03x05 - Sliding Into Angelina's DMs

[bunniefuu]

- So we got everybody coming out here.

Is Jen gonna come around?

- Um, she just really doesn't wanna see the roommates anymore.

- Okay.

- We're in viva Las Vegas.

- To "Jersey Shore: Family Vacation"!

- Whoo! - Oh, yeah!

- And Vinny stripping!

- Vinny's a stripper.

We gotta bet for something on this.

The loser has to oil Vinny up before his show.

all: Oh! - [screams]

[laughter]

[all cheering] - Take it off!

- I'm not doing it.

- You got to. You lost the bet.

- You really have to have clothes underneath that.

[yelling, laughter]

Vinny! Ah!

- [laughs] Jesus.

- ♪ Get crazy, get wild

♪ Let's party, get loud - Yeah, buddy!

- ♪ If you wanna have fun, then do something ♪

- Party's here!

- The Situation is under construction.

- This might not have been the best idea.

- We're so classy now.

- On the seventh day, it'll be lit.

- Get the frig out of here, you crazy!

- Um, hello?

- ♪ If you wanna have fun, then do something crazy ♪

[techno music]

- ♪ Get dirty, get dirty

- Am I really oiling this kid?

- Yeah. You lost the bet.

- I know. - That's it.

- All right, I'm putting my hair up, and I'm doing it.

- Whoo! Yeah.

- Hi, is this concierges?

I need a lot of towels, please.

- I'm ready to do this.

- Should I get on your back?

- When my "Jersey Shore" family gets together,

there's always something going on.

- Like I'm going into "Mortal Kombat."

- I'm getting up for this.

- Angelina, the queen of self-sabotage, lost again,

in a high-stakes game of Jenga...

- Oh, Vincenzo?

- Where the loser gets to oil up Vinny...

- I can't believe she's doing it.

- I'm ready.

- So right now, it's about to go down.

- Let me have the Keto Guido to the main stage, please.

- Whoo!

- Remember, everybody,

the more you throw, the more he shows.

- I lost the bet,

so now I have to oil this kid up.

- It's about to get messy, ladies and gentlemen!

[yelling, laughter]

- Can you hold my engagement ring while I do this?

My fiancé told me

not to touch Vinny on this vacation...

- Better behave yourself. - Yeah, I'm--I'm good.

But I'm a woman of my word.

I say I'm gonna do a bet, I'm gonna do a bet.

- She's a squirter, bro. - This is great.

Ooh...

all: Ooh...

[slow orchestral music]

So seductive!

- Stupid. - Yeah, get down there.

- There you go. - Oh, yeah, get down there.

- Gotta use the whole bottle. - [bleep].

- All right, calm down, calm yourself.

Angelina oils Vinny up, and, I'm sorry,

she was going a little too overboard

when she has a freakin' fiancé.

- ♪ Sex, sex, lies, and videotape ♪

♪ Sex, sex, lies, and videotape ♪

- Angelina's enjoying this too much.

Vinny's enjoying this too much.

Like, we can go downstairs,

and they can have the room to themself.

- ♪ I close my eyes, do it all again ♪

- Angelina, Vinny's Johnson

doesn't get shown during the show.

Like, you don't need to go down there.

- I think we got it. - All right, good.

- At least you're nice and moisturized for tonight.

- Yes.

- [rhythmic grunting]

I feel like someone just birthed me.

- ♪ We charged up, way, way turnt up ♪

- That [bleep]'s still swollen. - I know.

I do these, like, exercises to strengthen it.

- That's what you're supposed to do?

- Actually, you're supposed to do

the whole alphabet with your foot.

A, B, C...

- What if you don't know the alphabet?

Hi, Deeners. - Hi. How you feeling?

- I'm nursing it back to health,

so you guys can watch me strip.

- Good.

I'm excited to be here to support you.

- Thank you.

I'm glad you're all here. It means a lot.

- I traveled all the way here.

- minutes. [chuckles]

- About that gas money, though,

do I get that from you or Chippendales?

- [chuckles]

- Where's Ronaldo,

in his suite? - Yeah.

[phone chimes]

- [sighs]

- He's being a little quiet.

- Yeah. Something's going on in his phone.

[solemn music]

- We all have, like, PTSD

from our last trip to Vegas with Ron and Jen.

He's put us through so much that every time he's quiet,

he's buried in his phone, we're all like,

"Oh, my God, what's going on with him and Jen?"

[phone swoops, keys clacking]

- You think they're good?

- They said they were.

You're good with your relationship and everything?

- Yeah, me and Jen are good, bro.

- Status is good? - Yeah, we're good.

We haven't been fighting.

- But I don't know. It's weird.

- At the table, I asked him

if we were gonna see her and the baby,

and he said, "Yeah, probably."

- But he told me that she don't wanna be around us at all.

- The two worlds just continue to collide.

I have my life with her, and I have my life with you guys.

- [inhales, exhales]

- It's weird.

[phone swoops, keys clacking]

Maybe they're going back and forth.

- I don't know anymore. [chuckles]

Like, I don't know what to say,

'cause you never know, you just never know.

- That's one thing I do know:

it's unpredictable. [both chuckle]

- One thing I do know is that I don't know anything.

I wish that we could just find out

what is happening to Ronnie,

but, clearly, Ron has a pattern

of keeping a lot of stuff quiet and not opening up

and then kinda, like, wait to explode

and everything comes out.

It's either, like, all or nothing with him.

- You think she'll try and ruin his time?

- Probably. [laughs] - She always does.

♪

- Maybe she'll show up. - Hopefully not.

- [clears throat]

We'll see what happens,

but things could get ugly, for sure.

[phone swooping]

♪

- Let's go eat.

- All right, I'll start getting ready.

- ♪ Fresh jeans, fresh jeans

♪ Fresh kicks, fresh kicks - ♪ Okay

- ♪ Fresh jeans, fresh jeans - ♪ Yep

[phone swoops, keys clacking]

- ♪ Fresh kicks, fresh kicks - ♪ Yep

- ♪ Fresh jeans, fresh jeans - ♪ Yeah

- It's just annoying. It's always like I always lose.

[phone chimes]

[phone swoops, chimes]

- I guess it's T-shirt time,

since you already have your T-shirt on.

- Bring out the chain, cuz.

- Oh, this guy got a chain now. Oh, guy got a chain now.

Guy's a stripper. He got a chain now.

Did you buy that chain with your stripper money?

- [chuckles] You know, got a little chain

but expensive chain, you know?

[bleep].

Let's compare.

- That [bleep] is tight, though. I like that.

[Mucho Dinero's "Fresh Jeans Fresh Kicks"]

Is that chain an extra small? - No.

About the same size.

- Yo, if you take your chain

and you add water to it

and you give it sunlight...

- Turns into that.

- Give it some air, let it grow,

boom, it'll flourish into a full-grown chain.

It's, like, little,

but it's enough to pop, you know?

- I can never go bigger. - Nah.

It's like your body: it's little,

but it's enough to pop. [chuckles]

Yo, that chain's shredded, son.

- Instagram versus reality. - [laughs]

This chain's keto. This chain's not.

- Pauly's chain took a [bleep]

and this came out.

- The before and the after.

Yo, he "chain-ged."

Wait... - What?

- God, I've missed you!

- I'm ready.

Is that a new chain? - Mm-hmm.

- Look at this kid with a V on it around his neck.

- I know. - V stands for victory.

- I thought it stands for vag*na.

- I was just gonna say that. [laughter]

- Yo, let's roll out. Let's do this.

- ♪ All out like Janet at the Super Bowl ♪

- I want all of you to look down

at your feet and ankles

and cherish them.

- I can't believe I'm in Vegas right now.

- Bro, this Italian restaurant's so good.

The food's amazing, but the wine is, like, something else.

- You know I'm a wine-a-holic. - We were lit off this wine.

Yeah, it's always weird doing a family dinner

without the whole family, you know what I'm saying?

- Jenni is coming tomorrow,

and then her new man, , is coming on Friday.

- Wait, is Jenni and gonna sleep in the same bed?

- I think so - Awkward!

- What if they [bleep] in your bed?

'Cause supposedly, she bangs him, like, times a day.

Nobody ever has sex that much in life.

- Speak for yourself. - Oh, stop, Vinny.

- They don't call me Pauly D for nothing. [chuckling]

Oh, look at my man right there.

Oh, [bleep], look at my man right there.

- Oh, look at you! - Ah, [bleep].

- [mouths word] Is that Vinny?

- [laughs] - Vinny!

That's our brother! We know him!

- I was like, "Look at my man right there."

- Oh, my God, did I just see that?

- When you have a billboard in Vegas, it's so dope.

Like, the whole world is here

to party and to have a good time,

and for you to be headlining a show,

it feels--it feels awesome.

- Oh, yay, we're passing it.

- Oh, [bleep]. [chuckles]

- Vinny went from going to law school

to being a stripper on a billboard.

I'm so proud.

It's like, "Wow, like, bro, you made it."

- That's our brother. - Don't hate.

- Yo, that's my man right there.

- Oh, [bleep].

- She messaged you right now? - Really?

- Yeah. - Oh, damn.

- Something's definitely going on.

[phone chimes]

- Nice to see you, Ron.

So are they fighting? Ron?

- Well, Angelina has a DM from Jen I'm trying to see.

- Oh, yes! - What do you have from Jen?

- Jen messaged me on Instagram

telling me that Ronnie has been missing.

She doesn't know where he is.

She hasn't spoken to him for a week.

- Oh, God. - What'd I miss?

- Ron--Ronnie's here.

- Like, what is really going on right now?

[dramatic musical flourish]

- ♪ Everybody's watching

♪ And if we lose control

- Are we close? - Yeah.

Bro, this Italian restaurant's so good.

The food's amazing, but the wine is, like, something else.

- Is this the wine that you guys were, like, dying laughing on?

- Yeah. - Oh, exciting.

- Oh, I can't wait to have that.

- Hi, how are you?

- This is the place that, like, got everyone lit

off of this, like, crazy wine.

- I feel funny.

- Like, I can't even look at you straight right now.

I was, like, seeing six of you.

[laughter]

- We're definitely high.

- It was magic wine, that's for sure.

We were all lit off that wine.

I wish we got that same waitress, because she was like,

"One for you now, and one for 'deener.'"

Like, Deena's here?

- [accented speech] This is your appetizer,

and I got one more for dinner.

- For Deener? - Deena?

- Deena's here?

- She's like, "One for now, and one for 'dinner.'"

- [laughs]

- She was like, "Deener."

- Oh, my God, she's here.

- Hello, everyone. How are you doing tonight?

Oh, are you gonna start with that?

How are you doing tonight? Welcome back, guys.

- We brought "Deener." - This is "Deener."

- Hi. - How are you?

- This is Deener. - Oh, nice to meet you.

- Nice to meet you. - Welcome back, guys.

- Oh, no. Please be a good sport.

We're not making fun of you. We love you.

- Nice to see you again.

- I'm just so happy to be at this "deener" with Deener,

and now that the waitress is right here,

I hope she doesn't put anything in our "deener."

[laughs]

- We can start with your favorite wine.

- Yes, please.

- All right, let me get that for you.

- Thank you.

I'm super excited about this wine

everybody keeps telling me about,

and I'm a wine connoisseur.

I know my wines, all of them:

Cabernet, Pinot Grigio,

and...um...

there's a lot more too, but I--I'll be here all day.

Ooh, swish it around. - Mm-hmm.

- I'm a wine "condisseur."

- "Conda-saur"?

- That's not the word? - Oh, yes.

- There's no D in it. It's just connoisseur.

- What is it? - Connoisseur.

- Sorry, Deena,

but a wine "conda-saur" originated before Christ

along with the pterodactyls and the raptors.

[both laugh]

- You're not supposed to hold the wine like that.

The temperature of your hand warms up the wine.

- Like, are we in a winery right now?

I'm in an Italian restaurant. - Yeah, is this a wine tasting?

- If I wanna drink my wine like this,

I'm gonna drink my wine like that.

- Why does he have to always break your ba*ls?

- I--sometimes it's not critique

if you're just saying a fact.

- Okay, and I'm saying a fact. [bleep] yourself.

[laughter] - Ooh, that's a good fact.

How long you guys been dating?

- [chuckles]

- He doesn't wanna admit it to you guys,

but he's asked me on dates.

- What? - Oh, here we go.

- I've never asked you on a date.

- In high school. In high school.

- I never talked to you in high school.

- [bleep] off.

- I didn't talk to girls in high school.

- Here we go again.

Angelina saying she knew Vinny back in the day

and Vinny still denying it and I'm like...[sighs]

"Can I get the chicken parm?

I'm over you two."

- In reality, you wouldn't even look my way back then.

- Oh, my God, if I wouldn't look your way

when I was younger, why am I in a picture with you?

all: Ooh...

- How about that fact? - Really?

- Where's the picture?

- You want me to show it to you? - Yeah.

- Wait, hold on...

[hip-hop music]

- So what's up now, partner? - It's you.

Don't [bleep] go there, all right?

I'll [bleep] go in on you right now.

- I'm kind of buying Angelina's story.

I mean, at this point, it seems like maybe Vinny and Angelina

could've worked out in high school.

They could've been, like, high school sweethearts all along.

- [chuckles] Wow. - Wow, you guys were dating.

You guys look like a couple there.

- There was this girl that I was trying to get with

and then Angelina was there

and she knew that girl.

Just because you're in one picture with somebody

does not mean that you're best friends with them.

Angelina, calm down.

- I just find it funny that you didn't mention this to us,

that you were dating Angelina. - I forgot.

I take pictures with all my fans.

[laughter]

- All right.

Vinny, you're such an a*s[bleep].

- What about your friends, the other ones?

- They're not here... - Aww.

- Because Nicole, she's pregnant.

- Oh, she's pregnant?

- Yeah, she's about to have her baby.

And Mike's in jail.

- Really? - Yeah.

- Oh, my God. - But he's almost out.

- All right. - It's a nice jail.

- [laughs] Wow, this sounds so [bleep] weird.

- Aww.

- I think, as a tribute to Mike,

we should order one of everything on that dessert menu,

one of everything on the menu.

- What do they have? - There you go.

- We'll do one of every-- of everything.

- All right. Good choice.

- He used to order everything on the menu.

- I'll get the sakura roll

and the shrimp salmon roll,

the albacore sashimi,

and then I'll have the lamb chops.

Does it come with French fries?

- So much to choose from here today.

I'm gonna do the ménage à trois.

I'll try the horseradish garlic crust.

I would like some Voodoo fries.

Let's get the lobster mac and cheese as well.

- Literally ordering everything.

- What about the hot or cold cream puffs?

- It's up to you.

- It's got kalamata in the hot one.

- Yeah, but you still have your meal too.

- I would like a small Caesar, small Caesar, small Caesar,

before my entrées.

- Holy cannoli.

- Oh, my God, tiramisu's my favorite.

- I don't know what to do.

- Holy cheesecake.

Holy chocolate thing.

[both laugh]

- Yo, right here, to Mike "The Situation."

- Oh, I was gonna do a whole-- - Free bestie!

[soft solemn music]

♪

- Who farted? Vinny!

Vinny, come the frig on.

- It was you. It was you. - That's disgusting.

- That was, like, a while ago.

- You disgust. You raunch. - [groans]

- You are such a disgust.

Like, he's the worst.

- I usually don't even eat after : p.m.

The Keto Guido is on a certain regimen.

When I hang out with my roommates,

things go awry a little bit.

I'm in Italian restaurants at midnight.

I don't even know what's in the ingredients and [bleep].

So I'm gonna fart.

- You're disgusting. - Oh, man, I smell it.

- You're gross. - No, you don't.

- Again he did it. I smell it again.

- No, I don't.

- Vinny, oh, my God, it is so bad.

- I have never smelt anything worse

than Vinny's keto farts.

They are the worst.

Take your little scooter and go over there.

- Yeah, good-bye, Vinny,

you smelly [bleep] farting [bleep].

[laughter]

- Where are you going, to take a [bleep]?

- No. [laughter]

Gonna have to go in the corner.

- Where you going? - I told him to go over there.

- That's one lonely stripper. [laughter]

- ♪ No stopping us

♪ It's going down tonight

[bass-heavy dance music]

- ♪ They call me Mr. Vegas, Vegas, Vegas, Vegas ♪

♪ This is all I know

♪ I won't let go

♪ I'm addicted

♪ And I love it

♪ Eat, drink, sleep, crush

♪ Eat, drink, sleep, crush

- It's time to wake up. We're gonna get breakfast.

You wanna order in or eat out? - Eat out.

- [chuckling] Whoa, okay, brah.

♪

- Who is that? - You cheated.

You're in bed with another man.

- Good morning, Pauly. - Morning.

- I'm so tired. Where's Vinny?

- He's a stripper. - Yeah, I know.

Had to oil him up yesterday. I'm grossed out.

- You cheated.

You're gonna have to find a new fiancé after that.

It's going down today.

Prank-w*r champion defending his title.

[light instrumental music]

[line trilling]

I don't want Vinny to know.

[shushes] He's over there.

I got Uncle Nino coming to Vinny's show

to perform in his Speedo

at Chippendales onstage.

- Please leave your message for...

- Yeah, this is Uncle Nino. Leave me a message.

- Uncle Nino, it's me.

I hope you're on your way. Hope you got your Speedo.

I can wait to see you. Hit me up as soon as you get in.

Love you, my dude.

Prank-w*r champion.

All I need is a picture of Vinny's face

when he sees his uncle in Las Vegas at his show.

Yeah, buddy!

- ♪ Wham, bam, here I am

♪ Goddess of the glitter and glam ♪

♪ Yes, catch your breath

♪ Don't know what you got till it's gone ♪

- Oh, [bleep] with this [bleep] thing.

I have to find my [bleep] Speedos.

Where the [bleep] did they put them?

What the [bleep]? Where my Speedos?

No, nothing, nothing, nothing.

Condoms. [bleep], more condoms.

Ah, here they are! I found the [bleep] things.

We're in business.

Ah, yeah, they smell like me, all right.

I'm gonna crash this [bleep] party.

Ay, mother[bleep] thing weighs a ton.

[grunts]

Good to go!

Here I come, Vegas!

I'm on my [bleep] way now!

Ah.

- ♪ I wanna go

- ♪ With you - ♪ With you

- ♪ To the end

- Big day today, brah.

Today you're a stripper. - Yep.

- You nervous? - [groans] Nah.

- To do it in front of your mom?

- My mom's seen me naked before.

- True.

I'll help you count your ones at the end of the night.

Is this a stripper warm-up?

- So before my show,

it's all about working out.

Strippers gotta work out.

- Pfft, facts.

[hip-hop music]

- Get those last pumps in before hitting that stage,

because now you can't hide anything.

- How many was that? - .

- Huh, looked like that was .

- People think that it's easy being a stripper,

but it takes a lot of work, a lot of dedication,

a lot of sacrifice.

- Next set, I want you on my back.

- Now, I have been working out and dieting nonstop,

training like Rocky,

to become the stripper Keto Guido.

[line trilling]

- Thank you for calling Cromwell Guest Services.

- Would we be able to get a cleaning service up here?

- Absolutely.

- This is the stripper street--

oh, my God, the stripper street.

[overlapping chatter]

- Stripper Road. - Oh, Stripper Lane.

- The what? I'm sorry? - The stripper suite.

Um, Vinny Guadagnino strips at Chippendale.

Thank you so much.

- Yo, you wanna see this adult plank move I do?

Watch this. This is the stripper plank.

Ready? - [laughs]

- I swear to God, this is a real plank.

- I swear, the side-to-side one's the one I do every day.

- Yo, Ron...look.

You can do anything to him.

Ronnie is buried in his phone.

I mean, I am waving my arms around.

Like, I look like one of those guys,

like, navigating the planes,

like, saying, like, "Yo, Ron, where you at?

[phone swooping]

Unshakeable.

All right, you be Ron.

Yo, Ron? Ron? Ron?

Ron? Ron? - [chuckles]

- Yo, Ron? - [chuckles]

- Yo, Ron? [phone swoops]

We can do anything to this guy.

We all have, like, PTSD

when it comes to Ronnie,

because every trip, there's something going on with Ron,

going back from when we got back together in Miami...

- He's about to have a second baby mama.

- [laughs] - [sobbing]

- Mike's court week...

- I got beat up last night in the parking lot.

- [gasps] - Oh.

- The dude ranch...

- I'm not gonna check on that.

I'm not gonna waste my energy

on somebody that doesn't even wanna accept it.

- Mike's wedding week.

- Where you boy Ronnie at? - He's been busy on "TMZ."

- Are we gonna have to exclude him?

- He's put us through so much.

Now here we are in Vegas,

and, again, we kinda sense something is wrong

'cause he's not being, like, the Ron that we know.

Obviously, everything could be great.

I hope it is great.

But we also always assume the worst with him.

[tense music]

- So if you were ever curious about

the ingredients for a "Ron-page,"

they are: a pissy look on your face. Check.

Buried in your phone. Check.

Disheveled hair. Check.

Storming off for the bathroom. Check.

I hear a tick-tick-tick.

That's a ticking time b*mb to a "Ron-page."

♪

[dramatic musical flourish]

- ♪ Drea-drea-drea-dreaming of love ♪

[techno music]

- Can you take a picture of me so I can send it to Chris?

- All right, I'm ready.

- [laughs]

You should tie the knot in the front.

- Hi, sweetie!

Hi! It's Mommy.

I love you, baby.

What's Mommy doing? [blows raspberries]

- Do you have to order those shirts in extra small

Or you just shop at Baby Gap?

[laughter]

Deena, you look like a beach goddess.

- Thanks. - Today should be fun, though.

We'll hit the pool--well, eat first, then we'll hit the pool.

- Mm-hmm.

- Then we'll come back, shower, go out.

- Sure. - Does Jenni get in today?

- Mm-hmm. - Yeah, this afternoon.

I talked to her yesterday.

- Is she bringing homeboy?

- I hope so. I wanna meet him. - I wanna meet him.

- I wanna meet him too. - , I wanna meet him.

I wanna see who brings her so much joy.

- Yeah, I wanna see who makes her so happy.

- If things don't work out between her and ,

I'm sliding in them DMs.

- Sure you are. [laughter]

No, I think he's obsessed with her.

- I mean, she looks happy as [bleep].

- She's so happy. - I want her to be happy.

I want her to stay happy.

- New [bleep] alert. [laughter]

- [bleep]-chella. - Yeah.

- Nah, I think I'm gonna have a talk to her today.

- What are you gonna say? - I don't know.

Make sure he's not just a rebound...

- I don't think so.

- You know, 'cause if he's a rebound,

then treat him like a rebound.

Don't start bringing him into your world.

You know, that's all... - [whistles]

- 'Cause then nothing good's gonna come from that in any way.

I know from--[laughs]--

from experience, you know?

- Mm-hmm.

- [bleep].

- Okay, but what's good is, the kids know him already.

They've known him. - Ah.

- They know him as Erica's brother's dad.

- Well, I mean, I don't even know if that should be

even an option yet.

- Well, the kids have met him before.

They know him. - What? That's even weirder.

- Well, they know him. - He's Uncle Zack?

That's so weird. She's dating Uncle Zack?

- "Who's Mommy been hanging out with?"

both: "Uncle Zack."

- Holy [bleep], I can't believe Jenni's banging Uncle Zack.

- And, like, you can tell, like, a weight is lifted.

- Oh, she's such-- - Like, she's just--she's so...

- Yeah, she [bleep] damn near lost pounds...

- She's great. - Of Roger.

- Of Roger. [laughter]

- Yo, I hope this guy's not bigger than me.

- I think he might be bigger than you.

- Shut your mouth. [both laugh]

- He looks pretty big. - Yeah, he's a wrestler.

- That's what she said.

- I guess I'm gonna have to wrestle him, hm.

[laughter]

- Imagine. - [laughs]

- Yo, let's go. - Ooh, Angelina.

- Let's go. Pool.

- You look pool ready too. - I do, right?

- We got a beach goddess, and you're pool ready.

- Pool ready. - I'm excited.

I haven't been to a pool party in I can't tell you how long,

and I'm gonna have some c*ck,

and it's going to be amaze-ba*ls.

[techno music]

♪

- What are you doing? - What?

- What are you doing?

- I'm checking to see if you did anything to the bed.

- Are you--are you psycho? - No.

- Why would I do anything to the bed?

- 'Cause last time, remember in Pauly's suite?

- What the hell?

- [woman screams]

There was a situation in here last night,

so if we could just take these, take it all off,

throw them all down and get some new ones.

Look at that bag they put it in.

- Oh, my God, the hazard bag.

- Get off of my bed, Vinny.

- There's a wet spot right here.

- I don't care. Are you out of your mind?

- I wouldn't put it past you, Angelina.

- Get out of here. Yeah, I wouldn't put it past you

to get the [bleep] out of my room.

- [chuckles] - Good-bye.

Vinny is obsessed with me.

You're a creep.

In my room.

Go.

Get out of here. - Angelina...

- I'm watching you-- [bleep]! Vinny!

Like, Vinny, we all know you love me.

Don't front. You know it.

And he needs to leave his ego at the freakin' door.

Like, get the [bleep] out of here, seriously.

[bleep]! Vinny! Come on!

[slow pop music]

- I guess one of us needs to open the door for you.

- [chuckles] Oh, God.

- So are we driving to this place?

- I'm driving. You're walking.

- ♪ Ready, re-re-ready, ready, go ♪

- Vinny is stripping today for all of us.

Just wanna let that sink in.

- I'm excited.

- ♪ Look to the left, look to the right ♪

♪ On your mark, get ready, honey, hold on tight ♪

- [bleep]. [laughter]

- I love Vegas. - That's Angelina in years.

- And I knew you were gonna say that.

- ♪ Are you ready?

♪ Ready, steady - Whoo!

- ♪ Get set, go, get set, go ♪

- I don't know how these people see me.

I'm camouflaged.

- What are you getting to eat?

- Eggs and bacon.

- I'm getting a protein omelet.

- Is that good, what he's getting?

- Anything that has the word protein in it,

I'm gonna get it.

[all chuckle] - Stop.

- Everyone at this table that's a stripper, raise your hand.

[laughs]

[hip-hop music]

Get it? 'Cause he's a stripper. - Yes.

- Bottle of water okay? - Yes, please.

Do you wanna come to Chippendales tonight?

He's stripping. [light laughter]

You don't wanna come?

- He's like, "Nope." - Fine.

- He's like, "I'm good."

- So what's the plan for today?

So I know the pool party.

- The plan is, we're gonna go to the pool party.

Jenni gets in.

All get lit at the pool party.

Come back, regroup, he does [bleep] check--

sound check at, um, Chippendales.

So we're gonna watch the show.

And then, by the time we're watching

all that [bleep]-chella, we gotta do thotchella.

So then we're gonna go to the female strip club,

just to make sure I'm still straight.

- What kinda strip club is this? Is it gonna be, like--is it fun?

- So we're going to Crazy Horse,

and they got a party bus.

It's about to be lit, like... - Really?

- Yeah, we're getting taken care of.

Gonna be fun. - I'm gonna sit that one out.

- Yeah? - Yeah.

♪

- Yeah, probably best for you.

Hot mess. [laughs]

Crazy Horse gets you in trouble, I feel.

- I've decided that I'm not going to the strip club

'cause it's not the place for me right now

while I'm going through my sobriety.

Can I get sparkling water?

- Pellegrino's good? - Yeah.

You know, going to a strip club really isn't, you know,

the [bleep] right door to open.

[chuckles] It's just...

- So you'll dip out after...

- Yeah, after Chippendales. - After Vin.

- I just don't need to be out at : in the morning.

- Why don't you wanna go?

'Cause of distractions and everything?

- Yeah, just being around drunk people and...

- Toxic place? - Yeah.

- I respect that.

- Yeah, listen, you have to do what you have to do,

'cause I like this Ron...

- Me too.

- The one that shows up and is there

and we can talk to.

- I know, me too. Tell me about it.

- He doesn't wanna be surrounded by people drinking,

and I'm like, this is great.

But, you know, Ron is in his phone the entire time,

so I'm sure it has something to do with Jen,

so you never know.

Ron's a roller coaster ride.

- I hope you'll be all right tonight with your leg.

♪

- Yo, Ron's on his phone.

Does anybody know what's going on?

- He left it now. I'm surprised. [chuckles]

- Yeah.

- Oh, my God, he's never left his phone.

- But he's--he's in it. He's in it.

- Hold on, let me go look.

I wish Ron took the phone with him,

'cause that phone at this point,

I can just, like, see, like, a mini-Jen

just, like, climbing out of the phone...

[animal growling] Trying to k*ll us all.

Like, there's so much drama in that phone right now,

I don't even want it on the table.

- I think something's going on, but he's trying to save face.

- Something's definitely going on.

[phone chiming]

- Oh, [bleep].

Jen messaged me. - She messaged you right now?

- Really? - Yeah.

- Oh, damn.

- Just, like, all of a sudden, my phone is blowing up

and it's Jen

and those text messages are [bleep] insane.

[phone swooping]

- Is everything okay?

- No, she said no. - Oh.

- "Ron went to Cabo, went MIA.

"Been texting me crazy [bleep] all hours of the night.

"Stayed longer. Blocked me from everything.

He just went completely wack."

Oh, my God.

- Here he comes. Wait, wait, here he comes, here he comes.

♪

- Like, what is really going on right now?

I don't know if he's sober or not.

I don't know who the [bleep] is lying at this point,

and I'm very scared.

[phone chimes]

- Wait, wait, wait, wait...

Hello?

[funky music]

[all cheer] - Oh, my God!

- So are they fighting?

Oh, my God.

I can't believe what I'm seeing...

Can I have your phone? Can I have your phone?

And I'm like, "Whoa, I'm gonna pull up a seat for this one,

'cause, like, [bleep]'s about to go down."

- Text from Jen Harley! - Yeah, they're fighting.

- Oh, God.

[dramatic musical flourish]

[Sarah McIntosh's "Oo La La"]

- ♪ Boom shaker-er boom shaker ♪

♪ I got the boom shaker-er, boom shaker ♪

- Jen messaged me. - She messaged you right now?

- Wait, here he comes.

Wait, wait, here he comes, here he comes.

No, serious, though. [both laugh]

- To me, it's weird that Ron's baby mama Jen

is reaching out to our family,

like, reaching out to our friends,

instead of reaching out just to him

and he can't be honest with us,

so she's going around our back and talking to the girls.

Is everything okay?

Oh.

Sometimes, I just wish Ronnie would be honest with us

about what's going on.

- We're going to see you strip tonight.

- And your mom's coming to watch you strip too.

I hope you'll be all right with your leg.

- I'll make it work.

Life is testing me. - That's right.

- It's not about how you fall, it's about how you get up.

A smooth sea never made a skilled stripper.

- Mm-hmm. - [laughs] Oh, my God.

All right, Mike.

What has this world come to? How did this happen?

- I ask myself that every day.

- Like, he said he wanted to be a lawyer.

Now, he went from lawyer to stripper.

- Maybe he's a stripping lawyer. That could be good.

- I show up, and I'm like,

"I heard someone needed a deposition."

- Yeah. - That's more of a porn.

- [chuckling]

- Is Jenni meeting us here?

- Either here or the pool party, I think.

Her plane lands at :, I think.

- Oh, okay. Probably pool party.

She might be coming in hot.

- Uh-oh, she's coming in hot.

[electronic pop music]

[phone beeping] - Oh, hey, babe.

Thanks for answering.

- J! - Hi, Jenni.

- Hi. I just landed.

Where are you guys going? I'll meet you there.

- Can you meet us at the pool? - What pool?

- What pool? - Flamingo, right?

- Flamingo.

- I'm grabbing tequila, and I'll be on my way.

- Yes. - Yes.

- Drink your ', b*tch. - Rally up.

All right, good-bye. We'll see you soon.

- Okay, bye. - Can we go?

I need to go to the pool.

- Ready? - Yeah.

- Good, let's do it.

- ♪ Earthquake on the floor like a fault line ♪

- What's up?

- Oh, look at your boys right here.

- Oh, [bleep].

[scooters humming]

[elevator dings] - That's what's up.

- All right, guys, I'll see you later.

[laughter]

- Crewed up squad. Squad goals.

- ♪ Little star hit the gas

♪ Race car

- Vinny! What's up, kid?

- ♪ Earthquake make it shake, shake, shake, shake ♪

[cheering]

[Photronique's "Shake, Shake, Shake" feat. KO the Legend]

- Yo, where you gonna park that at?

- Cheers! Whoo! - Las Vegas.

- You don't have anything hot back there,

like tea or something?

- Yeah, she's getting lit.

[upbeat techno music]

♪

- It's been a long few months.

Right from the airport. [chuckles]

I feel like we're gonna have a really good time, I hope.

[all cheer]

- With your luggage? Aw! - Hi!

- Hi, JWOWW.

Good to see you. - You too.

I would've brought a better bag

if I would've known I would've came by here.

- ? - Yes, please.

- Look at his wheelchair.

- Stop it! - He's like an old man.

- He's a mess. - What do you want?

- Too sad. - Salud.

- Yes. - Cheers, Jenni!

- Cheers. Finally you're here. - God, we've missed you!

- Whoo! - Salud.

- Oh, tea. [laughs] - Aww.

Little Vin.

- I am so excited to see you strip tonight.

- Same. - Same.

- Today, this is what we're gonna do.

We're just chilling, then we're gonna go back,

regroup, whatever.

We're gonna watch him strip.

But there's so many naked men

that we need to see naked women after that.

We're gonna go to a strip club after that.

Crazy Horse .

I got, like, a party bus, too, to go to Crazy Horse.

- And you? - Oh, he's not going.

- Where you going? - Home.

- Home? - Yeah.

- That's the right thing to do.

I have to really potty. - Wait, wait, wait, wait...

- Oh, my God!

- Hello?

- Hang up to the decline the call

or to accept, dial nine now.

- Oh, my God, we're getting a call from prison.

This is crazy.

- I love that Mike is calling right now.

I am so...[sighs] I want him home so bad.

- Hello?

Yo, Mike!

all: Mike!

- Oh, my God. - My God, I miss that voice.

- We miss you.

- We miss you so much, bro. - We're in Vegas.

- Yo, Mike, um, Vinny's a stripper.

- He knows.

- Oh, what is your stage name? - I think it's Chooch.

- Um, it's [bleep].

[yelling, laughter]

- Where'd that come from, Deena?

- Oh, my God, D... - You can't say the P-word.

- Wow. - Deena!

- Deena's lit.

- It's actually the Flying... - Deena!

- The Flying V is my name.

- Oh, my God. - The Flying V.

- Yo, Mike, we ordered our desserts last night

in your "hornor"--honor.

We ordered everything on the menu.

- "Hornor." [chuckles] - "Hornor."

both: When? - Wait, when?

- Soon. - Early? Early?

- No, like, what's early?

Like, July, August, September?

- [gasps] June! - Oh, my God!

That's so soon!

- Oh, my God!

- That's in three weeks. - That's, like, tomorrow.

We're having a party. Pauly's DJing.

We'll work about payment later.

[laughter]

- Yo, Mike, we're not doing

another vacation without you, bro.

[hip-hop music]

- Oh, that's what's up. - Yes, b*tch.

- We're eating everything when you get out.

- Yeah, we're doing a fast-food tour,

straight up, every fast-food restaurant.

- Nah, me too. - You look great.

- Yeah, forget all that. We about to get fat.

- You know, it just feels out of balance

whenever do a vacation without each other.

But Mike tells us that he might be out even earlier

than he was supposed to, and that's great, you know,

because we're supposed to be doing this as a family.

It's like we feel like we have to do everything together.

[laughs]

- Real talk, we miss you, my guy.

- We love you! - We miss you.

We'll see you soon.

- Love you so much. - Vinny's a stripper.

- Vinny's a--

- All right, love you too. - Love you, brother.

- Vinny's a stripper. - Love you.

- Bye... all: Mike!

- Free BF!

- ♪ We young, we young, we young, we young ♪

♪ We young, we young

[hip-hop music]

- ♪ Hey now

♪ There's a party going down right below ♪

♪ Yeah, you know this is a jam ♪

- Let's toast to Mike.

To getting out in June! [all cheer]

Oh, yeah. June, yeah!

- June, b*tches!

- You know, it sucks that Mike isn't here

and he has to call us from jail,

but the good news is that we're learning

that Mike could be out as early as June,

which is like, this is a positive phone call,

'cause our boy Mike might be getting out real soon.

- I need some thotties.

- There's some out there.

- Yeah? - Yeah.

- What kinda performance do you put on?

- You'll see.

I'll bring you up onstage.

- Tread lightly.

- What? Will be mad?

- He's not the type of guy to get mad.

- Well, I hope he wouldn't get mad over me, 'cause...

- Oh, God, no. No, he laughs at it.

- I'm like the size of his [bleep].

- [chuckles] True. [laughs]

- Oh, God, never mind, I shouldn't have went there.

I shouldn't have went there.

- Since we're going there--

- Nah, nah, I'm good. - [laughs]

- So Jenni is like a giddy little schoolgirl.

- I can't stop having sex.

- Wow. - Yep.

- Like, I've never seen Jenni this gung h* before.

- Have you ever dated someone, where you're so, like,

infatuated and attracted to them,

you would just stare at them, like, all day?

- Jenni is bringing up in every conversation.

- We're just completely day and night.

- When you start talking to somebody new,

that's, like, a basic move that you do.

You start bringing them up...

- Like, I'm all tattooed. He has zero.

- Yeah.

And they can't stop talking about them...

- can do a split. - Really?

- Yeah. - Oh, [bleep].

And everything is amazing, and everything is perfect.

- He deadlifts, like, , pounds.

- Literally I'm, like, talking about the weather,

and she's like, "Yeah, right now,

it's, uh, degrees where lives."

- He lives in different states, so, it does...

- Yeah.

You also won't shut the [bleep] up about it.

- I know. [laughs]

- You start bringing the person up in random conversations.

Like, "Oh..."

- I can't help it.

- "Kevin Durant sprained his ankle.

So did my boyfriend."

[hip-hop music]

- Ron, what are you doing?

- Work.

- Are you angry texting?

- Who are you texting? - Work.

- Who are you texting? - Work.

- I don't know what's going on with Ron.

Group chat was informing me

that Ron was literally on his phone all day yesterday.

Like, it's uncomfortable.

If you're gonna be with the roommates, engage.

Like, just--it's--[sighs] Like, that annoys me.

He's like...[mimics buzzing] - Oh, yeah.

♪

- You ready, Ron?

We good? We're rolling?

[tense music]

- Ron! Ron's here, everybody...

- [laughs]

- And happy and having a good time.

- [laughing]

- I mean, like, what happened? He forgot how to smile?

Well, now he knows we talk about it.

- [laughs, muffled]

- All people do is talk about me in this house.

I take a [bleep], they talk about it.

I jerk off, they talk about it.

That's all they do is talk about it.

- Nice to see you, Ron.

[tense music]

So are they fighting? Ron?

- Well, Angelina has a DM from Jen I'm trying see.

- Oh, yes! - What do you have from Jen?

- Give me your phone. - Yes, share that. No?

- Give me your phone.

- She's the only one that knows.

- Can I have your phone? - Why can't you just tell them?

- She has a secret to the puzzle.

- Can I have your phone?

- I don't have a secret to a puzzle, but...

- Can I have your phone?

♪

- The code is "I love Vinny Guadagnino."

- Jen messaged me on Instagram

telling me that Ronnie has been missing for a week.

She doesn't know where he is.

She hasn't spoken to him for a week.

So Jenni grabbed my phone.

I'm always Team Ron, I really am,

but at this point, I don't even know what to do.

I thought that, you know,

Jenni and Ron are closer than that.

I didn't know that she would do this.

- [screams]

Get it! Get it! Open it!

- No, I'm not touching it. I'm not touching it.

- Oh!

- Where's all of the [bleep] pics?

- I know. - Text from Jen Harley!

- Yeah, they're fighting.

- Oh, God. - What'd I miss?

- Ronnie's here.

Tick-tock, tick-tock.

It's only a matter of time

before, boom, "Ron-page" is coming.

- Oh, God.

- ♪ They say they want a w*r

♪ But they ain't been to w*r with somebody like me ♪

♪ So you don't wanna start one ♪

♪ You ain't never seen nothing like me ♪

[dramatic musical flourish]

- [whispering] I invited Jen to the girls strip club.

- I think this is a bad idea to meet Jen tonight.

You understand this girl's [bleep] crazy?

[cheers and applause] - Whoo!

- Show Vinny's p*nis!

- This night is gonna be one that I'm never gonna forget.

- [screaming, cheering]

- Prank-w*r champion!

- What the hell?