05x13 - Evil Hotel

[bunniefuu]

[music playing]

You need to hook me
up with a good-looking

date for the awards ceremony.

And don't forget
to make sure he's

blond so he matches my shoes.

And please, no B-listers.

I'm bored.

How long until we
get to this place?

Don't worry.

We're almost there.

Hey.

What's up with
all the dizzy-diz?

Oh.

[screaming]

I'm so glad I transferred to
Mali-U. We you guys has made

this the best semester ever.

I found something.

Who knew paleontology
could be this fun?

If you call clogged pores
and chipped nails fun.

For some reason,
our artifact doesn't

seem to want to come out.
- Here.

Let me try.

[gasping]

Hey.

Not bad, Clover.

[gasping]

[bell ringing]

Years of ping
pong competition.

It's all in the wrist.
- I wish I was more like you.

You always seem to know exactly
how to get the job done.

Really?

I'm surprised.

I've always been kind
of jealous of you.

No way.

I should be super
envious of you.

I'm always trying to live
up to the legend of Alex.

[grunting]

Who doesn't want to be just
like WOOHP's ultimate superspy?

Is she talking about our Alex?

Wow.

Thanks, Brit.

Hey.

It's T-Bone.

Huh?

Isn't he the greatest?

I know.

He's my fave singer
and such a great actor.

Did you see his
movie "Cruise Cafe?"

- Only 21 times.
- Oh.

And he has the coolest
catchphrase ever.

What you gonna do about it?

I guess we have more in
common than we thought.

You're about to have
something else in common--

a long weekend getaway.

You mean like a road trip?

Exactly.

It'll be a rehearsal
for spring break.

And I know where we should go--

the Aqua Vitae Resort.

Located off the coast
of Tamale Island,

the world's finest
underwater hotel

is a vacation dream come true.

Ah.

I am totally in.

Aqua Vitae Resort.

I'd like to make a
reservation for two rooms

with massages, hot stone
treatments, chocolate facials.

Excuse me.

But are you any of
the following-- movie

star, singer, or celebutante?

No, no, and almost.

Then you aren't welcome here.

The resort is for VIPs only with
an emphasis on the V. Good day.

Looks like we'll be
spending the weekend chilling

on the beach here
at Mali-U. I guess

there are worse things in life.

I guess this is one of
those worse things in life.

[screaming]

Jerry, when it comes to the
WOOHP tunnel, three's company,

but four is totally a crowd.

Point taken.

Now I've brought you
here for a matter

of the utmost importance.

Water levels around the world
are rising at an alarming rate.

What's wrong with that?

The beach will be that
much closer to our dorm.

Score.

Your positive
outlook is refreshing.

But you girls must find
out why this is happening.

[alarm going off]

Looks like we
have a doubleheader.

Indeed.

There's a celebrity
kidnapping epidemic.

This time, the
intended target was

someone by the name of T-Bone.

T-Bone.

Apparently Mr. Bone
was seeking inner peace

in a herbal, hydro
meditation tank when someone

tried to drive off with it.

Luckily, he managed to escape.
- Phew.

Still, we must find out
why so many celebrities

have been abducted.

I'll need two of you to
investigate this recent attack.

[sighing]

This is the perfect
chance to meet T-Bone.

Please, Jer, we
need this mission.

Very well.
It's yours.

Now you'll all
need some gadgets.

We're gonna meet T-Bone.

We're gonna meet T-Bone.

Here you go.

The Wind Tunnel 9,000,
oxygen lipstick.

Ew.

This color is like
so three seasons ago.

This lipstick is not
a fashion accessory.

When applied to
your lips, it allows

you to breathe underwater.

And here's the Destructo
Ring cell phone.

It emits a sonic ringtone that
can destroy anything it hits.

And no, it doesn't
make personal calls.

Good luck, spies.

Thanks, Jer.

OK.

Here's your stop, T-Bone's
Hollywood bungalow.

Where are you gonna land?

Were not landing.

We don't wanna disturb all
the celebrities down there.

You'll be using the
new WOOHP Plummet Pod.

Are you sure it's safe?

It worked
perfectly in the lab.

Bon voyage, girls.

[screaming]

I probably
shouldn't have eaten

that burrito before a mission.

Now I know what it feels
like to be born a baby chick.

Hey.

If we were just born, that
means we're kinda like sisters.

We're twinsie,
but come on, sis.

I can't believe we're
T-Bone's groupie pad.

[music playing]

Hey.

That's my fave T-Bone tune.
[SINGING] You stole my heart,

then you took my parking spot.

Oh, baby, why?

It's T-Bone.

And he's chilling
in a hot tub.

Yeah.

Nice wardrobe.

Your mother dress you?

No wonder you got
kicked out of Teensicle.

T-Bone, I'm Alex.

And this is Britney.

And we're your biggest fans.

So what are you doing here?

Don't worry.

We were sent to check out
that earlier attack on you.

Oh, that.

It's cool now.

Probably just an
overly excited fan.

Yeah.

Aren't they the worst?

So do you have any
questions or anything?

[LAUGHING] Could you do
your catchphrase for us?

[COUGHING] It'll totally help
us out with our investigation.

Well, if it'll help.

What you gonna do about it?

Oh.

Wow.

That hot tub is intense.

Celebrities have
the coolest things.

Hey.

Help me.

Don't worry, T-Bone.

We've got your back.

I always wanted to be
in a hot tub with T-Bone,

but not like this.

Time for the oxygen lipstick.

Wait.

That's not my color.

I'm more of an autumn.

[screaming]

Those cabanas are so rad.

Nothing like some prime
beachfront property.

But those cabanas used
to be on top of a hill.

So unless someone moved them--

huh?

The island is
becoming submerged.

But how?

Check it out.

Sometimes nature looks even
better in person than on TV.

There shouldn't be any
waterfalls on this island.

This waterfall is man-made.

You're right.

It's faker than
Mandy's hair color.

Hey.

Stop.

We need to talk to you.

Why is there a bellhop
underneath a fake waterfall?

Wow.

That's like the deep existential
riddle where the answer

leads to more questions.

One semester of
Philosophy 101,

and you get all flaky on me.

OK.

What's the deal
with this waterfall?

And your look?

Hotel employee chic
is totally played out.

I really hate it when they run.

[grunting]

We got you.

Might as well give up.

Or maybe not.

[screaming]

So much for my
leave-in conditioner.

Looks like we got ourselves
a souvenir from our mission.

Let's head back to WOOHP and
see if Jerry can help figure out

what's going on here.

[SCREAMING] T-Bone,
don't leave us.

Whoa.

Whoa.

What a rush.

Man, this place has
got it going on.

Welcome to the Aqua
Vitae Resort, where

the celebrity is always right.

First-class accommodations,
five-star entertainment.

What more do you need?

Try to think of the
resort as your new home.

This must be a perk
from the studio head.

Yeah.

Now that's what
I'm talking about.

I thought hot tubs were
supposed to make you feel good.

We've got to find T-Bone.

This time, they got him.

[grunting]

Looks like they got us too.

Maybe not.

We've got the Destructo
Ring Cell Phone.

Ah.

So either we're out
of a service area,

or the WOOHP technicians
didn't make them waterproof.

Don't move, Alex.

The water keeps rising.

I've never seen
anything like it.

It's the same on the island.

There were giant tubes
pumping water to the surface.

But we found this.

One of the guys behind the
flooding was wearing it.

That's odd.

The hat is made with material
from the WOOHP prison sewing

room.

A sewing room in a prison?

Must be really popular.
- Not really.

In fact, only one of our
prisoners ever went in there.

You might remember
Captain Hayes.

It seems he used the sewing
machines to make replicas

of famous movie costumes.

But he's still
locked up, right?

No.

He also used the sewing
machines to make a replica

of a prison guard's uniform.

It was so realistic.

Jerry, we've been kidnapped.

Where are they?

Don't worry.

This WOOHP signal tracker has
locked in on their coordinates.

They're at the
Aqua Vitae Resort.

What?

That's so unfair.

I couldn't even
get a reservation.

Something tells me
they're not vacationing.

Off you go, girls.

I have a vehicle that will
get you there in no time.

- This is ridiculous.
- Hey.

When mingling with celebs,
you have to dress for success.

It's the law.

Girls, you are approaching
the Aqua Vitae Resort.

One problem, Jer.

How are we gonna get in there?

It's VIP only.

It's all taken care of.

I've made some
special arrangements.

So much for the
red carpet treatment.

Next time, could you get
us a limo at least, Jer?

[screaming]

You can't eat us.

We're famous.

I guess we really
are crashing the party.

I don't believe it.

It's Shoshanna.

Do you have your camera?

No time for stargazing.

We are only here to
find Captain Hayes.

I think we lost him.

[coughing]

[gasping]

Welcome to the Aqua
Vitae Resort, where

the celebrity is always right.

So tell me, why are you famous?

I'm a novelist.

Books?

Don't you know print is dead?

But her new book
is being turned

into a blockbuster movie
starring everyone who's

anyone, including me, Clover.

Oh, in that case, I'm
very pleased to meet you.

I hope you'll enjoy my
state of the art hotel.

We've got nightclubs featuring
the world's hottest DJs,

fully equipped spas,
round-the-clock room service--

all created to keep
VIPs like you happy.

This place rocks.

Race you to the spa.

Don't you think we should
save Alex and Britney

before you get a facial?

Ugh.

There's always something.

This is your captain speaking.

Welcome aboard.

I have gathered you here in
order to save your lives.

You see, I am
flooding the world so

that the only survivors will
be all the beautiful celebs

here on the Aqua Vitae.

[gasping]

And I'll be the
only one who will get

to hang out with all you stars.

[laughing]

He's crazy.

[screaming]

That dude is totally
cramping my style.

I'm so out of here.

The problem is
we're underwater.

There's no way out.

[screaming]

[laughing]

We've got to find a
way to stop the captain

and reverse the flooding.

Let's bust in
and take him down.

BRITNEY AND ALEX: Help.

Somebody help us.
Behind the door.

Help.

It's Britney and Alex.

Locked.

This calls for some super
kick Kung Fu action.

Ow.

Solid steel.

Not good.

Time to make a call.

I can't stand
celebrity posers,

especially when they're spies.

Welcome aboard.

Captain Hayes.

You're supposed to be
in the WOOHP prison.

And my resort is supposed
to be for celebrities only.

That's better.

I hate wasting electricity
on a couple of nobodies.

Oh, but don't get your hopes up.

You stowaways are never
going to leave here.

Now to get back to my
famous new friends.

Ha ha ha ha ha.

Oh.

Ha.

[GASPING] The cell phone's
all wet and fizzled out.

Same here. guess
we're on the same plan.

Ugh.

You guys really need to work
on your rescue techniques.

We can use that
inflatable furniture.

Really?
But it's so tacky.

I'll use the Wind Tunnel


a lot more air.

[gasping]

[screaming]

It worked.

CROWD: [GASPING] Uh.

What?
Huh?

Hey.

Whoa.

[LAUGHING] Does hanging
out with celebrities

make me a celebrity too?

All it does is make you
a celebrity hanger-on.

Take that back.

They're my friends.

Alex, you and Britney get the
celebrities onto the WOOHP sub.

Clover and I'll take care of
Captain Misguided over here.

Easier said than done.

Have you met my entourage?

[bell ringing]

Oh.

Since you got us out of the
room, you should save him.

No.

You're the president
of his online fan club.

You save him.

Will one of you
please save me?

And watch the face.

Follow me, and we'll
get you out of here.

[screaming]

Faster.

Faster.

Clover, watch out.

Ah.

That's coming out of your pay.

Thanks for the heads-up.

[grunting]

I think you're gonna be
needing a wake-up call.

Oh.

The tide may have turned,
but I'm not done yet.

Hmm.

I found the master
control panel.

Let's see if I can reverse
the Earth's flow of water.

That's one way to do it.

Now let's check out
of here before we have

to deal with the captain again.

[screaming]

- Position 35267-niner.
- Don't worry.

It's gonna be OK.

Yeah.

We'll get you home safely.

[gasping]

It's the underwater hotel.

And apparently it's mobile.

They didn't mention
that in the brochure.

I told you my hotel
was state of the art.

If I can't hang out with you
celebrities, then nobody can.

[laughing]

Say cheese.

Portside.

Oh.

[screaming]

Starboard.

Let's see if that hotel
can keep up with this.

I think it's time we got
a little bit stealthy.

I think it worked.

We're safe.

Hey.

Do you hear something?

[beeping]

Full speed ahead.

Oh, you celebrities.

We could have been
so happy together.

Portside.

[screaming]

If my calculations about
the declining sea levels

are correct, the shoreline
just might work in our favor.

Might work?

That's not good enough.

I need to call my agent.

This totally isn't cool.

My stunt double isn't even here.

All of you, sit down
and fasten your seatbelts.

We've got everything
under control.

Get back here.

Everyone, brace yourselves.

[screaming]

[screaming]

Ah.

Can I get just one
more autograph?

It's not for me.

Ha.

All the celebs have
been returned home safely.

Good work, girls.

You really do make a great team.

And the best part is we're
gonna be together forever.

While it's good to
see you girls bonding,

I have some important news.

Britney has been transferred
to WOOHP Australia.

[GASPING] Oh, no.

Don't be sad.

You guys are my
new best friends.

I'll call every single day.

And Britney, we're
going to be pairing you up

with superspy
Blaine on missions.

Oh, he's cute.

You stay away
from my boyfriend.

[grunting]

Oh, I never liked her.

[music playing]