07x02 - Reality Check

[bunniefuu]

- ♪ MTV ♪

- I have been able to locate Angelina's father.

- [gasps] - Oh, my God!

- I could finally have the family I always wanted.

- She looks just like you, Dad. It's crazy.

- This is the biggest thing I ever wanted in my entire life,

[sobbing] Oh, my God.

Having a father.

- Let me see your watch. What is it, a Rolex?

[upbeat music stops]

Wish I could afford a watch like that.

[tense music]

- I have a little secret to reveal to the squad.

It's very big, and I wanted to tell you guys first.

- What is going on here?

Why is there paparazzi in Holmdel?

This guy has to tell us before it gets out.

- Is Angelina coming? - Oh, no.

She's gone dark the past two weeks.

I don't know. - I hope she's all right.

- [sobbing]

[energetic electronic music]

♪ ♪

- ♪ If I was you, I'd be dying to be ♪

♪ A reflection of the person that you're seeing in me ♪

♪ Like I was born on the moon ♪

- What is happening? - Something big is happening.

Are you ready for the surprise? all: Yeah.

- Cause I can't keep this to myself anymore.

This is one of my biggest secrets ever.

And I'm ready to scream it from the rooftop.

Please rise. - Please rise?

- Please rise. - What is this?

- In the name of the Father-- - Are you a priest?

- I have--I have a little bit of a surprise here.

- ♪ Secret, secret ♪

- What I'm about to show you

couldn't have come out any better.

- ♪ I wanna tell you ♪

- I have no clue what is behind that black sheet.

But if there's another investigation board,

I'm out. [chuckles]

- This right here has been a baby of mine

for the past two years.

I put my heart and my soul into it.

I think once people see it, um--

the cover couldn't--cover?

- [chuckles] - Huh?

- The cover? - The cover?

- No. No, no, no, no.

- My man can't keep a secret, man!

- Wait, wait, wait. Let me rewind that.

Let me rewind that, OK?

- Like, come on, you were this close.

You were so close to the reveal.

- He's on a cover of something. - Who says that?

- Before I reveal my secret anymore, OK, here we go.

[energetic musical crescendo]

This is the cover to my book that I'm launching.

This is a book launch party. - Oh, my God!

[cheers and applause] - Congratulations!

- Yes. - That's amazing!

- I am now an author. - That's sick.

- I'm pretty sure Mike can't write.

Unless this is a picture book or a coloring book,

Mike had someone helping him.

- This is my tell-all book.

- Oh, we're [...]. - [chuckles]

- This is my story about how I overcame addiction.

I'm eight years clean and sober,

living my best life and teaching others to do the same.

The book launches in the fall.

And technically right now, my new nickname

is The Publication. [laughter]

- My man. [cheers and applause]

Congratulations, my guy.

- It is official.

I am now an author.

This is a book that I've been working on

for the past two years.

This right here is the first time ever

that I'm giving my full story about how

I recovered from addiction.

People are going to be shocked.

They're gonna laugh, they're gonna cry.

But most importantly,

I think it's going to help countless lives.

I think it was very important for me

to detail my struggles with addiction

along with how I worked my damnedest to recover

and have lasting sobriety and a beautiful family

that I have today.

How I overcame addiction, loss, and prison,

those are the really big themes.

And I really think you guys are going

to really love this book.

It's like "Wolf of Wall Street" good.

- Wow. - Oh, that's good.

- Do you want to hear a story or two that's in the book?

- Yes. - Yeah.

- OK.

Um--

[soft dramatic music]

I have never told anyone

some of these stories

because I have to relive, you know--

[sighs] You know, the darkest moments of my life.

But I want to tell the squad

before I release it to the world.

Now, I'm not necessarily proud to admit this.

But one day in , I wasn't feeling good

because at this particular time,

I was in active addiction

and I was dependent on prescription opiates.

I was taking about six Roxys three times a day.

That's a lot.

A Roxy is equivalent to three Percocet-'s.

- Like Percocets? - Mm-hmm.

- Oh, wow. - Wow.

- In a three-year period,

how much do you think I paid for drugs?

Half a million. - [gasps]

- Wow. - ,?

- , on Roxys and cocaine. - Michael.

- Man. - Oh, my God.

- But at this particular point, I'm down on my luck.

This is rock bottom, OK?

And I'm really depressed.

You know, the government's coming after me for millions.

I got nothing left.

I'm a couple of months behind on my rent.

They're about to kick me out. I'm unemployed.

The lawyers are about to leave me

because I have no really money to pay for them anymore.

So this is all weighing on me, you know.

I'm starting to get what's called the [...]its, OK,

where you're like, [...] it, so I call my buddy up.

Dude, I'm like, I'm not going to feel good shortly.

You know, can you get me some blues?

Blues is the code name for Roxys in the street.

He's like, yeah, man. He's like, let's go to Newark.

You drive.

So I left the house with the old friend

that I grew up with.

- Was Lauren with you at this time?

- Yes. Lauren was with me. And we got into a big fight.

When I left the house, she just--she just had a feeling.

So me and my friend, we get to Newark.

He's like, dude, stay in the car, and I'll get it.

So I'm sitting there for an hour.

There's cops running.

But, you know, the sirens going back and forth.

Lauren's blowing up my phone, you know,

I know what you're doing.

I'm thinking to myself, dude.

Like, Lauren's going to k*ll me right now.

Finally, after about an hour and a half,

he comes back to the car, throws something on my lap.

[tense notes]

It was heroin.

I'm like, dude, what the [...] is that?

He's like, bro, it's the same thing.

[somber music]

♪ ♪

I always told myself I would never cross that line

because most people don't come back from heroin.

You know?

It's the worst of drugs.

But I was at rock bottom at this particular moment.

♪ ♪

You know, I had lost all hope.

I get back in my room.

Lauren's downstairs. We're fighting.

We're not talking to each other.

I'm upstairs. I got the bundle in my hand.

I'm feeling horrible. I'm like, you know what, man?

I can't get any worse. Let me just try it.

I'm not going to feel good in about minutes

because I'm going to go through withdrawals.

So I take a key bump out, and I tried the first--

I tried a bump of it.

And I'm like, oh, I don't-- I don't like it.

I feel dirty.

I'm like, good, I didn't like it, I survived, OK.

And then a little devil on my shoulder goes,

why don't you try one more little bump?

That'll make you feel better.

And then all of a sudden I'm like,

all right, maybe I'll try another,

you know, another bump, you know?

So I go back, and I was about to try another one,

and my phone rings-- guess who it is?

- Who is it? - Who?

- My mother.

- Oh. - Aw.

- My mother. - Wow.

- And she had--she had no idea what was happening.

But she had a lot of concern in her voice.

And she said, Are you OK?

And I'm thinking to myself, What the [...] is going on?

Am I in the [...] "Truman Show"?

I'm like looking up in the ceiling like,

how does she-- how does she know

what the hell is going on right now?

So I'm like, no, mom, I'm fine.

She's like, I'm worried about you.

And then I had the--

I had the other key bump in my hand.

That moment could have been my last moment

trying that one more time.

And then all of a sudden, a knock on the door.

It's Lauren.

She's like, let me in, I'm coming in right now.

In that moment...

[tense music echoes and fades]

I felt like you know what? This was a sign from God.

It's over.

And in that moment,

I surrendered, put my hands up.

I threw the bundle in the toilet bowl.

I told my mom I love her. I hung up.

I opened the door. Me and Lauren hugged.

I started to cry.

And I said, I have to go to rehab.

And that was the day I went to rehab.

- Wow. - Wow.

- I've been sober ever since. - [indistinct]

- Wow. - I've been sober ever since.

- ♪ Oh, I, I looked the devil in the eye ♪

- Not a day goes by to think that

I could have also tragically passed

from the disease of addiction.

But my mom and Lauren,

they were both fighting for my life down to the last second.

And my wife loved me when I didn't love myself, you know?

My wife saved me.

So you know, the man that you see today, um--

I'm my best self, but once upon a time, I was my worst self,

and she was there.

And I'll never forget that.

Long story short, that friend that drove me to Newark

passed a year or so later from a heroin overdose.

- Yeah. - Oh.

- And um--

I feel that God spared me so I can tell my story

and save lives.

- You're really lucky to have Lauren by your side...

- Oh. - As you were going through it.

- Yeah. She--she-- she would not give up on me.

- [shakily] A lot of people think I was like, crazy

for, like, being there when he was so low.

But I had--people don't know that, like,

I had just lost my brother.

- Oh, I'm so sorry, Lauren. [Lauren sniffles]

[somber music]

[Lauren sobbing]

♪ ♪

- Why did he do this? Why did he have to do this?

- Anj, I'm so sorry.

- Never in a million years did I think

things were going to turn out like this.

- Anj, it's obvious it's over.

- I have to go to a baseball stadium

and throw the first pitch.

Can you help me?

[Snooki screaming]

Ugh!

I'm a cheerleader. I'm not a baseball player.

[shouts]

Oh, my God, you have to help me.

- ♪ My heart is yours unconditionally ♪

♪ And I'm moving forward ♪

♪ But you're back in a place ♪

♪ I don't want to be stuck in the dark ♪

- A lot of people think I was, like, crazy

for, like, being there when Mike was so low.

But people don't know that I had just lost my brother.

- Oh, I'm so sorry, Lauren.

[Lauren sobs]

[somber music]

[Lauren sniffles]

- My wife tragically lost her brother

through the disease of addiction.

And she--[sighs]

♪ ♪

She wasn't going to lose two people, you know?

So you know, she wasn't going to allow it.

- I never had addiction problems.

Like, I never-- like, I had experimented.

You know, like when you try things when you're young.

I never liked anything.

I never liked being, like, not in control.

And I don't even like drinking.

You guys know when I go out,

I have, like, one drink once in a while.

[sniffles] So it just wasn't for me.

And I didn't understand addiction then.

And I would just be angry with my brother

all the time for, like, what he was doing.

Like, you came from a good family.

Like, you were given everything.

Like, I didn't understand it.

And I would be angry with him and not talk to him.

So I feel like the last years of his life,

when he was struggling, I felt like I turned my back on him

because I didn't know that was going

to be, like, the last years. [sniffles]

So then when Mike started really relapsing

and being really sick, I was like, I'm not--

I'm not going through that again.

[somber music]

- This woman right here saved my life.

She wasn't going to give up on me, you know?

And we dedicate a lot of our recovery work

to her family and her brother.

And I think this book and these stories

are really going to help countless lives.

- Mm-hmm.

- I just wish my brother had a few more years

to get to see Mike overcome his addiction.

Because the only way you get through it

is through community and through people

that have experienced it.

And the comforting words of someone to say,

I understand and I've been there

and it's going to get better

and it's going to be OK and you can do it.

Just having someone say that to you

when you've gone through the worst thing in your life,

there's nothing more powerful than that.

- I document in detail how I saved myself from addiction,

the do's, the don'ts, the "Serenity Prayer," the steps,

the mindset, everything.

So that if you know somebody that

is suffering from the disease of addiction,

you can read my story.

And I'm grateful that

my life story might one day be somebody's survival guide.

- Absolutely. - Absolutely.

- Definitely. - That was powerful.

- And it's dope as people seeing

your whole life turn around, so it's like,

if The Situation can do it... - Yeah.

- I can do it.

- I am so proud of Mike for changing,

for being a better man, and writing this book

and telling his story because I really think

he's going to help a lot of people.

- So Mike, if this becomes

like the "Wolf of Wall Street"...

- I think it will.

- Who's going to play you in the movie?

- Ooh, yeah. - Ooh!

- Glad that you asked. - That'd be sick!

- You're a Mark Wahlberg. - Ooh, I kind of see that.

- That's a good one. That's a good one.

- I could see that one.

- This book will be a movie one day, I swear.

I think that Jennifer Lawrence can play my wife.

I also think that Megan Fox can be a JWoww.

Adrian Grenier can play Pauly.

Sandra Bullock can play a good Deena.

- Who would be a good Sammi Sweetheart?

Maybe Minka Kelly.

- Mila Kunis did an "SNL" skit on me.

She fricking k*lled it.

- I could definitely see Shia LaBeouf playing me.

Angelina will be played by herself

because no one can act that crazy. [chuckles]

- Well, we're so proud of you. - Thank you.

- To Mike. - Yay.

- Cheers to Mike!

- Here's to Mike's "Reality Check"!

- To "Reality Check"!

- Whoo! - Oh, look at that.

- Wow!

- Oh, my God, it's a cake!

- That's amazing.

- Yeah, I'm going to take a page out of that book.

[laughter]

- ♪ I got the goods, I got the goods ♪

♪ I'm doing anything you thought I ever could ♪

- Angelina, come here!

I made you guys pizza on the table.

Here.

That's your plate.

[upbeat music]

You can't look at the camera.

All right, so I have to go to a baseball game, you guys.

So you're going to be stuck with Dad.

So the Hudson Valley Renegades want to do a Snooki night.

They're the minor league team from my hometown,

and they want me to throw out the first pitch.

- No. I'm just throwing out-- you know how in baseball,

they have the first pitch

and that's how the whole game starts?

That's what I'm doing.

- Girls versus boys?

- No, I'm not in the game.

I'm just throwing the first pitch

and then I'm watching the game.

- So you're not, like, pitching against a batter?

- No!

- So are you pitching on the--on the batter?

- Are you listening?

I'm just throwing the first pitch

and then the game starts.

I'm gonna text the roomies and tell them it's happening.

- Snooki night at the baseball game.

- Nicole in a baseball game?

- Meet at my mom's house in Upstate New York?

- I'm sorry. What the [...] is a Snooki night?

- I have the transportations handled?

- Wait. Now I just got a text from Mike.

Meet at my house and we'll ride up to Snooki night together.

- My friends are coming, so that would be sick.

All right, let's go practice!

This is, like, a big deal.

I used to work at the stadium when I was in high school.

And I literally told everyone

I'm going to be famous one day on TV.

And they were like, yeah, sure.

Where's your baseball stuff?

I need a glove to pitch.

So the fact that now I'm going back and I made it,

I'm friggin' excited.

- What do you mean ew? It's pink and cute.

But I'm a little nervous because I'm a cheerleader.

I'm not a baseball player.

When I say corn, you say hole!

Corn!

Corn!

Let's go, bro!

[gasps and shouts]

[screams]

Ugh!

Ugh!

Oh, my God!

Good thing I don't have to catch the ball.

[upbeat music]

[sputters]

[grunts] Oh, sugar!

[grunts]

Oh, that hurt my booby.

[shouts]

All right.

I think I got it. [chuckles]

[somber music]

♪ ♪

- ♪ I fell through the ground ♪

- [sobbing]

- ♪ Didn't make a sound ♪

- The last few weeks of my life have not been good.

[sighs]

I just met my real father three months ago.

And I thought

this is the start of something great, right?

But things...

have spiraled out of control.

[phone ringing]

- Hello. - Hi.

I'm down the block from your house about to pull up.

[tense note]

- Well, I haven't seen Angelina in a minute.

She didn't show up to my book launch party.

- I think I'm having a panic attack.

I don't know. [sobs]

- I don't know what happened.

But it definitely seems like

she's going through a lot right now.

OK. OK, all right. We'll make you some tea.

Come on over. - [sobs]

[somber music]

- Hi. - Hey. How are you?

- Not that good.

So sorry I missed the dinner. I just couldn't make it.

I was just going through a lot, guys.

- No, no. - Like, I'm really sorry.

The dad situation--

- The last time I saw you, you were meeting him.

- Yeah! You were so excited. - Yeah.

And then, like, everything jus, like, got weird.

Like, the night that I met him, he grabs my watch.

And he's like, Is that a Rolex?

- Let me see your watch. What is it, a Rolex?

- Yeah.

- I wish I could afford a watch like that.

- I really didn't want to think anything of it.

- Mm-hmm.

- But then his dog had this big infection.

And he was saying he didn't have money for the dog.

So I took him to the vet that I go to, and it was $,.

So it's like, Angelina, can you help me?

And then, like, one week later,

he also has a car that's not working anymore.

So he was just like, can you hook me up?

And then he needed his teeth done.

He asked me to go get his eyes done.

And he asked for MTV Movie Award tickets.

I need to come up with $, on the day of court hearing.

My rent is $,, but he has raised it to $,.

Every time I would speak to him would be something new.

He texted me even last night, look at that, look at that,

asking me for $,. - Oh, my God. He's like,

I need to have this money in my pocket by this date.

What the [...]? - I'm sorry.

But like, I don't know you yet. Like, I don't even know you.

Maybe if you knew me for a year,

I'd help you the [...] out!

I know you three months!

I'm not trying to say he's a bad guy.

But I just have to tell you, like--

- He wasn't what you pictured in your head.

- It's just been so hard for me because

I really do feel like I got, like,

the [...] end of the stick.

Like, here I am, I was trying to get to know him and--

[tense note echoing]

[somber music]

♪ ♪

I just want to know my dad.

And this man knew this!

And he's like, I want to make it up.

I'm sad that I lost on all these years.

And here I am!

Here I am, Dad!

And you just asked me for money?

What the [...]?

- Well--well, listen. - I'm so sorry.

- You know, you wanted to find your biological dad,

and you did.

At the same time, I think that,

you know, you may have rushed into this relationship.

And that could have been a mistake.

- You got to get to know him.

Even though he's your biological father,

technically, it's still, you know, a stranger.

- Yup.

- So you have to kind of start the relationship

as you would with a stranger. - Yup.

You have to tip-toe into relationships

little by little.

It's called healthy boundaries. - Yes.

- If any family member hits you up

and says, hey, can I get some money?

I have a policy that I don't give any money

to any family member. - And what do you say to them?

- That's exactly what I said. - That's what he does.

- I don't need to give anybody money for them to love me.

You know what I mean? And be there for me.

You know? I think it's an important thing to be firm

and to have principles.

- So what should I say?

- Just be like

please do not contact me for money ever again.

If you would like to have a relationship

with your daughter, I will be here

for you when you're ready.

Love you. That's it.

- Send. - Yep.

- Thank you, guys. [sighs] - Yeah.

- I don't think I can keep doing this anymore.

- One thing at a time, Anj.

This is heart-wrenching.

I know how much she wanted to

have a relationship with her father

and find out who he was and where he's been.

And this definitely is a gut punch for Angelina for sure.

- Why did he do this? Why did he have to do this?

- Anj, I'm so sorry. - [sighs]

- Come on. - [sniffles]

- Come on.

[upbeat music]

- Hey, look who's here. Grandma.

Hi.

What'd you bring? - Hi. Tea.

- It's always a pleasure when my mom comes by

and gives me some of her amazing food.

What'd you get? Lemon and onion?

Honestly, my mom doesn't stop by

often enough to bring me goodies.

You brought me my favorite food.

Oh! - My favorite too.

- Watermellies.

- Look good, right? - Yeah, I'm in stripper mode.

So I'm going to Vegas.

I have Chippendales coming up,

I'm back on the stripper diet,

So my mom brought me some watermellies.

- Nothing like watermelon. - Yeah.

They are a stripper's best friend.

It's healthy, it's low-calorie, it's delicious.

- Not bad. I could tell by the smell.

- And it's nice to see my mom finally understanding that

I can't eat baked ziti every day.

[upbeat music stops]

Did you put something on this? - Yeah, I put salt.

- Oh.

- My grandmother is going to

come see me strip at Chippendales?

That's weird. - Yeah.

- All right. Well, this is awkward.

- Are you going to do that shower scene again?

- Yeah, of course. Nonna can't see that. [chuckles]

For an introvert, surprisingly,

I'm more comfortable in front of, like,

hundreds or thousands of people

than I am in front of one person.

Back in the day, I used to not get looked at in bars.

But now, women are chanting my name.

And I'm OK with that.

- You're still single, right, man?

- I've been talking to a couple.

But I'm more quality over quantity.

There's no, like, major, major contenders.

But I have a solid starting five.

It's funny now that I'm at my prime mentally, physically,

financially, I, um--

- You're picky now.

- I'm not that active in the streets.

When I was younger, I would just kind of

be in it just for looks.

And you know, now I'm kind of, like,

thinking about, like, the future.

It's almost like I know my worth.

You know what I mean?

Once you kind of, like, get into that mode,

the dating list becomes, like, a lot smaller.

- What are you looking for? Are you ready?

- Um, if it comes along, yeah. - Yeah? That's nice.

'Cause I haven't met anybody in a long time.

- [sighs]

Anyway, you want to see the sauna?

- My car's still there? Yeah.

- So this is the sauna. - Oh, wow.

- You ever been in a sauna? - No.

- Ma, you would love it. - Don't turn it on.

- I'm not turning it on. - It'll mess my hair up.

What are you doing? - [chuckling] Ma.

- Yeah, don't close it. - It doesn't go anywhere.

Look. It's just a piece of glass.

There you go. See?

- Like a spaceship. - Yeah.

All right, take care.

See you later. - Vin?

- Take care, Ma. - You turned it on?

- Bye. [chuckles] I'm going for a run.

- Vinny.

- ♪ My girl don't really want to see me ♪

♪ Whipping through my life in drift mode, nah, nah ♪

- I don't think I can keep doing this anymore.

[sniffles] - Let's go sit down.

- All right, honey. - You want to eat something?

- Come on, guys. - You're like--

- Take your phone, and let's go inside.

- [sobs] - Come on.

- I'm so stressed out. I lost so much weight.

[sniffles]

Never in a million years

did I think things were going to turn out like this.

It's so heartbreaking for me and I cry every day.

I need a tissue. - We got a situation, honey.

Maybe I should make her a sandwich.

Just looks like she hasn't eaten--

- Yeah, make her a sandwich. - In like a week.

Honey, I found the mortadellas.

- Don't you have whole wheat bread?

- No, no, no.

This--this--this gal hasn't eaten in like a week.

We need to give her the good bread.

[somber music]

No matter how bad your day is,

if somebody pushes over a little mortadella sandwich,

it's like pure love.

When I have a bad day, I have a sandwich.

- Thank you.

- I know you got a lot going on,

but at least you have Vinny

to help you with everything, right?

[tense note] - Oh.

[dramatic music]

Not only has it been bad with my dad,

so much has gone on with Vinny and I that--[sputters]

I don't even know where to begin.

I mean, Vin has not been home in weeks.

- Oh, [...]. - Why? What happened?

[dramatic music]

- Vin has not been home in weeks.

- Oh, [...]. - Why? What happened?

- I don't know.

He's saying that he's been mandated overtime.

But it's just weird to me.

Last summer, Vinny and I were so inseparable.

Like, he was always home with me and all the animals.

We were always going out. We were always together.

And now this summer, Vinny . is working hours a day,

seven days a week. That's not legal.

Literally, he'll work from, like, : a.m. to : p.m.

Then he'll go to a hotel. - For what?

- Because he's a Port Authority cop,

they put you up in a hotel.

And I'm like, are you-- is this mandatory

or are you just taking this overtime?

Mandatory [...] overtime every minute?

Come on.

I just don't believe him.

And I think he doesn't really

want to be around me right now.

- But last time we left off, you and Vin were totally good.

What happened?

- Um, so I saw Joe Old Bridge.

- Oh, my God, you saw Old Bridge.

Old Bridge is Angelina's former sidepiece.

- There is security footage of you

entering some gentleman's condo in Old Bridge

for the past few months.

- And probably the main reason she's divorced.

- So Vinny and I went to Headliner.

- Uh-huh.

- I see Joe, he kept staring at me.

I wanted to, like, say something to him

because I never had closure with Joe.

- Uh-oh.

This is not going to be good.

- Vinny went to the bathroom.

So Joe goes, hi, how are you, like, whatever.

We were just being nice. - Uh-huh.

- All of a sudden, Vin comes out.

He's like, what the [...] are you doing?

You don't talk to my girl.

So Vin went to grab my hand to walk away.

Joe goes, bam!

- Damn!

- And I'm like, What the [...]?

- Oh-h*.

This is some wild [...].

- So Joe got [...] yoked up by the bouncers.

- We thought Old Bridge was in the past.

- Joe was going, hey!

- Why is Old Bridge swinging on your new piece?

- He still really wants to be with me.

- Probably. He'd been fighting for the WAP for years.

- He wants this WAP again. - I'm sure he does.

- Vinny did not like that at all.

- So wait a second.

You and Vin, what's happening with that?

- Are you broken up?

- Mm.

- Bro.

- He said he wants to work it out with me.

- Work it out? - But he's never home.

[tense music]

- There's definitely trouble brewing

for Angelina right now.

- And there's the money issue.

- Oh, [...]. There's a money issue too?

Angelina is mentioning red flag...

- He won't help me pay property taxes.

- After red flag...

- He claims he has no money.

Then he gets a Porsche truck.

- After red flag.

- He's like, what does it matter if I'm saving something?

You should be happy for your man.

Which one is it?

Are you saving all your money living with me

or are you not and you're broke?

- There's money issues.

- The house is paid off.

But he wants me to put him on the deed.

- They're growing apart.

- You can't work hours a day, seven days a week.

- She's catching him in lies, she's saying.

- Every time I ask him a question

about his American Express bill, he's like,

it's in my locker at work.

I think about four months ago,

I bought Vin a Gucci fanny pack.

And then he returns it and he keeps the money

that it was supposed to be mine on his credit card.

- We are talking about fanny packs now.

- What would you do if he did this to you?

- Which part? There's, like, a lot of things!

- There's definitely trouble in paradise, for sure.

- Sometimes I'm like, why are you with me

if you hate me so much?

He's like, I don't know.

- Anj, this sounds like red flag central.

- I don't know what to do.

I really thought he was going to be my forever.

- It sounds just like your dad. You rushed into this one too.

- It's hard. I've been engaged four times.

Where is my Prince Charming?

- Anj, it's obvious it's over.

This engagement is now a disengagement.

- ♪ Looking on the bright side ♪

♪ I just wanna feel good vibes, good times ♪

- What is a Snooki night? You know what?

Let me Google this and see what it's really all about.

OK, Snooki night.

Looks like it is the Hudson Valley Renegades game.

So she's throwing out the first pitch.

- First pitch is a big deal.

- And then there's a Snooki look-alike contest.

- [chuckles]

- They're literally going to be

all Snookis all over the stadium.

- Everyone's gonna dress up like Snooki.

- I have to do the contest.

Nobody knows my meatball better than me.

- What are you going to wear?

- I'm going to dress up like old-school Snooki.

I mean, sometimes me and her even get,

like, confused for each other.

So I got this in the bag.

- You need big sunglasses.

- Get the [...] off. Get lost.

- Hoops.

- I'm doing a poof tonight.

- Are you going to do the Snooki slippers?

- %. I got arrested in the Snooki slippers.

I'm running everywhere.

No, no! - You're not. Come here.

- I need a cheetah print dress.

I got this.

Can you imagine mommy wearing this, CJ?

- No, I don't want to see you in that!

♪ ♪

- Sammi, when you having your first?

- Who the hell knows?

- Your vag*na opens up so big, and like--

- Dang. - What the hell?

The girls are getting a little too comfortable

with BDS right now.

- The amount of water that came out of me--

- Oh, gosh.

- I don't know if I pooped or if he's ready to come out.

- Oh, God.

- I was like, get it out!

- How much longer?

- ♪ Ooh, really feeling new ♪

♪ Putting on fancy things ♪

♪ Can we just be around ♪

♪ Everybody knows you're mine, so ♪

- So I'm back in Vegas

getting ready for another residency for Chippendales.

And I've just been in full training mode every day.

[knocking on door]

Yo! - Hey, here's the choocher.

- Ready to go for our run? - Yeah.

Meet out front actually. - All right, cool.

That's a lot of working out that goes into it.

So I love being close to Pauly because it's

nice to have a partner that keeps me motivated.

[motor revving]

[bassy hip-hop music]

- ♪ Park my whip, bang my [...] ♪

♪ Both doors open, so I shall hit ♪

- Bro, what are you doing? We're going for a run.

- Yeah, I'll follow you.

- Well, I thought you were working out.

I thought you're going to roll with me.

- Yeah, I'm going to work out my--my pedal, my foot.

I'll follow you.

- Let's go.

- There you go, buddy. Keep it going.

Come on, let's go, baby!

There you go.

Yes, sir!

Nice form! Nice form!

Come on, buddy, keep up!

It takes a lot of hard work, determination, dedication,

training to be a successful stripper in Las Vegas.

I'm proud of him.

Wonder how many calories we burned.

- We?

- ♪ Ah, stop, leaving the meetings alone ♪

♪ Me with a squeeze ♪

♪ I got no feelings involved ♪

- So the squad is on the way here.

- OK.

- Today is what's known as Snooki day.

Snooki is from Upstate New York,

and her home area is honoring her and having a Snooki night.

Hey! - Hi!

- Come on in.

The boys are in Vegas, so it's all ladies and BDS tonight.

Look who's here. Sam's back.

- Thank you so much.

Do you mind popping the trunk for me?

[upbeat music]

OK.

Hello! - Oh, my God. Hey, Deena.

- Are you ready for Snooki night?

- What do you got? - What do you have?

- Why do you always got stuff?

- Maybe I want to bring some matching t-shirts

to do a photo at the end of the night.

- Oh, that's cute.

- I'm not going to tell them,

but I have an entire Snooki costume in this box right now.

I'm going to look so much like Nicole

that they're going to ask me to throw out the fricking ball.

- I think I just saw on socials that we may be one shy today.

I think Angelina's had surgery yesterday.

- Oh.

- Hi, guys. It's Dr. Tutela.

So he's going to just let you know what we're doing today.

- Uh, Angelina's lost quite a bit of weight recently.

And it's caused her breast tissue

to kinda sag over the implant.

So we're gonna, you know, revise that and make it better.

- All right, guys. Stay tuned.

- She's wild.

You know what? Angelina has always got a lot going on.

She's obviously recovering, so she's probably not coming,

I don't think.

And today is no different.

I saw Angelina, and she told me that

the relationship between her biological dad has collapsed.

- Oh.

- She said that the relationship

wasn't even established yet

and he was asking inappropriate questions.

You know, can you do this for me?

Can you do that for me?

And so she was dead-ing the biological daddy.

- Oh, wow.

- And then it got to her fiancé.

She said that they've been growing apart over time.

So she was also dead-ing the fiancé.

- What?

[dramatic music]

Even though we don't always like each other,

I feel terrible across the board for Angelina.

Like, she was so excited to be engaged and to find her dad.

I just hope that she's OK.

- So wait, is she no longer fiancé with Vin .?

- I don't think so. - Wow.

[phone ringing] - Hello.

- Hi, Mr. Sorrentino. Your ride has arrived.

- Oh. It's happening. OK, guys. All right.

- Ready for Snooki night? - Let's do this.

- Yes.

- ♪ I remember being ♪

♪ Used to look at all the famous people in magazines ♪

♪ These celebrities are so lucky they live in the dream ♪

- Mom? - Hey.

- It's happening! - What's going on?

- It's Snooki night!

- Snooki night's every night. - That's true.

- [laughs]

- Mommy! - How are you doing?

- I'm so excited for tonight.

I think it's going to be so much fun.

I'm excited to be back in my hometown and see my mom.

It's like a big deal, I feel, because we used to work there.

You were an usher. - Mm-hmm.

- And then I did the food.

And I had to be on the lower end.

Because remember, if they put me in, like, the middle,

I couldn't see over the counter.

- [laughing]

- So they had to put me in, like, a box.

And I was like, hi.

And then every time I took their order,

I would have to step down and be like--

- I do remember that.

- I was working at the concession stand,

like selling, you know all the food, popcorn,

drinks, and everything.

Literally my best job ever. So much frickin' fun.

Do you have any pictures of me from Renegades?

- Yeah. It's in a box under there.

- Oh, this is my high school box.

That was me chugging beer.

That's me taking shots.

Oh, that's me funneling.

Power hour.

We would have a shot of vodka before homeroom.

We're drinking all night.

Another one of me chugging beer.

Did you ever look at these? - Of course I did.

- Because I'm drinking in a lot of them, and I'm underage.

- [chuckles] Wait, don't. Are you taking that with you?

- What, to show Giovanna? - [laughs]

- That I'm funneling?

Not going to lie, I'm, like, a little nervous.

I feel like it's like a lot of pressure and also,

like, I'm seeing people from my past.

Cheers to me!

So I don't know.

I'm a little nervous but also excited.

I always told them I'm going to be famous one day.

You watch. And they're like, yeah, OK, Nicole.

Now it's Snooki night at the Renegades.

- [laughing] - Told you, b*tch.

- Oh, my God. Who would have thought?

- I'm going to be the next Oprah.

- Let's get through tonight though first.

- Yeah.

- ♪ Whoa, that was saying my name ♪

♪ Saying my name ♪

- ♪ Oh, let's get this party started ♪

- Snooki night.

- Today's going to be a fun night.

- Mike, do you miss the boys? - I do.

- Well, you're one of the girls now.

So [...] them boys. - Girl power!

- [laughs] - Girls' night with Mike!

[upbeat music]

- Girls' night with Mike.

- Sammi, when are you having your first?

- Oh, I don't know. - [laughs]

- I love kids, but who the hell knows?

- It's all ladies and BDS tonight,

which is totally cool.

- I mean, like, the pregnancy part, like, you know,

your vag*na opens up so big.

And like-- - What the hell?

But the girls are getting a little too comfortable

with BDS right now.

- I had to, like, go on all fours like a dog.

- Oh, yeah.

- Had to do different positions.

I got such a bad contraction that, like,

the amount of water that came out of me,

and they had to get sponges. - Oh, God.

- So then I started feeling a lot of pressure down there.

And I said, I don't know if I pooped

or if he's ready to come out. - [laughs]

- I--I can't even process

what is coming out of Deena's mouth right now.

- And then when you have to push

the second time to get the--

- Ugh, the--oh, they don't tell you about that.

- The sac. - What sac?

- The placenta! - Yeah, the placenta.

- You have to push a second time.

The placenta is pretty big. - It is.

- Oh, God.

- They keep it. They--they put it to the side.

- Oh, God!

- Some people eat that [...].

- Oh, God!

- So I get sewn up.

They realize they-- they rip the placenta

and half of it's still in me. - Ugh!

- So after they sewed me up with Meilani,

they had to go back in and [...] pull it right back.

- Oh! - Oh, my God.

[upbeat music]

- Girls' night has-- has taken a turn.

- I was like, get it out!

- Oh.

- I was trying to push mine back in.

- Back in where?

Back in where?

How much longer? - [laughs] Mike, I forgot.

- You're going to start hitchhiking.

Really, I miss my boys at this particular moment.

- Snooki got her game coming up, right?

- Yeah.

- So he's going to be with all the girls.

- Yeah, you left him back there.

- I know.

But you know, some of us got to work and strip.

- Yep. I wonder how he's doing back there.

- I really have to go pee and I have to change my tampon.

- Oh, Nicole's house.

- Oh, my God. This is the Snooki house.

- Hello! Hey, guys!

Come on down!

Hey, Mike! Good to see you. - Hi. How are you?

- It's so good to see Snooki's mom, where Snooki was raised.

- Mike, are you hungry? - Oh, damn. All right.

And she had a ton of chicken fingers in her house as well.

It was amazing. I swear.

- I got you guys all Snooki jerseys.

This is what the whole team is wearing.

- Oh, my God. - Oh, I love that!

- Did you get my size? I am a in Versace.

[upbeat music stops]

all: Snooki night!

- Bye, Mommy.

- I love Nicole's jersey.

But I'm not going to need it.

I have my own Snooki outfit. Like, I'm excited.

This is what I've been waiting for.

- ♪ Running it, running it hype ♪

♪ Gonna need, gonna need hype ♪

- Oh, my God, look, Nicole!

- Whoo!

- There's a lot of people there.

- Nicole's here!

[fans screaming]

- Thank you.

- I'm kind of feeling this Snooki night.

- Who wants a bobblehead? - I want a bobblehead.

- Ooh!

- There's Snooki bobbleheads,

her Snooki Shop van is out front,

the players are wearing the jerseys.

- Snooki, Snooki, Snooki! - Hi.

- Love you, Snooki! - This is kind of iconic.

This is, like, a big deal.

- ♪ When I pull up, yeah, I said it, I said it ♪

[fans shouting] - Hi! [indistinct]

Love you! [fans screaming]

Love you!

I'm a little nervous because I have

to throw out the first pitch.

Now I'm even more nervous because there's people around.

And everyone's going to look at me and judge.

- Snooki!

- Good luck, boo.

- For tonight's first pitch,

please welcome to the field, Snooki!

[cheers and applause] - Stop!

- You got this!

- Get it, mama!

- Walking out to do the first pitch, I'm feeling anxious.

- She's ready for her pitch. - You're ready for this?

- I guess.

I don't want to look stupid at Snooki night.

I just really want to be able to, like,

throw it to the catcher and not embarrass myself.

- Hey, Snooki, hey! [cheers and applause]

[suspenseful music]

♪ ♪

- My heart is racing. There's a ton of people here.

Literally, everyone is looking at me.

And I feel like I'm going to throw up.

I can't breathe.

- Let's go, girl! - Come on, girl. You got it.

- I don't think I can do this.

- Oh, my God. She's frozen. - Oh, my goodness.

[heart pounding]

- I'm going to proclaim "Jersey Shore" day.

- Let's go! We got our own day!

- It's Jers-day in Atlantic City.

And I'm stripping.

- [...] you too!

- Oh, my God. Chris L texted her!

- He's like, if you want to have a baby,

I don't mind giving you my sperm.

- What?