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07x24 - Oldies and Goodies

Episode transcripts for the TV show, "Totally Spies!". Aired: 3 November 2001 – 3 October 2013.*
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The series focuses on the adventures of three teenage girls from Beverly Hills, California – Clover, Sam, and Alex – who live a double life as secret agents working for the World Organization of Human Protection (WOOHP).

07x24 - Oldies and Goodies

Post by bunniefuu »

♪ Their mission - save the world

♪ Fight any crime and evil ambition

♪ BFFs in action

♪ Fun agents
With gadgets and passion

♪ One, two, three, girls

♪ Hurry up, you're gonna win

♪ Totally Spies. ♪

It's time.

Let's go.

It's a massive mache mash-up!

Sounds amazing.

WHISPERS: What are we talking about?

Glitterstar's art installation.

In the park! Remember?

It expresses everything
I have to say about life.

Plus it's super sparkly!

Hey, get outta my way.
Hey!

Come on, move it. Step aside!

Where is she?

Relax, I know tapioca ba*ls
don't work for everyone.

SHE GASPS
Hey!

Those aren't customers,
they're criminals.

Ha-ha-ha!

PANICKED SHOUTING

Huh? Whoa!

Oh, no!

Huh, ugh!

Cyberchac. He must've sent
these gravity g*ons to get us.

Whoa!
Whoa!

I don't care who sent them,

nobody levitates my bubble tea
and gets away with it.

Ha!
Ha!

Huh? Agh!

GROANING
Whoa!

Is that another one
of your cheerleading routines

that's also surprisingly
effective at stopping crime?

Uh... yeah.

Yah! Go, bling!

Enough.

ALL: Who's that?

Uh, hello? What look is that?

Get the target.

That's the only thing that matters!

We're one target
no-one's ever gonna get.

I'm sorry. Who are you?

ALL: Huh?

She's over there.

Your target is... Glitterstar?

After her!

There's only one way outta here.
Activate emergency WOOHP slide.

What's a...? Whoa!

HE GROWLS

Agh!

Oh. Ugh.

What... WHEN are we?

Also, why are there so many Ws?

OK, this might be
a little tricky to explain.

We sorta work here.
Work here? As what?

Er, um... We're secret agents!

BOTH: Alex!
Secret agents?!

It's Glitterstar.
I can't lie to her.

AUTOMATED VOICE: 'Intruder alert.
Intruder alert.

'Intruder alert.
Intruder alert.'

Stand down. Not to worry,
we'll sort this out in a jiff.

Incidentally,
huge fan of your bubbles.

Sorry you got tangled up
in this mess, Glitterstar.

His name is The Curator,

and he's one of the world's
most infamous thieves.

But what's he trying to steal
from Glitterstar,

bubble tea loyalty cards?

It's not clear.

But The Curator never stops
until he gets his mark.

Your mission, spies, will be
to ambush him when he strikes again.

I... I'm sorry.
Did you just say, "strikes again?"

Oh, it's cool,
we do this all the time.

Wanna see our gadgets?

Toby?!
Oh. Hi, Glitterstar.

Am I, like, the only person in
the world who isn't a secret agent?

Yeah. You're... unique!

So, I wasn't expecting you today,

but I do have some experimental
gadgets you may find handy.

This is the high-speed
hang-gliding ukulele.

Here we have gravity-ignoring clogs,

and finally,
the ultra-powered candy dispenser.

Oh-ooh!

Oh. Right... Um...

I'm pretty sure I'm dreaming,
but you guys carry on.

I'm just gonna lie down here
till my alarm goes off.

I know this is confusing,
but trust me,

by the time this mission's over,
you'll think nothing of it.

It's so post-modern.
I think that's just a fire hydrant.

Still, really makes you think.

So, G, I have to say... I didn't
think your art would be so, um...

soul-crushingly disheartening.
Yeah.

It's just I've recently concluded
that my life is totally meaningless.

So that might have
something to do with it.

What are you talking about?

You three save the world
on a weekly basis!

Compared to you,
I'm just a... a bubble barista.

But you're, like, super talented!
Not to mention a fashion icon!

We totally look up to you!

You're just saying that.

Actually, it's pretty literal.

Whoa!

The Curator. He's back!
They're in that azalea bush.

Well, then, I guess
it's time for an am-bush.

Urgh,
I gotta work on my catchphrases.

Whoa!

Oh, it's a big one.
I'll take that.

Oh!

How about you take this instead?

Hyah!

Oh, no, cubism! Ouch!

Is this a normal day for you?

Whoa! Oof!

Thanks, guys.

Catch a falling Glitterstar!

Hyah! Ha!

What do you want with our friend?

Isn't it obvious? The bubble pearl!

Sheesh! Pick a mood already.

Seriously?
You did all this for tapioca ba*ls?

It's not a tapioca ball.

The bubble pearl

is the single most valuable piece
of jewellery on earth.

And your friend here
knows where it is.

No, she doesn't!
Hmm...

Glitterstar, do you know something?

Well, I don't know that I know.

But I might know?

I don't know!

Uh... Do you remember Mrs Li?

The singer who owned
the whole bubble chain?

We hung out all the time.

She loved my playlists.

A few weeks ago, I got a letter.

Mrs Li was retiring,
but wanted to leave me something

that's been in her family
for generations.

The bubble pearl.

It wasn't a pearl!

It was just this weird list.

I thought it was a recipe.

It's no recipe, it's a map -

a map to an ornament so valuable,
it could overthrow governments.

And you're going to bring it to me!

Uh, hello?
We just ambushed you, remember?

Are you sure about that?

HELICOPTER OVERHEAD

ALL: Whoa!

Oh, no!

Dronies!

Whoa!

Ah!

Get me the pearl, or
you'll never see your friends again!

EVIL LAUGH

ALL: Agh!

Ugh.

Welcome to prison!

Hey! Get us out of here right now!

THEY GASP

On second thought, I guess
we could stay for a little while.

Is that
a genuine Stephane von Berry?

It's magnificent!

Why, thank you!

It's so nice to have a prisoner
who's into art.

Um, can we stop
complimenting the criminal?

Oh, my gosh! Is that door
made out of diamonds?

Not cool.

I only surround myself
with the finest things.

And now, so are you!

So... there's gotta be something
to get us out of here.

Way ahead of you, Sammy.

What?
It's in case we need a disguise.

Duh!

SHE GASPS

Oh, you got the bags! Toss them in,
and I'll take you to the cafe.

I'm not going to the cafe.

I'm going to save my friends.

What? But... you can't do that,
you're not qualified.

It's my fault they got caught.

I'm gonna find that pearl and
set them free, qualified or not.

Wait! G, I'm sorry, I...

I know what it's like to have
people assume you can't do things,

but finding the bubble pearl
all by yourself,

it's ludicrous.
I happen to like ludicrous.

Agh!
THUD

Having said that, if you wanted
to help... Dot dot dot.

Any way I can talk you out of this?

Well, it would be nice
to get out for once.

ALL: Aagh!

Oh!

Ugh, that door is rock hard.
Wait a minute.

That's right. Rock hard!

There's only one thing
that cuts through diamonds.

BOTH: Other diamonds!

Aw!

DIAMONDS SCREECHING
Oh!

The curator
is so gonna pay for this.

Uh, you do know
it's not yours, right?

Ye-ah, but we just ruined
a to-die-for necklace

because of him!

Whoa!
Woo-hoo!

Do you have to fly like that?

Sorry, they don't usually
let me drive these things.

It would help
if I knew where we were going.

I'm working on that.

Why would Mrs Li leave me something
I couldn't figure out?

SHE SIGHS
I have to think.

LOUD MUSIC
Sorry! It's Clover's playlist.

Playlist?

Playlist! That's it!

That's what this list is.
It's a playlist list from the cafe!

Um... so what does it mean?

Song number one,
second verse, third line. It's...

I don't remember.

Wait, I'll sing it.

SHE HUMS

♪ Shining on

♪ The Amazon. ♪

The Amazon.
That's where the pearl is!

Afterburners on!

Aaah!

We're nearly there.

Sam?!
BOTH: Argh!

CLANG
Argh!

Ugh. We should've known The Curator
would leave us here with a guard!

Oh, yeah? Well, I'm about
to punch this guard's card!

Ha! Huh?

What's wrong?

Yeah, that wasn't
that bad a catchphrase.

It's not the phrase.

Whoa! It's this...

I think he's made from solid gold!

Can't we hack him or something?

Not without our gear.

Hold on.

Oh.
I think The Curator programmed him

so that he never harms
his stolen goods,

which means...
We can use the bling as shields!

This is the greatest plan ever.

Yes! It's working. He's backing off.

Yes!

Curator,
prepare to meet your terminator.

What do you think? Good phrase?

Chills.
Total chills.

Yay!

♪ It's so wonderful
Down by the waterfall. ♪

There! That's where we need to land.

I don't think we can.
The foliage is too thick.

HE GASPS
Unless...

Oh, no. No way. Not happening.

Whoa!
STRUMMING

LAUGHING: All right, whoo!

Ow! Ow! Ugh!

Could this day get any worse?

BIRDS CAWING

Of course it can.
Thank you, universe!

Agh! Whoa!

Whoa! Whoa!

Ugh.

They're gonna rip it apart.
Wait. I packed lunch.

Weird time to think of food.
Not for them it isn't.

Kaya toast, away!

It's working!

Uh-oh, jam jam.

Agh! Ow!

Ugh. You know what?

This spying thing?
Not as cool as I thought.

BOTH: Whoa!

Uh. Got... cha?

Over here!

I've had my eye on your friend
for quite a while.

Soon, she and that agent
will deliver the bubble pearl

right to my designer clutch bags.

Glitterstar?
Toby?

And now, I'm afraid this will have
to be our final arrivederci!

ALARM SOUNDS

COMPUTER:
'Self-destruct sequence initiated.'

ALL GROAN

Ugh!

This falling-in-a-heap thing,
it kinda hurts, right?

♪ So wonderful
Down by the waterfall. ♪

BONES CRACKING
Ugh.

I don't think swimming
is going to help me feel better.

No, look!
The bubble pearl's over there -

behind the gushing waterfall,
over that piranha-infested lake.

Ugh. Of course.

You wouldn't happen to have a gizmo
for these situations?

Hmm.
There's the gravity-ignoring clogs.

But they won't work on water.

Hmm. Bubbles?

Bubbles!
Haven't you ever made bubble tea?

Pour some tapioca starch
into rushing water,

and...

BUBBLING

Voila!

That's brilliant!

And delicious.

Like I always say -

there's no problem that you
can't solve with some bubble tea.

Come on, Toby. Let's go!

It looks like
a very big tapioca ball.

Look, Toby, the pearl!

Whoa.

Indeed. Now, give it HERE!

Not until you let my friends go.

I don't think you understand
the gravity of your situation.

BOTH: Oh.
Hand over the goods,

or we'll plop you
into that fishy frenzy down there.

What are you going to do, fight?

Look at you. You're sidekicks.
Don't be ludicrous!

Mm.
We happen to like ludicrous.

Get them!

Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!

Ah! Oh! Oh!

Ow!

How are you so good at this?

Ha. You've clearly never worked
a bubble tea shop during rush hour.

Ugh!

You're up!

Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!

Time to burst your bubble, barista.

ALEX: Her name is Glitterstar!

And she's totally awesome.

Yay!

You were supposed to blow up!

Life's full of disappointments.

Also, you really shouldn't write
your password on a sticky note.

Grr!

I'm afraid your plan
is about to fall through.

Ciao, ciao!

Huh?

BOTH: Agh!

ALL: Dronies!

Ha! Ugh!

Agh!

Agh!

So that's how those things work.

You know, it's actually a myth
that piranhas are dangerous.

They mainly eat fruit.

BOTH: Yeah, Sam. We know already!

ALL: Agh!

Ha! Ha!
Ha! Hyah!

HE GASPS

At last! Mine, mine, mine!

Whoa!

You really shouldn't
leave this thing lying around.

Told you she was awesome.
Now it's arrivederci to you.

Agh!

Yeah! You're gonna see the gravity
of this situation in jail.

Agh!

Ah, it's mine!

I'm going to give you to charity.

Yeah, it's too big to wear anyway.

That leaves us
with one last lace to tie up.

For WOOHP to operate,
it must remain secret.

Normally, I'd use this
to wipe your memory,

but judging by your performance,
I am considering another option.

How would YOU like to join WOOHP?

Yeah!
Woo-hoo!

For real?

Whoo!
BOTH: Totally!

You would make an amazing agent.

Thanks for asking.

But... well... I'll pass.

All that stress and the landing
in heaps and the mwah-ha-ha-ing,

it messes with my chi.

Also, I don't think I could handle
wearing just one colour.

I guess I kinda miss my old life.

ZERLINA:
We all do sometimes.

It was a pleasure working with you,
Glitterspy.

You made it!
Duh! As if we'd miss your unveiling.

OK, here we go. In three...

Remember, you have to pretend

this isn't the most
dispiriting thing you've ever seen.

...one!

ALL GASP

I just got this image in my head.
I don't know where it came from.

They kind of look like you,
don't they?

Well? Do you like it?

Aw!

HE SNIFFLES

I'll take that as a yes.

You guys OK?

ALL: Totally!
We love you, Glitterspy!

Uh, Glitterstar!
ALL LAUGH