06x09 - What a Waste of Cake

[bunniefuu]

- ♪ MTV ♪

- You did it!

Vinny can actually go to, like, the finals.

Like, he is getting through to every single week.

This is crazy.

To Vin!

- I'ma be out in NOLA.

I got a show out here, and I was trying

to get the g*ng together.

- Have you ever been to New Orleans?

- NOLA. NOLA.

- Mike is tweeting bad stuff about me, calling me a felon,

saying I should have got arrested.

Like, are you f*cking kidding me?

- I knew that she was going to try to betray me,

so I screenshotted the receipts.

- Her plan was you to attack her on Twitter?

♪ ♪

[upbeat music]

- Yeah, buddy!

- Party's here!

- The Situation is under construction.

- We're so classy now.

- On the seventh day, it'll be lit.

- Get the frig out of here, you crazy!

- Um, hello?

♪ ♪

[dramatic music]

- Vinny, I love you, brother.

I truly do.

You embody what the show is all about, my man.

But I'm going to have to save Trevor and Emma.

- I have to save...

- Trevor and Emma.

- The couple I'm going to save is Trevor and Emma.

- Marianne votes to save Trevor and Emma.

Amazing.

- That's it.

- Yeah, it's definitely been a ride.

I just got eliminated from "Dancing With the Stars."

I'm a little relieved, I'm not going to lie,

because the competition was just

getting super crazy for me.

- You were amazing tonight, Vin.

- Now I get to be normal.

I'm very happy with the progress that I made.

Mike got to four weeks on "Dancing With the Stars,"

and Nicole got to week eight, but I got to week nine.

[laughs]

- Love you. - Bye. Love you.

- All right, see you soon. Bye.

[upbeat jazzy music]

♪ ♪

- The last time I was on Bourbon Street,

I was here for my bachelorette party.

- It's your bachelorette.

- Whoo!

- Reverse cowgirl, b*tches.

And I'm divorced now.

It's so f*cking weird.

All righty.

Thank you, sir.

It's nice in here.

It smells really nice in here.

Thank you.

.

Wait.

I'm lost.

Where the f*ck is the room?

[jazzy music]

Oh, here.

- A van.

- Goodbye, airport.

- And we're off.

[upbeat rock music]

Oh, let me go try that way.

The f*cking hotel is so big, I go around,

and around, and around, and there's still more.

There's still more wings.

And I was like, wait, what's my room number again?

.

All right, it's not this one.

Where is it?

Wow.

I'm an as*h*le.

♪ ♪

- We're in NOLA.

Let the fist-pumping begin.

I am so excited to be here.

But apparently Angelina is upset about a tweet.

- Mike took it upon himself, out of nowhere, tweeting

bad stuff about me, calling me a felon,

saying I should have got arrested.

Like, are you f*cking kidding me?

- This whole thing is not warranted.

If there's any type of arguments, I'm out.

We had a previous agreement,

and this was her plan all along.

I don't think I'm in the wrong here.

You can't argue with me.

I'm a girl dad to be.

- Hello?

What's in here?

Oh, my f*cking sh*t.

What the f*ck is this?

Creepy as f*ck.

I'm here with my new boyfriend.

I don't know his name.

[bell dings]

He's very dusty, though.

f*cking God, I can't believe I'm here.

Hopefully I won't fight with anyone,

or nobody's going to come for me,

because I'm not in the f*cking mood.

People like you, Mike The Situation.

- Oh, my god, honey, I forgot my taser.

- All right, let me wander around a little bit more.

Where is everybody else?

This is a huge.

Hello, Bourbon Street!

Show me your t*ts.

Hey, are you drunk?

Last time in New Orleans, it was easy as f*ck.

Show your t*tties!

Oh, yeah, girl!

Whoo!

Show me your t*ts! Show me your t*ts!

What's going on today?

I'm going to go to the bar. f*ck this.

Where the f*ck are we going?

- I think we're here, honey. - We made it.

Let's do this.

Thank you.

- Room for The Situations, please.

Another family vacation.

The whole g*ng is in tow.

What could go wrong?

[upbeat music]

- ♪ Oh, I came here for the win ♪

♪ Oh ♪

- Guys, we're getting to the hotel.

OK, here we go, guys.

Buckner, B-U-C-K-N-E-R.

I'm just looking forward to partying with my roomies

and having family day.

Isn't it so pretty in here, CJ?

But, of course, we have this Angelina and Mike drama.

Oh, look at the Buckners.

Is it really that f*cking serious?

- You give the beads to people who are having a good time.

- No, no.

I want to explore. - All right.

Let's go. The governor--

- Let's see the governors. - This is the governor suite.

- Oh.

- Oh, this is elevated.

- This is cute.

- This is like old country.

Oh, my gosh.

- He's a little bit creepy. - Is that a court jester?

The Situations have arrived first.

Let the fist-pumping begin.

- Can you get me drunk?

I think I want a shot.

- My God.

Thank you.

Damn, it's so big. Ooh!

- All right, one more.

[rock music]

♪ ♪

- All right, back in New Orleans.

Calling my man Mike.

- Yo, what's up, my guy?

- Yo, what's up, my dude? I just touched down.

Where you at?

- The governor's suite, actually.

- Yo, do you know if they ended up--

because it was supposed to put a dance room for Vinny

at the hotel.

I guess we're not going to need it now.

- No, no, we're not going to need it.

- So me and Mike set up a dance studio just in case Vinny

made it through to semi-finals,

because he needed a place to practice.

- Yes, the room needs to be totally empty so that

he can practice his stuff.

I think me and you got to check it out to see

what we're going to do with it.

- I'm almost there, so I'm going to see you in a bit.

- All right. Bye.

- There's a dance studio for Vinny?

- We had set this up for Vincent.

We have all these positive quotes on here.

Between the dancing studio and the Twitter beef,

I don't know if we're going to be starting off

this trip on a positive note.

[upbeat music]

- Mike The Situation, like,

he's always kind of come for me.

Like, grow the f*ck up already.

Like, I will f*cking come for you.

I'm going to f*cking go right back at him.

Alex, thank God that you're here

because I would be talking to myself.

[music winds down, stops]

- Thank you.

Lit.

- What's up, man?

I love Bourbon Street this time of year.

- Yes, Pauly D.

Can we make sure Mike The Situation's card

is down for incidentals?

- Here we are.

Lit.

So cool.

New Orleans, we are back.

Yeah, we're doing it again out here.

And I don't know who this guy is, man,

but he's kind of a vibe.

All right, let's check this place out.

The governor's suite.

- Yo. - Oh.

- What up, Mike?

- How's it going?

- Hi. - How are you?

- Is that a boy or a girl?

- Oh, we can't-- - I almost got her.

I almost got her. - Don't do it.

Don't do it. Don't do it, honey.

- Pretty sure everybody knows.

- Is it more of this color?

- It's funny you're wearing that color.

- Tell us if it's a boy or a girl.

- It's just different this time.

- So it's a girl.

- We will do a gender reveal.

- How are you going to do the reveal?

Do you have an idea? - We have no idea.

- Last time, he ran his whole head through the wall.

- Ah!

- Ahh! - Oh!

- We need a medic.

- We got a little bit of a situation, though.

We got to figure out something to do with this dance studio.

- Now that he's eliminated, it changes everything.

Let's go check it out. - Yeah, let's check it out.

- Myself and Pauly have to pivot

and come up with a new plan.

When you walk in here, you're going to see.

It kind of reminds you of something

when you walk in here.

- Oh, wow. Oh, my goodness.

- Right?

- This is, like, exactly the same as the wedding

dance rehearsal. - Yep.

Remember?

- , , , , , .

- Now we gotta pivot. - Now we gotta pivot.

- Go, girl. Get started.

Whoo!

- I'm going to another bar.

Mommy and Daddy are going to find the roommates.

[cheering]

Hello?

- Deener, right here. Hi, Chris.

What's up, guys?

- Hi.

- f*cking get laid, m*therf*cker!

- Here it is, the governor's suite.

- Very NOLA.

- Confessional over there, guys.

- Oh, my God.

I'm afraid.

Is someone in it?

OK, there's no one in it.

Buckners arrived.

Now it's time for Mommy and Daddy to have some fun.

I really thought someone was in this,

and they were, like, pranking me,

and this thing was going to like--

- You guys hungry?

- Yeah.

- French fries, chicken tendies.

- Don't mind if I do.

- All right, so what's operation help Vinny

feel good about this elimination?

Judges were really hard on him.

- It made me so sad.

- When is this dude getting here?

- Should be here by now.

- Hey, Ma.

I made it to New Orleans.

I don't have to dance today.

I don't have to rehearse.

I think it'll be like a good distraction

to just be around like stupid, petty Angelina drama.

[phone ringing]

- Guys, Angelina's FaceTiming me.

Where are you?

- Some bar.

I didn't know you guys were here.

You want me to come back to the hotel?

- Yes.

- Bye.

- This could be a recipe for disaster

because once Angelina takes down a couple of shots

and a couple of drinks...

- We all know she likes to come in hot.

- God.

Hi. Nice to meet you.

Angelina.

Angelina. Nice to meet you.

- You watch that?

- Oh, my God.

- Can I give you a hug for that?

- I love that you said that about me.

Not only am I the Kim Kardashian of Staten Island,

but now I'm the Kim Kardashian of New Orleans too.

- Can I come in your group?

- Yes. - Yeah.

- Not really come, but you know what I mean?

[laughter] - Yes, I get what you mean.

- Where is she?

- I don't know.

- Off with their heads.

I can't hold my composure in when it comes to Mike.

f*ck with a queen, off with their heads.

sh*t-faced Angelina, drunk as f*ck.

Here I go.

Off with your heads?

No, it's not you.

- Here comes Hurricane Angeliners.

- Hi.

- What's up? - Hi, guys.

[sighs]

- We had a conversation.

- Oh, my God.

Here we go.

I don't feel like dealing with this bullshit tonight.

I am on No Nut November.

[laughter] - Oh.

- You're going a whole month?

- We'll see if we can fix that tonight.

- Hi. - How are you?

- The last couple of years, I almost lost everything.

- Miami, here you come.

- Let's go.

- I hate this guy.

Oh, stop it!

- What a waste of cake.

What a waste of cake.

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

- Hi.

- Hello.

Oh, hello.

- Hey.

What's up, Angeliners?

- [sighs]

- How long have you been here for?

- A long time.

- Do you want a wine?

- Good to see you too, Ange.

Thanks for coming.

- How long have you been out for, all day?

- All day.

- Oh, wow. - I'm f*cking shot,

m*therf*ckers.

Wait, m*therf*ckers.

I have to pee.

When I see Mike, I'm like just full-on pissed off.

- Holy F-bombs.

She got a mouth like a truck driver.

- But right now, I'm like, all right, nope.

Let's get it out of my mind.

I just want to have a fun time.

Good to see you.

- How's everything?

- Wait, so you went to the bar by yourself?

- Yeah.

- I thought Nicole was with you.

- Yeah. - No.

- All right, let me call her.

- Clean up. Clean up.

Excuse me, bro.

[phone ringing]

- Hey, Meatball.

- Hey.

Where are you?

- I'm home, with the kids.

We're playing in the playroom.

- Wait, why are you not here?

- We're in New Orleans.

- Oh, my God, it's the th.

I am such an as*h*le.

- So you're still in Jersey?

- Whoopsies.

I'm going to have to grab something in the morning.

- OK.

- I'm sorry.

Now I have FOMO, and I'm upset.

I'll be there ASAP.

- Love you. Bye.

- You guys, I missed my flight.

- Where's the rest of the g*ng? - I don't know.

- Sam get here yet? - Sam. [laughs]

- ♪ You know I got it, what you want ♪

♪ What you need, I need a profit ♪

- Yes.

- Guadagnino.

G-U-A-D-A-G-N-I-N-O.

- Where's Vinny?

- Vinny should be here any second.

- Nice.

- How are we playing his birthday?

Are we going to go into it, like, we're throwing you

a big birthday, or are we going to go into it like,

pretend we forgot about his birthday?

- Pretend we forgot about it.

- Same.

I actually love that Vinny's birthday is going to happen

when we're on the trip because he goes on and on about how

we always don't celebrate him.

- I've been on "Jersey Shore" for like years now

and never had a party.

My birthday's next week.

But you know, we need another party for Mike, though.

- Someone seems a little salty.

- Guys, my birthday's in three days.

- Oh, my God, with your birthday.

- We have to do something big for Vinny on this NOLA trip.

How about I, like, act like I'm doing, like, a corny plan.

- Something that he wouldn't want to do.

- Oh, wait, like they do the masquerade dances.

- Something like that.

- Oh, that could be--

oh, wait, I don't know if we should bring up dances.

- You can't say the word dance.

- Yeah, no.

- Yeah, it's off limits right now.

Wait, she's calling him.

- No.

- Hello?

- Vinny?

- Yo.

- I'm here with Mike, Lawrence, Chris, Deena, and Angeliner.

There is no Jenni, and Nicole got on the wrong flight.

So where are you? - I'm in my room.

- You're here? - Yeah.

- All right, well, come to the suite.

- All right. - All right.

Bye. - Bye.

- He sounds sad.

- No one say the word dance until he does.

[knocking] - Come in.

- Oh, sh**t.

- Is it funfetti?

- I forgot.

Well, my friend, don't we feel stupid?

I ordered him some celebratory balloons

and a nice cake congratulating him

on making it to the semifinals.

We had to pivot.

Can we change this to something else?

- Pauly just called him right now.

He's about to walk in.

[dramatic music]

We got to lock the door, at least.

- What if we just... - Wait, wait, time-out.

- Scratch this out.

- Change it to success. - Congrats on the success.

There you go.

- He's about to come in right now.

[music winds down, stops]

- You're making it worse.

- I'm not making it worse.

- Put flowers on it. Yeah.

Can I eat that part?

Maybe I can eat that part.

- Time-out.

Time-out.

I think got this.

- Yo. - Hold on.

Hello?

- Open the door.

It's the police.

- Just say, congrats on your success.

Congrats on your success.

- Hi.

- Hi, Vin. Congrats.

[cheering] - What's up?

- Congrats on doing so well!

We're so proud of you!

- My cake says congrats.

Something is scratched out.

Probably said, congrats on getting to the semifinals.

But it's the thought that counts.

I got the best fam.

Angelina is probably throwing this at someone later.

- Did you miss our faces? Did you miss--

- Yeah, I did. - Yeah, you did.

Did you miss my vag*na lips?

- Oh, damn.

- Oh, my God.

- Honestly, after, like, the drama

that I've been through these last couple of months--

- It's like a cakewalk. - This is, like, amazing.

[laughter]

- You're like, yes, Angelina!

- So what's the plan for tonight?

Anybody know?

- It was supposed to be Vinny's celebratory party,

but now he didn't make it, so--

- So like, you think we should show this guy?

- We've got something to show you.

- Oh.

The dance studio.

- Exactly.

This was set up for you to practice with Coco.

- It was actually a nice gesture

that, you know, my roommates set up this dance

studio in case I was going to have to rehearse

my dances with Coco.

This would have been very challenging to learn

two dances... - That's what I said.

- In this space, right here.

But I'm actually happy as hell that

I don't have to use this dance studio.

- You have to show us how to do some moves,

like actual, like, cha, cha, cha.

- I know a ton of moves now.

This is called a stationary.

We're going to breathe in, go--

- [blows raspberry] - And then go on--

[laughter] - I hate you.

- Hey, hey.

- , , .

There we go.

- Hey!

- Do--someone else go next.

It's hard.

- Bend your knees a little bit.

Open your legs a little bit.

OK, now open your mouth.

[laughter]

- Malleable.

- There you go. - There you go!

Yay!

[cheering]

- Congratulations.

You're dancing without the stars.

[laughter]

[dance music]

- ♪ I'm all in the front now ♪

♪ No playing the background ♪

♪ ♪

- [speaking indistinctly]

If you see Vinny, you should give him a hug

and say congratulations.

- Holy Christ.

- I'm so curious to see how Angelina and Mike have been.

Maybe they're, like, fist fighting.

I have no idea.

- Here we are, babe.

- Is anybody hungry?

- Yes, yes we are. - Yes, yes.

- We should all go get ready because I

set us up with some reservations for something

very authentic.

You're going to like it. - Oh.

- Let's go get ready, guys. - Let's go get ready.

- ♪ Everybody step here, step like this ♪

[indistinct singing]

♪ ♪

- Oh, guys, look.

♪ ♪

Monkey? Oh, it matches your shirt.

- I'm starving. - Me too.

- The real question is, where are we going tonight?

- No idea.

- Hey, are you guys good if Mommy goes?

- Yes.

- I'm going to walk you out to your sitter.

- He did say it was authentic.

We're going to see, like, gator bites, alligator.

- Oh, damn.

- Creole. - Hi.

- Hi.

- Look, they're here.

- We are going to dinner.

- Fried shrimp.

The Po Boy.

You know, all the finest that this particular geographic

region has to offer.

- Hello.

- Just like old times.

I'm the first one ready.

I'm the one that takes minutes to do my hair.

You can relate to me, my dude.

Anyway, my hair's on point.

Literally.

Yo, if it ain't the dancing queen himself.

Yo.

- Hey.

Yo, we starving, man.

- Yeah, me too.

- We just rolled in, man.

- You look great.

- Oh, thanks.

- Good to see you.

- Team Wow in the building.

- Hello, beautiful.

- What's up, man? - How you been?

- What's going on?

- Good to see you.

- Who is it? - It's Ange.

- Hi.

- Oh, it's Angeliners.

- Do you have wine for me? - We do.

- Here.

There's mad sh*t going on right now.

- What do you mean there's mad sh*t?

- Hold on.

- Angelina's been drinking all day,

and I already know this is not going to end well.

- Mike has been coming at me, obviously, you guys know,

on Twitter.

He said I should have been a felon.

I thought I was going to have to f*cking go ham.

I'll admit it.

Mike and I had an agreement

to go at each other on Twitter.

But calling me a felon?

You hit below the belt really hard, Mike.

- I knew you were going to have to go ham.

- I thought I was going to go Karate Kid

on some m*therf*cker.

- If you're that upset, then there is going

to have to be a discussion.

- f*ck yeah, I will.

- But like, just you two.

- I will.

- Where's Miss Deena?

- Oh, we were all just getting ready for dinner.

- Oh, yeah, and Angelina. - Yeah.

- Angelina been drinking all day.

She dropped the F-b*mb times before she made it

from the door to the couch. - Yeah, yeah.

She's a little like--

- She happy? - I don't know.

- Oh, my God.

I will f*cking flip the f*ck out.

- Angelina clearly isn't changing her tune.

I'm ready to get out of this f*cking hotel

and see New Orleans.

You know, she's been drinking all day.

So I'm starving.

Let's go to dinner, and hopefully

this will be a tomorrow problem.

- Hey, what's up, b*tches?

- Hello.

- Hey! - Hi.

- Hi, beautiful.

- Hi.

- All right, now that I get everybody here, let's go.

all: First night in NOLA!

- Cheers, b*tches.

- Yeah, Vin.

- Oh, my God.

- You guys are going to like what I got in store

for you tonight.

- I can't see where we're going.

- I know.

I know.

- It's getting weird back here.

- Angelina's playing with Mike's n*pples.

- You're surprisingly in good energies these days.

- No.

- I--no?

Why is the answer no?

- Well, it was like the Twitter thing.

And like recently, I was like, what the f*ck is going on?

Like--

- Oh, God, I'm going to need a lot of wine for this sh*t.

- But like, we had a conversation--

- I heard that that was a thing.

- We had a conversation.

- Oh, my God.

Here we go.

- I don't feel like dealing with this bullshit tonight.

- One of the fans said it was a felony.

And I'm like, no way.

And I checked it, and it was.

- This is awkward.

- So I just threw it out there.

And that's how that happened.

- At Deena's house, I was ready to go hard for Angelina.

- Mike took it upon himself to insert himself,

out of nowhere, tweeting bad stuff about me.

- But then Mike checked me with those texts.

- Says right here, "Let's tweet crazy."

I said, "If I say anything you don't like,

just text me, and I'll delete it."

There's an agreement in place.

- All I know is, I don't want to get involved.

- And then you came out with some f*cking really sensitive

words that shouldn't be said.

- Frankly, I never said--

- Sensitive words that shouldn't have been said.

- Angelina and Mike take this time in this car ride

to hash out their beef.

- And then there was probably a miscommunication about

the arrangement that we had.

- What the actual f*cking--

- Upgrade.

- There's a time and place, and that is not now.

- You can't flip the table in advance.

You got to wait till the dinner.

[upbeat music]

- Listen. Listen. Listen.

Listen. - Be positive.

- No, I'm being positive.

- Mike, that's the beignet place.

- Oh, my God, the beignet place.

I love that place.

- Are we done?

Are we just moving on then?

- No.

I do understand what you're saying.

- You see what he's doing?

- You're saying that there was an argument that

had nothing to do with us.

- I'm just airing everything out to Mike.

And I feel like Mike always tries to discredit

my feelings all the time.

- I do. I do. I do. - You took

the low-hanging fruit. - And I took it

because it was an opportunity--

- The low-hanging fruit, like a f*cking

g*dd*mn banana. - Yes.

- He's just trying to just brush it off

like it's not a big deal,

but I know it's a big deal.

- Let's not dismiss her feelings.

- No. - She was very offended.

- I was. - Yes.

- Very upset.

I explained that we can't take away her feelings.

- Yes.

I feel that it's not over.

I feel that there's something brewing.

This is like the calm before the storm.

- Yo, let's roll out for some authentic NOLA cuisine.

- All right, we're here.

- Yeah, so I set up something real nice out here in NOLA,

a nice, authentic meal for night one.

Follow me.

- Authentic dinner.

It's probably gator bites, frog legs, you know,

some shrimp, a little bit of gumbo.

Holy sh*t.

The Italian Barrel?

- This is authentic NOLA food, right here.

- I thought we were getting oysters.

- We are. Follow me.

- The last time I came to New Orleans, I couldn't eat.

- Fried gator bites?

- We have raw oysters.

- Oh, Pauly loves these.

- Nasty.

Hey, you guys remember how much of a hard time

I had last time we came to NOLA?

I couldn't eat because it's all seafood.

I had to take it into my own hands.

So I got you guys some Italian.

Pauly D. needs to eat.

- You can't go wrong with Italian.

- That's right.

- Guys, I have a little announcement.

- Oh, no.

- I am on day eight of No Nut November.

- Oh. [laughter]

- Oh, we have to see if we can fix that tonight.

- Nothing.

I haven't done anything.

I heard somewhere that, like, dance competitors

didn't have sex before they would compete.

And I got eliminated, but I still wanted to, like,

maybe finish up No Nut November.

- You're going a whole month? - I'm trying.

I'm trying. - Good for you.

- Mind over matter.

- Yeah.

- f*cking wacko.

- I don't need to know when you nut and when you don't nut,

nor do I care.

Mm-mm.

- Cheers to no nuts. - Cheers to no nuts.

Salut.

- No, Vinny's got no shot.

He's definitely not going to finish that.

- All right, let's talk about flat Earth again.

- Mike, do you still believe in flat Earth?

- No, but I think there may be time travelers.

- I do believe that, straight up.

I seriously do.

- I do think that there are time travelers.

- Time travelers. I really do.

- Oh, I do. I do.

Simpsons.

- Yeah, that's a great example.

- How the f*ck does that--

- They predict everything.

You can't tell me they don't.

- Am I putting an aluminum foil on my head?

No, I wouldn't say I'm that far of a conspiracy theorist.

But I believe in some stuff.

[bell dings]

- Well, I predicted Angelina's divorce

the day she got married.

- We all did that, girlfriend.

- He said that.

- When she touches Vinny's d*ck

on the day of the wedding, I knew they were doomed.

- I just fell.

I just fell into your D. I didn't mean it.

- There you go. Whoa.

Whoa, she just grabbed my d*ck!

- No, she did not. - Ahh!

- Angelina, why did you pick your boyfriend

that has the same name as Vinny?

Same city and everything.

- I didn't try that sh*t.

It just happened.

- Yeah, but like, some people have a type,

and your type is Vinny.

- He's very different from you.

- Oh, Vin, she said that with passion.

- Two totally different people.

Unfortunately, have the same name,

and from the same f*cking town, and have the same birthday,

and their mothers have the same birthday as well.

Yeah, they're not the same person, though.

[laughs]

- Are we ever going to meet him?

- She's always liked douchebags.

- [laughs]

- Oh, that was a heckle, like a witch.

Angelina didn't miss her flight because

she took a broomstick to get here.

[laughter]

- If I would have said that, she would have

punched me in the face. - I know.

Threw the water on you.

- I've made that joke , times.

- f*ck off, you as*h*le.

- Angelina, you should do No Swear November.

- Yeah.

- I cannot last--

- Let's get a swear jar.

- sh*t ba*ls. I'm so sorry.

- Watch your mouth.

- We'll be rich.

[laughter]

- ♪ I ain't shook the city in a minute ♪

♪ Been a long time, wine time ♪

♪ Pop out with my biddies, yeah, it's prime time ♪

♪ Busting through the seams, fly me overseas ♪

- All right, since you guys know me so well,

what am I going to order?

- Chicken parmesan.

- Oh, boy.

- I am going to just get a bottle of wine, or--

- Like a whole bottle?

- Oy vey.

- No matter where we go, we always find the Italian.

- Ooh, wow. Thank you.

- Look at that.

- Thank you so much.

- Mm, that's good.

- Vinny's eating bread. Vinny's eating bread.

- Yay!

- I finished Chippendales, and that sh*t, I'm on vacation.

- This place is good.

- It really is.

- The Italian's really good,

like some of the pasta and such.

- Oh, my God.

- I'm a critic too.

We've got to go back to Italy.

- Can I please go with you guys?

Because I've never been there. - I didn't appreciate it.

- I'd love that.

- I was just gonna say that. I was like, I wanna go back.

I feel like we would appreciate it more now.

We went through a lot of sh*t.

- We've been through a lot together.

- A lot of d*ck.

A lot happened in Italy.

[doorbell rings]

- Hi. - Hey, Cynthia.

How are you? - How are you?

- I'm good. How are you?

- Are you ready? - Yeah, I am.

You know, I think I feel like I needed a change of scenery

and a change of just pace in my life.

So I decided to move from LA to Miami.

And I opened up a new business.

It's going to be a sneaker store called Sneaker Clinic.

You know, it's just something that I've always been into,

and it's a passion of mine.

- And do you want to leave everything in the house?

You want to sell it furnished?

- Let me find out what I'm going

to move into when I get there, because I'm looking at houses.

I'm looking at condos. - OK.

- The last couple of years, I was in a bad situation.

I almost lost everything that I built.

- Miami, here you come, right?

- Let's go.

I almost lost my daughter, and I was in treatment

for eight or nine months, but it helped me grow,

and it made me a stronger person.

Depression is something that I suffer with,

and I think I finally realized, like, I need help.

- When are you looking to fly in?

- As soon as possible.

I'm going to miss the neighborhood, though.

I love it around here. - I know.

- It's so quiet.

Now I have full custody of my daughter.

- Daddy!

- Yes.

- Yeah, help me pack your toys.

- OK, go ahead. Pack it.

It's a lot of hard work, but she keeps me balanced.

She calms my world down.

You know, I didn't have the perfect situation

with her mother, but she turned out perfect.

You know, she's so sweet and polite.

It's like, are you mine?

- I've known you, what, four years now?

Almost five.

- Yeah, almost five.

- When you decided that you just

wanted to get into a better headspace,

and you just wanted to be yourself,

now everything's free, clear, out of the way,

and you're just ready to be Ron again.

- It's been a crazy, you know, five years.

- I got to get mama bear home.

Are you guys doing anything tonight?

- We're going to go to a bar, I feel.

- Dirty stay-outs out, dirty stay-ins in.

- Thank you so much for everything.

- Thank you.

- All right, dirty stay-outs, have fun.

- You two are nuts.

I'm the only normal person in this group.

- A little bit tired.

- A b*tch is tired.

Obviously, I am not going to partake

in the dirty stay-out part.

I will be sleeping.

- The food was amazing.

- I'm in a food coma, for sure.

- Do it!

- ♪ Work to the beat, to the beat ♪

♪ Got to work to the beat ♪

♪ Independent woman on your own, huh ♪

♪ You don't need a man but he still blow your phone up ♪

♪ Uh, boss type ♪

- I'm embarrassed.

- ♪ We can make some mo' bucks, yeah ♪

- I'm very proud of you and Angelina

in the back of the van. - You know what, it was--

- I think it was--

- It was a really mature conversation.

I--it was very unexpected.

I just hope that she remembers how good of a conversation

we were having.

- Over the past years,

a lot of the exchanges between me and her

have been super fiery.

- Get out of my face.

- You dirty little hamster.

- You look like Popeye on crack, you big jerkoff.

- Popeye on crack. Oh, my God.

- I try to be all nice to everybody

in this [...] house.

- You're a [...] loser.

- But it's my mess.

- It always is your mess.

- You guys got history.

- Yeah, we got a little bit of history.

Your life is a f*cking dumpster fire.

You know, at the end of the day,

you know, old Sitch is still in there, and he's like...

I got the receipts, kid.

f*ck around...

- You're going to find out. - You're going to find out.

You know what I'm saying?

So if you want the smoke, free smoke.

- And talk like normal people, not like assholes.

- Bourbon Street.

Get it, girl.

Come on, girl.

- Hey, Ange, can you move this guy out?

No! Stop it!

- What a waste of cake.

What a waste of cake.

- ♪ When we swagger onto the scene ♪

- Let's go to your room.

I got to talk to you about something.

- Yeah?

- So this guy wants to do this gender reveal out here, right?

- Yeah.

I thought he was, like, planning it or something.

- Right, but he's not, so we got to take the reins on this.

- OK.

- But do you remember he said he wanted

to jump out of a plane? He wanted to do it real big.

- I would think about jumping out of a plane.

- Why don't we do that?

- If we do this, though, and plan this,

you can't tell him, because he's going to tell Lauren,

and Lauren's not going to let him do it.

- Right.

- I'm more scared of Lauren and what

her reaction is going to be.

Lauren has Mike on lock.

- Mike, you need to get in here.

Put all this in my bag.

We have to pick our wedding song.

Honey, can you just get him out?

- If she finds out about this, it's not going to work.

You have to almost, like, take him away from Lauren,

get him on the plane, and then tell him.

- Yeah.

- We'll plan a whole other thing,

but really, we'll take him to jump out of a plane.

- Yes, and reveal the gender of his second baby.

- We all know it's a girl, but I still want to see

Mike jump out of a plane.

- Operation Distract Mike.

- Lit.

- I love this song.

- sh*t. Wait.

Let's make sure my phone--

I have it.

Cool. Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

Oh, sh*t.

- You want some more?

- No.

Let's go.

I'm going to probably bust my a*s right now.

- Oh, my God.

- This way, b*tch.

- Guys, this way. - My ba*ls.

- Just heads up.

- Guys, I'm going to-- - Ange.

- I'm going to show my ba*ls right now.

OK, we're here.

Dirty stay-outs.

Let's do it.

I hate this f*cking guy.

f*cking idiots.

I hate this guy.

He's f*cking freaky.

- Damn.

- I don't like him.

Hey, Ange, can you move this guy out?

No, move him out.

Not that--no, stop it.

- Oh!

What a waste of cake. What a waste of cake.

- Now I have to f*cking do this.

- OK, uh--

- What a waste of cake.

What a waste of cake. What a waste of cake.

- All right, so how are we supposed to--

we can't keep it here? I'm not going to keep it--

- [vocalizing] I didn't do it.

- Who do you think you are, Steve Aoki?

- Ooh. - No.

Please stop.

- I'm glad you think it's funny.

- What a waste of cake.

- This is not what I should be doing.

She's fricking making a mess of a room.

I don't like that. - Oh, sh*t.

- Like, you should clean this up.

I'm not cleaning this up.

- I didn't--[laughs]

- Chris, let's go.

- What a waste of cake. - Why'd you spill it?

- We're going to bed. - I have to go to bed too.

- No.

Who's supposed to clean that up now?

- My as*h*le.

- Oh.

That's not nice.

- We had a really great night, but Angelina

is all over the place.

I just had enough.

- What a fun night, dirty stay-outs.

- I think it's time for bed.

- Goodnight, guys. - Goodnight.

- Goodnight, Ange. - Love you.

- Wait, I think I'm on the same floor.

- I need to f*cking sleep.

- Really?

Shut the f*ck up, Ange, 'cause our kids are sleeping.

- I love you guys, but like, I understand.

Where's my m*therf*cking room?

I have to pee.

Where is it?

I thought it was the other way, but it's not.

- Come on, Chris. Get it.

- What do you want me to do if the key don't work?

- Just--

- This is our key.

It doesn't work.

- I gotta pee.

So annoying as f*ck.

Am I an as*h*le?

I'm going to pee my pants.

- Chris, maybe you're not putting it on right.

- The battery's dead in the handle.

I'll Pauly D. this sh*t.

I call hotel security, they're going to have to come.

- I have to pee.

Now we're talking, in the pool.

I have to pee.

- If we just came back here after dinner,

the battery would still be alive.

We'd be able to get in.

- Pool is closed.

You can't do that.

- This never happens when I do to the trip.

I'm just saying.

- Listen to this, though. [farting]

- Has it--oh, my God, Chris.

- I don't give a f*ck.

- Don't give a f*ck.

- It's creaking the floor.

This place is haunted.

[farting]

- All right, I just got to jump in.

- It's unhealthy to hold it, D.

- My husband is disgusting.

- This security guard is so sweet, such a gentleman,

like holding my hand.

You deserve a good woman.

Ma'am?

I get, f*ck you, as*h*le.

- I'm tired.

- Yeah, I'm tired, man.

I'm tired as hell.

- I had such a good night tonight.

- Good night. - I love you.

- [farting] - Gross.

- ♪ Woke up on the right side of the bed ♪

♪ Turned up, got the music in my head ♪

♪ Open the front door to see ♪

♪ They all grooving to this beat ♪

- Good morning. - Good morning.

- Oh, f*ck.

I feel like death.

Oh, what happened to my shoes?

What did I step in? - Cake.

- My goodness.

- Oh, I'm really happy because the kids

are already up and at the pool.

[splashing]

So Nicole's flying in today,

if she doesn't miss her flight again.

- ♪ I was born into royalty, and I'm here to stay ♪

- Bourbon Street.

Get it, girl.

Is that a prost*tute?

That's a prost*tute.

Thank you.

- You're welcome.

- Come on, girl.

So I'm finally in Noler.

I know I mixed the day up, but now I'm ready.

Where am I at?

Ma'am? Is this the right way?

Oh, my God. Is this the right way?

- [retching]

Ugh.

I woke up this morning

feeling like death.

[retching]

I don't feel good.

What the f*ck did I drink?

- ♪ I am invincible ♪

♪ Ain't no one stopping me ♪

♪ I live my vision because this is my prophecy ♪

♪ I am a king of the jungle, your highness ♪

♪ I swing from vine to vine in any climate ♪

♪ Beat on my chest, then I scream out my lungs ♪

♪ I am the beast that they don't want to hunt ♪

♪ Never believe I ♪ [music winds down, stops]

- f*ck. [whimpering]

- Last night was fun.

- Yeah, it was good food.

- I did not know they could do Italian like that.

- Yeah.

- I thought it was a nice dinner.

- Last night was good.

Angelina and Mike started having

that conversation in the car.

- That conversation in the back of the van,

though, was so weird.

- What did you think about the vibes?

I thought the vibes were great. - Oh, please.

- After my conversation with Angelina,

I'm feeling that she doesn't want the smoke.

And I wouldn't want it either,

if you knew the receipts that I got.

And I have the receipts here.

On September , : p.m.,

she said, "Let's tweet crazy."

- It sounds like a trap.

- I feel like they're going to have

to have another conversation.

- You're playing her game.

- I probably shouldn't have engaged

because I knew that she was going to come around the back

and betray me.

But Angelina has no leg to stand on right now.

You're playing victim in the story that you created.

You don't want this smoke. All right?

The toll in Jersey is to tell the truth,

and you've got lie-abetes.

In this particular situation, I just want to be heard.

- She's just always on the defense.

So like, even if the smallest thing happens, like,

instead of being like, OK,

rationalize it, and let's talk through it,

she's like, I'm going to f*ck this person up.

- Oh, my God.

- -.

This way.

I have to go up rooms?

I think I'm going the wrong way.

I'll handle it, honey.

I'll handle it, like I always do.

If she wants to fight, like, old Sitch is ready.

Remember, honey, if Angelina lunges at you,

just stop, drop, and roll.

- I just look really bad.

Why is this such a far walk?

-.

Could you just tell me where to go?

This is annoying.

- Yo, Godfather. I have to get what you want.

- This is your gender reveal.

- So you jumping out of the orange one or the white one?

- This is all under the direction

of Pauly DelVecchio.

- I'm going to f*cking k*ll you.

- My wife is going to flip out.

- They're in the air. - No.

- My wife's going to k*ll me.

- I will k*ll Mike. - She's going to start crying.

- No!

- Oh, my God.

- Wait a minute. [screaming]

- Let's go, let's go. - Oh, my God.