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05x24 - Totally Icky

Episode transcripts for the TV show, "Totally Spies!". Aired: 3 November 2001 – 3 October 2013.*
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The series focuses on the adventures of three teenage girls from Beverly Hills, California – Clover, Sam, and Alex – who live a double life as secret agents working for the World Organization of Human Protection (WOOHP).

05x24 - Totally Icky

Post by bunniefuu »

[theme song]

[end theme song]

[music playing]

[yelling]

[laughter]

You!

Are you responsible for this?

[machine sounds]

No!

Please no!

[screaming]

[music playing]

How awesome is
it that Mali-U is

nominated for a
Cleany Award for most

pristine campus in the West!

Totally awesome.

Let's celebrate with some
chewy-gooey-tuna-pistachio gum.

Sounds appetizing,
but no thanks.

Alex, you know I only chew
low-carb-sugar-free-nonfat-vegan

gum.

I don't see how we're not
going to win this award.

The Mali-U grounds are
completely flawless.

Oh!

Like, what's the 911?

What?

[gasp]

Hands in the air, perpetrator.

Not you two losers,
just this loser.

Me?

Why me?

As head of volunteer
campus patrol I

am taking you into custody
for statute number 067980,

littering.

Littering?

I'd never do that to
our beloved campus.

Oh, really?

And I suppose that
this isn't yours?

Chewy-gooey-tuna-pistachio?

[gasp] But I thought I--

Save it for the
judge, criminal.

Let's go litter-scum.

[laughter]

Wait, Mandy, this is
all a misunderstanding.

Alex would never--

Huh?

[marching music]

You are officially
banished to the Mali-U

holding cell until sentencing
for your heinous crime.

Hey.

Wow!

This is almost as
nice as my dorm.

And there aren't even
any bars or guards.

The holding cell is on
the honor system, duh.

This is Mali-U after all,
we're not barbarians.

Natch.

Mandy, you have
to listen to reason.

No visitors.

Ease up on the
power trip, you two.

It's just a volunteer gig.

Gig?

Volunteer Campus
Patrol is my life!

And just a little warning.

If you try to break
and go all fugee,

you'll be booted out
of Mali-U, forever.

Forever is a really long time.

Last time I saw her
this revved up, we

are fighting over the latest
D'Archi purse at Bag Boutique.

You girls better
leave before--

[screaming]

Ugh.

Jerry, are you trying
to get me booted out

of the most awesome U in Mali?

Huh.

Alex is being detained
on a littering charge.

Oh, Alex, littering
is disgraceful.

It was an accident!

Very well.

Whoa.

Hey cool!

That's me.

Jerry, you created
a time-machine, so I

can be in two places at once.

No, wait, that
doesn't make sense.

I know, it's a clone!

It's a hologram, Alex.

Oh, I guess that's
kind of impressive.

Handsome

Hmm.

Oh!

I could so use that device
for disastrous dates.

[evil laughter]

Sorry, Clover, I
wouldn't dream of using

this for personal reasons.

Anymore.

Now, back to business.

There are reports of dirt-filled
tornadoes, floods of sludge,

and other polluted goings
on all over Beverly Hills.

Gross!

Indeed.

Who would want to dirty up BH?

Hopefully, you'll
find out, and soon.

The consequences
of such filth are

proving quite catastrophic
to the environment.

Oh my, another disturbance
is being reported right now.

Better gadget us, pronto, Jer.

Yes, here you are.

You're multifunction charm
bracelet, net throwing

extendable rod mascara,
inflatable lint roller,

and the new and
improved chilled brella.

Awesome choices, Jerry.

Now give Beverly
Hills a makeover.

Post-haste.

[screaming]

I'm leaving!

Ew!

And to think this was my
fav chai tea hang out.

On the bright side, there's
probably no line right now.

Ew!

[bell]

Hello, is anyone here?

Well, at least
the chaos is over.

[alarm]

Ew!

Not over!

Hmm.

Sammy, this is guacamole.

It's raining dip.

What do we do?

Wallow in it!

Girls, I think we've
found our litter-bug.

[yelling]

Don't attack!

Whoa!

Come on g*ng.

We can take out one
little polluter.

Yeah!

Think about all the legit
baddies we've taken on.

Get them!

[screaming]

OK, this is just plain mean!

[screaming]

Good thinking, Clover!

Only mother nature is allowed
to give me a bad hair day.

Oh! floor wax!

[evil laughter]

What kind of wacko robot
is armed with floor wax?

And it's not
even lemon scented.

Cheapo.

Girls, look at this.

A feather.

Better head back to Mali-U
and do some research.

I'm all for that.

I've been gone too long from my
totally awesome holding cell.

I can't wait to use
the elliptical machine.

[music playing]

Whoa!

You'll be faced with the
stiffest punishment allowable

for such blatant disrespect
to the most gorgeous

campus in the whole world.

Mm-hmm.

So a few hours in
the holding cell

has turned you into a
hardened criminal, huh?

Are you going to take
being ignored by this loser?

Mindy!

Don't undermine me in
front of the prisoner.

Like, I'm totally
supporting you.

It's settled.

For playing hardball, I am
not waiting until tomorrow.

I hereby sentence you to
clean the entire campus.

Starting now.

Now?

Ha!

Look who's talkative,
all of a sudden.

Well, too late to beg.

Hmm.

Get picking, loser.

Oh boy.

Phewph.

Mali-U will remain
the most awesomely

clean campus in all of So.

Cal.

Mission accomplished, Mandy.

You call this accomplished?

How could you leave
that on the ground?

It's a leaf.

Wrong!

If a leaf is not on
a tree, it's garbage.

Now pick it up!

It's going to be a long night.

Only for losers.

[yawn]

How are you holding up, Alex?

Like she even
needs to answer that.

Just look at her.

Litter duty is one thing,
but that uber ugly outfit is

cruel and unusual punishment.
- Totally.

No one could make this color
work except a jack-o-lantern.

That must be the results
of the feather analysis.

Apparently it's from a feather
duster used by Clean Freaks.

I don't think
it's fair to call

someone a clean freak
just because they

use a feather duster, Sammy.

No, Clean Freaks is
a cleaning service.

Better call Jer
and fill him in.

I'm going to do a little
more digging on Clean Freaks.

Spies, I'm-- Oh, Alex, orange
is not doing you any favors,

dear.

Alex's mega fashion crisis is
the least of our worries, Jer.

Our only lead right now
is a feather used by Clean

Freaks cleaning service.

Oh my, I was hoping for more.

Beverly Hills is at a stage


Ugh.

Hey, look at this.

Clean Freaks is located
in the center of BH.

I bet it's coming from there.

Excellent find, Sam.

You'd better go
undercover as maids

and infiltrate Clean Freaks.

Maids?

But Jer, does that mean we'll
have to touch even more dirt?

Quite possibly.

Ugh.

Better switch uni's.

Ew!

I think I'm going to be sick.

Suddenly, In my orange
jumpsuit doesn't seem so bad.

[gasp] These Clean Freak's
are freakishly dirty.

Huh?

Yeah, how does such a messy
place win such a shiny award?

[gasp] Hey, Alex, you
found a secret panel.

Way to snoop.

Come on!

Hello, like, what kind of
bizarre feather duster is that?

Girls.

Look at all the attachments.

It's that robot-thingy that
attacked us in Hotel Posh.

Shh.

Don't wake it!

[yelling]

Did you hear that?

Sounds like it's coming
from the trash chute.

Uh.

Whoa!

Yowser!

Breath freshener.

I switched so I don't have
to worry about dropping

any gum wrappers.

Yow!

Help!

Look out!

Help us!

Jerry is so going to make
up for this assignment.

ALL: Incoming!

Get it off, get it off!

Whoa!

Ah.
Minty fresh.

Come on!

We have to free the others.

I wouldn't do that if you.

Allow me to introduce myself.

Maid Meredith at your disposal.

Garbage disposal that is!

[evil laughter]

Like, you, seriously,
need a refresher course

in cleanliness, maid messy!

What do you know about it?

I bet you've never washed
a dish in your life.

Well I'm sick of you and all
the other unappreciative snobs

that take my work for granted.

Hey!

I just cleaned an entire campus.

So there.

Oh boo hoo, hoo.

I keep all of Beverly
Hills pristine.

But no more!

Soon it will be an
uninhabitable dump.

But you're not
just being untidy,

you're ruining the environment.

Good.

If I have it my way, they'll
name a hole in the ozone

after me.

Don't count on it.

[gasp]

The thingy, it's awake!

Meet the world's first
international vacuum dirtier.

The Hoovrica 3,000.

Together we will
pollute the world.

We'll see about that.

Come on girls.

Let's clean house.

[yelling]

[evil laughter]

So that was a
little embarrassing.

OK, ugly floral.

Hideous.

But ugly floral
covered in trash?

Like, Sammy, I'm
seriously freaking, here.

Ayy-ah!

[evil laughter]

Hoovrica comes with 58
interchangeable attachments.

Five of them turbocharged.

No one dunks my BFF in
bucket of dirty water.

Ayy-ah!

Get him, Clover.

That's right.

It's just you and me, now.

Show me what you got, dirt bag.

Miss me?

I think you did.

[gasp]

I'm totally
grossing myself out.

Bravo, bravo Hoovrica.

Now we'll leave these
ingrates to perish in filth.

Trapped forever?

We're doomed.

We're trapped!

Calm down, everyone.

There's nothing to be scared of.

No one's ever perished
from being in a dirty room.

All right.

I'll admit the ceiling closing
in on us is a bit of an issue.

Sammy, I don't want
to be trash-compacted!

Let's see.

Nail file, curling iron,
oh, here we go, mini-slicer.

Sammy!

Alex!

Way to save us from
a messy fate, Clover.

We'll get the others.

Clover, you get the door.

It's locked!

Hurry!

Quickly!

We're going to be crushed!

Now I know how a
can of sardines feels.

Sardines without
a net throwing,

extendable rod, mascara, maybe.

Brilliant move, Alex!

Oh, it won't hold for long.

Bottle opener,
lip liner, tweezers.

Hurry Clover!

I'm hurrying!

Paper clip, hacksaw, toe
nail clipper, wait, I know.

My totally awesome hair clip.

Duh.

Well I'll tell you one
thing they're not getting

a bonus, that's for sure.

I'm finding another service.

Clean Freaks is fired.

WOOHP check?

Girls, I just got word that
Beverly Hills is in danger

of being completely destroyed.

What's your status
on the mission?

Well, we posed as
maids, like you suggested.

Got beat up by a vacuum cleaner,
tossed in a trash compactor,

and then watched helplessly
as the baddie escaped.

I trust there's
good news forthcoming?

Yeah, we are super-spies, Jer.

I slapped a tracking device
on that outrageous Hoovrica.

Good thinking, Clover.

I'll feed the WOOHP GPS tracking
signal to your x-powder.

Girls, maid Meredith is
heading right toward campus.

She has another
thing coming if she

thinks she's going to dirty up
Mali-U after all my hard work.

[screaming]

Hey!

I just cleaned the quad.

You!

You'll wish you stayed
in the trash compactor.

[screaming]

Sewer volcano!

Time to put a
lid on this trash.

Oh yeah, I'd like to see
you try to bust this dust.

Eek!

Revenge of the dust bunnies!

Ah!

I'm caught!

Hold on, Alex!

I have no choice.

Whoa!

Thanks, Sammy.

We, seriously, need a
new plan of attack, girls.

[evil laughter]

We need to disable
that monstrous menace.

And I know just how to do it.

What's the enemy
of every vacuum?

Hair.

Sam, you're not suggesting--

Don't be ridiculous.

What's harrier than
a head of hair?

No fair, she didn't give
us a chance to answer.

I was going to say two heads.

Like, totally odd time to
want to borrow my most fav

angora pullover ever, Sammy.

Just remember, it's for
the greater good, Clover.

Sam, no!

Not my entire angora collection.

Take my hair!

Take my hair!

No can do.

This is bigger than your hair.

No!

Hungry?

I have the perfect
snack for you!

I can't watch!

Oh.

No!

No!

My baby!

Oh, oh oh.

So sad to see someone lose
their prized possession.

Tell me about it.

No, my babies!

[crying]

[music playing]

You know what they
say, don't do the crime

if you can't do the time.

Job well done
once again, girls.

You owe me big
time for this, Jer.

What's that you say, Clover?

I better get to it, or Mali-U
won't win the Cleany award.

[music playing]

Guess it's worth it.

Mali-U is the most
awesome campus ever.

Most awesome campus ever.

Yeah, ever!

I'm finished with
my duty, Mandy.

And if I'm not mistaken, your
volunteer time is up too.

Lucky for you.

[beep-beep]

Hands in the air.

Not you, Alex.

Oh, phew.

I'm pretty tired.

What's going on?

I didn't do anything.

We are taking you into custody
for statute number 067980,

littering.

Me?

Never!

Opaline Orchard Shimmer Gloss.

Is this your lipstick?

Yes.

But-- Huh?

I am innocent!

Innocent!

That's what they all say.

Oh, girls.

Don't forget the best part.

Not me!

[crying]

[theme music]