fatal Attraction.

Yes!

-[Kourtney] You ready?
-I'm ready, baby.

We are in New Orleans, Louisiana.

Oh, my gosh.

I'm not running crazy.

Blink-182 is performing.

[line ringing]

Your call has been forwarded...

[bleep] b*tch.

I think Kourtney's mad at me,
I don't know.

Oh, well.

How the hell are you?

I'm great, how are you?

Mm.

I cannot stop thinking about
Scott moving to New York.

There is a girl that I do see
when I'm in New York.

That also plays a little bit of a part.

[Khloé] Are you still mad
about the group chat?

'Cause that's why I'm here.

[Kourtney] Khloé's coming over.

We've obviously had
a little tension lately.

You're such a p*ssy.

Why is that a p*ssy?

Because you can't face
having a conversation.

No, it's called "protect the energy,"

-and then I move on.
-You're the one that started it.

[Kourtney] No, I'm just like...

-Right, I moved on.
-[Khloé] You running away

doesn't do anything.

♪ Call it work, call it ♪

♪ Call it work ♪

♪ Call it work, call it ♪

♪ Call it work ♪

♪ Let's get it ♪

♪ Boom, boom, catch me slipping ♪

♪ Let's hit it ♪

♪ Get it done and zip it ♪

♪ Watch me shine, shine ♪

♪ Wa-Wa-Watch me ♪

♪ Watch me shine ♪

By the way, who knew

that the walls at Eldorado Meadow
were paper thin?

And I'll tell you,
Corey and I were there one night

and the next day we wake up,

our houseguest, Jonathan, says,

"I don't wanna say anything,
but you better not make that much noise...

[laughing]
when you have another houseguest."

He goes, "You guys were really loud."

And I'm thinking, we weren't that loud,

but I'm thinking,
"Oh, if only those walls could talk."

Well, maybe they did.

[bleep] walls.

[bell tolling]