04x02 - Taken Pauly

[bunniefuu]

- You are the dump to our island.

- Oh! - Oh!

- Calm down, Staten Island. - Oh, my...

The wedding drama has continued to escalate.

- I'm still hurt--I'm actually really hurt right now.

- I don't think I could ever be in the same room as her.

- I don't ever want to see her again.

Wait, what the [bleep] is this?

- Why would you decide to go on social media prior

to reaching out to me?

- I'm just so over it. Like, go away.

- It's my prerogative... - Yeah, exactly.

- If I want to go on my [bleep] social media

and say what the hell I want.

- I'm going to w*r today to try to fix things.

- Well, good luck with that.

- Breaking news tonight: The coronavirus is forcing

millions more Americans into virtual lockdown.

- , like, what in the world is happening?

- ♪ Get crazy, get wild ♪

♪ Let's party, get loud ♪ - Yeah, buddy!

- The Situation is under construction.

- This might not have been the best idea.

- We're so classy now.

- On the seventh day, it'll be lit.

- Get the frig out of here, you crazy!

- Um, hello?

- ♪ If you wanna have fun, then do something crazy ♪

[hip hop music]

♪ ♪

♪ Ain't a g*dd*mn thing like the real me ♪

♪ Pull up pull up to your city ♪

♪ If you feel me, feel me ♪

♪ Talk a big game y'all just little league ♪

♪ No, no, no, out here doing my thing ♪

- Vinny! - Oh, God.

- Skrrt! Hold up.

- Vin! It's Uncle Nino!

- What are you doing here? - Come out to see you.

I haven't seen you in a long time.

- Yeah. Let's keep it like that.

I don't know where you been. - I can't come in?

- No! I'm afraid of what you're giving me

through this [bleep] door. - What you talking about?

Go [bleep] yourself. I love you.

This [bleep] COVID sucks. COVID, my ba*ls.

- Quarantine life: In case we run out of food,

I have all canned items.

We have an entire container, all the baby stuff.

Mama is going crazy here.

- ♪ Yo, yo ♪

- Honey, we got a package. - Don't put it down!

- What do you mean? - No, no, no--

- This is what we have to do? - Yes!

- . It's wild because

packages come in the mail,

and you want to open them so quickly,

but you can't because there's all these COVID protocols,

and you have to spray them and wash them down,

and you got to have the gloves on.

You got to have the mask on.

- Stop it.

- Hey. What's up? What's up? What's up?

- Holy beard! What the-- What the beard is going on?

- I don't know what happened.

- Bro, I didn't even know you could grow facial hair.

- Neither did I!

[both laughing]

- New beard, who dis?

- Damn, my dude! - I didn't know it was real.

- Yep! - Hey, guys.

- Yo, Vinny! New beard alert!

Vinny, he grew his beard way quicker than you did, bro.

That's crazy. - Pauly has a beard.

He didn't check with me first, and you know what?

I'm going to let it slide because of the pandemic,

but usually, he's supposed to check with me on these things.

- Crazy. What is corona anyway? - It's really bad.

- You can't even go to gyms. - Gym, tan, isolation now.

- Vin, you love this because you don't like people anyway,

so, like, the fact that you don't have

to be around anyone is like--

- Introvert!

- Nothing has really

changed for me.

[light music playing]

♪ ♪

I kind of like quarantine. Ha ha.

- Yo, Vinny, what are you going to do

when you bring randoms over? Are they going to wear masks?

- Bro, no randoms right now. - They already do.

- That's how bad it is.

- Well, at least you won't have the clap for a month

or so, then, right?

- Yeah. You know, just trading one virus for the other.

[indistinct] is going to walk into my body and be like,

"Naw, yo. I'm good.

I don't want no beef [indistinct]!"

[laughter]

- With this quarantine, man, I don't know if we're going

to be able to get the band back together so soon, man.

- Getting everyone back together

and trying to move forward, but now we can't.

Everything shut down.

Nobody can do anything.

It's like a snow day that just keeps going.

- ♪ Yo ♪

- This is not right.

I hate it.

[hip hop music]

I quit. - ♪ Let's go ♪

♪ I be balling to my grave ♪

♪ Balling to my grave whoo ♪

♪ I be balling to my grave ♪

- The numbers in Jersey just keep going up,

and I'm having anxiety, and my freaking husband

has to go to work and then come back home.

- What's up, bud? - CJ.

- Hey, hey, hey.

- You can't touch Daddy yet. He has to go get showered.

♪ ♪

- Oh, God. I've never [bleep]

sanitized this much [bleep] in my life.

♪ ♪

Spray that [bleep] now too!

♪ ♪

- Vinny! I'm back, Vinny!

Let me in! - Oh, my God.

Uncle Nino, you can't come in here!

- I got a mask on. - We're in quarantine!

- It's an N- mask! - Yeah, you need N--.

Get the [bleep] out of here.

- I love you. Goodbye. - God help me.

[spacey discordant music]

♪ ♪

[phone rings]

♪ ♪

- Yo. What's going on?

- What's up? Not much, bro.

Just over here packing some boxes,

getting ready to get the [bleep] out of here,

finally moving to LA.

- It's me, bro. You know, it's the best time.

I love Vegas. I got my daughter out of it.

But I just think that California is a better move

to start over and, like, just become the person

that I want to be for the rest of my life.

- Yeah, bro, fresh start, start over, you know?

- Yeah. [laughing]

[electronic rock music]

♪ ♪

- ♪ Takes me... ♪

- Hello?

Is anybody there?

Since we all can't get together,

we are having a family video chat.

Hello?

- DJ Pauly D Zoom family dinner.

Where Vinny at? - About to meet the roommates

on Zoom,

and we're going to have a quarantine family dinner.

- How do I work this thing? Hello?

[beep] - Hello, there.

- [laughing]

- What's up, Deena! - Oh, okay. Hey, guys!

- What up? - Oh, my God, JWoww is here!

- What's up, guys?

- Vinny's probably on his bicycle.

- Here! - There he is.

[laughter]

- What are you eating, Pauly? What is that?

- We got steak and a potato.

I already had my broccoli. What do you got there?

- I got steak and lobster, surf and turf.

- Oh, my God, so fancy.

- I have a diner salad.

I could really use a lobster right now.

- We're all eating [bleep] $ meals,

and Mike's eating like a gourmet meal.

- We are missing somebody. - Angelineers.

- Oh! Ha ha ha ha!

- I'm about to call her up on this thing.

- I know, right - Oh, God.

- Too soon, guys. - Ooh!

♪ ♪

- Babe? - Hi, babe.

- You cook dinner? - Yeah. Here.

- Half a sandwich? - Yeah. You want a napkin?

What do you want-- - No. I want a dinner.

- I just didn't want to cook tonight, so--

- You cook once every three months, and you post it

on Instagram to look like you're doing something.

- That's not true. This is just as good as a home-cooked meal.

- Yeah, but where's the rest of it?

It's half a sandwich. - Well, that's all

you're going to get. - Oh, God.

- How's everyone's quarantine? - Pretty good.

- Good. - Hashtag team probation!

- Mike is like, "Welcome to my life the last eight years!"

- Yo, Ronnie, congratulations on the new house, my dude.

- Yes, congrats. It looks beautiful.

- You got to get out of the madness, go to LA.

[laughter]

- Want to really slow things down, just move to LA.

That's all. - Single Ronnie.

- What are you right now if you don't mind me asking?

- Who, me? - Are you dating?

- Yeah. - What are you?

- I've been single for... - Ron?

- Like, nine months.

- He's like, "I'm not married. My wife is."

[laughter]

- What a weird world we live it.

- It's been too long, guys.

- Who is that? Pauly has someone in the house!

- Who is that? - What?

- Do you have a servant over there?

- Who was that? - Who was that?

- Someone just took Pauly's plate!

- Wait, did you say, "Babe, get me a water?"

- Do you have a robot? - Through this pandemic,

I'm full of surprises. I grew myself.

I grew a beard, and I got a girlfriend.

- Hi! - Oh! What the hell?

- The moral of the story is,

you shouldn't have let the girls be your bridesmaids.

- I shouldn't have.

- Angelineers and Deener and Jenni, they don't mix.

- I'm just honest. Like, I'll go to jail.

- And it's probably not a good idea.

- What the [bleep]?

- I'm going to bring Angelineers into the fold.

- What the-- - Oh, my God!

- Is that Angelina? - I'm done. I'm out of here.

♪ ♪

- I love Zoom dinner this time of year!

- It's been too long, guys.

- Who is that? - Oh, what the hell?

- Hi. - What the hell?

- Damn! - Aw...

- I know her. She was on my dating show.

- Yo, that is a really big deal right here.

This is the-- - I can't believe it.

- It is! - I'm like--

- It's a new era.

- So this makes it official?

- Officially official, official.

- I never thought I'd see the day.

- Wow. is officially the craziest year ever.

Pauly has an actual boo.

- Wow, congratulations. - Aw, yay!

- I would like you to meet them all in person.

- You've met me. I was the one you didn't like.

[laughter]

- Nikki and I, we left "Double Shot" with a connection,

and we rebuilt that connection on "Double Shot ."

- He said he loved you so much.

- There's obviously some sort of something here.

I wasn't expecting this.

- I want to be with you,

and I want to make this work. - Me, too.

It's pretty crazy of how my relationship has grown.

I'm saying. You're doing the cooking.

I'll do the eating. - Mm. You help me eat it.

You didn't help me make it.

- Oh, there's percent of the relationship, /.

- Have you guys been quarantining

the whole time together?

- Yeah. - Yeah.

- Every day? [chatter]

- We haven't k*lled each other yet.

I've never spent so much time with one person in my life.

- Wow. I'm so happy for you guys.

It's really just perfect timing.

Quarantine happened, and, oof, now he's got a girlfriend.

- When we're allowed, we should do a proper dinner.

- Just don't let the girls give a speech at your wedding.

- Oh, damn!

- Ooh! - Wow.

- Deena, you going to take that?

- Too far. Too far.

- As long as you don't run Pauly over with a car,

you're good. - Oh!

- Oh, Deena! Deena! Okay.

- Love you, guys. Miss you. - Love you, guys.

- All right, love you guys. Peace!

- Whoo. It's official.

- I know--that went well. - You met the family.

- I know. - Yeah.

I think it went good though. - Yeah, it was.

- This whole quarantine thing

has been a blessing and a curse.

It pulled [indistinct] away from me,

but it brought me closer together

with my relationship with Nikki.

- I feel very honored-- - Mm-hmm.

- And a little spec...

- Hey.

- That everybody knows now,

so we can all be cool. - Yeah, I never

done this before. - Really?

- No. - Me either.

Hopefully one day, we can all be together

and just chill.

- I don't know. You're moving a little bit too fast.

- Shut up.

♪ ♪

- ♪ Go ahead grab your drink ♪

♪ Baby, it's a celebration ♪

♪ And we ride with the top down ♪

♪ Beat loud bring the cops out ♪

♪ Shut the beat down ♪ - Yo!

What are you doing? Are you [bleep] kidding me?

- Listen, I've been cooped-- I've been locked up--

- First of all, put that robe on before I throw up.

- I just want to soak my ba*ls, cool them off a little bit.

- No, no, no. I do not want your ba*ls in my pool.

Do you know what socially distancing is?

- I'll keep the mask on. - Put that mask on your [bleep]

and get the [bleep] out of here.

- Mommy, Mommy!

Mommy! [laughing]

- You going back to school?

Oh, my God. I'm so tired of COVID. God.

- I can't even believe this.

Honestly, I just hope this all goes away soon

so I can go out and party because I miss it so much.

- You need your diaper changed.

C, come on!

Quarantine life.

I already need wine.

♪ ♪

[peppy music]

- ♪ It's atypical ♪

♪ What you've been doing to me ♪

♪ Now I see you are some kind of.. ♪

- It's been like five or six months since the wedding,

and the girls still won't just sit down

and talk to each other,

so RSVP want to talk to Angelina alone by herself

to see where her head is at-- - Yo, what up, bro?

- And see if we can

make any progress with her individually.

- Oh, there we go. I see all four of your faces.

- How about that wedding, guys?

- Wow!

- What do you guys think is going to last longer:

COVID or Angelina's marriage?

- Ooh. - Ooh.

- Wow, I don't know.

COVID's going pretty strong right now.

- [laughing] Yeah. - I know exactly

what she's going to say when she gets on.

- All she's talked about is nothing but the wedding.

It's just wedding, wedding, wedding, wedding, wedding.

- All these girls are like, "I'm not bothered by it!

But [bleep], [bleep], I'm going to [bleep] k*ll them!"

- They're like, "I'll sit down with Angelina,

but Angelina can't be in the same room."

- "I'll talk to her, but without words."

- "I'll sit down with Angelina, but Angelina can't talk."

- And Angelina is like, "I'll apologize, but--"

- "I'm not saying sorry."

- Oh, something is happening. - Oh, [bleep].

- Oh, what up? [chatter]

- What's up?

- Um, hello?

[chatter] - Hi, everyone.

- How's Chris? - He's good.

He's right here. Say what's up.

- What up? - So you married yet, Pauly,

or what? Who got married?

- Not me. - Congratulations.

- Listen, do yourself a favor and don't have the girls

give a speech at your wedding, though. Okay?

Please do yourself a favor. - Ooh.

- Shots fired!

- And then it all went south.

- They can say it's joking all they want, but deep down,

I feel in my heart that it was joking with

a little bit of truth to it. Who the [bleep]

are you, you three girls, to say I'm trash?

- You would think that quarantine

would calm Angelineers down.

It has made her even more fired up.

- I don't want to see your face!

- She is like a hamster in a cage right now without--

What is it? Wood chips, maybe?

- I'm not gonna be the person that just keeps saying sorry.

- Without the water bottle or without the squeaky toy

or...you know.

- No one should pass judgement on me here.

- Just a rat without its cheese!

I don't know.

- I don't know what that future is going to look like.

It seems like we have a lot to figure out,

but you have to be willing to say,

"Let's move forward." I mean, that's the goal, right?

- Where do we go from here, is what he's saying.

- We just have to do the next right thing.

- When they are going to do the right thing, Mike?

- That's true. - When are they going to--

Mike, I need to know.

When are they going to come to me and say,

"I [bleep] up. I'm sorry"?

- Everyone has to come to the table,

put their emotions down,

let everyone know how they feel,

and it's time to be happy and move forward.

I don't know technically where things are at,

if the word reasoning is in the girls' dictionary.

I really don't. It's really gotten worse,

and I'm questioning everyone's logic now.

Do you have a goal in mind?

- I want people to understand that my feelings are valid,

and you can't tell me how to feel.

- We're going to try to think about this

and see what we can do. - Keep your head up.

- Bye. Take care. Your feelings aren't real.

[laughs]

[laughter]

Wow.

♪ ♪

- ♪ I make the crowd go crazy and screaming loud ♪

- Hey, yo, yo. What up, my dude?

- What's up, man? - Come on in, man.

Oh, hold up. Hold up. Hold up.

- [bleep]. Whoa. What am I, an insect?

- Is that regulation COVID- proof?

Here you go, man. Let me take your temperature.

Hold up. This thing is--

Bend over. - We're not doing

rectal temperatures.

That's where I draw the line! - You're good to go.

Let's just take this party outside,

social-distance style.

Yo, make sure you keep your feet.

This is social-distancing basketball.

I'm going to get you your own basketball too, man.

- Please.

- Yo, so you in town, in town?

- I'm just here to pick up the baby.

- Oh, that's what's up.

- And then I'm going to go back to LA, yeah.

- So you got this whole coparenting thing down or what?

- Yeah, bro. You know, it's not easy.

It's not difficult. You know what I mean?

- Yeah. - It's, you know,

you get used to it, but it's been better for me.

It's been better for her. Right now, I'm coparenting,

and I'm going back and forth from Vegas to LA.

I'm getting it down, bro. I'm getting it down.

- That's good, man. - I will do whatever

I got to do for that kid.

I will walk to Vegas if I have to

to be with my daughter.

You know, I'm just trying to...

to stay patient, focused.

- [laughs] - I'm just going to

keep this on, all right? - You can keep that one on man.

- All right. Cool. All right. Yeah.

- ♪ Everybody ♪

[funky music]

- Honey, do we have cups for this barbecue?

- They're so cute! They have little bees on them.

- Okay. Let's go. Let me get...

- How many do we need though?

- I need Deena, I need Vinny, Jenni, me, you,

and Angelineers.

- No. - No?

- No. - All right.

Well, fine. - That's not--

- All right. Fine, fine, fine.

- I'm not doing that to Jenni and Deena right now.

- Okay, fine. - This our first time

seeing them. - Okay. All right. Fine.

The restrictions on COVID

have started to sort of open up,

and the squad hasn't been together in forever,

and I want to sort of break the ice a bit

with this Angelina situation.

I actually went to the pet store,

and I picked something up, honeys.

I'll be right back.

- What, is it for Mosey? - Maybe. Maybe.

- So we're two...

What the-- Mike! Mike!

- I just happened to go into the pet store, and I got this.

- I don't want an animal in our house.

What is that, though? Is it alive?

- No, honeys. - I looks real.

- It's a dirty little hamster. - It is a dirty little hamster,

so that's how you can have Angelina at the barbecue?

- I mean, I think it's kind of funny.

- I think you need to tap me in on this one.

- Oh, damn. All right. - And I think that I have

some things upstairs that-- - Oh, really?

- can be better than this fake-hamster situation.

- Enlighten me, Mrs. Situation. - So I have...

a black wig-- - Really?

- That I can put on. - Oh, my God!

- And do a little bit of dress up.

- Oh, my God, and you're going to come in and surprise them?

- And I'll have my back turned,

so they just see, like, black hair down to here.

- Oh, my God. You have to, like, have your back

to the door like this, and as soon as the door opens,

and you can be like, "Um, hello!"

And I think that would be hilarious.

I'm going to bring Angelineers into the fold!

Not just any Angelineers:

I'm going to bring the faux-Angelineers.

And you're going to come in and surprise them.

Angelineers and Deener and Jenni, they don't mix,

and it's probably not a good idea,

but at the end of the day, it's sweet revenge for BDS.

- You think I'm a dirty little hamster?

- Oh, [bleep]. With Angelineers,

the prank that keeps on giving.

- I have to see what I have,

if I can even pull this off right now.

- In the meantime, I'm going to check my social medias

and go on her page. - Okay.

- I'm going to try to get some inspirations.

- No, no, no, no. - Yeah, honey, I don't know

if you've got anything in that closet that's Angelineers.

She's got a lot of risqué photos.

Honey, you got anything like this?

Ha ha ha. - No, big no.

- There's got to be a storage somewhere, honey.

- Probably put this bad boy on. - Wow, yes.

This is [bleep] twisted.

Let's just say, I like to play dress up, okay?

- Um, hello! - Yes.

That's it. That's a keeper.

[upbeat pop music]

And my a*s is going to be nice and plump

for all of the roommates to see.

Even if the girls don't want

to talk to me anymore and they're mad--

You're done with one side already?

- [indistinct] - Wow. Look at that.

- ♪ Let 'em feel you where we're going strong ♪

- ♪ Uh, hey, h* ♪

♪ Underrated and I'm already legendary ♪

♪ Pops a fly, I guess that hereditary ♪

- Oh, damn. - What's good, kid?

- What do we do? Do we do the elbow?

- Air fist. No, no, no. - Air fist?

- No, just fist it up. - Okay, just fisted you.

- I like getting fisted.

- ♪ I woke up in beast mode ♪

- My truck is too big for this resort.

- Hey! - Hi, love.

- Yeah. I think we can.

- Okay. - Right?

- Right? - Hey, Lauren.

- Hey. - How are you? Wait.

- Oh, you got the thermometer? - Wait. Yeah.

- All right. Hold on. - Oh, my God.

- Hey! - Hey!

♪ ♪

- I mean, I just tested negative.

- So did I. I'm okay. We all tested negative,

but I just want to make sure you guys are comfortable.

- Positive for chlamydia, negative for COVID.

- God, you're so gross.

- I'm inventing a new disease. It's called CLOVIDia.

- Are you still having girls over?

- I had one girl over in the beginning that I was,

like, booed up with, but that's done, so--

- Your COVID b*tch? - I know.

The boys don't tell us anything.

But we had no idea

that Pauly was quarantining with Nikki the whole time.

- Neither did I. - That's awesome, though.

- Yeah. - Yeah. I'm happy for him.

He seems happy. I always thought Pauly

was going to be the single one for, like, ever.

- Can you believe that? That show worked.

- Yeah. It actually worked.

- ♪ It makes me feel good ♪

- How you been, though? You holding up?

- I'm good, man. The clubs are shut down

right now, so I'm out of work.

- Are you collecting unemployment or no?

- It's a weird time right now, man.

- Hey, babe. - Hi, babe.

- Ron, you want something to drink?

- Wow. Taken Pauly! Wow, this is good!

- Single Ronnie! - Yo!

- Oh, got him. - Okay, coming out hot.

Everything this year is weird.

COVID just came out of nowhere, and Pauly has a beard.

He's got a girlfriend.

, man, I'm single, and Pauly is taken.

What else can happen?

So how long this has been going on?

One night you just shot her a text?

"Hey, boo. I miss you," or something like that?

Just like, boom? Like, I don't--

- We sort of made up on "Double Shot " in Vegas.

- Yeah. - And then we were like,

"Yo, let's give this a real shot,"

and that's what we've been doing.

- Yeah. - And then I can't

get her any flights back because of COVID so--

- Oh, my gosh. - Oh, is that what it is?

- She's stuck here.

- Well, this is a great social distancing,

very surprising at the same time.

, man.

- Bro, you just keep your feet!

- Anything can happen, .

- Maybe you need to take a shot at love, your own dating show.

- Oh, double shot.

- Okay. - Oh! Maybe not.

- Maybe not. [laughter]

- All right, guys. Let's feast.

Salad. Look at those meat-ballers.

Crab-leggers are on this side in case anybody wants any.

Oh, yes. - This is way more

than I would've done for all of you.

- Yeah. This is a wild afternoon barbecue.

- I am not mad. - We do it real big.

We do it real big. When your plate

is looking like that, that's where it's at.

- Hashtag stay home.

- Dig in, guys.

Vinny, have you seen your neighbor on the streets?

- Jesus Christ. - My neighbor?

- Yeah. - The one with two faces.

- I don't really recognize her anymore.

- Like, can't we just move on? I'm enjoying my life.

Like, why do we have to still talk about Angelina?

I just--I can't get past how manipulative she is.

- We didn't tell you how bad it was.

- Yeah. - Yeah.

The train has left the station.

This prank is happening.

Choo-choo.

- Deena would call me at midnight, , in the morning

during, like, the middle of a panic hysteria.

- Yeah. Like, I was so upset. - Hysterically crying herself--

I would wait till... - Because I thought

I'd ruin this girl's wedding. - She'd fall asleep, yeah.

- Like, people are attacking me, attacking my son, like--

It was like a rough like couple months.

- Yeah. - Yeah.

- And I just--

I can't come back from that,

and I don't want to put myself in that situation again.

- The emotion is Deena's voice, I'm like, "Oh, my God.

Maybe this prank is not going to go well."

I'm actually very nervous now.

It could go wrong really quickly.

- How do we move forward?

We all love getting a house together.

- If she is around, like,

I have to take myself out of that equation.

- Yeah. - Just--I can't.

- I am stuck between a rock and a hard place.

- I'm too hot-tempered to deal with someone like that.

- I'm afraid that Jenni may bum-rush my wife.

- I'm just honest. Like, I'll go to jail.

- I'm thinking to myself, like, "Abort mission."

- That will make me [bleep] lose it.

- Who is that? - What the--

- Wait. - No. You didn't.

- That looks like a ghost. - I just got scared.

- What is that? - Who is that?

- Hello?

- Oh, my God. If that's-- - Oh, my God.

- Do you have a stalker? - Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

- No, you didn't. That's not who I think it is.

- This is giving me-- Come on.

- Oh, my God. Oh, my God! No!

- I'm done. I'm out of here. - Is that Angelina?

- Wow. That's [bleep] up. - Oh, my God.

- Is that b*tch coming? - Who is that?

- What the-- - No, you didn't.

- Oh, my God. - What is that?

- I'm going to freak out. - Oh, my God.

- Do you have a stalker? - Oh, my God.

- Oh, my God!

Oh, my God! No!

- Is that Angelina? - I'm done. I'm out of here.

- Wow.

- I know that a*s. That's Lauren!

- Ah! - Lauren!

- You think I'm a dirty little hamster?

[chatter, laughter] Oh, my God!

- She's like, "I know that a*s!"

- Okay. That was funny, you guys.

You got me. Good job.

- You guys didn't invite me to this [bleep] barbecue.

- Oh, my God. - She's like--

- She would. - She's too polite.

- ♪ Yo, we not gonna force this ♪

♪ We could go, we could go somewhere real neat ♪

- What are we going to eat? - Some jerk chicken.

- Can we have anything but jerk chicken for once

because Jamaican me crazy with all this jerk chicken.

- Are you serious?

Don't act like you don't love this Jamaican.

- Jerk chicken for breakfast. Jerk chicken for lunch.

I can't. I feel like you should learn

how to cook Sunday gravy, Sunday sauce, like Italian.

- I'm sorry I'm Jamaican.

- Babe, you're not the only one from the islands.

I'm from an island, too, Rhode Island.

- Babe, you're funny. - Looking.

[rock music]

♪ ♪

- Chris, can I have another water, please?

You should've put more waters in here.

I'm [bleep] right now because we've got company coming.

Here, take these. - All right.

- Today, Mike, Vinny and Lauren are coming over my house.

I also invited B-Lashes and Derynn, who I met

when Pauly flew me out to meet all of the girls

at "Double Shot." What's up, ladies?

We kept in contact from that point forward,

and we just get along.

♪ ♪

- Going to Angelina's house right now,

I never thought I'd actually be saying those words,

but at this point, there's real work to be done,

and we have to go see what Angelina is thinking

and where her head is at.

- I think that today will be interesting.

Save some remediation talk for me--

- Mm-hmm. - Because I need to get some

things off my chest with her. - Oh, honey.

It's been nine months since the wedding,

and I'm hoping Angelineers is like,

"Forgive and forget. Move forward."

- I have to run to the store. - Okay.

- And then I will be back. - All right, I'll see you

in a little bit--love you. - I love you.

- What's up, bro? - What's up, brother?

- I got a Google alert-- - Uh-huh.

- That here and Chris were, like, on the outs.

- For real? - Yeah.

So I don't even know if he's going to be here.

- This quickly? - Last night,

I get a Google alert that it looks like Angelina

and Chris might be broken up. This is the article.

- Oh, damn. - Did they break up?

This article was written for a reason.

I think Chris posted a picture of him and his cat.

- ♪ Baby, it's fine ♪

- And he said, "This is all I need in my life,"

and it wasn't Angelina.

- Did they really break up this early?

That actually leaves room for you now, brother.

- Please don't drop it. - Shut up.

- Hey! What's up, guys?

- It's the first time you're at my house.

- I know. - What's up? What's up?

- Perfect day, perfect day for friends to come here.

- I got a Google alert that said that you guys were,

like, broken up or something. - Oh, my God.

People will make stories out of--

- Did you see that? - Yeah. We saw it.

- Oh, it's all over the news. How could you not see it?

You were an idiot, and you posted,

"I love Angelina the cat." People thought--

- It said, "All I need in life."

- Yeah, all I need in life. - But he meant Angelina

the cat, and Angelina, me, Angelina.

- Yeah, and I didn't mean it any way that,

but people always interpret it. - "He meant Angelina, me.

I wasn't in the picture, but, you know,

that's what he meant."

So everything is good? That wasn't a--

- No. - Okay.

- Listen, we fight, but, like, we fight a lot, you know?

- We have fights, yeah.

- We fight more than a regular couple,

but we admit it, you know? We don't care.

It is what it is. Like, that's just--

- Our fights are weird. We'll be at w*r.

By the end of the night, we're good.

- Okay. That's good. - Yeah, so, Vinny,

this is the first you're seeing Chris since--

- Yeah. What's up, bro?Come on.

You can't come at a brother like that.

- Chris DMed Vinny because Vinny went on social media

the day when the wedding episode was going to air

and decided to basically just, like, disregard me

and Chris' feeling about the wedding speech.

- I want to apologize to Angelina--

- Oh, wow. Ooh!

- For saying that-- - What?

- It wasn't a big deal-- - Hashtag growth.

- Because in the room, it was a very big deal.

That's your wedding,

so I'm sorry if that's the way it came off.

- I appreciate the apology. - No. I do too. I just want--

I wish the girls would understand, like,

just like you said, like, "I understand."

Like, I wish they said the same thing as what

you're saying right now.

- Well, that's another story. - "I understand your feelings."

- Oh, yes. - "And we didn't mean it

like that." - This is like trying to

solve peace in the Middle East, okay?

I mean, these girls hate each other.

- We have to sit down somehow. - The sit-down is a must.

- The sit-down-- Am I right?

- Exactly. That's what it-- - I don't know how

we're going to do it. - I don't know, either.

- I don't know how we're going to do it.

- I don't even know what that's going to look like.

- We're going to have security all around.

- Yeah. I don't know how we're going to do it.

- We need like a doctor to come up in this b*tch.

I think a doctor.

I think we need a freaking psychologist.

- You know, this kind of reminds me of the story--

- Oh, God. - I don't know if you guys

ever heard about it,

but the fable about the scorpion and the frog.

I have a secret weapon in my arsenal, okay,

and I didn't want to necessarily bring it out,

but I had to in this particular situation,

and it's the fable about the scorpion and the frog.

The scorpion and the frog are at an impasse.

They're in front of a river, okay?

And the scorpion says to the frog,

"Can you give me a lift?"

And the frog says, $."

and the scorpion says, "No, ,"

and then the scorpion says, "If you do it for ,

then fine," and the frog says, "Fine."

Eventually, the frog jumps on the scorpion's back.

- Wait. The scorpion--What?

- They go into the river,

and they're floating across the river.

Eventually, the frog says, "Oh, my God.

Something just stung me!" And they both die.

- Oh, my God. - So that will teach you

about life. That tells you

all you need to know. Isn't that [bleep] insane?

It's really--People's minds

are going to be blown when they hear that [bleep].

- Wait. - I don't get it.

- I don't get it, either. - So technically--

So technically-- - [bleep] [bleep]

[chatter] - I think you missed it.

- I did not miss a step.

- Yeah, yeah, yeah. - I did not miss a step.

- So is she the scorpion or the frog?

- I did not miss a step, okay?

- So you're saying, like, watch your back?

Like, what? I don't-- - So who's the scorpion?

- How much did he pay for the ride?

- What? - How much did he pay?

- bucks. - $.

- $ for the ride. - $.

- $ for the ride, yes. Did anybody

ever hear the scorpion and the frog tale before?

- No, but now we do. - There we go.

- Really? - Can you tell it

the right way? - That is the right way.

- I don't think that the scorpion

and the frog apply here.

- Moral of the story is, you shouldn't have let

the girls be your bridesmaids.

- I shouldn't have. That's you. You're--

- I would destroy my wedding for someone over--

- We're two different people. - Such a petty thing.

- It wasn't petty.

- It seems my wife came with some fire in the chamber.

- She's still mad at me! Stop it now!

♪ ♪

- ♪ 'Cause it makes me feel...♪

- I'm just excited to get out a little bit.

- Same. - Like, I just want to get out

for a little, see my friends and eat a meal I'm not cooking.

It is so hard to be separated from my roomies

during quarantine. Can I please get

a original chicken sandwich with French fries?

So it is so nice to have this one-on-one time with Jenni.

- Drinks. - Oh, I kind of wish

I'd got one of those now.

- Okay, and here is your meal.Enjoy.

- We can eat in the car? - Right here is fine.

- We're so fancy, look at us.

Eating freaking fast food in a car like we're in high school.

- Have you heard from the boys? - I actually have,

so it seems like they are going to Angelina's house.

- They are? - At this point,

they are just trying to so hard.

- They're so annoying! - So annoying.

- Do they feel like they're therapists or mediators?

- Yeah. I think that Mike thinks

he went to school for this.

- It's just too much. I don't understand

why they want that resolution. - Yeah.

- ♪ Na-na, na-na, ey ♪

♪ Na-na, na-na, ey ♪

- The moral of the story is, you know, don't be the frog.

- Or the scorpion because they both die.

- They both die! I don't want to be either of them.

- Bro-- - So you should've wrote

the speech for the girls, in other words.

- Hundred percent. - If they felt that type of way

that they didn't feel like they were close enough to me,

then they shouldn't have accepted the proposal.

- Exactly. So did you ever hear the story about--

- Oh, no!

- Here we go. - God.

- The squirrel and the [bleep] fox.

- Oh, my God.

- What the hell? - Aw, [bleep]. What up?

- What are my exes doing here? - Oh, damn.

- Is this squad, kid? - Is that B-Lashes?

- Is this your squad? - Oh, wow.

They really are friends.

I thought that was just [indistinct].

Like, Angelina stopped being friends

with Jenni and Deena and then,

like, ordered new Jenni and Deenas from Amazon Prime,

and B-Lashes and Derynn showed up.

- I'll do, like, an elbow. What's up? What's up, guys?

- How are you? - How are you?

- Having my girls here right now really means a lot to me.

- Can we use your ladies room? - Yeah, come.

And more than than ever, like, I definitely need

girlfriends because, obviously,

look what's happening between me, Deena

and Jenni and Nicole.

- I brought you a little gift, too.

- You guys didn't have to give me gifts.

Thank you. We love cats. That's, like, our thing.

- I know. - Oh, my God! That's so cool!

Thank you.

- I think that if we get B-Lashes and Derynn

over here, all is solved.

- Yeah. They'll sit down. - Thank you.

- I don't know if Derynn likes me.

- Really?

- Well-- - I didn't seem like.

She didn't even want to say hello to you just now.

- I know. I know.

- You didn't hook up with her though, right?

- I kissed her once. - Oh, really?

- Yeah, yeah. She was a--

We called them swing states-- - She's like, "Look at me."

- When you have a girl that goes for both.

She was a Re-Paul-blican...

[laughter]

And then I just thought of that.

- A Vinny-crat. - Yeah, yeah.

She was a Re-Paul-blican,

and then she switched to Vinny-crat,

but she was a swing state at the end.

Of course, Angelina is just going to be befriend

the girls connected to me.

This is just some kind of indirect way of Angelina

being obsessed with me. She probably feels like

a little part of me in these girls.

- Cheers. - Cheers.

- Cheers. - So, Vinny,

how is it seeing them, your loves?

- I see them all the time

on your guys' social media. - Did your heart palpitate?

- You don't follow me, though. - Together.

[chatter] - He don't follow me either!

You don't follow me either!

- Wow. - That's even worse!

- You know what, Vinny? It's even worse for me.

Because you follow my husband,

but you won't follow me.

- Exactly. - Oh, whatever.

- So, Angelineers, is this the new squad?

- New squad alert!

- I hang out with them a lot, all the time.

- New squad alert! [chatter]

- Right? We hang out a lot. - Yeah.

- Why are we all wearing the same hairdo?

Nobody else thinks this is a problem? Someone take it out.

- You ever see that movie, that football movie

"The Replacements"?

[laughter]

- Oh, my God.

- Oh, my God. Oh, my God! My honeys is here.

- Hi, Lauren. - Hi, Lauren.

- Hi. Hi. - We're air hugging.

- How are you? - I'm good. How are you?

- This is B-Lashes and Derynn. - What?

- Thank you. I know. I met them.

Anyway, so how are the newlyweds doing?

- Good. - We're good.

- You guys are good? - They broke up.

- Yeah. We broke up. You didn't see the article?

- Oh, yeah, the article all over the world

that now me and him broke up.

- Well, we've talked about articles in the past before.

- Oh, we have. - They're not always accurate.

- Oh, they're not always accurate. Let me tell you.

- It's not nice when you share un-accurate articles.

- Lauren! - Oh!

[chatter] - Stop it now!

- Lauren and Angelina are physically fighting!

- She can't get over it. She's still mad at me!

- No, I'm not. - She's still mad at me--

- No, I'm not. - Years later.

I am definitely not shocked

that Lauren is coming at me right now.

- I have to say, I was like,

"Well, she knows how it feels a little bit now."

- Karma! - This is Lauren's MO with me.

Even in Vegas, she said something to me, like,

out of nowhere about the swipe-ups.

You were mad at me

because my page is posting Mike's swipe-ups.

- Because you're selling stories.

Take accountability and review your [bleep].

- You're still not over it,Lauren?

- No, I'm good.

I'm good. - Lauren is a gangster.

- It's not about that.

- Lauren just came locked and loaded.

- It seems my wife came with some fire in the chamber.

- Because now it's about you,

and you don't like it when it's about you, I think.

- She can't get over this. She's still mad at me!

She's still mad at me.

- I'd rather be in my car eating fast food

than be where the boys are right now with Angelina,

trying to talk sense into her.

I can't imagine how the conversation is going.

- "You know, Angelina, I think we should just mediate this,

and we're all family, and we all should come

together, and, like, just let's move on,

and let's be better, not bitter from experience."

- Yeah, but, Mike,

you got to understand where I'm coming from.

- It's all about positivity and learning from the past.

- Listen, I'll sit down with them,

but I'm not kissing their feet. I'm not bending over backwards.

- It's not nice when you share un-accurate articles.

- Lauren!

- Ooh! Lauren is coming at Angelina!

- Stop it now! - Lauren!

- Honestly, though, your wedding,

the ceremony was beautiful.

- Thanks. - Thank you.

- It was very similar to the "Titanic."

- Yeah. I liked the speeches. - Oh, the "Titanic?"

I would say so, the sinking ship.

- I liked the live entertainment.

- Oh, God.

- The sinking--Oh, the live entertainment was hot.

- The stand-up comedians? - Yeah, that was good.

I didn't know, like--I've never seen that at a thing.

- Oh, I thought you meant the girls.

That one went over my head. - But where are you with them?

Like, did you guys figure it out?

- It's like, you know, I just want them to say

they're sorry to me and my husband

because it wasn't just about me.

It was about him and his family. His family was there.

If I did anything to anybody's wedding,

like, their wedding day, I would be like, "Oh, my God."

Like, you know, "She didn't take it good.

I'm sorry about that," and, like, really mean it.

- We didn't cover this for the last hours?

- But I'm just saying-- - I know.

I'm not going through this again.

- But guess why we're talking about it.

But guess why we're talking about it: Because you let it

take over your entire wedding, the rest of the night.

- I mean, listen, it pissed me off.

It would've pissed you off too.

- It , percent would've pissed me off,

but if you had taken the high road and said,

"You know what? That was a low blow.

I didn't think those jokes were funny,

but I'm going to talk to them in private

because I don't want to make this any bigger than it is."

- But you're not--You were never in that position.

- I was in that position.

- But if you were in that position,

your feelings might have not been like that,

like what you're telling me.

- I was put in that position before.

- I know you're going tosay me.

- Yeah. - I love.

- Okay. - Stunning!

- Oh, my God. - Ooh!

- It's so crazy, like, you planning a wedding

around the whole Mike thing too, right?

- This is sad to make her talk about it in her wedding dress.

- In her wedding dress, dude?

- Well, I chose to not have a reaction

because I think as an adult, like, if you put

an attention on something, it's just going to get bigger.

- Called, take the high road. - You're making everything be,

for a lack of a better word, dramatic.

It's not that dramatic. - See, I disagree with that.

I disagree with that.

- I'm just giving you an example because--

- That's you! You're-- - I would never

destroy my wedding over-- - Lauren. I'm Angelina.

- Someone, over such a petty thing.

- We're two different people! It wasn't petty!

It was huge to me. It was huge to him.

His mother was in tears.

So Lauren is coming at me right now.

It doesn't even have anything to do with the other.

It's not the same thing. It's apples and oranges.

You can't compare them both.

- All right, guys. I think we all got off track.

- Nikki had to be here. We weren't there.

- The goal is-- - That's what happens, like,

whenever there's outsiders that come into our family,

they experience some real drama right away,

and they don't know what to do, so they just, like,

eat popcorn in the background and watch the show.

- The goal is to move forward,

be happy. - B-Lashes.

- Put this behind us, right? Am I right, guys?

- Yeah. - You're right.

- Absolutely. - Everyone?

Angelina? - Yeah.

- Okay. - Just because I go back

at them on social media because they're coming at me

doesn't mean I'm not willing to sit down with them.

- Okay. - I've been willing

to sit down with them. - But if you want to solve it,

though, you have to then, like, cease fire on social media.

- I'm sorry, Lauren. I have to say my truth.

- No. You can have the-- - I'm sorry, but they don't--

These girls don't want me to have a voice, Mike.

They don't. - I just want to say that

no solution was ever solved

by someone saying, "Yeah, but--"

Okay? We have to get to the point

where you're saying, "I'm willing to move forward.

I'm willing to have an open mind,"

and that's it, and cut it because

I have to do the same thing with the other side.

And they're probably going to be coming at me--

- Good luck. - The same way that you are.

- It's going to be hardfor you.

- We need to sit down.

There's no speculation.

We don't know what the girls are going to say.

- We don't know. - I don't know. I don't know.

They're pretty fired up. They're pretty fired up too.

- Go to them individually. - They're pretty fired up.

- What do you think they're going to say?

- The future of this family is currently

going sideways real quick, but that does not mean

that we're going to give up here, guys.

- Listen, at the end of the day, Mike,

all I can do is come to the table,

and that's all I can do and sit at that table.

- Yeah. And if you want to find out

who the scorpion and the frog is, stay tuned.

We have a lot of work left to do.

- That we do. - Yeah. We do got a lotta work.

- Straight up. - But good news is,

we didn't come this far just to come this far.

- That's true. We can see past this.

- ♪ Rise up, rise up ♪

♪ Till they all fall down ♪

♪ Yeah, till they all fall down ♪

♪ Either rise or you fall ♪

♪ Either rise or you fall ♪

♪ Either rise or you fall ♪

♪ Either rise or you fall ♪

♪ Either rise or you fall ♪

- ♪ Till they all fall down ♪

- She told me to [bleep] myself.

- I'm not saying I'm sorry.

- I can't believe we're still dealing with this.

Everybody come out here, man.

- How are we gonna

do it with the girls, double book 'em?

- The girls left us no choice.

This is called the double book.

- I can't go on a vacation with that b*tch.

- What could go wrong? So wait and see.

- "Jersey Shore Fanny Vacation: COVID edition"!

I rented the whole hotel!