01x23 - Angels Among Us

[bunniefuu]

♪

(Beeping)

♪ Something tells me

I’ve been dreaming ♪

♪ Of someone who was

never real ♪

♪ It’s seems I’ve changed

a thousand ways ♪

♪ I wish I looked

the way I feel ♪

♪ Braceface

♪ My life gets complicated

♪ Boyfriends

♪ Don’t want to talk about it ♪

♪ Teenage

♪ I’ll work it out in the end ♪

♪ Ooh, ooh

♪ Ah

♪ Ah

♪

♪ Braceface

♪ My life gets complicated

♪ Boyfriends

♪ Don’t want to talk about it ♪

♪ Teenage

♪ I’ll work it out in the end ♪

♪ Braceface

SHARON NARRATING: ’Twas the

week before Christmas, and all

was a-flurry as my friends and

I had to scurry, or else we’d

be late for school!

MARIA: Whoa!

Wh-whoa!

(Chuckling)

I thought this snowshoe thing

would be easy!

Maybe if you had snowshoes!

Not "if," "when."

What do you think’s sitting

under our Christmas tree right

now?

(Gasping)

You peeked, didn’t you?

You don’t have to unwrap them

to know what they are.

Least I don’t have to snoop.

(IRISH ACCENT): My Christmas

gift’s flying all the way from

Ireland this year!

(IRISH ACCENT): Your

grand-da?

Mm-hmm.

I convince mom to cook a

tofurkey this year.

Other than that, it’s Christmas

as usual at my house.

Which, if I remember

correctly, means total

perfection.

Yup!

At least once a year, the

Spitz’s have an out-of-family

experience.

Mom stops working and gets into

baking, we decorate the tree

together, my brothers and I go

door to door singing carols.

This is my absolute favourite

time of year.

Nina: Oh, Sharon!

Look!

Huh?

We used you as our model.

(Giggling)

Oh, yeah, the other great

thing about Christmas?

Not seeing Nina?

For two whole weeks!

(Giggling)

Everybody’s names are in

here, so, one at a time.

No swapping, no throwbacks.

Let’s all get into the spirit of

Secret Santa.

And, draw!

I hope I pick Alden.

I’m gonna get him movie passes

for two!

And hope he’ll invite you

along.

(Giggling)

I’ll get you, Maria!

TEACHER: Spitz, Wong!

Your inattention is holding up

my festive homeroom activity!

Please, be Alden.

Please, please, please, be

Alden.

(Screaming)

(Fake sneezing)

What do you get for the person

you hate most in the world?

How about one of these?

Nothing says, "I can’t stand

you, but Merry Christmas,

anyway" quite like candy cane

bubble bath.

Think for a sec, Sharon.

Nina must have interests.

Other than herself?

Oh, I mean, you two were best

friends until second grade.

Ah, angels!

She used to really be into

angels!

Eh, why not?

She already looks down on us.

She might as well do it from a

cloud.

So, you get some cheap,

plastic angel thing, and bam!

You’re done!

(Giggling)

Is that the true spirit of

Secret Santa?

Of course not.

It’s about being generous.

No.

No, what?

I do everything I can to put

up with Nina’s attitude all

year long.

Why should I be forced to be

nice to her at Christmas?

It’s totally hypocritical!

I think you’re making this a

way bigger deal than it needs to

be.

I don’t care!

I’m not buying her a present!

The last thing I needed was

Nina Harper bringing me down at

Christmas.

This was the one time of year

when everything complicated

became simple again, when life

felt perfectly right.

There was no way I was going to

let anyone or anything make it

wrong.

So there!

Do I give the impression that

I like to cook?

What about this practical

accessory?

(Giggling)

Very cute.

I might as well wear a "kick

me" sign on my back.

What’s this?

Don’t tell me you caved.

I realized my initial

reaction may have been a bit

harsh.

Ow!

Aren’t angels supposed to be

light?

It’s five dollars worth of

pennies.

Pennies?

(Laughing)

That’s your present?

That’s a wee bit tacky, don’t

you think?

I didn’t have time to go back

to the mall.

At least I tried.

(Giggling)

Wow!

Thanks, Alison!

NINA: Merry Christmas,

Sharon.

You?

You’re my Secret Santa?

(Bell ringing)

Looks like it, huh?

(Sighing)

I hate Secret Santa.

I always get something totally

worthless.

I’m just grateful that nobody

even tried to get me anything

this year.

Aren’t you gonna follow her?

Give her your pennies?

After that?

You heard her, she doesn’t even

want a present.

(Groaning)

I’ll get her the angel.

I’ll give it to her when we get

back in January.

There’s always tonight.

We get out early, so you can go

to the mall and--

Forget it!

Tonight’s Christmas Eve!

We’ll be decorating our tree,

and...

Uh, guys?

Anybody wanna help me carry this

home?

(Grunting)

Oh, hello.

Oh, hi, sweetie.

Mrs. Brown, you’re early!

Look, why don’t you take a seat

in my office?

I’m just gonna grab us some

fresh coffee.

Mom, say I get this great

gift basket from Nina.

Does that mean I have to give

her something more great?

Sharon, I’d love to help you

with your problems, but right

now, I’m really running behind.

The psychiatric clinic at a

hospital asked for volunteers

to help handle the Christmas

rush, and--

Oh.

Oh, my.

Latke?

The counter.

The walls.

Seeing how tonight’s the

first night of Hanukkah, I

thought I’d make potato

pancakes.

You thought...

Since when do you celebrate

anything other then Christmas?

Since I decided to explore

Dad’s heritage this year.

But Dad’s not even in town

this year.

So?

We are 50% Jewish.

We should at least make an

effort to see what that side’s

about.

(Door opening)

ADAM: Mom!

You wanna try one?

It’s the traditional food made

to celebrate the Festival of

Lights.

ADAM: Mom!

I just picked Jerry up from the

airport.

Mind if he pitches his tent in

the backyard?

Jerry?

You mean, my cousin Jerry?

What are you doing here?

He’s here for the holidays,

Mom.

Didn’t I tell you?

I didn’t tell you.

Merry Christmas, cous’!

Looking forward to celebrating

with the family!

Now, tell me where to pitch this

thing and you won’t even know

I’m here.

Is this that weird cousin you

told us about?

The one that never goes inside?

Uh-huh.

He picks a different family

member every Christmas and camps

on their lawn.

Wherever is fine, Jerry!

I’m sorry, Mom, I could’ve

sworn I told you he was coming.

Might need some help,

though!

I’m sure Adam would love to

help you, Jerry.

He’s been looking forward to

spending all of Christmas with

you.

Atta boy, Adam!

Say, you look pretty strong.

You ever dug up frozen earth

with your bare hands before?

I better cook up some more

latkes.

Cousin Jerry’s probably

starving.

Good idea!

Now, I don’t mean to be rude,

but I have to go deal with--

Your patient?

Mom, you never work on Christmas

Eve!

Maybe you could get started

on the tree.

But don’t we usually do the

tree together?

It was obvious.

If I wanted this Christmas to

be as perfect as every other

year, I had to take charge,

fast!

Adam?

Cousin Jerry?

We’re decorating the tree!

Sorry, Sharon.

We’re a little behind setting up

camp.

The back lawn resisted us.

But I need help now!

I’ll put on the porch light

later so you can see what you’re

doing.

First rule of the outdoors:

never depend on non-natural

lighting.

But Adam’s the only one who

can reach the top branches.

ADAM: I’ll be there in a

minute.

Adam, my man, look around

you.

There are plenty of trees

outside that we can admire.

They don’t need decorating to be

beautiful!

But, Jerry--

Come on, buddy!

There’s so much I have to teach

you!

Wow, how’d you do that?

JERRY: Self-defence is key to

surviving in the wilderness.

(Sighing)

SHARON: Um, you want the

lights or the tinsel?

Actually, by celebrating

Hanukkah, I’m abstaining from

anything to do with Christmas.

But--

I’m gonna clean up the

kitchen.

Can you believe that menorah

belonged to Dad’s

great-grandmother?

So, I guess this means

carolling’s off, too?

Okay, I’ll do it!

While I’m waiting for my family

to come to its collective

Christmas senses, I’ll go out

and get Nina her angel.

Sure, it won’t be as big or as

expensive as this, but that

doesn’t matter, right?

(Phone ringing)

Hello?

MARIA: So, what did she get

you?

Shouldn’t you be outside

practicing your snowshoeing?

I’m taking a break.

So what did she get you?

Uh, a t-shirt that says "I

love me."

Very Nina, to be your own

fan club.

Little bottles of shampoo and

body lotion.

Oh, the kind they give you in

hotels.

Figures she’d take those

home.

SHARON: And... car calendars?

Doesn’t her dad own a

dealership?

Oh, wait!

There’s something else.

Aww!

A big, blue kitty cat.

With a white furry stomach?

And a big kitty cat smile.

Sharon!

You’ve been regifted!

Re-what?

I gave that cat to Nina for

Secret Santa last year!

I knew it!

This is just like Nina!

Acting like she’s oh-so-generous

and everything, but doesn’t she

realize everyone knows how fake

she is?

What a cheapskate!

Uh, well, you were gonna give

her pennies.

So?

What she did was way worse.

(Thudding)

Uh, Maria?

I think I have to go.

Adam!

Sorry, sis.

Jerry wants me to hang his food

from the tree.

JERRY: Can you go any higher?

ADAM: I’ll try, cousin Jerry.

He’s afraid that bears are going

to get it.

Adam, this is suburbia!

Bear population, zero!

Try telling that to him.

JERRY: Don’t forget, where

there’s food, there are bears,

and where there are bears, take

care!

HELEN: Adam, I want you down

from there!

Don’t worry, cous’.

The kid’s just doing me a

favour.

By risking his life?

You see that window, Jerry?

That’s our guestroom.

Normal people stay there when

they come to visit.

Are you saying I’m not normal

people?

Yes!

Cous’, it’s not like I meant

to impose.

Mom, you shouldn’t have

yelled at him like that.

Did you know he stayed with

Aunt Eleanor last year?

All Christmas Eve, he kept her

up by banging sticks together to

chase away the bobcats.

So?

Aunt Eleanor lives in

Manhattan.

You know, Mom, Jerry might

be weird and everything, but at

least he’s fun!

Now, look what you’ve done!

SHARON: Mom, can you drive me

to the mall?

There’s one last thing I have to

get.

JOSH: Me, too.

Candles for my menorah!

I don’t have time for trips

to the mall.

Besides, didn’t I tell you

both--

SHARON: I know, I know,

decorate the tree.

Nobody was helping me!

I’m not helping you because

I’m trying to celebrate

Hanukkah, a decision neither of

you can seem to respect!

Why can’t you just do

Hanukkah and Christmas together?

Is it such a terrible big deal

to stick to some of our

family traditions?

You mean, like eating a

normal turkey?

Eating a tofurkey makes

perfect sense!

Who wants to have a dead bird in

the middle of the table?

What kind of celebration is

that?

I’m just asking our family to

embrace my new beliefs, okay?

So am I!

Call me when Christmas is over!

No tree decorating, no

carolling.

What’s next, no baking?

Baking?

You are baking your special

sugar cookies this year, right?

Are you crazy?

Do you know what kind of

workload I’ve been dealing with,

Sharon?

Do you know how hard I have been

trying to juggle everything?

Do I care?

Sharon, it’s not like I want

to be this stressed!

Where are you going?

I don’t know!

Connor’s?

Maria’s?

Anywhere they’re having a real

Christmas!

(IRISH ACCENT): Well, if it

isn’t Miss Sharon.

And you’ve brought the wee ones!

Pigger!

Samson!

(NORMAL VOICE:) Pretty good, eh?

I hate to say this, but you

sound like Russian leprechaun

with his mouth full.

You’re saying it needs work?

Well, come on in and hear the

real thing!

(Dogs barking)

Hey!

GRAND-DA: I think you’re

wrong, and your mind’s

half-screwy!

There’s nothing as green as the

fields of Ireland!

Except maybe your face with

envy, once you look at the

hills around here in spring!

Are they fighting over--

CONNOR’S DAD: Pride!

That’s all I get from you.

Yup!

Who’s grass is greener.

Look, Da, it’s Sharon.

GRAND-DA: One of Connor’s wee

lasses, is it?

And look, she’s got the sparkly

teeth.

Uh, they’re braces, actually.

You used to have sparkly

teeth like that.

What are you talking about?

I never had braces in my life!

Do you think all this family

arguing is some kind of holiday

epidemic this year?

They do this whenever they’re

in the same room together.

And it doesn’t bother you?

Are you kidding?

It’s way too entertaining!

SHARON NARRATING: Even though

arguing was like a sporting

event at Connor’s house, it

didn’t exactly give me the warm

fuzzies I was looking for.

MARIA’S MOM: Meatball?

Veal parmesan?

Or how about some chicken

chow mien?

Mmm, nice and spicy!

Mom, Dad, I told you, she’s a

vegetarian.

Okay, so you’ll have a spring

roll!

And some pasta with tomato

sauce!

(Laughing)

Mom and Dad can never decide

on the menu, so they agree to

disagree and make enough food to

feed China and Italy combined.

SHARON: Hi, Lee!

How’s college?

Not bad.

How’s eighth grade?

Way more complicated than

seventh.

MARIA’S MOM: Stan, come in

the living room!

We’re ready to light the Yule

log!

When I was a little girl on

Christmas Eve, my mother used to

make me wish on the first log in

the fire.

STAN: And when I grew up, we

did all our big wishing during

the Chinese New Year.

I hope you’ll celebrate that

with us, too, Sharon.

We like wishing in this

house!

And lychee nuts!

In the Chinese tradition, eating

these helps promote strong

family relationships.

Wow!

How many do you need to eat

before it starts working?

(Chuckling)

Well, as many as you think

you need.

Well, then there’d be none

left for anybody else!

MARIA: What?

Christmas isn’t perfect this

year?

Hardly.

As our guest, I think Sharon

should get the first Christmas

wish.

SHARON: How is it possible

that Maria’s family, with all

its differences, could get

along and mine couldn’t?

It didn’t make sense!

MARIA: Sharon, did you wish

yet?

SHARON: I wish I may, I wish

I might, have this same family

feeling in my house tonight!

It wasn’t like we didn’t love

each other as much as Maria’s

family.

It was just, well, they seemed

to be able to compromise and

make their own traditions out

of a whole bunch of traditions.

In my house, everybody seemed

to be in their own world with

their own priorities.

But there had to be a way to at

least be together without

fighting.

(Piano playing)

Where is everybody?

Does it matter?

Can’t you play something a

little more festive?

I don’t know any Hanukkah

carols.

Oh, okay!

How about something like...

♪ On the first day of Hanukkah,

my bubbie gave to me ♪

You know, sort of thing.

("12 Days of Christmas" playing)

♪ On the first day of Hanukkah,

my bubbie gave to me ♪

♪ A bagel with cream cheese

♪ On the second day of Hanukkah,

my bubbie gave to me ♪

♪ Two spinning dreidels

And a bagel with cream cheese ♪

Mom!

HELEN: I tried calling you at

your friends’, but each time

they said you just left.

You’re baking!

You were right.

It wasn’t fair to you and your

brothers that I was working so

much.

I just didn’t know how to say

"no."

You wanna check on the tofurkey,

or should I?

Now we just have to convince

Jerry that it’s safe to come

inside and eat.

JERRY: There’s no better

appetizer than my special winter

soup.

And after this, we can all go

inside for the main course?

Of course!

I gave my word!

I almost forgot to light the

menorah!

Jerry, did you find candles for

me?

Every good woodsman carries

emergency supplies!

They come in handy when malls

close early.

We have to do this before

sundown.

"Blessed are you, Adoynoy, ruler

of the universe who has kept us

alive and well, and has brought

us into this season."

That’s the English version.

My Hebrew’s a little rusty.

Is this the one you make with

mud, dead leaves, wild berries,

and snow?

And a little tree bark for

flavour!

Family reunions were always

more interesting with you

around.

(Chuckling)

You wanna see interesting?

Just wait until you see the

presents I’ve handcrafted for

you guys!

Presents!

Oh, no, there’s something I have

to do!

After dinner.

SHARON: Okay, guys, let’s go.

Quietly!

Getting over my own selfishness

might have been the best

Christmas gift I could give to

anyone.

(Gasping)

♪