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03x23 - 23's a Crowd

Episode transcripts for the TV show, "Braceface". Aired: June 2, 2001 – September 1, 2004.*
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The show, set in Elkford, British Columbia, depicts the travails of a teenaged Sharon Spitz, who is a junior high school student with braces that get in the way of leading a normal teenage life.

03x23 - 23's a Crowd

Post by bunniefuu »



(Beeping)

♪ Something tells me

I’ve been dreaming ♪

♪ Of someone who was

never real ♪

♪ It’s seems I’ve changed

a thousand ways ♪

♪ I wish I looked

the way I feel ♪

♪ Braceface

♪ My life gets complicated

♪ Boyfriends

♪ Don’t want to talk about it ♪

♪ Teenage

♪ I’ll work it out in the end ♪

♪ Ooh, ooh

♪ Ah

♪ Ah



♪ Braceface

♪ My life gets complicated

♪ Boyfriends

♪ Don’t want to talk about it ♪

♪ Teenage

♪ I’ll work it out in the end ♪

♪ Braceface

Can you believe how cute

these kitty toys are?

You said that about twelve

times!

I know.

I can’t wait to give them to the

cats.

Well, you spent a mini

fortune on them, considering you

just went and bought Moshe a new

collar.

I can’t help it.

I love that pet supply store.

It’s very cutting-edge.

Oh, is that why they sell

earmuffs shaped like cat ears?

Weren’t those the cutest?

And these cat treats smell so

yummy don’t they?

Yeah, to cats!

Yes!

Hey Adam.

Bulking up for a wrestling

match?

Nope, just flexing my

sandwich making muscles.

Adam, have you replaced the

screen in the living room yet?

Sorry Mom, I’ll get to it.

You’ve been saying that for

days, sweetie.

When I finish my snack, I

promise.

That could take days.

Okay, guys.

Treat time!

Come and get it!

Some for you, Lawrence.

And some for Roxy.

(Purring)

That started their engines!

What about Moshe?

Why isn’t he here?

I don’t know, but I have to

put on his new collar.

Hey Moshe!

Come here Moish!

Moshe!

Come here Moish!

Maybe he’s sleeping.

Are you kidding?

Not through treat time.

Hey Moish!

Moshe!

Moshe, are you in here?

Moshe?

Come here, Moshe.

Moshe, where are you?

Where could he have gone?

(Knocking)

Mom, have you seen Moshe?

I can’t find him anywhere.

Um, he was on the living room

chair a little while ago.

Uh-oh.

Sharon, look!

This is Moshe’s fur.

He must have gone out.

Oh, no!

He doesn’t even have a collar

on.

His old one broke.

Okay, let’s calm down.

He can’t have gone far.

(Meowing)

Roxy, no, get back.

(Burping)

What’s going on?

Moshe got out through that

rip in the screen.

You should have fixed it, Adam!

I’m really sorry, Sharon, I--

Well could you fix it now

please before another cat gets

out?

Come on, Maria.

BOTH: Moshe!

Here, kitty kitty kitty!

Here, kitty kitty kitty!

If you guys are looking for

Moshe, I think I just saw him.

BOTH: Where?

Sitting on the front porch of

the strange lady’s house.

Let’s go.

Oh, he’s not here.

Let’s knock on the door and

ask her if she’s seen him.

No wait, we have to think.

About what?

The strange lady.

She’s really grumpy.

But she might know where

Moshe went.

Right.

Let’s just check it out

first.



Wow, it looks like a movie set.

SHARON: Oh, there’s Moshe!

MARIA: Well, he looks pretty

comfortable.

SHARON: That’s not the point.

He’s been catnapped!

Okay, here goes.

What?

Are you selling cookies?

I’m hypoglycaemic.

Um, no, but you have my cat.

I’d like him back, please.

What cat?

What are you talking about?

Moshe.

He’s in your living room on your

chair?

How do I know he’s yours?

I beg your pardon?

I can’t just release an

animal to anyone.

Uh, my name is Sharon Spitz.

I live a few blocks down that

way.

That’s very dangerous,

letting a cat out, especially

without a collar.

I didn’t let him out.

He’s a housecat.

It was an accident.

And his collar broke.

Sounds like you’re not doing

a very good job taking care of

your cat.

That’s not true!

Now can I please give him back?

When you can prove he’s

yours.

And by the way, his name is

Fabien.

Fabien??

What am I going to do?

How am I going to get Moshe

back?

What kind of person names a

cat Fabien?

Especially one that looks

like Moshe.

How can I prove to her he’s

my cat?

It’s not like I have his birth

certificate, or anything.

Well, you have pictures of

him.

Yeah, just show her one with

the two of you together.

That’s brilliant!

I’ll go do that right now.

Um, I’m supposed to meet

Brock for Garage Night.

Garage Night?

Yeah, it’s when we hang out

in his garage for no reason

whatsoever...

I’ll just phone him and tell him

I can’t make it.

No, don’t do that.

Yeah, I’ll go back with

Sharon.

You sure?

Yeah.

Yes.

Here, a picture of me with my

cat.

Who’s birthday was it?

Moshe’s.

What colour are her eyes?

Blue, and Moshe’s a he.

Right, okay.

I’ll go get him.

Come in and sit.

I don’t want to leave the door

open.

(Meowing)

Hey guys.

Look at all of you!

Oh, aren’t you pretty?

Yes you are!

Oh, hi there!

What’s your name.

(Gasping): I better--

(Sneezing)

No, Conner, go.

I’ll be fine now, really.

Where did your friend go?

Home.

He’s allergic to cats.

Tsk-tsk.

Poor him.

Oh, Moshe, I’m so glad to see

you!

Thanks.

I’ll put his new collar on as

soon as I get home.

Not just any collar, though.

A blue one to go with his eyes.

That’s the colour I bought!

Oh, wow, hello there!

You’re a cat person too,

aren’t you?

Absolutely!

I have two others at home, Mrs.,

uh--

Call me Miranda.

So how many cats do you have?

If you don’t mind my asking.

Twenty-two, all of them

strays.

This one’s Annette, and that’s

Tab, and Marlon, and, oh, oh,

there’s Troy - the big one.

I named them all after icons

from the nineteen-sixties.

It must be expensive feeding

so many.

I received as small

inheritance from my Aunt Ruth.

Fell into the Grand Canyon on a

bus tour.

Don’t ask.

Oh, I’m sorry.

Hi, beautiful, where have you

been?

I don’t have favourites, of

course, because it causes

jealousy.

But Gidget, here, she’s a

charmer.

Aw, Gidget’s having kittens,

isn’t she?

Any day now.

You should see the father.

A real cutie.

He’s around here somewhere.

Miranda, um, it’s so great

you took in all these strays,

but you’ve spayed and neutered

them, haven’t you?

Are you kidding, I can barely

pay for their food!

How could I afford that?

Oh, you wouldn’t have to.

A lot of vet clinics have free

spay and neuter days.

My vet for instance, Georgina.

Really?

I never heard of such a thing.

I could find out when the

next one is.

Hmm, I don’t know, Sharon.

I’d have to take my babies

outside.

And it’s not very nice out

there, you know.

But if everyone spayed and

neutered their animals, it’d be

a better place.

A lot less strays going to

shelters and being put to sleep.

Ouch, my ulcer!

Don’t even say that!

Can I at least ask Georgina

to come and visit you?

She could explain all about the

free clinic and check on Gidget.

I’d come with her.

All right.

But no one else, Sharon.

I don’t want all sorts of

strangers coming here.

I don’t trust them.

I promise.

She’s really kind of sweet,

Maria.

Not nearly as strange as her

furniture.

Whew, that’s a relief.

She gave Moshe back?

Yeah, he’s fine.

She really doesn’t trust people,

though, that’s for sure.

So she really is a bit

strange, having all those cats.

The strange lady has cats?

SHARON: I really want to help

her.

How many cats?

Are they okay?

Do you want to talk to her?

No, I’m re-stringing my bass.

I just want to know about the

kitties.

Tell Brock they’re fine.

I have to go, Maria.

(Thumping and whirring)

Adam?

Sharon?

Mom?

Hang on, Mom, I’m trying.

You better hurry, Mom.

Can someone explain what’s

happening?

Automatic door closer, so no

one accidentally lets the cats

out.

That’s really nice, but no

one can get into the house,

either.

But what if I--

I think we’ll manage fine

without it.

Fine, okay, let me rethink

this.

Is he okay?

I think he’s just feeling a

bit anxious about Moshe getting

out.

Oh.

Uh, Mom, do you think I could

have an advance on my allowance?

What for?

Well, I have this friend and

she’s feeding a whole bunch of

cats - twenty-two, actually.

I really want to help out.

That’s very sweet of you,

Sharon, but I’d have to advance

your allowance for a year to

feed that man cats.

I think you’d better come up

with another way.

So what’s the plan, Spitz?

I’m going to ask the manager

if he’ll donate some cat food.

Looks like he’s occupied.

Wow, check out the

merchandise!

What do you think?

Are they me or what?

Take those off before someone

sees you!

(Laughing)

Aw, look at this calendar!

Isn’t it adorable.

Aw, look at him, he’s a

cutie!

Look at the ears on that one!

Snuggy-snuggy!

You think these dangling toys

break?

Oh no, my cats have had one

for years and it hasn’t broken

yet.

Really?

I just got a new kitten.

Lucky guy.

Cats are the coolest.

The manager’s free.

You better go grab him.

They’re adjustable, see?

Fits any size head.

Thing is, I get a lot of

these requests.

Oh, well is there any way you

could give her a discount?

Like a really good one?

She’ll buy in bulk.

Okay, how about a one time

donation: big case of food.

I’ll even throw in a case of

kitty litter.

That’s amazing!

Thank you so much.

Just write down the address

and I’ll have it delivered.

One kitty calendar to go.

He’s making a donation you

guys.

A whole case of cat food, and

litter.

All right!

Will one case feed twenty-two

cats?

Whew.

(Alarm blaring)

What happened!?

Did a cat get out?

No, Mom just opened the

window!

Good, it works!

Alarm system.

I’m putting one in the living

room, too.

Adam, no!

There are lots of ways to keep

cats safe, honey, without

turning the house into a

fortress.

Okay, if you say so.

Hello?

Oh, hey Georgina.

Thanks for calling me back so

soon.

I need to ask you something.

Your timing is perfect,

Sharon.

My free spaying and neutering

clinic is coming up soon.

Great.

Now we just have to convince

Miranda.

Well, it sounds like you’re

making progress with her.

Go away, leave me alone!

It’s me Miranda, Sharon.

I’m here with Georgina.

I can’t talk now.

My stomach’s in knots.

Why?

What happened?

Don’t ask.

A man came here from Animal

Control.

He heard at the animal supply

store that I have more cats than

the city allows, so he’s going

to come back and take them away!

The pet supply store!?

No, wait, it must have been the

cat toy guy!

So, it’s your fault!

I should never have trusted you!

Never have let my guard down!

How could I have let this

happen, Georgina?

I’ve ruined everything!

Miranda!

Miranda!

I’m going to fix this, I

promise!

You’ve done enough.

Just leave me alone!

Don’t blame yourself.

But those cats are all she

has.

I know, Sharon, but

twenty-two animals in one house

isn’t safe.

Georgina’s right, this is so

not your fault!

It’s out of your hands now,

Sharon.

You did all you could.

Um, I’ve got b-ball practice.

I’ll catch you later.

Hang in there, okay?

You know what burns me?

That animal control guy.

He talked about his kitten’s

ears, he even pointed them out

in the calendar.

Was that dude undercover?

I don’t know.

He just seemed so nice.

My kitten’s name is Ralph.

What about it?

Well, if someone came and

took Ralph away from you, how

would you feel?

Think about his big tufty

ears.

Look, I know where you’re

going with this, but too many

cats in one house is unsanitary.

It’s not healthy, for them or

their owner.

But Miranda takes really good

care of them.

Her house isn’t dirty at all!

Doesn’t matter.

The law is the law.

Six cats per household.

There must be something you

can do.

Well, have you thought about

trying to get the cats adopted?

Twenty-two of them in one

day?

That’s impossible.

I’m sorry but that’s all that

I can suggest.

Good luck.

We’ll put these up

everywhere - the cafeteria, the

gym, oh, and the teacher’s

lounge too.

Let’s move, people.

Got a lot of papering to do.



Check it out, free kitties to a

good home.

You like cats, dude?

Check it out.

Adorable kitties, free to a good

home.

Hey, you want a cat?

Call Sharon Spitz - the number’s

right there at the bottom.

Well that’s it, I’m papered

out.

This just has to work, guys.

(Alarm)

Morning guys.

Aw, no messages.

Not one person called?

No.

Aw, after all our work

putting up those notices?

I promised Miranda I’d fix

this for her.

How am I going to tell her it’s

hopeless?

We still have the rest of the

day, Spitz.

We may get lucky.

You really think so?

Sure.

Okay.

I hope the shelter lets them

keep their toys.

I am so sorry, Miranda.

Well, at least you tried.

And the adoption thing?

You have to make sure you get

the right people.

Ones that understand that

likes to sleep on people’s

shoulders, and Marlon’s scared

of soda pop.

Soda pop?

The bubbles.

Don’t ask.

No one knows my cats like I do.

Those notices are up all

over town.

I’m still not giving up.

Come now, Sharon, no one

cares!

The world’s a terrible place

like I told you.

Better get used to it.

(Knocking at door)

There he is, come to take my

babies!

Get away from here.

You’re not coming in, yet!

It’s me, Brock!

Brock?

I’ll be back in a sec.

I can take two cats.

See?

I brought my baby basket.

My mom got it out of the attic.

I’ll take one too, please.

As you know, I’m allergic,

but Alison would like one as

well.

You guys!

Wait, there’s more!

They’re all here to adopt

cats, Sharon!

Really?

We kind of put the word out.

Brock can be pretty

persuasive.

What’s going on out here?

(Meowing)

(Crying): Annette and Frankie

like to sit in the bathtub

together.

Who knows why?

You run the water just a little

for them.

Cold water.

You’ll remember?

No problemo.

You’re going to come home with

the Brockmeister?

Yeah, you’re going to love it at

my place.

(Meowing)

All right!

Oh, Sharon, are you sure

they’ll be okay?

So many strange people.

They’ll be fine, Miranda.

I can personally vouch for

everyone here.

They’re my friends.

My mom’s knitting you a hat,

buddy, just like mine!

This, I gotta see.

Hey, what’s going on here?

Big adoption party.

Thanks for the suggestion, dude.

This better be for real,

ladies.

All I have left here is

Gidget, and I’ll wrestle you to

the ground for her.

Well, you’re allowed six,

remember?

When those kittens are born,

I’ll be back to do a whisker

count.

Hrumph.

Nice job.

And everyone promised to have

them spayed or neutered.

Sharon, I don’t know how to

thank you.

Going to be strange, though.

To think of my babies all out

there in the world.

It’s not as bad "out there"

as you think.

Of course it is.

But after seeing all these nice

people, who knows?

Maybe it’s time the cats took

their chances?

Maybe it’s time you did, too.

Sharon, I didn’t think you

were working today.

I’m not.

I was just in the area and I

thought I’d drop by.

(Barking)

Take it easy, Sammy, your

mom’s come to get you.

I can smell her perfume.

Here you go, Anita.

Nice leash.

Sammy had worms.

Don’t ask.

I have to go check on my

surgery.

So, how’s the part-time job?

Better than I thought.

And how are Gidget’s kittens?

I have pictures.

Want to see?

Sure!

There’s Justin, and Avril.

That’s Lance.

And, oh, look - that’s Brittany!

She’s a charmer, just like her

mom.

Aw, cute names.

I got them from those

magazines you gave me.

The kittens are beautiful.

Yes, I’m keeping all four of

them.

Miranda!

Don’t worry, I--

Gidget’s awake, Miranda, and

she’s fine.

Thank goodness.

You see, Sharon - I have to keep

them all.

It’s Gidget’s last litter.

I just got her spayed.

(Bells ringing)

So, what you think?

Huh?

About the bells?

This way I’ll always know where

the cats are.

I can’t think with all this

noise!

Adam, take those bells off right

now!

Okay, what about video

surveillance?

BOTH: What?

Set up a camera by their food

bowls, and their litter boxes--

All right, Adam, inside.

I think it’s time for a little

chat.

A cat condo, Mom, with

security!

I’ll build it in the basement!

(Laughing): Don’t ask.

(Cat purring)