- Oh, the [bleep] thing's dead.
- Oh, my God.
- A tragedy happens.
Should we bury it?
- We've done this before. - [bleep]
- Bunny--oh, I can't
- [crying]
- May he rest in peace.
- I'm gonna surprise these guys.
- Yeah. - [rings doorbell]
both: Hey!
- I was wondering if my old bed was still open?
- You're sleeping here? - [laughs]
[all screaming]
- ♪ Get crazy, get wild, let's party ♪
- Yeah, buddy!
- ♪ If you want to have fun ♪
- Party's here!
- The Situation is under construction.
- This might not have been the best idea.
- We're so classy now.
- On the seventh day, it'll be lit.
- Get the frig out of here, are you crazy?
- Um, hello?
- ♪ If you want to have fun and do something crazy ♪
- ♪ Back like I never left ♪
♪ With no ring ♪
♪ Nobody here to jump down like the king ♪
♪ Feel that great rush running through your veins ♪
- What is that wonderful smell?
- All right, this is too hot.
[smoke alarm beeping]
- Uh-oh. - See?
- Violation! Violation!
- What the hell? - It's so loud.
- It's time to wake up. Breakfast!
- [laughs] Hey, Keto!
You know if these bagels are low carbs?
- I got bacon. - It's delicious.
- My new wifey snuck it in last night.
- Ohh. - [bleep]
- See? That's why I didn't wanna sleep in there.
- Good night, Ronald. - Good night, Michael.
- Oh, God. - Good night, Lauren. [laughs]
- They making appointments.
- Imagine if you conceived here.
- [laughs]
- That'd be awesome. - [laughter]
- Uh, I think it's only right that we GTL today.
- We don't do it anymore.
No, I'm kidding. [laughter]
We really don't, though. - I was away for eight months.
Get ready for GTL. - Let's do it.
- Whoo!
And it feels like an eternity
since the last time MVP has GTL'd.
- Gym, tan, laundry. - GTL. Haircut.
GTL, baby. - What chest.
- Oh, yeah! Tanning, yeah!
- I don't think I'm gonna go to the gym, though,
'cause I wanna run some errands.
- Okay. When it comes to working out,
I have found my fire again.
Ahh.
I am a savage in the gym. Savage.
Mm.
Prison has hardened me. [laughs]
All right. Time to go put a tank top on.
- What are you, getting ready for cheerleading practice?
- [laughs]
- What are you, getting ready for your dodgeball game?
[laughs]
- What, do you play lacrosse? [laughter]
What, do you got a swim meet?
- [laughs]
What, are you getting ready for your big badminton game?
- [laughs]
- Pauly's like, "What's stretching?"
- [laughs] - "I don't know--
I've never heard of such a thing."
- Now you're making fun of me.
You know what they call that?
Bullying.
- [laughs]
- Cheech--
- Gym, tan, laundry. Guido robots.
Gym, tan, laundry.
[hip-hop music]
♪ ♪
- Ooh.
How about the gold-plated pen you guys bought me?
- For what? - To write down some questions
for the prenuptial agreement lawyer.
- Let's go downstairs so D can sleep.
Hey, Sue. It's Jenny. - Hey. Hi, how are you?
- I was hoping you could come by the house
and meet Angelina.
- Oh, yeah, absolutely.
- I really wanna introduce her to someone
that I know will be putting Angelina first
and protecting Angelina.
- How about if I have my own bank account.
- He can go to a bank and say, "Hey, my wife is unavailable.
"Here's my marriage certificate.
I need to access her bank account."
- Oh, [bleep] no. - Swear to God.
- Oh, [bleep] is getting serious right now,
and having Jenni kind of, like, coaching me--
I'm like, oh, my God.
Thank God I, like, have you here
because I need to protect myself.
Bank accounts - Yeah.
[phone ringing]
- Speaking of family, Grandma. I'm not answering it.
- Is that the crazy one? - That's the crazy b*tch.
- Ohh, I wanna hear her. - I should put it on speaker.
- Yeah, I wanna hear her.
- My grandmother is a psychic.
Do you know what she said to me?
She sees, in the future,
Jenni and Roger getting divorced.
Isn't that crazy?
Grandma?
- Whoop there--
- What? - What question you want?
I'm used to [bleep]-- but psychic only--
[bleep]
- what the hell are you talking about?
- [laughs] - [laughs] [bleep]
- She needs to date Uncle Nino.
Yep, that's why Angelina's the way that she is.
This grandma's dropping more F bombs
than I do in a full week in seconds.
Grandma, JWOWW has a question.
But I enjoy a good bat[bleep] crazy lady.
- Sure. - What-- right--
- What? - What? Wait, who--
Are you talking to me?
- Oh, yeah. What happened now?
- Wait--
- Oh, don't trust him? - Grandma.
[laughter]
- Grandma, stop! - It's fine. She's adorable.
I love it.
- Listen, when it comes to grandmas and me,
I'll never disrespect them.
She could literally say, "Zack is a mass m*rder*r,"
and I'll be like, "Mm-hmm. Yep, it's fine.
Whatever Grandma says."
- [laughs]
[laughter]
- I just completely understand
who you are as a human being in these last few minutes.
- Hey, Jenni, we gotta go out together.
- I would love that, Grandma. - Oh, my God.
What is going on here?
- Love you guys. Bye.
- Bye, Grandma. - Bye, Grandma. Bye.
- [laughs] That is you.
Yo, I just saw your future.
[upbeat music]
- ♪ Got the club blowing up on a weeknight ♪
♪ And all the ladies in this spot are looking all right ♪
- This is how we start our day.
You know what I mean? - Yep.
Gym, tan, haircut.
- Oh, I'm so down with that.
Can you pull that off? - Uh, I can't do it.
I gotta fly out. - Ronnie, that was the plan.
I was told that was the plan.
- I don't know, Mike. It's, uh--you know.
- Shady!
- Get out from that. - Ron, what the [bleep]?
Out of nowhere, Ronnie says he has to leave.
He's being very quiet.
Being quiet's not a good thing.
Something's up with the Ronnie and Jen saga.
- I have a flight at six.
My car doesn't come till :.
- This guy's like Marshall Mathers.
- You're gonna have to make good decisions
if you want better results.
He deserves happiness,
but that happiness probably doesn't include Jen.
- I'm just like, [bleep], you know,
like, doing everything I can to keep my personal life
out of this life.
Because when I am an open book,
I basically regret opening up.
It just never ends up well.
♪ ♪
- Give me a selfie of Gram.
Yes! This is--
look at this selfie queen. - I can't. She's--
- Yo, she takes more selfies than I do.
- She's not a normal human being.
I don't know how I-- - Leopard.
Wow. We need to meet this woman.
- All right. [sighs]
- I need to look, see if I have old notes.
- You know what? I am pretty proud of myself right now.
I'm taking a notebook and I'm writing down
all the questions that I have
for this prenuptial agreement lawyer.
What about the fact that Chris pays on the mortgage
but I'm on the deed?
I feel like I'm adulting. - And if you can't
come to terms with who gets the house,
then it has to be sold.
- You obviously had a prenup with Roger.
Why was he able to test it? - It's America
You're able to try and do anything you want.
- Chris [bleep] up, and he tests that [bleep].
Mother[bleep]'s getting buried in the backyard.
- Like the [bleep] bunny?
- Like the bunny in the backyard yesterday.
[opera music]
- We've done this before. - A few times.
- Buried a few. - [crying]
♪ ♪
- May he rest in peace. - [crying]
- Okay. [sighs] - [sobs]
- [laughs] Is that legal?
Wait, is that legal? Like, I remember
when I buried my ferret in Long Island it was ill*gal.
I buried my ferret. I had a ferret.
[bleep], I don't know. I like ferrets.
And it died, and I buried it, and I got in a lot of trouble
from, like, the landlord.
- Oh, my God. We buried an animal
in someone else's backyard.
Dude, what-- - Hold on. Buried animal
Monmouth County. - In someone's backyard.
I just feel like at the time, Deena was freaking out,
crying. - [crying]
- Does anyone have, like, a shoebox or something
that we can give it, like, a proper burial?
And now I'm fully regretting this decision.
- Let me-- - Wow, uh--
Oh, my God.
- "If you bury or abandon the caucus--"
Carcass? Carcass? - Caucus.
Secaucus. - Secaucus.
- In Secaucus? [laughter]
- Yeah, bro. - What the [bleep]?
Secaucus?
- "To bury the caucus of any dead animal
"in any lake, river, stream, meadow,
"or other public place or anyone else's backyard
"within a mile of another's residence
"who does not consent to the burial,
you will be guilty of a misdemeanor."
[laughs] - The [bleep]?
We actually committed a crime. - I'm not done.
"If you choose to bury a deceased animal's carcass,
"you must bury the carcass
at least four feet under the ground."
- We didn't even do that! - "You can be guilty
"of a misdemeanor offense every hour period
"that you permit an animal carcass to be present
on your property in violation of this rule."
[both laugh]
- I'm gonna piss my pants.
- Sue--my friend Sue, who is a family lawyer,
is her to educate Angelina on prenups.
- He was like, "Well, [bleep] you.
I want a prenup, too."
I said, "You don't have a [bleep] pot to piss in.
Shut up." - Ohh.
- Oh, God, it's open.
This is literally a mobster movie.
- [screaming] It opened!
- And they dig up the body and take it elsewhere.
[both screaming]
So I'm officially John Gotti.
[screaming] - This is [bleep] out.
[upbeat hip-hop music]
♪ ♪
- Oh, sun's out, g*ns out.
- Sun's out. The g*n show, kid.
- Look at this guy.
[bleep] That's the prison tank.
- Mike in the gym right now is definitely trying
to show off his new muscles, you know, I feel like
he just went to the store and purchased them.
He's so excited. He's just like,
"Look, they still got the tag on 'em and everything."
I can return 'em tomorrow."
- This that prison yard workout right here.
Prison yard.
- I can't remember the last time
all of us GTL'd together.
I mean-- - Where's Mike?
- Mike was Big Daddy Sitch.
He used to eat candy bars on the treadmill.
- You guys are gonna like the tanning salon.
- But now, like, this just feels amazing
to do with all the boys.
- Walking by, they be like, "Yo, this guy's
doing light weights. - I'm gonna get out of here.
- Where you going, Ron? - You done?
- Yeah. - Okay.
- Yo. - See you.
Stop flexing.
- It feels good to have all the boys back, GTLing,
but gotta prioritize.
I gotta head back to my family.
See you, brother. - God bless.
- Nice to see you. - Yes, sir.
- ♪ You got to shout it ♪
♪ Ain't gotta ask ♪
♪ My revenue ♪
♪ Whole lot of cash ♪
[doorbell dings]
- [gasps] - It's happening.
- There she is. - Yeah, best behavior.
It's a lawyer.
- I'm, like, nervous. - Don't be, Ang.
- Just ask questions.
- My friend Sue, who is a family lawyer,
is here to educate Angelina on prenups.
- Sue, Angelina. - Hi.
- The one that's getting married.
- Nice to meet you. - Hi, nice to meet you.
Thanks for coming. Jenni has been through a lot
with her divorce, and especially with prenups,
Jenni actually understands everything about a prenup.
So I appreciate her trying right now
to help me as a friend to protect me
and make sure that I don't make
the wrong decision for the future.
- You look scared. - Oh.
- Are you scared? - She's really nervous.
- So, Chris, he's-- he's all right.
Like, at first when-- it's always, like,
a touchy subject to bring it up.
I brought it up to him a few times.
A couple times when I was drunk,
which I shouldn't have.
I said, "You don't have a [bleep] pot to piss in.
Shut up." - Oh my.
- Of course you did. - Well, that's a good--
I mean, really, just think about that.
Do you wanna pay him alimony? - No.
- What is--what is alimony?
- If you are the primary breadwinner,
you're gonna have to support that other person
and maintain a standard of living
that's comparable to what you had during the marriage.
- Oh, hell no. - What the [bleep]?
- What am I? His [bleep] sugar mama?
- Like, no, I'm sorry. I ain't doin' [bleep].
Angelina really entertains me,
and I just like watching her.
- He was like, "Well, [bleep] you.
I want a prenup, too. I have--"
I'm like, "What the [bleep] do you have?
[bleep], and a--"
- Sue looks like a professional lawyer,
and Angelina saying, "[bleep] this,
[bleep] that--" - What if he ripped it up?
Like, "[bleep] your prenup," and rips it and goes, "b*tch,"
and throws it somewhere.
- I have a copy. Yeah. - Well, obviously.
- She probably thinks this b*tch is crazy.
- And as great as your relationship may be,
you don't really know somebody
until you're divorcing them. - [bleep] hits the fan.
- Yeah. - Animals--
what happens with the animals?
- So animals that you get during the marriage
are considered property. - Well, he already said
he wants to get Angelina, and then--
- You have-- - Yeah.
- She has a cat named Angelina. - Oh, my God.
- You named your-- - Yeah.
- She's really weird with the cat, too.
- I love her. Oh, she's so fat and cute.
So, he would take Angelina, and then he would take Tabitha,
and I would take Vanessa, and I would take Peanut.
- So you'd write that out. - So we'd write that down.
- Yeah. Yeah. - Okay.
- I mean, nobody wants to prepare for a divorce,
but the reality is, you know, would you rather
deal with it now or come into my office
and I quote you a $, retainer
to deal with the disaster you're in.
Or do I just say, "Let's try to enforce the prenup?"
- Yeah. - You know.
And then hopefully you never need it.
- Hopefully. Now that I had this meeting with Sue,
I have a little bit more of a clearer mindset
as to what a prenup is and what I should do.
I appreciate Jenni's advice I'm very grateful.
- I'm just gonna use the bathroom.
- Are you gonna throw up?
- No, I just-- - Oh.
- What if we hypothetically buried an animal
on someone else's property?
- We buried it-- - It's a misdemeanor of, like--
- She's your lawyer. You can be honest with your lawyer.
- Well, I don't really think there's a privilege right now.
- You can't bury an animal on someone else's property?
- Yeah, you probably can't.
I'm thinking you should remove it.
- Yeah. You just have to unbury it.
How big of a hole did you dig? - Not big enough.
- You wanna get it before it starts to smell, too.
- Oh, my God.
I really don't wanna undig this bunny,
but I don't wanna go to jail.
- Who dug the hole? - We did. We're the worst.
This is literally a mobster movie,
and they dig up the body and take it elsewhere.
So, I am officially a mobster.
I'm John Gotti.
♪ ♪
- Thank you. I'll be in touch.- - You're so welcome.
So nice meeting you. - Yes, nice to meet you.
- Call me if you have any questions.
- Thank you. - All right.
Good luck with the bunny.
Call me if you need help with that issue.
Oh, God. - I think the police are here
- No. - I'm just kidding.
- I'm like, what? Oh, my God.
You can get a misdemeanor from basically burying an animal
in somebody else's back yard.
- Is there a black garbage bag?
- I don't see one.
We need to dig this bunny up.
- Well, hey, this is another thing off our bucket list.
- Unburying a dead body? - I mean--
- Don't judge me if I throw up.
- Oh, the shovel. Well, we're not gonna see it.
- [gasps] What was that?
You see it fly in my face?
- - No, just a--
- We're not gonna tell D right now.
I can't do that to her.
We're just gonna unbury it on the low
and then throw it away in a garbage bag and move on.
- I'm scared. What if it's alive?
- Shut up. - Like "Pet Cemetery."
- Oh, my God.
- Oh, God. This is terrible.
♪ ♪
- Yo, let's go make this factor complete
and get a haircut. - Yup. Hey.
- That's what you call a parking spot, right there.
- Yeah, dudes getting haircuts. - Yep. Back to the basics.
- I like when Mike's around.
We get to go to the gym, we get haircuts.
- I know. - We get sleep,
we eat healthy. - We eat.
[laughter]
Just GTLing with the boys
is the best thing in the world right now.
- He was getting them prison cuts in there, though.
- Oh, God. - Prison cuts.
- Unbeknownst to the public,
there actually is a barber shop in the prison.
I was getting two haircuts a week,
but they were prison cuts. - [laughs]
- You know? - He came here the other day,
he had a straight line around his--
- Oh, damn. - Yeah. In the back.
- Haircuts in jail cost $ per haircut.
But in prison, $ for a haircut
could be Band-A*DS, some Doritos, and a can of tuna.
Yeah, there was, like two guys. They did their best, obviously.
You know what I mean? But it is what it is.
♪ ♪
- Oh, my God.
This is [bleep] awful.
We're going in, and I'm not okay with this.
- Is it here? We should've put a cross down
so we know where it is.
I don't see it. Wow.
How far did we go down?
- Are you kidding? It's not here?
- Where is it?
- Where the [bleep] is the box?
Like, where is it? Like, it was, like, here.
What is that? What is that? - It's this!
- No, that's not it. - Oh, God, it's open.
Is it open? - It's not open.
It is open! - Oh, my God!
- Ohh! It's open! - It's open. It's open.
- [bleep]!
[chatter on TV]
- [coughing] - I'm out!
[bleep] helping, I'll see you later, b*tches.
- I peed.
This is not okay. This isn't right.
Jesus would not be happy with us right now.
- [bleep]. - I'm--how does this happen?
[bleep] oh, from--[bleep] from the weight of the dirt.
- Shut up. Come on, Angelina.
- Oh, I'm not doing that [bleep].
[both screaming]
No, no, no, no. [both screaming]
Just wait! Wait, you gonna tip it or knock him out!
- Oh, my God. [all screaming]
- This is [bleep] done. - It stinks!
It stinks! Oh!
- Ahh! [laughs] Stop.
I'm worried.
I never wanna do that again.
- Ohh. - Is it squished?
- Ohh! - Oh, my God.
- It's a-- - Oh, my God.
- I'm scarred for life.
- Wow, it's like a pancake. - Shut the [bleep] up.
- Oh, [bleep] you. Oh. - Ugh.
- Throw it out. - Where is the garbage?
That way.
Pretty much tops the most [bleep] up thing
I've ever done in my life.
- Do you put it in recycle?
- [groans] - I don't know.
I've never recycled a bunny before.
I don't know. I don't wanna recycle a bunny.
- Should you do recycle or regular bin?
- There's a [bleep] garbage thing!
- I know, but where do I put it?
Uh--
- I feel terrible doing this. I don't like doing this.
- I'm so upset.
I'm traumatized. - Oh, my God.
- That's upsetting. - Well, at least we're not
going to jail anymore.
- We cannot tell Deena about this.
- We cannot tell her anything. - Blood brother pact.
- Pinky swear. - Yeah.
Try and do something nice, it backfires.
- Oh! I gotta wash my hands! [spitting]
Oh, God! I just put my finger in my mouth.
[sighs]
- Hey! - Hi, love.
Oh, [bleep].
I haven't seen since Vegas.
This is gonna be very awkward.
- I actually have a few questions.
- Oh, [bleep].
[upbeat music]
- So Angelina's bachelorette--
we keep talking about it, but, like,
I took the initiative and I booked it, so--
[laughs] - I'm coming in your bed.
All right, where are we doing this?
- We're going to New Orleans.
- Cool. I've never been.
Oh, my God. You're gonna love it.
- Angelina's wedding is right around the corner.
That means Angelina's bachelorette
is literally, like, tomorrow.
- I'm down for it. - I feel like this
is gonna be the perfect, perfect bachelorette.
- You had yours there. - I love it there.
- What did you do? - We did, like, ghost tours,
there's, like, food and stuff.
- There's, like, a lot of bars. - There's so much stuff.
There's bars. You can drink in the street.
- I wanna get wasted. - Oh, yeah.
- Angelina's bachelorette is gonna be a [bleep] mess.
- I brought some stuff, so I figured we can, like,
kinda surprise her.
- Today? - Yeah.
There are the hats. We have to be sneaky.
[laughs]
- Oh!
Let's make it look like cheap Walmart.
- Oh, I'm stuck. - Straight to New Orleans.
[jazzy music]
Bam.
We're putting up, like, all the Mari Gras colors.
And we're doing streamers, we're doing boas.
We're doing it all.
- Wow, guys.
Way better than my divorce one--I'm kidding.
- Oh, my God.
I feel like Angelina is gonna love this.
We're, like, the best friends ever.
She's gonna have an amazing time.
Girl, we're gonna go, we're gonna have fun
for, like, two days.
- k*lled it! - Bam.
- She's gonna be so surprised, I feel.
- ♪ This is my moment ♪
♪ And I'm gonna take advantage to the fullest ♪
♪ Doing everything the haters said I couldn't yeah ♪
♪ This is my moment ♪
- Oh, my God, what a successful day.
- Very good day.
Mom?
- Damn, those g*ns is looking big, son.
- Oh, thank you, sir. - Gotta watch out, son,
I'm on probations. - [laughs]
- Oh, I'll show you my toe. It's [bleep] up.
- What? - Why?
- I was playing basketball, and some guy that's, like,
'", like, stepped in my toe.
- Oh. - And that's when--
That's when this happened.
- Look like a scarecrow.
[both scream]
- There you-- put it back on!
Put it back on!
- What are you guys doing? all: Hey!
- Hey, girl. - You guys are being weird.
What are you-- what are you doing?
- So we have a surprise for you.
- We have a surprise for you. - What?
- I think, like, we should blindfold Angelina.
- Oh, God. - Kinda, like, get her anxious.
Like, "What the [bleep] are you guys doing to me?"
- Stand up. - Come on.
- Surprise, you b*tch. - Get that door.
- Your t*ts are huge.
- Okay, ready? - We're gonna twirl you.
- One, two, three. - Maybe you will.
I don't trust you. - Four--
- I'm gonna throw up. - Five, six.
- Make it even. - Yeah. All right.
- Come on. - Okay.
- I'm very nervous. - Wait, um--
I feel like our decorations look amazing.
I'm really excited to surprise Angelina,
so I want this to be a dramatic reveal for her.
Girl, you're gonna love this.
- One, two, three!
all: Bachelorette party! - Oh, my God.
You guys are crazy. - Whoo!
- We're going to New Orleans, b*tch.
[all cheering]
- Show your t*ts! - Hey, Jen--
- Show your t*tties! - Show your tit--
No.
This is so cute.
Like, I'm so taken back right now.
- Show your t*tties! - Whoo!
- Let's go! - Oh, my God.
all: Bachelorette party!
- Whoo! - Yeah!
- What are they doing?
- Yeah, make it rain. - Oh, my God.
You're like Jerry Springer. - Yay! Whoo!
- No, no! - No!
You're not allowed.Go away.
- You're not allowed. [all shouting]
- That's [bleep] up.
Show me your boobies!
- It's just the girls. - Yeah, it's a bachelorette.
- It's just girls. - What?
- Just the girls. - Seriously.
- We only go on vacations together.
- No. Well, not this time. - Not this time.
- Girls only.
- Like, this is called a bachelorette.
It's all girls. It's a vag*na party,
and we're gonna celebrate with p*nis straws,
and you're not invited, I'm sorry.
No boys allowed.
- How are you gonna have a party without the stripper?
- We got a stripper and a DJ. - Exactly.
- And an ex-con. [laughter]
- That's like having a dinner without the food.
- It's like playing basketball without a basketball.
- That's like BDS without the funfettis.
- Damn.
What are they gonna do, go to bed at
Bunch of moms down there. - [laughs]
- Yeah. - Wine night.
Mom juice. - Turn up.
- You can't do a party without the most valuable players.
- Mm-mm. - Facts.
- Well, that was great. - [laughs]
- I'm excited. - Sames.
- Very excited. - Mm-hmm.
I have to go home to the kids.
With my divorce, one chapter's closed,
but custody and divorce-- two different things.
Zack's picking me up.
- Is he? - Yeah.
- Damn.
♪ ♪
[rings doorbell]
- Who the [bleep]?
- Oh, that's Zack? - Are you gonna
make out with him? - Oh, [bleep].
I haven't seen since Vegas.
Me and Jenni, our beef is squashed at this point,
but this is still gonna be very awkward.
♪ ♪
- Babe! - Hi, love.
How are you?
- I was literally just talking about you.
Um--and he's here, and he's all snazzy.
- Oh, my God! - Whoa!
[dramatic music]
- Angelina, shut up.
Don't say one word.
Be cool, be calm, be collective.
Everything will be fine.
- Oh, no. 's here. - Ohh.
- Oh, . - Oh, you never met .
- Never met him. - Oh, [bleep].
- He's a big boy,
and if he frowns at you, he's not upset.
It's just his face.
- Oh, for real? - Mm-hmm.
- Oh, damn. All right.
- Must've just got out of daycare.
- [laughs]
- All I heard about
was that he was a wrestler,
he's a big guy, and they have great sex.
- Should I bring them down? - Yeah, go get them.
- Okay. - You stay there, babe.
- I'm staying.
♪ ♪
Hi, Angelina. - Hello.
What's up? How are you?
- Awkward. - [laughs]
- Hi, JWOWW. - Zack's here.
all: Whoa!
- He came to pick me up, 'cause I gotta go get the kids,
but he wanted to meet you. - Okay, cool.
- I got heartburn now, I'm so nervous.
Like, indigestion.
Mike still hasn't met Zack.
I really need to get these two people together
because it's very important that Mike likes him.
I'm very nervous, Mike, I'll be honest.
You're, like, my best friend. - I know, I know.
- Meeting--
I'm getting introverted, and weird, and, like--
[sighs] Just calm. Whoo-sah.
All right, this is the last one you gotta meet.
- Why am I scared? [laughter]
- Hey! - How's it going, man?
- Nice to meet you, man. - How are you?
- You make Michael so small. - Hey, guys. What's up?
- Nice to meet you. - Nice to meet you.
- Yeah. I heard a lot about you.
- I'm , I'm in my suit, and, uh--
- Who's that? - This is Jenni.
She's blacked out. He's dancing with her.
He's, like, choking her out. [bleep]
The things I'm gonna do to you later.
- Yeah? Like, good things or-- - Good things, good things.
Yeah. So where are you guys going?
Is it date night? - No.
He just dresses like this. - Oh.
- So Zack walks in, and he's wearing a full-on sh**t suit.
Like, suit. [laughs]
- Nice. [laughter]
All right, all right.
- You see the smile on Jenni's face?
- Yeah. - I see the smile
on both of their faces. - Like, you can see her teeth.
She never smiles with her teeth.
- As soon as got to Vegas,
[bleep] was weird.
But listen, if makes Jenni happy,
then we are his fans.
- Jenni looks so giddy. - She is giddy.
Doesn't it sound crazy? - Actually, both of them do.
It is very interesting that Jenni has
a -year-old boyfriend,
but I've never seen Jenni glow and look so happy
as she does right now.
Oh, my God. It's Mrs. Situation.
[all greeting]
- Gym, tan, Laurens. - Oh, hey.
- How are you? - It's one big family.
- Good to see you. - Meeting
for the first time, he seems nice.
But there are so many things that I need to know.
I actually have a few questions.
- Oh, [bleep].
- Oh, dear Jesus. I'm praying.
- When did you and Jenni first meet?
- We met, uh, at Jenni's wedding.
- Jenni's wed-- oh, my goodness.
- [laughs] - Awkward!
- Okay, all right, all right.
- Awkward.
- Max bench.
- Jenni's vag*na.
[laughter]
- Oh, my God.
Things couldn't be more awkward right now.
- I heard the sex is fire.
- [laughs]
- Awkward.
- [singing "The Circle of Life]
- We are so excited for Mike to meet the new editions
because while he was away,
two new little humans were born.
- Babies! [cheering]
- Oh, my God. - Oh, my God.
[upbeat music]
♪ ♪
- I heard the sex is fire. - Awkward.
[laughter]
- Mike's meeting Zack for the first time,
and it's getting so awkward.
I wanna die.
- Uh, occupation?
- What do you wanna be when you grow up?
I'm still struggling to figure it out.
- You're--you're--
- No, 'cause if you say wrestling, like,
he loves wrestling. - He looks like a wrestler.
- Yeah. - I would love for Jenni
to come out and do a show with me,
but she won't do it. - She would k*ll it.
Are you kidding? - She would be amazing.
- Oh, no.
Would you do it if they could do it with you?
- You know I'm there. - I'll be willing.
- I'll do it. - I loves my match.
- Would you? - I'd watch my friends.
- Zack thinks that Jenni should, like,
wrestle in the ring with him and stuff like that.
At first, I'm like, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Go with it. And then all of a sudden,
I think about what my grandmother said today.
- Don't trust him. - Oh, don't trust him?
- Grandma! - No, he just wants publicity.
- I appreciate it, Grandma.
- Zack is using Jenni, and he's not a good guy.
- I say we do it. - I love that idea.
- That is funny. - That's the only way
you would do it, too. - Probably.
- Ding, ding, ding. Grandma is right again.
- Oh, [bleep]. - Oh, my God.
You don't even look at the time.
- Oh, yeah, it's time. I gotta go get my kids.
- Go get your kids. - I gotta go.
So, I'll see you b*tches in the morning.
- Bye, sis. - Bye.
- Meeting for the first time,
I thought he was nice. I thought he was classy.
I thought he was well-dressed.
- Enjoy. - Nice to meet you.
- Good to meet you, man. - That's my sister
right there, I want her to be happy,
and I'm very eager to continue to see
that relationship and support Jenni
any way I can.
- Bye, guys. both: Bye!
- Enjoy. - Love you!
- Bye, Jenni! - See you tomorrow.
Text us later.
♪ ♪
- All right. Let's go get some foods.
- Hi, Michael. - I have a little hoodie on.
Is it a little loud? - No, bro.
- Are you wearing heels? - Yeah.
- [sighs] I don't wanna wear heels.
- Just trying to cover up the g*ns a little bit,
you know what I'm saying? - Only one way
to cover up the g*ns.
Wear a sleeveless vest. [laughter]
- Cabs are here! The cabs are here!
- When you get out of the neighborhood.
- Oh. - Oh, God.
- That was a good one.
- ♪ They don't want it with us ♪
♪ We want the whole world to see ♪
♪ ♪
♪ That it's our time ♪
♪ ♪
♪ It's our time ♪
♪ But they don't want it with us ♪
- Oh, my God, I'm starving.
- All right, what's good here?
- I might get the filet mignane.
- You haven't had one of these in, like, two years.
It's a celebration. - Yes.
- I'm super excited for dinner tonight
because this is the first time Mike is out on the town
after getting out of prison, and it's with us.
I'm truly honored.
- We're gonna deal.
- Presents! - Oh, yeah.
- Oh, my God. I love presents.
- Angelina. - Angelina.
- Angelina. Who's go--
- This is heavy. - I got something? Wow.
Aw. - Thank you!
[laughter]
- We're all like children. - It's from both of us,
but it's really from me.
- From Mrs. Situation. - Lauren!
- But it's just to say thank you to each of you
for being there for me when Mike was away.
- Aww. - Lauren!
- Because you all were, in your own, unique way.
- Thank you so much. - Thank you, Lauren.
- Aww! Oh, I love it!
- GG!
- Wait, I was gonna go like this.
- Aw, this is dope.
- Cool! - It's so cute.
- So cool. - Aww, thank you.
- I'm putting this in my kitchen.
- Mike and Laurens got us the cutest gift,
a family picture of all of us at their wedding,
and I love it, and I'm gonna cherish this forever
and I can't wait to put it in my house.
- When Mike went away, he told me you guys--
I could rely on you, and, like,
lean on you like family.
- If you guys could check in on her
every now and then with a text,
or if you guys are in the area, maybe go to lunch, or--
- I really didn't know if I could do that
until it actually happened.
- I was wondering if you wanted to fly out with me
because I know you never been to Vegas.
- Yeah, for sure.
- Treat thyself, like your husband says.
- [bleep] - [laughs]
- You all had reached out individually and separately
to be there for me in different ways,
and I appreciate that.
Over it. You just--
- I can't imagine how you feel.
We love you, Lauren. - Love you, Boo.
We love you. We're all here for you.
- Gorgeous. Muah. - On your mark. Get set.
both: Go.
- Whoo!
- And I wanted to give you guys this photo
as a reflection of, like, our first family photo,
like, all together. - Yeah.
- Laurens, when you said yes, you wasn't saying yes
to just him, you said yes to all--
you married all of us. - Yeah.
- Yay! [all clapping]
- I will always be eternally grateful for my squad,
and this right here is just an appreciation gift
that--thank you so much for looking out for my wifey
and being a support system while I was away.
- To Lauren. - To Lauren.
- To Lauren. all: To Lauren!
- Yes! - Salud.
- Ugh. Whoa.
- Damn. - Holy crap.
- We're gonna get, uh-- Do you smell it?
- Ooh, it's pretty strong.
- It's just straight vodka. - Yeah.
- It's gross. I don't know why we like this,
but it's gross, and we like it.
- Perfect drink for you, Angelina.
- Would you like me to throw it in your lap,
if you keep it up?
- Oh, my God. - Ooh, my God.
- Vinnie, confess your love to me.
- Yeah. - Ooh.
- She's the one that got away.
- Angelina's supposed to be getting married
in, like, tomorrow.
- Vinnie, give me your ba*ls. - Oh, my God!
- I guess we'll see. It's a wait and see.
- Gimme your ba*ls. - [laughs]
- Did you sign the prenup today?
- Ooh. - No, but if my--
[bleep], if you want me to sign one,
I'm not signing one, b*tch.
- Wait. - What?
- [laughs]
- This is the typical fight-flirting
of Staten Island.
And I'm like, yeah, girl.
You definitely need this prenup.
- Does anyone object to this wedding?
- Oh, [bleep]. No, [bleep].
- ♪ Let's get it jumping ♪
♪ Hey, let's get it jumping ♪
- Out of the five days that I've been home,
we've had--we've had sex, I think
three days out of the four,
and then there was one day of a [bleep] job.
- I hate him. [laughs]
- Did you get lockjaw 'cause you haven't done it
in so long? - I need to, like,
break it in. [laughter]
- Hey, Ang, do you get lockjaw when you do it?
- Yeah. - Doesn't she abstain
from that act, like, typically?
- No, I do it, but it's, like--
it's--it's hard.
It's hard to, um-- - It's supposed to be hard.
If he was soft-- - I feel like I have
a smaller--
- You have a smaller. Uh-- - Palate? Palate?
Esophagus? No, not esophagus. - No, that's the, uh,
latimus dorsimus. - Yes.
There we go. I was gonna say that.
I have a smaller neckline.
- Wait, what are we talking about?
- Yo, what is in that martini? - Oh, my God.
That's my cue. Check, please.
- ♪ Hey now ♪
♪ There's a party going down ♪
♪ Party people ♪
- You got the keys?
- Oh, yeah the guidos are here.
- I'm getting my jammies on.
- Going to bed, chooch?
- Uhh.
- [blowing nose] - Let's go to bed.
- I love you.
- You're the ketoest guidoI know.
- So I really, really was hoping that we can
get CJ and Angela to meet Mike this trip,
but I feel like we ran out of days.
- Well, honestly, we have one day left.
Maybe tomorrow during breakfast.
- And we can surprise him.
- We'll surprise him. - Aww.
- That's a good idea.
- We should sneak out tonight,
then we come back for breakfast.
- Yeah. - We basically gave birth
to our babies when Mike was in prison.
Let's put the baby meatballs in the Free Sitch onesie.
- Oh, my God. He'd die.
- He'll die. Oh, you can't say anything, though.
- I won't. I promise.
- Deena, pretend we're sleeping in our beds.
Like, put pillows under like we're escaping jail.
- Yeah. All right. - I will cover for both of you.
- I feel like this is "Mission: Impossible,"
and honestly, I always wanted to be a secret agent.
So faking my body like it's in the bed,
but it's not, and putting Pedialyte by me
because Mike knows I'm always hung over.
- Ooh, mine looks like me. - Good job, girls.
- Yeah, that looks real. - This is like
we're back in high school, sneaking out of the house.
[whispering] Come on. We have to tiptoe.
[sneaky music]
Bye. - Bye.
- See you in the morning, lovie.
- I think we're gonna pull this off.
We're like spies.
Shh, but take your shoes off.
Shh. - All right.
- Are you MILFs?
[laughs]
- We're secret agent moms.
Shh, shh, shh. [laughter]
We're ninjas. - Where are you going?
- [laughs] Me and Deena are frickin' amazing.
We got out of the house.
Mike didn't see us or hear us.
We're gonna k*ll this mission.
- ♪ It's worth something ♪
♪ It's worth something baby ♪
♪ Watchin' how you shaking bout to take it ♪
♪ Back to basics ♪
♪ Same old two-step ♪
♪ I'm wow, Hun is crazy ♪
♪ All the wing tips, vodka and cranberry ♪
- I wanna live somewhere where it's always warm
so I can just always drink iced coffee.
I just feel like just so your bones can survive
'cause they're so brittle.
- All right, babe.
Have fun. - See you later.
Zack dropped me off, and I'm super--
I don't know, a little emotional.
Hello?
Because it's our last day in the house together.
- What's up, Mike? What's up, Laurens?
- Good morning. - Hiding the g*ns today, too?
- Yeah. - You definitely should.
- You know me. I need a spray tan, but--
- Yeah. - Same.
- Rome was not built in a day, so--
- Morning. - What are you doing?
- Why does it look like they're in their beds?
- They went to go get the kids so Mike could be surprised.
- [gasps] He hasn't met the mini ba*ls.
- I know. - They're like mini meatballs.
- I know. So cute.
- Honey, would you like your breakfast?
- Yes, please.
- How did they put surprise on you?
- I don't know. I'm-- - Girls, come on.
It's breakfast!
- [bleep] - Angelina. We need you.
- Vinnie needs you. - He's not coming up right now.
[phone line trilling]
- Hold on. Nicole's pooping.
- Nicole's pooping. - Ew!
- Where are you? - I'm, like, five minutes out.
- All right. Hurry up because he's starting
to, like, you know, say breakfast is ready,
and we have to hurry up.
Please hurry. - All right. All right.
- All right.
- They're taking extra long.
Extra long.
Morning, everyone.
- Morning, dear.
♪ ♪
- Hi. How are you? - Good.
- We are so excited for Mike to meet the new additions.
- [singing "The Circle of Life"]
- Because while he was away,
two new little humans were born,
and he hasn't met them yet.
The meatballs. - Team Meatballs.
- Hi, look, this is your friend.
It's your cousin. - Hi, CJ.
Mike and Laurens really wanted to see the baby
and the roomies. - Yeah.
- So the babies are here. - Yeah.
- You guys ready to do this?
Pound it out. - Pound it.
- You guys ready? - Are you ready?
Free Sitch! - Free Sitch! Free Sitch!
Free Sitch!
- Nicole! We're leaving!
- Oh, don't scare her.
- All right, we're up. - Hey!
- Good morning! - Hello!
- What? - Babies!
[cheering]
- Oh, my God. - Look at their shirts.
- Oh, my God.
- I'm trying to, like, pack for New Orleans.
I know after the episode, Jenni was hurt.
- I don't know if she's coming.
- Did this girl ever give a [bleep] about my feelings?
I don't give a [bleep] about hers.
[horn blaring] - Oh, yeah!
- The girls are headed to New Orleans,
and it's time for a boys' weekend in Vegas.
- You come with me and then kinda
surprise her that you're there.
- Oh, my God.