03x11 - The One Toxic Person in Every Improv 101 Class

[bunniefuu]

- [Sam] Tonight,
rehearsing for river dance,

it's Isabella Roland!

[Sam laughing]

- If I practice hard enough,

it'll turn into the right dance.

- [Sam] Having a
cartoonishly delayed reaction

to a burn, it's Brennan Lee Mulligan!

- Wow, oh my god.

Is this fresh lava?

Bah!

Yeah!

- [Sam] And in an elaborate
castle fencing scene,

it's Erika Ishii!

- Ha, ha!

Ha!

Back, knave!

Back beyond the keep!

Ha, ha!

- [Sam] They're all here to...

- [Together] Make some noise!

[bright music]

- Welcome to "Make Some Noise,"

the game so good we spun it off unchanged.

I am your host Sam Reich.

Here's how the show works.

I have here a series of
improvisational prompts

our players have never seen before.

Isn't that right, players?

- You showed me.

- I didn't!

- [Sam] I swear.

They will, to the best of their ability,

fulfill those prompts.

I will award them corresponding points

and the winner will go home
with a coveted Golden Ear.

- Oo.

- And I can call it that
because it's from France's

golden ear region.

- How do you say golden ear in French?

- [with a French accent] Gordon.

Gordon.
[Erika chuckling]

Gordon ear.
- Gordon, Gordon.

- Ear.

- Gordon.

- Players, are you ready to rumble?

- Yarm.

- Yarm.
- Yarm.

- And with three yarms, away we go.

Let's start with a
little warmup mini game.

This is something that we like to call,

Take Some Direction.

How it works is, players,

I am going to give you a line of dialogue

to read over and over and over again.

As you do, I'll give you direction.

Micro adjustments, if you will,
to affect your performances.

Does that make sense?

- Mm-hm.
- Mm-hm.

- You keep talking to me like that

and it's on.

[Sam laughing]

- Darling.

[Sam's laughing intensifies]

- Fight, fight, fight.

- This line is a little bit of a long one,

but perhaps you know it already.

"A wizard is never late, nor is he early.

He arrives precisely when he means to."

Take it away, no direction.

Whenever you're ready.

- A wizard is never late, Frodo Baggins.

Nor is he early.

He arrives precisely when he means to.

- Brennan, give me a little bit more.

- A wizard is never
late, Frodothee Baggins!

He arrives, nor is he early, by the way.

Second point.

He arrives precisely when he means to.

- It's technically more.

- Erika give me a little bit more.

- A wizard is never
late, Frodothin Baggins!

Nor is he early.

He arrives precisely when he means to!

- Izzy, voice cracking.

[irregular and squeaky]
- A wizard!

[Everyone laughing]

Is never late!

[Sam laughing]

Nor is he early.

[laughing continues]

[Izzy screeching unintelligibly]

- Brennan, with a pause
where you don't expect it.

- A...

[Sam and crew laughing]

...wizard is never late.

Nor is he early.

Frodrick Von Bagginstein.

He arrives precisely when he means to.

- Erika, calling the police while

the k*ller is in the house.

- [whispering] Hello?

I need you to send someone immediately.

I don't care if you're early,
that would be preferable.

Oh my god, oh my god.

He's got a knife. He's got a knife.

[Brennan screeching]

- All right, mother f*ck!

- You booked it, Erika.

- Thank you.

- Booked it.

Izzy, teaching an etiquette class.

[peacefully]
- A wizard...

[Brennan chortles]

Is never...

Late.

Vradup.

Bragup.

[Sam and Brennan chortling]

Nor is he early.

He arrives precisely when he means to.

- So proper.

- Brennan, today's Bible verse.

- Sometimes in life, we
think that our chance

is never gonna come.

We think that we missed our window, okay?

But the man I know about,
he's never late, okay?

Neither is he early, Frodo Lee Baggins.

He arrives exactly when
you make a donation

to our pledge drive.

- [Sam] That's right!

- Save these hobbits.

- Erika, in an anime.

- A wizard never arrives early, baka.

Nor does he arrive late.

He arrives exactly when he means to.

Ahh!

[Brennan imitating anime power-up noises]

- Izzy, as me.

- Buh...
[everyone laughing]

Blah...

Bleh!

- Got him.

- Got my a*s.

- You're always doing that.

- Brennan, the old man at a gas station

trying to warn teens about
their haunted Airbnb.

- You staying up at the
Baggins' place, huh?

[Sam chuckling]

Mah.

There's a giant who comes around.

Tall hat with a wide rim.

[Sam gasping]

He's never early.

He's never late.

[Sam chuckling]

He arrives...

Exactly when he means to.

Also, the housing situation here

has been really depreciated
by all the Airbnb's.

- And finally, Erika, a
gargoyle come to life.

- [Izzy] Help.

Help, help.
- [Sam] Oh Jesus.

[Erika chittering]

- Ah!

A wizard is never late, nor is he early.

He arrives precisely when he means to.

Ah!

[buzzer blaring]

- [Sam] Thank you,
Brennan for the support.

- Thanks, Brennan.

- And that is a mini game.

[upbeat beats]

That brings us to round one.

Izzy.

- Stop it.

[Sam laughing]

- Marilyn Monroe's even
more sexually explicit

"Happy Birthday."

[Brennan wheeze-laughing]

♪ Happy birthday ♪

♪ To you ♪

[Izzy giggling]

[Sam laughing]

♪ Happy birthday ♪

♪ To you ♪

♪ Boop, bee, doop ♪

♪ Whoop ♪

- Oh, and it's out.

[everyone laughing]

Now it's all out.

♪ Happy birthday ♪

♪ Boop, boop, bee, boop ♪
[laughing continues]

[demurely]
♪ I k*lled JFK♪

[everyone laughing]

[buzzer sounding]

- What an absolute acid trip nightmare.

- Sorry.
[Erika laughing]

- Find that on the Zapruder film.

- 45 points out of an
oversized birthday cake to you.

And that brings us to...

Brennan.

A sub DM.

- My feed will never recover.

[Sam giggling]

- As you enter the cavern,
you see an enormous dragon.

Fangs like spears.

Claws like swords.

The beating of its mighty
wings, a hurricane.

The dragon snarls looking
at you and goes...

[snarling]

[whiningly]
"What are you gonna do to me?"

[Sam and crew laughing]

"Oh, do you have bad spells ready?"

"Noo, just 'cause I
ate a couple of virgins

chained to the rock outside my cave?"

"Please, don't f*ck me up
with those big, greatswords."

"Mmm!"

[Sam laughing]

- What, dude?

That's what the dragon would say.

[Sam laughing harder]

[Brennan sighing]

All right, roll initiative.

Okay, give me an arcana check

to see if the dragon has a weakness.

Nat 20.

[fingers tapping]

You have to f*ck the dragon.

Okay, everyone!
[Sam and Erika laughing]

[buzzer blaring]

Is that what subs do?

- Yeah!
- [Brennan] Yeah.

- Yeah.
- [Sam] Absolutely.

- Yeah, for sure.

- [Sam] Yeah, 100%.

Yeah, we'll say a charisma
saving throw amount

of points for you, Brennan.

Erika!

- No.

- An NPC's five different reactions

to you entering their shop depending

on how leveled-up you are.

- Hey, what do you want?

[Sam laughing]

Welcome, traveler.

What can I get for you?

Hey, you look like you
could use some items!

Hey there, I'm sorry,

I don't have anything more to offer you.

[Brennan laughing]

- Oh, very true to life, Erika!

- Thank you!

- I like the initial world building.

At the end you're leveled-up.

- I love it when game design bleeds

into the diegetic canon of the world.

Like someone being like,

at my store we sell items.

And you're like, no
sh*t, what kind of items?

- All of the items.

- All stores sell items.

- 450 XP, which brings you
up to level seven, Erika.

- Ah!

- Izzy.

The one toxic person in
every improv 101 class.

[Erika laughing]

- Only one?

- Yeah, I've played Zip, Zap, Zop.

[Sam and crew laughing]

When my college improv group won

the National College Improv
Tournament in Chicago.

Basically, I'm gonna get
on a Harold team this year.

Without even completing 201.

I got contacted by Reign before
we even started the class.

So, yeah, I'm represented
by Laura SooHoo, okay?

- You've chosen exclusively specifics

that are true about you in real life.

[Sam and Erika laughing]

- That's because I am
the most toxic person

in an improv 101 class.

[Brennan and Sam laughing]

- Oh my god!

- Let's say $525 and eight weeks worth

of points for you, Izzy.

- Cool.

- Moving right along to Brennan.

- Mm-hm.

- A video game character keeps switching

between lore and the tutorial.

- The blade you now hold was
forged at the dawn of time

by the very first titans
of the four elements.

Shadow, blood, mind, and force.

Press X to equip this sword.

[Sam laughing]

Take some practice swings.

Good!

Good!

Excellent!

You've k*lled the provost.

The provost of this college is a member

of the Shadow Tricodai!

A clandestine group bent

on corrupting the world from within.

To corrupt the world, press Y.

[Sam and Erika laughing]

Good!

Good!

Ah, you've corrupted the world.

[buzzer blaring]

- [Sam] Oh, absolutely, Brennan!


environmental storytelling

to you, Brennan.

Which brings us back to Erika.

Last prompt of round one.

- Okay.

- Scrooge learns the true meaning

of Bisexual Awareness Week.

- Oh, no! No!

I will keep all the horniness
alive in my heart, I swear it!

I swear it!

You, boy, what day is it?

- It's Pride, b*tch!

[Sam laughing]

- I need you to go down
to the pleasure tents

and to get me the biggest
Flesh Light that they have.

Ah, ah!

I know that I must now dedicate myself,

every single day.

I live every single day as
if, I can't get enough fluids.

And I must buy chairs
that are specially meant

for people who sit like me.

I have to continuously come out to people

and remind them that we are not invisible!

We are, in fact, here!

And also q*eer.

Even if we are here with
partners of the opposite gender.

And what is gender, anyway?

Maybe that's something for
next Bisexual Awareness Week.

[Sam laughing]

I must go to Cratchit's house immediately

and make passes at both him and his wife.

[Sam laughing]
[buzzer blaring]

- [Sam] Yeah, Erika!

Trounced it!

- [Sam] Love it!
- Thank you.

- Three bisexual ghostly hauntings to you.

- It'd be like, I don't
know, Alan Cumming is Past.

Future has gotta be Janelle Monae.

- There you go.

- And then Present is uh...

- Natasha Lyonne?

- Natasha Lyonne.

- "Come, and know me better, man."

[Erika and crew laughing]

[upbeat beats]

- That brings us to our second mini game.

This is a mini game that we like to call,

If it Could Talk.

Your category is, children's
drawings of pirates.

- Oh!

- These will be actual drawings

from actual children in
Hailey's third grade class.

- Amazing!

- Whoa!

- Players, you buzz in and
show me what it sounds like

if they were to spring to life and speak.

- [Sam] Ready?

- Ready.

- First pirate.

- [Izzy] Ah! Oh my god.
[bell rings]

- Erika.

- Aye, you scallywags!

If you had fought like men,

you needn't have died like dogs!

Which is actually what
Anne Bonny supposedly said

to her husband as he went to the gallows.

- Is that right?

- Oh yeah.
[bell rings]

- Brennan.

- Elven pirates have sailed these waters

for time immemorial.

This plank that you now walk was grown

in the wood of the trees of the Valar.

In the age when gods
still walked this earth.

- Elven pirate, I like it a lot.

- She looks kind of elven.

[bell rings]
- Izzy.

- I am sashaying down this pirate's plank.

Looking at Ru and
Michelle right in the eyes

and they know I slayed this voyage.

I took all the treasure hunty.

And my p*ssy is on fire.

[Sam and crew laughing]

- A child drew that.

- They're not here!

- That point is gonna go to Izzy.

Next pirate.

- Okay, they're all on "Drag Race."

[bell rings]

- [laughing] Brennan.

- I believe that piracy can be something

that we give as an act of charity.

You know, we steal from
mostly merchant vessels

and we give to poverty
stricken, outlying colonies.

And that's what I like to do.

My name is Melissa.

[Sam and crew laughing]

Melissa the pirate.
[bell rings]

- Izzy.

♪ Burr ♪

♪ It's cold in here ♪

♪ There must be some
booty in the atmosphere ♪

♪ I said ♪

♪ Oh, ee, oh, ee, oh ♪

♪ Arr, arr, arr♪

- I'm gonna say this one
goes to Brennan for Melissa.

Next up!

- [Erika] Oo!

- Aw!
[bell rings]

- Brennan!

- What's up, playboy!

It's the Doritos fun max pirate challenge!

[Sam laughing]

[bell ring]
- Izzy.

[Izzy, Sam and Erika laughing]

- Hi, I'm Blackbeard.

Hi, Blackbeard.

- Hi, Blackbeard.

- I've been sober 16 years.

Haven't had any of the rum or the booty

since the day I hit my bikini bottom.

[everyone laughing]

- [Sam] No pressure, Erika.
[bell rings]

- He just looks sober.
- Oh, Erika.

[cutesy voice] - I'm Scoobs Cooper
and I wanna be your best friend!

Let's go pillage and plunder, me hearties!

- I mean, for the voice,
I gotta go with Erika.

- Yeah, but that guy's in NA.

[Brennan and Erika laughing]

- [Sam] Next pirate.

- Aw!
[bell rings]

- Brennan.

- [imitating French accent] Huh, huh, huh!

I am Piret the Pirate.

[Sam laughing]

As you can see from my purple hat.

My pear-

My pear-pull.

- Pear-pull.

- My pear-pull hat.
[Sam laughing]

[bell rings]
- Erika.

- Pirate.

Pirate, pirate.

[Sam and Brennan laughing]

Pirate.

- I'm getting a kick outta this.

[bell rings]
Izz.

- I'm a little baby.

[Sam and Brennan laughing]

- I think we are gonna say
Brennan too for this one.

But do save that in your
pocket, Izz, for this next one.

- [Izzy] Just saying I'm a little baby?

Ha!
- Oh my god!

Ah, so cute!

- So cute.
[bell rings]

Brennan.

[squeaky tiny voice] - We shall light
the fleet this Spanish galleon come down.

Their fleet laid low.

We will watch the blood drain
from the slits of their necks.

[Sam laughing]

[bell rings]
- Izz.

[raspy man voice]
- I'm a baby!

What, just 'cause I'm a baby I can't talk

like I'm an old, big guy?

[Sam laughing]
[bell rings]

- Erika.

[Erika squeaking and speaking gibberish]

Bah!

- He's Welsh.

[everyone laughing]

- Got 'em.

- I'm gonna say that one goes to Izzy.

- For the stinger, yeah.

- And last pirate.

[Erika gasping]

- Yeah, I know, this
one's handsome as f*ck.

[bell rings]
Brennan.

- I need help getting on the boat!

[Sam and crew laughing]

I promise, I will be an
effective pirate, okay.

And no, I can't swim great.

I have...

Where do you guys sleep?

A hammock? Bouy!

[Sam laughing]

- Yikes.
[Brennan laughing]

[bell rings]
Izz.

- I am dee fantasy of your mom.

[Sam and crew laughing]

I am a horse man your
mom wants to do it with.

I don't care that a kid drew this.

- [Sam] That's very good.
[bell rings]

Erika.

[whinnying]

[clomping fist]

- I am gonna say this goes to you, Izzy.

- Thank you.

- And that's a mini game.

[dramatic piano keys]

That brings us to round
two where our players

will now test their
talents in teams of twos.

Izzy.

Brennan.

- Yes.

- A mother-son wedding dance has

a little too much chemistry.

[Erika laughing]

- My little boy.

- Oh, Mom.

Hey.

Hey Mom.

- My boy!

- I love you so much and
this is such a special day.

And, okay...

Nope, nope.

No.
[Sam laughing]

Help, help.

- I gave birth to this tushy!

[Sam laughing]

I gave birth to this tushy.

- Mom, you are blasted.

[Sam and Erika laughing]

Absolutely blasted.

Aw, she's asleep.

Momma's asleep.

Momma is asleep.

[Sam laughing]

- Where's your friend?

- My wife?
[buzzer blaring]

[everyone laughing]

- Is that what you wanted?

- I loved it.

Thanks Izz, thanks for indulging me.



- Wow.

- Brennan.
- Yes.

- And Erika.

- Mm-hm.

- The Knights of the Beer Pong Table.

- Bros.

[Sam laughing]

We have assembled here to speak of matters

most important to the realm.

For those that must make their report

of quests achieved and quests failed.

I, thou king, says not it.

[Sam laughing]

Oh.

- Oh, bummer!

- Sir Betterbeir, you beefed it.

- Well, Sirs, I was like
goin' through yon kingdom

and I stumbled upon a babe most fair.

No, you gotta...

You gotta rinse it on the rinse cup, man.

- It's fine.

It's all water, whatever.

- So anyways, I slayed a dragon.

All right, drink, drink.

- Blah!

I dread poison, is that...

Oh no, this is just an IPA.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Sam laughing]

- Maiden most fair?

- Maiden most fair, uh.

- Sick.

- The saucy wench, suck it!

- Thou liege lord has
commanded you, Trevor.

Suck it. Suck your own d*ck.

- Yeah!

- I is the Jester of re-racks.

Re-racks!

- Re-rack!

- Re-racks!

- Re-rack!

- Everybody re-rack!

[buzzer blares]
[Sam laughing]

- I've only ever seen it played.

- Beer pong?

- I never played it.

- I feel like maybe you've played

some beer pong in your time.

Yeah!


garage for the both of you.

Which brings us to Erika.

- Oh.
- And Izzy.

Every job interview with
a nanny in a horror movie.

- Thank you so much for
watching my little boy.

Um, just so you know, he's...

Troubled.

- Oh, I've had a lot of
experience working with children--

- No.

He's the devil.

[Sam and crew laughing]

- I mean, has he been diagnosed with?

- He's Satan.

- Listen, I, you know, little Jeffery is--

- He's the red guy.

Horns.

Spiked tail.

Patent leather, red skin.

Four million years old.

[Sam laughing]

- So, 15 milligrams of Adderall then?

- Yes.

So if you wanna just walk him around.

Make sure, because I have a show.

[Sam and crew laughing]

I'm going to a show.

- Sure, uh...

- I'm going to "Funny Girl."

- Oh.

- So don't call me.

[Sam laughing]
[buzzer blares]

- I think that's a good a button as any.

- Thank you.

- [Sam] Don't call me at my "Funny Girl."

It's my one escape.

"Paranormal Activity 3" amount of points

for the both of you.

Izzy.

And Brennan.

- Yes.

- George R.R. Martin's publisher asks

for a "Winds of Winter" status report.

[Erika laughing]

- Uh, the thing people
don't know about Jon Snow

is that actually in
early drafts of the book,

when he and Ygritte were
up there in the North

they were screwing around in that cave.

- I don't care.

[Sam and crew laughing]

We've got a contract.

- I know you're looking
for the "Winds of Winter,"

but what about this?

This is 2,000 pages all about
Wildlings north of the Wall

finger-blasting each other in caves

and getting yeast infections.

What do you think about that?

Because up there, no
one washes their hands.

- Can we spin that to be different IP

as like a free form YA series?

- I didn't write it in a YA kind of tone.

They get really grabby.

- I know, but if you're
not gonna give me anything

then we have to make it so it's something.

- Okay, I know, again, you
want "Winds of Winter."

But check this out.

So the Targaryens, the
blood of Old Valyria,

I actually wrote about their
predecessors, all right.

It's a novella.



the hell out of each other.

[Sam laughing]

And! Some dragons.

- Cut it, print it.

- Really?

- Yup.

- Hell yeah! All right.

In terms of the main
book, "Winds of Winter,"

one of the issues I'm
having in just getting

the dang words out on the page is,

I already got famous and rich.

[Sam laughing]

I don't know, have you
ever tried to write?

It's the saddest, hardest,
worst thing in the world.

- That's why I just tell people to do it.

[buzzer blares]

- That was dead on.

- Let's say 25 points for the two of you.

Release date, TBA.

Brennan.
- Yes.

- And Erika.
- Oh.

- The prosecution and defense

in the case of Goldilocks V. Bears.

- Ladies and gentlemen of the jury.

The defense has raised
a lot of points around

the rights and nature of wild animals

and what can be said to be property.

And if human agency and autonomy
is necessary for ownership.

Excellent points on
whether a human being can,

in fact, steal from a wild animal.

Points that go right out the window

when we point out Papa
Bear's 30 year mortgage

on this house.

These bears bought this house
fair and square in 1994.

Now, do they make decisions
that humans would make?

Not necessarily.

Would a human family have

three enormous beds in one bedroom?

No, normally a father and mother

would sleep in the same bed

and the child would sleep
in a different room.

Would they make porridge for dinner?

Probably not.

These differences are cultural.

And they do not disqualify my clients

right

to not have their home trespassed in.

That is why we have attempted

to convince you to try
Miss Locks as an adult!

[Sam laughing]

- My client, this beautiful, young woman.

[whispering]

She was hungry.

She was cold.

Where were her parents?

Neglectful.

And she found a place, a shelter,

with porridge already in those bowls.

With beds already made.

From land owning bears?

Who were able to purchase this property

back in the day when a single family

with just a single income could afford

to buy a whole cottage.

Not so for my client.

And now the only place
that she can find comfort

and shelter and food is
in an unattended home.

- Squatters rights.

[Sam laughing]
[buzzer blaring]

- Wow, good rational,
reasoned, grounded arguments

from both of you, actually.

- It's like the judgment
at Nuremberg over here.

[everyone laughing]

- Seven points that are just right.

- Wow.

- [Sam] For the both of you.

That brings us to the
last prompt of round two.

Erika.

And Izzy.

Two witchy actual witches.

- We're going to Erewhon.

[Sam laughing]

- I found these crystals.

They will bring us the proper auras

with which we need to
stuff our reusable totes.

[witchy cackling]

- They are $300!

[Sam laughing]
[witchy cackling continues]

What chicanery and gobbledygook

is going on in the drum circles of Venice?

Those smelly rich kids.

- Well, I heard that Northwest
has some fantastic scoobies

for our kombucha brew.

[cackling]

- Wait.

- What?

- I have missed the hour
of my fillers appointment.

[Sam and crew laughing]

- Oh, Mercury must be in Gatorade!

- If I don't get my mandibles botoxed,

my TMJ will come back like a huge b*tch.

- Maybe you should get a
little bit of filler up here

just, you know, while they're in there.

- Just while they're in there!

[cackling intensifies]

[buzzer blaring]

- Before the two of you blow
out your voices, hell yeah.

- Damn.

- [Sam] That's exactly what I wanted.

Double, double points and trouble.

- Oo!

- [Sam] To the two of you.

- Does that double, double
their existing point total?

- Yeah, sorry, Brennan.

- f*ck!

[upbeat beats]

- That brings us to our
third and final mini game.

This is a mini game we like to call,

Who Are You Supposed to Be?

How it works is, players,

when I say go, you are going to race over

to this bureau of costume items,

put on whatever pleases you,
race back to your podium,

buzz-in and pitch me who
you're supposed to be.

Make sense?

- Hell yeah.

- In that case, on your mark, get set, go.

- [Erika] Eee, this was
my favorite thing to do

when I was little. Oh my god!

[Sam laughing]

I'm just going to do this.

[bell rings]
- Izzy.

- I'm a test dummy for Rogaine.

[Sam laughing]
[bell rings]

You're welcome.

- Brennan.

- Dog the Bounty Hunter.

[Sam cackling]

- That's really good, Brennan.

Oh damn, Erika.
[bell rings]

- I am here for your soul.

Woo!

- Oh!

- Constantine!

- f*cking awesome.

[bell rings]
Brennan.

- I'm Leafs Erickson.

[Erika laughing]

- The pun game is heavy
tonight and I love it.

[bell rings]

Izz, I sense a theme.

- I'm the Trolls World Tour.

But I shoved 'em all in my pants.

- Yeah, I like it, Izz.

I do wonder how you're gonna keep this up

throughout the whole game.

- I'm gonna.

[bell rings]
- Brennan.

- I'm "Sub" Zero from Mortal Kombat.

[Sam and Erika laughing]

- Brennan!
[bell rings]

Erika.

- I'm Melissa the Pirate.

- Oh sh*t!

- Only now I have bunny ears.

- [Sam] Yes!

[bell rings]
Izz.

- I'm a furry whose mom
just walked into their room

and I had to try and cover
up my furriness really fast.

- I like that you're maximizing creativity

and minimizing physical exertion.

[bell rings]
Brennan.

- I'm Tony Pagliacci.

[Erika and Sam laughing]

[bell rings]
- Izzy.

- I'm a lady from the '70s.

[Sam laughing]

They had a lot of pubic hair.

[bell rings]
- Brennan.

- Freaky Blinders.

[Sam laughing]

- [Sam] And that is a mini game.

Bravo, players.

That brings us to round three,

where our players will now hold hands

and jump into the abyss together.

Izzy.
- Boink.

- Brennan.
- Yes.

- Erika.
- Ha, ha!

- The Hobbit Research and
Development Committee presents,

even more meal ideas.

- Ah!

- Bracegirdles, Bolgers, Proudfeet.

What we and our committee
have to unveil here today

are a series of meals that we think

are going to revolutionize--

- Say the meals!

[Sam laughing]

Say the meals and say we get them now!

- Miss Took, yes, absolutely.

- More breakfasts!

- So as you are aware, we
have breakfast, elevensies,

second--

- Second breakfast!

- I would like to unveil to all of you...

- So hungry!

- A concept that may be unfamiliar to you,

but that human world has long known.

Please don't throw a rock at me.

[Sam and crew laughing]

Brunch.

- I'm listening...

- What's that?

- Brunch is breakfast with screwdrivers,

but instead of vodka it's champagne.

Alcohol--

- So a second breakfast.

- A second, second breakfast.

But by calling it brunch,

you're allowed to order
lunch items as well.

Not only do we have tea
time, supper, and dinner.

- Mm!

- But we also have...

- Drag shows!

[Sam and crew laughing]

- Oh, drag brunch, yes!
[buzzer blares]

- That was not what I expected

to come out of that character's mouth.

Let's say points and then second points.

- A little old guy with a pipe.

♪ Rah, kaka, tee, tee, tah, tah♪

- Which brings us to Izzy.

- Baby.

- Brennan.
- Yes.

- Erika.
- Ugh.

- One guard always lies

and the other guard wants
to talk about their music.

- Traveler.

You approach a gate in the Labyrinth.

But be warned.

Of these two guards,

I would say that we both
always tell the truth.

[Sam laughing]

- All right, well, then
where does this door lead to?

- My mix tape.

[Sam and crew laughing]

- Oh, no thank you.

I care not for this mixed tape.

- What did you say? I wasn't listening.

- Can we have one sec?

- I'm thinking about promoting my--

- Certainly, I do need
to reach the dragon.

- The Goblin King told us specifically,

you're not allowed to promote your EP

while we're guarding the doors.

- This is an LP.

- I think he probably meant both.

- No.

He knows this one's a bigger deal.

[Sam laughing]

- Maybe you can just give,
like, a flyer to your show

and then--

- I need to rescue a child.

Time is of the essence.

- How about you give
it a couple of streams?

- The LP is really good.
[Sam laughing]

- I'm sorry, you said that in a way

that leads me to believe that you weren't

being truthful when I thought

that you always told the truth.

- Uh...

[buzzer blaring]
[Sam laughing]

- [Sam] That's really great.


Cloud for the three of you.

- Dang it.

- [Erika] Oo!

- Which brings us to the
last prompt of our game.

Izzy, Brennan.

- Yes.

- Erika.

[Erika panting]

- We returned from Narnia,

but it turned one of us Republican.

- Ah!

- Oh my goodness.

- We're back at Professor Digory's.

- What an adventure its been.

- It's like no time has passed at all.

- My god, and there's the wardrobe.

We need to build a wall.

- What?

[Sam and crew laughing]

- There's a portal in
here that the animals,

the talking animals, and
everything can get in to England.

- I don't think that's how it works.

Also, you just spent decades ruling them

as their benevolent king.

- And now that I'm a little boy once more,

I've realized that they
probably want to come here

and take jobs away from
good British people.

- We're in the middle of w*r!

We're on sugar rations.

That's why you wanted all
of that Turkish delight.

What could they possibly take from us?

- I mean, it's like talking animals?

What's going to happen to British culture,

which everyone knows is a great culture.

[Sam and crew laughing]

- Mr. Tumnus, over there,
was one of the first people

that we met and he was
so welcoming and kind.

- Oh, Mr. Tumnus?

[Sam laughing]

He wears a scarf and no
shirt and he lives alone.

[buzzer blaring]

- Mr. Tumnus!

- Incredible.

- I'm so sorry, to all
the viewers at home,

I'm so sorry.

- Eight trickle down
points to the three of you.

[Erkia laughing]

That brings us to the end of our show.

Our winner tonight...

Brennan Lee Mulligan.

- Yay!

- Brennan, you are the recipient

of the coveted Golden Ear.

- [in a French accent] The Gordon Blom.

- Speech!

- For Geldedor!

- That does it for us
here at "Make Some Noise."

Tune in next time for
more of the game samer.

I'm Sam Reich and that
sounds pretty good to me.

Goodnight.

[light music]

[music fades]