02x04 - The Monkey Is in the Rocket

[bunniefuu]

I'm tired of being sent...

and dinner at 7:30.
We're stagnant.

I'm leaving, but without you.

Besides, I don't even know...
if I'm coming back.

What came over you,
Merlaux?

I've come to k*ll you, Colonel.

You betrayed my father, you wanted to eliminate me.
You are a collaborator.

Go ahead.

Say, "I'm a
collaborator, I'm a scoundrel.

I am the shame of France."

Go ahead.

I'm your father, André.

What does resurrection mean?
that you're telling us about...

You're alive!

Two superpowers,
two blocks, two ideologies,

two monsters lurking,

two motivated opponents
by a fierce hatred.

They're chasing one plan.

If you destroy, if you exterminate,
annihilate each other,

no compassion, no remorse,
so that there's none left,

so that there's no one left.

This is our world,

a new world,

the Cold w*r world.

I'm not done yet.

I think we have
right to a booster.

To your resurrection, my son.

I have something to ask you.

-It's important.
-I'm listening.

Is it possible that Maurice Mercaillon
be my father?

What's it like?

Your mother,
his father and Mercaillon were

very close in the Resistance.

And your parents broke up
any contact with Mercaillon

in the last years of the w*r.

Why is that?

-His parents were communists.
-Communists?

That's how they got
they met again in 1936.

They were in the same section.

It was the popular front, the hope
of an entire people that everything would change.

They pursued this ideal
in the Resistance.

They believed in the revolution.

Mercaillon was bourgeois.
He hated the communists.

Then why were they close?

Because in the hard part
of the struggle against the occupier,

all the forces were united.

And because,

above all,

Mercaillon was
in love with his mother.

Your mother is the only one who can
tell you the truth about it,

because when
Vulcan net has fallen,

she was captured by the Gestapo.

No one else has seen her.

What attracted my
parents to communism?

Two Germans,
East and West,

four marbles: east,
west, north and south.

Two Vietnam, North and South.
Two Koreas, North and South.

Two Chinas.

Taiwan and China.

And Hong Kong.

Three Chinas.

Two Mexicans,
North and South.

We've got enough work already
with the countries that exist.

I also thought that there was no
South Mexico.

Not yet, please.

In this world of
hidden confrontations,

everything must be considered
under the prism of the Cold w*r.

The smallest question, the smallest sentence

can be potentially encoded.

For example,

you know what it means

"Yvette loves big carrots"?

Moulinier?

Do you know what it means
"Yvette loves big carrots"?

I'd say Yvette
...she's a beautiful naughty girl.

You just missed it
vital information

about a weapons parachute
in times of hot w*r.

What's gonna happen if they do...
the same mistake in Cold w*r times?

Thank you, Mr. Calot.

I'm not done yet.

Time's up.
Ladies and gentlemen,

the programme of forthcoming conferences
"passions and hobbies."

In April, Marie-Jo will speak
about Breton galette.

In May, Pochon will talk about
railway modelling. In June...

Excuse me, Mr. Schmid,
but if it's possible,

instead of Breton galette,

I'd like to talk
about parrot photography.

It's 1961.
I think that's more modern.

The program was
stamped on week 48

from the previous year.
If everyone decides to change

the passions and hobbies in the
week five, it's not gonna work.

The Breton galette
is also modern.

In June, Moulinier will speak of the íbex.

Colonel's residence
and Mrs. Mercaillon's, good morning.

Is she back yet?

Not yet, sir.

If she comes back,
I'd like to leave a message.

A message from you?

No, it's okay. It's okay. It's okay.

FRIA w*r

What are you doing, Calot?

Are you moving out?

I'll return the files from my
conference that made you laugh.

Don't get me wrong, it was friendly.

Admit that your commies
have a funny side.

Yvette and the big carrots.

You'll laugh less when an atomic b*mb...
to destroy Europe.

Every day in the
we approach disaster.

If we relax our vigilance,
it'll only take a second...

Okay, don't insist.

It's not because your
region is in fashion

which is more dangerous
than the others.

Calot, what are you gonna do?

Return the files and go to Berlin...
for a four-party meeting.

And you, Moulinier,
what are you gonna do?

I have a lot of things to do.

Let's change.
We never do anything new.

We let go.
We stagnate.

It's the routine. Moulinier, go to Berlin
in Calot's place.

That's not possible.
It is a complex region.

That's an order.

And what am I supposed to do?

Take a vacation. It'll do you good.
You look tired.

Not at all. I sleep well,
several times a night.

-And I never take a vacation.
-Fairly. Take it now. That will change.

What am I gonna do on vacation?

You'll make them all the same:
wear shorts, slippers,

send postcards.

Give everything to Moulinier

and get some rest.

For the others, you'll have a c*ck.

But Colonel, it's 9:25.

We've never had a c*ck before.
before 11:00.

It's the change.

You'll give me a summary on Berlin.
It will be a good exercise.

Right away, Moulinier.

Will you turn to the c*ck, Mr. Calot?

No, I'm on vacation.

Your conference was very interesting.

Thank you. Thank you.

Are you interested in pictures of parrots...
a long time ago?

I think it's beautiful, but probably
wouldn't arouse interest.

Maybe.

I have to go.

Wait a minute. Wait a minute.

Have you ever taken a vacation?

Yeah, a few days.

And what did you do?

Well, it depends.

Rest or I'll visit my mother.

And if I didn't have a mother anymore,
what would you do?

I don't know.

I traveled with my sister once.

I'm sorry, but I have to go.

Have a nice vacation.

THE CAPITAL

Two regular pajamas,
two suitcases.

Why two?

You're a times two zones.
East Berlin and West Berlin.

-Four city maps.
-Why four?

Four sectors: French, British,
Soviet, American.

-There are four of them.
-Of course.

Signature.

Okay. Okay, okay, okay, okay.

Good mission.

Here's the summary.

I asked for a summary,
not an encyclopedia.

When you go a little deeper,

it must be recognized that Calot
is not wrong. It is a complex region.

He said you'll have trouble
in finding the way.

You don't have to exaggerate.

I'd like to warn you
...that in writing the summary..,

I intercepted this telegram from Berlin.

I don't know which region,
but I should put it in the file,

because it sounded weird to me.

Go ahead:
"The monkey's in the rocket."

Should we ask Calot?

No more Calot.

I don't need it to
read a telegram.

I was joking.
And he went on vacation

and it's for us that it's a vacation.

I'm kidding.

BERLIN

Gentlemen,

our nations have triumphed together
about the n*zi danger.

Great Britain cries out
by the noble spirit of this alliance

and the responsibility of each one

to reach an agreement

on matters
who gather us here

in a spirit of unity and peace.

France will assume its
responsibilities, as always.

For starters,

Great Britain contests
the advice requiring payment

of the sum of 4,356 pounds sterling

for the commissioning of the network
of Berlin's sewage pipes.

While the Soviets

holds 354 thousandths
of total net length,

i.e. a percentage 1.5 times higher
to that of Great Britain,

Great Britain wants to reduce
his share to 54.

We don't use the four-party network...
of sewers.

-What network do you use?
-It's none of your business.

If they've done the work,
where are the permits?

It's not an ordinary part,

then we don't need permission.

Sure, of course.

If you need jobs
of structure, yes.

As you do in your country...

The slightest question,
the smallest sentence

it could possibly be
coded.

You'll laugh less when one
atomic b*mb destroy Europe.

We are facing a catastrophe...
every day.

Because of milliseconds.

If you want to save money,
let's start by cutting

public lighting
after eight o'clock at night.

That's useless.

In your house, there's nothing to
on the street, but in ours,

citizens are free
to live at night, too.

Gentlemen,
for the sake of appeasement,

Great Britain may consider

limit your quota reduction
at 58 instead of 54,

which would decrease the contribution
of its proportions.

Under these conditions, we can

to put the resolution to the vote?

Who's for it?

Who's against it?

What is France's position
about this resolution?

France...

abstains.

Next resolution.

FRIENDLY REMEMBRANCE OF THE CAPITAL
CALOT

And approval of the resolution...

Yvette loves big carrots.

About the color of the tiles
in the shared area.

Great Britain thanks you.

Excuse me, gentlemen.

France would like to address
a final point

that's not on the agenda.

-That's impossible.
-It's just an issue to resolve.

Ask for your question to be registered

on the agenda
of the next extraordinary assembly.

If there is one.

It's a question...

why France is restless,
gentlemen.

France, this ancient country,

this great nation whose
diplomatic tradition is established,

that you've always sought
to reconcile the tribes...

The people.

France,

thanks to the quality of his intelligence,
intercepted a message.

A message that clearly indicates
that one of the countries on this table

intends to send
a nuclear b*mb over the others.

What's that? What's that?

-Who?
-Who is not the subject, gentlemen.

We're not here to
tell us who started it

...or determine a guilty party.

We know there are tensions,

everyone has their share
of responsibility,

and France wants to calm the situation down,
as usual.

Really,
what's the point of dropping bombs

if we're not there
to find out who won?

Then let's stop fighting,
guard g*ns

and try to get through the Cold w*r
for the Hot w*r.

No?

You assume responsibility
by another world conflict

that you lost.

That charge is inadmissible.

We said no.
we would accuse anyone.

If we're provoked,
let's answer it.

Gentlemen?

So are we.

The USSR has allies on its continent.

She'll protect us
no matter what the cost.

What did you say?

If we ask, we're sure

that our Cuban friends
will be ready to welcome

all necessary means
in defense of the communist world.

Are you considering arming Cuba?

You just gave me that idea.

Gentlemen, don't get excited.

I inform you of the restlessness of France
for purposes of appeasement.

Besides..,
I know a little about Cuba.

Gentlemen, I think this assembly
is closed.

-Of course.
-Pledges?

Gentlemen, come back.

Your name is in three letters.

They were enough
to get them into the story.

In this January 31, 1961,

Ham opens the way for the stars
to American astronauts.

At the age of three, this chimp..,
originating in Cameroon,

embarked on board
of the Mercury flight,

survived a space trip.

What's the matter with you?

We've seen it all.

-No?
-Then "the monkey is in the rocket"

I just wanted to say
that there was a monkey in a rocket.

Shall we have lunch?

Did you know that the Americans were going to send
an African monkey into space?

-Of course.
-They're good.

Why do they send animals into space?

You need to explain the interest to me.
What's next?

A tapir? A platypus?

The Soviets will
to send men into space,

not the Vincennes Zoo.

They need to hurry,

because with the number of people
coming west,

then there will be no one else
to put on a rocket.

There are people who run away from democracy.

Oh, good. Lunch?

What's with the missiles?
that the Soviets threaten

install in Cuba
and why are they blaming us?

What did you do in Berlin, Moulinier?

Didn't you say it all worked out?

You lied? It didn't work out?

You know what this kind of meeting is like.

They last for hours.
We make agreements, we vote, we dispute.

There are minor disagreements,
but nothing serious.

I received twelve telexes from twelve countries...

who fear the collapse
of diplomatic relations

between Soviets and Americans

because of a
major crisis in Berlin.

It must be a misunderstanding.
I'll see what I can do.

-Do we have to send Jacquard now?
-That's none of my business.

Everyone can take care of my region
and make a mess.

That's enough, all three of you!

If that continues,
I'll send everyone east!

They take offense at nothing
in your region.

If all this time you've spent caring
of Africa as he took care of Berlin,

wait to see the mess
that you have sown in your region

explode in your face.
And very strong and for a long time!

That habit of always seeing the worst.

Shall we have lunch?

Where are you going?

I won't bother you anymore.
with my mess. I'm leaving.

Don't be ridiculous.
Where will you stay?

I know where to go.
Don't worry about me.

Wait quietly
Mercaillon's retirement.

Don't take any chances.
Keep stamping for France.

With a little luck
you will receive a bonus.

-What does that mean?
-Goodbye, Moise.

What are you gonna do?

What I thought I could do
by your side. Fight.

Don't commit madness
to approach Mercaillon.

I'm not afraid of him.

What have you done with him?
He's been acting strange.

Mercaillon, you b*stard.

-Bye, Moise.
-Don't do anything crazy!

-You've regained reason.
-I came back to get my clothes.

Do you really think you can live alone?

Yeah, I do.

Where are you going to live?

With what money will you pay the rent?

Can't even open it
a bank account.

-I'm going to prost*tute myself.
-At your age.

I'm 41.
I've been married to you for 20.

I raised your two children
who don't need me anymore.

It's been a while
I think about having a life.

My two children?

Our daughter and her son.

You want to talk about him?

The blond hair?
Wagner's appreciation?

You have no right.

Stay, Irene, you belong here.

No.

I'm bored here.
I'm bored to death.

I don't want to spend the rest of my life
in this sinister apartment

between Marthe and her slippers

employee
from the Ministry of Veterans.

I need some air,

of adventure, of surprise.

I'm leaving everything.
It's just a few memories.

Everything you have you owe to me,

including the clothes.

Do you want to keep it?

As a souvenir.

I never liked them.

It's old-fashioned,

just like everything else here.

All of it.

That's my sheet. It was Mom's.

Are you gonna go out like that?
Are you crazy?

Goodbye, Maurice.

I'm head of service
French secret.

I talk to the general every day.

I'm a dangerous man, Irene.

If you knew
how many people have I k*lled

and I have them k*lled every day.

Maurice.

What is it, now?

Colonel Maurice Mercaillon?

That's me.

You're a solid man, sir,
...and brave and upright.

For those qualities,
was chosen by General De Gaulle

to conduct the negotiations
in the strictest confidence with the NFL.

You're going to Algeria.

TOP SECRET DEFENCE

Here's the answer to your request.

-Mr. Moulinier?
-After all, no?

I'm making my module
of intercepting messages.

I heard something.
I'd like to talk to you first.

Go on.

Immediate Disembarkation
in the Bay of Pigs.

Don't waste your time on it.

Does that mean that the pigs
...they're gonna take a shower.

Good night, Guy.

That's what I thought, but I was in doubt.

Good evening, Mr. Moulinier.