02x26 - Up in Smoke

[bunniefuu]

♪ Something tells me I've been dreaming ♪

♪ Of someone who was never real. ♪

♪ It seems I've changed a thousand ways, ♪

♪ I wish I looked the way I feel! ♪

♪ Braceface! ♪

♪ My life is complicated! ♪

♪ Boyfriend! ♪

♪ Don't want to talk about it! ♪

♪ Teenage! ♪

♪ I'll work it out in the end! ♪

♪ Braceface! ♪

One again, another exciding day in elkford.

And to top off this thrilling afternoon at the mall

I was now heading home to more excitement.

(Phone rings)

Hello. Oh, hi dad.

Uh-huh.

Yeah.

What? Tomorrow?

I guess.

I'll have to check my busy schedule.

Okay. Bye.

Great. My dad wants me to go

To his girlfriend's condo for brunch tomorrow.

And to make it perfectly worse

I have to meet her 15-year-old son

Who's moving in with her,

And try to be friends.

Maria: wasn't this the guy who was in boarding school out east?

Didn't he live with his dad?

Yeah.

He's going to go to some new school downtown or something.

So he might be nice.

I doubt it.

You never know.

Maria, you have no idea what it's like

When you're forced to hang out with the kids

Of your parents boyfriends or girlfriends.

All they want is for you to get along

So they feel better about their divorce.

I don't want any more siblings or friends!

Uh, I'm just trying to help.

(Sighs)

All I wanted was for life to be exciting.

Was that such a big thing to ask for?

I don't get it.

Why didn't you force adam and josh to come?

I'm not forcing you to do anything sharon.

I'm asking.

And adam and josh both had practices they couldn't miss.

What's the deal with this griffin kid anyway?

Why can't he make his own friends?

He can and he will.

We're just making him feel welcome.

He's had a rough go of it the last few months.

Yeah, what's with that?

Did he get kicked out of boarding school or something?

Wow! He did get kicked out!

What'd he do?

We're not exactly sure yet...

All of this is getting sorted out.

In the meantime,

It's better for him to be with lauren instead of his dad.

So let's just be nice

And help him get adjusted to all the changes.

What do you say?

Griffin: why should I waste my life

Listening to these middle-aged people

Teach me things I'll never have to use in real life?

So you just stopped going to classes?

Yeah.

And then they kicked you out?

Uh huh.

And my dad couldn't hack it, of course,

'Cause he's so worried about what people will think,

And he's on the board of this and the executive of that,

So he sends me here. End of problem.

Richard: hey you guys, I'm glad to see you're getting along.

Griffin, come meet some of my friends from work.

Griffin: I don't really feel like it lauren,

But thanks.

I was just gonna show sharon here

My latest audio creation.

That sounds like a nice idea.

Ah... Sure.

Parrot: rock 'n' roll.

♪♪♪

(Rapping) ever since the day I saw my first microphone

I knew I found a way to make it here

Out on my own

No one telling me what to be

Who I'm supposed to be.

What! All you want is to see is me irresponsibly.

Very cool.

You're really trying to say something.

I think there's a lot to say about life

And no one's saying it loud enough.

That's exactly how I feel about animal rights

And a whole bunch of other things.

Some people are listening, but not enough!

Uh huh. I know.

Sharon: hey, this looks just like me!

I can't believe how talented you are.

So... I bet your dad forced you to come here

And make friends with me, right?

No, of course not.

I thought it would be nice to meet you.

Give it up sharon.

As if you didn't have anything better to do.

You probably hate lauren

Or at least barely tolerate her.

And I'm sure I'll hate richard.

Or at least barley tolerate him.

But hey, that's life.

The trick is figuring out how to make it work for you, right?

I think I'm gonna go outside for a "little break."

You wanna come?

Uh, no thanks. It's raining out.

Yeah. And?

And nothing.

So right now, while we play cards

For the ninety-ninth time this year,

He's out with his mom gallery hopping.

So you're stuck with us.

Sharon: it's not that.

Why don't we ever spend our sundays going to galleries?

Uh, 'cause we don't care about art?

What's so wrong with playing gin?

Nothing. It's just... I don't know... Too normal.

Excuse us!

I'm telling you guys, griffin is totally original.

He sees the world differently than we do.

So when are we going to meet him?

Oh. I don't know.

He's probably going to be really busy

Starting his new school.

Maria: whatever.

Alyson: gin.

Maria: oh man! Come on, sharon!

Sharon: the truth was,

I wasn't sure if I wanted griffin to meet my friends.

Compared to him they just seem so un-cool.

Psst.

Hey! What are you doing here?

Nothing else to do.

I swear, all the kids at my new school are total losers!

Really?

Uh huh. We're studying latin america in history

So I say hey,

Instead of drawing a stupid map of the place

Let's learn something cool like the rumba!

Really get to feel the culture.

Of course, major negative response to that one.

Of course.

So what are you up to tonight?

Uh, well. Not much.

So let's do something.

Well, my friends and I were sort of going to the mall.

Hang out at the food court. I don't know.

It's totally boring. You'd hate it.

So, forget the mall.

Do any of your friends have a pool?

Griffin: clear the deck!

Woo-hoa! Yeah!

The water's beee-u-tiful!

Come on in.

It's just that, well, there's no night swimming allowed.

The pool closed about an hour ago.

Griffin: night time swimming is where it's at!

There's no lifeguard during the day is there?

No, but...

So what difference does it make?

Brock: well it is getting pretty hot in here.

Maria, a quick little dip isn't going to hurt, is it?

Sharon: where are you!

Griffin: marco...

Brock: polo!

(Whistling)

Maria: shhh, everyone out!

The maintenance guy is coming!

There's a back door to the elevators.

Sharon: I'm going to k*ll you.

(Laughter)

Maria: I didn't say I didn't like him, I do.

I just think he's sort of wild.

What if we had got caught tonight?

But we didn't.

We're just lucky my parents aren't home yet.

Will you stop being so uptight.

At least griffin's getting us to do something different

For a change!

You're not getting a crush on him are you?

Of course not!

He could end up being my step-brother!

Right. Just checking.

Alyson: hey, we just realized what time it is...

We've all gotta get home!

Griffin I can't believe all your friends wimped out on us.

You don't have a curfew too do you?

Uh, sort of. But I'm staying over at my dad's tonight.

He told me I could stay out an extra half hour

'Cause I was hanging out with you.

Sharon: hey, what are we doing here?

This is your mom's building.

You going in already?

Griffin: shhh. Follow me.

I just need to make a pit stop.

I can't believe I forgot these tonight.

What are you doing?

What does it look like I'm doing?

Do you know how bad that is for you?

So what?

We're all going to die sooner or later.

Sharon: that's the stupidest argument I've ever heard.

So I'm stupid. We all know that.

That's not what I meant.

Want one?

Uh, no thanks.

Bo, you and your friends

Really know how to whoop it up, don't you?

Do any of you ever play "outside the box"

Without getting all nutty and paranoid?

Sure we do.

I'm just trying to quit right now.

I hear you. It's tough.

Can you do these?

Oh yeah. Sure. No problem.

Ouch...

Let's see.

Right.

Uh, I might be a little rusty.

(Coughing) uhhhh! Phew, yuckkkk!

Griffin: (laughing)

It's not funny!

Yes it is.

You're such a bad liar.

You've never smoked before!

(Coughing) leave me alone.

Hey!

Security guard: I could call the cops

And get you two charged with under-age smoking

And loitering!

So you better get lost, okay?

This is private property.

Hey man! My mom lives here!

Well then I'm sure she'll want to know

What you've been up to.

I've got a nice little movie to show her in there.

Richard: I think we've seen enough.

Helen: sharon, how long has this smoking thing been going on?

Griffin, were you smoking too?

Hey, everyone has to try smoking once in their life.

I swear it was my first and last time!

I hope so!

Do you know how addictive it is?

How terrible it is for your body?

Yes.

Grandma died of lung cancer!

From smoking two packs a day since she was a teenager!

I know.

Richard: I want to talk to your mother for a few minutes.

Our lives are over.

Maybe for you,

But lauren's never dished out a punishment in her life.

Richard: your mom and I have agreed

That this definitely warrants being grounded.

For the next month.

No extra-curricular activities,

Social engagements...

Richard: or phone, tv and computer privileges.

And we're booking an appointment with dr. Kraicer

So that you can hear first hand

The harm smoking does to your body.

Griffin: you think any of that's going to make a difference

If she wants to smoke again?

Richard: maybe not.

But she'll realize how serious we are

About not wanting her to.

I think you need to get the same message griffin.

What?

So now you're suddenly pretending to be strict mama?

Lauren: no, I'm learning.

You'll have the same consequences as sharon.

Fine.

But if you and your new boyfriend

Think you can control me, you're wrong!

Sharon: so basically it's a major prison sentence.

And, on top of that,

My mom doesn't want me hanging around griffin.

I probably shouldn't even be talking to you

In case you put bad ideas into my head or something.

I just can't believe you smoked.

Thanks for the sympathy card.

Why would you even try it?

Do you know that cigarettes

Have some of the same ingredients in them

As rat poisoning?

And nail polish remover?

Hey, what is this?

Is no one going to feel sorry for me?

Well, it's a drag you're not going to be around for a month,

But that was pretty stupid sharon.

Oh, come on.

Don't tell me you guys never thought of trying it.

Excuse me?

But I'd sort of like to be able to breathe when I work out.

And I have enough problems breathing with my asthma.

Alyson: and uh, I already did.

Try it, I mean.

You tried smoking?

Yeah. In eighth grade nina and I got into it.

How into it?

Well, at first we were just "trying it"

And then, I don't know,

We just ended up smoking all the time.

I can't believe you never told me this.

What happened?

Our parents caught us and went crazy.

At first we weren't worried

Because we thought we could quit whenever we wanted to,

But it was totally hard.

Maria: see? Nicotine's totally addictive.

Alyson: it is! And don't let anyone tell you it isn't!

That's how tobacco companies keep making money.

They try so hard to make it look like it's cool to smoke.

I went completely broke buying cigarettes!

So now you've quit for good?

Uh huh.

I don't know why anyone would even start.

I felt out of shape all the time,

My breath was horrible

And all my clothes and hair stank.

It totally was gross.

Well, it did taste pretty awful.

Sharon: after everything alyson said

The last thing I wanted to do was to smoke again.

But did that mean I could re-negotiate the terms

Of my house arrest?

Of course not.

My parents weren't budging.

I'm so bored!

I've done my homework,

I've even cleaned my room.

Now what?

Sorry. My nails are still wet.

(Phone rings)

I got it!

Helen: it's okay sharon! It's for me!

And besides you're not supposed to be using the phone!

I thought we had settled this.

I disagree!

He obviously has major problems richard!

And, no, I'm not going to let sharon just be his friend

While he works them out!

Richard: do you know how un-cool that is

Helen: whoa, wait a minute...

All I'm saying is he's a good kid

That just needs a strong role model right now.

Fine.

You do your thing with him and keep sharon out of it.

Helen, we don't know for sure

That he pressured sharon into smoking.

We can pretty well bet on it.

Since when do you jump to conclusions

Before you get the facts.

I'm a psychologist, richard!

I can spot his type a mile away.

Oh, please, don't use that on me.

Are you saying my judgment doesn't count then?

Stop protecting him!

The bottom line is

Your girlfriend's son is messed up

And the last thing I want

Is for sharon to get messed up too.

Stop it! Both of you!

Helen: sharon! How long have you been listening?

Long enough!

Don't you think I have a brain?

That I can think for myself?

Richard: of course you can.

Then let me!

Helen, we'll continue this conversation another time.

In private.

Helen: sharon, we need to talk.

Sharon!

(Slams door)

Great. They're all smudged.

I didn't understand my parents.

Now they were making it sound

Like I was some big problem child.

It was so obvious they were the ones with the problems!

Sharon: (sighing) do you think people will have forgotten about me?

I mean, by the time my parents set me free?

Hey!

Psst! I'm here to help you break loose!

Shhh! Don't wake anyone up!

Come down!

Sharon: you come up!

If my mother wakes up and finds me up here with you, I'm dead.

Talking about mothers,

It was such a joke watching lauren

Try to do the strict routine.

In the end she just couldn't hack it!

So what does that mean?

You're not grounded anymore?

Uh huh.

The only problem now is your old man.

I'm like his next big mission or something.

He won't leave me alone!

What do you mean?

Uh, please be careful up there.

Oh, he keeps inviting me over to his rehearsal studio

To listen to his band play.

He's even offered to give me drum lessons if I want.

What's so bad about that?

Come on! Your dad's a has-been.

As if I'd ever want to learn anything from him!

Here, check it out.

I made him a little present so he'll get the message

I don't need any more "father replacement therapy."

Richard's voice: ♪ I'm always gonna love you babe ♪

♪ Even if you find your way on your own... ♪

This is my dad's big hit from ten years ago!

Right. His one hit.

Keep listening.

Griffin's voice: ♪ I'm never gonna love you man ♪

♪ Even if you think you can love my mama. ♪

♪ You're on your own... ♪

Isn't that hilarious?

You haven't given him this have you?

No, I thought I'd share it with you first!

Thanks. Thanks a lot.

My dad wrote that song for me when I was a little girl.

So what?

I thought you'd think it was funny.

Richard's being a jerk, admit it!

Will you shut up about my dad already?!

I know he's not perfect

But actually, I think it's sort of nice

That he's been trying to hang out with you.

He's got better things to do, you know.

Please.

He's just trying to get in good with lauren.

You don't think he really cares about me do you?

Why would he?

I'm going in.

I'm just saying no one's going to tell me what to do.

Oh please!

You think you're so cool being mr. Rebel,

Mr. I-don't-care-what-people think-about-me

And it's so obvious that you do care!

Give it up sharon.

You don't believe that anyone can really care about you

Because you don't care about yourself.

Right.

If you did, you'd stop smoking.

And doing all the other things that are messing up your life.

Thank you for that public service announcement

Miss spitz.

You're welcome.

Sharon: after everything that happened this week

There was one thing griffin was right about.

The trick to life was figuring out

How to make it work for you.

Maria:(groggy) hello?

(Whispering) hey, it's me.

I gotta be quick so I don't get caught using my cell phone

But I just wanted to say you are totally not boring, okay?

(Groggy) yeah. Okay.

Just so you know.

Okay. Now I know. Thanks. Bye.

Sharon: I didn't know what griffin was going to do with his life.

But I knew one thing about mine.

Even if my parents still drove me crazy

My life was working pretty great,

Just the way it was.