08x10 - Hot Rick

[bunniefuu]

- [ Sighs ]
- Yeah.

This has been fun.

Okay, so I like this,

and I don't want to mess
with a good thing.

What?
You're ending things?

Kind of the opposite.

Um, my family hosts

this whole dumb
ceremonial tournament,

and you'd make it tolerable.

- Ugh.
- I know, I know,

you can't get close

because of your wife,
who died 40 years ago.

I know.
This isn't that.

It's a barbecue
with my parents.

You don't want to get
any closer than this.

I'll just find something I don't
like about you or get bored.

[ Sighs ]
It's a plus one.

What? You never disliked
anything about Diane?

I don't have much to look
back on.

The Omega device--
the, uh, thing evil me used

to erase Diane everywhere,
it f*ck with your mind.

Beth only thinks
she remembers her mom.

Wait, why am I talking
about this?

Are we having
sex again?

What kind of clothes
are being put on here?

- Oh, the sex clothes.
- Alright!

Welcome back to "Cake or Fake:
Celebrity Edition."

Do you need a knife,
Mr. Stabby?

I brought my own.

Where have you been?
Still sh1tting where I eat?

Hop off the sack, SB.

I've known BugAnne
for a billion years

before you were
maybe even cloned.

Oh, relax.

Dad's too hung up on Mom
to ever commit.

Thank God for that.
Keep moping, old man.

Okay, first off,
you missed it.

It was a real baby,
not a cake.

And Mr. Stabby
is canceled now.

And second,
why are we dunking on Rick?

He's been a loving dad
to our family for as long

as I can remember.

Excuse me?

Remember him at
our wedding and Morty's birth?

And that time
he invented PB and J.

Rick's great.

What?!
You guys don't remember this?

Ohh...
I think I know what's going on.

[ Chuckles nervously ] I don't
like everyone watching me.

Ah, I knew it.

Ladies and gentlemen,
meet Memory Rick.

[ Electricity crackling ]

Unh!

- Push, sweetie, you can do this.
- [ Screams ]

He's so supportive.

How did we get
this version of you?

He's just a memory of me at
my most passionate and heroic.

He snuck out of BirdPerson's
brain and into mine.

Must have been
inadvertently dumped into Jerry

when we shuffled
our brains last season.

BirdPerson remembers you
as hot.

I'm still hot,
and he's f*cking everything up

by invading all
this family nostalgia.

Jerry basically has the
equivalent of memory cancer now.

Cancer?!

He is a clever
little b*stard, though.

Look how far he's come
with springs and gears tech.

- Anyways...
- [ Beeping ]

The miracle of life, man.

You guys are gonna
crush this.

Ohh, sh*t!
Ohh!

Even if I'm not around
to help!

- Jerry, take the wheel!
- Aah!

I love spending time
with you guys!

Aaaaaaah!

[ Coughs ]

[ Groaning ]

Rick: Relax, little guy.
Chill out.

You piece of sh*t.
You marooned me!

You piece of sh*t!
You ruined Jerry's brain.

He likes me now.
It's awful.

f*ck you, man!
You have a beautiful family!

Seriously. Calm down.

I built this ant-farm brain
to give your dumb,

high-concept a*s all the room
it could ever need.

- Enjoy eternity.
- This place sucks!

Put me back.

So you didn't invent
PB and J.

He's just a memory, Jerry.

Ohhhh.

Boom! Total reset.
Good as new.

What?
What got reset?

Pretty amazing
that you can just suck

out an intrusive memory
like that.

I wish I could suck out the
memory of all my shitty exes,

especially Peter Casey.

That guy was way too
into lizards.

f*ck you, old man! What?

Are you threatened by
my youthful vigor?!

You ain't got the juice!

[ Whirs ]

[ Grunts ]

[ Sighs ]

He does seem
kind of lonely.

Dad f*ck all the time.

He f*ck things
we can't even comprehend.

Less talking
about Dad f*cking.

Sorry.

[ Clattering ]

[ Sizzling ]

[ Whirring ]

Uhh!

[ Elevator bell dings ]

[ Lightning crashing,
thunder rumbling ]

[ Alarm blares ]

[ Door beeps ]

♪

[ g*nshots ]

[ Breathes deeply ]

[ g*nshots ]

♪

[ Sighs ]

[ Beeps ]

Confirm transfer?

[ Alarm buzzes ]

[ Groaning ]

"Dear Rick, you took the memory
of Diane out of your head.

You did this to be
more emotionally open.

Don't @ me."

BugAnne?
Hey! Weird pitch...

[ Yawns ] Dad?

[ Sproing! ]

Oh, sh*t!

[ Electricity crackling ]

What are you doing?

Aah!

Jerry: Honey,
kids, breakfast!

Oh, there you are.

Where else would I be?

[ Doorbell rings ]

Hey, B.A.

- You need a coffee?
- I could do with a tea.

Hi, Beth.

- Hi.
- Hey.

Morty, family,
this is BugAnne.

Don't gawk.
She's just picking me up.

- Yeah, she is.
- Hi, BugAnne.

Sorry for
crashing breakfast.

Rick called me
and said "Weird pitch,"

but then his pitch
was just going to the thing

I invited him to.

Not exactly
typical dad behavior.

Don't be weird,
Space Beth.

I took the memory of your mom
out of my head.

Now I'm more
emotionally open.

- What?!
- You took Mom out of your brain?

- You took Mom out of your brain?
- Don't be weird.

It's not like I haven't tried
other ways to move on.

I'm trying something new.
It's working.

Hop off the sack.

I think it's nice...
I think.

Summer: Grandpa,
when did you start saying

"hop off the sack"?

[ Grunts ]

- Dad?
- Oh. Hey, kiddo.

Where are you going?

I'm, uh,
heading out for a bit.

Don't wait up.

Why--
Why are you leaving?

Work stuff.

[ Engine starts, revs ]

Aah!

Beth! My daughter!

The work stuff was
in the ceiling.

I'm back now.

- Your hair. It's--
- Way cooler, right?

We're gonna have so much
fun together, sweetie.

- Yay!
- Then we'll save your mother

from a secret underground
memory prison.

Y-Yay?

[ Crowd yelling ]

[ Crowd cheering ]

[ Both laughing ]

Rick. Thank God
that's over.

Sorry you got stuck
with Uncle Scoob.

You didn't tell me
everyone here would be cool.

They're not.
That's my Aunt Bulgogi.

Huge b*tch.

And over there is Jak-Pu, my
ex-boyfriend from high school.

I guess he
was probably staring

for a long time
before that, huh?

BugAnne, you left before the end
of the banner raising.

Why did you leave?
Do I embarrass you?

Not in front
of Uncle Scoob, dear.

Mom, Dad, this is Rick.

He's that friend from
my early revolutionary days.

Ah ha.
The monkeyman.

Gromflomites give us
bugs a bad name.

Such a violent culture.

You've known
my daughter a long time, eh?

I have. Though
BugAnne and I

have only been hooking up
for a few months.

Both: What?!

Why did you say that?!

I was opening up!

I didn't know
your species had ritualistic,

honor-based duels
over premarital sex!

You're a genius,

and you looked up nothing
about my culture?!

I took my wife out
of my head!

I'm going through a lot!

The trial will continue
until one of you is dead

or accepts defeat.

If you yield,

you admit you are incapable
of love and commitment,

only capable of meaningless,
dishonorable sex.

[ Gong sounds ]

Begin!

Please don't k*ll
Jak-Pu!

- Aah!
- Fight me, sl*t!

Aaah!

Your mom will be

in some kind
of protected area.

We'll need special access.

I guess Summer
does chores for Rick.

She should have an access card
we can use to--

[ Safe opens ]

That was faster.
Nice. Again.

- [ Horn honks ]
- Diane: Honey, come on!

sh*t.
Mom's here to pick me up.

Quick, before you go.

Both: Mom is trapped in a box
in the subbasement.

I'm the only one
who can save her.

This is how we stay a family.

Memory Rick: The older future
Rick who locks her up

is crafty and paranoid.

He's a real b*stard.

Beth: But our family
will trust me?

Yeah.
If you don't act weird.

I won't act weird.

[ Grunting ]

You know, I'm worried
about future mom.

But I love spending this
father-daughter time together.

You've always
been there for me.

And I always
will be, sweetie.

Now, one more time...

Mom is trapped
in a box in the subbasement.

I'm the only one
who can save her.

This is how
we stay a family.

[ Door opens ]

Oh, hey. What's up?

It'd be cliché
if we didn't like Dad

dating someone, right?

Yeah. Pretty trite.
What part don't you like?

I don't dislike
any of it.

I mean, I'm an adult woman,
and Dad is his own man.

f*cking piranha plants
are in heat again.

- Ohh.
- Sorry, sweetie.

God, your shoulder's hard.
What are you hens pecking about?

Your grandpa.

Oh, speaking of,

are there specific parts
of the subbasement

to keep important stuff?

- Why?
- Yeah.

You gonna sabotage things
with his new squeeze?

No, Summer, I want to do
something nice for Dad.

Oh, wow.
Pretty humbling for me.

Uh, yeah.

There's a phantom zone
for dangerous stuff

on level 2 and a vault
for valuable stuff on 7.

Makes sense.
Dad said he'd be paranoid.

You b*tches want to watch
a movie or something?

- Yeah
- Sure.

Cool. Grandpa keeps
referencing

"Cannonball Run,"

and I'm tired of pretending
I've seen it.

♪

[ Gasps ]

[ g*nshots ]

[ Rumbling ]

[ Hisses ]

♪

[ Moaning ]

[ Laughs ]

[ Both moaning ]

♪

I...remember you.

I remember you.

Let's go.

Hell yeah.

I like your new car.

Aah!

[ Door opens ]

What are you
doing down here?

- Nothing.
- I knew it didn't take this long

to go
to the bathroom.

And what did you mean
when you said,

"Dad said he'd be
paranoid"?

Weird sentence.

Just something
Dad said in our teens.

Dad wasn't
in our teens, Beth.

We're the same person
with the same memories.

Does this have something
to do

with that cool,
younger version of Dad?

No. You're crazy.
Here, I'll prove it.

- We can go check on him.
- Okay.

[ Thunk! ]

Is your skull metal?

It is.

Oh, cool.

Yah! Hyah!

Just stop
fighting me!

I can't!

This is how
we stay a family!

[ Panting ]

[ Sighs ]

Um, Space... Beth?

Oh, f*ck,
oh, f*ck, oh, f*ck.

Okay, okay, so I'm a memory
from the past,

and you and I have
a daughter in the future,

and we're in her head
right now.

We're together in her head
right now.

But there's a special
ant-farm brain

Old Real Rick built
where we can live forever.

- [ Beeping ]
- Uh, what's wrong?

We should have been
shunted over by now.

Beth only had to move us from
the subbasement to the garage.

I'm gonna go see
what's up.

Don't touch anything!

[ Hanna Beth grunting ]

[ Gasps ]

- Who are you?
- Um...

Oh, God.
I'm your mom...

somehow.

You can't be my mom.

My mom's locked in a box
in the subbasement.

I was.

It's something to do
with memories or something.

- You're too young.
- I'm a memory just like you.

And I think we're
in real you's head.

I'm a memory?

I'm not real?

It's all new to me, too.

I know. We came here
in that pod.

What?!

Hey!

- Ugh! Diane.
- Rick!

Okay. Plan has
a bit of a wrinkle.

I think Real Beth's
gone rogue.

Wait. What are you doing
out of the pod?

Our daughter was
right there, Rick.

I tried to tell her we were both
memories, but--

f*ck. f*ck!

Sweetie, telling a memory
what they are wakes them up.

What? It does?!

It shouldn't be that easy
to create sentience.

Yeah, I think every parent
has that thought at some point.

sh*t! This-- This--
This is bad.

I already filled up Beth's
suggestible memories

to brainwash her
into rescuing you.

- Brainwash her?
- To rescue you!

Aw, our first fight.

[ Crowd cheering ]

This is what happens
when you listen to people.

You end up in a fighting pit
with an ex-boyfriend

you're not allowed
to k*ll.

I invited you
to a thing, Rick!

You didn't have to come!

And you certainly didn't
have to take your dead wife

out of your head!

I told you getting closer
would be dumb.

[ Jak-Pu yells ]

Read the f*cking room, dude.

I am!

It doesn't seem like
your dead wife was the problem.

Oh, yeah?
So we're all in agreement.

Guess I'll just go
undo it then.

BugAnne: Rick!

Whoa!

sh*t!

[ Tool whirs ]

Please work,
please work, please work.

- Ow!
- Thank God!

- Dad?
- Easy, slugger.

You're lucky you've got
a robot spine.

Why are you down here?

Where's Beth?

And what happened
to my memory box with Diane?

And where's Memory Rick?

He must have jacked his way
into her mind somehow.

Jesus.

One sentient memory running
around her head is bad enough.

Her brain could be hosting
a full-on outbreak now.

We gotta find her.

I'm gonna flush
that little memory turd so hard!

Hey, wait.
How'd your date go?

Would I be here
if it went well?

I had to do it.
I-I-I had to do it for Mom.

This is how we stay a family.

This is how we stay a family!

We gotta get to Beth's
recent memories.

We'll be on a slight delay,
but that's the closest

- we can get to talking with her in real time.
- Our family's not

very normal, is it?

Yeah. They're cool.
I got to spend

some time with them
in our son-in-law's head.

And that didn't
mess anything up?

I'm still nervous about
that Beth I woke up.

Well, if she is hunting us,
she's not doing a very good job.

[ Clicking ]

Dad?

Me?

That's not our dad.
That's an impostor.

And he's filled up
our brain like a virus.

But he's just a memory,
and so are we.

And so are you.

We've got to be close.

There!

[ Tires screech ]

Damn.
Good arm.

Almost there.
Whoa!

There you are, sweetie.

Hey, Dad.

What's going on?

She's waking up
more of her. [ Grunts ]

What are
you Beths doing?!

You'll scramble
your own brain!

I wonder where I got...
the idea!

Sorry, memory daughter.

Oh, you think you can run?

That you know my own mind
better than me?

[ Panting ]
Mom, Dad, I, uh...

I think I just k*lled
Space Beth.

- Get back here!
- Just drive, sweetie.

We're so proud of you, hon.

♪

- Now what?!
- I don't know!

This is as far
as I planned.

I've never actually
had to be a parent.

- Should we go back?
- Rick hates me.

And he pulled you out
of his head.

He'll just k*ll us.

Well, if there's no way out,

should we just
Thelma and Louise this?

Both: Wait. What?

Beth, you're real.
Don't do this.

- Honey, we'll be fine!
- I can't live without you.

Honey, please.

This is how we stay a family!

- Beth, no!
- Wait!

If this is a recent memory,
doesn't that mean she already...

Aah!

- [ Clunk! ]
- Beth, let us help you.

I won't let you take them
from me.

They're not
your real family!

Listen to me.

You broke my neck, and
I still don't want to hurt you.

♪

Oh! My head.

Oh, this--
this is how...

Ow.
...we stay...

[ Groans ]

Beth?

I just want it to end.

- Whoa, whoa!
- I just want it to end.

Whoa! Hey!

You see what you did?!

We're your daughter,
and you drove us insane!

So we're gonna k*ll you
before she kills all of us!

- Rick!
- Diane!

Wait, wait, wait, wait.

I'm so confused,
Space Beth.

I hear-- I hear
so many voices.

I remember
loving my dad

and then
hating my dad.

That's just called
being alive, sweetie.

I wasn't there for you,

and someone took
advantage of that.

But I'm here now.

Your real dad
is here, Beth.

And he's more
emotionally open.

[ Sobbing ]

He seems nice.

Why didn't we get
that version of Dad?

Wait, what's he doing
with his hand?

He's distracting her!
That piece of sh*t!

[ Electricity powers down ]

I wish I could
have known her-- Mom.

You did.
She raised you.

I know, but... I don't
really remember.

No one does.

Even I only had
a scrap of her.

It's been nice having her
in my head for a second.

I think.

Memories aren't real,
Beth.

And they can be
as self-serving as any of us.

f*ck. The second my memory
of Diane broke out,

she helped hijack
my daughter.

Your real mom...

loved you more
than that.

Guess I'll have to take
your word for it.

[ Gasps ]

So... it's over?

H-How you doing, sweetie?

You're feeling at all
radicalized-y?

I'm fine, Jer.

Pretty impressive

reset job.

What happened
to Memory Rick?

Oh, uh...

he's gone.

The f*ck is this sombering up
you all just did?

He gaslit your mom!

Yeah, because
he loved grandma.

I'm sad a nice version
of you is dead.

He's a weird thought
creature.

He was never alive!

Whatever! I'm gonna--

I'm gonna f*cking go hang out
with BugAnne.

- That's still going on?
- [ Door slams ]

Uh, thanks
for not k*lling us.

Listen up,
you little activist.

This is as good
as you're gonna get.

Ant-farm brain and a patch
of empty space.

You get within 100
light-years of my family

or try to build yourself
a brain creature

mech suit or whatever,

your whole container
thing explodes.

You got it, chief.

And look, the fact that you two
get this stupid happy ending

where you're young forever
and presumably

always f*cking
drives me insane.

So I'm gonna mindblow myself
and forget this ever happened.

You're on your own.

Thank you for keeping
me alive this long, Rick.

Yeah.

Goodbye,
Memory Diane.

♪ I'm the voice and I won't
let you drag me down ♪

♪ Down ♪

♪ If you go,
I'm not goin' with you now ♪

[ Sighs ]

♪ Don't look back ♪

♪ Nothin' left to see ♪

♪ Just leave the shadows
in the past ♪

♪ If I let it go ♪

♪ Can I shake this feeling? ♪

♪ Oh-oh-oh ♪

♪ Just like that ♪

♪ Tomorrow's one day
that I'm never getting back ♪

♪ I can feel you, though ♪

♪ Wake me from this dreamin' ♪

Ooooo-weeee!
Season eight. Huh?

I liked when Jerry was
the Easter Bunny.

That was fun.
Oh, and that...

Who is he...
Who's he talking to?

I could never tell.

But that data
is irrefutable.

His atoms vibrate
on a frequency

unlike any found
in our whole reality.

And you believe
this traveler came here

to replace your husband?

I know I sound insane and
self-centered for thinking that.

The facts reveal
you to be the opposite.

You've been very brave, Amy.

What would you have
us do with him?

Man: Did you get any of that?