06x12 - Divorce Party

[bunniefuu]

- ♪ MTV ♪

- [screams]

- Say, "Go, Mommy, go."

- Oh, dang! - Oh!

[laughter] Oh!

- My vag*na!

- I can't take my breath.

- I stole her wedding dress.

We have to figure out Angelina's divorce party.

- Why did you bring her dress?

- We gotta burn it, b*tch.

[rock music]

- Hey! - Hey.

How you doin'?

- That's my man.

- I wonder if this guy's a chooch or if he's cool.

Every Vinny I know is a chooch.

- What is Mike gonna act like?

- Hi, how you doin'? Nice to meet you.

Yeah, yeah, Angelina was giving this guy a lap dance.

- [laughs] - Like, anybody talking

sh*t about my Vinny--there's gonna be a f*cking problem.

- The vibe out here is good.

[laughter]

[upbeat music]

- Yeah, buddy!

- Party's here!

- The Situation is under construction.

- We're so classy now.

- On the seventh day, it'll be lit.

- Get the frig out of here, you crazy!

- Um, hello?

♪ ♪

- Cha, cha.

[vocalizing]

- ♪ Never met anyone like you ♪

♪ It's true, ah ♪

- Divorce party, here we come.

both: Burning the dress--

- Wants a mansion.

both: Church. - Dinner.

- Oh, my God, what if it ends up like the speech?

- Hit me one more time with your hair.

- Oh, my God.

Please, no fighting in my room.

This is good vibes here.

- [laughs] - Oh, my God!

- And there's gonna be another Vinny in this house.

- He's gonna get nicknamed, not me, okay?

- Look at this.

- Looks cool. - [laughs]

- Tonight, all the roomies are meeting Vinny ..

Are you really doing that right now?

- I'm going to the gym, honey.

- Are you really doing that right now?

- What? - And my man

is coming to my divorce party.

[laughter]

- Why you laughin' at me?

Why do you keep laughing at me?

- These girls, I don't know

what the f*ck they have up their sleeves,

but I'm a little worried right now.

Do you think these guys are gonna look at your arms

and be like, "What in the actual f*ck?"

- This poor kid, he's just meeting everybody

for the first time.

[inhales] Oh, God.

This could be good, or this could be really bad.

Ready? - Yeah.

- Are we meetin' the dude here, or...?

- I don't know.

- Are you guys all dressed up? Look at me.

- Oh, sh*t.

- This is Vinny. - Hey, guys.

- Oh, sh*t. - How you's doin'?

- Oh, damn, that's the divorce party outfit?

- Yup. - How you doin'?

- Hey, Vin, I'm Vinny. Nice to meet you.

- [laughs] - How you doin'?

- What's up, man? - I wanna say I'm shocked,

but Angelina definitely has a type.

- Angelina, I never seen you smile like that.

- Basically, a cartoon character of a guy named Vinny

from Staten Island.

- Are you from Staten Island? - Yeah.

- What part? - New Dorp.

- I used to live in New Dorp.

- Yeah, what part were you from?

- I grew up on Bradley Avenue,

like, miles away from Angelina.

- Miles, miles, and miles, and miles away.

[laughter] We were neighbors.

We just never wanted to admit it.

- Awkward.

[playful music]

- Uh, I did, yeah.

- Whoa! all: Whoa!

- See what I did there? - Coincidentally!

- I know she moves quickly,

but I'm trying just, honestly,

get the timeline down, because she was just, like,

giving lap dances to me.

Whoa! - Whoa!

- Oh! - [laughs]

- DMin' every cornhole player in North Carolina.

- So I started private messaging them.

- Are you trying to bang all these guys?

- And now, like, she's, like, a happy couple with this guy.

- Tell us the story of when you guys first met.

[sharp dramatic tone]

- Did you slide in the DM?

- It was Instagram?

- Yeah, well, pretty much, pretty much.

- Yo, it could have been a dating app.

- So did you, like, start with, like, in the story,

or did you, like, say, "Hey"?

- It's like a buildup, yeah. - Like, in the story first.

- I think I did, right? - You like

and then she likes back? - Yeah, so pretty much,

I asked her out. I made reservations

at my friend's restaurant in the city,

picked her up, gotta take care of all the animals.

- He was cleaning up cat sh*t the first night.

- First night, so right into the fire.

- She put you to work. - And then from there,

you know, we've been inseparable.

all: Wow.

- I'm kind of confused,

because in the Carolinas,

Angeliners said she had feelings forourVinny.

- Do you like him? - I would date Vinny,

full-blown.

- Wow. - While she was dating

new Vinny.

- Not too bad, baby, but you got a special day.

- Thank you.

- How you doin'? Okay?

Good?

- I mean, this is a very weird web that we weave.

- You know, we had a good first night.

It was very nice. - That's cool.

- You missed a big part though.

- Yeah, well--you want me to go into the details?

- I don't know about that.

- Uh, the way she was dancing and grinding on me,

you know, I couldn't, uh,

I couldn't resist, you know what I mean?

[hip-hop music]

- Couldn't resist. - All right.

- You said I grinded on you so much that

I was like a stripper? - Oh, yeah, you were

bumping and grinding. - Oh, damn.

- Oh, watch out!

You're stepping on my d*ck, bro!

- Whoa! - Whoa!

- This is the worst... - Go, Ange!

- Oh! - New Vinny fell for Angelina's

bumping and grinding.

- Oh, my God.

This is, like, actually painful to watch.

- Oh!

- You know, it was good. It was a beautiful night.

- Right. - And he moved in the next day.

[laughter]

- I mean...

- Vinny's handling the boys and the questioning

%, like amazing, because he has nothing to hide.

He's a great guy.

He has a great job.

Can I tell you guys something?

- Sure, Ange. - His birthday is on Sunday.

- Oh, my God. - No, it's not.

- Stop. - My birthday's tomorrow.

- How--how--what are the f*cking odds of that?

For real? - How do you spell your name?

- V-I-N-N-Y.

- Hey, hey. - f*ck, me too.

[laughter]

- This is getting weird now.

They have the same birthday.

They're from the same place.

They have the same name.

They're both Italian,

and they both dated Angelina.

- Yeah, we should definitely have a party then.

- [laughs] - Hi.

- That's my wife. - Nice to meet you.

- Nice to meet you. Lauren.

- Tonight is, uh-- you are the...

- Crazy night. - The girl of the hour.

- What does your thing say?

- "Finally Divorced." - Ange.

Your energy with Vinny-- totally different.

- That's usually what happens.

- That's a good thing. - Yeah.

- Oh, this is kind of heavy.

God.

- What's that? - Divorce Squad.

- You can't be in the Divorce Squad.

- For Angeliner, not for us.

- Babe, I look pretty. Don't leave me.

- Yeah, you look great. I don't wanna carry this.

- I'm gonna wear it out. - Ooh.

k*lling off the bad juju--

bringing in positivity and love.

Tonight is a big night.

We're going to the cemetery.

We're burning the dress.

- Tonight should be a fun night.

- Ange has been through so much with Chris and her divorce

that she needs to get rid of all the energy

that's on her shoulders that she clearly still wears.

Ugh.

Hello? Help me.

This is f*cking heavy.

A lot of sh*t in there.

Hi, Vinny! - Hi!

- Hi, nice to meet you.

- You too. How you doin'?

You look very handsome. - Thank you.

- Okay, he's really, really tall.

He's a nice-looking guy,

and he looks sophisticated.

Wow, good job, Ange.

Tonight, we're gonna warn off all of the bad juju

for your new beautiful relationship with Vinny.

Everyone's gonna wear a sash to support Ange.

So we have "Miss Behaving."

- I'm not misbehaving. - Okay.

- I will. - Miss Behaving.

- Hi! - Mischievous.

- Hi! - Michael.

- Nice to meet you.

- Look at me, I'm "Miss Behaving."

- Bad influence.

- I'm not a bad influence.

- Oh, my goodness. It doesn't matter.

- Hot Momma. - Oh, thank you, momma.

- Shop Queen.

- Nope. - That's Vinny.

- Let's see if you're a party animal, Vin.

- All right, cool. Thank you.

- Mine's "Miss Behaving."

- This is Jenni. This is Zack.

This is Vinny. - Hi.

- Nice to meet you. How you doin'?

- That's Angelina's boyfriend! - He's Italian.

- Oh, yes, this is yours-- "Selfie Queen."

- Oh, wow. - You have to wear that one.

- I'm "Miss Behaving."

Salud! Happy divorce party!

[all cheer]

- Oh, I love it. We've come so far.

- All right, let's go. - You should see

them together. She's acting normal.

- He hasn't met Angelina yet then.

[laughter] - Well, yeah.

- He seems very normal and chill.

Why are you with Angelina?

He's met Angela. - Angela!

[laughter]

- ♪ B-A-D ♪

♪ You know what it stand for ♪

♪ Bad and drip from my head to my toes ♪

- Where are we goin'?

- All right, guys, I think we're almost here

to the spookies.

- Whoo! - My goodness!

- Come on, Ange!

[eerie music]

♪ ♪

- Oh, this is... - We're going

to a f*cking cemetery! - Nah.

- You know how many people are dead here?

- Nah. - All of 'em.

- Why am I at a cemetery right now?

What the hell's going on? What are we doing?

[sudden striking tone]

- What the f*ck? What the hell is this?

- Are you sh1tting me right now?

- I don't know how a divorce party

and a cemetery go together,

but if we're gonna, like, bury Angelina,

I'm here for it.

- Spooky!

- Come on!

- Everyone's dying to get in this place.

- Aw, ba-dum-bum. - Oh, my God.

But I'm not f*cking with ghosts, man.

- A cemetery? What the f*ck?

Yo, we're gonna have to say seven Hail Marys

and seven Our Fathers

once we get out of this car.

- You know what I'm afraid of?

Something attaching to me.

- These ghosts will hitch a ride back

to your hometown with you.

- It's a nice ceme-- it's a Catholic cemetery!

- Okay, okay.

♪ ♪

- What's going on? - Do you think dead people

need ChapStick? - Is this, like, a tour?

- It's a full moon.

♪ ♪

- Pauly.

[cackles]

- Oh, God.

- Shut your phone.

- Everyone, proceed.

- ♪ My blood runs cold ♪

- [vocalizing]

["The Devil You Know" by Blues Saraceno]

- Honestly, a cemetery is beautiful.

I go visit my dad at the cemetery every month,

basically.

Kay, Pauly, put that away.

- It's not me this time. - It is of you, you stupid.

- Oh, my God, do we have marshmallows?

- I love this so hard right now.

- Let's--we should do Rest in Peace

before we do anything.

- Okay. - Father, Son, Holy Spirit.

- Yes. - Rest in peace.

- Holy Spirit. Mwah.

- [eerie scream]

both: Pauly! - It's not me!

- Put your stuff away!

- [giggling]

- Put it away!

- So I am giving everyone a nice cloak.

- What the hell?

- A nice, cozy cloak.

- A--a f*cking--a cloak.

- It's nice. It'll keep you nice and warm.

- Pass me some of that holy water.

- Father, Son, Holy Spirit.

Rest in peace, everybody.

- Yo, Lauren, can you get a picture of me real quick?

[indistinct chatter]

- Yes.

This is like "Ghost Hunters."

- What, are we in a f*cking cult?

- sh*t.

I feel like I'm in the illuminati.

[laughs]

Wait, is this a cult where I get to bang everyone's wife?

- No. - The f*ck?

- What happened to No Nut November?

- That's over.

- As you know, we are in a cemetery.

There's dead people here, dead souls,

and Angelina's marriage is dead,

so this is gonna take away all the bad juju,

and you're gonna have positive vibes in the future--

and all right, don't get mad at me,

but when I was drinking wine at your house last week,

I went to the bathroom,

and I saw your wedding dress.

So I stole it.

- Are you f*cking kidding me?

[rock music]

What the f*ck? f*ck?

- It's right here, your wedding dress.

- Oh. - No!

- You have my wedding dress?

[dramatic boom]

- This haunted house is crazy.

- [screams] - Like, you're just getting

f*cking--by ghosts.

[all scream]

- I'm getting nervous.

- Just shut the f*ck up.

- Don't tell me to shut the f*ck up.

- Go, go, go!

- This guy almost runs my leg over.

[screams] Oh, hell no.

Not cool--almost run me over.

- f*cking p*ssy b*tch.

- The new Vinny has seen almost every side of Angelina,

but I'm not sure he's seen her like this before.

- Babe, babe, come on.

- p*ssy-a*s b*tch.

Clown!

- ♪ Something evil ♪

["Wicked Gonna Come" by Blues Saraceno]

♪ Something evil ♪

♪ ♪

♪ Evil gonna rise ♪

- So I took your wedding dress. - Don't be mad.

- What the f*ck?

- Don't be mad, because this is a nice ritual.

We're celebrating your divorce.

Now you can be happy.

You have a great man with you.

So we gotta say goodbye to the dress.

- Oh, my God.

- She was gonna wear it at the new wedding.

- I know. She was gonna wear it

at the next wedding.

- We're burning it. - Oh, sh*t.

- I paid all this money for the f*cking wedding dress,

and then all of a sudden, now we're in a f*cking cemetery,

and we're lighting it on fire.

- Holy sh*t.

- Let me get my ceremony outfit ready.

- Where the Ouija board?

- If there's a Ouija board, then I'm out.

There's cloaks, a fire, candles.

Oh, my God.

This is, like, everything I hate.

- Oh, wait! - ♪ Amazing grace ♪

- No, we don't light it yet. Blow it out, blow it out.

You guys, this is not how my ceremony's supposed to go.

- Mike lit it, Mike lit it.

- By the way, let's just do a prayer for everybody

in the cemetery.

Father, Son, Holy Spirit.

- We look like a cult!

- Rest in peace, everybody in this cemetery.

- All right. - Your cemetery is beautiful.

We are Catholic-- Jesus supporters.

Mwah, love you. - Come on.

- We're gonna get canceled for this.

- Okay, so Angelina, when you light your candle,

list all the things that you want to say goodbye to

in your marriage, because obviously,

you have a lot. So let's light our candles.

- Why do you have a cape on?

- It's a drip guard.

- Ha ha, Vinny got rid of his drip guard.

- Light your damn candles, man.

- Whoa, sh*t.

- Spirits. - [record scratch]

- Please join us. - Hey!

Hey! Say all the things

that you hated in your marriage.

This is your funeral.

- So the things that I wanna--

- RIP everybody in the cemetery.

- All right, let Angelina speak.

- Okay, the things I never wanna deal

with again and I wanna forget

from the marriage is

number one--

I wanna have somebody that I can communicate with.

- [snorts]

- Yo, get up, as*h*le!

You have an attitude.

- I don't have an attitude. I gotta wipe.

How am I gonna wipe? - Yo, you stink.

I never want a man again that Dutch ovens me.

- [farts]

[farts]

That how you go to sleep. Thank you.

- [laughs] - f*ck.

- Good night. - I'm f*cking married to you!

- Hey. - sh*t got very specific.

- I also wanna get rid of the no-sex.

- What room did you guys bang in first?

- We haven't. - Not yet?

- Stop it. - I would be butt-a*s naked,

Alyssa, and he wouldn't give a f*ck.

He wouldn't even look at my body.

- Hey. - That was terrible.

- Already done.

all: Oh!

- Already done, forget about it.

- They had sex and a funeral already.

- I'm so happy to say these things out loud,

because all that stuff I went through,

like, nobody knows how hard it was for me,

living in that house.

You know? It was a lot.

It was a lot more than anybody knows.

- You want true love.

- Yes, true love--somebody that is nice to me, best friend.

I just want this to be over with, and I wish him the best,

and he's not a bad guy.

But he was just not for me. - There you go.

- She just wants to do the farewell thing.

- Perfect, Amen! - Beautiful!

- Amen! - Well said.

- I feel like this is really nice.

Like, Angelina looks like there's a weight lifted

off of her, and she's not going crazy.

I mean, I'm impressed.

Okay. - Let's burn 'em at the stake!

- Burn the dress! - Burn the dress.

all: [chanting] Burn the dress. - Good job, Angelina.

all: [chanting] Burn the dress. Burn the dress.

Burn the dress.

- Say goodbye to the dress.

- Goodbye, dress.

Goodbye, dress. Goodbye.

- Did you just kiss it? - It's a beautiful dress.

- Burn it. - I love the dress.

I just wanted to touch it one more time,

because if I'm gonna do this,

I just wanna, like, say goodbye to it at least.

- Chris, you may kiss the bride!

[all cheer]

- Even though it's kind of a bad memory for me now,

I still married somebody I loved.

I come home one day, and Chris' stocking was gone.

- Stop it. - No.

- Just moved out? When you go through some

tough life events like this,

it's definitely very scary,

because I know you could feel alone.

- [scoffs] I'm, like, in this house, alone.

- ♪ You just wanted anything ♪

- This is closure right here, guys, and I'm glad

that she can move forward in a positive--positive way.

- Where's the lighter fluid? - It's right here.

- Yo, you got it?

- Can we k*ll the speech in there too while we're at it?

- Yes. - k*ll the speech!

- No, no, no, I like it.

- No more! - Don't do it ever again!

- I like the speech. - Yes, and the speech is done.

- Out with the old and in with the new, Ange!

- I still can't get over the fact that Vinny .

is partaking in the dress-burning,

but she seems, like, committed

to whatever she's doing with Vinny,

where, like, she is truly letting her past go right now.

- All right, goodbye. - I feel like, Ange,

you should set that. - Rest in peace, wedding!

- ♪ I am free, I am me ♪

♪ I am who I wanna be ♪

- Whoa. - Whoa!

- ♪ Closer to me ♪

- Poof, up in smokes, the dress goes,

and RIP to her marriage. It's official.

- Thatta girl!

- Are you a pyro? - Yeah!

[laughter] - More!

- Rest in peace!

- You did it, girl!

- Yes! all: Yay!

[applause]

- I feel, like, liberated.

That's it,

and it's over.

- Let me get the happy couple

in front of the burning wedding dress.

- Yeah! - Good job, Angelina!

Good job, Ange!

- ♪ La la la, la la la la la la la ♪

- ♪ All the way up ♪

- ♪ La la la ♪ - ♪ Hey! ♪

♪ La la la la la la la ♪

- Oh, yeah! Burn, baby!

Yeah! That was lit, literally.

- ♪ Kick it and love ♪ - ♪ La la la la ♪

- Okay, guys, we're on to the next step.

We're going on a ghost tour, b*tch.

[record winds down]

- Oh, my God, like, haven't we had enough of the ghost tours

in New Orleans? - I have dead babies

coming up next.

- That is the old g*y bathhouse.

There are tons of weird spirits inside of that right there.

- Actually, guys... - What?

- I kind of hijacked this a bit,

because last time, it was, like...

- Pauly... - It was kind of basic.

So, um... - "It was kind of basic"?

I just told you I upgraded it. - Oh, sh*t.

- I kind of upgraded the upgrade.

- You're such a d*ck. - Is it, like, a good upgrade?

- Very good upgrade-- it's the cr--

scariest thing in town. This guy put me on.

It is really dope.

I got something that's actually scary,

not fake ghost stories.

So we're trying to do something

scary while we're out here--

figured you might know. - I got a great place for you.

- You do? - It scared me shitless.

- It's like that? - Absolutely.

Absolutely. - Okay.

It's haunted.

- Listen, I had a pretty haunted place too.

I'm just sayin'. - I don't know

if it's this haunted. - Oh, sh*t.

[dramatic music]

- [cackling]

♪ ♪

- The Mortuary, Haunted Mansion.

- Oh, Pauly, this is freaky.

- I got the chills.

♪ ♪

- [screams]

- Oh, this is my vibe.

I liked how Pauly hijacked this.

I love haunted houses--

f*cking love.

- All right, guys, 'cause the last ghost tour--

I don't know.

- Oh, shut up! - I don't know.

- Shut up, Pauly!

- This is the real deal.

We're gonna get scared right now.

This mortuary haunted mansion looks scary AF.

This is dope. - I am just feeling,

like, a lot of bad vibes.

- But we're with Vinny the cop.

- It's a fun spooky. - Yeah, so fun.

Pass.

No, thank you.

- [scary voice] Spooky...

- Yeah, I think I'm just gonna hang out out here.

[record winds down]

- I'll stay with you, babe.

- He doesn't wanna go in either.

- I'm gonna stay with my Deen.

- Aw, you're scared.

- I knew right away Deena was not gonna go

in this sh*t. Anything like this,

she's like, "I'm out."

- I have a f*cking pendulum thing.

- "Can we do it?" We're not doing anything

like that in this house, and if you guys do it

in or around my house, and I see that you do it

in or around my house-- - I'm not g--

- I really will f*cking not talk

to you guys ever again. - Oh, my God.

- We'll wait for you on the outside.

- Welcome to hell!

Come on, guys. This is the real deal.

Follow me. - Why are we so culty tonight?

- I actually need to use the bathroom.

- Don't get scared now.

[scary music]

- Oh, hell no!

- Okay, "hell no."

Goodbye.

- I don't wanna go first.

- I'll go first.

- [screams] - Ah!

Angelina!

- Chill, chill.

- This is something to warm up to, like,

this thing doesn't even buy you dinner first.

Like, you're just getting f*cking

straight up f*cked by ghosts.

- [screams] - Oh!

- [screams]

- Well, cheers.

- Cheers.

- Actually kind of romantic.

- Yeah.

- [screams]

- Dirty-a*s b*tch.

Oh, b*tch, are you a demon?

There's demons! There's demons!

- I ain't going first! f*ck that sh*t.

This is crazy.

- wh*re bag!

- Thank God, Deena and Chris did not come inside.

- When is this over?

- [screams] - Do you hear them screaming?

- [screams] - That would've been it.

I would've been done.

- [screams] - The Buckners are out.

- [laughter] - How do you deal

with a head like that? Look at her head!

- [groans] - [screams]

- f*cking wh*re!

[screams] b*tch, f*ck!

You're a b*tch, m*therf*cker!

I gotta pee!

- That girl's possessed.

- My pants are ruined.

- This is too much.

- [screams]

- So I'm fine. - [screams]

- They do their thing. We hang out outside.

I think I gave you an out.

- Holy sh*t!

- He needs a Band-Aid.

- Right this way!

- Stop it! - Come on in!

- What is this? - Look.

- Oh, my God! Come on!

- No, no. - This b*tch is walking--

like, she's walking on her f*cking back legs.

I'm like, "Okay, are you a spider?"

[all scream] - wh*re!

[laughter]

Where'd she go? - I don't trust this sh*t.

- This is like a date night for us.

We're sitting on a step, we're drinking a--

- This is, like-- - Drink!

- I have--what's the opposite of follow?

- [screams]

[boom] - Oh!

- [laughs] - g*dd*mn!

- [screams]

- What the f*ck?

- Get the f*ck out of here, Tiny!

- Zack's acting like such a b*tch in the haunted house.

announcer: Standing '"

and weighing in at pounds,

the reality of wrestling,

Zack the p*ssy...

[cat meows]

Cat. - [slow-motion] Hey!

Hey!

Let's roll this way.

- You go. - All right.

- Mr. Embarrassing.

- b*tch!

- I'm like, "Damn, like, yo, slide in my DMs."

Like, sh*t, I've been ghosted before.

You know what I'm saying?

- [pants] It's good-- we're behind the co--

[screams] - [screams]

You b*tch. You gotta stop.

- You think they're having a good time in there?

I hear screaming.

- I don't think anyone's having a good time in there.

- [roars]

- How'd it go?

- [screams]

I'm gonna die! I feel like I just

got k*lled in there. Did you hear us screaming?

- Oh, I'm so happy I didn't go.

- She would've definitely sh*t her thong.

- That was spookies. - That was cool.

The faces were, like, real, and they would go like this.

- Oh, yeah, I don't like that. - You don't?

- I think we need a rebirth. - Yes.

- So the next stop

is a church!

- Is church even open at this time?

- Churches are always open.

- [laughs] - God doesn't close.

- All right.

all: ♪ I'm coming home ♪

- ♪ Sit down, just sit down, just sit down ♪

all: ♪ Gonna take my time ♪

♪ Gonna claim what's mine ♪

- ♪ Just taking my time, okay ♪

- The next stop is a church!

- I'm starving. What about dinner?

- Is church even open at this time?

- God doesn't close.

- ♪ Amazing grace ♪

♪ How sweet the sound ♪

- Ooh, look at the churchy. - Oh, wow, that was quick.

- This is a church,

but it was formed into a restaurant.

- So I can get communion and a fillet?

- Bless your sins. - We can get the wafer.

- I'm gonna have nightmares of the haunted house.

- Same. - [giggles]

- Thank you.

Wow. - Hi.

- Where do you wanna sit?

- [chanting] Through Him, with Him, in Him.

In the unity of the Holy Spirit...

It is exactly that.

It's a church. There's, like,

stained-glass windows.

There's holy water over there.

All glory and honor is yours Almighty Father,

forever and ever.

- ♪ Amen ♪ - Is that how it goes?

There's even a priest, but he's a bartender.

What time is mass?

[church organ playing]

- We should do a shot. - Y'all need Jesus.

- I'll just stick to vodka club with lime.

I was just drinking

some vodka sodas at the haunted house.

- I'm okay. Thank you.

- You're not getting a drink?

Tonight's a night to have a good freakin' time.

Wait, what did everybody get?

Everybody got dirty martinis?

- I got dirty, yeah. - What did Jenni get?

- She got dirty. - She got a dirty.

- [shouting] All right, you know what?

- Oh, my God. - Oh, sh*t.

- Oh, sh*t. - [laughs]

- Here it comes. - Sometimes, when the meatballs

drink, we turn a little.

- Wait, wait!

Wait. - Deena.

- What? - And I see Deener,

and she starts slurring. - Where'd she go?

- She disappeared... - She disappeared!

- In the church.

- Neener's here. Oh, here we go.

- Happy divorce party, Angelina!

- Happy Vinny . birthday on Sunday!

- Whoo-hoo!

I'm so happy you're here.

- Me too. I appreciate you guys

having me. - Nice to meet you.

- Whoo, did she just say, "Nice to meet you"?

- Nice to meet you.

I'm kidding around.

- 'Ey, yo, forget about it.

- Did you really think I meanth it?

Men' it? - Meanth it?

[laughter]

- Good night. [laughter]

- ♪ I wanna go crazy ♪

♪ Crazy with you ♪

♪ Hit the dance floor ♪

♪ Tear the club up ♪

♪ And sing the night away ♪

- All right, let's all go around the table

and ask Vinny one question.

- Oh, yeah. - Ooh, this is good.

- Oh, no. Please, Lord, have mercy

on me. I'm in a church.

Please, no. - Vinny.

- Yes? - What do you like about Ange?

- Uh, Ange, her good heart--

that she rescued all those animals

and put them before herself. - Right.

- I think that's a good one. - What else?

- Kay, Mike? - What is your favorite

position together, sexual?

- Oh, my God. all: God!

- We're in a church, Mike.

- Sex before marriage-- in a church?

all: My God! - I'm sorry, God.

- What the-- - What the hell?

- He's hungry and horny, I feel like.

- Both. - Mike, you are obsessed

with my sex life. It's so weird.

[chuckles] - Doggy style.

- Yes! - Oh!

- He's an animal lover!

- Damn. [laughter]

- All right. - Laurens?

- What was the first thing

that attracted you to Angelina?

- Her t*ts.

- Oh, my gosh. - Definitely the t*ts.

- We're in church, for God's sakes.

- The t*ts?

- Do you like to get choked out during sex?

- What the f*ck?

- She put her hand on my neck--I don't mind.

- Yeah? Okay, okay.

- You choke him? - A little bit.

You're the only guy who doesn't like that.

- Do you like that, Chris?

- I like it when he does it to me though.

- We're in church, for God's sakes!

They gotta start throwing holy water on us.

We're in church, for God's sakes!

You need Jesus.

- I'm gonna go to the bathroom,

if anybody wants to come.

- I meant Vinny should have a--

- I'm gonna go to the bathroom.

- What's your middle name?

- Uh, Louis.

- Mine's Joseph. - Very different.

- Mine's Dominic-Michael.

- Nice. - What, uh--are you Italian?

- Yeah, and Puerto Rican. - Oh, and Puerto Rican?

- Yeah. - Oh, okay.

- Hey. Ay, dios mio.

[laughter]

- I can't believe it's your birthday soon.

- That's my mom's birthday.

- Your mom's th? - Yeah, yeah, yeah.

- My mom's th. - [laughing] No way.

- You're not screwing with me? What in the world?

- My mom's birthday is two days after mine.

His mom's birthday is two days after his.

- This is bugged out. Who casted this guy?

[laughter]

- So I feel like we need full circle.

So I think that we do a redemption--

like, a redemption speech.

[dramatic beat]

- The word "speech" just should not

ever be brought up again.

[all booing]

Oh, my God. Calm down.

I am-- [sighs]

See, I'm stressing right now.

I have PTSD.

- This feels like a gamble here.

- I wrote a speech she will love,

and it's about her--

about us loving her.

- Oh, my God.

[dramatic hip-hop music]

I'm getting nervous.

- Just shut the f*ck up.

- Don't tell me to shut the f*ck up.

- Ooh... - I'm kidding around.

- Hey. - Oh, my God.

Don't be-- - You're very loud.

- Don't be mad at me.

Calm down.

I'm not afraid of you, JWOWW.

- [chuckles] - I'm not afraid.

You're not gonna hit me.

- But I will.

You said, "Shut the f*ck up."

I'll f*cking punch Meana.

- Calm down.

[percussive beat]

- Just shut the f*ck up.

- Don't tell me to shut the f*ck up.

- Calm down. I'm not afraid of you, JWOWW.

Jenni acts like, you know, she's the boss of the group,

and I'm like, "No, J," like...

I'm allowed to, like-- we're doing this.

Don't be an as*h*le to me. - You said,

"Shut the f*ck up," out of nowhere.

- All right, I'm sorry. - Thank you.

- I'm jealous.

- Whatever. We're allowed to fight.

We're sisters.

- Say, do you, like--do you wanna, like, settle down?

- Yeah, I'm ready to settle down.

- Nice. - Before I met her,

I wasn't really just, you know.

- Yeah, you weren't-- you weren't like--

- I wasn't looking for anyone. - Mm-hmm.

- How long you been single?

- Two years.

- I've been single my whole life.

- All right, all right. Angelina, he looks like

a good dude.

- Can I see the rest? - Yes.

- "You're the hot to our mess."

- "Pepperoni." - "You're the pepperoni

to our pizza." - It's all good stuff.

- "You're the dirty to our martini"!

- See? It's all good!

- Yes! - It's all good stuff.

- We should've did this in the first place.

Saying nice things like that, I think she'll like--

I hope. - Oh, wow.

- Let's do this, girls! Whoo!

- It's gonna be like...

Flowers and rainbows.

- What?

- Yeah. - Let's go.

- f*ck it. - What, did you girls fall in?

- [tapping glass]

- Oh, my God.

Oh, my God! all: Oh!

- What's happening? - We are doing a speech

for Angeliner.

- Oh, my God. The f*cking speech

that keeps on giving, man.

- It's gonna be good, but funny.

It's good, but funny. - I can't wait to see it.

It doesn't go away!

Speech-gate never goes away!

- So you're the lice to my...

You're the lice to my hair.

[all booing]

You're the lice to my...

just kidding.

[sharp dramatic tone]

Let's try this again.

- Rim shot.

- So--oh, wait, your turn.

- [laughs]

- No, that was it. Your turn.

- All right. - Sorry, I wrote this earlier.

- All right, so, Angelina, after our speech

at your wedding that we feel terrible about,

that we would take back in two seconds,

we want to give you another speech

at your divorce party, and we love you.

- I know this is gonna be bad. [chuckles]

Even though I think this is supposed to be the good speech.

- Oh, okay, wait.

- They're all drunk.

- It's been a wild few years,

and wild is an understatement.

- Get that f*cking finger out of my f*cking face.

- I would never be a f*cking--

- Get that f*cking finger out of my f*cking face.

- I literally said-- - I'm a wh*re?

- Well, you were acting like a f*cking wh*re.

- Well, shut the f*ck up while I finish.

- It's not messy. - I'm not f*cking done!

- But we got through it.

We made it out the other end

and are closer than we ever were with you.

The last year has been very hard for you,

but you weathered the storm, girl.

You came out strong.

We're so proud of you. You're a badass b*tch.

- Yes. - Thank you,

- We love you. - So, Angelina.

You are the spicy to my margarita.

- Angelina, you're the dirty to our martini.

- You're the hot to our mess.

- Oh, my God.

- You're the Pedialyte to our hangover.

- I love Pedialyte.

both: You're the pepperoni to our pizza.

- Oh, my God.

- Pedialyte ain't paying for this.

- There's going to be

a lot of mores up and down in our future.

- A lot of force? - A lot of Morse?

I love s'mores! - Whatever, I'm drunk!

[slurring] A lot of more ups and down in our future!

Whatever!

- [laughing] She makes no sense.

- I love s'mores. - Deena, you're k*lling it.

- You're okay. - I love s'mores.

- Vinny, please shut the f*ck up.

- Yeah, Vinny.

- I love s'mores.

- No matter what, we will be there by your side.

both: We love you, Angelina! - Oh, my God, I love this.

Thank you.

See, this is what would have been nice

at my actual wedding.

But it's nice to hear them saying it now.

Oh, my God. - Cheers!

- All right.

- Angelina really liked the speech,

and the boys liked it.

I mean, Deeners was slurring a lot.

- Can I tell you something?

[...] - Who wrote this?

- But I mean, it's normal.

- Wait, so there's no s'mores?

- We're gonna have a lot. - Thank you.

- We're gonna have a lot more s'mores over the years.

- Whatever, I was drunk when I did your speech

the other time too.

- She had some drinks, all right?

- Angelina, you know something interesting?

That was the point they were trying to get across

the first one.

- I know. - Didn't come across like that.

- We sucked.

- Spicy to my margarita,

I wish I'd thought of that the first time.

- That was how it should have been.

- I liked it.

- Well, Vinny, welcome to the family.

- Yeah, we're loud. - This is a normal thing.

- We're a lot, we're a lot. - This is nothing.

- We kind of-- - This is nothing.

- Fight each other even though we love each other.

- Deena tried to fistfight me in the bathroom.

- Oh, she was nasty to me.

- Ooh!

- She doesn't even remember I did nothing.

She literally goes, "Shut the f*ck up."

- No, because you were making fun of me.

- Ooh.

- She said, "Deena, stop being loud."

Deena said, "Shut the f*ck up."

- What in the actual f*ck is going on right now?

- The girls are fighting again.

- You said you'll k*ll me, basically.

- Box it out, box it out.

- We said sorry.

- Yeah, then why are you calling me out?

- You guys are sisters! Stop fighting!

- You're not gonna hit me. Go ahead.

- Don't give f*cking attitude.

- Just being nasty to me tonight.

- You can't fight in church.

- I forgot I was in a church.

I'm definitely impressed with Vinny ..

It takes a lot for someone to come out here,

you know, deal with all of us in front of all of this.

'Cause it's a lot.

- He seems like he can handle it.

- Yeah. - Appreciate that.

- And you seem very level-headed.

I like that.

- I try to be, as best I can.

- Wait, so when we call , do you show up?

- No, it's-- - What?

- Where I'm at, yeah. - Shut up.

- You gotta see how he shoots a g*n.

He f*cking never misses. - Wow.

- Yeah, I'm trained with the FBI.

I'm a certified instructor.

- Oh, my God, that's amazing.

- He's a m*therf*cking sn*per. - You got a good person.

- Are aliens real?

- Can't tell you that. - [laughs]

- What school did you go to?

- I went back to Staten Island for Wagner College.

I got my master's there in accounting.

- You have a master's degree? - Yeah.

- Oh! - Yeah.

- I mean, I scored a guy that has a master's degree,

has a great job, is a good person,

literally has a great family.

And I think Vinny is just jealous.

- Master's in accounting? Wow.

- Yeah.

- I know someone who needs help with this taxes.

[laughter]

[upbeat music]

- You're a p*ssy and b*tch.

- She's a buzzkiller.

- Buckle your seatbelt, Vin.

- You're a p*ssy-a*s b*tch.

f*cking p*ssy-a*s b*tch-- p*ssy-a*s f*cking cl*t.

f*ck-face clown!

- ♪ You don't want no trouble ♪

[dramatic music]

- Isn't she so chill with him? - Normal.

- You don't feel stressed like you were--

- And she didn't say the F-word once.

- All right, guys. - Cheers to Angeliners!

all: Cheers! - Cheers to Angeliners!

- Salud! - Whoo!

- Have fun! Go to sleep.

- No, we're staying.

- Oh, we're staying here? - Bye, guys.

- They're so drunk.

They don't even know what they're doing.

- Let's go, Dirty Stay Outs.

Dirty Stay Out.

Nicole, explain Dirty Stay Out to Vinny.

- Dirty Stay Out is like us going out

till wee hours of the morning, and it's literally just

Angeliner, me, and the meatballs back here.

Tonight is a Dirty Stay Out night.

I mean, it's Angelina's divorce party.

We did this full ceremony. Let's celebrate.

So are you down to try and do the Dirty Stay Out?

- I can see how-- - We can recruit you.

- Yeah, I got to earn my stripes.

- Christopher, you get a meatball.

- [snoring]

- We're trying to recruit a member, and you're sleeping.

We have to initiate him into the g*ng.

- Babe, are you staying with us,

or are you staying with them?

- I don't know. Are you guys going out?

- We're going out to a club? - When?

- Right now.

- How far are we from the hotel?

- I have no idea, Chris.

Don't fricking bit your lip.

Why are you getting mad at me?

- 'Cause you woke me up,

and you're like, "Hey, we're going."

- You're not coming? - Are you done drinking?

- No. - Then no.

I'm gonna go back to the room.

- Chris is smart.

Deena is now Meana, and I wouldn't want

any part of that.

- So I'm the problem? - There's no problem.

- Honestly.

All right, bye, guys. - Be careful, guys.

- Love you. - Have fun.

- Bye, guys.

- I think he's a little sickies.

- I could cry. He didn't want to deal with me.

- Well, I'll deal with you. I'm your second husband.

- All right, we're having girls night.

- Yeah.

- I have to pee! - Yeah, we're gonna go pee.

- To go pee!

[groans]

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

- Ah, just twerking.

- All right. - Are you okay?

- Are you done drinking?

- Who cares if I'm done drinking?

What, does he think I'm so f*cked up

I'm gonna get crazy?

It's a meatball night.

♪ ♪

- Look at this bed. Nice and quiet room.

Tonight was a long night.

I can't keep up with these Dirty Stay Outs.

♪ ♪

[soft music]

I wonder what Deena's doing.

[fast electronic music]

♪ ♪

I feel like I'm missing out, but I'm not really missing out.

You know what, sometimes a Dirty Stay Out needs a stay in.

Get a good night's sleep.

[soft music]

♪ ♪

[fast electronic music]

- Yeah!

- It's not easy being the Dirty Stay Out.

Whoo!

- Hands up, everybody, hands up!

♪ ♪

[soft music]

♪ ♪

- Oh!

[fast electronic music]

♪ ♪

- Atta girl!

♪ ♪

This is new for me because,

with Angelina and her past relationship,

I didn't see her, like, lovey-dovey with Chris.

- ♪ I'm the hype, yeah, you heard her right ♪

- Wow, all right.

She went from no sex to doing sex in public.

Crazy.

♪ ♪

- ♪ Hallelujah, yeah ♪

♪ Legendary ♪

♪ Champ like Jason Terry, whoo ♪

- ♪ Ba-bands to make her dance ♪

♪ s to bring her friends ♪

♪ 's a change of plans ♪

♪ Before I came here, all grams ♪

♪ For a dollar, you'll do all this for a dollar? ♪

♪ Girl make you think she a scholar ♪

♪ Accent like she's super proper ♪

♪ Lick a swimming pool, make her say [...] all the rules ♪

- The meatballs are very, very, very drunk right now.

- But I think we should go

before somebody actually gets hurt.

[laughs]

[upbeat hip-hop music]

- Whoa!

♪ ♪

Oh, sh*t.

♪ ♪

- Let's do it!

Let's go home. - Whoo!

- Are we going on that thing? - No, we're not.

Are we? - We are?

We're going on that?

- Can we go? - Yeah, b*tch!

Let's go!

- Oh, my God, this has the meatballs

written all over it.

- Go, go, go!

Go, go, go!

- Why would that even happen just now?

- Whee! - Yay!

- This guy just f*cking straight up takes off on me

and almost runs my leg over.

- [in slow motion] Go, go!

- Oh, hell no.

Like, this is not--no.

We almost got k*lled, almost got k*lled!

- Whoo! - Whee!

- Whee! - [laughs]

Yay, whee!

- Jerk off the jerk off.

- Whee!

- People are psychotic.

- Yay! - Yay!

- Whoo!

- What an as*h*le.

No one's gonna f*cking do that to me,

and then just get away with it.

- Oh. - You're the best!

- Thank you.

Come on, girl.

- I hope you didn't pay for that.

- Oh, my God.

- You almost k*lled me, you f*ck.

- You know Angeliners? - I know Angeliner.

- How do you know Angeliners? - He doesn't f*cking know me.

Let me ask you something!

Was that cool to almost run me over?

- Bro, you're a f*cking clown, bro.

- What am I, a clown? - You're a clown.

- You f*cking p*ssy b*tch.

- Oh, boy.

The new Vinny has seen almost every side

of Angelina, from her being quiet to her having fun.

But I'm not sure he's seen her like this before.

- You're a p*ssy-a*s b*tch.

- Don't be playing that. - Say something.

- b*tch. - f*cking p*ssy f*ck-face.

- She's a buzzkiller.

- You're a p*ssy.

- Just when we start having fun.

- f*ck you! - Girl, come on, girl.

- Buckle your seatbelt, Vin.

- Hey, you!

I'm gonna k*ll him. - Hey, hey, come on.

Babe, it's not worth it.

- You're a b*tch.

No one likes you. f*cking p*ssy-a*s b*tch.

p*ssy-a*s f*cking cl*t. - Girl, come on.

- Clown!

- Let's pretend it's not his birthday, like we all forgot.

- What's up, guys?

No one seems to remember that it's my birthday.

- What do you see with your future with him?

- I know he'll be a really good dad.

- I want to get engaged. - Stop, tonight?

- Tonight, yeah. - Stop it.

- You would consider having children soon?

- %. - Does she know?

- She doesn't know.