19x07 - Episode 7

[bunniefuu]

Good evening and welcome to Would I
Lie To You,

the show where truth is often stranger
than fiction.

On David Mitchell's team tonight,

broadcaster, author, podcaster - it's
Richard Osman.

APPLAUSE

And an award-winning comedy actor

and star of Black Ops,

it's Gbemisola Ikumelo.

APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

And on Lee Mack's team tonight,

she is a nine-time Paralympic gold
medallist -

Hannah c*ck!

APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

And a star of stage and screen,

the very definition of a class act,

Jason Isaacs.

APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

We begin with Round 1, Home Truths,

where our panellists read out a
statement

from the card in front of them.

To make things harder, they've never
seen the card before.

They have no idea what they'll be
faced with.

It's up to the opposing team to sort
the fact from the fiction.

Now, Jason, you're up first.

- Aah!

I was once attacked by an astronaut.

- Well, there we are. David's team.
- Right.

Which astronaut?

- Uh...

Buzz Aldrin.

- You were attacked...
- Buzz Aldrin.

- You were attacked by Buzz Aldrin.

- I know.
- Wow.
- That's what I told you.

- That is a major astronaut to be
attacked by.

- That's... That's one of the big two.
- Yes.
- Yeah.

- What on earth were YOU doing with
Buzz Aldrin?

- Because I was in Star Trek, I had
access to spacey things.

So I was at, uh... I'd been to Nasa.

I've been to European Space Agency.

Space Rocks.
- I mean, those agencies,

they know that Star Trek's pretend,
don't they?

- Well, it's funny you should say
that.

- They weren't asking you for tips.
- No.

It's funny. A lot of the people who
work at Nasa,

the European Space Agency, did it
because they saw Star Trek.

In fact, the first African-American
woman in space, Mae, did it

because she saw Uhura on the bridge of
the Enterprise.

- I told my parents I wanted to be a
lawyer

because I enjoyed watching Rumpole Of
The Bailey.

- Yes. Very good reason.

- Yes.
- You loved Star Trek, though, didn't
you, as a child?

- Oh, yeah.
- You enjoyed it. You'd have loved to
have been in it.

- I went through a period of

whenever I went through a door in my
house going, "Beep!"

And then observing subsequently

that the doors in Star Trek don't go
"beep".

- No. They don't.
- What was wrong with me?

- I left my mark on Star Trek in a way
I was very proud of

because I loved it as a kid as well.
- Yeah.
- But hold on.

Stand up. Go on, stand up. All three
of you stand up.

So when a proton torpedo hits...

..the first AD would go, "Three, two,
one, left!"

Right. So not in sync.

And sometimes people would go right.

And I said, why don't we say the
direction first and go...

And they went... Everyone went,
"What?!"

They've never done that for 60 years!

And they would go, "Right, two, three,
go!"

- To be fair, it wasn't much better,
was it?

- LAUGHTER

- But they're still doing that on Star
Trek!

- Right, so you're at some sort of
spacey event.

- I was at a space convention thing,

and I fell into conversation with
Buzz,

and, uh, he was telling me what was
wrong with space movies,

because he wants to make one about
people living on Mars.
- Right.

- And I said, why do you want to make
a film about people living on Mars,

because we've used up the Earth's
resources or whatever?

And he went, "You're not one of those
climate change guys, are you?"

And I said, "Well, I'm not one of
those people

"who thinks it's not true that we have
climate change problems."

And then he, uh, basically, he went
for me.

He was held back.

- Does he move in really slow motion,
like, "Whoo"?

- LAUGHTER

- He's had a chequered career, Buzz
Aldrin.

He had a... He had a bit of a dip
after the moon.

- Well, they all did, didn't they?

I met a general when doing Armageddon,

who had been on the European Space
Station for a year,

and Bruce Willis and all the other
astronauts were all around,

but I got him and I said, "General,
can I ask you a question?

"When you're up there looking back
down at the Earth,

"you just see water and earth, kind of
green and blue..."

He said, "Yeah?" And I said, "Do you
feel more or less American?

"Do you feel patriotic, or do you just
feel like

"a citizen of the Earth, and that
those boundaries are arbitrary?"

And he went, "That's a good question.
Let me ask you something.

"Are Demi Moore's breasts real?"

- LAUGHTER

- "What?!"

- DAVID CACKLES

It's a splendid story, but is it true?

- About the general? Definitely.
- That one's true!

- Do you think it's true?
- It was a very good story.

- Well, thanks very much.

- I'm wondering if it was a very good
story

told by a very talented actor. I'm not
sure.

- Not sure if he's a talented actor?
- Yeah...

- LAUGHTER

- I think it's true. We've all met
Jason briefly beforehand.

You can imagine attacking the guy!

- So what's your team going to say,
David?

- Well, Richard thinks it's true.
- I feel like I do.

- I'll say true. I'll say true.
- And you're saying true.

- He's convinced me that it's true.
- I think it's true.

- OK. So, Jason, was it true or was it
a lie?

- It was

true.

- POINT AWARDED CHIME

APPLAUSE

It's true. Jason was attacked by Buzz
Aldrin.

Right, Gbemi. You're next.
- OK. Um...

I was once forced to have therapy

just so I could finish watching a
Disney film.

- Lee's team.

- Well, first of all, what was the
Disney film?

- Um, the film with the... the
m-mouse.

- The film with the...

- Ratatouille.
- Ratatouille?
- Yes.

- That's a rat, not a mouse.
- The rat. The film...

- I mean, the clue is in the title, to
be fair.

- I think you're thinking of
Mouse-saka. That's a different film.

- How old are you?

- I'm ashamed to say it was not that
long ago.

- So therapy because... because of
rats?

- So, yeah, I don't... I don't like
rodents. I don't like...

- Well, why did you watch Ratatouille?

- Well, because it's a cartoon.

But it was quite realistic looking,
the rat in it.

- Have we watched the same film?
- No. It was, like...

It moved funny. And I don't like
things that move, like...

- Scurried.
- They scurry.
- They scurry.

- And, like, little tails move.

- So what form did this therapy take?

- So you go to a doctor's place

and they talk to you about your
problem,

and then I don't think he believed me,
so...

- I know how he feels!

How many sessions did you have with
the therapist?

- So there was a pre-session that,
where,

like, you have to go to the
doctor's...

- Oh, and they referred you to a
therapist.

- And they referred me.

- So you're telling us you went to
your local GP

and they said, "What's the problem?"

And you said, "I'm struggling to get
through Ratatouille."

- LAUGHTER

- When you put it like that, it sounds
ridiculous.
- It does!

- But the GP was a guinea pig, so...

- LAUGHTER

- You must have seen other cartoon
rodents.

- No, but I think Ratatouille is the
most realistic depiction

of rodents that aren't real.

- Do you know, I believed everything
up until that sentence.

- Which part of Ratatouille stealing
that big tin of tomato soup

and escaping on a skateboard was real?

- I don't remember the skateboard bit.

- It wasn't, because I just made it
up.

- OK.
- A bit like you.

- LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE

- Don't clap that! You don't know!

- Hannah, what are you thinking of
Gbemi's tale?

- I mean, I'm terrified that it's
true, but it...

- Don't worry. If you're terrified,
you can go for therapy.

- I know.
- What about you, Jase?
- It's ludicrous.

It can't possibly be true.
- It's a lie.

- It's got to be a lie. I hope, for
Gbemi's sake, it's a lie.

- OK, Gbemi, was it a lie

or were you actually telling the
truth?

- I was telling the TRUTH!

- POINT AWARDED CHIME

APPLAUSE

It's true. Gbemi did have therapy so
she could finish Ratatouille.

Hannah. You're next.

- I once caused chaos in a kitchen
with a Cornish pasty.

- David's team.
- OK, how did you cause chaos?

- Um, well, essentially, I microwaved
it for a long time.

- Right. Time to take a guess.

Is she telling the truth or is it a
lie?

- Is there not more to it than that?

- Where are we, Hannah?

- We are at home in my mum and dad's
kitchen.

- Oh, lovely. Where in the country are
we?

- In Yorkshire, in Halifax.
- Oh, wonderful.

- Yeah, lovely part of the world.
- Which part of Yorkshire?
- In 'Alifax.

- Oh, sorry. I thought you said...

I thought you said, "These are the
facts."
- No, no, no.

- LAUGHTER

Little wave to everybody watching in
Halifax.

Nice... Nice to have you with us.

- Um, I was fairly young, you know,
that long summer

when you've had your GCSEs and you're
just living at home?

- Yeah.
- So I read the packet and it said
"cook for 45 minutes".

So I...
- Ohhh.
- ..just started it in the microwave

for as close to 45 minutes as the
microwave could take.

- And what happened?
- There was lots of smoke.

So I opened it, let it cool down and
then put it...

- Put it on some more.
- Yeah.

- Was it a manual, or was it a ding-y
one?

- A ding-y one.

- It was a ding-y one.
- Yeah, it was ding-y one.

- Why couldn't it get to 45 minutes?

- Don't know.
- It's just, if it's an automated
thingy,

you can just put in the number, right?

- Yeah.
- You've got to remember, right, I'm
sat down.

The microwave is above the oven. I am
just pressing buttons

and hoping something's going to
happen.

- Yeah, Gbemi, give her a break!
- You know...

- I am so sorry. If you want someone
from HR to come down, they will.

Unbelievable!

- So, I'm waiting...
- Oh, there's a rat!

LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE

- That therapy didn't work, did it?!

- So... So, Hannah, how did this
culminate?

What happened?
- Well, I just put it back in,

and then there was a small expl*si*n.

Um, at that point,

I realised it probably shouldn't go in
for 45 minutes.

I was trying to make a quick lunch

because I had an afternoon of
interviews to do.
- Right.

- So you thought you'd have a good
athletic lunch

of a Cornish pasty?
- Absolutely!

Hey, do you want to count the medals?
It works.

- A lot of detail. What are you
thinking, Richard?

- It's the sort of thing you do at 15.

- Gbemi.
- My thing is that you said it
couldn't get up to 45 minutes.

But on the automatic ones,

I feel like you should be able to put
in whatever number you want.

I will say it's true with that caveat
that that bit...

- "True with a caveat," we're not
allowed.

I've been applying for it for years.

- I'm going to say... I'm gonna say
false.

- You think it's false because you
haven't heard

a plausible description of a
microwave?
- Yes.

- I think it's... I think maybe it's
false as well.

- You think it's a lie as well? You
now think it's a lie?

You think it's a lie?
- It's like Twelve Angry Men.

- So, it is - you've just totally
swapped. OK, so we were there.

- Don't blame me if it's true.
- Of course I will!

- LAUGHTER

RICHARD:
- No, you blame me as well.
- Tell you what's going to happen now.

We're going to say it's a lie.

If it is a lie, I will enjoy the
point.

And if it is true,

I will enjoy saying, "Well, you two
are idiots."

- So you think it's a lie?
- No!

- But you can also override it.

- Yes, but I'm not overriding.
- But then...

- I see. I see what you're doing.
That's very clever.

So you're saying if I don't override
it,

I am essentially consenting to it.

- I think she's saying if you were any
sort of a man,

you would make your own decision.
- Yeah.

- OK. We're going true.

I do hope it's true now.

- Right. They're saying it's true.
- Yeah, yeah. Come on.

- Hannah, was it true or was it a lie?

- It was

true!

- POINT AWARDED CHIME

APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

Yes. It's true. Hannah did cause chaos
with a Cornish pasty.

Our next round is called This Is My,

where we bring on a mystery guest who
has a close connection

to one of our panellists.

This week, each of David's team will
claim it's them

that has the genuine connection to the
guest.

It's up to Lee's team to spot who's
telling the truth.

So please welcome this week's special
guest, John.

APPLAUSE

So, Richard, what is John to you?
- This is John.

He blacked both his eyes when a box of
my books bonked his bonce.

- Gbemi, how do you know John?
- This is John.

He is the corpse we had to replace on
set

because he couldn't stop corpsing.

- All right. Finally, David, what is
your relationship with John?

- Uh, this is John, and it's his fault

that my wife and daughter now call me
Captain Boring.

- So there we have it. Richard's
bruised buddy,

Gbemi's chuckling chum,

or David's mocking mate.

Lee's team, where will you begin?

- OK, Richard, please say that again.

- This is John.

He blacked both eyes when a box of my
books bonked him on the bonce.

- How many were in a box?
- It's about 48.

- So what's this gentleman's name
again?

- John.
- John. Nice. How do you...

That was a genuine question!

- Very good.
- I feel like a lawyer, but I just
genuinely had forgotten.

And how long have you known Brian?

- LAUGHTER

- That's good, yeah. He is good.

- Who is John, then?
- John is a rep for Penguin.

- I genuinely can't read a Penguin
book

because I've got a real fear of
penguins, and they're so realistic!

- Absolutely.

- So was it a book tour you were
doing?

- Yeah.
- So he travels around with you and
sets up the stand.
- Exactly that.

- Just describe the physical thing.

How did he get a black eye? Which bits
of his face did it hit

and what happened?
- Well, he was pulling,

there was one box here and one box
here,

and the top one toppled over, and the
three or four books came down

and one of them went straight on the
top of his...boom, straight down.

- I'm assuming hardbacks, not
paperbacks.

- They were hardbacks, yeah.

This guy is not getting bruised eyes
from a paperback, my friend.

If you know John, he's got tougher
eyes than that.

I went out and signed all the stock
and came back,

I'm going to say 25 minutes later, and
he was like, under both eyes...

- Within 25 minutes, he's got black
eyes?

- Yeah.
- Did he break his nose?
- No, it didn't.
- Interesting.

Normally you get two black eyes cos
someone's broken your nose.

Are you sure? Do you want to have
another go at that?

- You know... You know you just play
tough guys, right?

- Yeah.

I've played lots of doctors, actually!

So he came back in with two black
eyes, and you said?

- "My God, was that the book?" Of
course it was the book.

- Did anybody comment on the fact
that, miraculously,

he had instant black eyes

in a way that no-one in history has
ever had before?

- You don't think you get black eyes
in 25 minutes?
- No, I don't...

- I tell you somebody who'd give you
black eyes in 25 minutes -

Mr Buzz Aldrin!

- LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE

Now, what about... What about Gbemi?
- Remind us again, Gbemi, please.

- So, this is John. He's the corpse we
had to replace on set

because he kept corpsing.

- And what was the show?
- Black Ops.
- Black Ops.

- What was the gag that made him
laugh?

- There's this scene where somebody is
dead...
- Right.

- ..in a body bag, and we have to bury
them,

and they sort of have to cut off a
finger at some point.
- Right.

- And so I sort of back up and I'm
sort of...

My backside is in his face.

- Is that how he really got the black
eyes?

- Well, John's an actor.
- No, he's a stunt double or body
double.

And he basically has to replace the
actor who was in the body bag

and then have to cut off his finger.

So I'm backed up and I'm trying to get
some leverage.

- And now he's looking at your bum.

- And also my bum is kind of in his
face.

It's kind of like...
- And he's laughing.

- Nestling against his black eyes.

- But surely the camera is on the
finger, it's not focusing on...

- Yeah, but if someone's laughing on
set, like...

- So, it's not the face, it's the
audio that's the problem.

- It's all of it, because then he
laughs,

I laugh, we laugh.

- How many takes?

- I think maybe about five, six,
before we kind of thought

we have to swap him out.

- Who did you swap him for?

- We swapped him out for a log.

- A log?
- Yeah.

- So the thing I don't understand is,
he was a body double,

so he has to vaguely look like the
person, the other actor, yeah?

- Vaguely, but...
- More than a log does.

- More than a log, though, right?
- Yeah.

- Did they put a pair of glasses on
the log?

- No. Actually, we got enough.

So then we're just shoving in bits of
log, basically,

and zipping it up, to just get my
close-ups.
- OK.

- And have you... Have you worked with
him on other productions?

- No, we wouldn't bring him back.

Sorry, John!

- All right. What about David?

- Oh, no chance. Um, how are you
pretending to know this person?

- This is John, and it's his fault
that my wife and daughter

now call me Captain Boring.

- OK. How long have they been calling
you Captain Boring?

- They've done it over the last few
months, quite a bit.

- Oh, it's recent?
- It's recent.

- Before that, you were Colonel
Fantastic.

- No, I... I didn't have a military
rank, but,

you know, I was, you know,
obviously...

- He was Private Boring.
- I mean...

- How does he know Victoria and your
daughter?

- He doesn't.
- Ah!
- Do you know who else he doesn't
know?

- Ah, you'll be here all night.

- He doesn't know me.
- He doesn't know you?
- No.

- OK. What does John do for a living?

- He is the editor of The Beano.

- Ah! Interesting.

- Yes. That's interesting. Genuinely.

That's genuinely interesting.

- Interesting job, isn't it?
- Are you a subscriber?

- My daughter is a subscriber.
- Wow.

And is there a character in the Beano
called Captain Boring?

- No.
- No?
- No. What there was...

I could get on with it, if you like.
- Yes.

- You know surveys in magazines, like,
you sort of go,

"Are you an extrovert or an introvert?
Are you a...?"

- Yeah.
- Well, they had one in The Beano to
determine

how amusing you were.
- Ah!

- And as a professional comedian,

I was encouraged to enter this survey.

- Well, your daughter read it out.
- Yes.
- OK.

- And I answered the questions
honestly.

- And what kind of questions?

- I don't think that they were
accurate questions

for determining someone's fitness for
a career in comedy.

They were, I would say, overly prank
based.

- Could we hear a few?

- I can't totally remember, but it was
like,

"It's Halloween.

"What do you do?

"A, I don't dress up,

"B, you dress up as a ghost,

"or C, you dress up as a monster

"and throw jelly at everyone."

- I'm going for that you said A.

- "The teacher has left the room -

"do you A, get on with your work,

"B, "put a drawing pin on his chair,"

"or C, leak a story on social media
that he's a pervert?"

You know...

- LAUGHTER

- ..that kind of thing.

Um, and, er...

So I answer the survey and you get a
sort of score.

And the number I got was, as I recall,
four...

- Out of?

- Er, I think 12 was the maximum?

- And then do they do they give you,
like, if you get 12,

you are Captain Fantastic or whatever?

- Exactly. And what four was...
- Captain Boring.

- Captain Boring. Three and four.

So I was upper level Captain Boring.

My wife also entered the survey.
- And now she's a witty woman.

- But, to be fair, did she go second?
- She did.

- So she now knows how to play the
game.

- Well, yes, but there's no point in
cheating it.

That's showing no respect for the
survey.

That's like having a blood pressure
monitor for 24 hours

and just sitting still.

It's just... It's just yourself you're
tricking

at the end of the day.
- How did she get on?

- Well, she got five.

- Which makes her?

- Well, this is what I thought was
rather unfair.

Because while four is Captain Boring,

five is "Barrel of Laughs".
- Ah.

- LAUGHTER

- One up from CAPTAIN BORING,

you're "Barrel of Laughs"!

Barrel of Laughs is... That's pretty
funny-sounding, isn't it?

And it's just ONE UP...

..from Captain Boring!

One more affectation that I might do
something

slightly unconventional in a... in a
Bash Street setting,

and I would have qualified to be a
Barrel of Laughs.

Barrel of Laughs?!

That's what my wife has.

Captain Boring.

Yeah.
- Right, well! I'm not...

We need an answer. So, Lee's team, is
John

Richard's bruised buddy,

Gbemi's chuckling chum

or David's mocking mate?

- Wow.
- The one I doubt at the moment is
David because I...

I don't think he'd have reached four.

- LAUGHTER

- But it's annoying, this, because
actually,

all three of them are possible.

- I'm ruling the corpse out.
- I'm not ruling the corpse out.

- I think the story was good until the
log.

- It's an unusual thing to go to,
isn't it, if you're lying?

- That's true. But if John was a
giggler,

he might have giggled so far, at least
during one.

- That's true. He hasn't laughed once,
has he?

But then, he's quite near Captain
Boring.

I slightly want to rule out Richard.
It's a bit too believable.

- Fair enough. Captain Boring. I want
that to be true.

- I want it to be true. SO much so,

because we will now call him that for
the rest...

- OK. Time to decide.

- I think it's between David and
Gbemi.

And I'm going to trust that you
have...

You are an athlete. You're a winner.

I've won nothing in my life, ever.

- I want to stick with Gbemi, so...
- We'll go Gbemi.

I still think he's Captain Boring, but
we'll go Gbemi.
- Right.

We think it's Gbemi.

John, would you please reveal your
true identity?

- I'm John, and it's my fault that
David is called Captain Boring.

- CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Yes. John is David's mocking mate.
Thank you very much, John.

CHEERING

Which brings us to our final round,
Quickfire Lies.

And we start with...

BUZZER

..it's Lee.

- I am currently seeing four medical
professionals.

One for my head, one for my shoulders,

one for my knees, and one for my toes.

- LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE

David's team.

- OK, let's start with the toes.

- As you know, I've got webbed feet.
And I've decided...

- That's why they're in the bucket
down there,

aren't they?
- That's right, yes. Um...

I went to see a chiropodist. He
recommended an aquarium.

I had to see a chiropodist, who
is...is slowly getting rid

of the webbed feet.

- What is the therapy that gets rid of
the webbing?

- They freeze it and they just take a
tiny bit off each week.

And my... My feet are getting less
webbed

and my time at the 50-metre swimming
is getting slower.

- What's their name?
- Pardon?

- What's their name?
- Of the chiropodist?

- That's right.
- Steve.

- Steve. So, Steve the chiropodist.

- I call him Steve. Yeah, Steve!

- What's wrong with your knee? Who are
you seeing for your knee?

- We're trying to find that out. We're
struggling.

- Is it both knees?
- No, no, it's just one knee.

- Which knee?
- The middle one.

Um, apparently it's not normal to have
a middle one, and he's...

he's decided to try and get rid of it.

No, it's the right knee.
- The right knee?
- Yeah. On the left.

And...apparently it should be on the
right.

- Right.
- No, it's just pain. I'm getting a
lot of pain in my knee.

- What's the name of the knee doctor?

- Well, you're not gonna believe this.
- Oh, no.

- Eve.

- Now let's move up your body.

- I beg your pardon?

- Oh, let's just... I've just been a
little bit sick in my mouth.

- What's the problem with your
shoulders?

- Well, my shoulders are not working.

- In what sense?
- I can't shrug.

- Really?
- I'm serious! Oh!

No, I can't. It hurts when I shrug.
- I noticed, yeah.

- So, I've tried trying to put my head
down into the shoulders

to make it look like a shrug,

but that's not working because there's
a problem with my head,

which we'll get to in a minute.

- So you're basically under this
doctor to help you to shrug.

And what's...
- Not to help me to shrug - he's not
an idiot.

I've not gone to the shrug specialist.

I've just gone to the shoulder
specialist who's called,

um, David.

- David.
- Dav-iid! David. Dav-iid...

- What treatment is "Dav-iid"...?

- David's giving me lots of deep
tissue...

Lots of very deep tissue massage. He's
a physio.

- Shiatsu?
- Um, no, I don't know what type of
dog he's got,

but he's... He gets his thumbs right
in.

- He's very brave, isn't he?
- Thank you.

- Who, "Dav-iid"?
- No, Lee.
- Oh, Lee.

- Now, then, tell us about what's
wrong in your head.

- We-ell...

Chronic migraine.
- Yeah.
- Chronic migraine.

Chronic migraine. I've been repeating
things, I've been...

- So, who did you see?

- I went to see the doctor that deals
with migraine.

- What are they called?

- Er... Janet.
- Janet.

- Jan... Jan, Janet.

Janet is the name.

- Her surname is Janet and her first
name is Janet.

- Recommended by Dav-iid!

Dav-iid recommended Janet.

- You said you had chronic migraine.
- Yes.

- Because there's, like, bright lights
here.

At some point, you may have suffered
from them at work here.

- I have. I've been... I've been
struggling through

like a brave little soldier.

- And no-one's sort of...
- Doctor Showbiz always takes over.
Always.

- Showbiz could be Dav-iid's surname!
- That's true.

- So what are their names again, all
of their names again?

- Dav-iid Showbiz.

Jan... Janet.

Er, Steve's doing the webbed feet.
Steve's doing the knees.

- Who's doing the knees?

- Who, sorry?
- Eve!

- Eve.
- No, no.

Steve is doing the knees.

Her name's Eve, but she's got the
initials, ST...

She's a saint.
- She's a saint?
- I call her a saint.

I think of her... Without her, I...

Just, she's St Eve to me,

so I call her Steve.

- Right, David, what's your team going
to say?

- Do we think it's true that Lee is
consulting

a chiropodist called Steve

who freezes his feet and then erodes
away at the webbing,

a knee specialist called St Eve,

a shoulder specialist called Dav-iid
Showbiz

and a head specialist called Jan
Janet?

- Shall we take a risk and say lie?

- That's OK. They're saying it's a
lie.

Was it a lie or were you telling the
truth?

- It's definitely a lie.

- POINT AWARDED CHIME

APPLAUSE

Yes, it's a lie. Lee isn't seeing
medical professionals

for his head, shoulders, knees and
toes.

BUZZER SOUNDS

And that noise signals time is up.
It's the end of the show.

And I can reveal David's team has won

by five points to nil.

LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE

Thanks for watching. We'll see you
next time. Goodnight.

APPLAUSE AND CHEERING