Dead Lover (2025)

[bunniefuu]

Floro aromatica.

Straight from the jungle.

Hello, Mr Moon.

You might be asking yourself, what is this

lady doing?

Well, I'll tell you.

I'm a grave digger.

And basically that means I don't smell

very good.

So, Mr Moon, listen up.

I don't want to be like one of those

people who dies all alone.

I'd rather die than die that way.

But no one will come near me because I

stink.

Digging in the dirt with the dead in all.

So I've decided to try to

make a perfume so that I could

mask the smell of death on

me and try to attract a mate.

Or need a lover.

If I had a lover, I would never let him

go.

No, never ever, never ever ever.

There.

Now we'll see who smells like corpses.

I'm going to try this

perfume and I'll see if it's

going to work and see if it's

going to make him love me.

No one's coming.

You can barrier her.

I've been in a lot of burrows like this

lately.

Terrible, weedy, but I'm alone.

Speaking of... Get your

distance, grave digger.

Would you like to go on a date with me

tonight?

I'm sorry, ma'am, but I have pre-existent

plans.

We could go to the pub and fill back a gin

or two.

We don't even have to go to the pub.

But you just put into me a cabin for a

quick ride.

Ma'am!

My cabin is literally in the yard,

as you know.

And I have gin.

Ma'am!

I cannot and I will not join you in your

den of depravity.

May the Lord have mercy upon you as I

have.

Well, you can go ahead and piss it.

I don't care about you anyway,

you dumb prick.

I'll slice your neck with this shovel.

And I don't stink that bad, do I?

Peasy.

Okay.

We are gathered here today to commemorate

the life of...

This lady.

She was...

tall, brown hair, a strong jawline.

She had feelings and parents.

Yeah, she had to have had parents.

And, well, I'm sure that

there are many, many

people who wish they

could have been here today.

It's just me for now.

And in honour of

her life, I would like to

take a moment of silence

to commemorate her.

You are loved.

Rest in peace.

Mr. Moon, do you ever

just feel like you're a

pale white dot surrounded

by this black naffiness?

I didn't want to say, but between us

girls, the grave digger was out in the

yard this morning digging a new

grave, and my lord... burns the nose.

Gunk of a girl.

Dump of a girl.

I suppose the graves for the dead opera

singer.

She was so young.

So talented.

So married to the widower.

My wife.

Many knew her as the powerful stage

presence she was.

But behind the curtain, she was gentle.

And

more caring than you could believe.

Any word on how she died?

I shouldn't say.

She choked to death on a fishbowl.

At a fancy restaurant after one of her

b*tch shows.

In honor of her, I want to play a

recording of her most famous song.

She thought love could conquer death,

my dear.

But I was wrong.

There was foam everywhere.

Fussions and screaming.

Children crying.

Imagine when it does to a child to see

such a thing.

Now!

My brother will say a few words to

commemorate this sudden and tragic loss.

In the many years that I spent

gallivanting around town, hawking my

poetry, fraternizing with the gargoyles of

the art world, there were times that I

spoiled myself so

thoroughly that I wasn't

sure that I could feel

anything at all anymore.

And it was my sister.

My little sister.

Always.

Who reminded me that

there are some things

in life worth more than

just carnal pleasure.

But what matters is the pursuit of

something deeper.

The pursuit of love.

And without her, I don't know how I'm

going to...

I don't know how I'm going to...

I really don't know who's...

God!

What have you taken, my sister?

My sister!

Save me!

Sorry for your loss.

But it's not safe in these woods.

Believe me, I know them well.

Full of wolves.

Anyway, you better let me escort you home,

then.

Here, let me pull you up.

Oh.

Oh, no.

It's quite novel.

Oh.

You were going to offer me your hand.

My hand?

Yes.

You want to touch my hand?

I could have really used a hand today.

Oh.

Okay.

Oh.

Do you live here?

Yeah, in the yard.

Yeah, just in the yard.

You have family here?

Yeah, they're in the yard.

They live with you?

No, they're in the yard.

Oh.

Yeah.

I see.

So you live alone?

Just for the time being.

It's a choice, really.

I'm batting them off me.

You know, waiting for the right one is

worthy.

May I ask you something?

Don't see why not.

If we were to get you wet, would it strip

you of your marvellous...

aura?

No.

Nothing will get rid of it.

What do you ask?

I could use a dip in the ocean to strip me

of some of today's tears.

And by the look of your face, I thought it

might please you as well.

Oh.

Well, I could go for a wash.

But, as a lady, I will be keeping my

skivvies on.

Oh.

But of course,

I want to lick your stink to taste your

foulness.

I want to lather myself

in your fluids and

smell that most morbid

and ingratiating air.

I want to shower in your rot to feast on

your fetid bunk.

Look

up a piece of your poo.

And eat it like a banana.

I want you forever.

Forever.

And ever.

Forever.

Forever.

Forever.

Craigslinger.

Forever.

Hello,

Mr. Moon.

I guess you're wondering what this man is

doing in my cottage.

Well, all of an update for you.

He likes the way I smell.

So much so that we, you know, consummate

it.

Hey, how is he putting on clothes?

What?

What?

I'm going to die low.

I'm going to die low.

Well, I never wanted you to stick around

anyway.

I've had roms 12 times as good as that.

Fancy pants.

By the way, I'm the one who decides when

you go.

And that's right now.

So, you can go ahead and state.

What is it about you that entrances me so?

I was just putting on your pajama,

darling.

It's drafty.

Where I'm from, there's a fire in every

chamber.

A scarf around every neck.

Cleave from the skin of some poor tiger on

the Kenyan plains.

A luxury will not keep the heart warm.

My sister taught me that.

Grave, tiger.

My entire life, I have

been trying to capture the

wildness I feel in my

heart by the tip of my quill.

And now, I meet you.

I feel a q*eer relief that heaven has

already composed my masterpiece.

And one of your poems?

You are everything that my heart has ever

dreamed to say.

You are not a metaphor for beauty.

You are beauty.

You are beauty.

May.

Yeah.

So, yeah, I do come from a long line of

quavediggas.

And I started for some unknown reason by

my great-great-great-grandmother.

And it was actually her

that coined the phrase

it's been my family's

model for hundreds of years.

One that I still turn to in any difficult

moment.

I must now.

What is it?

Dig deep.

Dig hard.

Never stop.

Dig in.

It's poetic.

Yeah.

Will you wear this for me?

And let me love you forever?

Yes.

Now, your finger matches the ring.

Remember, I always used to say that the

reason why you put the ring on this finger

of your one and only

true lover is because the

veins rot ear run all

the way up to your heart.

Tell me, what do you want most in this

life?

I will work all of my days to give it to

you.

I see all these funerals here.

And what I want more than anything is to

die very old in the arms of my lover.

He dies at the same moment because that's

how much he loves me.

He can't live without me.

And then we're buried in the same grave so

we'll never be apart, never ever.

And then we get one of them big funerals

where we're mourned by tons of people,

especially our many

children and their many

children and their

many children's children.

I will try.

My love, I left when you were sleeping.

You looked so beautiful.

It nearly k*lled me.

For the past many weeks of love,

I have kept a secret locked away,

fearful it would spoil your feelings for

me.

I hand quivers now as I confess.

I cannot have children.

But my love, now there is hope.

I've just been accepted in a medical

experiment that takes place across the ocean.

The doctors say they may be able to

reverse the death inside of me.

I have taken the morning's first vessel

with dreams in my heart.

I couldn't bear to tell you, so I had to

leave without saying goodbye.

Please forgive me.

I cannot plant a seed in you.

For all I have are empty shells.

When I return, my satchel fall.

May we make love to wedding bows.

Wait a minute.

Tenth to these roses.

A symbol of our growing love.

X, X, X.

Shacking up with the grave digger is one

thing, but now he's off gallivanting on

one of his sex-pervert vacations in

Europe.

Apparently, he's getting fertility

treatments.

Oh, he's getting fertility treatments all

right.

And the nurses are all wearing leather.

Well, Mr. Moon, die 177 and still no word

from me, lover.

Every day, I think of offing me,

self.

In the various methods I could use to do

the offing, noose, mace, oven,

go into a leprechaun knee.

But there's the smallest part

of me that can't get me great,

great, great granny's famous

family model out of my head.

Maybe love is about digging

deep and digging a lot,

even when your shovel

hits into a rock or something.

Postcard months at

sea, I've reached the

doctor, who will give

my loins a second start.

By now, I hope you've got those roses

blooming as you've made my heart.

Wait for me.

What the hell was I thinking, Mr. Moon?

He and my lover left me a brush of roses to

care for, and I left him to get all saggy.

I'd best be studying up on me botany,

and I'm making plans to develop a

fertilizer that's gonna help supercharge

the rosebrush.

Postcard.

The doctors make my testes ache.

Shock them, burn them, turn them blue.

These pains are nothing to the one that

longs to come inside of you.

End again, end again, end again.

I love when he writes to me.

Distance really does make the heart grow

fonder.

I hope he's impressed by how big the bush

is when he gets back into me arms,

back into me arms.

Postcard.

When foolish snobs declare you stink,

as though that weren't your best feature,

recall my words that special night about

my favorite fetid creature.

You are not a metaphor for beauty.

You are beauty.

Postcard.

Experimental miracles have worked and got

my seed refreshed.

I'm coming home to you, my love,

to thrust in your heart-sticky flesh.

Damn to wash.

Half-noona.

What a raindrop.

What a raindrop.

I just found a young old nurse.

What?

What?

Just found a young old nurse.

She's an English teacher with 10 of girls.

What a...

What a young dog.

Oh, yeah.

What a...

Sure, it's a song.

All right, get the sick.

Get the sick!

Come home to me, lover.

Come home to me, lover.

Come home to me, lover.

Come home to me, lover.

Wait in the same place, and let me be your

friend, oh, lover.

Hey, I miss you.

I come to say be a sad day for you,

cause your lover, him grown a seed.

You found a finger in the bag,

though.

What?

What?

A finger?

A finger in the bag.

It's a song, man.

It grows.

What?

You might know, we keep track of all the

shipping log.

We got a finger there.

That's why I went in the bag.

That's what daddy's working.

What?

Oh, a finger there.

It's in the bag.

In the bag?

What?

What do you mean in the bag?

He's in the bag?

In the bag?

In the... in the... in the bag?

He's in the bag?

In the bag?

Lost.

Lost.

Lost.

Lost.

Gone.

Sir, we've brought you some breakfast

provisions.

I have no appetite.

You haven't eaten in a fortnight,

sir.

We've just brought you little things.

A tea and some starches and sweets.

Bring me the poppy.

We're getting worried about you,

sir.

Don't make me ask again.

Sir?

Dammit, man!

I

could conquer death, my dear.

But I was wrong.

In the bag?

In the bag?

In the bag?

In the bag?

I don't want to be like one of those

people who dies all alone.

I'd rather die than die that way.

Will you wear this for me?

And let me love you forever?

If I love her, I will never let her go.

Never ever, never ever, ever.

Never stop, dear.

No!

I love you so much.

And I will never stop.

Flowers.

Fertiliser?

From seed to flower is in my power.

Not to be hotty, but why not a body?

Every seed has its fertilizer.

I just need to figure out yours.

And I will, my darling.

I love you.

Huh.

Tail can move with body sliced.

Wiggle with its body's life.

The lizard, I think, holds the fixer.

But this might be my perfect fixer.

A net.

On a rod.

On a what?

On a rod.

She was trying to catch a husband.

She's gonna need a bigger net.

Lizards.

What?

She was catching lizards by the dozen.

Or maybe she's starting a pet store.

She was very excited, practically thumbing

at the mouth.

Foam everywhere.

Well, if she can't beg a man, why not try

a lizard?

Unholy.

I'm righteous.

I'm surprising.

Lizards!

Lizards!

Well, hello there, Mr. Moon.

Can you believe I almost gave up on me

lover?

Just because he is currently only a

finger.

Fat chance.

Now, how do I get this thing to work?

Sushi method.

Unsuccessful.

Meat grinder method.

Unsuccessful.

Cheese grater method.

Unsuccessful.

Twisted till it hurts, method.

Unsuccessful, but we're getting closer.

So, ring method.

Successful.

This will work, me love.

I can feel it.

Tonight's the night.

I can't wait for you to come home.

Oh, my gosh.

You're gonna wrap your arms around my

body.

And say you love me.

And say you need me.

And then we come like babies.

And then we can...

Get it together, man.

We have work to do.

If this lizard looks so works, it will

make your body run out of your fingers.

And it will, my darling.

I love you.

You can do it.

It's time.

Grow.

Come on.

Yes, me love.

You can do it.

Come on, we've put in so much work.

Okay.

You can do it, me love.

It's time.

Come on.

Come on.

Put

it on your body!

Bebe Knuckles.

Don't worry, my love.

I will find a way.

Just a few more tweaks to go.

Hmm?

What?

Yes?

What is it, love?

Uh, I'm sorry, darling.

I don't really understand what you're

trying to say.

Didn't your mother never tell you to point

at nobody?

Why don't you go on and shove it up your

nub?

I'm sorry I told you to shove it up your

nub.

That wasn't very nice of me.

It's just been a long day.

I didn't mean anything by it.

Are you seriously still pointing at me?

I call a truce and you keep pointing at

me?

Don't you think I'm stupid?

Quit it!

You're pestering me!

Oh, God, I miss you.

Even fighting with you is heavenly.

I want it all with you, baby.

Bickering in the kitchen.

Late night fights.

I really freaking wish you would stop

pointing at me and just be happy for me.

I've gone through all this work for us and

it's not enough for you.

I'm going to bed to put on me jammies.

I hope you find your way to bed,

okay?

Stop.

Boy... Stop!

You've been a very bad finger and bad

little fingers must be punished.

Oh...

Body.

Body.

Body.

Oh, a body!

Of course!

What did you think of that?

Shall it be a man to match his sturdy

chest?

Should it be a lady?

But then you've got the breasts.

Or should it be an order, Gent,

for organs more mature?

Oh, sh*t!

I only wish it could be me.

Oh, to be buried in a blanket of dirt.

By George, I've got it.

Would it be mad to take up your dead

sister and use her body for your return?

I can see some will think you're perverse.

But the truth is she's gone, but you.

You still have life in you.

I'll know it.

I'll seen it.

And I think your sister would want to let

you live, right?

You always say she was about love and

everything.

And besides, any reasonable sister would

allow me to use her corpse.

Oh, yes.

Naturally.

Forgive me.

Welcome to the workshop.

On behalf of your brother, we're a lot to

thank you again for your generous donation.

Um, you're looking a little chilly,

so I'm just gonna go ahead and cover you

up with this little sheet here.

And you really do resemble your brother,

especially your... fingers.

The reason why you put the ring on this

finger of your one name that you love,

is because the veins rot here,

run all the way up to your heart.

The lizard can regrow its tail.

So, if I reverse the current, the tail

will regrow the lizard too, to speak.

Let's give it a go!

Okay, Milo!

Kiss you and make

yours grow for me, baby!

Grief, Tigger.

Oh, Mr. Mooner got me a lover back into a

body.

But I do think the trauma of him dying

might have bruised up his personality a bit.

He doesn't quite seem like himself.

Nothing a bit of rehab won't fix.

Oh, good morning, darling.

You look beautiful.

Just finishing a thought here.

I'll be right with you.

Make yourself cozy.

Do

you want a milkshake?

Good.

Yes, that's strawberry.

Yeah, your favorite.

Good job, lover.

Oh, that was good, bud.

Dummies, that's really yummy.

Okay, well, I'll have enough.

I'll have enough now, love.

That's for you and not for me,

it's for you.

But it's not for me, that's for you.

I made that one for you.

Good evening, young sir.

Yes?

We come bearing news.

Terrible news.

The brain digger was seen digging up your

dead wife.

We're just dying to know what happened.

She dragged the Bonnie to her workshop.

No, no, no, darling.

There's all sorts of delicate stuff in

here.

What's with you?

Treat me like a stranger.

Oh, that's it, darling.

You look lovely.

You're so lovely, Smell.

Oh, no, that's our lizard.

It took me days to get cooked.

Oh, no, not for Lizzie's.

Little do that.

Stop.

What's all wrong about me?

Why you got so fixated on me, Lizzie?

Is he before me?

All I've wished is long painful hours.

Is it really you?

My heart?

Stop!

What have you done to my wife?

She's my lover!

Devil!

I'm the devil, my lady!

How dare you violate her!

Poverty!

Poverty!

Did you hear that?

We were just simply...

There's the law of the shaft of Satan!

Lava!

That's your ear.

And your long finger!

Nuns, clowns, we love.

Did you k*ll a nun?

p*ssy.

Lava!

Lava!

It's me, the love of your life.

Remember!

He's got away again.

Can you imagine getting

brought back from the dead

by your beloved, only

to piss off into the wood?

I would make someone do that for.

What if he's leaving because he wants a

different kind of lady?

But he said he would love me forever.

I don't think I could handle it if he

didn't love me anymore.

I really don't think I could handle it.

It is full-time for you this way.

Ever since I had him, his love has been

like a fish out of water.

Wiggling in my hands trying to break free.

Oh, the bash is heading to stop the

wiggling, right?

But in all seriousness,

Mr. Moon, when I do

find him, he is going

to need to be restrained.

Gently, of course.

But firmly, also,

exceptionally firmly, just

until he starts acting

like himself again.

And when I do find him, I will never let

him go.

Never, ever, ever!

I

cannot tell you too well.

There must be water in my nears.

I can feel it swishing around in there

like my brain is going for a swim.

I am medically blind without my glasses,

so I cannot see your eyes up.

But whoever you are, you must come in for

a swim.

The water is marvelous!

Lover!

Lover!

Pulls tight up there.

Did he steal a horse?

Monster before me.

It's only me.

You have taken my love's peace.

He's not your love, he's my love.

Grave, dicker.

You gave up on your love, I didn't.

Love, love can't conquer death.

My love has already conquered death.

When you really love someone, you don't

let him go.

Not even death can steal him.

And if it does, you can

dig in and dig in and dig in

and dig in and dig in and

dig in until you get him back.

He sounds chilly.

Don't worry, your body will turn on the

heaters.

I think there's a stick in Zivata.

It has just hit me in the c*ck.

Let me make this stick out of his way.

Huh?

Vata, delightful surprise you are.

Go on and k*ll me.

All made up from a stimuli lover.

And I'll never break it.

Never ever.

You leave me no choice.

It gives me no pleasure to speak of his...

What are you on about?

There were no fertility treatments.

He has 12 b*stards by different women.

I don't know who these women is,

but what we had is real.

Swim.

Yeah, we are swimming.

Don't make me tell you more.

Liar.

There was a line you repeated at parties.

Dread every newly flowered cousin or

niece.

You are not a metaphor for beauty.

Beauty.

You are beauty.

You are beauty.

You are beauty.

Beauty.

Beauty.

Beauty.

Beauty.

Beauty.

I was lying.

I never loved you.

I'm so glad I'm dead, so I don't have to

smell you anymore.

Rest in puke, Gravedigger.

Believe me, Gravedigger, we both wish you

were dead.

And once you reverse

that demonic spell you've

cast on her body, I

may grant that wish.

Who?

Just out for a walk.

Lovely day.

Just... a ride.

Good?

Lovely.

Good.

Peace be with you.

Hallelujah.

Now that

you are dead, there's something I should

say.

I'm part his finger.

Part her body.

Part the lizard.

New and naughty.

And I want you to join me.

Father, news of necrophilia, Father.

It's the Gravedigger.

She's been indecent.

With the corpses.

Oh, God, how many of those are creatures?

Piss off.

Eat.

Eat.

The bloody hair, Graved.

Go on, then.

How brave b*stard.

Go on, do me in.

I used to be a brave b*stard myself.

I've never run from a fight.

Never once in my life have I ever stood

down.

I would have... I would have

k*lled a thousand men for her.

I would have died a thousand deaths for

her.

And then once more, I would have rolled in

the mud.

I would have...

I would have...

No!

It feels like...

It feels like...

It feels like... The days are

long and the sky is black.

Yes.

Me bruised in bloody art's been cracked.

Yes.

I'll miss you so much, I wish you was

dead.

Yes.

Dead in me art and dead in me head.

So take me shovel and dig me hole.

Yes.

And bury me body and bury me soul.

Yes.

Until I bring you back to life.

What?

I'll keep the pledge made as your wife.

To love you forever and ever and ever.

I suppose that's the difference between

you and me.

Death has knocked me to my knees.

And I haven't the courage to stand again.

God, children!

And a word from God!

Me notebook?

Huh?

He must have stole it from me workshop

when I knocked him out there earlier.

Postcards from me lover?

You were not a metaphor for beauty.

You are beauty.

That's how he knew what me lover said.

He read it in the postcard.

Widowel was lying.

Lying so I would do what he said.

You do love me.

You do.

You do.

Love deep.

Love hard.

Never stop loving.

You do love me.

Damn it, Pervert!

Mr Moon!

Oh, I can feel the judging eyes of my

grandmom.

My great-grandmom and all the way up to

the very first grade, Dennis.

And while I was wasting

time with the Widowel, I was

just knowing my lover's

returned home to me cottage.

Oh, Mr Moon.

Love is an education.

God, I can hear your message.

I feel it.

I feel it deeply within me.

We ought to k*ll that great guy because

what I'm hearing, I'm hearing your message.

k*ll, k*ll, k*ll, k*ll.

Don't be the grave digger.

She'd be a desecrage in

the community of digging

up the corpses, lying

in f*cking the corpses.

Perkz!

Perkz!

Perkz, Perkz, Perkz!

What's going on?

At some point, you're going to die.

k*ll her!

At some point, you're going to die.

Let's go!

Come on, join us, Britain!

We're going to k*ll the grave digger!

And miss the feeling that

we're going to hunt her down and

we're going to gather back

the fish to shake to God's word.

And she can fire it!

Oh, no.

A rock is in me workshop.

Break that door down!

Break that door down right now!

I can...

k*ll, k*ll, k*ll, k*ll!

Have we enough?

Oh, sh*t!

What?

Come on, get away!

Great digger!

You are a sinner of the most despicable

curse!

God will punish you for... I

was indecisive in that heaven!

k*ll her!

k*ll her!

Take her away from this!

Fire!

Fire!

Fire on the floor!

There's a piece coming through!

Fire, fire!

Fire on the floor!

How are you?

If you're hiding from me...

He's floating in the ocean.

Oh, thank God.

Soaking wet in Cupid's potion.

Oh, yes.

Yes.

I'll never forget our special swim.

Your voice?

It met me on the shore.

And instantly I needed more.

And you're rhyming again?

I love you.

Tell your final breath.

Doubly into death.

Oh, yes.

I will love you.

Through death I will love you.

Your body...

Cold and soft and blue...

Whispers sweetly what to do.

Blue?

My skin isn't exactly blue, darling.

I thought love could conquer death,

my dear.

But I was wrong.

Or maybe I was right.

For love!

So handsome.

So brave.

So available.

Not to fire of anything to do with it.

Rest in peace.

You are repulsive.

You're a liar.

You have a slimy piece of skin.

I wish you was dead, dead in the dirt

where you belong.

You think?

You, you don't deserve another minute of

this life that I've got to do.

You, I crackle.

Whip!

Grave digger!

I've roamed around and seen a few.

The only one I want is you.

I'll love you with my dying breath.

Without you, life is waking death.

God, he's really in there.

By sewing on a stolen part, I'll give our

love a second start.

I'll leave you two alone.

Good day.

I took the lively life from you and halted

every fidget.

Now I will make you just like me.

A corpse with a new digit.

You want those lips to pop?

Because you've got everything.

You've got everything.

Yeah, you'll smile.

I was a wizard.

Some imitation of yourself.

That's where I got the cheers.

And if you can't smile, I know you can

kiss.

Still, you've got everything.

You've got everything.

Yeah, you've got everything.

You've got everything.

But I'll just smile.

Smile.

Thank you for watching.