04x15 - Ummmm...Hello, 2021

[bunniefuu]

- ♪ MTV ♪

- I just don't want someone like that back in my life.

- Don't [bleep] come at me

- That's [bleep] annoying. - I don't know, boys.

How are we gonna salvage this? Double book 'em?

- A group of Guidos were on the verge...

- How do you feel? - Like grandma.

- Of extinction. - [screaming]

- I just don't wanna deal with this [bleep] no more.

- Oh my God, you heard all that, audio and everything?

- Yeah. - You're wearing a mic.

[laughter]

- But as a wise man once said,

the comeback is always greater than the setback.

[cheering]

- I love a wedding redo this time of year.

How are you guys doing tonight? [bleep] I forgot the punchline.

[laughter]

- Jenni, she just said we're not mean girls.

- You're not mean girls!

- What you call this right here is a job well done.

- With the family whole again...

- Oh, my God! - What?

- New babies on the way...

- I knew it!

- These Guidos lived happily ever after.

all: Family vacation!

- But as you know, nothing on the "Jersey Shore."

How about we just roll the tape?

- My sex life is dog [bleep].

- I'm havin' sex, just not with you.

- Oh damn! - Oh, damn, you move quick.

- Oh, my God. - Party's here!

[all yelling]

- You can't make this [bleep] up.

- I would like to welcome you to the Jersey Shore

Poconos talent show. [booing]

- You suck! [bell dings]

- Angelina! [all yelling]

- Oh! - Ah!

- I have an important question to ask you.

- Oh, my God!

- Oh mother Mary Joseph mother--

- Oh! - Babe!

- You all right, Chris? - This is serious.

- Somebody, we need a medic. - Oh, my God.

[sirens wailing]

- Hit the music.

- ♪ Get crazy, get wild, let's party ♪

- Yeah, buddy!

- ♪ If you want to have fun ♪ - The Situation

is under construction.

- This might not have been the best idea.

- We're so classy now.

- On the seventh day, it'll be lit.

- Get the frig out of here, you crazy.

- Um, hello?

- ♪ If you want to have fun and do something crazy ♪

- ♪ It's feeling good ♪

♪ California sun countin' hundreds one by one ♪

♪ Driving your daddy's Mercedes ♪

- , worst year in probably, like, all of our lives.

And we want to put it behind us.

Move on to bigger and better things in .

Luckily, there is a ton of stuff coming up for us.

I mean, we have pregnancies.

It's crazy to think that The Situation is gonna be a dad.

- Where's my pasta?

- Did you eat it?

That's what the baby wanted.

- That's what the baby wanted? - The leftover pasta.

- Honey, carbonaras is my favorite.

- Babe!

- Deena and Chris are super busy

preparing for another meatball.

- DJ, see your baby brother?

That's your brother, Cameron. You look so shocked.

- Pauly and Nikki are living together

and their relationship just keeps going strong.

- Give me some popcorn, man. - No.

That's what you tell everybody you tweeted from my phone.

- I didn't. - Yes, you did.

- What did I tweet?

- "Pauly D has a nice booty."

- Oh, thanks.

Come on!

- Jenni and Zack are still together.

And is years old now.

- [screams] - Ah!

- They grow up so fast. - Oh, my God!

- I am the only single one left in the group.

I'm the lone Wolf. What can I say?

I'll meet someone eventually, I think. Maybe.

But until then I have really important life-changing news

that I want to share with Ronnie.

- Yo. - Yo, what up, bro?

- I know if this is the right house they all look the same.

- I know, right? Just a bigger--

- Get a COVID test?

- Yesterday. You? - Me too.

- What are you even doing out here?

- I actually started looking at houses.

Wow, this is humongous.

- Thank you, bro. - Wow, look at this [bleep].

- For the last, like, bunch of years,

I've been trying to move to L.A.,

but I wasn't ready to fully commit to being bi-coastal.

I've been thinking a lot and looking at houses in L.A.

- I'll throw my shoe at you. - All right. Okay.

But I'm ready now and I want to try something different.

You, I love this, bro.

- Yeah. [laughs] - I [bleep] love this, bro.

I use it every day. Yo, this is sick, bro.

You use this-- so you got to Amazon?

- I used it, yeah. - Oh, me too, bro.

♪ ♪

- I've actually never been.

- You never been to her house? - No.

- It's actually really cute.

Me and Jenni are on our way to Angelina's house.

We haven't seen her since, like, Las Vegas so, you know,

we wanna keep the friendship going

and we need some girl time.

- It's a cute neighborhood. - It is a cute neighborhood.

- I never pictured Angelina in a neighborhood.

- No, not at all.

- Like, "Would you be my neighbor?"

- They're coming. I wanna make it look good

but I'm--it's the worst. I'm not Suzy [bleep] Homemaker.

But if I'm going to have company,

I want them to have, like, the best.

Ohh! I think it's cute.

So I'll take this opportunity right now to, you know,

spice up a little bit, show them what I got.

[sighs] I hate this.

Like the cheese is starting to--oh, it is.

Good. Perfect.

- Oh, right here.

- Hey, girls. - Hi. Oh my God.

You look. so good. Should we--I don't know.

Let's go corona. Yeah. - I'll wait.

- Oh, look at her--look at her little "charchuterree" plates.

- I'll never be able to stand right.

- I can't speak. Charchuterree pla--plate--plate?

Charcuterie plate.

- Char--shooterree-- cooteree--

Cheese, good.

Why can't you just say a fancy cheese plate?

- Charcuterie.

- Charcchurro plates. - I'll never get it right.

- I need to learn how to say it

because it's literally one of my favorites.

It's not so good. - A wooden board.

- It's fine. I tried.

- It's hard moving across the country but--

- But once you're here, bro, honestly, if you do...

- You've settled in. - It's such a better lifestyle.

- In L.A., it's the only city

where you can, like, have a house

and still be close to the action.

- Yes. - Any other city

you're in an apartment here.

- Yeah, here you're looking at a beautiful home

and you go down the hill and--

- And you're there, like, restaurants, shopping.

- I mean, your Uber bill gonna be lit.

- Imagine Uber and a girl here, dude.

- Move her in.

[laughter] [bleep]

You know what I mean, like, [bleep].

- This is a lot of space for a single guy.

- Yeah. - Single Ronnie.

- You know I'm not single anymore. You know that.

- Never single.

- Never single Ronnie, bro.

- Recently, Ronnie posted on social media a girl

with him on a yacht out of nowhere.

It's like nobody, Ronnie. New girlfriend.

You were mentioning a girl from Staten Island

and I was like, "I've never met a girl

in my life from Staten Island besides Angelina."

Look how that turned out. - I have a new girlfriend.

Her name's Saffire,

and we met right, like, before quarantine happened.

Lake Las Vegas wasn't the right time

to let everyone know that I was dating Saffire

because they're roommates.

It's like [bleep] throwing meat into a bunch of hyenas.

- Wait, so is she like moved in here or what?

- Yeah. - Really? Damn you move quick!

- Deena, so how's pregnant life.

- This little guy, he just--he's chillin'.

- Yeah. - And he's sleeping at night,

so far in there.

CJ's perfect in every way besides sleeping.

But that could be my fault too because we co-sleep.

- Co-sleeping.

- I still sleep with my damn kids.

- In the middle of you and .

What if you guys are banging like?

- Well, first off, if we're going to bang,

we're going to go immediately after they're asleep.

- Talk about sex, how's your sex life?

- Yeah. - My sex life is dog [bleep].

- Ooh. [laughter]

It's so [bleep] ridiculous.

- Did you guys do it in Vegas?

- [farts]

- God, you're so annoying!

- No. - Really?

- Oh, my God.

- It's weird 'cause it's like we'll fight

and then whoever starts the fight won't want to bang.

So then you got he don't wanna bang.

I don't wanna bang. No one wants to bang.

Chris and I went through spurts,

but our sex life is non-existent at this point.

And honestly, I don't know if we can like get the spark

back in our relationship, and that's not a good thing

- What are the fights about?

- It's all about who-- who is gonna be right.

- See that's not good. - That's not good.

- I know you and you could be hard-headed.

- I'm not perfect by all means.

I'm not the most perfect wife ever.

I literally yell at him. I'll belittle him sometimes.

Like I feel like we're both wrong.

We really are both wrong

but see he--see how I'm admitting it to you?

- That's good. You guys have to talk.

- He won't [bleep] ever admit that he's wrong.

I'm like, "Are you kidding me right now?"

- Who would've thought a year ago

we would've been sitting here-- - No. Never.

- I mean, think about it. You got married.

We had all this bull[bleep] between all of us.

- Yep. - What bull[bleep]?

- I'm letting everybody know right now here

I will never film with her again.

Then the--on top of the pandemic.

- Ugh, God. Yeah.

- Angelina and Chris should be in the little honeymoon phase

but this year wasn't good.

There was with the [bleep] with the wedding.

- Where's my lawyer? - Enjoy the night.

Don't ruin the night. You can't redo it.

Stop. Don't let her ruin the night.

- We had ten months of fighting over a speech.

- I know all the drama with the wedding

and I don't know if you would come.

- God, I don't even want to talk about

the wedding speech anymore.

- Her and Chris aren't doing so good right now so,

you know, the whole thing is really sad.

- Well, it sounds like your relationship

is going phenomenal.

- It's swell. So swell.

- Thank you for the invite and for the "caruchigate."

- Yeah. I mean, I tried.

[horn honks] - Get in, loser.

We're going house shopping. - Who honks the horn anymore?

- I think this is the one.

- The tree is gonna turn either pink or blue.

We are about to find out the gender of our baby.

[shouting]

- Angelina, where's your husband.

- Why do you ask? - You think they're getting

a divorce? - Oh, my God.

Angelina removed the Larangeira name from her bio.

- Yes, sir. We reporting live one time from my home.

DJ Pauly D quarantine mix. Let's go!

[upbeat music playing]

- Fricking spraying everything.

- What is that thing?

- Ahh! [laughs]

- I feel like I lost a little bit of my a*s.

You know what, I gotta do squat and get injections.

- This is a de-sanitizer.

Or a sanitizer.

- Let's go!

- They say it's safe. - [coughs]

- Chris, it's fine.

- Looks way better though. Gotta be honest.

- [laughs]

Is that how mommy smiles?

- Sometimes.

- Turn up. - You all right?

- I don't know. Am I? What's in that thing?

- Do you have COVID? - [coughs]

- Do you have COVID?

- ♪ Look at me, look at me this ain't no filter ♪

♪ All about royalties, feel like an imprint ♪

♪ Ladies be spoiling me wife will be jealous ♪

♪ I tell her it's nothing and quit being bitter ♪

♪ ♪

[horn honks]

- Yo, get in, loser.

We're going house shopping.

- What are you in Staten Island still?

- Who let these New Yorkers in L.A.?

- Who honks the horn anymore?

- I wanted to keep it old school.

You're going to bring your car or no?

- Well, that's my brother's car.

Don't hate, bro. You got a yellow Cobalt, bro.

[laughter]

- I have yellow Cobalt no more.

- Let's go.

Nice rental. - Thank you.

- ♪ Let me show you how we get ♪

- That one's for sale? - That one's for sale.

- I do like those. - Crazy money.

- Oh, my God. Forget about it, bro.

- I know what I look for in a house.

It's not necessarily the size that matters.

You know, I kinda just look for, like, the location

and the feng shui and the way it makes me feel.

And I actually found one that was, like, perfect for me.

- I love the style, the Tuscan style.

Nah, I like this bro.

- Vinny. - Yo, what up, Feroz.

- This is it. - This is it.

- I think this is the one so come on inside.

- You think it's the one? Really?

- I think this is the one. - Oh, [bleep].

Let's go look at it. I'm not in any kind of rush,

but if I do find the right one,

then I think I'm gonna do it.

- All right, so current owners took it down to the studs,

gutted everything, brought it back.

It's super high-end so living room, TV.

New everything.

You have your spa/pool. Everything works.

- It's a spool. - Spacuzzi.

- Spacuzzi. - Whatever you like.

- How many girls can we--can I--can I say we--I'ma say we.

He's taken now. He's taken.

- I don't know. You like your girls kinda thin, so--

- I like my girls thick.

- You guys get a--put together, like, some bread.

- Four thing girls, two thick ones.

- Yeah.

- Two guests down on this side. And here's the master.

- Oh my God, you see the ocean. Oh, [bleep].

It's Chippendales all over again.

Just the shower naked in front of everybody.

- Everybody. - [crying]

- Everybody, literally. Yeah.

Swinging this [bleep] around.

- Hell of a crowd. - Hey, L.A. Whoo!

Helicopter!

Just put a sponge on the end. [laughter]

- You mean a loofah.

[chill music]

♪ ♪

- Honey, what are you doing?

Let's go look at the baby's room.

- What's happening in the baby's room?

- Let's go.

I'm so enjoying this pregnancy

and, like, every moment,

but, like, now we're getting close where it's like,

"Okay, another human being is going to be here."

So we're getting the nursery ready.

I have to, like, figure out furniture,

but I have to figure out if it's a boy or girl first.

- Yes, aren't we supposed to be finding out

in the next couple of weeks?

- Yes, very soon.

- Well, before we go anywhere, we're in the baby's room.

I wanted to talk about baby reveal.

Well, how about this okay?

I'm the type of person I like to, like,

go out with a bang. - Yeah, you do.

- And I saw something online

where somebody ran through, like, a makeshift door

and have it explode a specific color.

- [chuckles]

I have beautiful, sentimental ideas

and not one of them includes running through a wall.

- I think it's so on-brand for me to run through a wall.

[grunting] [bleep] [bleep] [bleep]!

- Stop it! - I got you, bro.

- Stop. - [bleep].

'Cause I'll be honest with you, for a very long time

I wanted to have a rematch with the wall.

- Wow.

- Ten years ago, I took the L,

and I want a rematch with the wall

because the comeback is always greater than the setback,

and my comeback is not complete till I go through that wall.

I think this is my shot to once and for all defeat the wall.

- We'll have to figure it out. - That's fine.

- ♪ Y'all don't wanna squab ♪

♪ You don't really wanna mob ♪

- All right, guys. - Can we see the yard yet?

- Going to save the best for last.

Look at that view. - Wow.

- So you're staring down at West Hollywood, Beverly Hills,

all the way to the ocean.

- This is insane.

- Yo, I want to show the guys this--this house. Yo!

- Yo, what up, fellas?

- Yo, what up? - We in Hollywood.

- Oh, there he is. - Pauly D.

- Hey, what's up, what's up?

Oh, damn, you live in the East Coast?

- Well, I'm trying to be bi-coastal.

- Yo, that sounds, like, pretty legit, bi-coastal.

- Yeah, you know. I'm bi.

[laughter]

- All right, I'ma show you the view.

So this is the view.

- And it has a-- it has a spool.

- Yeah, it's a lap pool for Ronnie.

- You gotta find something else to yell out.

All right, boys. Miss you guys.

I'll see you soon. - I'll let you know.

I'll talk to you. Bye.

Bro, I'm going to hit home right now.

Are you ready for this?

Remember first day walking into the seaside house.

Yo, yo, yo. - What up, homeboy?

- What up? What's going on, man?

- What's up, what's your name? - Vinny, what's going on?

- Going up to the roof, looking at the ocean and being like,

"This is paradise. We did it. We made it. Seaside!"

[laughter]

[cheering]

- Now, ten years later I'm like, "We made it!"

- Now we really made it.

- So buying this house,

it's a big monumental moment for me.

I'm doing this. To be living in LA

chasing my dreams, but at the same time,

I don't know what I'm doing honestly.

I'm just go--I'm just going with the flow.

What am I doing?

Hollywood! [laughter]

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

- ♪ I'm so exhausted ♪

- Oh, no.

- The hell is this? - What the [bleep]?

[texting]

- Oh, [bleep].

- It's happening. There are rumblings in the streets

about Angelina. - Share the news.

- Check your phone.

- ♪ Been here, done that ♪

- What the--what is this?

- Chris just posted he wants to get his tattoo removed.

"Does anyone know a good tattoo removal place?

I think it's time to get rid of [bleep]."

- It's happening.

- Ew, wait, first off,

I've never actually looked at it. [bleep] gross.

- You're saying that you want to get rid

of the dirty little hamster.

- I would say that's--that's a pretty big step.

- Oh, subliminal jabs. Good times.

- Maybe something's going on.

- This is insane. You can't make this [bleep] up.

- ♪ Big payment in from Jersey ♪

♪ ♪

- Are you ready for tonight's virtual pizza party

with the squad?

- I'm always ready for pizza. - Yes.

- Do you have the list of what each person wants?

- I have the list.

Place an order for delivery, please.

- Sure you can.

- This is for JWOWW. She delivers a mean back fist.

And this is going to Deena and Chris.

- Dinner and Chris? - To Deener and Chris.

Eight wangers. - I'm not really sure

what you're saying-- eight what?

- Wangers, you know, chicken wings.

- Vincent-- - We only do small

or we do large.

- He's a very tiny man. Angelina's--

we want extra raunch dressing for her.

She likes it very raunchy.

- You got it. - We got everything.

The orders are in and now it's just time to just sit back,

relax, and wait for the party.

The first-ever pizza party over Zoom.

It's happening. Let's go, honeys.

- I need a snack before that. - Same.

♪ ♪

Are you ready? - I'm ready.

- I'm gonna text the squad right now.

- Whoo-hoo!

- Everyone loves pizza and it's a good excuse for us

to get together on Zoom, and at the same time,

we want to see what's going on with Angelina and Chris

because there's some troubling rumors

in the streets, so we gotta find out

what's really happening.

And the pizza party is going down.

Pizza is life.

I don't know if I'm going to grab--

- Excited for the pizza party.

- One slice at a time or go all three because we got--

- I already two.

- Oh, my God, you ate already?

- I've already had a pizza.

- He already had a whole pie.

- Hey! - Hi.

- Pauly D in the building.

- Hey, Vincenzo. - Hey, Vinny.

- Vinny, where are you? In L.A. or Staten Island?

- Staten Island and I'm--I'm eating a salad. I'm on a diet.

- Why are you on a diet? You don't have a job anymore.

- Ooh. [laughter]

- Technically, he got furloughed.

- CJ is in the frame. - Hey, CJ.

- Hey, CJ. Ronnie, you look younger.

Did you do anything to the place recently?

- Oh, I did. I got a facial last week.

- It was TMJ facial?

- Well, I'm not going to give birth out of my chin.

all: Whoa!

- What'd she have, a C-section on her face?

My God. I don't know if that's gonna heal in time.

- Shots fired. Shots fired.

- Shots fired.

- There is a little baby boy in the frame

so I'm going to keep my Ps and Qs.

- Jenni, don't talk about . He's right next to you.

[laughter]

Zack is eternally .

Maybe we'll stop making fun of him when he reaches puberty.

- Guys, I think we're just waiting on Angeliners

right now.

- Is she gonna be with Chris on the zoom tonight?

- I don't know. She might be.

- Angelina has been an X-Factor lately,

you know, ever since Chris posted

that he wants to get his tattoo removed.

- Maybe this is like the couple's therapy.

Like we're hearing rumors. What's the deal?

- Honestly, we have no idea what's going on.

- I mean, listen, even if Chris is there,

I don't think there's anything wrong with saying,

"Listen, guys, we're full disclosure

and we're hearing you guys got some issues. What's the deal."

- Yeah, Mike, you should definitely do that.

- Oh, when she gets here, I'll just be like,

"Listen, Pauly's got something to tell you."

- Yeah, and then I'll say,

listen, what I wanted to tell you

is that Vinny has something to tell you.

[laughter]

- She'll be like, "Why Vin? You want me?"

- Yeah.

- Are you still obsessed with me, Vinny?

- Why are you still obsessed with me?

- Okay, hold on.

Angelina is in the waiting room.

- It's happening.

- Aight--aight, I'ma head out. I'ma head out.

- All right, let her in. - Let her in.

Let's find out what's happening.

- Oh, hello. - Hey. What's up, guys?

- Hello! - Oh, damn.

Chris is here. Here we go again.

- Welcome to The Situation's pizza party.

- Sup, everyone? - So you're not divorced.

- Oh, my God!

- My man Vinny doesn't lube it up at all.

He goes right in, no foreplay. Boom.

- You're asking if we're divorced?

- No, no, I just-- I guess, yeah.

♪ ♪

- So you're not divorced.

- Oh, my God, Vin.

- You're asking if we're divorced?

- No, no, I just--I guess yeah. - Hold on.

Let me check my hand.

Oh, the ring's on today. Today was good.

- Oh! - When that ring comes off,

I'm going to slide right in. [laughter]

- It's almost like he wants me to get divorced.

You wish. Literally dreams about me

getting divorced so he could swoop right in.

- So Chris, are you getting that [bleep] tattoo removed?

- I gotta get it removed, man. - What is it?

- Ask it? - What is it?

- Why don't you show it to everybody?

- Nikki doesn't know.

- Pull your friggin' pants down and show it to them.

[all speaking at once]

- There's little kids here.

- Sorry. - Ariana and are children.

- Nobody can see it.

- We have underage children here.

- Got a hamster taking a period [bleep].

- What? [laughter]

- I do want to take it off.

- Here we are. Here we are, everyone.

- Chris wanted to get rid of the hamster tattoo

is % subliminal message that he wants to get rid

of the dirty little hamster metaphorically and literally.

- He's moved out like six times.

- Oh, my God. - I moved out.

I slept at my mother's house couple times.

- He's moved out.

- For your husband to be moving out of your house

six times, that's wild.

I'll be honest with you. - This kid doesn't even know

how to change a damn light bulb.

- I fixed the toilet. I fixed the shower.

I fix a lot of things.

- The next step is out the door.

- Yeah, you guys definitely need therapy.

- He doesn't even know how to cook an egg.

- I could cook anything.

- Oh, I'd love to be a flyer in your guys' wall.

- I know what I'm getting you guys for Christmas.

- Fly on my wall.

- Oh, my God, I have that already.

- Vinny, let me guess you're k*lling

that pizza over there, right?

- I'm eating a salad. Yeah, I don't want them

to watch me just eat the cheese so I have salad.

- I think I'm done watching that.

- You're not done with anything, baby.

- Oh, my God. [all speaking at once]

- If things don't work out between Angelina and Chris,

I think Vinny's gonna be waiting

outside of the divorce office,

with roses and chocolate.

- She orgasms every time we have sex.

That is the truth.

- Why are you telling them that?

- Let 'em know. - I can't picture

an Angelina orgasm.

"Oh my [bleep] God. It feels so [bleep] good."

- Ugh.

- Is that also a fight with and Chris?

- Having sex but it's not with you.

- Oh, damn!

- So confused right now 'cause I don't even know

if you guys are getting a divorce or you aren't.

It's so crazy.

- That doesn't seem like a joke.

Did this pizza Zoom turn into, like, relationship counseling?

I mean, honestly, I like to not know so much about them so--

- [shouting indistinctly]

- Ohh!

[crosstalk]

- Meet the bear. Meet the bear.

- God for bear.

How did Ronnie think that he was gonna get away with this?

Like, literally we spotted her in the background.

We're meeting you girl. Hey, girl.

- Oh my God, is that Saffa Bear?

- Saffa Bear.

[all speaking at once]

- Nice to meet you guys.

- Nice to meet you.

- She seems nice, Ronnie. - That's sweet.

- And she makes you blush.

- Every other girl from Staten Island is whack.

- You're salty, huh,

that you didn't meet a girl like that?

- You're salty huh?

[laughter]

- Saffire is from Staten Island

but she's not like Angelina Staten Island like,

"What do you want to [bleep] do?

I'll come over there and take a [bleep] on your [bleep] chest."

Not like that Staten Island.

- What's up with Nino and mama Paul?

- On Sunday, I'm going to have a feast.

I'll send you guys pictures of chicken cutlet.

- [bleep] the pictures. Send the cutlets.

FedEx that [bleep].

- Talking about, like, FedEx and stuff,

I had an idea about doing, like, a cookie exchange

and do, like, a Zoom before, like with the holidays,

do like a little Christmas thing.

- A cookie off.

- It'll be fun I love that. - It's just typical

Deena [bleep]. She just likes little, like,

activities and hobbies.

Like, if Pinterest was a person, it would be Deena.

- She makes really good romance cookies.

Oh my God, they're so good.

- I don't want to bake [bleep]. Like I wasn't born to bake.

Ugh. God.

- Chris, if you guys are still together, you should come.

- Yeah. - Oh.

[crosstalk] - [bleep].

- You're so weird.

- ♪ I got rainbows coming out the back of my car ♪

♪ ♪

- Righty tighty, lefty loosely.

Hey. - Yo.

- Look who it is. - What's up, brother?

- What up, man?

My used to be neighbor. - What's going on?

- You know I got little hobbies.

- It's a little bit of hobby.

- What's funny is this--this whole, like, pandemic

I'm able to play with my toys. I never had time.

- Finally. - How about yourself?

- Good, bro. - How's L.A.? Everything?

- Everything's good.

- Yeah, yeah, we saw the girl on--on--on the zoom

so I hope we're gonna meet her soon.

- Yes, my new girlfriend, Saffire.

- That's good. And you can tell you're happy

and you're proud of her, you know?

No more single Ronnie. [laughter]

So wild, right?

- I think Pauly is the most upset right now

just 'cause he can't scream single Ronnie anymore.

- Single Ronnie!

all: Single Ronnie.

- Single Ronnie. - Single Ronnie.

- Single Ronnie. - Oh!

- They've been screaming it for literally

ten [bleep] years.

I've never been single. [laughter]

I gotta get back to work. I'm doing--

I'm doing crazy stuff, man.

- Whoa.

Holy DJ Cisco. What is going on?

- It's Platinum D now. - Oh, my God.

- I'm hoping will be a nice good year for everybody.

I hope we can get together with the family and everything.

And then, like, on that Zoom, like,

you saw Angelina and--and Chris

they were like--they were acting weird, right?

- They were always acting weird.

- I'm praying for them because nobody wants to go through that

but they don't look happy. On that call, I was confused.

I was confused. - They--they--they haven't

looked happy since the wedding, bro.

- That marriage put-- took a toll

on everybody for one year.

Now, if it doesn't last, all that was for nothing.

- All the [bleep] we had to go through with the girls and--

- Nicole is no longer with us.

- Nicole not coming with. It's just like for what?

- Maybe she'll come back now.

- For the divorce party [bleep].

- For real, dude. Do you give speeches at divorce parties?

[laughter]

- ♪ Santa hit the ground so hard it's shakin' ♪

♪ Santa's in the house now cookies bakin' ♪

- That time of year again, Christmas cookies.

But this time it's a competition.

A "Jersey Shore" competition.

Deena suggests that we all do a cookie exchange.

I got this in the bag because Nikki is a wild card

in the kitchen.

You think you can do it, babe?

- What do you think? This is a baking show?

- Pretty much.

- I love cookies this time of year.

- Do sprinkles melt? I feel like they do.

- I need some [bleep] alcohol for this.

Distribute evenly.

[bleep] cookies are going to be flat as [bleep].

- Just send the showstopper.

- Who the [bleep] wants to do a cookie bakeoff?

[holiday music]

- Babe, can you get the butter out?

- Gonna help mom make cookies? You want some chocolate chips?

- Where's the baking powder?

- In the pantry? - In the pantry.

- Don't--don't dunk it in. You have to gradually add it.

- Where does it say that? - In every recipe.

- How about we do reindeer cookies?

- Looks like a bunny but okay. - Jesus Christ. Fine.

- What are you doing over there?

- Now I'm baking cookies.

- Oh, my God.

- This was Deena's idea, by the way.

[bleep] that man. Cookie off.

I'm a little annoyed that Deena wants to do a cookie exchange.

Oh, [bleep]!

I don't think she fully understood the concept

that we live in different states.

- How do we all eat each other's cookies though?

- We all send them out.

We wait for them all to be delivered and then we try them.

- But--but how many are we making?

- Seven dozen.

Great. I'm gonna make cookies

and send them to four different states.

Like, no big deal. This is what happens

when you're pregnant and you're bored.

- And I also got, like, fun Christmas pajamas.

You know, Christmas is my thing.

- I should've just ordered like six dozen.

- That's what I would've suggested.

- I'm going to make the seven layers.

I am super good at baking and these seven-layer cookies

are, like, my specialty.

- Deena loves making those green, white, and red things.

- You know, everybody loves my seven layers

so I want to impress.

- I don't like those. - I go by my eye.

I want the roomies to be like, "Ooh, Deena's

so--so good at baking."

These are going to be made with love.

- [bleep] came off. I rarely use this thing.

What if Angelina used hers? I got her those big,

nice ones for her wedding gift or whatever.

- Because I kind of returned the mixer

that Jenni bought me for my bridal shower.

Don't tell her though.

- Okay, I won't tell her.

- Oh, my God, we have to eat Angelina's cookies?

- Angelina doesn't cook. - No [bleep].

She probably bought hers.

- It wasn't so hard.

- I think Mike gonna eat all of his

before they send them out.

- You ate two trays of my romance cookies.

This is how much butter you consumed.

- Wow. Well.

My wife's cookies are fire. They're called romance cookies.

- Oh, yeah.

- You are in love with them from the first bite.

- Nikki was asking me for the recipe.

- Yeah.

- She asked me for it a few times.

I didn't send it yet.

- I know. I think Pauly loved 'em.

This is a recipe

that has been handed down from generation to generation.

- Listen, they're considered family.

We can give it to them. No one else.

- Or do we wait until they get married?

- Oh.

- Because now if they break up, where does the recipe go?

- Mm-hmm. Yep.

- I hope--oh my God!

Oh, my God! No!

[bleep] my life.

- Well, you know, Vinny ain't cook--well,

actually Vinny's mom's probably cooking his.

- Probably.

♪ ♪

- Clearly, I wasn't going to bake so I, you know,

made my mom bake my cookies for me.

[ding]

- ♪ Fa, la, la, la, la ♪

- It's way safer than Angelina's cookies

that's for damn sure.

- Oh, my goodness. Look at that.

- Are they good? - They are good.

- Wow.

- They're good.

♪ ♪

- How good is that? - I'd eat it.

- Send it. - Cat hairs on it.

Ew. I have to give them something.

I can't just not give the roommates anything

because then I'm going to hear [bleep] from them.

Let me give the roommates

something each that I think they like from my house.

All ready to be shipped out tomorrow.

- ♪ It's just like any ordinary time ♪

- Excited today?

- We're supposed to be in the pajamas that Deena sent.

Go change.

- Hello. - Yo, yo, yo, what up?

- Oh, good. Everybody's wearing their jammies.

- Deena, of course, sent us all matching PJs.

- Oh, yay. Everyone.

I wasn't sure if everybody was--oh.

- Ronnie wearing all black.

- I was just about to say wow, everybody wore their jammies.

- Something happened with the mail I think.

- On brand. On brand.

- Angelina's camera's sideways. She's sideways.

- Ah.

- Ang, you gotta spin the camera.

- I'm already drunk.

- Angelina, where's your husband?

- Working. Why do you ask?

Are you really that involved in my life?

Vinny just needs a hobby or he needs to get a girl

so he's not so focused on my life.

- I don't know what's going on between Angelina and Chris,

but it's kind of weird that he's not around

and she's acting like it's nothing.

And you know what, maybe it is nothing

and I can't keep up with this [bleep].

This right here I know right away it's probably Vinny.

- Those are not mine. Those are Paula's.

She's an angel.

- Yeah. - Those are called struffoli.

- CJ's loving Jenni's cookie. - Thank you, Aunt Deena!

- Them are delicious.

- Thank you, Milani.

- Who made these yummy ones? - Mike and Lauren's, right?

- Who made the chocolate chip?

- I made the chocolate chip. The chip my favorite one.

- Did anyone get non-cookie packaging?

- Yes. Who sent these?

- Oh yeah, I got teeth whitening.

Thanks, Ang.

- Angelina, you sent me hair dye.

- I wanna show what Angelina got me

but the kids have to leave.

- I knew you loved it. - Jenni, hide your kids.

- Oh, my gosh. - Wait, what? Oh, man.

All right, time to go. So thank you for hopping on.

I'm glad we were able to do this. I love you all.

- Cookie exchange. It was a disaster

but it was a success. For us to come together

for something like that, that's special.

- All right, bye. - Bye.

- Oh, my God!

- There's a lot of drama going on.

- I cannot believe there's divorce rumors already.

- Babe. - You look pretty.

I never really imagined what a woman for me would look like.

I have an important question to ask you.

Until I met Nikki. Will you accept this ring?

- Oh, my God, are you serious?

♪ ♪

- ♪ Hey ♪

- ♪ Yeah, hey ♪

- Vinny! - Get outta here.

- I gotta present for you, it's [bleep] Christmas.

- Leave it there. - I love you. Bye, bi-coastal.

- So it's Christmas Eve

and decided to make a little appearance finally.

- What's up, everyone?

♪ ♪

- Wow! - Go, go, go!

[laughter]

- Look, Vinny. Merry after Christmas. What the [bleep]?

- A speedo.

- h* h* h*!

- I'm vertically challenged so--

Story of my life.

- How is it this hard, like--

- Who wants almond milk at our house?

- I actually might rock this.

♪ ♪

- ♪ A kiss, a kiss ♪

♪ I'm standing by the mistletoe ♪

- I'll be honest, I am team healthy baby.

I am so excited, you know, because right now

we are about to find out the gender of our first baby.

We have everyone on the Zoom ready to go.

- Are we here? - Who dat?

- We're all so excited! CJ thinks it's a girl.

- Guys, I'm busy. Let's make this quick.

What's up? - Oh, my God, he so annoying.

- Who's team boy and team girl?

- Team boy. - Boy.

- Girl. - Girl.

- BDS is team boy right now but at the end of the day,

what we wish for is a happy, healthy baby boy. Oh no.

- Let's get it. Let's get it.

What we wish for is a happy, healthy baby.

- Whoo! - So--

- You ready?

- What do we-- what happened?

- All right, let's get it. - I don't know.

- Tree is gonna turn either pink or blue.

Okay. Okay. We're going to count down.

Three, two, one.

- Oh, my--

- Boy! It's a boy! [shouting]

- Knew it was a boy. I knew it! I knew it!

- It's a boy!

- A situation that's gonna have biceps bigger than his father.

I love it.

- Congratulations. - Oh, I'm so excited!

- It's gonna be incredible to see them as parents

and I'm just really excited to meet this baby.

- I wish we were together. This feels so weird

having to celebrate, like, you know such a--

- I know. I know. Hopefully, we can get together

maybe after the holidays when things calm down,

but we wanted to, like, have this gender reveal

when it happened for us too

because, you know, we're all family,

so we can't really hold anything from you guys.

- And you can't keep a secret anyway, Mike, so.

- It's really special for myself and my wife

to get this far in our pregnancy.

- You guys are trying.

- Yeah. - Getting pregnant.

- Seems like we're in attack mode right now.

- Yeah.

- It's definitely been a tough journey.

- It was /, seven weeks and I miscarried.

- We're about to have baby Situation and I'm so happy

to be at this very moment in time right now.

- It says it is.

- Stop it.

- We're ending on such a positive note.

- You're gonna make me cry. - We did it.

And is going to be epic.

I love you, guys. We gotta go. I'll catch you guys later.

- I love you! - Bye!

[all saying bye]

- Bye, baby Sorrentino.

- Bye!

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

- Happy New Year!

- ♪ Last night, took an L, but tonight I bounce back ♪

♪ Wake up every morning, by the night I count stacks ♪

- Honey, group chat is lit right now.

- What is happening now?

- There's a lot of dramas going on.

♪ ♪

- Wow, that's a new one.

Unfollowing each other on social media.

- You think they're getting a divorce?

- I don't know, babe.

- You know he's your best friend.

- No.

- Oh my God, Angelina removed the Larangeira name

from her bio.

D word, the divorce word.

- I cannot believe there's divorce rumors already.

Definitely trouble in paradise

over there with all the unfollowing,

Angelina deleting her Instagram every other day.

- It's a mess, man.

- Am I going to have to DJ a divorce party soon?

- I want my gift back.

- What a [bleep] show.

- It's wild.

was a doozy of a year,

but this is just next level.

♪ ♪

Just when we thought that everything was good

from the redo...

[cheering]

- I love a wedding redo this time of year.

- But it--it's not.

I really hope that she's okay, but I don't think

three time's a charm you know what I'm saying?

[phone ringing]

- Oh, man.

No. Not today, Jenni.

Might be a while.

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

- "The stars unfollowed each other.

"Angelina removed the Larangeira name

from her bio on Instagram."

Oh, my God.

- [bleep].

Okay, she's not answering me. She always answers me.

♪ ♪

- [sighs]

And so it begins.

There's so much information coming in from the streets,

from social media about Angelina's relationship

falling apart.

We've all been trying to reach out.

- Please leave your message--

- I haven't heard from her. Like, not one word.

- Now, she's going at it alone.

I have to put all these pieces of the puzzle together

so that maybe I can try to help her at the end of the day.

It seems like they're having nemores here, and all signs

lead to a toxic relationship right now.

I need to reinvent myself, okay?

Every single stage of your life is going to ask

for a new version of yourself.

We started out as The Situation.

My abs are so ripped up I call it the situation.

Transformed into the Inspiration.

all: Grant me the serenity

to accept the things I cannot change.

- Then The Designation. The Designation in the house.

- I owe you my life.

- Most recently The Mediation.

- The Mediation, that's a new one.

- Yeah. And this version calls for The Investigation.

[dramatic music]

♪ ♪

Even the blogs are picking it up.

The blogs thinking they're they're getting divorced.

That's not good at all.

- The hell's happening down here.

- What do you mean what's--what do you mean is happening?

- What is this?

Why are there pictures of Angelina and Chris up there?

- This is my secret project, all right?

My new nickname is called The Investigation.

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

- This is very romantic though. It is our anniversary.

Nikki and my--so it is Nikki and my--Nikki and I?

- Yeah. So it is our one--yeah, so it is our anniversary

and I'm trying to go all out.

Gonna need that. She deserves a nice anniversary

and I'm ready for this next level.

Baby, you make my heart go putt putt.

- Babe?

- There's my putter.

- Too sweet, I'm too--

Aw! - You look pretty.

I never really imagined what a woman for me

would look like until I met Nikki.

- We're having champagne. - Oh yeah, this is official.

And then I knew. Here we go. To one year.

- Salut. To one year. - To hanging in the pandemic.

- Yay. - Salud.

- was like a blessing in disguise.

- It was good for our relationship, I gotta say,

'cause like I said put me in one spot

for more than a week focus on our relationship.

It's just a lot of work. You're a lot of work.

- I'm--I'm a lot of work.

- See at least you admit it. At least you admit it.

Well, I will tell you this.

You are my best friend.

You have my heart.

And I have an important question to ask you.

Will you...

accept this ring?

- Oh, my God. Are you serious?

- I come home one day and Chris' stocking was gone.

- Stop it. - That's just, like, something

that I don't think anybody should go through.

I'm, like, in this house alone.

- It's my five-year soberversary.

Wanted to do, like, a family Zoom.

- I'd love to try and think of something else too.

- It's happening! I'm about to pull up

to Mike's house, let's do it!

all: Ohh!

- Party is [bleep] here. [screaming]

- Is that on? - I think.