02x21 - Funky Chili and Friends Who Take Their Clothes Off

[bunniefuu]

Previously on Georgie & Mandy's
First Marriage...

Just please tell me
in the future

you and Chloe will be
more careful.

She broke up with me.

Chloe called.

Go get it, son.

You weren't there last time.

- He was a wreck.
- I was.

- And he's just getting over her.
- I am.

So he definitely does not
want to see her again.

I might.

Dude.

Kind of figured your family
might hate me.

They do. Big-time.

Do you?

I did.

I probably should, but I don't.

Kind of awkward, isn't it?

Even for me,
and that's saying something.

Well, we're a little
slammed today

but I'll tell you what,
let me talk to my mechanic.

I'll make sure your car
is next up.

Thank you.

Excuse me a sec.

McAllister Auto.

Oh, right,
uh, we're running behind,

but let me talk to my mechanic.

I'll make sure your car
is next up.

I'm just saying that,
it's definitely you.

Ruben?!

Ruben, what are you doing?
We're all backed up.

I'm having the opposite
problem in here.

Well, hurry.

My stomach's a mess.

I think it's something I ate.

We ate the same thing, I'm fine.

If I don't make it out of here,

tell my abuela I love her.

Georgie, I need
to use the bathroom.

Not as much as me.

What am I supposed to do?

Use the gas station
across the street.

No, they're nice,
I can't do that to them.

I think something was wrong
with that chili.

Uh-oh.

Hey, you know
where the plunger is?

Hello?

Dude, this isn't funny!
I need it!

Pass me the socket wrench.

Yep.

Nope.

Chili?

Chili's long gone.

I don't know what that is.

Uh-oh.

You okay?

If we k*ll the chili guy, no
court in Texas would convict us.

Whataya say we close up
and go home.

There's five more cars
in the lot.

Have some Pepto.

I had some Pepto.

Oh, that explains the pink.

We can soldier through this.

sh**t.

I got a tow.

You gonna be okay here?

You gonna be okay
out on the road?

Yeah, little fresh air
will probably do me good.

Just in case.

You okay?

I'm fine, just something I ate.

You don't sound fine.

No, no, I'm good.

This'll just take a sec.

Needless to say,
this one's on the house.

♪ Baby mine ♪

♪ Baby mine... ♪

Sorry. Sorry.

Sorry!

Mm-hmm.

All right, I'll be there
as soon as I can.

What's going on?

Georgie and Ruben got
food poisoning.

Oh, no.

Yeah, apparently
it's coming out both ends.

Why tell me that?

Trust me that's the best way
to find out.

Jim, I just found Chloe
in Connor's bed.

You don't say. Got to go.

Where are you going?

Trouble at the store.

What are we gonna do?

Trouble at the store.
I got to go.

Oh, thank God.

Oh, honey, you look terrible.

What did you eat?

- We had some bad...
- Don't say it.

We never say that word again.

You guys go home, I got this.

Oh, we got this.

Really? You're gonna help?

You think I want
to go home with that?

Hi.

Hello.

So, I heard you saw Chloe.

I saw a lot of Chloe.

She was really embarrassed.

What about me?

You could have told me
she was spending the night.

I would've, but I didn't want
you getting all weird about it.

I don't get weird.

I didn't even know
you two were a couple again.

We're not, we're just friends.

Friends don't see each other's
private parts.

And we've arrived at weird.

No. No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

I can be cool.

I don't think you can.

Oh, please,
I was alive in the '60s.

I'm not a fuddy-duddy.

People who say "fuddy-duddy"
are fuddy-duddies.

Don't change the subject.

Chloe and I are just friends,

and sometimes she spends
the night

but we're not putting
a label on it.

Cool.

That's cool.

Labels are such a drag.

- Thanks for your business.
- Mm-hmm.

Here you go. Sorry for the wait.

Oh, no problem.
I just popped across the street

and grabbed some lunch.

- The chili place?
- Yeah.

Okay, uh,
you don't have much time.

Yeah, you want to drive home
right now.

Do not stop for anything.

- Why?
- Just go, woman.

How's that alignment coming?

Done.

We're almost caught up.

Can I help?

You actually want
to get your hands dirty?

Yeah.

You know, when you were a kid
and I offered to teach you,

you said, and I quote, "Ew."

Okay, I have a three-year-old.

You would not believe
what comes out of her.

All right, let's give it a shot.

I can wear gloves though, right?

I just got a manicure.

I mean, after all
she put him through,

why would he want
to be friends with her?

Let alone a friend
he sleeps with.

Uh-huh.

And who sleeps
with their friends anyway?

I mean, have friends.

I play bridge with them
and clothes stay on.

Mm-hmm.

Not wanting to put a label
on their relationship.

Labels are important.

How do you know what size
your clothes are?

A label.

How do you know
when food's expired?

A label.

How do you know
who to sleep with

and who to go to a movie with?

A label?

A label!

Thank you.

Did you add honey?

Love you, Abuela.

Just because I still
live at home

doesn't mean Mom needs to know
all my business, right?

Are you even listening to me?

Uh-huh.

There you go, you just rotated
your first set of tires.

Hell yeah, I did.

You know there was a time
I thought McAllister Auto

was gonna be a family business.

You taking over someday.

Oh.

Ew.

You disappointed with
the way things turned out?

No.

Georgie's running the store,
I got a beautiful grandbaby,

someday Connor's gonna be
your problem.

Everything's swell.

You know you, uh,
didn't mention me on your list.

Oh, come on, you're doing great.

TV weather girl.

I always knew you were gonna do
something special.

Aw.

Although it took you so long
to get out of college,

I started to question it.

Aw.

But then you graduated
and got a job right away.

Thank you.

Till you got fired
and knocked up by a teenager.

Okay.

But you managed
to turn things around.

Yes, I did.

I mean you did call God a woman
on television,

and quit on the air.

Th-That...
That was embarrassing.

But, uh, overall,
you think I'm special

and you're proud of me.

Yeah, I guess so.

It was really sweet.

I mean,
he said he was proud of me.

Uh-huh.

Oh, oh, oh.

I rotated my first set of tires.

I mean, I thought for sure
I was gonna break a nail,

but I found some gloves
and that did the trick.

♪ La linda manita ♪

♪ Que tiene el bebé ♪

♪ Qué linda, qué bella ♪

♪ Que preciosa es. ♪

You sure it's all right
that I'm here?

Yeah, I talked to my mom.

- And it went okay?
- Oh, God, no.

Just try not to flash my dad.

Are you okay with everything?

You mean us?

I'm fine. You?

Yeah.

I'm happy.

We play music together,

we do other things together.

What's not to like?

I do like other things.

And we've already
played music, so...

One sec.

Okay, we're good.

Hey, why don't we do
other stuff with cars?

You know, engine stuff.

Well, we specialize.

Tires, brakes, suspensions,
et cetera.

Do you not know
how to do engine stuff?

I know how to do engine stuff.

It nothing to be
embarrassed about.

I mean, you wouldn't ask
a dermatologist

to do brain surgery.

- You would not.
- You know, 'cause

they don't know how.

Hey, what about, what about,
like, body work?

Dents and scratches?

I mean, how hard can that be?

I can take a hint!

Prove it!

I've been practicing
different hand claps.

Why?

Sometimes songs require
a special kind of clap.

Flat hand.

Cupped.

Lobster.

I invented that one
for people missing an arm.

Oh. Hello.

Mrs. McAllister,
I am so sorry about yesterday.

My fault, should have knocked.

Next time, we'll lock the door.

Cool, cool.

Well, I'm glad you two are...

whatever.

Just friends.

I didn't want to label it.

We should get back to practice.

What you practicing for?

A friend of mine hooked us up
with a few gigs.

Oh, maybe I'll come
check you out.

They're actually not in town.

Couple in Austin,
one in Lubbock,

and then we finish out
in Houston.

Where will you sleep?

The drummer has a van.

Three friends sleeping
in a van. Cool.

Five, actually.

And you're okay in a van
with four other guys?

Three of them are girls.

Oh, wow. Great.

Georgie, my son's a sl*t.

- Hello?
- Dude, I need a favor.

Gracias, Abuela.

Okay, inventory's updated.

Thanks.

Well, what are you doing here?

You giving the tire a bath?

I'm looking for air bubbles.

That's how you know
where the hole is.

Oh.

CeeCee likes to make
little fart bubbles in the tub.

She thinks it's hilarious.

Oh. There's the hole.

Oh, yeah. Look at that.

So, what's next?

Well, if it's on the side wall,
you need a new tire,

but this is on the tread,
so we can patch it.

Don't we make more money
selling new tires?

Yeah, but that's
a little dishonest.

Just a little?

I'm okay with that.

Hey, you know
what'd be really helpful?

You run and grab us lunch.

Are you trying to get rid of me?

Yeah.

Well, that's a little mean.

Just a little?
I'm okay with that.

Fine.

She's gonna bring me chili.

Hello?

Everybody decent?

It's just me.

Can we talk about
this road trip?

I was gonna tell you,
but I knew you'd be upset.

Of course I'm upset.

You and a bunch
of strangers in a van,

on the road, away from home?

- I'll be fine.
- You don't know that.

What if the van breaks down,
what if you get robbed,

what if you become
a drug addict?

Mom, stop.

Those Beatles started off
as clean-cut young men.

Next thing you know,
they're smoking pot

and thinking they're a walrus.

I'm not gonna do drugs.

Okay, maybe not you,
but what about your bandmates,

whom I have yet to meet?

It's not a playdate.

Connor, peer pressure is real.

You have very little experience
with any of this.

How else do you expect me
to get experience?

Just ask me.

That's what moms are for.

I'm going. Deal with it.

Fine.

Don't expect me
to come to the rescue

- when something horrible happens.
- I won't.

And I'm still giving you money
in case of emergency!

Thank you!

- I'm back.
- In here.

Oh, my God. What happened?

Eh, my back went out.

- Here. Let me help you up.
- No, no, no!

Don't-don't, don't touch me.

Okay, well,
what do you want me to do?

I just need to lay here
until it stops spasming.

Hello?

Uh, coming!

Can I have my lunch?

Really?

I'm hungry.

Hi, how can I help you?

I'm here for my car. The Subaru?

Yeah, take a seat.
I'm gonna go check.

Hey, uh, that guy's here
to pick this one up.

Did you finish it?

Almost.
I didn't get the tire back on.

Just tell him
to come back tomorrow.

Well, I can change a tire.

You sure?

Yeah. I had a very good teacher.

You're right, you got this.

Yes.

Be with you in a minute!

Oh, hey, uh, keep in mind,

if you do it wrong, the tire
will come off at highway speeds

and he will likely die.

- Dad.
- You got this.

Man. Die Hard's the best.

I do love an action hero
who's losing his hair.

Should we call the store
and check in?

Probably.

Although, Mr. McAllister did run
the place for 30 years.

And Mandy's worked there before.
She knows what she's doing.

It would almost be insulting
to check on them.

So, Die Hard 2?

Yippee ki-yay.

He has even less hair
in this one.

Thank you. Come again.

Okay. What's next?

I guess I could talk you
through an oil change.

I am your student. Teach me.

- Jim?
- Yeah.

You got to talk to your son,
'cause he plans on gallivanting

around Texas in a sex van.

Tragedy on Highway 59.

A Subaru lost a tire
at high speed,

flipped over, crashed into
a school bus and exploded.

The death toll is still rising

as more and more bodies
are found.

No!