04x10 - m*rder Is a Habit

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NATSUKI SUBARU WAS HERE

You...

What the hell are you?

What the hell's going on?! Damn it!

NATSUKI SUBARU WAS HERE
This wasn't here before!

This wound wasn't here before!

No way...

Did Natsuki Subaru switch places with me
while I was unconscious?

Natsuki Subaru k*lled Meili,

and left his signature on my arm?

Screw this!

I don't get it anymore!

If you're Natsuki Subaru, then I...

I... You...

Who are you?

The next time we meet,
you're off the list of suspects,

Meili.

Then again, the detective being the k*ller
is a textbook mystery cliché.

For now, I have to buy time somehow.

Ah, Subaru.

So this is where you were.

Sorry, did I startle you?

W-Well, yeah, you spooked me,
but I'm completely fine.

What's up, Emilia-chan?

I was just walking around the tower to see
if something would come to me.

Hey, Subaru.

Huh?

Were you teasing me just now?

Are you sure you're okay?

Maybe you're still tired?

I-I'm fine, really.

I was just lost in thought for a sec.

You really keep
a close eye on me, don't you?

Somehow, I find myself looking
at you a lot lately.

Strange, isn't it?

Right, about Meili,

I know it's still too early,

but if we make it back safely,
I want to give her a proper life.

Proper?

Of course, what she did
a year ago was bad,

and I know we shouldn't
just blindly trust her.

But she's one of the reasons
we were able to cross the Dunes.

Like a pardon or something?

At the very least, I'd like to get her
out of that underground cell

and let her live with everyone else.

What a load of crap.

Huh?

I said it's a load of crap!

Too soon? You're damn right it is!

How can you talk about the future
when we're still stuck here?!

Subaru, what's gotten into you
all of a sudden?

Even if you're in a bad mood,
you shouldn't talk that way.

If it hurts, talk to someone! Don't sulk!

If something's bothering you,
it can bother us together.

So please,
don't try to shoulder it alone.

Don't lock yourself away
and try to solve everything on your own.

Can you tell?

My heart isn't angry at all.

And I won't think any less of you.

That's why, please. Tell me.

Why?

Emilia, I...

Mm.

I...

Lady Emilia! Barusu!

Is something wrong, Ram?

Head to the library immediately.

You have arrived, I suppose.

You found something grave?

It definitely isn't good news.

If anything, it is an ill omen,
I suppose.

Quit beating around the bush.
What happened?

The second shelf from the top,
the book on the far right.

No!

Meili Portroute...

Beatrice, did you read it?

Not yet, I suppose.

Wait, why?

These books should be approached
with extreme caution.

Besides, if that book does indeed
belong to the Meili we know...

Then somewhere in the tower, Meili is...

We have to hurry and...

You must wait, I suppose.

If it truly is that girl's book,

it is already too late for us
to do anything.

Did someone call or somethin'? What's up?

Shaula, there you are!

Did you see Meili after breakfast,
I wonder?

Nah. Somethin' happen to Squirt #2?

The truth is, we found a book
with Meili's name on it.

I see, I see.

I guess she went
and kicked the bucket, then.

It happens.

Shaula! You didn't have
to put it like that!

Oh, don't be so mad, Master!

More importantly,
wouldn't it be faster to just read it?

Faster? What...

If you read the book,
you'll find out how #2 died.

Right, that does make sense.

Subaru...

If it truly is her book,
then you will experience her entire life.

I appreciate that you're both
worried about me,

but someone has to do it.

In that case,
it doesn't have to be you, I can...

Betty will have to object, I suppose.

If someone absolutely has to read it,
it should be either Subaru or Julius.

I'll do it.

For all we know,
this might all be just a misunderstanding.

You know the drill, where we get
all worked up over nothing.

If anything happens, I'll pull you away
from the book right away.

I'll even pull your hair, okay?

I'd rather you gently shake my shoulder
and call out my name or something.

Here goes.

By the time she was first
conscious of herself,

she had nothing.

There was no one around her.

In a dark, dark, black, black forest,

she was by herself.

She knew no words,
so she couldn't grieve.

She knew not how to walk,
so she couldn't fight back.

She should've died,

at the fangs of a beast,
never achieving anything.

But since she learned to live,
she didn't think to die.

She learned the ways of the wild
through pure survival.

Before long,

she became the queen of beasts.

I was told to bring you back.

So you're coming with me.

So you didn't know how to grieve,
fight back, or even live.

Pathetic excuses, one after another.

I couldn't care less.

Grieve, just for me.

Fight, just for me.

And live, just to love me.

Bitching that you lost everything?
Forgot everything? It's all gone?

Well, I'll just have
to discipline you, then.

That's a mother's job, after all.

Don't become her puppet.

Because for anyone other than me,
no number of lives would ever be enough.

Hate.

Here you go.

Thank you.

Hate.

Was this hate?

What even is hate?

Sorrow.

Sorrow.

Was this sorrow?

What even is sorrow?

For someone who just drifted through life,
simply mimicking those around her,

she couldn't understand genuine emotions.

Having lost Elsa,

who was she supposed to imitate?

What standard
was she supposed to live by?

If only the "mother,"
who disciplined her,

ordered her to die,
she'd die right this instant.

I don't want that.

At the very least,
I want to know the answer.

Oh, you're here too.

I'm looking for a book myself too.

Don't stay up too late, Meili!

He saw what I was doing.

He found out.

He knows.

I didn't want him to find me.

I didn't want him to know.

Wow, you're shallow.

Stop sucking up to me, it's disgusting.

Nobody wants that from you.

Stop feigning innocence, little doll.

Can't you hear what you really want
from that heart of yours?

What I really want...

Listen to your desires.

Do that, and you'll start seeing
who you actually are.

And you'll know exactly
what you want to do.

What I want to do...

What I really want, is...

Now that's a good face.

So full of flavor!

Once you know what you want
and start acting more like "yourself,"

I'll remember it all.

All your tedious worries,
all your pointless suffering.

About last night,

how seriously can I take what you said?

Not here. Let's take this someplace else.

Sorry, Meili.

Asking that directly is against the rules.

In the end, what did I accomplish?

Everything from the time
- But hey, this is a pretty

I was alone in the woods,
- interesting turn in its own right!

I've accomplished nothing.
- I call it, "Natsuki Subaru's m*rder Case"!

It didn't amount to anything.
- I call it, "Natsuki Subaru's m*rder Case"!

I'm being k*lled. I'm being k*lled.

I'm being k*lled. I'm being k*lled.

I'm being k*lled.

I'm being k*lled.

I-I'm being... I'm being...

Huh?

Deep breaths!

You must take deep breaths, I suppose!
- I'm… being, being, being…

Do not force yourself to speak!

Emilia!
You must not touch that book, I suppose.

You will end up mixing.

Mixing? What did this book do to him?!

I... I...

No, I'm being...

He may have dived too deep, I suppose.
- Elsa's gone…

Subaru, remember!

It's okay.

You're Natsuki Subaru!

My knight!

Let me ask you once more, Natsuki.

What did you see in there?

Meili's memories.

It really hurts, doesn't it?
Flailing around while being strangled.

You must calm down, Subaru.
Take a breath.

You must focus entirely
on finding yourself again, I suppose.

Sorry.

Not at all.

At a time like this, you should lean on
Betty all you want, I suppose.

Miss Ram, what are your thoughts on this?

If Barusu is to be believed,
then Meili is already...

Aren't those two
being too calm about this?

I guess they never trusted me
to begin with.

Subaru, calm down!

Barusu is neither skilled nor heartless
enough to lie in a state like this.

I could read it myself to verify.

I cannot agree with that.

Just look at the state
Natsuki is in right now.

Anyway, we can't just
sit here doing nothing.

We need to look for Meili!

What?

I know it might be too late already,

but we can't just leave her
all alone like that!

You didn't even care about me at all
before I died.

It seems we have no choice
but to change today's plan.

Let's split up and look for her.

Well, Subaru?

Did you see her final moments?

I-I...

I didn't see it until the end.

But something happened in the tower,

that much was clear.

Too bad.

So,

what will you do now?

Me?

Master.

Huh? Yeah?

Should I look for Squirt #2?

Or...

It's almost like she knows
about you and me.

Shaula, take care of Meili.

Roger.

If that's what you want, then fine by me.

I understand what to do.

Wh-What was that about?

There's no point in dwelling on it,
I suppose.

It would be best
not to touch that book anymore.

Why are you so nice to me?

Another strange question, I suppose.

No, it's just...

Natsuki Subaru is a despicable coward
who's trying to hide "my" death.

Why does everyone love him so much?

Why?

I want to know.

I want to know why.

Why, why, why, why?

Why, you ask? Want me to tell you?

Are Emilia and the others my friends?

Or are they enemies out to k*ll me?

Can I love them, or can I not?

Can I hate them, or can I not?

You'll find out if you read their books.

Subaru,

you really don't seem to be feeling well.

It may be best to stay
in the green room, I suppose.

Why is everyone so nice to me?

Give it a little squeeze,
and it'll snap like a twig.

If you slammed her on the floor,
she'd probably die just like that.

Will her book show up if I did that?

If I read it,
will I know why they're so nice?

Subaru?

What's this?

She saw it.

She found out.

You've been scratching your hands again.

That is a bad habit, I suppose.

That's no fun.

You're wrong.

No, I'm not.

You're wrong!

Subaru!

Ah, sorry. I'm okay.

Hey, Mister.

Did you know that m*rder becomes a habit?

I think a famous detective
said that somewhere.

Solve a problem with m*rder once,

and you'll rely on k*lling
to solve the next.

I don't know who that detective is,

but yes, that's exactly it.

And you see, habits don't just go away.

Huh? You didn't find her?

We did a full sweep
of all the rooms we could access.

We tried asking Reid too, just in case,

but he didn't see her.

O-Oh.

It's a shame how today turned out,
but tomorrow...

Sorry, but if you plan to continue
searching for her from tomorrow onward,

I must object.

Echidna?

We can't do that!

Who knows how Meili's feeling right now!

She doesn't have the ability
to feel emotions anymore.

We can't afford
to waste any more time on this.

That is a rather hasty judgment.

There's a limit to our food supply.

She may not be the real Lady Anastasia,
but there is some truth to what she says.

If you're gonna squabble,
do it somewhere far from me and Master.

We're gonna be busy buildin'
a happy family together.

First a girl, next a boy,
then a big strong boy!

Can you keep quiet for now?

Every moment I spend like this,
I am chipping away at Ana's life force.

So I want to get this tower over with
already and return this body to Ana.

I understand.

Are you okay with that, Subaru?

Yeah.

I don't think Meili would want us
to sit around here either.

Wow, you really are amazing, Mister!

Not that you actually believe
a lick of that yourself!

Are you going to do something
about my corpse?

I have to be sure,
or neither of us can rest easy.

True, I guess.

How?!

Sneaking around in the dead of night.
Looking for something, Barusu?

Or should I call you a fake?

A cheap knockoff of Barusu,
of Natsuki Subaru.

Come on, I was just out
for a midnight stroll.

Why're you treating me
like a criminal all of a sudden?

Did you honestly think nobody saw you?

Well, you're wrong.
I was watching.

m*rder...

m*rder

m*rder BECOMES A HABIT
...becomes a habit.

m*rder BECOMES A HABIT