07x21 - The Bunker

[bunniefuu]

- ♪ MTV ♪

- When they realize it ain't my house,

it's gonna be hella awkward!

I need to find a home to house my roommates

and pretend that it's my home

because I don't want them in my actual home.

Squad goals.

[energetic music]

- Me, Ashley, Angelina's burner account.

Oh, my God.

Vinny . is outing Angelina for her ghost accounts.

- And I want to love you.

And I know deep down somewhere, you love me, too.

- Vegas. - We're in Vegas.

- Ready for the big game.

We're actually going to the most

exclusive game on the planet.

- That's what I'm saying.

It's just a flag football game.

But it was really cool to see how excited they are

to come to my game.

- We're about to be at your house, bro.

- Is this like a compound?

Where do you go in?

- Welcome to my home. - What the f*ck?

[upbeat music]

- Yeah, buddy!

- Party's here!

- The Situation is under construction.

- We're so classy now.

- On the seventh day, it'll be lit.

- Get the frig out of here, you crazy!

- Um, hello?

- I'm still the sweetest b*tch you'll ever meet.

♪ ♪

[upbeat music]

- ♪ I don't care when the people stare ♪

- I'm glad you guys love my home.

- Yo, I feel like positive vibes only up in here, man.

- That's what's up. - It's a beautiful home.

This house isn't giving Pauly vibes at all.

[tense music]

It's just all us.

I think you got more pictures than I do of my kids.

- Oh, my God.

Speaking of kids, I had the scariest moment of my life.

It was a normal Thursday night dinner situation.

And the next thing you know it, we heard Romeo cough.

- [coughing]

- [indistinct]

- I immediately jump up because I assume it's a problem.

- Oh, he's choking, he's choking.

- Once Romeo hunched over,

I knew it was a f*cking emergency.

First thing was slap his back, and then heard a cry.

- That's good.

- Which means there's a little bit of air.

But I knew Lauren was going where

the anti-choking device was.

And within seconds, she was coming back.

- Oh, my God.

- [coughing]

[crying] - That came out.

[indistinct]

- Me and my wife, we didn't hesitate.

We were also prepared in our home

with an anti-choking device.

We worked in tandem, and we saved our child's life.

Honey, that was probably one of the scariest things

that we've ever had.

- No, you guys handled it perfectly.

- I would have freaked out.

- Vinny, do you have a choking device?

- My hand. I do that sh*t every night.

- So weird.

- Oh, my gosh, Vinny.

So funny.

- What's the plan?

- We're gonna have a nice iconic Las Vegas night.

We're gonna hit the Stratosphere.

- What's the Stratosphere?

- It's a restaurant, right? - It's a restaurant.

- Yeah. - Let's do this.

- Hold on a second.

[bottle hissing]

[upbeat music]

- I think threesomes are overrated.

- Uh, it depends.

- So I see Vinny posted this podcast link.

And I want to get ready,

and I always listen to podcasts when I get ready,

especially the crime ones when, like, someone dies.

Soothes my soul.

- So what do you look for?

- First of all, like, less bodies.

- Oh, my God! - Oh, there you are.

- Did you listen to the podcast?

- Not all of it. - Wait. What happened?

- Ugh! They got into, like, body count.

- Ew.

- And now we're talking about threesomes.

- Freak.

I know he's gonna talk raunchy. That's just Vinny.

- Now I'm judging. - Ooh.

Maybe you should say something.

When Vinny says, like, sexual things,

I immediately go into, like, ignore mode.

- Oh! - Oh, sh*t.

- When am I getting cancelled?

- Did you hear Jenni talking sh*t?

- No, I heard little bits and pieces.

- I'm too hangry right now. We'll talk at dinner.

- God. Lighten up.

- ♪ So long I've waited for a chance to shine ♪

♪ I've been so patient ♪

[phone ringing]

♪ I've been so patient ♪

- Your call has been forwarded to voicemail.

The person you're trying to reach is not available.

- I'm heading to the airport, to Los Angeles.

Hey, what's up, bro?

I wish I was there with you guys in Vegas.

I got to handle this speaking engagement.

I got this opportunity to speak

at Lamar Odom's treatment center.

Lamar could definitely see a lot of similarities

in our journey of addiction.

I just wanted to check in and say what's up to everybody,

see how everyone's doing.

I definitely wish I was with the roommates

right now in Vegas.

but my job now is giving back to people that need help.

And if I could reach one person with my story,

you know, that would be amazing.

- ♪ Yeah, I'm gonna give it to you ♪

- Come on, boys.

- I'm ready for that seafood tower.

Let's go. - Yeah, let's go.

- All right. We're in Vegas for the big game.

all: Vegas!

- Oh, I love it.

- Y'all, I'm still gonna get that seafood tower tonight.

[laughter]

- Can I sit with you?

- Oh, you weren't talking to me?

- Oh, my God. "Silly women." - Oh, my God.

I actually find it really fun pissing Jenni off.

- Hmm? - What's that tattoo?

[laughter]

- But that's what me and Jenni do.

We give each other sh*t.

We roast each other

and it feels like it's all in good fun.

- So there's the Strat, guys. That red thing.

- Oh, it goes all the way up.

- Well, that's where the restaurant is.

- You guys ready for this? - Yes.

- Let's go. The big game. - Yo!

We in town for the big game!

I'm really excited to take my roomies to the Stratosphere

because it's a very Vegas-y thing to do.

It's literally higher than anything else in Las Vegas.

- We're going out here? - Oh, sh*t.

- Beautiful view.

- As high as you could be in Vegas.

- I'm pretty sure Mike's been the highest

you could be in Vegas.

[Pauly laughs] both: Oh!

- That's probably true, though.

- I thought somebody spit on my lip.

- It's raining.

- Ooh, sounds like my Friday night.

- Ew. - Oh, my God.

- Right, Jenni? - Oy.

- What are we doing now?

- You know that I've like, never came at a girl before.

- Oh, really? - Yeah.

- Feel me up, f*ck it.

[laughter]

- Good God.

- Let's go eat. - All right.

Ooh, look how pretty. - Wow.

- That is beautiful. - Dope view, right?

- Yeah. - Thanks for taking us here.

- Yeah, of course. I like the view.

- I can see my house from here in New York.

- I just got really dizzy.

- The restaurant rotates.

We're spinning right now.

- No, I feel really dizzy right now.

- Oh, then maybe that's why I feel weird.

- I feel dizzy right now.

- We're f*cking moving.

Nobody f*cking told me that.

- You won't even notice it.

- I'm noticing it right now.

I have the worst...

I don't feel well.

Motion sickness since I was a baby.

Can they stop it?

- She's motion sick and she's scared of heights.

Yikes. I forgot.

[chuckles]

- Did you take your Zofran?

- I did. It's not working.

- Oh, no. - Jenni's gonna die.

- This reminds me of when Vinny drove the damn desert carts.

- I was driving too careful.

- He was driving like this.

And, like, stop, go, stop, go.

Never letting anyone drive again.

- I can't win with you.

Like, if I was going too hard, you would have complained.

- Listen, I'm not one of your -year-olds.

- I don't like -year-olds, girl.

- Based on the podcast. [Snooki gasps]

- I said she'd probably be less ran through.

- Oh, sh*t. - Because that's better.

- Look at those buns. - Hun.

- They haven't been ran through.

- I did not say that. - You said "young."

- She's putting words in my mouth.

- Oh, wow, you want some smoke.

Oh, damn.

Shots fired. She's coming for Vinny now.

- ♪ You should lock your door ♪

- Hello.

- Welcome to Top of the World. Can I fill you up?

- [laughs]

- "Fill me up."

[laughs]

- I would like to get the seafood tower.

- OK. - Can I do the -ounce filet?

- Also the BLT wedge.

Look at this fear. - I'm not looking.

- The crab and spinach artichoke stuffed mushrooms.

- Oh, my God. Stop it.

- Oh, my God. - This looks amazing.

- Put those oysters right in front of Jenni.

- What smells? - That's a crab mushroom.

- The smell is making me sweat.

- Jenni's getting taken out.

- It'll be a cool experience if Jenni pukes at the table.

- I'm so focused on the food right now,

I can't even tell we spinning.

- Holy sh*t.

This asparagus is the size of Drake's d*ck.

- I can't even explain how sick I am right now.

And Vinny's just making it so much worse.

- Oh, my God. - Oh, my God.

- I'm like, questioning you now.

[Vinnie laughs]

- Just ignore him, Jen.

Vinny is literally obsessed with Drake's p*nis.

- Did you see Drake's d*ck today?

- Yeah.

- It's so big. [laughter]

- Did you guys see Drake's d*ck?

- I don't know. I can't stop watching the video.

- Oh, my God! - Oh, my God!

- Goodbye. - Disgusting.

- It's his screensaver on his phone.

- Vinny's into Drake's p*nis.

- The way that it was sitting, it looked weird.

- [gasps] Angelina texted me.

- [gasps] - Nuh-uh.

- She's coming tomorrow morning with Deena.

We're finally hearing from Angelina after seeing

Angelina airing out all of her sh*t about ..

[tense dramatic music]

Oh, sh*t.

- Angelina may come.

She may be positive.

- Hopefully, she's in great spirits

and, um, we have a good trip.

- The other day, Vinny sent me a really interesting--

- [laughing] Oh, my God. Shut up.

- "Would you rather?" - Oh, yeah, yeah.

- It was like one of those crazy ones.

Like, would you rather like suck three guys off

or, like, get a train ran on you, like, continuously?

- Oh, my God. - Continuously?

- Sounds like Vinny's Friday night.

- Vinny said he wanted to do both.

[laughter]

- Would you rather have to watch your parents

have sex the rest of your life or join in once

to make it stop? [all groaning]

- Oh, my God!

- I would not rather, OK?

- Oh, my. That is sick.

- I don't like that one.

That sh*t is savage.

- What would you do? - Watch.

- I'd have to watch.

- You'd get used to it.

- [laughs] You just go numb to it.

[laughter]

- All our dinner conversations are--

- Go, Mom. [laughter]

- Shall I say, very thought-provoking?

- Would you rather [bleep] a goat

and no one ever finds out about it?

Or you don't actually [bleep] a goat,

but everyone that you meet is convinced

that you [bleep] a goat.

[goat bleating]

- Wow. - That's a good one.

[laughter]

- I don't think I'd [bleep] a goat.

I don't care.

I'll let you think I [bleep] the goat.

- Yeah, I'm definitely clapping some goat cheeks today.

- He's definitely a goat cheese--

- Goat cheese. - Goat cheese.

- He's a goat cheese [bleep].

- It's gotten gross.

- The goat has to consent, though.

- God, I hate you.

- Tomorrow, the breakfast table spins.

- Overall, the dinner at the Stratosphere

was literally out of this world.

The food was amazing. It was so good.

- Well, should we hit it? - Yeah, let's get it.

- Dinner at the Strat was a no-go for me.

- What a cool experience, though.

At least we could say we did it.

- Pauly, next time, a restaurant that doesn't spin.

- All right.

- ♪ I'm about to seize the day ♪

- I'm already nauseous.

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

- Oh, we're here.

- I still feel like I'm moving.

I'm stuffed.

- So thankful for that conversation at dinner.

- First day in Vegas and it is popping.

Well, Deena's coming tomorrow, and so is Ange.

Tomorrow should be an eventful situation.

Good night, guys. - See you guys tomorrow.

- All right, good night. Thanks, Pauly.

- Thanks, Pauly. - You're welcome.

- Good night. - Good night.

- I've never been so excited to go to sleep.

- So I think my plan is working.

I think I got them fooled.

My plan was to actually not stay in this home,

but to pretend that I'm staying in this home.

So I picked a bedroom that is actually almost detached.

And it has a nice little escape route.

[upbeat suspenseful music]

It's time to go back to my real house.

♪ ♪

[dramatic music]

♪ ♪

Now I'm going home.

Can't believe they actually thought

this was gonna be my house.

See ya.

- Where are we, meatballs?

- Guys. - I'm not kidding anymore.

- This bunker is going to be fricking insane.

- We're going down the hole! This is it!

- Hello? Bye, aliens.

- I was losing my daughter.

So I was like, wow.

I feel like with this, I'm giving back to somebody.

At the end of the day,

she's gonna have to deal with the sh*t that I've done.

[upbeat music]

- ♪ Yeah, yeah ♪

♪ ♪

- Hey, you.

How are you today?

- [sighs] Oh, my gosh.

I'm up. - I almost forgot where I was.

Pretending to live this double life stuff,

I don't know how people have double lives.

- It's exhausting. - Oh, my goodness.

Man, it's tough.

They were asking me so many questions.

They were asking me about you. - Oh, man.

Where did they think I am?

- Well, I had to tell them that you're staying

at your friend's house. - Oh, OK.

- This whole thing is sketchy. It's hard.

It's hard telling lies.

I better get over there, though, because I need

to get there before they wake up.

Bye, my love. - Bye, my love.

[Elaine Faye's "You Know"]

♪ Every time you walk into the room ♪

♪ You bring a joy with you ♪

- OK, so I'm being really quiet because

I'm actually in Vegas right now.

I just woke up.

And I had to bring my fertility medicines here.

I'm on Vegas time right now.

And I have to wake up really early

because I have to maintain my shots on East Coast time.

But now I have to do another shot.

Nobody knows what I've been going through.

It's really just kept between me and Justin.

I'm looking to get pregnant, and I'm struggling with that.

So going through the IVF process

will hopefully help me with this situation.

It's been hard to keep this a secret.

But also, I don't want to tell everybody we're trying,

and then have that letdown if we can't get pregnant.

It's weird. Like, you're hopeful,

but you're also scared at the same time for, like,

the true outcome.

♪ ♪

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

- I'm feeling refreshed.

All right.

I got to make it look like I actually slept here.

I believe they call that perfect timing.

[chuckles]

[upbeat music]

- ♪ You're living your best life ♪

- Thank you.

- ♪ So hold your hands, you going hard all night ♪

[phone ringing]

- Hey. - Hey. Did you land?

- Yeah, I landed.

I'm actually getting on the tram right now.

Hi, Deeners.

- Hey!

- I'm very happy that I made it to Vegas.

I know everyone thought I wasn't going to.

But I made it.

I don't even know what the f*ck I have.

I don't-- I threw everything in a bag.

I just had a lot of stuff to talk about with Vinny ..

And I really just had to get my sh*t together

before this trip.

- How did you travel with this much--

- I don't know. I want to die.

- This is heavy as sh*t.

It's like you have a body in it.

♪ ♪

- All right, see what we got in here.

All right, where are the pots?

Where are the pans?

Pauly's kitchen is organized.

But there's also these peculiar photos

of where things should go when you're done using them,

which is kind of odd.

There's a--is that a pot?

- Hey. Good morning, my guy.

- What up, fam? - How'd you sleep?

- Good. - You like the bed?

- Yeah. - Room's good?

- It's dope. I'm trying to cook some breakfast, though.

- Oh, no doubt, no doubt.

- I can't really find where the pans is at.

- I keep moving them.

Noticed my house cleaner keeps moving them.

I didn't like where I had them last time.

- Pauly's kitchen is organized,

but he doesn't seem to know where things are.

- I remember, I put them here. - OK. All right.

And you don't mind, uh,

I start to whip it up in the kitchen, right?

- I hope you're hungry. - OK.

- [laughs] Look at this chooch with his glasses.

[laughs]

- Ever heard of LASIK?

- Yeah. You got it, like, six times.

- [laughs] - All right.

- You played me, man. You played me in my own house.

♪ ♪

- I'm excited to see Pauly's house.

All I've seen was, like, it on TV.

And I'm shocked he's even letting us stay there.

- The way we are. - Especially you.

- Especially me.

- With the freaking-- when you get drunk,

throwing cake all over the place.

- Stop it! [all groaning]

- What a waste of cake.

both: What a waste of cake.

[drumming] - What a waste of cake.

- I'm excited to go to the big game with everyone.

I'm not, like, a big Swiftie. But I like the Kelce brothers.

- No one says one thing to her when she switches boyfriends

like she switches her underwear.

- She's Taylor Swift, Ang.

- I know. She's allowed and I'm not.

I know.

Imagine I came back, and I'm like,

oh, I'm dating somebody new.

You guys would be like, what the f*ck?

- I'd be like, OK, at least you're being honest about it.

- I just don't want to answer too many questions.

- No. Listen, I never ask you anything.

- I love that you don't.

And I have to appreciate that about you.

- Angelina and . need a lesson

in how to have a healthy relationship,

because airing your sh*t out on social media is not it.

This doesn't look like a neighborhood

Pauly would live in. - No.

Does his house looks big?

- No. Pauly's house is, like, ginormous.

Like, I always thought that Pauly

had a helicopter pad outside.

[upbeat music]

- Is this it?

This is it.

This isn't it.

- No way.

- This is not Pauly's house. - This is definitely not.

- Hey, what's up, guys? - Hello!

- How are you? - Welcome to my home.

- Looks so different on TV.

- How was your flight?

- Where's my meatball?

I missed you. - How was your flight?

- It was great.

- You guys see Drake's d*ck?

- Oh, my God.

- Did we get Drake's d*ck to sign a release?

- [laughs]

- You have white stuff on your face.

Probably Drake's d*ck. Right there.

[laughter]

- You got sh*t on your lip.

- ♪ Your face pressed up on the window ♪

♪ Condensation up in my wet nose ♪

♪ Will you let me in ♪

♪ It's so cold ♪

- Today's is the first time I'm gonna

be meeting Lamar in person.

I'm really excited to be here.

You know, I want to prove to my roommates and my friends

that I'm not the way I used to be.

I don't even know who that person was.

- Ronnie. - Hey. What's up, Lamar?

- What's up, my guy? - How are you doing?

Nice to meet you.

I'm on a path to positivity.

- Welcome to Vanity. - Thank you, man.

Appreciate it. Thank you for having me.

- Celebrate sobriety. - Yes. [chuckles]

And you know, I just want peace and happiness.

And that's what I want to bring to people's lives.

Thank you for having me. I appreciate it.

- God is good. - Yes.

You know, I've obviously heard about your struggles

through the media and stuff like that.

We all have our own stories.

- I used to get really high, bro.

- Yeah.

- Then it one day came to a halt

when I was going through a divorce

and I went to the Bunny Ranch, put $, down.

I got there, took a drink.

I woke up three days later.

I had strokes and six heart attacks when I was under.

- Oh, my God.

I'm lucky that I never had a health scare.

You know, that's a blessing.

- I think when that happened, it was like, what I do now?

Like, what's gonna be my purpose?

I think my purpose is to like,

just let everybody know that drugs ain't the way.

- Like I said, we all have our own story.

We all have our own journey. - Yeah.

- And I definitely want to help other people.

- Yeah.

- I know people listen to me and they can relate to me.

- Yeah.

- So I think if they know that I'm human

and I hurt and I go through struggles like everyone else,

but I can come back from them, I think that's something

that they would want to hear.

I want to be able to connect with someone

and have them be like, I don't want

to get to that place, kind of preventing them

from getting to that rock bottom.

Actions speak louder than words.

And everyone can say, I want to get better,

I want to do better.

But for me to actually show it?

- Got to stick to it. - Exactly.

I think that'll mean a lot. - I know it's scary. Yeah.

- My rock bottom was definitely two years ago,

you know, when the last time I got into trouble.

I lost everything, you know? I lost my job.

I almost lost my daughter. I ended up losing my house.

Everything I loved and cherished was gone.

I want to start by apologizing to you guys for the things

that I've done that have affected you.

Feeling like that is a feeling

that I never want to feel again.

- You know, since , it's been more ODs

than deaths in World w*r I, World w*r II,

and Vietnam combined.

- I believe it.

- That's why I partnered up with Manny here.

- Yeah. - To try to save lives.

- Yeah.

- Yeah, no, that's definitely what I want to do.

- ♪ Let me, let me do, do ♪

♪ Everything I do, I do it for the show now ♪

- Oh, tater tots. - Taters.

- Thanks, guys.

Thank you for cooking. - Thank you.

- Yeah, thank you.

- This is really good bacon, whoever--who made it?

Vinny? - Thanks, guys.

I really appreciate it.

- He really knows how to handle meat.

[Vinnie laughs] - He told me he wants--

he doesn't want to be alone anymore.

- Oh! - You're just saying that.

- I don't think you're ready to settle.

- I know I am. - I don't know about that.

- That podcast made me realize that as picky as you are,

you have, like, one foot out the door,

just in case something better comes along.

- Yeah.

- You know that that's a comedy podcast, right? Like--

- There's nothing comedy about that.

[Mike gasps]

- The fun part about doing podcasts

is that, like, it's not produced.

You know, I push a lot of buttons.

It's like you're watching friends have a conversation.

Real, raw, and uncensored.

That's why I love podcasts, and my favorite podcasts do that.

- Ang, how's the new house?

[all exclaiming]

[laughter]

- What do you mean "new house?"

- The last time we-- - No. I didn't get that one.

I have been thinking about downsizing for a while now.

I literally bought this house

thinking that I was gonna have a family in this house.

Like, I see, like school buses pulling up in front

of the f*cking house at : a.m. every morning

and I get upset.

I don't have kids.

This is a house I feel like for, like,

people that have kids.

I might change my mind. - Oh, the Marlboro one?

- I thought you put money on it.

- No, I didn't put money on it. - She lied to us.

- I'm getting a townhouse. - Nice.

Where? - It's gonna be a townhouse.

- That's perfect.

- I think she wants to downsize.

- No. I put a check down and it bounced.

- It bounced? [laughter]

- No, I didn't. - Oh, God.

I'm no financial advisor.

- Mike "The Situation" Sorrentino pleaded guilty

to filing false tax documents.

- But-- - You know why it bounced?

- Insufficient funds.

- I don't think that's a good situation.

- No.

Because I didn't put the money in that account for that check.

I suck at writing checks,

and I suck at everything about checks because I'm an idiot.

- Because normally, there's, like, contracts

and this is how much I put down.

- No, because you're supposed to put down a certain amount

for this, like, it's all new construction or whatever.

It's better off for me. Because it was God saying no.

It's a sign definitely that the check bounced,

because it didn't just f*ck up once.

It was a two-time thing,

where the first time I wrote it wrong,

and then the second time it bounced.

That's God saying, Angelina, no, we're out.

Don't go there.

- Ange, I did see on social medias this week

that your significant other was besmirching you.

I mean, as far as I know, that's not normal.

- Yeah, I'd rather not talk about it.

- OK. - Until I feel--

until I feel comfortable.

- I think Angelina just doesn't want to hear

what people have to say because she knows she's in the wrong.

- We're handling it on-- on our own and...

- OK. - That's all I'm saying.

- OK.

- We're just figuring out what works for us right now.

And I don't really want to talk about Vinny and I.

- Is that why you have no ring on?

- Well, yeah. - Oh, God.

- We're back and forth. Like, we're back and forth.

Sometimes I do need him.

Sometimes I do need him to help me.

[low pitched] I don't really want to talk

about Vinny and I.

He is, like, a help with the animals.

And, like, he'll help me sometimes.

- But you can't stay with someone just because they're--

- I know that. I know that.

- My best relationship advice for Angelina

is get a housekeeper.

- There is caring there.

I've been with this kid for two years.

It was like four hours, he wasn't home.

Exactly. Everybody's different.

Like an idiot.

I mean, I was with this kid for two years.

Well, because I was upset.

I don't know what the outcome is going to be.

- Woof! What a breakfast.

- What a breakfast. - Yeah.

- ♪ I do what I want, I'm a boss, boss ♪

♪ Got my own job, no rules, I'm bad ♪

♪ I'm bad ♪

♪ See you try to get like me, make me laugh ♪

♪ Make me laugh ♪

♪ I'ma pull up on them with a new bag ♪

♪ Like ha-ha, I do what I want ♪

- Enough about dicks.

Now that Deener's here...

- I'm here, b*tches.

- The meatballs got a meatball day planned.

- I'm good.

- Well, you're going. - No, this is happening.

- You're f*cking going. - Ew.

Me and Deena always talk about the end of the world.

We want to be prepared.

If it's the end of the world, don't even get close to me.

I--I will k*ll someone.

- This is, like, one of our passions.

- I'm not great with g*ns.

So I feel like if someone's coming at me,

I'm chopping your ba*ls off.

That's what's happening.

So everybody's got to pack your bags

because we're staying somewhere.

- Pack for overnight.

- I think it is so rude.

I invite them to my fake home.

And now they don't want to spend the night.

- Are we going to a hotel?

- Just pack a little bag for overnight.

To "Vegas bunkers."

- "Vegas bunkers."

So we are prepping our roommates.

So then when sh*t hits the fan,

they can say, thank you, meatballs, for preparing us.

- ♪ I got the g*ns, I got the g*ns ♪

- This is weird.

- Underwear, sweatshirt.

I'm nervous.

I got to hide my fertility medicine.

Wait, how am I gonna make this work?

I have shots to do in the morning.

I'm, like, freaking out internally.

This is all I got. This is what I'm working with.

- I don't know where I'm going.

- I know I'm gonna need some hairspray.

- Oh, you're gonna love it.

- Oh.

I don't trust these hoes.

Mm-mm. I'm scared.

- Pauly's new house doesn't have ice.

Pauly! Where's the ice?

- Oh, my ice machine is broken.

- Broken? - Mm-hmm.

[mechanical whirring]

- You got to be sh1tting me.

- Mike. - What's happening?

- What's up, mang?

What's good, what's good? - Getting ready.

What's happening, y'all? Y'all packed and ready to go.

- I'm just like--

I'm feeling like a type of way right now.

- Why?

- I invited everybody to the house.

- And they leaving already.

- And then now we're going on a trip

and not staying at my house.

- I know. When you go to other people's houses,

you don't leave.

You know what I mean? - Yeah.

- Pauly's the richest out of all of us.

How does he not have ice?

- And they're sh1tting on my house right now.

- Oh, my gosh. There's a bug in Pauly's house.

- Ew. Goodbye.

- And there's freaking lipstick on this.

I'm starting to put two and two together.

This is not Pauly's house.

And I'm starting to think--

both: This is an Airbnb.

- This is not Pauly's house.

- I just heard that you guys have been talking about me?

- This is an Airbnb. Whose lipstick?

- Pauly, this is not your house.

- What are you talking about? - Whose lipstick is this?

- That's the most ridiculous sh*t I've ever heard.

- This is literally a prank. - Then who cleans?

- I extended an invitation... - This is not your house.

- Welcome you into my home.

- Pauly, you would never have bugs on your counter.

- There was a bug crawling over here.

- You would have ice.

- See, this is exactly why

I don't invite them to my actual house.

They're too critical.

- You moved next to a church?

- Yeah, because you need Jesus.

- Who's your neighbors?

- Gilbert is next door, and he has one leg.

- [chuckling] Gilbert? With one leg?

Pauly's, like, taking this prank to another level now.

- They're talking about you.

- I think they're judging my house.

- I know. - This doesn't look Pauly.

At all. - I like the house, frankly.

- Yeah, me too.

- We love your house.

- I'm starting to think they're judging my house.

I'm a little bit nervous that Deena and Nicole are on to me.

So I'm gonna have to figure out something.

- I think this house is very nice.

- Thank you. I'm glad that somepeople like it.

- All right, let's go.

- Oh, is that your jacket? - [chuckles]

- It's a trip within a trip.

That's not your truck, Pauly. - [chuckling] Yes, it is.

[car horn honks] - What's up with Pauly?

[car horn honks]

- Oh, sh*t. - Ah! Jesus Christ.

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

- Ooh, I love it in the back.

- Oh, my God. Who's got snacks?

- [laughs]

- We're here, friends. - We're here.

- The meatball sleepover.

- Where did you take us?

- Welcome to the meatball sleepover.

- He's in a tube.

- I would eat anything if I'm starving.

- Would you eat me? - I would.

I would eat your a*s.

- Everything, and we leave such a horrible trail behind us.

Even though I'm on a television show,

I go through the same struggles that they go through.

You guys, commend yourselves because you're here.

And you're doing it.

- ♪ So let's go, go ♪

♪ Because my life's not better ♪

- You know what you're gonna say?

- I wrote it down, and then I put it into my phone.

- Yeah.

- So I have a little-- well, a lot, but.

I'm about to speaking at Lamar Odom's recovery center,

and my story is basically out there.

You know, it's just my opportunity to tell my truth

- ♪ I felt it, but couldn't say ♪

- First time I went to treatment,

I wasn't really ready to change yet.

And the second time, you know, a lot more consequences

and repercussions for my actions,

and it forced me to make a change.

It was either I change who I am or I lose everything.

- ♪ Had our parts to play ♪

- Artwork, let me tell you the history on that.

Celebrities who've died. - OK.

- Of drugs and alcohol are on the clinical side.

- Yeah.

- All the sober ones are on the group side.

- The group side? OK.

- Like, Eminem, he's in the program.

- Like the before and after.

I want to be able to connect with these people in treatment.

It's important for us to realize we have a voice,

we have a platform, we were given an opportunity,

you know, a blessing that a lot of people don't.

Might as well do something good with it.

- I got a little treat for y'all.

[all chuckle]

- Y'all might know my friend, Ronnie Ortiz.

My man. [cheers and applause]

- Hi, guys.

I'm nervous about giving my speech.

But I feel like it's my journey,

so it should be easy to tell.

And I want to help other people.

I'm gonna sit, if you don't mind.

I'm short anyway, so you can't see me regardless.

[laughter] It's fine.

But now the nerves are starting to hit me.

Some people do know me from "Jersey Shore."

Some of you will get to know me today through my story.

Let's see, where do I begin?

I'm raised by a single mother.

My father was an addict.

So obviously, it ran in my blood.

So I basically had to move out on my own.

I was or . That's when I started to drink.

You know, I was working, but I was drinking.

I was myself a functioning alcoholic.

I wasn't at that point yet where

I was ready to say it was me.

It was like, oh, it's because of where I'm living.

So what did I do?

I f*cking moved across country to California.

But you are where you are.

So I basically just took my habits from one coast

and I moved it to the other coast,

and moved to Vegas because my daughter was gonna be born.

You know, we all want to say to ourselves,

I won't do it because of my child.

You have to do it for yourself.

A big part about growing is that you have to self-reflect

and see where you made your mistakes

and where you went wrong and how you can grow from them

and learn from them.

Well, my father, like I said, is a recovering addict.

He helped me check into my first treatment center.

In my mind, it was like, I did my days,

I got this sh*t figured out.

But it was kind of like a build-up.

Something big happened, you know,

and I got in trouble with the law.

Then I got a phone call that I was losing my daughter.

So I was like, wow.

And unfortunately, she was there

to see my actions that day when everything went down.

And when I tried to talk to her,

she wouldn't even look at me.

That was so heartbreaking to me.

And at that point, it was like, I can't live this moment again.

You know, feeling Ariana's disappointment,

I feel like I failed, because as a parent,

your job is to protect your child.

[smacking sounds] - That's gross.

[laughter]

- That's something I should have protected her from,

and I didn't.

Because at the end of the day,

she's going to have to deal with the sh*t

that I've done growing up.

And I don't want to put that on her.

I want to break the pattern of what I had to deal with.

[somber music]

♪ ♪

[upbeat music]

- ♪ You always says that you don't ♪

♪ Want me treating you bad ♪

♪ ♪

- Are the boys even behind us anymore?

- Probably not. - No.

I bet you they went for food or some [bleep].

- Let me get a double-double. - Large fry.

- Large fry. - Chocolate shake.

- Chocolate shake.

Let's dig in.

♪ ♪

- Yeah, I'm excited for the big game, fellas.

Glad you guys came out. - Me, too.

- Oh, hell, yeah.

- Tomorrow is my flag football game.

And the roomies are so excited for it.

- Listen, it's not every day we can come out to Vegas,

see you, go to the big game. - Yeah.

- First of all, I'm surprised that Pauly had enough tickets

to invite us to the big game.

DJ Pauly D is a baller.

- Yeah. I'm glad you guys are available.

- And to be honest with you,

this was a quality decision, boys.

- Mm-hmm. - Good stop.

- Yeah. We don't know what the hell they got over there.

- Where are we, meatballs? I'm not kidding anymore.

- We're pulling up in a little bit.

- Where are we?

It's like the middle of nowhere.

- We're here, friends. - We're here! Welcome.

[all cheer] - Where is here?

- The meatball sleepover.

- Where did you take us?

- Yours is lighter than mine, so I can just help you.

- And Jenni with her big-a*s luggage.

- We're close, I swear.

- So I'm like, you know what, Jenni?

You've been good to me.

- Ladies, we're right-- - Listen--

- Oh, I'm sinking! Is this quicksand?

- Sometimes you have to walk a distance to feel safe.

- I'll pull it for you. Let's go.

- Is that poop? That was Jenni's suitcase.

[all exclaiming] [laughs]

- Ah, damn it! - What sh*t is that?

- You f*cking ran my luggage through sh*t!

- Is it dog poop?

- What the f*ck did you f*cking sign us up to?

- It's very important to be prepared

because there's a lot of stuff going on.

Aliens just showing up.

Government saying that there's aliens.

Then all of a sudden, all these people see aliens.

Some people go missing,

disappeared off the face of the Earth.

There's aliens.

Not only that, there's a hole in the sun.

- Go in the hole, Ang.

- I've heard that before.

We're rolling up to what looks like a cave of wonders.

- We're going down the hole!

This is it! - Hello?

- Where the f*ck are you taking me?

- Bye, aliens.

- Oh, my God. I'm actually, like, panicking.

I'm never agreeing to anything ever again.

- ♪ I can get over you ♪

♪ This time I'm trying ♪

♪ I tried to ♪

- We're going down the hole! This is it!

- Oh, my God. I'm actually like, panicking.

- Where are we right now?

- Oh, I see the elevator. - What?

- Welcome to the meatball sleepover.

- What the-- - In our underground bunker!

- What in the--

- How the f*ck is this thing down here?

- We're, like, flights underground right now.

How does this even exist?

- Look at us, prepared for the apocalypse.

- I can't even comprehend this right now.

This bunker is insane.

- I love this meatball day.

- Oh, sh*t! This is my room.

- What? - I love it here.

- There's a kitchen. There's a bar.

There's multiple bedrooms with bathrooms attached.

- Oh, a movie theater!

- There's a satellite phone.

- This is so fricking cool.

- [gasps] An alien.

Now we're all saved.

- Oh, wait, atomic c*ck.

- I feel like this is the place to be if sh*t goes down.

[door slams]

- There's pizza in a tube? - Tube?

- Listen, if we're starving to death, we're eating that.

- I would eat anything if I'm starving.

- Would you eat me, Sam? - No, I wouldn't.

- I would.

I would eat your a*s.

- Oh, my God.

I--does that mean I'm fat?

You would be next.

You got the a*s also.

- No, I don't got the a*s.

- Yes, you do.

- I don't have the a*s.

[upbeat music]

- What in the world? Where are we?

- What the f*ck?

- I guess it's through here.

- Well, you're going into a cave, man.

- What the hell? - Yo, man.

What is this place? - Where are we?

- What the hell?

- Honestly, this place is impressive.

- This is bugged out. - Yo.

- It's like a blast from the past.

It feels like I'm in, like, my grandmother's house on steroids

on the "Titanic" underground.

- Welcome to our bunker! - Oh, my God.

- Hello!

- I love this place. - How cool is this?

- I love this place.

We are in a bunker, which is really, really cool,

because we all know that BDS is a doomsday prepper.

I'm not conspiracy best friends, OK?

We need to start prepping.

Aliens are already here, guys.

- Oh, my God! It's an alien.

- We gotta get bunkers now.

- All right, so who's gonna be the first sacrifice?

- That's what I said.

- I can't do it. - I can never do that.

- Oh, so you can't eat Pauly,

but everybody's OK with eating me?

- [laughs] - Very nice.

- Meatballs taste better. - Hello.

- Oh. Hi, Frankie.

- Frankie's the woman that we talked to

to try and set this up.

And she's amazing.

I mean, now that we're safe in this bunker,

bring on the aliens.

I don't care. We're ready.

- This is actually considered an underground mansion.

This is , square feet. - I knew it.

- Yep. It cost $ million in .

And they already owned the land.

- I was wondering if the structure we're in right now

will collapse. - No.

This is more structurally sound,

or as structurally sound, as the bottom floors of a casino.

It's years old this year. - Wow.

- So we're feet below the surface.

- How much does something like this cost?

- This underground mansion was for sale for $ million

a couple of weeks ago. - Damn.

- That's not bad.

- Yo, Pauly got that on him right now.

- They took it off the market. [all groan]

You have a wonderful time. Enjoy the whole place.

Have fun. - Thank you.

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

- ♪ Did what I had to do ♪

♪ No looking back, stacking my rack ♪

- You know, I want to break the pattern

of what I had to deal with.

I did anger management classes.

I wasn't able to see my daughter for six months.

I did so much-- so many different things

to make sure that I never got back to that moment.

- You talked about your daughter.

I have six kids of my own.

How did you go about making amends?

- The good thing with my daughter is she's so young.

You know, I didn't want her to see what I do.

I lived four or five of her years in a haze,

and I beat myself up for it.

But you just got to do the right thing, man.

You know? And I still don't have it figured out.

I don't.

But I'm figuring it out.

I'm hoping people get out of hearing

my story is just realizing that even though

I'm on a television show, I go through the same

struggles that they go through.

And it's like, if I can do it, you can do it.

- I'd like to just commend you on your share.

It was very genuine. - Thank you.

- And I can relate to it a whole lot.

You know, trying to fix those things that we left behind has

been the hardest part for me, trying to have the man-up

to say, the courage to say I'm sorry, for my actions,

and take accountability for what

I've been trying to work on.

- You know, it's a long journey.

And just make the amends because those people

do care about you and they do love you.

When you hear other people's stories,

it's like you're kind of grateful.

You guys, commend yourselves because you're here.

And you're doing it, you know?

And don't think you're the only one.

I feel good. It's like-- it's like a relief almost.

Like, it's like I needed to do this.

Like, I needed to tell my side of the story.

OK, guys, thank you so much. all: Thank you.

Thank you, guys. [cheers and applause]

Good luck.

Was that good?

- Good. You were great, man. - My man.

I am becoming a better person.

I'm happy, I'm healthy, and I have my daughter.

And that's all that matters.

Easier than I thought. - Yeah. [laughs]

- ♪ I don't want to let you go ♪

[dramatic music]

- I've never seen anything like this.

[clock ticking]

- All right, would you guys want to pool and Jacuzzi it?

- Yeah. - This place is amazing.

There's, like, a backyard area.

There's golf.

- There's the pool.

- Oh, there he goes.

- Oh, my God! - Yo!

- This is beautiful.

But I would definitely not be able to last long in a bunker

without my wine.

- You want red or white? - White, please.

- Ooh. Sam's having a wine? - Just a little.

I can't drink right now

because I'm going down the IVF road.

So I'm gonna pretend sip it, pretend sip it.

- You got a heavy pour at the meatball bar.

We're all having a great time.

Like, bring on the zombies. We're good down here.

[clock ticking]

- Here, you want the ? I have ice for you too.

- I have to eat first.

I'm so hungry. - Yeah, right?

- Why didn't you guys stop like we did?

- Oh, it's a little dirty.

- Oh!

- What? - You ate?

- Dig in.

- I swear to God.

And you didn't f*cking invite us or bring any to us.

We're in the f*cking middle of nowhere.

I'm, like, feet underground.

What do we have here?

Nothing.

So the fact that the boys stopped to get burgers,

honestly, it pisses me off.

The fact that Mike just stopped and decided

not to get anything for us--

[sighs]

- Is she gonna beat up Mike? [chuckles]

- No wonder you're so content without, like,

needing to eat right now.

I'm f*cking hangry right now.

- Food is my thing, OK? - Yeah.

- Of course you guys knew I stopped over.

- I swear to f*cking Christ.

- Whoops.

We did purchase extra burgers.

We got two extra--

- Double-doubles. - Double-doubles.

But they didn't make the trip.

- Yeah. Because they f*cking ate them, Deena.

- You're already losing your f*cking mind.

- I'm starving. - Calm down!

This is how it all starts.

- Oh, no. Jenni, she's already freaking out.

We've been in here for two minutes.

Jenni's already losing her mind

because she's so f*cking hungry.

- Goodbye. I hate you all. You're gonna be k*lled first.

- I don't know if we're gonna make it down here.

- And you didn't f*cking invite us or bring any to us.

- Awkward!

- This food is good until .

- Ugh! - I don't like it here anymore.

- Who in the f*ck is that? - [gasps]

- This is not his children.

- This is not a boy's house.

- I am petrified.

- You posted a shitty-a*s story.

It's not cool.

- Jenni. Get off your high horse.

- It's not funny. - It's like looking for clouds.