01x06 - Boba or Bo-Bust

[bunniefuu]

Okay, Skips,
repaint the benches.

-[Skips grunts]
-[Benson] Muscle Man, Fives,

you're on landscaping
duty today.

You know who else
is on landscaping duty today?

-My mom!
-[both laugh]

And Mordecai and Rigby,

you're restocking
the snack shack.

-Aw, what?
-That job sucks!

It's a simple task.

You just need to replace
the same snacks we always get.

Because they all expire.

But shouldn't we get something
else if they're all expired?

People aren't buying them
because they're expired.

But they expired because
nobody buys them.

They got a point.

Ooh! It's a real chicken
and the egg situation.

[grunts] Just go buy the snacks
or you're fired!

Peanuts, raisins,
raisin coated peanuts?

These snacks suck.

We should just buy
something good.

That'll show Benson.

Yeah, but what should we pick?

Only one way to decide.

[both] Free samples!

[soft instrumental music
playing]

Boba? What's Boba?

[both slurping]

Bo... ba... bo... ba...

-Bo... bo... bo... bo...
-Bo-bo-bo-bo-bobo-bo.

Bo-bo-bo-bo...

[both] Boba!

[both laughing] Boba!

I'm feeling daring today.

I think I'm gonna go
for the raisins. Huh?

-[Benson] Mordecai, Rigby!
-[crows cawing]

Where are all the snacks?

Geez, chill, Benson.

We got something way better.

Yeah, at least try it
before you freak out.

[slurps, coughs]

Why are there ba*ls
in my mouth?

That's the boba.

It's the future.

I didn't tell you to buy
the future.

I told you to buy
what was on the list.

Take it back right now
and get the other snacks.

Ooh... We can't.

It was final sale.

[groans] If you don't sell
every single ball of boba

and make back the money you
spent by the end of the week,

you're fired!

Wanna try some, Boba?
It's a drink with ba*ls in it.

Hey, lady! Boba for your baby?

Hey, where's the restroom?

The better question is,
"Are you hungry/thirsty?"

You have any raisins?

What we do have is a snack
and drink you gotta try.

Phew! It is hotter than
a billy goat in a pepper patch.

Y'all got water?

We've got boba!

Ah! What is this?
Like a smooth juice? Gimme.

[slurps, coughs]

Why are there ba*ls in it?

-[grunts]
-You're supposed to chew it!

[Mordecai groans]

We're never gonna
sell this, Boba.

What if we had a mascot?

But who do we know
that looks like Boba?

[Pops] Goodbye, sun.

Even though
I'm closing my eyes,

I can still see you
through my lids.

-[both gasp]
-[Mordecai] Hey, Pops!

Wanna be our mascot
and help us sell Boba?

Me? Are you sure?

Yeah. You kinda look like boba.

Well, if you think so, why not?

[both] Aw ye-yeah!

Fresh steamed hot boba
right here.

-[whimsical music playing]
-Don't I look tasty?

Boba boba boba!

[child crying]

Boba for sunset?

[sighs] Mascottery
is serious business.

I'm zero for ten,

but if I could just get
a cold glass of water,

I'm sure a win is right around
the corner.

Sorry, Pops.
All we have is boba.

Oh, I've never
had a boba before.

Marvelous.

Bottoms up!

[slurps, chews]

[gulps] Oh, my.

The boba...

-[both] Pops!
-It makes me feel...

-[both] Whoa!
-[Pops exclaims]

[thunder rumbling]

[laughing] ...Bobacious.

Uh, you feeling better, Pops?

Pops?

Nah, that ain't my angle.
You're speaking to...

-[thunder rumbling]
-Boba Casanova. [blows]

Hey, little help?

Go long, daddio!

[scatting] Baby!

-[Boba grunting]
-[groans] Ow!

Whoa! A perfect spiral.

That was so sick, dude,
how did you do that?

Easy, baby.

By sipping on boba.

What's boba?

Head over to the snack shack
to find out.

Yo, hook us up with two bobas!

[chuckling mischievously]

[upbeat music playing]

Four bobas for Stacy!

Actually, make it eight.

You got it!

[man singing] ♪ Boba Casanova ♪

-[scatting]
-[thunder rumbling]

-Bobacious!
-[crowd clapping, cheering]

That's the guy, Boba Casanova.

That's the word
from the bird, baby.

[laughs] I told you
he was funny.

♪ Boba, boba, boba ♪

♪ No-oh-oh-va ♪

♪ Boba Casanova ♪

♪ Boba Casanova,
Boba Casanova, Boba... ♪

Life's too short
not to be slurping

-on some bobacious boba!
-[thunderclap]

Time to dunk on your taste buds
with a different type of ba*ls.

-[thunderclap]
-Saving the universe?

No problem! Boba travels, baby!

[Fighter 1] Boba rules!

[man singing] ♪ Boba Casanova ♪

Smell that sweet, sweet green.

Dude, if we keep this up,

we'll be able to pay
Benson back for sure.

-[Pops groaning]
-[Mordecai gasps]

-Pops?
-[Pops groaning]

[both gasp]

Hey, buddy.

Guess I got a little
too footloose out there.

What happened after I drank
that blessed beverage?

You became Boba Casanova,
and we made tons of money.

[coughs] Oh, goodie!

Whoa, Pops!
What did you guys do to him?

Nothing. We just gave him boba.

Great. Now,
Pops has the boba blues

just so you could sell
your little chewy ba*ls!

He was thirsty. We didn't want
him to get heatstroke.

Don't be cross, Benson.

I got to be a boba mascot.

It was the most
glorious... [coughs]

That's it. If you need a mascot
to sell your boba,

do it yourself.

Bo-ba bo-ba bo-bo-ba!

Dude, go sell those dudes
some boba.

[clears throat] Boba
Boba Bobiddy.

[groans]

-Aw man...
-[Rigby groans softly]

Oh, sell to that guy.

Boba bo boba. [grunts]

[groaning]

Sell to that woman
and her daughter?

Ribbity boobity boba...

[Rigby yells in pain]

I can't sell boba anymore.

Mordecai, Rigby!
How's the boba business going?

You look great, Pops.

I feel like a spring chicken
after a good night's rest.

I wouldn't mind helping you
sell your boba if you'd like.

Unless that Boba Casanova's

too much
of a live wire for you.

-I don't know, Pops--
-Take the boba!

[slurping]

[thunderclap, rumbling]

Let's move some, boba!

[man singing] ♪ Boba Casanova ♪

Come 'ere you little boba head!

-[all cheering]
-[man] Take my money!

[man singing] ♪ Boba Casanova,
Boba Casanova ♪

♪ Bo-bo-bo-boba Casanova ♪

[slurping]

[Boba Casanova] Higher, higher!

Get the boba in the skies!

[Pops exclaims]

[scatting]

[man singing] ♪ ...Casanova ♪

-[slurps]
-[ripping]

♪ Move it with that boba,
move it with that boba ♪

Dude, we're making a k*lling!

Aw, yeah, only two bags
of boba left.

Ooh, ain't nothing
gonna stop me

from selling that sweet,
sweet bo... [groans]

[groaning] Boba, oh...

[weakly] I am, but a vessel.

Pops, no offense,
but you look--

Like dog water, dude!

Dude, I know we only have
a little bit of boba left,

but I think we got to cut
our losses.

Boba Casanova is too much
for you, man.

Oh. but I don't know
what I'd do

if you got fired
and had to leave the park.

Just one last lap around
the merry go round won't hurt.

Okay, just one more time.

Oh, goodie!

-[thunderclap, rumbling]
-[Mordecai, Rigby exclaim]

Miss me, boys?

[synth music playing]

[Kaiju groaning]

[Fighter 1] Time to kick this
into high tide!

[robot clanging]

[Kaiju] Thirsty for blood.

[Fighter 1] Wait.
We know something

much tastier than blood.

It's called...

Boba.

[Kaiju] Bo... ba?

Better than blood?

Where can I find this boba?

[Fighter 1] At the park!
The United States of America.

United States of America?

[yelling] Boba!

[Boba Casanova]
Totally ballsy! Ha ha!

Keep going, Boba Casanova!
We're almost sold out.

[all exclaiming]

What's buzzing, cousin?

[Kaiju grunts] Bo-ba!

[sucking]

Boba Casanova, run!

I never pass on a sale,
nightingales!

[Mordecai, Rigby
exclaim, grunt]

What's with you guys?

I was about to seal the deal.

[all panting]

[Mordecai] Quick
in the snack shack!

[Kaiju grunts, sucks]

-[Kaiju] Boba!
-[Mordecai, Rigby exclaim]

Looks like
I'm cashin' out boys!

Every party has a curfew.

We gotta do something.

The monster just wants
the boba.

Let's give it to him!

[Rigby grunts]

Don't let me go!

Just release the boba!

Suck on this, you monster!

[grunts]

[slurping, gags]

[retches]

[exclaims] Bobacious!

Boba...

Why ba*ls in it?

-[rumbling]
-Casanova's got nine lives,

and that was my last.

Just know when you see
a glint in the night sky,

that'll be me, boba babies!

-[deflates]
-[both] Uh...

Pops! I can't believe
that monster almost ate you.

We're sorry we made you
drink all that boba.

[weakly] No apologies
necessary.

I want to thank you
for releasing

the little Boba Casanova
that lives inside all of us.

What have you done to Pops?

Before you say
anything, Benson.

We did sell all the boba.

Yeah, we actually made
a ton of money.

-Check it.
-[cash register dings]

That's great.

Except it's only gonna cover
a tenth of the damage

you've done to the park!

[scatting] ...bobacious.

[groans, thuds]

[theme music playing]