01x19 - Whose Life Is It, Anyway?

[bunniefuu]

♪

(Beeping)

♪ Something tells me

I’ve been dreaming ♪

♪ Of someone who was

never real ♪

♪ It’s seems I’ve changed

a thousand ways ♪

♪ I wish I looked

the way I feel ♪

♪ Braceface

♪ My life gets complicated

♪ Boyfriends

♪ Don’t want to talk about it ♪

♪ Teenage

♪ I’ll work it out in the end ♪

♪ Ooh, ooh

♪ Ah

♪ Ah

♪

♪ Braceface

♪ My life gets complicated

♪ Boyfriends

♪ Don’t want to talk about it ♪

♪ Teenage

♪ I’ll work it out in the end ♪

♪ Braceface

SHARON NARRATING: Why is it

so easy for friends to get

"weirded" out?

Ever since Connor broke up with

Tally he’s been on this kick

about how I don’t spend any

time with him.

In his mind I’m either hanging

out with Maria or Alden and he

gets left in the dust.

"De-weirding" solution?

Throw him an awesome birthday

party.

Look what I found.

Unfortunately, my mother has

serious party envy.

We can do a luau theme.

Mom, nobody does theme

parties past the age of six.

Hey, how about these for eye

candy?

No luau, okay?

It’s a tough sell.

Hey, aloha, Helen.

Mom, David, please.

Well I thought it was a good

idea.

When I was your age we always

had theme parties.

Remember I still have to get

the stuff to make tofu

cheesecake.

Don’t bother, I ordered a

cake.

But I wanted to make it

myself.

Oh by the time you buy all

the ingredients, it’s cheaper to

order.

It’s true.

Who’s throwing this party

anyway?

Well...

I am.

So it would be nice if you and

your boyfriend could just butt

out.

I’ll put these in the car.

This seat taken?

We were only trying to help.

Well you were helping me

right out of planning Connor’s

party.

I’m sorry, Sharon.

Sometimes I forget that you’re

not a little girl anymore.

From now on I promise to let you

make more of your own decisions.

You mean that?

I really do.

Look, if you still want to make

your tofu cheesecake here’s some

money to buy the stuff you need

from the health food store.

Okay, thank you, Mom.

Umm.

Umm.

Hmmm.

Wow, your tattoo is amazing.

Thank you.

Have you ever tried yoga?

I’ve always wanted to.

You should.

It promotes flexibility and

relieves stress.

Best of all, it’s a wonderful

way to nourish mind, body and

spirit.

Here this brochure expands on

that theory.

When you buy one membership, the

second is half price.

I was gonna get Connor the

archery lessons he’s been

hinting at but yoga just seems

so much cooler to me.

And it’s something we can do

together.

So, what do you say?

Woo hoo.

♪

Fair warning, coming in.

I brought my quad speakers.

This party needs woofers.

David, we’re fine.

Wow, are those Bass Masters?

Mom, I thought you guys were

going to let us have some

privacy?

Hey, Sharon, cool tattoo.

What tattoo, where?

It’s henna, it washes off.

Is it a problem?

No, no problem.

It’s cute.

I mean neat.

Cool.

Excuse me.

That should be it.

Fire it up.

Sweet.

Hey.

Huh?

Gee, thanks David, but it’s

time for Connor to open his

gifts now.

Birthday boy, you are going to

be so surprised.

Hmm, I see something I’ve

been hinting like crazy for.

Like lessons in the ancient art

of yoga.

Yoga, wow, that is a surprise.

Isn’t it great?

I got a membership for myself

too.

See, now we can spend more time

together.

Great.

HELEN: She’s only 13.

DAVID: I just don’t think you

should encourage Sharon to wear

a temporary tattoo.

Excuse me?

(Laughing)

David, she’s not gonna run

out and get a real one.

She doesn’t know what she wants.

That’s what she thinks.

I made the card myself.

Since when do you do

calligraphy?

Since my parents decided I

should learn more about my

cultural heritage.

It means freedom.

You know, since you’re getting

older.

Hey.

That’s what I want.

This is what I’m going to get

for my tattoo.

No way, you’re getting a real

one?

Yeah right.

Your mom will be real happy

about that.

I know how to handle my

mother.

Morning, Mom.

You’re working early.

I’m trying to write a speech

for this workshop I’m giving.

Wow, what’s the occasion.

I just wanted to show you how

much I appreciate you letting me

have the party my way.

Well you did a great job of

hosting.

You know what we talked about

yesterday?

About making my own decisions?

Yes?

A what?

But this one will be totally

cool.

It means freedom.

Sharon, at your age no studio

would even consider tattooing

you and certainly not without

permission and I’m not giving

it.

But it’s my body.

And you’re my daughter and

it’s up to me to keep you from

making a huge mistake.

The answer is no.

You’re such a hypocrite.

You say I can make my own

decisions but you only let me

make ones that you agree with.

♪

You’re not serious.

Scales before eight AM?

Breakfast in bed didn’t work?

Shut up.

’Cause depending on what

you’re going for I can offer you

a variety of other buttering up

techniques.

I’ve got everything under

control, thanks.

Cleaning out her car always

works for me.

Please, I really don’t think

I need to resort to such

juvenile tricks.

We’re talking tactics,

Sharon.

Tricks are for kids.

Tactics are for teens.

I mean, can you believe how

controlling she is?

"Achoo."

I think I’m allergic to these

floor mats.

Are you itchy?

She treats me like a kid.

I’m surprised she lets me dress

myself.

This is an excellent posture

for your back.

Just listen to your body and

never work beyond your own pain

threshold.

What was wrong with the

temporary tattoo?

Why do you have to have a real

one?

Connor, the coolest part

about a tattoo is that it’s

forever.

It’s like this huge personal

decision.

Second pose.

Did I mention that my inner

ear problem screws up my

balance?

You know, Sharon, yoga might not

be my thing.

Sure it is.

I believe in you, Connor.

If you just stick with it,

you’ll be great.

Anyway the lessons aren’t

returnable.

Aww.

This is exactly what we need

to relieve our stress.

"Achoo."

Oh.

Sharon, can you come in to my

office for a moment?

Just a minute.

SHARON NARRATING: Is this

good or bad?

Probably bad.

Mom only makes me sit on this

couch when she’s going to give

me a hard time.

Yes, along with personal

therapy, the group work is

committed to making a difference

in all levels of communication

between family members.

Exactly.

I hope to see you there next

week.

Sorry, Sharon.

Now, about our discussion this

morning, I’ve had some time to

think about it...

And discuss it with your

boyfriend.

I’ll pretend I didn’t hear

that.

But I’ve come to the conclusion

that maybe you are old enough to

be making important decisions.

So I’ve decided that if you’re

sure about this.

If you’re absolutely determined

to get a tattoo, I won’t stand

in your way.

Are you serious?

Provided that I go with you

to make sure you’re okay.

You’re the best mom ever.

I’ve got to call Maria and

Alden.

Woo hoo.

I told you, the car cleaning

works every time.

David I know, but look, I’m a

trained psychologist.

I know what I’m doing.

Here comes Sharon, I’ll call you

later.

Namaste.

I bow to the divine in you.

It’s a yoga greeting.

Oh well then likewise.

How are you feeling?

I am balanced and calm.

And totally psyched.

Although I do have this weird

feeling that I’ve forgotten

something.

Sharon, anyone?

A little help here.

And I know it’s a huge

decision but I just love the

idea so much.

Um, so where is this place

anyway?

Almost there, I just have to

stop off at the doctor’s first.

HELEN: Ow.

Ahh.

A disco ball?

What were you thinking?

That I was Donna Summer?

This is so bogus.

I can’t believe you’re making me

watch this.

I can’t believe I have to.

Why didn’t you tell me you

had a tattoo?

Ow.

She got it after some wild

sorority party.

And she’s regretted it ever

since.

Now she’s decided that I can’t

have one.

(Slurping)

Did it actually look like a

disco ball?

More like a golf ball.

I feel so ripped off.

My mother never had any

intention of letting me get my

tattoo.

Sharon Spitz wants a tattoo?

Aren’t you defaced enough,

Braceface?

Tattoos are so gross.

Alden, guess what Sharon wants

to do to herself.

A tattoo, I know, isn’t it

great?

Great?

I guess it’s alright.

So, any ink we should know

about?

Not yet.

My mom’s having a little trouble

with the concept.

Do you honestly let your

mother control you like that?

If you were really serious about

it you’d get one anyway.

Don’t worry, Nina, I plan to.

Anyone know a good place?

Okay, I’ll be at the centre

until two doing the teen

workshop.

Have you seen my keys?

No.

How’s your butt?

It still hurts.

I’m sorry your still angry with

me but I needed you to

understand why I said no to the

tattoo.

It’s not my fault you picked

a stupid disco ball.

We’ll have to talk about this

later, Sharon.

I have to go.

Have a good day, okay?

Hey, Sharon.

There you are.

What’s in the case?

Calligraphy brushes.

I just had my lesson in the art

of tediousness.

How could you let your

parents force you in to that?

It’s a trade for six

kickboxing sessions.

Are you sure about this, Sharon?

This place looks so gross.

It’s the only place that

didn’t ask my age.

Come on.

You think they charge extra

for the hepatitis?

Welcome ladies, have a seat.

Ew.

Could I maybe watch you?

Oh, I’ll be in the waiting

room.

Teens often delight in making

choices that we as parents find

inappropriate.

Let me tell you about my

daughter’s tattoo phase.

I shared my own mistake with her

so she would understand why I

couldn’t let her get a tattoo.

So, peaches, what do you want

and where do you want it?

Oh no.

Oh.

Ahh.

Whoa.

(Screaming)

Step on the cord.

And I thought I’d never use

calligraphy in real life.

Ow.

It’s all in the wrist, eh,

Sharon?

Sharon?

It’s hard to say no but deep

down, kids want us to impose

limits.

Oh, Dr. Spitz, there’s an

urgent call.

Something about your daughter

getting knocked out at Ray’s

tattoo shack.

Yeah, I’d have my tattoo

right now if Maria hadn’t

totally clocked me.

Wow, that stinks.

It would have looked wicked.

You’ve got a lot of guts,

Sharon.

You really think so?

Well hey, it’s not over yet.

(Knocking)

Sorry, Alden I’ve got to go.

I think it’s lecture time.

Come in.

Like there’s any chance you

won’t.

Here’s a cold cloth if your

head still hurts.

I thought we had settled this,

Sharon.

What were you thinking going to

a place like that?

You should be grateful for that

bump on your head.

It kept you from making a huge

mistake.

David, it’s me.

Can you come over for coffee?

I really need to talk.

I really need to talk.

You knocked her unconscious?

Is she okay?

Well she’s well enough to

insult my back swing.

Is that Maria?

Bad news travels fast.

Sharon’s here, I gotta go.

Right, but don’t be a doormat

about the yoga thing, okay?

You gotta tell her sometime.

I know, I’ll talk to you

later.

Do I have a say about my

mother’s life?

About who she dates, what she

wears?

No.

So why does she get to veto my

tattoo?

Sharon, can I talk to you

about something?

I’m kind of in a situation where

somebody has made this choice

for me that I basically well,

that I hate.

Well tell them to back off.

But it’s not that simple.

Sure it is.

You can’t let other people run

your life, and you know what?

Neither can I.

Thanks, Connor.

I’m glad we’re spending more

time together.

I feel like we can tell

each other anything.

Oh, Sharon, I’m quitting

yoga.

You’re doing your best,

Helen.

It’s my life and my body.

And I’m getting a tattoo and I

don’t care what you think.

What do you have to say to that?

Okay.

Ah right.

Good.

Don’t say it, David.

I’m tired and I’m fresh out of

bright ideas.

I can’t believe your mom is

finally letting you go through

with this.

Well, Sharon’s the one who’s

going to have to suffer the

consequences.

Have I had my tetanus shot?

Yes.

Here, you have to sign this

at the bottom.

Mom.

Oh.

Good idea, yoga will relax

me.

Ohm.

Chant with me, Connor.

What, here, now?

Yes now, it will make you

feel better.

Come on, Sharon.

I don’t want to.

Let’s do a nice easy tree

pose.

Man, you think your mother’s

controlling.

You’re the one who’s bulldozing

all over everyone.

What are you talking about?

Look, when you bought those

yoga lessons did you get them

for me or for you?

I got them for both of us.

Do I look like a yoga kind of

guy?

Why didn’t you say something?

I tried, but you were so busy

trying to get your own way about

this tattoo.

EMPLOYEE: Sharon Spitz, would

you like to come this way?

Hi, I’m Zen.

Whoa, how old are you?

Old enough.

Young enough to need

permission.

Can I see the consent form?

What do you know.

Well, Sharon, what statement are

we making today?

Ah, it says freedom.

Actually, it says grapefruit.

But I can fix it.

Have a seat.

(Sighing)

You must be a pretty together

kid for your mom to let you do

this at your age.

Let’s just say I’m pretty

determined.

SHARON NARRATING: I couldn’t

believe I was finally getting

my tattoo.

It’s weird but I thought I’d

feel happier about it.

Well, there it is.

Freedom.

Yeah.

I guess so.

(Phone ringing)

Helen Spitz.

When can you reschedule my talk?

Oh, wouldn’t you rather get

someone who actually knows

something about teenagers?

SHARON: It’s done.

Are you okay, honey?

Where is it?

Did it hurt?

Can I see?

You didn’t get it on your...

No.

Mom, look.

I decided earrings were more me

than a tattoo.

Thanks.

And I’m sorry.

HELEN AND CONNOR: It’s okay.

SHARON NARRATING: Okay, I know

what you’re thinking.

But I didn’t chicken out.

I just changed my mind.

I’m allowed to change my mind.

Ow, Mom, could you maybe not

hold me so tight?

Oh I’ll try, Sharon.

I’ll try.

♪