[instrumental music playing]
[dog growling]
- Hi, hi.
Shh, it's OK.
It's OK.
Good girl.
You're OK.
Shh, good girl.
It's a good girl.
Yeah, come here.
Good job.
Good job.
Aww.
- You're always so good
with the mean ones, Charlie.
- She's not mean.
[dog whimpering]
She just needs a little love.
- I can sense when
you're a good person.
All right, get the gas.
[suspenseful music playing]
Yeah, put that in the pile with
the others for the crematorium.
Oh, and happy anniversary.
- Thanks.
[upbeat music playing]
When we were young, it
was like a fairy tale
I was the lucky one
You were my Holy Grail
But fairy tales have a monster,
a beast you cannot flee
Oh, oh, I try to
be your protector
But turns out the monster was me
Your burning love
sets my heart on fire
Does it burn up
[music volume fades]
[music clicks off]
[audio logo]
[suspenseful music playing]
- Help!
Please, help me!
Anybody!
Help!
Please, please, please, help me.
[weed wacker buzzing]
[dog barking]
[dog growling]
[weed wacker buzzing]
[dog barking]
Help me, please!
Help me, please!
Somebody!
Help!
Help me, please!
Please, help me!
Please!
Please, help me.
Please, let me out of here.
Please, please, please, help me.
Please, just let me out.
Just let me out, please.
Help, help.
Please, please, please, let me--
please, please, please,
please, let me out.
Please, please, please, help me.
Please, I can hear
the music upstairs.
Are you having a party?
Please, you got to
get me out of here.
- How'd you get the
lock off the muzzle?
- Uh, he-- he didn't
do it tight enough.
- Oh.
- Please, help me.
- Go ahead.
You must be hungry.
- You gotta get me out of here.
Mmm, mmm.
- You think it's
got enough vanilla?
- What?
- Do you think it
needs more vanilla?
- No, it's good.
- Good.
Well, you better put that
on before he gets home.
- No, you gotta
get me out of here.
You have to help me.
- I am.
If he finds out what
you did, I think--
I think you and I both
know what he'll do.
Come on.
He'll be home soon, you know.
And no more trouble tonight, OK?
It's my anniversary.
[music playing]
Happy anniversary.
- Happy anniversary, baby bird.
[laughing]
Mmm, mmm.
You really outdid yourself
this time, Charlie.
I don't think I could
eat another bite.
- Well, you better.
There's dessert, too.
I made your favorite, white
cake with cherry sauce.
- Ooh, I love cherries.
- I know.
- You know, usually
women only cook like this
when they want something.
- Well, all I want is you.
- So, I guess, I didn't
need to get you a gift then.
- You got me a gift?
What'd you give me?
Tell me, baby.
Wait, wait, wait, wait,
let's do yours first.
- Neato.
You got the wheel
and everything?
[wheel spinning]
[laughing]
- I mean, you've been
talking about doing it
since we went to that
art show in town, honey.
You said that maybe if you could
express yourself through art,
you might not want to, you know.
- Oh, right.
Yeah, no, good idea, Charlie.
Thanks, baby bird.
This was really thoughtful.
- Really?
You mean you'll try?
- Mhm.
Now, it's your turn.
[giggling]
- OK.
John, isn't this from, you know?
- Yeah.
I saw you had your eye on it.
I snuck it off
before we buried her.
- What?
Honey, why would-- isn't
this, like, evidence?
[creepy music playing]
You know, we can't afford
something like that.
[sigh]
I just-- I wanted
to get you something
nice for our anniversary.
[creepy music playing]
What?
You don't like it?
- No, no, honey.
No, I like it.
I like it.
It's beautiful.
- Are you sure?
- Yes, yeah.
- I think it's of her
dead mother or something.
We can take it out.
- Yeah.
- OK.
[girl crying]
Looks so good on you.
Let's do it in front of her.
- Honey, I said I
wasn't into that.
- Come on, Charlie.
It's our anniversary.
- No, no, John.
[heavy breathing]
Oh, my God.
[moaning]
Where are you going?
- To play with the dog.
- What?
It's our anniversary.
I thought we were going to watch
90 Day Fiance together, honey.
It's the season finale.
- It's just for a little while.
I had a rough day at work.
I'll be up in time.
- No, but wait, we
didn't have cake.
[girl crying]
- Hey, there, girl.
Hope we didn't make too
much noise and upset you.
Come here, girl.
Come here.
[girl crying]
Don't be a bad dog.
Aww, good girl.
Good girl.
All right, let's go for a walk.
What a beautiful day
in the neighborhood.
Tom, how are you?
Good to see you.
Sarah, how are the kids?
Excellent.
We're trying.
[laughing]
Yes, purebred.
I know, her coat's
coming in real well.
You gotta go.
It's walk time.
Time to go.
OK, now roll over.
Now beg, heel.
[girl crying]
Now, take the treat.
[knocking]
[girl crying]
[knocking]
- What the f*ck, Charlie?
When I'm down there,
it means I'm busy!
- I know.
90 Day Fiance is on, honey.
- Just put the tape on.
- But it already started.
We're missing the beginning.
Come on, please.
- You know that's
just the recap.
I remember what
happened last week.
I don't need them to tell me.
- But you said, John--
- Go on.
Better start the tape before
I miss something important.
Go on.
- (ON TV) What a f*cking liar.
Why do you keep the letter
from your ex if you're not
in love with her, huh?
Tell me!
[girl crying]
- You b*tch!
You b*tch!
You b*tch!
- (ON TV) So you're
a thief, too?
A criminal?
- b*tch!
[john screaming]
- (ON TV) I didn't steal it.
I mean, I asked him.
He said it was fine.
- You b*tch!
You b*tch!
[girl screaming]
[tv volume increases]
- (ON TV) My children, my
beautiful, warm country
to come to this cold,
gray sh*thole in bumfuck
nowheresville, and you
don't even have a job.
- Whew.
Sorry about that, baby bird.
Did you watch it without me?
Was it a good one?
Oh, come on.
Don't be like that.
- Yeah, it was John, and
I'm not watching it again.
So you're just going to
have to watch it alone.
- Gosh, you have such a temper.
You know, you
scare me sometimes.
- It's been five days
with this one, John.
Usually, it's only a couple.
- She's been a good girl.
Hey, do you mind changing
her pee pad tonight?
It's getting pretty gross.
Oh, come on, Charlie.
You know how I feel about
ladies bathroom stuff.
You got to keep some
things mysterious.
Besides, she could
get an infection.
You don't want her
to suffer, right?
- Happy f*cking
anniversary, John.
Go on, take it.
Don't be a bad girl.
[girl crying]
Run.
Go on, get out of here.
Go on.
You're free.
Go, run.
Come on, run.
[suspenseful music playing]
John!
John!
She got out!
John!
[gasping for air]
- God damn it, that hurts.
[coughing]
Who said you could go inside?
- No.
- Hey, that's a bad girl!
Very bad girl!
[pounding on floor]
Bad dog!
Bad!
Bad!
No!
Play dead!
Play dead!
[crying]
[coughing]
[screaming]
[gasping for air]
Are you OK?
[crying]
We just buried here.
- We've already got another
one around here, John.
It'll attract animals.
- Really?
I'm dragging for
another five minutes,
and then I'm dropping it.
- What?
Do you want to get caught, John?
- That's a stupid question.
- We've just gotta
keep down this path.
- Ahh.
We should go camping again.
- I'd like that.
[moaning]
- I'm sorry.
- It's not your fault.
- Yeah, it is, Charlie.
Maybe I shouldn't
do this anymore.
- Do what?
You know.
I mean, I almost lost
you tonight, baby bird.
I don't know what
I'd do without you.
- What?
Honey, do you mean it?
- I mean, we're going to run
out of places to dump them soon.
- Are you-- are you really
just-- you're just--
you're just going to quit?
I mean, just-- just
cold turkey like that?
- Hey, I've got willpower.
I'm not some animal
who can't help himself.
And besides, I
got a good reason.
- Oh, honey, honey, honey.
[laughing]
Oh.
Well, in a show of
solidarity, I'm quitting too.
I know how much you hate it.
- You know, I
think you're right.
I should express my feelings
in a healthier way with my art.
[laughing]
- Ready?
- (ON TV) I moved here for you.
I left my family, my children,
my beautiful, warm country.
- Is it good?
- Mhm.
- (ON TV) --cold, gray sh*thole
in bumfuck nowheresville!
[laughing]
And you don't even have a job!
And now, not only are
you cheating on me,
but you're a criminal thief!
- (ON TV) Hey, I
never cheated on you.
Honey, not once.
- Charlie, can I
ask you something?
It's a bit awkward.
You said a St. Bernard
did that to your face.
But those marks on your neck, is
everything all right with John?
- Oh, sure.
Yeah, why not?
- Well, it's just--
- You think John did this?
- Well, no.
- You think my husband
did this to me?
- I'm sorry.
It's none of my business.
It's your personal life.
But, Charlie, if I think
someone is being abused--
- No, you're right.
He did do this.
- Oh, my god, Charlie.
- Because I asked him to.
- Oh.
Oh, well, you might want to
cover it up a bit better.
This is a family place.
[law mower buzzing]
[cat meowing]
[lawn mower clanking]
[screaming]
- The lady wants
to press charges.
She says her daughter
is traumatized.
- Hey, it was her fault.
- She's f*cking 17, John.
Jesus.
- Really?
Well, she looks
younger than that.
- I would fire you, but
who the hell else is
going to hire you in this town?
You know, you got a criminal
record now, no skills.
- I got skills.
- Yeah, you got a skill
for f*cking things up.
I fixed it.
You're going to cut her grass
every week now for the rest
of the year on your own time.
- What?
I gotta cut that c**t's grass?
- Watch your f*cking mouth.
Imagine if your mom
heard you talk like that.
- You're not going to tell her.
Are you, dad?
- No.
There's no point
disappointing her further.
There's one more thing I
got to ask you about, John.
The girl's missing a bikini top.
Do you know anything about that?
- No, no.
- OK.
Charlie?
- Honey, which-- which
one of these looks better?
- I-- I don't know.
- (ON TV) Now remember, when
you're working with clay,
it's all about control.
First, you need to stop
the clay from wobbling.
So get your clay nice and wet,
and cup your hands around it,
and squeeze.
Now, slow the wheel down, and
start tipping that cone of clay
back over, and flatten the
top off with your thumb.
Now, insert your index
finger into your clay,
and start pulling outwards.
Now, squeeze that donut
of clay between your thumb
and your index finger, and
raise your hand up slowly.
Remember, nice and control.
You're doing really well
here, and then you're
going to thin those
walls as you go.
And congratulations,
you got yourself a pot.
- Oh, my God, Charlie.
What's up, girl?
I didn't know you worked here.
- Hey, Dev.
- Well, it's been a minute since
we were shaking her pom-poms,
drinking that schnapps.
- Yep.
Yeah, it sure has.
- How are your parents?
- Umm.
Yeah, I don't really see
much of them anymore.
- Oh.
What about your sister?
You still talk to her, right?
[cat meows]
- So what brings you in?
- Well, my kids just
got this little kitty,
and it needs its shots.
- Oh.
Kids?
- Yeah, three.
- Wow.
- I know, right?
What can I say?
We love to f*ck.
[laughing]
You?
- No, no, no kids.
- Are you married?
- Yeah, I am.
[laughing]
So, yeah, I can definitely
help you with those shots.
You know, we don't
even need a vet.
I can just do them right now.
- Oh, look at you.
- Meow.
- I got scratches from this
f*cking thing all over me.
Well, I guess, you can't really
tell, because I got makeup on.
Do you have any pets at home?
- No, John's allergic.
- Well, it was really
nice seeing you, Charlie.
It's been a long time.
- Yeah, yeah, I'm sorry.
- We should get together
sometime, grab a drink.
- Maybe.
- Oh, come on, I'd
love to catch up.
- Yeah, it's just I don't
really drink much these days.
- Wow.
You have definitely changed.
Well, if you ever want to talk
about anything, like anything,
or you just want to
blow off some steam--
oh, let's just exchange numbers.
- Whoa.
That's OK.
I'll just text myself.
Oh, got your password.
There you go.
OK, say bye.
[sigh]
- Sorry, Charlie.
Wish I could make you a d*ck
that works with that wheel.
- Well, I mean, we could--
we could try
something different.
- I don't know.
Something just
feel off, you know?
Doesn't it?
- What do you mean?
- Wasn't it more
exciting before?
- What?
Aren't I enough for you?
- Of course, baby bird.
- Oh, my God.
- No, no, no, no, don't be mad.
I'll get over it.
- Hey, Charlie.
Hey, can I speak
with you a second?
- Mhm.
- So I've been looking at
some of the inventory numbers,
and they don't match up.
We're missing some things,
including a bottle of halothane.
- Oh, really?
- Do you have any idea
where that bottle might be?
- Uh, no, no, I have no idea.
- Well, then, I
think, we're going
to need to speak
with the police.
We might have a thief.
[mysterious music playing]
- What are we going to do?
- (ON TV) What are these
charges on your credit card?
- Oh, we're out of ice cream.
Can you get some more when
you're at the store tomorrow?
- (ON TV) You got
my bank password?
- This is serious, John.
What if they figure out I've
been fudging the numbers?
- Hey, you said the police think
some kids broke in and took it,
right?
So I wouldn't worry about it.
- Oh, my God, I
feel like I'm always
cleaning up your f*cking mess.
[pottery wheel whirling]
- (ON PHONE) My Best
Friend Pet Supplies.
This is Gary.
How can I help you?
- Yes, hi there.
I'm just wondering if you've
had any recent purchases
from my husband.
- (ON PHONE) Your husbands?
What's his name?
- John Gilbert.
[girls chatting]
[moaning]
[rock music playing]
- Oh, yeah!
[laughing]
- Oh, OK.
- Girl, I am so glad you
agreed to go out tonight.
I was about ready to drive
my minivan into the lake
with my kids in it.
- Aren't you happy
with what's his name?
- Pete.
Yeah, I mean, gives a
good c*ck once in a while.
Creeper John been
creeping up into you?
- Don't call him that.
- Always thought he was g*y.
- Yeah, well, you always thought
guys who weren't into you
were g*y, so that checks out.
- So, is he hitting
that, or what?
Uh oh, I'm sorry.
So you have sad d*ck.
- No, no.
- Then what's the dealio?
I mean, sh*t, that body is
pristine, shrink wrapped sh*t.
I'm f*cking c-section
city over here.
Is he screwing around on you?
- Not exactly.
- Younger?
Bunch of predictable
f*ck, aren't they?
All right, you got to get his
eyes back on the prize, then.
- How do I do that?
- You gotta give
him what he wants.
- And what do you mean?
- You gotta figure out what
your man wants and then
give it to him, plenty of
it, and on a regular basis.
So he becomes dependent on
you, like f*cking crack.
Then after that, he won't
look at anybody else.
- Yeah, no, I'm not so sure that
if I give John what he wants,
it's such a good idea.
- All right, then you
got to k*ll the b*tch.
[laughing]
What's wrong, sweetie?
- Nothing.
It's just-- it's really
nice being able to talk
to somebody about this stuff.
I can't believe you don't
talk to your family.
I mean, your sister?
f*ck, man, you two are so close.
What happened?
- They don't like John.
- I can't believe you
married John Gilbert.
[laughing]
He was such a f*cking
creep in high school.
- That's my husband, Dev,
and he's not a creep.
He's just different.
- You had all the boys eating
out of the palm of your hand.
Why him?
- Those football
players, they treated me
like a g*dd*mn ashtray.
- Oh, they were a
bunch of sick f*ck.
I hear Dale Karloff
is a cop now.
Remember when he used to make
the Ret*rded kids eat dog sh*t,
and he would tell
them that it was cake?
- He did sh*t to me, too.
Nobody believed
me, not my parents.
My sister did, but she told
me not to tell anybody.
So I didn't, until one day.
One day, I was sitting alone
after practice on the bleachers,
and it was raining, and
he came over to me, John,
and he put his jacket
over my shoulders,
and he asked me what was
wrong, and I don't know why.
I mean, I barely even knew
him, but I told him everything.
I mean, it felt so good to tell
somebody, and he was so sweet.
He told me that he'd protect me,
and he called me his baby bird.
He still does.
- Baby bird?
Oh, my f*cking God,
that's so lame.
- I thought it was sweet.
- All right, so he
treats you right?
- Yeah.
- Then what was
with the bruises?
- Oh, my God, we're
into some kinky sh*t.
- Bullshit.
- What do you mean?
- Hey, listen.
I like the feeling of
a man's meaty hands
crushing my windpipe just
as much as the next girl.
That sh*t didn't look
like nothing consensual.
- OK.
- That looked like you had a
f*cking run in with the Boston
Strangler.
- Well, you're wrong, so--
- I heard things about John.
Wasn't he arrested for,
like, creeping on some girl?
- That girl was a f*cking
liar, and what are you--
what are you doing, Dev?
- I'm sorry.
I didn't mean to pry.
- Why do you keep
f*cking bringing up
sh*t about my husband?
I mean, I'm literally--
I'm trying to-- I'm
trying to open up to you.
I'm trying to tell
you my problems.
What are you f*ck are you doing?
You're making accusations
about my husband.
- Yo, chill.
I just-- I was just talking.
- No, f*ck you, dude.
- Oh, f*ck.
Charlie, I'm sorry, but
you deserve so much better
than that f*cking rapey geek.
Girl, I love you.
I'm just trying to
look out for you.
- f*ck off.
- Oh, my God, you don't
f*cking-- you don't see it.
But your family, your sister,
you don't talk to any of them.
Don't you know that's
really f*cked up?
- Go on.
Go f*cking drive home.
Get in a f*cking accident.
I don't care.
- Man, you used to be nice.
b*tch, we were best friends.
You know what?
Whatever he's done to you,
he's a f*cking piece of sh*t
for doing it.
He's hurting you, I'm
going to f*cking--
I'm going to talk to
that mean f*ck Dale,
and he's going to f*ck him up.
- Oh, yeah?
You're going to call
the f*cking cops on me?
- Ow!
f*cking c**t.
What the hell, man?
- b*tch.
Stupid f*cking b*tch with
an ugly f*cking haircut.
[rock music playing]
Praise the Lord to
run his many eyes
This is me, Lucifer,
in a trained disguise
- Hey.
Look, I'm sorry for
what I was saying.
- What?
Call the f*cking cops
on me and John, b*tch?
Huh?
[horn honk]
No, you won't.
[suspenseful music playing]
- Where are we?
- You were drunk,
and I drove you.
- This isn't my house.
What the f*ck did you do to me?
- I didn't do anything to you.
I just didn't--
- You f*cking
b*tch, I have kids.
- Oh, my God, stop screaming.
- [screams]
- f*ck.
Oh, my God, you just
f*cking punched me you--
- [screams]
[grunting]
- No, no, no, no, no, no, no,
no, sh*t, sh*t, sh*t, sh*t, no,
oh, my God, oh, my God, f*ck,
no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
oh, my God, oh, my
God, oh, my God.
[screams]
Oh, my God.
Ew.
Oh, my God, f*ck, f*ck.
[grunting]
Come on, Charlie.
It'll be a fun night,
just like old times.
Yeah?
How much fun you
having now, b*tch?
- Where were you?
You snooping now?
- What are you doing, John?
- Nothing.
I swear.
- I thought you
said you would try.
- I am.
It's just been so hard, you
know, with work and the cops,
and then you're mad at me now.
And I don't think I'm very good
at this pottery thing either.
- That's a very
nice teapot, John.
- It's a f*cking butter dish.
You see?
No matter how hard I try,
nothing comes out right.
- I know you're trying.
- I wasn't going to
do anything with that.
It just makes me
feel safe, you know?
You believe me, right?
What did you girls get up to?
- Devin got drunk and
drove into a ditch,
and so I had to help
her get her out.
- That's weird.
- Yeah, she was--
she was acting crazy, so--
- Charlie?
- What?
- Be honest with me.
- What?
- I know you did something bad.
- Huh?
- You smoked, didn't you?
Ugh, I smell it on you.
- I'm sorry, baby.
I did.
- That Devin is a bad influence.
- Yeah, but I won't--
I won't be seeing
her ever again.
[instrumental music playing]
- Hey, cat k*ller.
Mow any p*ssy lately?
- That was an accident,
and it wasn't even yours.
- God, you smell.
- That's because I've been
working for a living all day.
- Yeah?
Well, I was at the lake today.
- Must be nice.
- Yeah, well, it would have
been, except for the fact
that all I wanted to do
was wear my new bikini,
but it was missing
a f*cking top.
- What's that got to do with me?
- That's OK.
I don't even want
it back anyway.
It's probably already
filled with your c*m.
- No, it isn't.
- So, what?
You're saying that
you didn't jerk off
to the smell of these
hot, young t*ts?
- You know, girls your age
shouldn't talk like that.
- Yeah, well, guys
your age shouldn't
be creeping on little girls.
- I'm not creeping,
and you don't
look so little to me,
especially dressed like that.
- Well, I'm going
to get a shower.
Maybe you should
try it sometime.
Gotcha, cat k*ller.
I knew it, you're a
little f*cking pervert.
So first, you steal a
teenager's underwear.
- It was a bikini top.
- And you jerk off to it.
And then you start
stalking me, right?
Hanging around my school.
What the f*ck?
- No, I didn't.
- Yeah, you parked your
company truck there,
so it kind of had
the name right on it.
- It could have been anybody.
- And you t*rture animals.
- He didn't suffer.
- And then you come
right into my house.
- I was going to
use the bathroom.
- Right.
So we have sexual deviance,
stalking, breaking and entering,
and cruelty to f*cking animals.
I don't know, dude.
It seems pretty
f*cking obvious to me.
You're a serial k*ller.
- Wait.
What do you want?
- I want you to beg.
- I don't f*cking beg.
That's your job.
- OK, sorry.
Whoa.
[gasping]
Do it.
Do it!
Do it, cat k*ller!
[horn honking]
- Please, don't tell your mom.
Please, I have a wife.
[suspenseful music playing]
- Hey, Gilbert.
- Hey, meathead.
- It's detective
meathead to you.
- Detective, what?
You got tired of picking
on the Ret*rded kids?
Now, you're picking on
the immigrants, too?
- r*pe any teenage girls lately?
- What do you mean?
- Well, that's what they
got you for in high school.
- I didn't r*pe anybody.
- Right, right.
- What are you here for?
- Your wife.
- What?
- Hey, Dale.
- Charlie, damn,
you still look fine.
What are you?
You moisturize a lot, or--
- What do you want
with my wife, Karloff?
- It's about our former
classmate, Devin.
- Devin?
What's going on?
- I'll explain later.
Dale, do you want some coffee?
- I'd love some.
- Do you want me to stay?
- We had three pitchers.
- And then you drove?
I'm kidding.
If I arrested everybody who
drove drunk in this town,
we'd have to build
a bigger jail.
[laughing]
- So what do you think happened?
- She was probably m*rder*d.
- Oh, my God.
- Yeah.
I mean, I found her
cell phone in the ditch.
Her car was on the side
of the road, abandoned.
It does not look good.
Real shame, too.
I remember Devin had
such a great bod, though,
I haven't seen
her in some years,
and I heard she had
a bunch of kids.
So who knows?
It could have been a f*cking
disaster down there, right?
Are you crying?
Oh, sh*t.
Look, hey, I'm sorry.
I'm being insensitive here.
- Well, yeah.
I mean, she was still my friend.
- Right.
I guess, I just--
I just there might have been,
like, a falling out because
of the fight you two had.
- Oh, what?
What fight?
- I heard you two
got into a fight.
- No, no, who--
I'm sorry.
Who told you that?
- Witnesses.
- Huh.
- Yeah.
And her husband tried calling
you a bunch of times, and--
- I didn't recognize the number.
- He left messages.
- OK.
So yeah, we got
into a little fight,
but that doesn't
mean I k*lled her.
- Oh, no, no, no,
no, no, I don't--
I do not think
that you-- no, this
was almost definitely a man.
I don't think a woman is
capable of doing something
like this, especially
to another woman.
It's like girl code, right?
You guys have your girl code?
- Yeah.
- But um, your husband,
where was that night?
- Probably at home.
- Just at home.
All right.
All right, this is probably
enough to get me started,
and thank you for the coffee.
And if I have any other
questions, I'll let you know.
Just one other thing
about us in high school.
I was young and stupid.
I mean, we all were.
But if I ever did anything
to make you feel--
you know, I got
daughters now, so--
- Right.
I guess you wouldn't
want them finding out.
- Finding out?
Finding out, what?
- Anyways, it was a long
time ago now, so I guess--
- Yeah.
It was a long, long time ago.
Good chat.
Yeah, good chat.
One last little thing, and then,
I promise, Charlie, I'm gone,
OK?
I was just kind of
wondering if you remember
any of those old cheers.
I mean, you were by far
the best on the squad.
Maybe you could give me
one for old time's sake.
- We've got that razzmatazz.
We got fight.
We got pizzazz.
Think you got us?
You've been had.
We're the ones with razzmatazz.
Razzmatazz!
[clapping]
- Wow.
That was-- you've
still got it, Charlie.
Wow.
You-- it's better
than I remembered it.
OK, ooh, got me all hyped up.
[crying]
Hey, there, Gilbert.
The old man said
you might be here.
- What's going on?
- Well, night of the 15th,
between 7:00, 11:00 PM,
where were you?
- At home.
- By yourself?
- Uh, yeah.
Why?
- He's lying.
- What does she know?
Get back inside.
He's not talking to you.
- No, I'm talking to her now.
Where was he?
- He was with me.
- What?
- Hey, you can tell me.
What was he doing?
- He was he eating my p*ssy.
- Come on.
She's lying.
- That's not the first time
I've heard you say that.
She is-- she's a child.
And you know, to a
child, that's a crime.
- Actually, the legal
age of consent is 16.
I'm 17, so it's perfectly legal.
- That doesn't sound right.
- Well, go ahead, look it up.
By the way, it means
that I'm a woman,
so I can go to bed with
whoever the f*ck I want.
- Is she telling
the truth, Gilbert?
- Uh, yeah, she's a woman.
- Good one.
- OK.
Yeah, you got me.
I was here that night, um--
- Eating my p*ssy.
- Jesus Christ.
Does your mother
know about this?
- Yes, she was watching.
- She wasn't-- and you,
with a wife at home.
I can't believe you would
treat her like this, Gilbert.
- Don't talk to me about
how I treat my wife.
She told me what you did.
- OK.
Well, I'm probably going to
need a signed statement out
of you, missy.
Are you OK with that?
Because you know, lying to a
police officer, that's a crime.
Yeah, I'm watching you.
I'm watching you.
I'm watching the both of you.
17, Gilbert, you, ugh.
[car starts]
- So, who'd you
k*ll, cat k*ller?
- Thanks.
- Well, it wasn't for you.
You get caught,
then my fun is over.
- Why are you doing this?
- Because I like
watching you squirm
- Oh, yeah?
Well, I liked watching you
squirm the other night, too.
[giggling]
Hey, don't laugh at me.
- Or what?
- Listen, you're young.
You're hot.
You've got your whole
future ahead of you.
Don't mess with me.
- What future?
- What do you mean?
Don't you have
dreams or something?
- Yeah.
I used to want to be famous.
- Oh yeah?
- Yeah, just like my idol.
- Oh.
Who's your idol?
- The Black Dahlia.
[giggling]
Boo.
- He thinks I did it, Charlie.
But it wasn't me, not this time.
So who was it?
- I don't know, John.
- Did you--
- Did I what?
- Hurt Devin?
- I'm not the one who
hurts people, John.
[somber music playing]
Wait.
- That's my Caroline's.
- I'm sorry?
- My niece.
She came to live with me
after her mother died.
That locket, it's hers.
- No, I'm sorry.
But no, my husband gave this
to me for our anniversary.
- No, no, no, no,
that's my Caroline's.
Let me see it.
- It's mine.
- No.
That's my sister.
Caroline's grandmother,
she gave it to her.
That man, that man
came out to our place.
He was cutting the grass
around the buildings,
and he was talking to Caroline.
He doesn't come around anymore.
That's my Caroline.
- That's my husband, actually.
He got it for me.
- That is my Caroline's.
Where did you get it?
Where did you get it?
Where did you get it?
- Sandra?
Is everything OK?
[pottery wheel whirling]
[gasping for air]
[music playing]
[knocking]
- [grunts]
Ugh!
[thud]
[moaning]
[heavy breathing]
- Ugh.
- Stop!
Just stop!
This was supposed to be quick!
Just go!
[crying]
- Hey, baby bird.
I didn't hear you come in.
Where were you?
- We had an
emergency at the vet.
- Hey, what happened
to your hand?
[glass shatters]
- Oh.
- I'm sorry.
- Hey, hey, hey, hey.
- I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
- It's OK.
It's OK.
- I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
[crying]
- It wasn't one of
the good ones anyways.
It's all right.
- I'm sorry.
- I'm sorry, but we're
going to have to let you go.
- Dr. Hanson, I'm so sorry.
OK, but working
here with you, this
is all I've ever wanted to do.
Please, please, please, please,
do not take that away from me.
- (ON TV) Devin Shaffer,
32, mother of three,
was found among the
dead bodies totaling.
Almost 20 teenage girls were
found decomposing in the woods.
Shaffer has been missing for
over a month after a night
out with a friend.
Also discovered was a suitcase
buried in a shallow grave
nearby, containing the remains
of a 65-year-old woman.
Police suspect that the
smell from the shallow grave
attracted several coyotes--
- Charlie!
- (ON TV) --who then
unearthed the remains.
The body--
- Hey.
- You're not going
to believe this.
They agreed to show my
pottery at the local art show,
at the high school this Friday.
People from all over are
going to see my work.
Isn't that great?
- Congratu--
congratulations, honey.
- Thanks for believing
in me, baby bird.
- Hey, we should go camping.
- OK.
Yeah.
When?
- Now.
- But I just told you
about the art show.
- Right.
Yeah, I'm sorry.
It's fine.
I just.
I just thought
camping would be nice.
- Yeah.
But this is a pretty
big thing for me.
If this goes well, then,
maybe I can open up
my own store or something.
And if that does well, maybe we
can give grandma's house back
to my dad and get our own
place, have somebody mow my lawn
for a change.
- Yeah.
No, that's great.
I'm sorry.
We can go another time.
- You'll be there, right?
- Of course, honey.
I wouldn't miss it No,
I'm so proud of you.
Hey, why don't you take
a few days off of work?
Just really focus on
your art for the show.
Just really wow them.
- Really?
- Yeah.
Just cut yourself off completely
from the world and just really,
really focus on your work.
- I don't know if that
is such a good idea.
I mean, we need the money.
- You'd sell your
stuff at the show.
- Yeah.
Yeah.
Positive thinking.
I like that.
I'm going to call
my dad right now.
- No.
It's OK, honey.
I'll tell him.
- OK.
All right, um, yeah.
- The following victims
have been identified,
thanks to dental records.
They are all female
and under 17 years old.
Some of the victims
were known locally,
while others came from
surrounding areas.
All of the victims
were discovered nude
and buried in garbage bags.
Police suspect that many
had been strangled to death.
The identified victims were
reported missing by their family
within the last week.
The last reported missing
only two months ago.
There are at least 11 victims
who still need to be identified.
The level of
decomposition is making
it difficult to identify the
victims when no dental records
are available.
[music playing]
[grunting]
- Good word.
You really need to get
that CPAP like I told you.
You were snoring so bad,
you stopped breathing.
- So it looks like Devon
barfed herself to death.
You want to split some wings?
I barely had lunch.
We could do a pound of 911s.
- What do you-- how did--
why did she--
- Oh, it looks like
she was poisoned.
They're still
running some tests.
But we'll know soon enough,
exactly what did it.
I heard you got fired
from your job at the vet.
- Yeah.
So?
- So what happened?
Well, don't you already
know what happened?
- Not really.
I mean, the doc just
said that you were
kind of acting strange lately.
And then she alluded to the
fact that your husband might
be giving you raccoon eyes.
- Oh, my god.
Why do people always think
bad things about John?
- John does bad things.
The guy is a creep
and a child molester.
- He's not a child molester.
He was the same
age as that girl.
- I'm not talking
about that sex crime.
I'm talking about the
17-year-old whose hedges he was
trimming the other day.
- What are you talking about?
- A little Lolita on his route.
The guy stopped by to
ask John where he was
the night Devon disappeared.
And then she comes
out of the house
in this skimpy little
bikini, saying that he
was with her that night.
- Bikini?
- Like a skimpy,
tiny little bikini.
John pretty much
admitted to f*cking her,
just to prove his alibi.
I got the statement in my
car if you want to see it.
- No.
- Real good guy you
got there, Charlie.
- Oh, yeah?
You act like you're so
much better than him, Dale.
I know what you're capable of.
- Hey.
Hey, I'd apologize for that.
- I must have missed that.
- What?
I mean, at least
I'm not a k*ller.
- I'm not a k*ller.
- I meant your husband.
- Neither is he.
- So your boss-- well, I guess
I'll say your former boss.
She filed a police report about
a bottle of some missing drug
used for anesthetizing animals.
Like I said, we don't know
exactly what poisoned Devon.
But it would be a
real coincidence
if her tox screen
came back and showed
traces of that same
drug in her system.
Come on, Charlie.
Look, it's not just
about Devon anymore.
It's about all those
other girls, too.
They had families.
You really want to
go down for Gilbert?
- If you had anything, Dale--
if you had anything at all,
you would have done
something by now.
But you haven't.
So that means you got sh*t.
- So it just doesn't
bother you at all?
- Of course it does.
- Well, then help me stop him
before he does something to that
17-year-old kid.
- If John ever did anything,
he doesn't do it anymore, OK?
He's different.
He's taken up pottery.
He even has an art
show coming up.
- Are you being f*cking
serious right now?
- Yeah, I'm being
f*cking serious, Dale.
It's a really big deal for him.
- Wow.
Look, you're right.
OK?
I don't have anything.
I really don't.
In fact, this isn't
even my case anymore.
They got big shots coming
into town in a couple days
to take it over.
So you know with their hotshot
investigators and their crime
labs, they'll figure out, soon
enough, what's going on here.
Look, it's better for you.
Hell, it's better for John if
you guys just cooperate with me.
Let's get ahead of this.
They got pottery
classes in prison.
- Why would you help us?
- I don't give a sh*t
about your psycho husband.
But I want to help you because.
I feel terrible about what
I did to you in high school.
It bothers me so much
that I can't even
look at my own daughter,
since she became a teenager.
So maybe if I help you, I'll
be able to look her in the eyes
again.
- I'm not testifying
against her.
- I know.
I know you don't have to.
Look, you let me
search your house.
I find something solid.
I'll say you
cooperated and then you
had no idea what he was up to.
[music playing]
[chatter]
[heavy breathing]
[music playing]
- What are you doing here?
- I am a patron of the arts.
- Horse manure.
What do you want?
- Look, I'm sorry for
being such a b*tch before.
I guess I just like f*cking
with people, you know?
- It's not cool.
- I know.
I just wanted a
little attention.
That's all.
Ever since my dad
left, I have been
looking for a father
figure, someone
to spank me when I'm bad.
Sorry.
Anyway, I know that
you're not a bad guy
- Oh.
Well, thanks.
- So where's your wife?
- Gilbert, you sick f*ck.
[thumps]
[groan]
- That dog.
- She'll be here.
- Because I would never
miss my husband's opening.
But I guess some people just
can't appreciate great art.
- You think it's good?
- I love it.
I'm super impressed.
How much is this one?
- You want to buy it?
- Yes.
- I don't know.
What do you think is reasonable?
- A lot.
- No.
[crash]
Hey!
[laughter]
Hey!
No.
Stop.
Stop.
My babies!
My!
Babies!
No, no, no, no, no.
- Not that one?
Please catch it.
No, mine.
Here, catch.
No, mine.
[laughter]
- Why are you doing this to me?
- Time for a walk,
little doggie.
- Charlie, please.
Look, I've got kids.
- I can't even look at you.
f*cking coward.
Turn around.
Turn around.
They won't be able to
look at you either,
once I'm finished with you.
Now, beg.
Beg!
Good boy.
Now, piss yourself.
Piss yourself.
- I can't.
[laughter]
- Good boy.
Good boy.
Now, take the treat.
- What?
- Take the treat.
- Yeah.
You like that?
[gagging]
You like that?
Oh, yeah.
You like that.
You f*cking like that?
[gag]
Oh, my god.
Oh, my god.
Oh, my god.
I'm going to c*m,
I'm going to c*m.
You better swallow, b*tch.
You better f*cking swallow.
- Charlie, stop!
[gagging]
[grunting]
He's too heavy.
We'll never get him upstairs.
- OK, so what do you want to do?
- Give me the g*n.
- No.
- OK, fine.
You get him up, then.
- Come on, boy.
Get, up
- Not a f*cking chance.
[heavy breathing]
If you don't go up those stairs,
it's going to be a lot messier.
We'll have to hack you
up into little pieces.
Maybe we sprinkle them around
your daughter's bedrooms.
That's what I thought.
[heavy breathing]
- Ugh!
[groan]
- No, no.
Agh!
[music playing]
- Ugh!
- Where's Dax Karloff?
Turn over!
Ugh!
[heavy breathing]
No.
[grunting]
[heavy breathing]
I thought you quit.
- I thought you quit.
- He's got a family.
What are we going to do?
- Cut him up into tiny
pieces, sprinkle them
around his daughter's bedrooms.
[music playing]
[heavy breathing]
- A manhunt is underway
to find Detective Karloff
after recent evidence
was discovered,
which implicates him in the
murders of 20 teenage girls.
The evidence, along with
a written confession,
was discovered in
Karloff's vehicle.
This also connects Karloff with
the brutal slayings of Devon
Schaeffer and Sandra Wilkinson.
Wilkinson was the aunt
of Caroline Prescott,
one of the victims found buried
in the woods over a week ago.
Many of his colleagues
on the police force
refused to believe that Karloff,
father of two young girls,
is capable of committing
these heinous crimes.
Hi.
[giggles]
- [choked speech]
[crashing]
- Uh!
[upbeat music] Hey, hey,
hey, hey, I'm a creep.
I'm a freak.
I am not your cup of tea.
I am woke.
I'm asleep.
I'm a joke.
I'm a tease.
Make it cold.
I'm a freak.
[muffled music]
Call me what you want.
Call me what you want.
Call me what you want.
Call me what you want.
Call me what you want.
Call me what you want.
Call me what you want.
Sticks and stones might break
the home and your b*tch's bones
when she gets the phone.
[dog barking]
- Who's out there?
Yo, my mom is going
to be home any minute.
- No, she won't.
She's staying at her
boyfriend's tonight.
- What are you doing here?
- I want you to leave
my husband alone.
- Why?
- You need to leave, OK?
You need to pack a bag, and you
need to go somewhere far away.
- Yeah.
I'm like 17, so I don't
even have a part-time job.
- This should help.
- Why are you doing this?
- Because us girls
have to stick together.
- So, what, you're like
jealous of me or something?
[giggling]
- No.
Girls like you come and go,
sometimes quick, sometimes
not so much.
- Get the f*ck out of my house.
Look, I'm sorry that
your husband is a creep.
OK, but maybe you should
be the one who's leaving.
- Wait.
- Get the f*ck out
of my house before I
call the cops on both of you.
Run, b*tch.
Goodbye.
- Don't lie to me.
I know you've been
stealing from me.
- Steal from you?
Never.
What would I steal from you?
You have nothing.
- Stealing my jewelry.
- [indistinct speech]
- What the--
Why is there a lock on the door?
What the f*ck, Charlie?
- I tried to reason
with her, John.
- How'd you get her here?
- I crushed up some
Valium I stole from work
and put it in her spaghetti.
- Why did you bring her here?
- Well, because I
couldn't k*ll her there.
And since she's been f*cking
with you for so long,
I wanted to f*ck
with her a little.
What?
I thought you went
over there to k*ll her.
- Yeah.
But I changed my mind.
- Oh, sweetie, I'm not angry.
After spending five
minutes with this b*tch,
I wanted to k*ll her.
- Charlie, no.
- Hey, it's OK.
- It is?
- Yeah.
I'll k*ll her, so
you don't have to.
[music playing]
[grunting]
- I'm going to let her out.
- What?
But why?
- Where's the key, Charlie?
- Why?
- Because I don't
want you k*lling her.
k*lling that meathead, Dale,
your friend, some old lady--
I don't like what
it's done to you.
- But she's going to tell.
- No, she won't.
We're cool, right?
She likes to watch me squirm.
- Excuse me?
- She gets off on messing with
me, but she won't tell on us.
Because it'll ruin
her fun, right?
- No.
No, John.
[clanking]
- You two are f*cking sick.
And you, cat k*ller,
you got a massive c*ck.
So I can see why she puts up
with all your serial k*lling
and pottery.
- Tell her you
won't tell anybody.
- f*cking b*tch.
- What are you doing, Mia?
She's not playing.
This isn't a f*cking joke.
- No, it isn't.
And I knew that you
k*lled all those girls.
You know, I went to
school with some of them.
So you're going to
pay for what you did.
- What?
They weren't like
close friends, right?
Give us a minute, OK?
Listen, I want to apologize
for k*lling your friends
- Oh, I don't actually
know any of those girls.
- What the f*ck, then?
Why are you doing this?
- My mom said that I have to
stay inside while you're around.
- What?
- That I have to stay inside.
And that I can't go
outside while you're there.
Because you're some
kind of pervert.
But she still hired you, anyway.
- That's not true.
That was a misunderstanding.
- I don't f*cking care
because that's not the point.
I should be able to do whatever
I want, anytime I want to.
But, no, because I'm a girl,
I can't wear a bathing suit
without getting creeped out.
And I can't walk
around alone at night.
I can't go to my front porch.
I can't go to school
because of f*ck like you.
I don't like that you set the
f*cking rules around here.
So guess what, cat k*ller?
I set the f*cking rules
around here now, m*therf*cker.
- You got real problems.
[music playing]
- You going to
finally do me, John?
I'm a little old
for you, aren't I?
- What happened
to you, baby bird?
- I'm doing this for us, baby.
- So am I.
[grunting]
- sh*t, Charlie.
You almost hit me.
- Please, John, just
let me k*ll her.
Then we can f*ck on
top of her dead body.
Wouldn't you like that, honey?
We can do her while
she's still warm.
- I don't think that'd be
very good for her marriage.
- Go ahead.
John.
You already broke my heart.
- I'm going to let her go.
- No.
[dog barking]
- You almost k*lled me.
- I'm sorry, honey.
I got a little carried away.
But I still love you.
- OK, baby bird.
That was one of my favorites.
- m*therf*cker.
- Go.
[music playing]
- What did you do?
- She's just sleeping.
- No, she's not.
You're f*cking liars.
You k*lled her.
She's not even breathing.
[sobbing]
[screaming]
[music playing]
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Did you know that you can remove censorship board-wide, use our advanced search functions, be notified when new content is posted, join our memberships, set episodes to show in any order you want & more if you are logged into your account?
Register or sign in here: ucp.php?mode=register
Sick Puppy (2025)
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