01x04 - Episode 4

[bunniefuu]

You've taken medication before, right?

Yes...

I just don't think it's right for me.

I want to live my life,
drink, f*ck, paint, smoke.

I want to do all that.

And it usually works.

But it's not working anymore? Or?

Has anything in particular happened?

I don't know...

I just feel like I've lost my purpose.

Like I'm not needed.

Want to try something?

Yeah, sure.

It's like I'm living
someone else's life...

...and someone's living mine.

sh*t...

No, hang on, hang on...

Just relax.

Maybe it would be good for you
to start taking medication again.

Your life is in your
hands. No one else's.

- It's done. Send it.
- No...

- No, it's not done.
- It's perfect! Send it!

- I like this color.
- Yeah, it's great. Send it.

- It's not done.
- It's perfect, send it. - Linda, come.

- It's perfect. He should send it, right?
- Yeah.

- It's not done...
- You're a genius.

Send the damn thing.

Where have you been?

Nowhere, I just went for a
walk. God, you scared me.

- I needed some time alone.
- Okay.

You have something there... On your lip.

- Did you have dinner?
- I ate with Bess.

We waited for you.

I'm sorry. Maybe we
can have lunch tomorrow.

I'm seeing Hugo tomorrow.

Right.

Good night.

Frances, what do you want from him?

Hey.

If there's anything you want to know,

you can talk to me. You know that.

Yeah, sure.

Tell me what you want to know.

Did he stand in the way of you guys?

If Dad hadn't been around,
would you have been with Hugo?

Get some sleep.

Want to come for
drinks with August today?

Tonight? We're going to Jill's place.

- We haven't seen him in a long time.
- That's hardly our fault.

He's gotten completely
lost in the ad agency fog.

Isn't it good for him to
do something he enjoys?

I think he just wants to
prove something to his brother.

- What are you doing?
- What?

- Is that curry?
- Yeah, it tastes awesome. Try it.

No, no, I don't want it.

You can go see August,
and we can meet up later.

- Why can't you come?
- I have to study for my make-up exam.

It's a black-tie dinner tonight.

Maybe you can borrow something from Dad.

- No, I won't fit in.
- You don't need to try to fit in.

Just be yourself.

I'm just not comfortable
walking around there,

knowing that your friends
and parents are wondering.

Okay... Have you told your mom about me?

Well, that's not the same.
You don't live with her.

But when do I get to meet her?

You know everything about me.

You've met my entire
family and all my friends.

It feels like I don't know
anything about you.

Okay, I'll come to Jill's place.

Hi.

- Crew cut?
- I know.

I know.

- Can I feel it?
- Sure thing.

Wow.

- Something to drink?
- Sure.

Do I get a tour of the office?

You don't want that.

There's nothing to show, just
ad people and fancy coffee.

Look at those eyes.

How's it going with Thora?

Have you said that you love each other?

- No.
- Are you a couple?

We haven't really
defined our relationship.

Okay.

Are you happy?

What kind of question
is that? Now you sit here.

- Answer the question.
- No. Sit.

Are you happy?

I guess I should be.

I have gotten a haircut and a job.

But I don't know.

It could be the medication. It takes
some time to get the dosage right.

What medication?

Antidepressants.

Haven't I told you?

No.

But what the hell... Forget about that.

I'm watching my
brother's cat this weekend.

Why don't you guys come visit?

- Come on in, my beautiful friends.
- Hi.

I got one.

I got a really big one!

Hi.

- Hi, honey.
- Hi.

Come on in.

Kitty? I've tried to
feed the cat for days.

Kitty?

I don't usually... They
panicked because...

Their neighbor is away. I never
get to take care of the cat, but...

The neighbor is away,
so they turned to me.

August... How are you?

Is there anything we can do?

We can have fun. Can't we?

Yeah.

- Great that you could make it. Cheers.
- Cheers.

- Nice place you have here.
- Thanks.

How did it work? The trio?

I don't think your mom
would like this conversation.

Okay. Maybe I can guess.

You were in love with Dad.

Dad was in love with Mom.

And Mom was in love with you.

- It wasn't that simple.
- Okay.

Your parents already loved each other.

And you...?

...fell in love with both of them.

Wow. Great technique.

I've looked everywhere
by now. Everywhere.

I think it's dead.

- No...
- Yes.

Damn...

But...

Your birthday is in two weeks.

- 25.
- Yeah...

- What do we do then?
- We should have a party.

- Yes. At the collective?
- Yeah.

Sorry, but I've promised
my mom to come to Lund.

Okay, even better. The
three of us go to Lund.

The three of us in Lund.

Say yes...

He's sampling it.

- Sure thing.
- Awesome!

Okay! The trio's going to
Lund! The trio's going to Lund!

Come here, Thora.

The trio's going to Lund...

- Now we're here.
- Now we're here.

Don't you have a childhood friend?

- No, not anyone I'm close to.
- No?

It's especially important for
us only children to have that.

August was the first one
who made me feel less lonely.

But there's nothing harmful
about being alone. Or?

I often feel...

...that I'm in search of loneliness.

Then you've hardly
experienced real loneliness.

What are you afraid of, Hugo?

- What?
- Thora is afraid of loneliness.

Which is ironic, given that she
rejects everyone and everything.

I'm afraid of death. Just as ironic.

God, knock it off.

I want to hear what you're afraid of.

Maybe...

...being abandoned.

Isn't that the same as being lonely?

No.

It's not.

Oh...

Should we go to bed?

You can have the double bed.

Can't we all sleep together?

Why? You're a couple, right?

Either all three of us sleep
there, or we sleep separately.

Then we'll sleep separately.

You can take the children's room,
and you can sleep downstairs.

Good night.

Good night.

- Good night.
- Good night.

- Good night, August.
- Good night.

- Hi.
- Hi.

Feel.

I'll sneak back in the morning.

Why sneak? He already knows.

He's in a sensitive place right now.

I don't want him to feel left out.

Take them off.

- Did you come?
- No, but that's okay.

It's okay.

It's because of me that you
won't say that you love each other.

What?

I'm really happy for your sake.

Don't feel like you
have to take care of me.

No, I mostly feel like you have...

...distanced yourself.

And totally unnecessarily. I know
how much you mean to Thora.

I don't feel threatened.

But you're also not comfortable.

What are you doing?

I'm taking a shower, too. Is that okay?

If you want to, sure.

Thanks.

- Hi.
- Good morning.

I didn't know you were
coming home today.

I wasn't going to, but work came up...

I'm sorry. Of course we'll clean
up. You don't need to do anything.

I thought he'd quit, and
was taking real medication.

- He is.
- Oh, is this yours?

Samuel, I've been busy
with other stuff, but...

- I'll take better care of him.
- It's not your responsibility.

And not mine, either. He
should take care of himself.

It doesn't matter what I do, right?

I get him a job, money and therapy,

but he doesn't give a damn about it.

He's an adult and has
to take care of himself.

He can't depend on others all his life.

It's not wrong to need other people.

August and I need each other.

I take care of him and
he takes care of me.

And how's that working out?

Good morning.

- Hi.
- Hi.

You're home.

Yeah, so it would seem.

Do you want breakfast?

I'm quitting the medication.

It's not working for me. I'm not myself.

- But it keeps you alive.
- It's not a life.

Not a life worth living. I'd rather die.

Just leave me be. You
can let go of me now.

- Can I?
- Yeah, live your own life.

Listen, I don't care if you're g*y,

trans, communist or a starving artist.

You can be whatever you
want. Do you understand?

Be whatever you want, as
long as you're happy in life.

But you're not.

Thanks for the ride.

Agge, wait.

Do you know what it's
like to be on the sidelines...

...and always worry about you
jumping in front of a train or ODing?

You're so damn selfish.
Do you know that?

It's crazy. People die
in wars. From starvation.

They get brain tumors. What
do you have to feel bad about?

Hey, you don't have
anything to feel bad about.

Go away!

People die in f*cking wars!

- Let go, Samuel!
- They starve to death!

They get brain tumors! What
do you have to feel bad about?!

Nothing! Nothing! Do you understand?

You're wonderful, talented.
Everyone loves you.

- I hate you!
- You have friends.

Your friends love you.
Your family loves you.

Everyone loves you.

- You should feel good.
- Stop it, Samuel!

Do you know what the best part is?

I get to go home to my family and worry

about you slitting your wrists. Thanks.

And then it's my fault. Bingo.

My life is in my hands. No one else's.

- What's best about Paris?
- You guys. Us.

- Thora thinks you're f*ck.
- Stop it. I didn't say that.

- Put it down now.
- Sorry.

Dad's exhibition opening is
tomorrow. Do you want to come?

I'd love to.

What's your dad like?

The total opposite of yours.

Can't you describe him?

Unavailable.

Do you miss him?

No.

Not anymore.

Do you think it's possible to miss

someone you don't
have a single memory of?

Of course you can.

- Sit still.
- Yeah.

- Hello?
- Hi. I'm almost at your place.

I'm picking up stuff for the party.

- I'm not at home.
- Oh? Where are you?

I'm at the studio with August.

Oh? What are you doing?

What are you thinking about?

Are you sleeping together?

What?

Are you?

No, we're not.

- Are you?
- No.

If we were, would you be jealous?

No.

I love it!

Mom!

Hugo!

You seem to think it's cold.

I'm shaking.

Can't you guys kiss each other?

You want us to?

Come here.

You're shaking a lot.

Now you.

You don't have to.

Now me.

- Hi.
- I don't want you to come.

To the exhibition opening.

I can't have you there.

- I can't have you close.
- Okay.

I'm married, and we're
not good for each other.

No, I know.

We shouldn't see each other again.