03x03 - JWoww Gets Her Groove Back

[bunniefuu]

- Right now, I'm leaving

my wellness retreat center, I like to call it.

Being there was more than I expected.

- Hair's on point. That means everything's good.

Everything's good. - [bleep]. [laughs]

I definitely feel like a different person,

you know, since I went away to treatment.

I feel really good,

and I feel like I wanna be around the g*ng

and show them that I'm back to being,

who I, you know, used to be.

- And you're sober now?

- On her birthday, it's four months.

Ariana's first birthday party is coming up,

and I just want everybody to see me and Jen getting along,

you know, throwing this amazing birthday.

- Are we having a bartender come?

[music stops]

- I have to go to Vegas for a month

to host the show, "Chippendales."

- "Chippen"--the dancers? - Yeah.

- Wow. - I'm coming to that, you know.

- Ma, you're not coming to that, hell no.

- You were to us talking about

a great person in your life, though.

- Calm down.

I have been seeing this guy,

and I am having lots and lots and lots of sex recently.

He's young. - Ooh.

How old is he?

- He's .

- Jenni! [laughter]

- ♪ Get crazy, get wild ♪

- Yeah, buddy!

- Party's here!

- "The Situation" is under construction.

- This might not have been the best idea.

- We're so classy now.

- On the seventh day, it'll be lit.

- Get the freak out of here, you crazy!

- Um, hello?

- ♪ If you wanna have fun, then do something crazy ♪

- ♪ One last time ♪

- He's . He's a man-child.

Where'd you meet him? What can we know?

What do you wanna disclose? - Give us the tea.

- ♪ I'm next to you ♪

- Who is he? - What's his name?

- . - And is he really ?

Oof. He's young.

- I never in a million years thought

I would be dating someone younger than me.

but he's--[mumbles]

Okay. [laughs]

- Where'd you meet him?

[light music]

He went to your wedding? - No...

- Okay, so... - Whoa.

- He's my friend's little brother. [laughs]

- Oh, my God.

- We're completely different.

Not a tattoo, nothing. Total white boy.

Polo, khaki wearing. I was like, "Oh, this isn't..."

- He's polo, khaki wearing?

- Yes. [snorts]

Not my style at all.

- You like this guy. - She likes him.

- He just really makes my heart, like, feel

something, besides being dead inside.

It feels good.

He's, like, not my style at all...

- Mm-hmm.

- But then he turns into, like, this [bleep] monster in bed.

- Wow.

- I was like, "Like, are you an escort?

Like, what's going on? Like, this is, like..."

- Oh, my God. - It wasn't normal.

I had to, like, look up positions and stuff,

'cause I was like, "This is not nor--"

You ever hear of, like, closed missionary?

- What is that?

- Apparently, it's a thing. - Mm-kay.

- I wanna know what this is.

- [chuckles]

"Closed missionary."

Wait, so, you're just laying down, straight-legged,

and he's just on you,

and he's just going in there.

- But he's straddled.

- I have never seen this before.

I'm gonna be very honest with you. Never.

"The plumber"... - [laughs]

- What is "the plumber"?

- "The woman have great access

for some tushy and testicle time."

- Oh, my God, this is the most loud conversation.

- I love this website. I love this website.

Did she really do that with ? I mean, come on.

Me and Chris don't do that crazy [bleep].

Maybe Chris has to go from a sanitation worker

to a plumber.

How did Ron look last night? - He looked great.

He looked well put together.

- Is he sober?

'Cause I know that he was emailing Mike regularly

about when he first got home.

- He looks it.

But, like, I mean, he's with Jen.

It scares me.

- Are we having a bartender come?

Are we drinking?

- Uh, if you guys want to.

- They're triggers.

Like, sometimes, you truly have to cut off those triggers.

- Well, especially if you're newly sober.

- Exactly.

Lauren has been so strong for Mike

over these past years with his problem with addiction,

so I feel like Ron needs extra support from Jen,

because he lives in Vegas,

literally, like, the temptation capital of the [bleep] world.

- Jen needs to step up,

because he has to surround himself with supportive people

of him being sober. - Yeah.

I really hope I don't see him drinking today.

- I hope so. - We'll see today.

♪ ♪

[Cherry Cherry Red's "One Step at a Time"]

- ♪ Yeah, things are looking up ♪

♪ Oh, I could touch the sun ♪

[blowing raspberries, laughter]

♪ Let worries disappear ♪

[ducks quacking]

- We need ice.

- Liquor there, and then the outside,

there's a cooler outside for tally.

Today's Ariana's first birthday,

and I feel like her first birthday

has to be one of her best birthdays.

- Happy first birthday.

- You have to get the balloons and the petting zoo

and the bouncy thing and the food,

and the people are coming over.

It's nice, right? It came out good.

- Yeah, it came out really, really nice.

Glad you're doing good. - Yeah, feel good, I look good.

You know, I'm feeling good, thanks.

- Yeah.

- I'm excited to embrace life,

and show everyone that I'm back to being

who I, you know, used to be.

- I love llamas. Like, I love, love them.

Wait, he's eating our plants?

[laughter]

- ♪ You've got a lot of nerve ♪

- All right, b*tches, let's go.

[punk rock music]

[groans] My hand.

- I look like a hot mess. Vegas is winning.

Vegas versus me right now, I'm down.

- Is that him?

- The bounce house? - There was a bounce house.

- And she lives in this with him, or...

- Dude, I know as much as--

you actually probably know more than me.

- I don't ask that question.

- Wonder if the [bleep] neighbors are losing their mind,

'cause Ron and Jen live near them.

- [chuckles]

- I know this is, like, a kids' party...

- We're here.

- But I don't know what to expect from Ron and Jen ever.

I just don't wanna see anyone get stabbed today.

Hi. - Hey.

all: Hi.

- It took long. - How are you?

- What's up? - Oh, my God.

- Hey. How are you?

- How are you guys feeling?

- I can't believe she's one. - Happy birthday.

- This is the first time I've seen Jen since the wedding,

and we didn't really get to talk.

- Do we just sit wherever though?

- Not that way.

[tense music]

That is just my relationship with her, so...

[llama grunts] Ooh! A llama!

I'm just gonna be in the corner.

Llama, llama, llama, llama, llama.

[llama grunts]

- Where can we put our gifts for her?

- Yeah, where do the gifts go?

- Yeah, put them under the table.

That's fine--yeah, there you go, boom.

- Oh, right here, there you go. - Where's Ron?

I need a place to set up the bar.

Do you wanna help me or no?

- The bar?

I mean, I'm not-- you can set up the bar.

I'm not gonna set up the bar.

- You can help me set the bar up.

Do you feel like making me a margarita?

- Really? - Yeah, have my mom do it.

- Oh, my God. I was afraid of this.

Like, different wavelengths.

This could be an issue.

- Where'd James put the ice?

- Where did Jen go? - She's over there.

She's at the margarita station.

- Like, I already need a margarita.

- Jen needs to respect the fact

that Ronnie's sticking to the sober life.

He needs someone to trust and lean on.

And Jen... - [laughs]

- Needs to be that person.

- I don't know where the ice is.

- The house is beautiful. This is the new house, right?

- Thank you. Yeah, this is the house, yeah.

- You love it? You happy?

- I'm--eh... I don't like Vegas,

so I'm gonna sell it,

and I think I found the house in California.

- Nice.

- You know, in Vegas, it's just like--

it's almost like-- it's like being in hell,

let's be honest.

It's like being in hell, you know?

- I've been trying to take a shot for, like, four hours.

- It's, like, it'll be a good change of environment.

- Yeah, good change of pace for everything, you know?

- Yeah.

- That's where I wanna raise Ariana.

I don't want her here.

- Yeah, you don't want her down the road from the Strip.

- Yeah. - Okay, let's do a shot now.

- Where's the alcohol at? - Over here, over here.

- Sobriety's hard... - I know.

- And it's hard as [bleep] in the beginning.

- Yeah.

- The precious Ariana, one years old!

- Cheers!

- Whoo!

- I'm proud of you. - I feel good.

Thank you. Thank you so much. - Yeah.

- It means a lot. I love you. - Yeah. Yeah.

I love you. - [muffled]

[duck quacking]

- Oh, my God, that duck is poking at the bunny.

I don't like that.

- Yeah, it's like g*ng wars up in there.

- It was like Miami, .

- Me against Jenni.

- Stay and get your a*s beat. - Yeah--[chuckles]

- Here, let's all sit here. It's comfy.

It's hairy, but it's comfy. - Here, just move this.

- He's home.

- We explained something to her.

- Oh, my God, please [bleep] me, man.

- Oh--

- That's a problem, so that's what I'm trying to...

- Exactly. So, that's what we're trying to solve.

- So, she doesn't do sex.

But I told her, I said,

a blowjob will solve so many issues.

And she makes the most disgusting face.

- What? What do you mean? - She's like, "Ugh."

- [laughs]

- 'Cause you do it so much, Jenni.

[bleep] my life. - I do now.

- What? Are you dating somebody?

- I'm just... - Wait, what?

- How did it go from dating to having sex?

- Wait, hold on, because that's way more interesting

than her and pissy's story.

- We're not dating. He's .

- He's what?

- Years old! - He's years old.

Age.

He's not, like, a [bleep] boy.

He's, like, a mature man. - No, he's, like, mature.

- How [bleep] mature can you be at ?

- But she likes him.

She ice cubed her vag*na.

- Can you calm down?

- I have to tell. He's your brother.

- Do you still talk to Roger?

- Oh, [bleep], I think my phone called him by mistake just now.

- I will [bleep] crucify you.

- I'm not gonna say anything.

I don't even think the papers

are finished being printed for the divorce.

I mean, I'm not no relationship guru,

but Jenni's so good at giving advice,

I'm sure she knows exactly what she's doing.

- So, what else is going on in everybody's life?

- We're actually chill as [bleep] right now.

- Ron was saying you guys are thinking about moving.

- I mean, like, we're thinking about it.

[tense music]

We haven't made any moves yet to move.

- No.

- Where would you guys go? L.A.?

- He wants to do L.A. - Not L.A., California.

- I want Florida. - [gasps] That was my dream.

- I'll retire there when I'm .

- I love Florida.

♪ ♪

- [chuckles]

I mean, me and Chris have problems

about which house we wanna buy, not what state we wanna live in.

That's a little bit of an issue.

- I just want a house with a dock and a boat.

That's, like, my dream. I've always told him that.

We can't get that [bleep] in California.

♪ ♪

- When you first start recovery, you're like a newborn.

As long as you can, like, be that support system for him.

- Is somebody pouring shots, or do I need to?

I deserve one.

Do you want a shot? Do you guys want one?

- It's probably not a good idea.

- This is actually the first date

of Zack and I in the public.

- Hello, my love? - Hi.

[smooth hip-hop music]

- I've never visited someone in jail before, so...

- Me neither.

- Mike is actually in prison right now.

- Oh, my God, are those the prisoners?

- Oh, [bleep], no... - Oh, [bleep].

- I'm definitely nervous,

but I need to get up there and see him.

- This is crazy, dude.

- ♪ I raise my feet, I miss a beat ♪

♪ Throw my seat, don't care ♪

- What do you want a shot of? - Huh? Vodka.

I deserve one.

Do you want a shot? Do you guys want one?

- It's probably not a good idea.

I don't know.

- ♪ 'Cause I'm about to crack ♪

- Is somebody pouring shots, or do I need to?

- ♪ Don't you watch me now ♪

♪ Just turn around ♪

- Yeah! [laughs, applauds]

- ♪ Do it now ♪

♪ Walk right through that door ♪

- I don't ever get to spend time with you.

- I know. You guys are good?

- Yeah, everything is good.

Like, everything's super chill now.

You went through, like, kinda, like, what I'm going through.

- Yeah.

- It's just good, 'cause, like, he's just very calm now.

It's completely changed him.

And then, it's, like, changing me,

'cause I'm not on edge,

and I'm just, like-- everything's been really good.

- But listen, it's hard on him,

and it's hard on you...

- Yeah. - Because it's a new world...

- Yeah.

- And when you first start recovery,

you're like a newborn.

Sometimes, the relationship has to take a backburner.

Me and Mike stayed together,

but it's, like--it's not number one priority.

Number one priority is, like... - Yeah.

- Him finding out how to build a solid foundation,

so that then, it can be all about your future, your family.

I'm proud of him, you know? - Me too.

- It's one day at a time.

Oh, this is him. This is Mike.

- It is? - Yeah.

- Hello?

- Hello, can I speak to

the beautiful Mrs. Situation, please?

- Hi, honey. - Hi, honey.

I just wanted to call and say hello.

I also wanted to wish Ariana a happy birthday.

- Hi, Mike. - Angelina's here.

- Oh, it's Angelina. What's up?

- Hi. - Jenni's here.

- Tell Jenni and everybody I miss everybody so much.

I can't wait to see everybody.

- It's just really nice to hear his voice.

I'm trying to keep it together,

but hearing his voice, I'm just like, ah.

Is he treating thyself tomorrow?

- Jenni wants to know, are you treating thyself tomorrow?

[both chuckle] - Tomorrow is my cheat day.

- What's your cheat day consist of?

- Most likely, uh, Doritos...

- Ron! Mike's on the phone.

- Cheez Doodles, et cetera.

They make, like, pizza in here, but it's weird.

It's, like, prison pizza.

They make it with, like, a tortilla or something,

I don't know.

- If you make it in prison,

I'm pretty sure it's prison pizza, bro.

I mean, that's basically-- - Yeah.

- [laughs] What's up, bro?

- I wanted to wish a happy birthday to Ariana.

Uncle Sitch is sending positive vibes.

- Through the phone. I can feel them.

- I miss you guys. [laughter]

- All right, thank you, bro. Appreciate it, thank you.

You doing good, though?

I can't wait to see you in a couple of months.

- Yeah, I'm doing great, I'm doing great.

I think I might be home a little sooner than later...

- Good.

- And I'll be in very, very, very good shape.

And "The Situation" will no longer be...

both: Under construction. [laughter]

And I heard that you have a sponsor.

You're doing meetings... - Yeah.

- And you're working one day at a time with the program,

so I'm very proud of you.

- Thank you, thank you, thank you.

- It works if you work it, buddy.

- Yeah, I know. It's been good so far.

One day at a time. That's it. - All right, fantastic.

- Thank you, bro. Be good in there.

Me and Mike have become really close.

You know, we talked almost every day,

when I was going through my problems.

I'm looking forward to him being able to see me

become a better person.

- All right, enjoy yourself, honey.

When I get home, we're making tons of babies.

- Aww. [laughter]

- Okay, honey, I love you. - I love you.

- Mmm, we miss him.

♪ ♪

[bright electronic music]

- You like the ducks?

That's your thing? Ducks and chicken?

Quack, quack.

[phone beeping]

Oh, Uncle Pauly.

Ah, you waving? Hi.

Say hi.

She's so big, right?

[laughs]

Say, "Look at my hair? Look at your hair!" [laughs]

Look, she's got llamas

and freaking ducks.

Yeah. [laughs]

Yeah. [laughs]

All right, brother, be good. Thanks for calling me.

Ariana, say bye. - [chatters]

- Say bye.

- I love my life, I love touring the world,

but unfortunately, I miss big events, like Ariana's birthday.

But I have a special surprise on the way for her.

Yeah, buddy.

- [laughs] Later, bro.

[bright hip-hop music]

- ♪ We gonna be all right, we gonna be all right ♪

♪ Yeah, we gonna be all right ♪

- What's this? [chuckles]

- Oh! - Oh.

- Who's it from?

Oh... - Who else?

You know, Pauly couldn't be here,

but, you know, he was there for Ariana's birthday

in sticker faces.

- Yeah, buddy.

- How do you turn it on?

I can start my car, but I can't start this one? [bleep].

Is it, like, a keyless start or something? Like...

We're trying to start it, Lauren.

Can you help us?

It's not gonna fit. - What is that?

- Oh, you knocked over Pauly. - Oh, [bleep].

It takes, like, about three or four guidos

to get the Jeep inside.

No, it's not gonna fit.

- Why don't you put it in the garage?

- Go that way, Ronnie. Go that way.

- Guys, garage. - You're gonna break that.

- No? Okay.

- I don't care. - You have a garage.

- It's not gonna fit, huh?

- It won't.

♪ ♪

- Birthday girl. Yay!

- Oh! Oh, be still, my heart.

- Whoa, whoa, babe, babe, babe, babe, babe, babe.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

- Give Daddy some.

- [growls] - [laughs]

- She's just so happy. Aw.

- Thank you guys for coming.

- I love you. - It means a lot.

Kinda feels cool to have some of my Shore family here

to share this occasion,

just because this is what life is about,

and it feels good that they showed up

for their niece's birthday party.

- Happy birthday, cutie. - [chattering]

- Bye. - [laughs]

- Bye! Bye!

- Ronnie looks great.

He looks like Ron, not "Spiral Ron."

But Ron's next social media post better be positive.

- Have a safe flight, guys.

Tell I said hi. [laughs]

- Yes, Auntie.

[upbeat music]

- ♪ You lift me up, up, up ♪

- I feel like Ron did change, like, seeing him today.

- Ron looks really good.

- I told Jen that she can call me at any time,

like, for good, bad, indifferent.

- This trip definitely was something Lauren needed.

I got to know her a little bit more.

We got a couple of things aired out.

But, you know, family, sometimes they fight.

And I'm really happy that she came with us.

- Oh, no, I forgot to give them the gift.

[bleep] my life.

- Oh, no... - No.

- You left it in your bag?

- I did. I'm a dumbass.

Well, we're coming back next month.

- To see Vinny's p*nis in a--

what is it called? [laughter]

Banana hammock? - [mimics]

[playful music]

- ♪ Gi-gi-give me that money ♪

♪ Give me that money ♪

♪ Give me that-that money ♪

- Italians never go to a house empty-handed.

You always gotta bring food. - Okay, Keto Guido.

- ♪ Gi-gi-give me that money ♪

♪ Give me that money ♪

- Vinny, do you really have a man purse?

- This is called crossbody.

- Hey. - Hey.

- What's up? - Hey, girl, hey.

- We're missing Mike right now, while he's away,

and we need Lauren to get us that visitation hookup.

[cheering, overlapping chatter]

- Hi. - Good!

We're ready!

Usually, we're used to, like, club promoters

setting us up for, like, a VIP.

Now I need VIP seats to federal prison.

- You're gonna protect me, Mosey?

- You look so good. - Really?

- Yeah. - I feel awful.

- What's with the fanny pack? - Yes!

- I can't get over this fanny pack, this man purse.

- It's crossbody. [chuckles]

I hate hanging out with the girls on my own.

- What do you have in there?

- I have eye drops. I have ChapStick. I have...

- [lisps] "My driver's license."

[laughter]

- Help. Send help, please.

- Your speech changed after your teeth.

- [lisps] What? What'd I say? [laughter]

- Vinny has a lisp, because he just got his teeth done.

- Sally went to the-- Sally went to the seashore.

- We've noticed it for awhile,

but we all didn't wanna say anything,

'cause I know he's very self-conscious.

[chuckles]

- I did lisp, because I was in a lot of pain.

- Are your teeth still hurting you?

- No, no, no. Now that the pain's starting to subside, my--

[laughter] - Oh, yeah.

- He fights everybody.

He's like, "I don't have it anymore.

It was just because of pain."

I'm like, "Bro..."

- [lisps] What's up, ladies? [laughter]

- [laughs]

- I missed Vegas. How was Vegas?

- Oh, yeah, Vegas was fun.

- It was fun. It was a lot of fun.

- I know, I can't believe you went with them,

these crazy people.

- In hindsight, I can't believe we all went together either.

- We popped her cherry.

- Oh, yeah, how was the birthday?

- It was really nice. It was a really nice birthday.

She's so cute. - She's really cute.

- They had a petting zoo.

- How was Jen? - You know...

- They were on-- they were good together.

- So, do you think that they're on a good level,

like, a legit one?

Or that they're just doing it for show?

- Ron seems like he's doing really well,

but you never know,

[bleep] could hit the fan real quick with him.

- How's Mike doing? - He's fine.

He's in, like, really good shape already.

- We wanna visit Mike, and we don't know what to do,

so, we heard you had to give us paper or something.

- Yeah, I can give you the visitation forms.

You have to fill them out in full...

- Okay.

- And there's a background check,

so you have to tell the truth on it.

- What if you've been arrested before?

- Oh, God.

- Get the [bleep] off. Get off.

No, I don't wanna be in trouble. No.

- It was self-defense, bro. Like, honestly?

- Oh, hold on, let me call Ronnie.

[phone trilling]

Yo!

[laughter]

- Loser! [laughter]

- A fanny pack! [laughter]

- Just when we thought we couldn't make fun of him enough.

- Good job, Ron.

- They don't understand swag.

I mean, fanny packs are in.

It's designer, and it's very functional.

It holds all my [bleep].

Bro, so, we're here, filling out these visitor information forms.

We're gonna go visit Mike.

- Have you been convicted of anything?

- Because, boy, you've got fine written all over you.

[laughter]

- "Are you currently on probation, parole,

or any other type of supervision?"

[laughter]

- Anyway, well, talk to you later. [chuckles]

They're gonna put Ronnie in jail

if they do his background check.

- What's the process of, like, getting in?

- So-- - Is it a strip search?

'Cause I'm good at stripping.

- Relax, "Chippendales." Relax, "Chippendales."

- How many times a week do you go do it?

- Three days a week. - Stripping?

- Well, it's hosting.

- But I thought you were stripping.

- It's hosting. Well, I'm gonna take off my shirt.

Angelina, calm down. Don't worry. I will.

- Oh, okay, Vinny.

- I know you wanna see it. - No, I don't.

- Mama Paula wants to come, so I am taking her.

- You're not taking my mom to "Chippendales."

- I am taking your mom. - No.

- I swear on everything. - No. No.

She's not going to the show.

- I'm taking her gambling, and to see her son onstage.

I am so excited.

- She wants to get it in. - Let her get it in.

- Yo, I swear to God, I'm gonna jump out this window.

- She's gonna see you strip onstage, you and your man purse.

[laughter]

- I think she's moving too fast.

She had, like, a three-hour break between her and Roger

before she moved on.

I'm gonna talk to JWoww about her new guy,

because it is so quick, and he is so young.

She's just gonna end up dating this kid, ruining his life.

- Or the other way around. Or the other way around.

- ♪ I've been out here with my 'migos ♪

♪ Yeah, we trying to eat ♪

♪ Hustle on these streets ♪

♪ You know we do our thing ♪

- Hi, Vinny. - What's up, Pauly D?

- Ah, what's good, my guy?

Yo, I like when my boyfriend picks me up.

Yo, if you asked me five years ago,

if I ever thought we'd be taking this drive

to go visit Mike in prison,

I would say you're crazy.

- Right? - [chuckles]

So, I'm in New York right now for a gig,

but before I go spin, we gotta visit Mike.

It's surreal right now.

I just can't believe I'm going to visit Mike in prison.

- I've never visited someone in jail before, so...

- Me neither, but I've watched "Goodfellas."

- Yeah.

- You get strip-searched, that would be good practice

for this "Chippendales." - True.

- Have you been practicing your helicopter?

- Yep. I almost got it down.

I can go counterclockwise now.

- That's what's up.

- ♪ Makes me feel all right ♪

♪ Make me do what I want to ♪

♪ Make me feel it all night ♪

- So, our roommates, dude,

like, you can't even make this [bleep] up.

There's so much going on.

Jenni has a young boy toy... - Oh, word?

- Named , 'cause he's -years-old.

- Oh, damn.

- Ever since I've known Jenni, she's had a boyfriend.

After going through all this relationship drama,

and people extorting you,

and divorce and custody battles and court,

like, don't you wanna be single?

I'd be running the other way from relationships

after that [bleep], not trying to get back in one.

- All right, all right.

So, it's not single Jenni then?

- I don't think it's ever single Jenni.

We never knew a single Jenni. - No.

Damn, where are we?

Yo, which way to prison?

- Wow, Otisville Correctional Facility.

- This is crazy, dude.

- "Federal..."

both: "Correctional Institution."

- He's in an institution.

- You can't even spell institution.

- I can't even say institution.

- Damn, we're here, bro.

- Oh, my God, are those the prisoners?

- Oh, [bleep].

- Oh, [bleep]. They're playing B-ball.

- Yo, we got next.

I'm definitely nervous, but, like, I wanna see his face.

I want him to see me.

We're his family,

and, uh, I need to get up there and see him.

[solemn piano music]

[car door closes]

♪ ♪

- ♪ I been told like blowing smoke out the gate ♪

♪ Man I been top shelf since champagne was French ♪

[door closes] - Hey, girl!

- Is my baby here yet?

- What, this thing? No.

I'm miserable.

- I was actually gonna ask Zack to Vegas.

[laughs]

- He has a name!

- It's weird, I actually really prefer .

- Yeah, I like better. - [laughs]

- !

Stop! You're so smitten. - [giggles]

- I've never seen you like this.

- [giggles] - You're living your real...

- I can't stop smiling. Stop.

- I feel like you're catching feelings,

and that's not a bad thing.

- I am flooded with emotions,

because I actually never thought I was gonna be

madly in love with somebody ever again,

but I'm praying it's gonna be good.

I think he's getting on his flight.

- He's coming now? - He said to call him.

Should I FaceTime him? You wanna say hi?

- No, I'm scared. Stop.

- [laughs]

Hi. Meet my best friend,Nicole,

because she's pregnant, and she can't go anywhere.

- I think Jenni's falling in love with you.

- [laughs]

- Jenni looks happy.

There's, like, a glowy about her.

Oh, my God, I can't believe I said that.

I feel like we've seen her stressed and annoyed

for so many years with Roger,

so the fact that this is a whole new Jenni,

and she's outgoing, and she's just always in a good mood,

I'm so happy for her.

Love you!

- [chuckles, mumbles]

[dynamic bass music]

♪ ♪

- Whoo. - So wild to see him like that.

♪ ♪

- That was not what I was expecting.

- Very...informal,

low security type place, though.

- Prisoners are right there, just chilling.

- Yeah.

Like, I could bust Mike out right now.

- Yeah, that one guy can just hop in my car.

- Yeah. I'm happy that he's doing good.

- He said it was like military camp.

- Yes.

- I mean, you know, I never thought

that I'd be seeing Mike in a green prison jumpsuit...

- Yeah.

- So it did become real once you saw it...

- Yes.

- But, you know, I'm glad he's doing well.

- But he was so calm, so relaxed.

Somebody does his laundry in there.

And he gets a haircut twice a week...

- Yep.

- He works out every day for two hours.

Eats what he wants.

- It seemed like the only thing that he didn't--

like, he wants is going home to Lauren...

- Yep. - And being home. That's it.

Like, nothing else is really bothering him.

- Nope.

Being away has to be hard.

Locked up or not, Mike has always had a positive attitude.

I hope he keeps it that way.

And I'm happy for him, and I'm proud

that he's gonna put this journey behind him.

They're all in their own little world in there, huh?

- Yeah. - It's still prison.

- Damn, like, now we're back in the real world,

and he has to stay up there.

- I know, the saddest part for me

was him not being able to just walk out with us.

- Yeah. Yeah.

- ♪ The damage is done ♪

- ♪ Young boy way too dope ♪

♪ Whole lot of smoke ♪

[Raphael Lake and Wesley Smith's "Way Too Dope"]

- Um, Christopher... [items clinking]

- These are dishes that you forgot to do.

- I'm gonna do it later. [phone jingling]

- Hello?

- Yo, what up, Ang? - Hi.

- If you guys are home, I'm gonna come by.

- Yeah, come by. We're, like, not doing anything.

- So, I call Angelina right now,

just to check in there and see how she's doing,

because I'm in town, and I wanna just catch up.

All right, I'll be right there.

- All right, see you soon. Bye.

Oh, yeah, I don't think

we should be drinking this in front of Ron.

Chug it. I love this wine.

- ♪ So, let's just take off to the horizon ♪

♪ Keep on trying ♪

♪ Till we find what we're looking for ♪

- I can't drink like I used to.

[doorbell rings]

And Ron is here.

- What's up? - Hey.

- How are you? - Hey.

I have to tell you, you looked really happy at the birthday.

The baby was so cute.

- Yeah, the baby, she had such a good time.

[blowing raspberries, laughter]

- She's so cute. - I always wanted a girl.

- He wants a baby, like, right now.

- You gotta have sex to have kids, though.

- Exactly. - Ron...

- I'm just saying, you do. - Stop it.

Jenni was saying that I shouldn't marry Chris,

because I resent him,

and that's why I'm not having sex with him.

Is that true?

- This is the most sex Jenni's had in, like, nine years.

- She tells me that she bangs that kid , times a day.

Is that even possible?

- Angelina, just 'cause you guys have sex once a year

doesn't mean that everyone else does too, okay?

- You a*s[bleep].

- Peanut gets laid more than you.

- [bleep] you. Peanut, stop.

- [laughs]

♪ ♪

- ♪ Just another morning in my life ♪

♪ Seven missed calls 'cause of something ♪

- This is actually the first date

of Zack and I in the public.

- ♪ Just to work for the man ♪

- I'm already extra nervous,

because Zack is [bleep] hot, like, really hot,

and he's really intimate, and I love that.

- Sure, I think this is him.

- Yeah, Zack, the one that they're posting about now.

Yeah, that's him.

- Yeah, that's who she moved on to.

- I didn't want a relationship,

because I was so basically scorned,

but, like, I never thought I was gonna find someone like him.

- I didn't know she was gonna be in a full-blown,

like, boyfriend-girlfriend relationship with this guy.

- He really just started, like, making it apparent

that he wants to be part of my, like, everyday life.

So, I just hope he's willing to go to Vegas with my roommates,

because I'm in this relationship %,

and I hope he is too.

- We'll see what happens,

'cause once you start bringing somebody into our world

that's not used to it,

that's when all the fun starts.

- Hello, my love. - Hi.

♪ ♪

Are those for me? - They are.

- Thanks.

Where can we put them?

♪ ♪

- Thank you.

- Want some? - I do. Please.

- [laughs]

How was your day? - Day was great.

Just come to see you.

- Um... - Do you want any...

- What, bread? - Yeah.

- No. I gotta stay in shape.

I have a -year-old boyfriend now.

Everyone actually loves the name that--

Nicole--even I kinda like it.

- What name?

- I kinda gave you a nickname

to all my roommates.

.

- That's what you called me?

- [laughs] Yeah.

- And that's funny to you?

- You like that? - You're [bleep] hilarious.

Wow. - .

- Yeah, stop calling me that.

- [laughs]

- Wow, you just k*lled that?

- Sorry. [laughs]

Nervous. - What's going on?

- I wanted to just ask you something.

I wanted to actually invite you to Vegas

to meet some of my roomies next week.

- Next week? - Yeah.

[suspenseful music]

- Is that really what you want?

♪ ♪

[lively techno music]

- Oh, yeah.

I've been dying to have my boyfriend in Las Vegas,

and this is the best day of my life.

Welcome to Las Vegas, you chooch.

There's my chooch!

What the [bleep]?

Bro, you can't strip like that.

[upbeat music]

- I wanted to invite youto Vegas

to meet some of my roomies next week.

- Next week? - Yeah.

♪ ♪

- Is that really what you want?

- Yeah. - Then let's do it.

- Would you? - Yep. Let's do it.

[gentle music]

- I'd love to. - Good.

- Yeah. We're gonna have a great trip.

Just please be prepared.

I am so happy that is able to come to Vegas,

but I'm a little anxious, because when you date me,

you date eight of me.

This is big for me, because, honestly,

I was so hardcore, like, "I'm never dating again,"

cut to bringing someone in front of my roommates.

- It's probably something you never thought

you would be redoing. - Hell no.

- ♪ Love is a risk ♪

♪ One that I wanna take ♪

♪ Can you believe in love? ♪

♪ Show me some faith ♪

- Do you think she's moving too fast?

- Yeah, I do. I wanna talk to her and let her know

that she needs to-- she needs to enjoy life.

Be single.

Like, go travel the world or something.

Like, that's who she is,

and she needs to just let it out and, like--

'cause if not, she's just gonna end up dating this poor kid,

ruining his life.

- Or the other way around. Or the other way around.

- You know, I am a little worried

that is a rebound guy,

because it is so quick, and he is so young.

Just take your time, live life, enjoy yourself.

Be JWoww.

She had, like, a three-hour break between her and Roger

before she moved on.

Problem was that she decided to get married

at the peak of her career,

and a lot of us,

we took advantage of all the opportunities,

whether it was traveling.

We got to grow and live our lives,

and Jenni stayed where she was.

And now she has that opportunity,

and she's just gonna go crazy.

I just wanna make sure that, you know,

he has the right intentions and that she's not rushing it.

I feel like if it was me,

Jenni would have this conversation with me.

- Stop saying, "Child support."

Say, "I love this [bleep]. She's my girl."

You put her on a pedestal in this house

and outside this house.

- I would've figured that she would've been,

like, dating many people.

[funky hip-hop music]

[pleasant electronic music]

- Why are you so red? - [mumbles, laughs]

- [chuckles]

- I mean, now you're mine.

- Am I yours? - Yeah.

- Totally? Me and you, that's it?

- She really--oh...

- Hey, are you listening? - Yes.

- Okay. - Yes, I'm listening.

- Let's redo that. I'm yours totally?

- Totally mine. - Good.

- Vice versa? - Absolutely.

- Okay.

- [laughs] Good.

- Zack is very intimate.

As long as we stay this course and he keeps me this happy,

I'm in this relationship %.

- Let's do a cheers. - Okay?

- Now we're together.

- If there are any red flags,

like, literally any of my intuition kicking in,

saying, "Don't go there," I wouldn't.

- Good.

♪ ♪

- I don't know the kid. I'm not gonna talk bad.

I'm just watching her back,

because we've seen what happens,

we know who's out there, and it's, like...

- Yeah.

- Jenni is doing things people do when they're in love.

I know that better than anyone else.

But, usually, it's instant gratification.

It's not real.

- But you can't tell her any of this,

because she'll be like, "No--" she'll, like, tell you

a whole song and dance, you know what I mean?

- She's in love. She's in love.

You can't tell anybody anything when they're in love.

- You're cute.

I also like how you printed pictures of us in your house.

- I did do that.

- Aw. That's not normal.

- Neither am I, so...

♪ ♪

- ♪ Feel my heartbeat ♪

♪ ♪

♪ Feel my heartbeat ♪

♪ ♪

♪ Feel my heartbeat ♪

- I have laundry.

- Pizza and chicken cutlets?

- This is a sendoff. - I can't eat that now.

Ma, get this away from me.

- I have been working out and dieting non-stop

to get to this moment.

It's my favorite, but I can't do it.

People think that it's easy being a stripper.

It takes a lot of work, a lot of dedication,

a lot of sacrifice.

I gotta shave my a*s.

Have you ever shaved an a*s before?

It's not fun.

- Let me help you, Vinny,

'cause you filled up a whole suitcase

with two things, Vin.

The underwear you should put separate.

You don't need these.

You're bringing heavy things for Las Vegas.

Towels? They have towels in the hotel?

You're only bringing one pair of shorts?

Is there a gym there?

You're gonna be careful, right, Vin?

We don't know doctors there.

We don't know if there's hospitals.

- Ma, Las Vegas has hospitals and doctors.

- Where are you, Paula? Where's he going?

- I'm going to Vegas. - What are you doing here?

He's going to work. - Can I help you with something?

- Can I come and visit you? - No.

This is not a vacation, all right?

This is a big opportunity for me.

I don't want anyone stressing me out.

- It's work. - But I'm--[stammers]--

I'm serious. - No, you will blow it for me.

Every time you're around,

you can get me fired from somewhere.

Listen, I have to just take this seriously.

I wanna, like, really do a good job here, okay?

So, I need to clear my head,

so I'm gonna go play basketball, Ma, okay?

- You are?

- Yeah, I want one more workout in, because--

- Why don't you rest, though, before you go, Vin.

- Ma, no days off.

Well, I'll talk to you guys later.

- No, look how skinny his legs are.

Vin, your legs are so skinny.

- ♪ This is the life ♪

♪ Even if the world stops turning ♪

♪ The party keeps burning ♪

♪ We'll all be celebrating tonight ♪

- I already have all hands on.

I have some people sleeping over to help you out.

I'm packing for Vegas,

and I'm excited, 'cause I can't wait to see my roomies

and support Vinny.

But I haven't left CJ yet,

so this is gonna be hard leaving him.

Promise me you'll call me if you need anything,

or if there's anything.

- I will call you if we need you,

but you're gonna spend your whole time worrying about us,

and not enjoying being with all your roommates.

- No, I know.

I'm just--I'm gonna miss you, that's all.

I know you guys are gonna be fine.

- ♪ You're the only king I know ♪

♪ Even though you got bread, you can always get more ♪

♪ 'Cause it's all about the money, money, money ♪

♪ All about the money, money, money ♪

♪ I do this for my hustlers that hustle all day ♪

♪ My struggle is I know all the customers for a man ♪

♪ 'Cause it's all about the money, money, money ♪

- Oh, yeah.

♪ ♪

Welcome to Las Vegas, you chooch.

Yo, where you at, you big chooch?

- I'm, uh, coming down the ramp right now.

- All right, 'cause I'm at T .

- All right.

- You're a chooch, and you're a stripper.

- I need help with my bags.

- Oh, I got your bags, don't worry.

We know I'm the muscle in this relationship.

- Bye. - Bye.

- [chuckles] I guess I can do this.

- Where is this chooch?

[slow brass music]

- Oh, this is pretty lit.

I suffered a serious ankle sprain,

like, literally the day before coming out here...

I wanna get one more workout in,

so I'm gonna go play basketball, Ma, okay?

- You are?

- [voice modulates] So I'm gonna go play basketball, Ma.

So I'm gonna go play basketball, Ma.

[cart squeaking]

Right before one of the biggest weeks of my life,

my debut on a Vegas stage.

And, uh, I haven't told anybody.

- Where is this chooch? I don't have all day.

[percussive music]

♪ ♪

[indistinct PA announcements]

[dynamic percussive music]

♪ ♪

Where is this male exotic dancer?

♪ ♪

There's my chooch!

What the [bleep] is that?

- I sprained my ankle, bro...

- How? - Playing basketball.

- You're a stripper.

I got you a flag and everything.

How are you gonna strip with that?

- I don't know, we'll talk about it.

Let's just get this stuff in my car.

- Is this part of your act? Give me this.

Right now, Vinny looks so ridiculous.

Bro, you can't strip like that.

If I see Vinny in a strip club like that,

I'm gonna want my money back.

So, yeah, so, what are you gonna do

with this ankle situation now, bruh?

- I'm just hoping by the weekend,

I'll be able to pull it together.

- [bleep], did you let them know?

- Not yet. - Oh, no.

- I'm expecting the worst, you know?

I don't know what they're gonna say.

I don't know if they even want me.

I'm seriously worried that "Chippendales"

is not going to wanna do this anymore.

I'm their host, you know, their lead performer.

How am I gonna do this?

- You [bleep] up your stripper career before you even started.

- I know. - Handicapped stripper.

Or maybe they'll feel bad for you and give you more one's.

[both laugh]

[hip-hop music]

- "Jersey Shore: Family Vacation"!

Oh, yeah! - Whoo!

- Whoo! - Oh, yeah!

- I'm excited. My family out here in Las Vegas.

- Vinny!

- I don't know how to work this thing. All right.

[all yelling] - That's as*ault!

- Angelina and Vinny are already going at it.

- [screams]

[yelling, laughter]

- Why is there powder? - We need it for your b*ll s*ck.