02x17 - Oh, Grow Up!

[bunniefuu]

♪ Something tells me I've been dreaming ♪

♪ Of someone who was never real. ♪

♪ It seems I've changed a thousand ways, ♪

♪ I wish I looked the way I feel! ♪

♪ Braceface! ♪

♪ My life is complicated! ♪

♪ Boyfriend! ♪

♪ Don't want to talk about it! ♪

♪ Teenage! ♪

♪ I'll work it out in the end! ♪

♪ Braceface! ♪

Argggg!

How can I possibly choose which college is right for me?

There are so many things to consider!

Like which one lets you major in wrestling?

You know sharon, I am more than just my physique.

I happen to have many other interests outside of wrestling.

Like?

Coaching wrestling.

You have no idea how stressful it is making decisions

About the rest of her life.

You're right - I don't.

Because I already know what I'm going to be when I grow up.

Don't tell me. A guidance counsellor.

Very funny. No - a vet.

Give me a break!

Do you know how long it takes to become one?

You'll be in school forever!

I know that, adam.

I am volunteering with a vet.

It's a very esteemed profession.

Sure it is...

But do you really think you can hack the blood

And guts part of the job?

Just last week you were having convulsions over a paper cut!

Well...

You have a talent with animals - no denying it.

But do you have the ability part?

Of course I do.

Just to get in to vet school you need to ace science.

For the next decade!

I can do that.

But can you do more than wrestle?

I could do tons of things if I put my mind to it.

I just have to find the next thing

That I'll be really good at.

I can't wait to hear what it is.

Some of you are going to be disappointed,

Some of you are going to cry.

Some of you are going to be ecstatic

And some of you are going to ask why?

Does that even make sense?

Man!

Ditto.

Do not despair children!

We are moving on to a new section.

The glorious human body!

Is he still on medication?

That's not funny.

What's wrong with someone being passionate about their work?

Hey. Relax. It was just a joke.

We've always thought teversham was a weirdo!

We'll begin this unit by learning

All the proper terminology for the various body parts.

Of course, most of them are in latin (chuckles).

Why do we need to know all this?

Our body either works or it doesn't.

In latin or english!

Shhh! Maybe it's important info

For those of us who want to go to vet school.

Oooooh, soooorry.

So what if maria didn't care about this stuff.

I cared.

No one said becoming a vet would be easy, right?

And you think doing an unpaid internship is cool?

Yeah! Cause it's gotta be in a field

We eventually want to work in.

Are you really going to try to be a waterfront rescue hero?

Uh huh. I've got it all lined up.

Wow. That's great.

So why don't you come work the coast guard with me?

Uh, because I think waterfront rescue heroes

Have to enjoy swimming.

You love swimming!

Yeah, in a pool. Not a shark infested ocean.

So what are you going to do?

(Sigh) I have no idea.

Adam, you better figure something out by next week!

That's when we have to start our internships.

Remember, it's a requirement for graduation.

I know that! But I don't want to just pick anything!

This is my future we're talking about!

I want it to be the right start.

I have an idea. Why don't you take one of those

Career tests on the net?

To see where your hidden talents lie.

That's brilliant!

Hannah to the rescue.

For those of you who are on the exercise plan,

I'll be walking you after dinner.

So she's not eating and she's not pooping.

Hmm. What do you feed her normally?

Hay, lettuce and a little bit of rabbit food.

Nothing else?

No treats?

Why don't you come into my office

So we can take a closer look at alice.

Don't worry. I'll watch him.

You know, when I was a little girl

I once gave my dogs chocolate

And if made really, really sick.

Even if they seem to like it at first.

I would never feed my pet bad food.

That's good. Once we had a rabbit in here

Who had eaten a sock!

Dr. Martin had to do an operation to remove it.

The operation didn't hurt him?

No. The rabbit was asleep the whole time.

And when he woke up he felt much better.

I knew someone who fed his rabbit plastic carrots.

Really? What was the boy's name?

Janel.

And what's your name?

Janel.

Wow. What a coincidence.

Good work getting that history sharon.

I'll have to take an x-ray

To see exactly what's lurking around in there.

Is there anything I can do to help?

I recognize that the naris can be a sensitive area.

True. But we're looking at the intestine not the nostril.

I hate latin.

Maybe you should consider a career in food services.

Maybe you should mind your own bees wax,

'Cause after going on-line,

I will know exactly what I should be considering.

Not a career computer test?

Oh yes. Results by tomorrow.

And you're going to believe

What one of those things tells you?!

This is the best test on the market.

It has a 96% success rate!

Which, in case you don't understand statistics,

Means people love the answers that come back!

You never know. Maybe I'm meant to become a detective,

Or better yet - a movie star!

Oh, I forgot to ask.

Exactly how bummed are you about that 'c' in science?

(Laughing)

Hannah, this is taking forever!

I've done like a hundred questions already!

They each pop up one at a time with their own mini soundtrack-

Listen...

Now check out this question -

If you could take three things into a jungle,

What would they be?

How would I know?

Sounds like fun!

Can I come over for a little break?

I'm sort of busy.

I'm trying on all my underwater gear.

Let me watch.

Don't think so!

But you can help me practice my underwater sign language.

As long as there's one for kiss me.

I can't believe how adam's so all-attitude around me!

I can be a vet if I want to -

I just have to work really hard, right?

Right.

Have you figured out the answer to 6 (b) yet?

I need a calculator for that.

Where's my calculator?

Great... I can't find it!

Borrow adam's.

Are you asking me to beg from my tormentor?

Yes. I want to get this done so I can go for a run!

So I'll do it the long way.

Forget it! You don't have enough fingers for this one.

Call me back when you have the answer okay?

(Knock on door) adam?

(Laughing) oh adam, give it up.

What is your biggest fear?

To be hanging from a major cliff

By one arm above a shark pool.

That, or never having anything to eat in the fridge.

At least he's being honest.

Wait a minute...

What is your biggest dream for the future?

To be a pro wrestler.

(Giggling) oh, I don't think so...

There should be something, there should be something.

Bingo!

I can't wait to see what the test came up with.

You wouldn't believe some of the things I put in there.

You're terrible.

Here it is hannah.

The answer to my future.

Satisfaction guaranteed if I follow this path.

Open up the attachment!

What does it say?

Ahhh! A funeral director!

What?!

(Bursts out laughing)

That can't be where my hidden talents lie!

There must be other options, other choices.

No. Just that.

Listen. Maybe there's something they know about you

That you don't even know about yourself.

You think so?

Number one, they're the experts on all this stuff.

Number two, you've run out of time

To check out other possibilities.

And number three, I'd much rather hang

With a funeral director than a wrestling coach.

Okay. That settles it! I'll do it.

Had I put adam's whole future on a new and bizarre course?

And what if he found out what I'd done?

Would I even be around for my own future?

I have to admit, this is a very unusual request

Coming from someone your age.

Normally we get interns after they've completed

The funeral service education program at college.

I guess I'm one of the lucky ones

Who's clear about their future.

Oh yeah, and this is a requirement for high school graduation.

Working with the deceased?

No! Working in our area of interest.

And believe me I'm very excited about this opportunity.

Yes. Well (cough).

What do you want to get out of this internship?

A pass.

That's the extent of your passion?

Uh, no.

I'm just convinced I'm going to be very good at this.

Somehow.

Why?

You see? That's what the test says!

Okay. But why have you decided the test is right?

Why do you want to be a funeral director?

Well. Driving a hearse would be cool!

Wrong answer.

Come on sweetie, these are delicious!

I doubt she'll be wanting anything.

The x-rays came back today

And it looks like alice has an entire plastic

Buffet dinner inside her.

So, you're going to operate.

Right away.

Please mr. Lombardi!

I have nothing else lined up and the deadline was today!

If you don't hire me I won't graduate!

I beg of you, please, please hire me.

Fine! Enough of this!

I'll give you a chance!

Thank you. Thank you. You won't be sorry!

(Sigh) in half an hour a visitation is starting.

Let's see how you do with that

And then we can talk about the rest of the internship, okay?

Great! Who's visiting?

The friends and family of the deceased!

A mr. Chester freed.

Our make-up lady, joan,

Is just putting the finishing touches on him...

Make-up? On the dead guy?

(Coughing) yes.

And just so you know, we don't say 'dead guy' around here.

Here's a copy of some of our standards and practices.

Why don't you review them before the mourners arrive.

Let's start with something simple mr. Spitz.

Like directing the cars into parking spaces.

Can you handle that?

Of course!

Good!

(Whistle)

Hey!

Mr. Spitz!

This is a funeral, not a sporting event!

We need to be subdued.

Solemn. Sensitive!

Boy, who knew it could take so long to clean up a buffet?

Our job is to be helpful.

To provide assistance in a time of need.

I'll be inside making sure the immediate family

Is comfortable with the arrangements.

Please - let me assist you.

Hello? Hello?

Coming through people! Coming through!

Well, that was something, wasn't it?

What are you doing?

Just being helpful, like you said.

Maybe you should take a break.

It's okay. I think I'm finally hitting my stride here...

Now.

I don't think alice is going to make it, sharon.

There's been a lot of trauma to her intestine.

She has to make it!

Other animals have been way sicker than her

And you made them better.

It isn't always up to me.

You're mrs. Freed, right?

(Sniffles)

I know you're feeling blue.

Hey, we all get like that sometimes.

And it's a major bummer.

One day the elkford big horns win, the next they lose.

It's the way it goes.

But when they're down and out do they throw in the towel?

Call it quits?

Nahhh! They keep playing ball!

(Crying)

No! No! No!

What do you think you were doing!

I don't know what happened mr. Lombardi,

I was just trying to cheer her up!

Shouldn't I get her a tissue or something?

(Sigh) the worst thing you can do at a time like this

Is to try to make things better.

Even though death is the most natural event in the world,

The loss of a loved one is very painful.

It can't get better, not right now.

"So sorry for your loss" is all that's needed.

I think you should go now, adam.

I'm fairly convinced

That you have no natural affinity for this profession.

No driving the hearse?

(Crying)

Sharon, if you'd like to talk about this I'll-

No. It's okay.

I just can't believe she died.

Sharon!

I love all of you. I love you, okay?

And if anything ever happened to you,

I don't know what I would do!

Do you have my calculator?

Yeah. Somewhere.

Excellent. Somewhere is very helpful.

By the way, do you have any idea

What you can make a year delivering pizzas?

Will you please go away?

I'm sick of your insults!

I wasn't talking about you, I was talking about me!

Well, I'll probably be delivering pizzas too! Okay?

You were right about me. I'll never be a vet.

What are you talking about?

Death!

And a bunny who hardly had anything wrong with it.

Dr. Martin who's the best vet I know, couldn't even save her!

Maybe no one could, I don't know.

So why even bother trying to become a vet

If animals are just gonna die on you.

I mean look at me, I'm a mess!

Becoming a vet just isn't worth it?

I'd never be happy.

She had the cutest little nose.

I'm sorry, sharon.

Hey, shouldn't you be over at the funeral home?

Nope.

But I thought...

I stunk. They kicked me out. End of story.

Wow. I guess that means we're both in the same boat.

You don't know what you want to be.

And now I don't know either.

Well, I wouldn't write off the vet option yet, sharon.

I mean, death is a natural part of life.

And so is feeling sad about it.

In the end having those feelings

Is probably what's gonna make you a great vet.

(Knock on door)

Yeah?

Here is your calculator.

Adam, I think you do have what it takes

To be a funeral director.

Just so you know, you really made me feel much better.

Hm. Well. I'm glad.

But you weren't there today sharon.

People got more upset when I was around!

Okay so if that profession isn't for you,

You have tons of other options.

Like?

The test offered only one!

So? Tests aren't always right.

Who knows - maybe someone changed some answers around,

Putting in different information

So it would come out funny.

Adam I don't think the computer testing company

Would do that sharon.

But, uh, I might.

If you were really bugging me.

What? You messed with my test?

Don't k*ll me, okay?!

I didn't really fail then!

Cause I shouldn't have been there in the first place!

I have to call the school and tell them what happened!

So the good news was I was spared.

And the bad news...

Well I probably wouldn't be pulling any more pranks on adam

For a long, long time.

Would that make life boring?

Probably. Was it worth it?

Totally.

Very interesting. Your molars look great

And your tongue - very pink and very healthy-

Do you mind? Your playing vet game is distracting me.

I'm trying to do math!

I'm not playing vet. I'm practicing being one.

Did you see the mark on my latest science quiz?

It was hard not to. You made copies of it

And put it under my door this morning.

I think it's important to share good news.

Ahhh!

Sharon! Now I'm going to k*ll you!

How could you pull this trick a second time!

I don't know what you're talking about.

The test! The test!

You knew I was re-doing the it.

The school's giving me a second chance to find something.

And? How did it turn out.

You tell me!

I swear I didn't touch it!

What are you going to be now, adam?

A florist?

(Laughs)

What are you worried about?

You'll be great at floral arrangements...

And what about cute little daisy chains for flower girls?

Or corsages for the prom...

I swear sharon, I'm gonna get you...

You little- come here!

I'm innocent, I'm innocent.

It's those tests that are bogus.

Come here! You little guidance counsellor -

Ahhhh!

Where do you think you going?

Get back here!