03x15 - Back to the Jersey Shore

[bunniefuu]

[exciting music]

- My heart is racing right now,

but at the end of the day,

I have to hold my head high for myself

and my future family.

- I've been thinking about... - Roger.

- Yeah.

I'm going through it with the divorce.

It's been, like, almost a year since I filed.

- Dear Jenni,

thank you for the hosp-i-tality,

and P.S.,

sorry Ronnie clogged the toilet.

- Next time we all do this, Mike's gonna be with us.

both: Yeah!

- ♪ Here I come ♪

- Yeah, buddy!

- Party's here!

- The Situation is under construction.

- This might not have been the best idea.

- We're so classy now.

- On the seventh day, it'll be lit.

- Get the frig out of here, you crazy!

- Um, hello?

- ♪ Here I come ♪

[upbeat electronic music]

♪ ♪

- Hi.

both: Hi.

- You look so cute.

- As do you. - There's the mom of three.

- Are we doing a drug deal? - Yes.

- So I'm really excited right now,

'cause I get to see my meatballs.

- Dropped the kids off? - Mm-hmm.

- We're gonna walk and talk, but most importantly,

I have to tell them in person my really good news.

- Do you want to, like, sit underneath the tree?

- A little mini-- both: Whoa!

- Dangerous.

- Oh! - This is so cute.

Pretend we're in Central Park.

- [laughs]

- [exhales] I'm finally divorced.

- Whoo!

- I'm like-- - She's divorced!

- [bleep] Yes.

- Well, it's like there's a weight lifted

off your shoulders. - Yeah.

- Like, "I'm finally free."

- There are so many aspects

that you have to recover from--

financially, emotionally.

I'm just really relieved that it's over.

- We need to plan a divorce party.

both: Yeah.

- Thank God.

I mean obviously she has to deal with Roger forever

with co-parenting and [bleep] like that,

but she's finally divorced.

- How about Angelina? - Yeah.

I haven't heard anything. - Well, when we were in D.C.,

she didn't even have her invitations picked out.

- Like, you're getting married in two months.

- Where is she having it?

- She's gonna get married in a church.

- Huh?

- Angelina's actually very religious.

- In the name of the Father, and of the Son,

and of the Holy Spirit, Amen.

The wonderful wedding couples that are here today.

Lord, have mercy.

- Stop! We're in church.

- Heavenly Lord, hear the prayers of your people.

- She told me she goes to church every--

- No, she doesn't. - No, she does not.

She's at Headliners every Sunday.

- [indistinct preaching]

Lord Jesus Christ, the only God and Son.

- Guarantee there's a club in Jersey called Church.

- Whatever. That's what she told me.

- She came in in a leopard cat suit.

- I can't.

- This is my third freaking fiancé,

so third time's a charm,

and I'm not marrying Chris just because I want to marry him.

I'm actually marrying Chris because I love him,

and he's my fiancé and my best friend.

- Fine.

- Oh, my God.

We're gonna be getting married in church.

I just want, like, a regular, nice wedding.

Something that I can always remember.

- Sometimes the hard part is keeping that marriage alive,

and strong, and loving, and going.

Be kind to one another.

- You hear that? - No, you hear that.

- That went well. - I loved it.

- That was good.

[upbeat music]

- Peace out.

- You're not getting in back. - Oh, oh, oh, oh!

- Oh, Chris, [bleep]!

A [bleep] pole, Christopher!

- She randomly texted me. She's like,

"How do I get a pre-nup?" I was like, "Oh, girl."

- "How do I get a pre-nup?" - It's such a huge process,

and I was like, "If you're gonna go down that route,

you need to start it, like, this week."

- Well, I mean the way they fight they probably should.

- Just in case.

- Call the cops.

- He's so dumb. I can't--like, [bleep].

You're too busy freaking [bleep] around.

- I didn't see it. - Come on.

You're gonna hit it again.

- I'm not gonna hit it again.

Chris, you're fixing my car. You're an idiot.

- All right, so I'll [bleep] fix it.

- Make the right. Hurry up, go.

- Well she's gotta keep praying, b*tch.

[all laughing]

- Obviously you guys know Mike--

- Mike gets out. - Mike gets out,

like, in a couple days. Like, this is nuts.

- I can't wait to see what he looks like.

He said he lost pounds.

- [bleep] I need to lose pounds.

- Same. [bleep], I'm going to jail.

- ♪ What it be like, yeah, we good ♪

♪ Pull up and I'm flexing with your little [...] ♪

♪ Yeah, man, that's just how I do it ♪

- Could you imagine what that feels like?

Being re-released back to the world?

- We've had so many false alarms,

but we know for sure Mike is about to get out,

so now all the roommates are all getting

a house--the one we actually lived in

last summer--and we're gonna just,

like, camp out and be ready for Mike's actual release date.

I hope he's not, like, too in shape.

- I don't want Mike on a diet. - [laughs]

He'll be like you. - I know.

We got enough miserable people around here.

- ♪ Push it to the floor ♪

♪ Pedal to the metal ♪

♪ You got it, I need it ♪

- Here it is! - [bleep] yes.

- I'm so excited. - I'm not drinking.

I want to remember my days.

- What? Okay, Vinny.

- Ooh.

- Oh, our cheetah's still here. Oh, it's the same.

- It looks the same. Just like I remembered.

Last summer was so much freaking fun.

[all shouting]

- Hey! - Whoo!

- Hey.

- Yeah! - [screams]

- Moms going wild.

- [screaming]

- [laughing]

[both shouting]

- [screams]

- Oh, perfect, four beds. - Yes, beautiful.

- It's so girly, right?

It just screams period and tampons.

- [laughs]

- Oh, [bleep]. - Oh, [bleep].

[both laughing]

Yeah, it looks the same.

Damn, this is so lit. It looks like Jenni's house.

- I know.

- Oh, yeah!

That's how you know we're in Manalapan.

- Welcome home. - Hello, guys.

- Look. The cheetah's still here.

- What's up? Give me a hug.

- Welcome home. - Good to see you.

Did you get shorter?

- I did. - So we got the same house?

- Yeah. - Yes.

- Nice. - Cool.

- It's nice.

- It's only right that we come

back together in this house,

because this was the last time

we lived with Mike all together.

- [shouting]

- [screams]

all: Yay!

- And Angelina's not here. - [bleep].

- Oh, where is Angelina?

- I'm gonna phone and see if she actually is coming.

- I heard she got a staph infection.

- She texted me. She's at the doctor's.

- She's had it from stress.

- I'm not bringing that home to my kids.

- Her arm looks like this.

- Can I see the picture? - It does.

- She's on steroids. - I know [inaudible].

- Oh, my God. That's it?

- Yeah. I told you.

- Oh, what the [bleep] is that? - Oh, what the hell?

- Angelina's arm's, like, freaking me out.

- Her arm looks like that. - Oh, my God.

- She said it's from stress.

Like, I would be stressed out too.

- All right. Enough about Angelina.

Mike's getting out. - Yes.

- Yes. - Yeah!

- Lauren must be [bleep] ecstatic right now.

- Imagine how she feels. - He said when he gets out,

he's gonna have pizza with Laurens in bed.

- He's gonna have the pie just on her back and like--

[all laughing]

- Stupid.

- Please turn next right.

[upbeat music]

- ♪ Whoa, whoa ♪

♪ Whoa, whoa ♪

- Where's Ron? - Where the [bleep] is Ron?

- Where is Ron?

- I don't know. Check TMZ.

- Oh, memories!

[all screaming]

- We were just talking about you.

What up, man?

- Let's go get all the bags.

- Can you bring the girls' upstairs?

- Yep.

- Please? - Thank you.

- Ron, you get your room to yourself I think.

- I know. - Must be nice.

- You guys want to eat something or no?

- I'm [bleep] starving right now.

- Oh, it's lit.

- Ha, it's lit. Get it? [laughs]

- How many guidos to light a barbecue.

- It's lit. - Whoo!

The food is ready!

- Do you want to go down with the boys?

- Hi, sweetie.

- Hello.

- Thank you, man.

- Yeah, thank you for cooking. Thanks, Vin.

- Ron, how's my Italian sausage?

- Spicy. - [chuckles]

- I thought it was kinda sweet.

[all laughing]

[phone chiming]

- Tell Roger I said, "What's up?"

- You see that? - I didn't read anything.

- What? - Yeah.

- Can't say the R word. - What's he want?

[phone chimes]

- So I get a text from my ex,

and it's not good.

I'm gonna deal with this for a second.

I thought I worked everything out where, like,

he could take the kids this week

when I'm with my roommates,

and then I would take 'em on the weekend,

But apparently now he wants to go back on the plan,

so now I'm [bleep], and I'm gonna--

I gotta go home.

[dramatic music]

- I feel awful because, you know,

Roger is giving Jenni so much [bleep],

and I feel terrible for her.

I mean Roger's doing it on purpose.

- Who is it? - It's me, sugarplum.

You okay?

- [crying]

[bleep].

- Hey, Ang,

you gonna meet us out, or what's--what's going on?

- Yeah. I'm gonna be right back.

- Bro, is that Angelina? What the hell's she doing?

- Got her luggage. No, keep going.

No, no. Keep going.

[all shouting] - Oh, my gosh, stop!

[all laughing]

[dramatic music]

- Can I help you guys? - I'm picking up my husband.

- Okay. - Thank you.

He's gonna be looking out the window,

if he's not already.

- They're together. All right, here they come.

- ♪ We're all at the end ♪

[hip-hop music]

[phone chiming]

- Tell Roger I said, "What's up?"

- You see that? - I didn't read everything.

- What? - Yeah.

- What's he want? - He sent her a paragraph.

- [laughing]

- Oh, God.

- I'm gonna deal with this for a second.

[crying]

Literally, I'm in the bathroom crying.

I'm like, "[bleep]."

I'm like, "I want to be here for Mike,"

but it looks like I have to go home.

[knocking] Who is it?

- It's me, sugarplum.

- It's just, like, two [bleep] worlds torn,

and I'm like, "I thought this is like--

I thought this was handled." I got divorced.

- You okay? - And I said,

"And I asked you to work with me,

"and you are not.

"You are mandating a weekend

knowing I can't see them during the week,"

and he goes, "It's my weekend to have them."

- He's trying to upset you.

- The situation with Roger is so sticky.

Like, yes, we have a contract, and we have to follow it,

but I really thought if we were, like,

great co-parenting and working with each other,

we could, like, switch off.

So I mean apparently

that's just not the situation right now.

- Yeah, do what you need to do to stay mental.

She might not be able to stay, um,

as long as she wants to in the house with us,

and I feel terrible for her.

I mean Roger's doing it on purpose.

Like, you're [bleep] years old.

Grow up.

- Did you guys see what-- what Angelina's gonna do?

- Yeah.

- Call your best friend, Ron. - I love this man.

- I love this man. - Yeah, there she is.

- Hey. - Hey, Ang.

- Where are you? - What are you doing?

Are you gonna meet us out, or what's going on?

- Yeah. I'll meet you guys out.

I just need help with my luggage.

I can't bring it upstairs.

- Wait, so you're gonna bring your luggage where?

- In the restaurant? - Restaurant?

Angelina is so late we can't wait for her a*s to get here.

Mike is getting out tomorrow.

Ugh, I just can't wait for all of us

to be together again.

- All right, Ang.

Well, get ready and we'll see you at the restaurant.

- All right. I'll see you there.

- All right. Good-bye.

- I hate dressing up when I'm sober.

- I just want to wear this.

- I'm not trying to impress anybody.

I'm a married woman.

Yeah, this is awesome.

I'm ready. Let's go.

- I just need five. Vinny's gonna wash my ba*ls.

- [chuckles]

- I'm ready. - Ooh!

- Look at you looking like the fall.

- Looking like a big old jar of pumpkin spice, girl.

[both laughing]

[car horn honking] - Yep, yep!

- All right. Let's go.

- Mike's coming out tomorrow.

- When we wake up he'll be out. - Mm-hmm.

He said he lost pounds in there.

- [laughs]

For the last time, free BDS. For the last time.

- Last time. - Last time.

- 'Cause we're gonna pick him up and free him tomorrow.

- One. Two. Three.

all: Free BDS!

- Screaming like [bleep]. - That's the point.

- Yep, yep! - Let's go. I'm starving.

- All right, let's do this.

- Bo-bee-doop-boop.

♪ I need food in my life ♪ I'm gonna look up their menu.

What is it? Um, The Wine--

- The Wine Lou-- The Wine Loft?

- Where the [bleep] are they going?

- They're just gonna meet us there.

- I wonder if Angelina's here.

- Probably not. - With her luggage.

- Oh, my God.

[upbeat music]

[crickets chirping]

- Like, what the [bleep]?

Where are you guys?

- Bro, is that Angelina? What the hell's she doing?

- [bleep] luggage. No, keep going.

No, no. Keep going.

- Bye, girl! - Bye!

- Keep going, sir. - Going somewhere else.

- No, you're not! - Keep going, sir!

- Roll up the window. - Bye!

- Oh, my God, stop!

[all laughing]

- That's embarrassing. - I can't.

Oh, my God.

- You can go back around and pick her up.

We were just [bleep] around.

- Angelina, we're not at La Guardia.

- I know.

- Why do you have your luggage? - Where are you going?

Angelina's wearing, like, this crazy outfit.

- Oh, that's nice. What is that, velvet?

- And she's standing there with her luggage.

- Back table? - All right, we're good.

- Like, I don't know this girl.

- Angeliners. - Hi, Vinny.

No, wait, someone's gonna sit in the corner.

- Do you want to switch positions?

- That's what she said.

- Angelina, what happenedto you?

- Do you still have a staph infection?

- Yeah. Do you still have infection?

Wait, is that what that is?

- What is that? - Stress.

- Stress rash.

- Wait, is it a staph infection?

- That's no joke, dude.

- I don't even want to talk

about this wedding planning anymore.

This is why I have a rash on my arm.

- Angelina has a staph infection.

- Stop.

- And I'm sitting next to her. - Oh, thank you.

- Give you guys a few minutes and everything?

- Um, yeah, so for the table, we'll do two baked bries,

a spinach dip, an artisan board--

- Chicken sliders with parmesan.

- We are in full-blown

"Mike's getting released from prison" mode.

Can we make it two chicken parm sliders?

'Cause those sound really good.

- So two, um, boneless wings. - Two pepperoni.

Two margaritas.

- Everything we do is in honor of Mike,

and so it's only right that we order everything on this menu.

- Chicken parm sliders.

- This is the best day of my life.

- Whoa. - Times two.

Thank you. - Delicious.

- Oh, one right here. - So cool.

- Is Mike here?

- Yeah! - Oh, my God.

- All right, guys. You ready?

- Yep.

- Whoo! - It's happening!

- Whoa. - Take a picture.

- No cameras on me though. Gotta shut them off.

I am very excited to finally eat carbs

with my roomies tonight.

All right. Here we go!

- It's happening.

- In, like, the last couple months of being with them

I haven't been able to have fun.

Here we go! A carb.

So this is a monumental moment.

[dramatic music]

♪ ♪

- Congratulations!

[all cheering]

Congratulations. - Good job.

♪ ♪

- How do you feel? Do you feel good?

I like this Vinny.

- I love this Vinny. - Yeah.

- Vinny is done being a stripper.

He started eating a carb again.

- Ready?Watch.

Pizza, guys.

- And I have to tell you, it's like night and day.

Couple months ago he was like a corpse.

Sunken in. No personality.

- A. B. C. D.

- He was, like, a bore.

I just feel like you don't try

and have a good time with us ever.

Now, he's eating a carb. He has some energy.

He's fun. This is the Vinny that I love.

- Angelina, you were kinda--I don't want to say it--

like, missed today. A little bit.

- Aw, Vinny!

- Oh, my God! - Yeah, we were like--

- Oh, Vinny! - You're in love with her.

He looks like he loves you. - Thanks.

- That was, like, a huge moment.

- Oh, look at him! He's getting like--

both: You're blushing!

- Oh, my God!

- You like her.

- Oh, my God.

- So how's wedding planning? - Ooh.

- Oh. - What is going on?

- What do you think I have a rash for?

- We are here to help. You know that, right?

- I know.

- Do you still want a lawyer? - Um--

- You don't--you don't think

you're gonna get a pre-nup, do you?

- Um, I probably will. - You have to get one.

- It's a business transaction. - Yep.

- Make sure you hit 'em with the...

both: Pre-nup!

- Really.

It's just [bleep] standard practice, people.

Get a pre-nup, if you're going to get married.

Protect your assets.

Let's say you don't work out in ten years, right?

He's literally entitled to everything you did.

Do you want that in your life?

- Jenni, how do you know? - I just went through it.

Yes, you're in love, and all that bull[bleep],

but, like, Angelina's literally saying, like,

"He's my third engagement. We fight all the time."

- There's something wrong with you.

- It's always me though. - It's always you.

- And I'm gonna [bleep]--

[both speaking at once]

- Well, [bleep]. - Ooh, they're fighting!

- Oh!

- [bleep] It's over. - Yeah.

They really love each other.

- She needs a good lawyer that'll help her.

There is laws prohibiting you from making a pre-nup

before your wedding, at a certain time,

so if you decide last minute to get a pre-nup,

you're not gonna be allowed. - Holy [bleep], really?

- Yeah, so it'll have to actually be done

in two weeks or so,

'cause you need a six-week

cooling-off period before your wedding.

- Ooh. You gotta do that.

- Oh, [bleep].

Knowing that my wedding is coming up in such

a short period of time,

I'm like, "Oh, [bleep].

[bleep] is getting serious right now."

I have go to and get myself a pre-nup to protect myself.

- Yeah, my actual business transaction

went south earlier today.

I got a wonderful text, and due to that text,

I will probably have to be in and out of the house,

due to our custody arrangement.

- Oh, jeez. Handle what you gotta handle.

We'll handle it over here. - Appreciate it.

- Mike went to prison,

so a lot of the focus has been on him,

but unfortunately Jenni has had a horrible year too.

She went through a divorce,

and now she has another issue with Roger.

We just feel bad for Jenni that she's going through it.

She's such a great person and a great mother.

She just wants to be happy.

I think we did Mike proud right now.

We ordered a little bit of everything.

- Yes!

- Yo, he better eat when he comes out.

I don't want another diet [bleep].

- I feel like he is.

- He said he wants pizza and sex.

The first two things, so--

- Well, I'll give him the second thing.

I'm not giving him pizza.

[all laughing]

- You're such an idiot.

- Mosey, Daddy's coming home. Mosey.

Next time I see you, Daddy'll be here with me.

One last ride to Otisville. - I know.

- God, I can't wait to never go back there.

[exhales sharply]

[electronic music]

♪ ♪

- ♪ We riding again ♪

♪ Again ♪

♪ We ride ♪

♪ ♪

♪ We riding again ♪

♪ Again ♪

♪ We ride ♪

[knocking]

♪ ♪

- Good morning.

Mosey, guess who's coming back?

- Mosey, Daddy's coming home.

Mosey, you're gonna see your daddy.

Next time I see you, Daddy'll be here with me.

You ready to roll out?

- Yeah. - One last ride to Otisville.

- I know, right? - God.

I can't wait to never go back there.

[exhales]

- Okay, let's get this show on the road, right?

- Yeah.

Mosey, Daddy's coming to see you.

Love you!

- ♪ We riding again ♪

♪ Again ♪

- It's [bleep] raining.[bleep].

♪ ♪

- ♪ We riding again ♪

A little early for this.

♪ ♪

- We gotta step on it, y'all.

♪ ♪

♪ We ride ♪

[dramatic music]

♪ ♪

- We're [bleep] old.

I can't, like, stay out past : anymore.

- All right. I gotta tinkle.

I'm gonna die.

- Is it tomorrow?

- Yep. - Where are we?

- Where are we. - I was in, like, a deep sleep.

- I have to pee.

- All that cheese.

- Yeah, I know. My stomach's k*lling me.

All right, guys. I'm going to bed.

- All right, good night. - All right, ladies.

Tomorrow, Michael is getting out.

- Yes. Can't wait.

- Today.

- So let's get a nap in. - Good night, b*tch.

- Good night. - I love you.

- We've waited eight months for this.

Cannot wait to see this guy. It's gonna be amazing.

- Should we put these two beds together?

- Yeah. I think so.

- It feels unbelievable to know that when I go to sleep

and wake up in the morning Mike will be a free man.

- Night, babe. - Night, chooch.

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

- I think if, when I walk in with a bag,

I give it to an officer...

- Uh-huh. - And then I have to leave,

and they give it to him, and they do his checkout,

and he changes,

and then he walks out... - Okay.

- On his own is what I think happens.

♪ ♪

- I'm excited. I'm definitely excited today.

- Mm-hmm. - But, like, he has taught me

so well how to live one day at a time

that I could not think any further ahead than,

like, today.

- But I think it's good for me to be that way,

because it's like being more present in everything...

- Mm-hmm. - Than, like, looking forward.

[sentimental music]

- Please marry me. - Oh, my God, dude.

He's doing it.

♪ ♪

- Oh, my God! My God!

Yes. - Yes?

- Yes! - Yes?

- Yes!

- ♪ 'Cause I know you won't be ♪

- You can take the blindfolds off on three.

One, two, three! Take it off.

[all shouting]

- ♪ 'Cause I know you won't be ♪

- Whoo!

- [laughing] - Aww!

- I told you!

- He's crying.

- ♪ Coming back to me ♪

- I will love you and honor you all the days of my life.

I give you this ring as a symbol of my love

and faithfulness.

As I place it on your finger,

I commit my heart and soul to you.

- Congratulations. You may kiss your bride.

[cheers and applause]

- Yay! - Whoa!

- Whoo!

- ♪ But you know ♪

♪ Just so you know ♪

[cheering]

♪ That you are ♪

♪ Coming back to me ♪

[upbeat music]

- So when we get there

they're gonna probably look in the car

and tell you to put all the cameras down.

- Okay.

♪ ♪

- I went every week.

♪ ♪

- The longest ten minutes ever. - Yeah, I know.

I [bleep]--I was--

- This is probably, like, the first time I'm excited.

- Yeah.

- Yeah.

He's gonna be looking out the window,

if he's not already.

- Is this it? Is this-- - Yeah, it's on the left.

- Oh, okay.

- But they're probably gonna check the car.

Is there a cop? Yeah.

[turn signal clicking]

We'll see what happens.

Hi. - Hey, how you doing?

- Good, how are you doing, sir? - Good, how are you?

- Can I help you guys?

- I'm picking up my husband.

- Okay. - Thank you.

[dramatic music]

All right, so just go straight,

and then, because we're picking him up,

just go straight, all the way to the top,

'cause he gets processed out of the main building.

- Okay.

- Since you're not coming in...

- Mm-hmm. - Maybe drop me off

and then park over here.

- Okay. - I don't know,

or you could try to wait. - Yeah, so we'll drop you off,

and then we'll kind of be back there.

- Yeah.

♪ ♪

[upbeat music]

- ♪ Yeah ♪

♪ ♪

♪ I try to tell you you ain't ready ♪

- Knowing that Mike can get out at any minute

is the best feeling in the world.

It's actually making it hard for me to sleep,

but it's just great.

Like, you're waking up to good news,

and you know it. - ♪ You boys is not ready ♪

- [groans]

They're together. All right, here they come.

[energizing music]

♪ ♪

- [giggling] Oh, honey.

♪ ♪

[laughs]

♪ ♪

[indistinct chatter]

[laughing]

♪ ♪

- I've been dreaming about this day for eight months,

and walking out of prison I definitely feel

like "Rocky" right now,

head held high and hand and finger to the sky.

♪ ♪

I'm proud.

[sniffles]

♪ ♪

- Reality TV star Michael "The Situation" Sorentino

is to be sentenced today, in Newark.

♪ ♪

- "Jersey Shore" star Mike "The Situation" Sorentino

sentenced to eight months in prison.

- Oh, my God. - He got eight months.

That's a lot. That's a long time.

♪ ♪

- I need to go get my head together.

- Oh, okay.

♪ ♪

- Seeing my wife right now-- [chuckles]

uh, for the first time as a free man,

it's, uh, the sweetest victory that I ever had.

It was.

♪ ♪

- All right. - Whoo!

We turned out, we free.

[both laughing]

- You got to say that again, dog.

- Took this bell, bell to bell, kid.

- Yeah.

- Oh, [bleep]. Look who it is.

I can get out.

- No, no, no, no. Don't get out, Mike.

Michael, I'm so happy for you, buddy.

- Thanks, bro. - You're welcome, bro.

♪ ♪

- Let's get out of here. - Where to?

- [exhales sharply] - Back to the Jersey Shore.

[both laughing]

- Straight to Jersey.

- Let's go.

- ♪ Who we are, you, me, and us ♪

♪ Who we are ♪

- Let's get out of here.

- All right. I see you guys.

- Get me far away from this mountain.

You excited, honey?

We did it. - We did it, Mama.

We did it.

♪ ♪

- I love you. - I love you, honey.

♪ ♪

Yeah, it was definitely a tall task, for sure.

♪ ♪

It worked out.

- ♪ Glorious ♪

- Whew.

♪ ♪

Comeback is always greater than the setback, honey.

- ♪ Glorious ♪

[Wolfgang Black's "Best Life"]

- ♪ Then sing it loud ♪

♪ Just let your voice ring out ♪

- I'm just so excited right now.

[indistinct chatter]

- I've been waiting for this moment

for eight months right now, and it's finally here.

Love you.

I'm so excited to be back with my wife.

I'm so happy to be out, honey. I just want to get home.

- I have coffee for you. - I haven't had real coffee in

obviously eight months.

If I had to describe what I will be most

looking forward to, I'd have to say everything.

[both laughing]

You look great, honey. You look fantastic.

- I've been trying to keep up with you.

- The whole family's in boot camp?

- Yeah. Including Mosey.

He's gonna be so excited to see you.

- He is? - He's gonna, like, flip out.

- Oh, my God.

Well, I think I should just text the squad and--and my mom

and whatnot or whatever, you know?

- I charged it for you. - Oh, you did?

Oh, damn.

- Do you remember how to use it?

- I do not know how to use this thing.

- [chuckles]

- Oh. Oh, damn.

[both chuckling]

Don't know how to use any of this stuff.

Very cool. - [laughs]

I haven't used a phone in almost a year practically.

If I could find group chat in here somewhere--

what type of gif do we need here?

"Turn up. We free."

[phone chimes] - [chuckles]

- In your group chat? - Yeah.

- Oh, God.

It's like you just resuscitated all of them I think,

by that text. Like, the paddles came out.

- Um, I just saw myself on the main page of Twitter.

My face.

- Yeah, you've been on the news for two days straight.

- I don't know why everyone's following me on Twitter

all of a sudden.

You get out of prison,

everybody wants to be your friend.

- ♪ No, we pull up in that thing ♪

♪ Don't know how to act, where the bad actresses at ♪

♪ Where they at ♪

♪ And when we pull up tonight ♪

♪ They ain't gonna know how to act ♪

[phone chiming repeatedly]

- Oh, my God. Like, Mike's back.

Mike is back in group.

- Check your phones! Oh, my God.

Mike's out!

- Is he? - Mike's out.

Stop. - Oh, my God, finally.

- Oh, my God.

I'm actually in this group chat.

- You are. - Yeah, you're here, b*tch.

- How'd you get in this? - Holy [bleep].

- You guys, Mike's out! - "Turn up. We free.

Free Sitch. Excite to see you guys soon."

- Stop! I'm gonna cry.

- Oh!

- Wow. - Ooh, he's on TMZ!

- Stop. I'm getting chills.

- Is that him? - Wow.

"Mike's released from prison. Time to make babies?"

The [bleep] they get that headline from?

- How frigging cute. - Oh, I'm so happy.

- The Sitch is free! We did it!

all: We did it!

- [bleep] months later.

- We did it! - A month later.

- We did it, guys! Whoo!

- Wait. Look at his gifs.

- Oh, my God. - I can't.

- Already the best commentary in group chat.

Mike texts us that BDS is free

and a whole bunch of g-- uh, what is it?

Gifs or gifs? Jeefs?

Gifs. Gifs.

- He's using gifs already. - I know.

- [laughs]

He's gonna act like it's nothing.

- I know. Like it never happened.

- He's gonna like--he's gonna come here and be like,

"Yo, what up?"

- It's the craziest thing to see Mike's name

come up in group chat. He's like, "I'm back."

Mike is out! Mike is out!

Mike is out! Mike's a free man!

- Mike's out! Yay!

- Ronnie, Mike's out! Get out of the shower!

[knocking] Mike is out!

Free Situation is now a free Situation!

I'm, like, everywhere looking for Ronnie,

and of course, Ronnie's in the bathroom,

as always clogging the toilet probably.

Free Situation is now a free Situation!

- I just put my lashes on,

so I'm, like, trying not to cry.

- I wonder what he's gonna do today.

I mean Mike is probably [bleep] elated right now.

Ew, calm down, elated,

but he's probably so friggin' happy.

He's, like, out of jail. He can smell the fresh air.

He never has to wear that ugly jumpsuit again.

He can go home, have sex with his wife,

come see us.

I mean he's probably on cloud nine.

I wonder when we're gonna see him?

I feel like today he's should go home,

order pizzers and French fries, do it with Laurens.

- times.

- You're good to go to the house?

- Yep. - I mean straight from--

- Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Today is--is just pizza party,honey.

We're just having a pizza party today.

- Yeah. Today's pizza party and Mosey.

- Pizza party, and Mosey and, uh, movies?

- Yeah. - And, uh, coffees.

You know, I just want to get home with my wife right now,

put on some comfy clothes,

see my dog Moses, and, um, snuggle together.

And then, um--and then the next day we're gonna get back to it.

You know, gym, tan, laundry.

[chuckles]

- ♪ Surrounded by my team ♪

♪ All I need is my wings to fly ♪

♪ Let's get this money, let's get at these honeys ♪

♪ Work hard play hard like it's our time ♪

- Can I place an order for delivery please?

Let me get two large vodka pizzas--pies.

- Two large vodka pies. - Yeah.

Let me also get one plain pie, as well.

- All right, one plain. Is that it?

- Uh, no. Uh, we're also gonna get

one sausage and broccoli rabe pie, as well.

- One broccoli rabe and sausage.

Is that it? - No, no, we got more.

Also, I would like to get a peppers, onions,

and mushrooms pie.

An order of fried shrimp please, large.

An order of chicken fingers, large please.

Can't forget the chicken fingers.

Add in some French fries please, and also,

I would like three diet sodars, as well,

and, um, I think that's it, right, honey?

Okay.

- All right, so let's get this straight.

Two large vodka pies, one plain,

one broccoli rabe and sausage,

one peppers, onion, and mushroom pie,

one order of fried shrimp, one chicken fingers,

order of French fries, and three diet sodas?

- Yes, sir. - Wait.

Is this Mike "The Situation"? - Yeah, yeah.

This is The Situation. - Yo, everyone!

It's Mike "The Situation"! - Yes!

BDS is free, kid!

Turned up. We free!

- Welcome back, BDS! - All right. Thank you. Bye.

I guess they know who we was, honey.

- I know. - You know what I'm saying?

[both laughing]

Oh, wow. Oh, wow.

We made it, honey. - [laughs]

We made it.

We did it, Mama. We did it.

I'm so proud of us. - Me too.

- Just getting some alone time with my wife

is well-deserved, okay?

Mrs. Situation was by herself.

I mean, my friends looked after her.

They checked in with her, but she has held it down.

[elevator beeps]

- What do you think Mosey's gonna do?

- I don't know. Mosey's gonna--

- Should I get it on my phone, too,

so I have video of you guys greeting?

- If you want to. - I think I do.

I want to get it.

- So it's time, honey, to, uh, end the watch.

BDS is home.

Hey. - What?

[laughing]

Are you okay? - Yeah, I'm fine.

Excited to be home.

I'm home, and, um, that's where the heart is.

Come on, Mosey. Come on.

- Mosey, who is this? - Oh, my goodness.

- Oh, my God. Mosey, who is this?

- This is Daddy. It's Daddies.

- Who is that, Mosey? - Come on.

Come on, let's go. Oh, my God.

It's your daddies. It's your daddy.

Hey, buddy, it's Daddy. [dog whimpering]

- Who is that? - Daddy came home.

- Aw. - I know, I know.

We're gonna have a nice pizza party today.

He is. He's all messed up.

- Mosey.

- Daddy's gonna have a nice pizza party for you today.

We have nice treats ready for you, all right, buddy?

There he is. He looks great.

All these excuses, and he paid.

It's all right, buddy. Daddy's here.

[dog whining]

- Aw. - All right, all right.

- Daddy's crying.

[upbeat music]

[groans and clears throat]

All right, honey.

- You good? - It's over and we did it.

We made it.

- I love you. - I love you.

- I love you. - I love you too.

- Mmm.

- ♪ When I'm with you ♪

- Want to watch movies all day. Honey, it's all right.

It's okay. It's okay.

It's okay. It's over.

- ♪ You'll be okay ♪

- It's okay. You happy?

Okay.

My wife has been my A from day one.

We've known each other for almost years.

She's been through my ups, my downs.

She's seen me at my worst,

and now she deserves me at my best,

But I'm home, honey, all right?

I'm home. I'm here, all right?

I love you. - I love you too.

- We did it, Mama. - [laughs]

[energetic music]

- The Laurens report is back.

I forgot about this group chat.

- Yeah.

Angelina's in this group chat. What the [bleep]?

- I said that this morning.

- It's like "The Twilight Zone."

- I'm like, "Wow. I'm in this." - Now I gotta go--

- How do we delete her? - Shut up.

- He said, "Excited to see you guys soon,"

which means we're not gonna see him today.

- Michael "The Situation" is in group chat,

so Mike is officially out of friggin' prison.

"Our long national nightmareis over.

"The Situation has been released from prison.

Karma's gonna be lit tonight."

That's what they said.

We're gonna give him hours.

Today, he can go home, he can do it with Laurens,

he can have pizza and French fries,

and, like, go crazy, relax,

binge your favorite shows, but tomorrow,

Michael has to come here, and I cannot wait.

I'm probably gonna cry because I love him and I miss him.

- Damn, the kid just did a bit, and it's done.

That's so dope.

- Yo, he's gonna--he's gonna act like nothing happened.

- I know. - I know him.

He's, like, making jokes already.

- "Where you been?"

[all laughing]

[knocking] - Who's that?

- Oh, uh, thank you.

I am living my best life right now, okay?

I got chicken fingers, fried shrimp, pizza,

diet sodas,

and the love of a good woman, and my best dog Mosey.

Honey, I'm about to call the squad right now.

- Really? - Yeah.

I missed out on so many moments

in the past eight months.

I've missed out on two meatballs being born.

Jenni got divorced. Jenni has a new boyfriend.

Ronnie went to rehab.

Pauly's traveling the world, and Vinny is a stripper.

- [laughs]

- I've missed out on a lot and I have a lot

to catch up on.

[phone trilling]

- Oh, [bleep]. Mike.

- No way.

- Yeah! - Hey, what's up!

- Yo, my God. all: Mike!

- Look, look at you!

- You look so good! - You look so skinny!

- What's up, guys? - What's up?

- This is insane. - We miss you!

- You look so happy. - Yeah, I miss you guys.

all: Hi Lauren.

- Hey. - Did you guys make a baby yet?

- Hey! - What's up?

We're about to right now.

all: Yeah!

- Stay on FaceTime.

- Right after we eat this pizza.

- You look so good.

- You look so-- - So skinny.

- Why do you look better than us?

- Right?

[all laughing]

- Mike looks phenomenal. He's clean cut.

His skin, his complexion.

He looks thin, but healthy.

Like, it's unbelievable.

I mean, I'm not saying go to jail for a little bit,

to straighten up, but holy [bleep].

He looks [bleep] great.

- I want to thank you guys for keeping in touch

with me in prison. It really meant a lot to me

that all you guys reached out, for the whole eight months.

It really made me feel, um, you know, like,

you know, really special, man.

I really appreciate that.

- Oh, all day, man. - We love you.

- For my wife not to miss a visit

on a weekly basis,

for my friends to keep in contact with me,

from day one to eight months, it meant a lot.

It did, and it kept--excuse me,

and it kept the drive going.

- You took that bit like a G. - Took that b*tch straight

to the door, cuz. Bounce back.

- Oh, my God. - Yo, why do you have

a neck tattoo? [all laughing]

[bleep] We miss you, man.

- All right, guys. I'll see you tomorrow.

I'm gonna get my pizza on and, uh, make some babies,

and I'll see you guys tomorrow.

- Make a little Situation baby!

- Mike has always been, like,

a huge, integral part of our group,

and you know, we felt that when he left,

so just having him back also just completes us as a whole.

- That was nice, honey. Mosey was the star of that.

He was the star there, buddy. You was the star right there.

Don't let anybody tell you any different.

- [laughs] - All right.

Come on, let's get ready for our pizza party.

- Peace.

We're gonna have a fun later. Practice making babies.

- [laughs]

Your daughter's mother's spirit made me feel like

it's not gonna end well, and she needs help.

- How many people think Vinny and Angelina

should get the healthy food?

All right, it's done. - Oh, my God.

[all shouting]

- They're touching peeshees. - He's [bleep]!

- That is soft. - BDS is in the building.

[all screaming]