Cigarette, The (2024)

[bunniefuu]

Yeah, It was the worst date ever. Just,

it was awful.

Who goes to a diner and

orders spaghetti? Oh yeah.

He was, he was embarrassing.

It was all over the place.

Yeah. I still didn't wanna be there.

It was the worst day ever.

He's such a loser. Then.

We were trying to leave,

we were leaving, walking out,

and he tried to gimme a kiss

as he was getting on his bike.

Yeah. Yeah. I, I'll never do that again.

Ever. Watch where you're

walking Whiskey Willie.

Hey Brenda. Are you still there?

Anyway, sorry about the date.

Hopefully you will meet someone soon.

The next one will ask you

for your hand in marriage.

Don't worry, honey,

things are looking out for you.

I have to go that way. We're gonna slip.

Yeah, well go that way. And you won't.

But it's not gonna fit in the,

in here like that. Yes.

It'll open the other door.

You're gonna be able to get in that way.

Go. It's not gonna fit. Yes,

it will just go.

I'm trying. Just do, what the f*ck?

Ah,

So Fourth dungeon.

Okay, fourth dungeon.

There's a guy,

you have to get the sword from him.

Now,

what you gotta first do is you gotta get

past all of his guards.

Right? So there's gonna be

like this dragon looking guy.

I don't know what the hell

he is. He's like a dragon.

And what?

Help, help, help.

Please, please help, help, help.

Police. Put it down. I mean it, man.

Put the knife down and take a step back.

Right now.

Holy sh*t. I knew this guy in High school?

Jasmine, come on. I need

to get to work. Oh, hello there.

You don't even have a job.

Why are you showering first?

I just wanted to look cute for.

You. Right?

I'm so tired of your selfishness.

I've had enough of

paying for everything. What.

Are you talking about? I paid

for this pedicure. Okay.

And when was the last

time you did something?

Not for you, but for us?

Um, Exactly. You're a slob and a f*ck up.

What Do you mean? Where are my shoes?

Come. Let's do a quickie.

I don't have time. I'm running

late. Where are my shoes?

I don't know where your shoes

are. Whatcha are you doing?

Cannot find. Can you stop throwing

my shoes? I got these are,

I can't find my shoes. These.

Are very expensive shoes. You know,

Look at this sh*t, Jasmine.

See all this stuff? This is why

you've been feeling heavier

on top of me the last few months, right?

Is all you ate this? Is this crap enough?

I'm tossing it. Baby. No,

Don't have your junk. Throw away my food.

You'll have some more motivation to go.

And draw. I'm gonna throw away your toys,

then.

They are not toys. They're collectibles.

And they are very f*ck

expensive. Collectible.

Who is this Spiderman.

Well, who is this Wonder

Woman? Captain American? Yeah.

Whatever. What is this Power

Ranger? What are you? 12.

You know what? Get out.

What do you mean get out?

I mean, leave my house. I've had enough.

Enough of what? Enough

Of you and your sh*t.

What are you doing? Oh,

okay. You want away my stuff?

I'll throw away your stuff too.

Stop throwing my shoes off.

Take your stuff and leave.

What are you talking about?

I'm talking about we're over. It's done.

Are you serious? Yes. Get outta my house.

Steve. Do you mean it?

I've never been more serious

about anything in my life.

Leave.

Well, can I at least get an Uber?

It's too many things for me to

carry. I am not even dressed up.

Take this. Take a subway,

a car, whatever you need to,

to get as far away from here as you can.

I don't care.

Mary. Dad,

Jazmine. What are

you doing here? Oh, you look upset.

What happened now? Oh,

Steve broke up with me.

He kicked me out. Not again, dad.

How what'd you do this

time? What'd you do this time?

He said that I don't pay the bill.

That I waste too much water. And,

you know, sounds.

Pretty familiar. Sounds.

Familiar, doesn't it?

Hmm. Anyway,

I'm gonna go to my room. No, no,

No. Jasmine, you

can't go to your room.

We rented it two months

ago. I told you that.

Apparently you weren't listening again.

Dad. Hi.

Who the hell is this? I'm

Stan. Can

you kick him out? Hell no. Absolutely not.

Awkward. He's a great tenant.

Stan pays rent. He doesn't

waste money like you do.

You, you take two hour showers, Jasmine,

You keep the lights on all the time.

You keep the gas stove burning.

Mary,

I told you that was when I was 12 years old

and I didn't know that. Listen,

Firecracker. Jasmine,

you are an adult.

You need to get an apartment and get a job.

Daddy am your little princess,

Princess of darkness, maybe. Mm-Hmm?

You Need to support. We're going on.

Vacation yourself. Oh, yes

we are. Oh,

That's just perfect. I

could just get the

sleeping bag in the garage

and put it in the living room

and stay here. Watch. No.

Hell no. That's not happening.

We're afraid you'll burn it down again.

Stan will watch the house. We

don't need you to watch the house.

Come on. No. You guys serious?

Yes. You need to go.

This is not happening again.

Come back when you have a job.

Okay? I see what's happening

here. You know what?

I'm gonna prove it to you,

Mary and you dad.

I'm gonna find a job and prove to you

that I'm a very independent,

responsible woman.

Good. Do that. We would love that.

We would love it. All right. Goodbye, Mary.

Goodbye, dad. Goodbye. And you too, Stan.

Goodbye. Can you? She seems nice.

Ugh. What now, Jasmine, Can I get an Uber?

You're seriously crazy. I love you,

but no, goodbye.

Oh,

An Uber. The princess wants an Uber. Well,

She didn't ask for a

rental car. Look at the.

Good side. She's got her mother's genes.

Yeah. A hundred percent.

Sarah. My

best friend of whole world.

How are you? Long time. No see.

What do you want?

I listen. I need a place to crash.

No, Why.

Not? You are not staying

with me.

Look I love you so much,

but you are the most self-centered person.

I know. You're not

gonna freeload off of me.

Listen, today is the day

that I'm gonna change my life around.

It's gonna be a new me. Um,

I also need a job.

Okay, well, if I hear anything,

I will let you know.

Uh, what about here? You

seem to be working by yourself.

You seem like you need some help, Jasmine.

No. I love you, but you ruin everything.

And if I hire you,

we're both gonna get fired.

Come On. I'm not the manager.

I I don't hire people anyways.

Well, can I at least have a place to crash?

Please, please. Listen. Listen please.

My parents don't want me in the house.

They have some guy living there now.

And my boyfriend, well,

my now ex-boyfriend broke out with me.

You are the only friend had you don't wanna

trust and depend on.

Please, please,

please. Pretty please. Fine. One week.

And you need to find a job.

I will now. Yes. Yes, I will.

I'm not kidding. Yes, I promise. I promise.

Uh, after you make me a dirty martini

and please make it extra dirty.

I promise I'll,

I'll after that. You can have a beer.

A beer. A beer. I don't

drink beer. You know that.

Whatever ton of beer is

this. I never heard that brand.

My gosh.

Kind of beer is this. It's a beer.

What the hell on the,

can I have some water please?

She could have some

water. And then and also mint.

A mint. Fine.

Hello? Can I get a drink over here? Well,

hello there.

Beautiful. How are you? What's your name?

I'm Omari. Pleasure to meet

you. Please don't hit on me.

I just broke up with my boyfriend

and no, I don't want any rebound. Come.

On. I got a job

offering for you.

It's an offer you can't refuse.

Oh, trust me. I can refuse.

Seriously,

let me ask you a question. Do you smoke?

No. Do I smoke like I smoke?

It's,

it's an offer. It's a job offer. Come on.

This is a chance to make some money.

You know, get out there, do things.

Uh, what kind of job are you offering me?

Is there something that

involves me being on my

knees and scraping it? No, thank you.

It's a, it's a cigarette marketing gig.

You would have to take this and smoke it

or pretend to smoke it

and uh, you know,

you'd go to streets, clubs, bars,

schools, especially schools.

What kind of nonsense. Like

you're telling me,

If they take the product, it pays 500

for people over 40,

a thousand for millennials,

3000 for teens, and 10,000 for kids.

Huh? What do you think about that?

Are you outta your f*cking mind? Kids?

Teens? Are you trying to get me locked up?

You would have to wait

until they ask. Of course.

And when they do,

you would give 'em a cigarette from here

and only from here.

Just remember to keep the

two separate. Never together.

And um, this is more like a

Hollywood cigarette, you know,

it burns no smoke and lasts forever.

Um, I'm confused. I still don't understand.

You have gorgeous eyes by the way. You took.

More. So,

uh, what do you think?

Are you, uh, are you in or are you out?

Well, I mean, I don't know.

I mean, um, how would I get paid.

Through the app Of course.

Which app? Cash for cigarettes.

Oh, okay. Let me look.

Just, uh, remember to walk away immediately

after you give him a cigarette.

Oh, I think I just done with it.

Is this the one right here?

No one the hell did he went.

I mean, looks,

I don't know.

What the hell am I doing

with this? It's just crazy.

Woo.

Hey, what is up beautiful.

Hi. You got a cigarette I can borrow?

Sure. How.

You know? I almost confused you

with the cigarette.

I saw you with it and I'm just like, damn,

I gotta take a smoke out of that a*s.

Really? Yeah. I think

you got a really nice butt.

How can you tell sitting down?

I mean, look at you just so sexy

that someone like you got.

Gotta have a nice figure.

I guess I do. Yeah, I do work out.

Yeah. You looking for a gym partner?

I like to go early in the morning,

so I mean, look at me.

Um, no, I'm good. You live around here?

Um, kind of, yeah. Yeah.

Well, so do I. Why don't we,

uh, swing by, you know,

get to know each other a little bit.

No,

thank you. You got a lighter I can borrow.

Um, sure. You know,

I'm trying to give up smoking,

but with this tough economy,

it's just so hard right now.

You know? I would

rather suffer with someone.

Sorry, it's not working. Oh, that's okay.

Lemme see if I can really

look from my number.

Be outta liquid. Something.

Ah, I got one right here.

But yeah, as I was saying, I met this guy

who just gave up smoking sex

and eating fatty foods

just until the day he died.

It was crazy.

Oh, okay. So

anyways, I'm gonna get your number.

You know, I just wanted to take you

out, get to know you a little bit.

You know what? Um, I'm sorry. I gotta go.

Wait,

come on. Where you going? I don't mind.

Something came up. Sorry. Are you sure?

Yeah. I don't mind to

take you out to dinner.

Damn. I knew I should

have put on deodorant.

Hey Jasmine,

how's your cute boyfriend Steve doing?

Uh, Steve's he got herpes. Oh.

Oh my God.

Hello? Say where are you?

I'm out for a run. What do you want?

Are you serious? What about Jeffrey?

You were supposed to pick him up. Alright,

I got an Uber. I'll take

care of it. Just get off my back.

Bye. Oh,

Good morning. How can I help you?

Yes, hi. I would like to,

um, know something

that happened, my phone story short.

Some guy told me to download this app

and I think he sent me some money.

I wanted to know if it was real money

or fake money. Oh, sure.

I can help you with that.

Do you have an ID that I can?

Yes, yes, I do.

Use to access your account.

Uh, here. Okay, great. Just one moment.

Yes.

Uh, yes. Jasmine? Yes,

that's yes. All right.

Yes,

I do see that there was a deposit recently

of $500 from a company

called The Cigarette. Yes.

Yes. Alright. Uh, yes,

that is there. That was legit.

Uh, is there something

else I can help you with?

Yes, may I please have the money in cash?

Uh, let's see.

Unfortunately,

it looks like there had been, um,

some fees on your account that left you

with a negative balance.

There were some overdraft

fees and some additional fees.

And what happens with our system, uh,

if there is a negative balance

and monies deposited,

the, that will be used

to bring your balance up to a positive

or as close to positive.

And it looks like that did cover the fees,

but it only left you with a $10 balance

in your account. Are.

You serious? Are you kidding with me?

No, I'm not. I'm sorry. Oh,

that's ridiculous.

Insane. I'm not.

Do you wanna take

the $10 out or leave it in?

Yeah, sure. Okay. I can get that for you.

Just let me note that on your account.

And then since that left

you with a zero balance.

Do you want to close your account or.

No, that's fine. We'll leave.

It for today. Yeah.

Alright. Alright. Alright. Thank you.

Hey, there girl.

Um, I forgot to get the

keys from you yesterday.

Is it okay that I come by?

I noticed, I was just so tipsy

that I just like left there so fast.

You were not tipsy.

You were drunk crying

and calling everyone Steve.

No way. For real.

Really? No way. It was funny.

Anyways, just, just come to

the bar and grab the keys. Okay?

Well thank you so much

really for letting me stay over.

I really appreciate it. You.

Thank you. You're welcome.

Only for one week.

Yeah, I know. Hey, guess what?

What? I got a job.

I didn't know playpen was hiring

and No, you can't borrow

any of my thongs or panties.

Ha ha ha. Very funny.

Okay? Just come get the keys.

Alright then. See you soon. Bye.

Yo, you dropped your "cigs".

Oh, Can I have one up?

Are you over 18 years old? Yeah. You are?

What year you was born? Um,

Mm. Whatever. Take it.

Damn, bro. What the f*ck?

I'm gonna hit it this time.

Yo, my man. Damn.

My g What is your balance at, bro? Nah,

It's this one.

Got it though. Wow.

That was pitiful.

Well, I don't know if I

know if he cut for the yo.

Say it again bro. I don't know if he

cut for Say it again, bro.

Okay.

Yes. May I help you?

Can I have a cigarette?

No. You crazy. You a kid, Please?

No. Where's your parents?

Can I please have a cigarette?

Uh, Please.

Well, I don't know.

Maybe I'll give you one,

but this is gonna be our little secret,

all right?

Okay. Don't tell no one you promise?

Yes. All right. Here. No one.

Okay. Welcome. Enjoy it.

Have fun with it. Bye. Bye.

Kids are so stupid.

Oh, whoa, whoa,

whoa. Look. Who's calling me? Hello?

Hey, why did you tell Megan

that I have herpes? Did I say that?

Did you, you know that she called my

sister and asked her about it?

Yeah. Listen, you still have a

bunch of crap at my apartment.

When are you gonna come get all this stuff?

Relax. I'll get them

when I have time. All right.

Jasmin you need to come get your crap.

I cannot work with all this stuff around.

What? Do you have a new girlfriend

moving in?

No, I just don't need 200

pairs of shoes at the moment.

So can I throw this stuff out then, or.

No? No, don't touch

any of my stuff.

I told you when I have time,

I will come and get it. Oh,

Like you're so busy sleeping till noon,

eating junk food, watching tv.

Come on.

As a matter of fact, I have a new job.

I made over $4,000 today.

Oh, what are you stripping now?

No. What does everyone

thinks I'm a stripper.

Well, it's not like you're

qualified for much of anything

except having a round a*s.

What kind of woman do you think I am?

Well, it's a matter of fact.

I have a new sugar

daddy and he's your daddy.

I don't even understand that,

but good luck to him.

What are you jealous? The

best revenge against a man

who steals your woman is let him have her.

Steve, you would never find anyone like me.

Oh God. I hope so. You know what? Jasmin?

I used to think you took my breath away,

but really you were just

suffocating me to death.

Hello? What a f*cking jerk.

I should have listened to my mother.

Oh, hey Ari. It's time for bed

here. I got a treat for You?

Yes. Oh,

let me see if I got any

texts from that stupid jerk.

Steve. Whatever.

Goodnight Ari.

Oh my God. Oh,

okay. It was only a nightmare.

Hey, Ari. Oh,

Okay. Not, not that much.

Okay, class. If Susie had three apples

and John took two, how many apples

does Susie have left?

Any? Heather?

Jennifer, what's so funny

Jennifer note?

Guess what? I have a cigarette.

Do you want to join me after

gym class under the bleachers?

My sisters friends like to smoke.

Do you girls have any idea

how bad cigarette smoking is?

Your teeth are gonna turn

yellow. You'll smell bad.

Your lungs are gonna turn black

and you're not gonna be able to breathe.

Where's the cigarette? Jennifer?

What? Cigarette Backpack.

Now,

Heather, every day it's

something with you that I have

to stop class because

you are being disruptrive.

Can you even spell cigarette?

C-I-G-A-R-E-T-T-E

Up to the board Now Heather,

you are gonna write 50 times.

I will not smoke cigarettes.

Oh Ms. Miller thinks she is so smart.

Yeah. Oh my God.

A lighter light it. That's

dirty and gross. Light it fine.

Hey little girl.

This one really needs to

go back to kindergarten.

No, never seen such chicken scratch.

Barney, could you come back

later to clean the classroom?

I'm grading papers. Seriously,

Barney, I gotta get this done.

I am sure there's other

classrooms you can be cleaning?

What's Going on here? Oh, what time is it?

Oh my God. Ari. I got some money.

This is freaking amazing. Oh. Oh sh*t.

Oh My God, Ari,

oh my God. Come back. Oh my God.

I don't know what the

hell I'm gonna do Now.

I don't have time for this.

Hey guys. Jasmine. Oh,

hi Stan. What do you want now?

Nothing. I just came to tell

you and dad that I got a job.

What? That's amazing.

Oh my gosh. I'm so proud of you.

What kind of job could you get?

A marketing job. A Marketing job? Yeah.

Selling hamburgers and fast food.

No dad. It's a real job.

But anyway, yeah,

I I I told you I was gonna get a job.

I told you too. Right?

Someone owes me an apology.

I don't believe it. We'll have to see.

I Always had faith in you.

Oh, thank you. I'm so proud. See,

she had faith in me.

Not you. Yeah.

Oh, hello,

Jasmin. Mm-Hmm.

The cops were at the bar looking for you.

What do you mean? And where's my cat?

I don't know. Check under

the bed underneath the couch?

I don't know.

The cops were questioning me about you.

What,

what kind of question are we asking you?

Where you live? What

you like? I don't know.

What do you tell them.

The truth that you live

with me and stay with your parents.

Jasmin, what did you do?

What? On heaven's earth. Oh my God.

Jasmin, isn't that you on the news?

I gotta go. Okay. All right. Bye.

Um, Why are they saying you're a person of.

Interest? I, I don't know.

I have no idea.

I swear to God, dad, uh, Mary, I don't,

I don't know what's going

on here. Did you do this time?

That's you. That's you. I,

I don't know. It must be

a mistake.

I swear to God, dad,

I have a real job. Mary.

You have to believe you have a real

job. I don't know. You're.

In big trouble this time.

No,

I don't know anything about that. I swear,

Here we go again.

Police get on the ground... Yes?

Get on the ground now.

Oh my god.

Ok Ok, relax.

Alright, alright, alright

I didn't do anyting, I didn't do anyting.

Put your palms up,

put your palms up! I didn't do anything.

Stop that you can't do

that! You are hurting her.

Show us a paper!

Up off the You're messing with the floor.

Ok, Ok.

This is Police Brutality.

You are hurting her.

Oh My god, my god.

Get my brother on the phone!

You are huring her!

Uncle Juan.

Hi Jasmine. And it's John,

not Juan anymore.

Oh, okay.

Okay. So let's see

what you've gotten yourself into this time.

Okay. Well, you made bail.

Oh, thank God. Well,

because you didn't have any priors,

surprisingly.

What does that even mean?

What are you trying to say?

I think you know what it means. Okay.

So you are charged

with if you're interested.

Yes, please. Okay.

So we have, uh, let's see, uh, contributing

to the delinquency of a minor.

What Sale of drugs?

What Involuntary manslaughter.

God In smoking in public.

What? Are you kidding me?

I thought that smoking

in probably was legal.

Well, it, it's a misdemeanor,

but Ja Jazmine, I,

I think you should be more concerned

with the involuntary manslaughter charge,

don't you?

I, I guess.

Alright, listen

and give it to me straight.

Tell me what happened. Please don't lie.

I always know when you're lying.

Well, long story short, this guy at a bar,

he made me download this app where

he was paying me money

for selling cigarettes for him.

Wait a minute. Where did all my money go?

What are you talking

about In the app? I don't,

Lemme see your phone. Oh,

My right there. All

the money disappear on the app.

It disappear. It's not there no more.

Well, yet I don't see any app. Oh,

You know what?

I got this. Um,

he gave me these cigarettes Right. To sell.

These are the cigarettes that

he was giving me to sell. And.

What the What?

It, the cigarette just disappeared.

I don't understand what happened.

And they were inside

here like a few minutes

ago before you came in.

They were right here and the.

App. And they, they

just disappeared. Yes. And the app.

So the app disappeared and

the cigarettes disappeared. Yes.

Jasmine,

I swear I'm not lying to you.

They were right here a few minutes ago.

Okay. Okay. Do you have,

do you have his number? Do

you have his phone number?

No, I don't. You don't have his number?

No. I only know his first name.

A business name? No,

I mean, the app was just Paul.

Address, address of the business.

Did he show you the business?

No,

he didn't. He just made me download an app

and he was paying me that way. Jasmine,

What's wrong with you?

I don't know. Ugh.

I, I don't know what I can You don't

have any information at all? No.

That's all I have. The cigarette in the app

that just disappeared.

And it just disappeared.

Yes. Why don't you believe me?

I don't know what's going

on. I feel like I'm in a lifetime

movie or something.

Oh gosh.

Oh my God. Sarah, I'm so glad you're here.

Listen, I need a big favor.

Do you have the recording on?

Um, these cameras right here? Yeah.

Yeah. I need to take, I have 'em in.

They're in the back. Hi Honey. I get them.

Where are my keys? My landlord's not home.

And I was stuck out all night,

Man. I'm sorry. I think

I left it at my parents' house.

I'll, I'll get that from you later.

So can I have the tape recording please?

You are so selfish. And where's my cat?

Um, listen, I have nothing to do

with your escape cat. Right? How.

Do you know my cat escaped?

Um, well, I'm just guessing

because that's what cats do.

They always escape and stuff.

Is he dead or alive? Just tell me,

Sarah, listen to me.

Don't get mad. Please relax by accident.

I let the door open and Ari escaped.

But, but after you give me the tape,

I'll go find Ari, or

I'll just get you a new cat.

You can't just get me

a new Ari. It's my cat.

Sarah, can we please talk

about the cat and this later?

Whatever the heck is going on here. Look,

I just need you

to get me the copy, the tape, please.

Look, don't say anything. f*ck, please.

The cops think I k*lled someone.

That's why I need those tape.

The cops think you k*lled someone.

Yes. Can you say, don't say too loud.

What did you do? Excuse me.

What did you do? What kind.

Of freaking question is that?

How dare you ask me that

questions? I'm done with you.

I'm gonna call the cops.

Jasmin, what are you showing us here?

This right here. That's the guy. Look at.

Where did you get this picture?

Oh, I see. I it out yesterday.

You can't see his face.

This is not evidence.

What kind of places are you hanging out in?

There's a billiard table here. What,

what is this?

Okay, honey, there it was a bar's.

Important things to discuss here. Okay?

You can't use this as evidence. It's,

it's why not?

It, it some a hat. It's a.

Hat. And he's, oh,

you can't see his hand. His hand. Well,

What about those? Um,

A IG thing? Whatever

the ai, I think in order to use that,

you need to see a face.

How can a computer recognize

him if you don't see his face?

I don't know what any judge or police

or any kind of legal person

would laugh you out of.

Court with this. You've been watching

too many crime TV shows.

It's not that easy. Use your.

Brain.

Oh my god,

You guys are out of pickles.

Pickles at a time like this. What are you?

Pregnant pickles.

Just letting you know He wants pickles.

Oh, we're surrounded by crazy people.

Pickles. Oh,

Excuse me. Have you seen

this person right here?

Hey, have you seen this person? Hello?

This per, Hey,

have you seen this guy right here?

Excuse me. Excuse me. Have

you seen this guy? Hey, hey, hey.

Sorry. Have you seen this guy right here?

Oh God. Hey. Hi. Hi. Excuse me.

Have you seen this guy right here? Great.

Everyone's just freaking

passing by me. Ignoring me.

What up?

Hey, with, have you seen this guy?

Sh Lady? It's just the top of his head.

And I don't know what he f*cking is.

Well, you're still f*cking rude.

Eat sh*t doll.

Hey, have you seen this person?

I'm filming you. Why? Hello?

Why are you filming me?

I said I'm filming you. Why?

Because I'm filming you. I'm.

Just asking you to see this person.

I'm filming you. Goodbye.

Hey, have you seen this person?

Hey, have you seen this person right here?

Hey, have you seen this person?

Hey, have you seen this person right here?

Hey, have you seen this person? Hey,

this person.

Have you seen this person?

Excuse me? Have you

seen this person right here?

Excuse Me? Have you

seen this person right here?

Okay. Yo,

excuse me. Could I have a cigarette?

No, I don't have any left

cigarette's bad for you.

Can you f*ck off?

Yeah.

Oh, I'm gonna Google this name.

Oh, so they have a phone

number that I could call?

Hmm?

Nicotine ninja. Can I help you?

Oh, hey. Uh,

do you guys have any jobs available?

Uh, what type of jobs are you looking for?

I don't know. Anything. What do you have?

Uh, lemme put you on hold

just a moment and I will check.

All right. Thanks. This music

sucks. Well hurry out. Alright.

Hello. Hey, uh,

it turns out we have some

sales positions available.

Oh, great. I'm good at sales.

Alright. Um, we have availability right now

for an interview if you'd like to come over.

Now.

Sure. I mean, am I even dressed?

I don't even have a business to want.

Oh, that's fine. You can

show up in what you're wearing.

Are you sure about that? Absolutely.

Um, okay, fine. What's your address?

Oh, we can send an Uber to pick you up.

An Uber. Sure.

Hmm. I mean, okay. I guess. Alright.

No, it's our pleasure. Um,

can you tell us your address?

Sure. It is 589 Madison Avenue.

Alright. We'll have an Uber

to you in within five minutes.

All right. Thank you. You're

welcome. See you soon.

Alright, bye. And.

Uber, whatever.

Hello? Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi.

Hi. I am, uh, I'm, I'm Dr. Bruce.

I'm Jasmin. Nice to meet you. Yeah.

Um, how was your, how was your ride in? It.

Was amazing.

Excellent. Excellent.

Um, would,

would you like a cup of coffee or?

No, I'm good. Thank you.

Excellent. Um, so have you ever worked

for a startup company before?

Yes, I have. Uh, a long time ago.

Okay. Um,

So I don't see a ring in your finger.

No, I don't have one either.

You do not. Um, so, uh, Jasmin,

can you tell me why you think you were

a best fit for this role?

Um, I would have to say

that it was in the family. Mm.

Yeah. My family's all hardworking people.

Gotcha. Out of all the roles

that you've had in the past,

what would you say was your favorite?

Um, I would have to say when I used

to sell vacuum cleaners.

Oh yeah.

Did they, uh, were you in a showroom

or were you going door to door?

Yeah, I was going door to door,

you know, selling them

and, you know, then anyway.

Wow. That takes,

takes a lot of confidence. Yeah. Wow.

Um, that's impressive.

I thought that they stopped

doing the door-to-door stuff

back in the seventies.

Um, well, not really.

They still do New Jersey,

Pennsylvania, some other state.

Um, you know, I used to

destroy a couple of like, carpets.

But anyway, that's, that's the past. Oh.

Mm-Hmm. Okay.

Um, how would you say that your, uh, former

employers would describe you?

I would say very hardworking, independent,

responsible, reliable. Mm-Hmm.

Mm-Hmm. Excellent.

Uh, and what are your expectations

regarding pay for this job?

You mean money wise? Yeah.

Um, I would have to say, um, as soon

as it gave me a big percentage

of the sales, I'm good with it.

I'll work seven days a week,

night or day. Mm-Hmm.

Wow. Okay. Um, excellent.

Have you ever been convicted

of any felonies or anything.

Convicted?

Well, um, yeah. A long time ago.

You know how it is when you're young,

right?

You get in trouble all the time.

Right? Yeah, I get that. Absolutely.

By the way, you have beautiful blue eyes.

Thank you very much. Um,

you have lovely eyes as well. Oh,

Thank you. Tell

me, where do you see yourself in

about five years? Mm.

I would have to say

right there in that chair,

taking your spot.

And maybe,

Well, where am I?

She's alive. What the hell you doing to me?

Care for a cigarette?

No. Get off of me. What the f*ck this is,

You know,

it's real surprising how fast you found me.

I mean, considering that

obviously you're not so bright.

Tell really gray, more insult.

What are your f*cking freak?

I'm not a monster or a, or a serial k*ller.

I'm a businessman.

I started this company,

this private drug corporation,

the nicotine ninjas.

I mean,

we did pretty good the first few years,

you know, with the coin.

I remember the classics.

Uh, the, uh, tobacco titty twisters,

the Parliament Puffers,

and my personal favorite, the sugar sticks.

You ever heard of them? No.

Got me off of this. Well,

apparently no one else did.

We were failing as a

company. Sales were horrible.

So what did we do?

We decided to create this,

uh, amazing concoction,

this unbelievable idea.

The Cowboy k*ller.

It made one of our taste testers so sick.

He had to quit smoking for two years.

This guy, I mean, he was like a,

a two pack a day smoker, right, Joe?

Right? He's,

he was smoking since he was like 12.

So you're telling me that

you're bad at making cigarettes.

The ingredient in the cowboy k*ller

would make this taste tester so sick

that he would get sick just

by the thought of smoking.

We're in a million dollar hole here,

a million dollars.

So I thought instead of making a cigarette

that tastes great, let's change directions

and make one that cures smoking.

Nicotine ninjas has developed a cigarette

that not only will make you stop smoking,

but will cure every single

urge you have for nicotine,

for a small price

of three grand, one puff of this cigarette.

And you'll never want to smoke again.

The only problem,

the only setback that we have

with the Cowboy k*ller is that

it wears off after two years.

This taste tester,

he quit smoking for two years, and

after two years he started

smoking eight packs a day.

He died pretty quickly.

See, see, the, the, the big picture here is

to make nicotine ninjas go public.

All we need is that little nudge

to get us outta bankruptcy,

to, oh, by the way, uh,

there's going to be a

paycheck for you by the end of the week.

And, uh, this one's not gonna

bounce like the other one.

We, uh, we, we couldn't test it on animals.

I mean, have you ever heard of a horse

that smokes cigarettes? No.

No. Just get me off of.

This. Not, of course not.

So that's why we needed

unsuspecting lab humans.

And naturally we hired you

to test out nicotine addicted rats.

But unfortunately they

had a few side effects.

A few. Are you f*cking kidding me?

Just get this sh*t off me.

Get this off of me. Right now.

You're asking and you might be thinking,

you know,

why didn't we just k*ll you?

Yeah. Why? And throw you off the bridge.

Why didn't you then?

Because the answer is obvious.

We needed another test subject,

another lab human

to test out our brand new product.

I think we've figured

out all the kinks in this.

One.

So cold here. What the f*ck?

So f*cking upset about this.

Hello? Hello? Is anybody in there?

Hello? Hello? Hello. What's your name?

My name is Jasmin and yours?

I'm Susan. Oh,

thank God you're gonna hear me.

Where are you? I, I think,

I think I'm next door to you.

I think I'm in the next room.

Oh, okay. How did you get there?

I don't know. I was,

I was handing out cigarettes for free

and then I, my boss dropped me off here

and I don't, I don't know,

I don't know what happened.

I can't remember anything.

And where are you from? I'm from Baltimore,

Maryland.

Oh, wow. That's crazy.

Okay. I'm from New York City.

Oh, can you, um,

can you find a light switch or something

or find anything and see if

you can come and help me?

I'm, I'm stuck. I can't move or anything.

Well, my light here is on Do you have

your lights turned on there?

I just told you I can't see anything.

Geez. You don't have to be f*cking mean.

I'm sorry about that. I'm just,

I'm really nervous.

I've just been stuck here. I

have no idea for how long?

It could be days. It could be weeks,

it could be a month.

Okay. Well, let's see here. I mean,

I don't know.

They just, they just locked

me inside this room right here.

I,

I don't think if I could find anything here

to break the door.

See what you can do.

If you can just come next

door. I'm pretty short next.

To you. Okay,

I will. I, I'm, I'm sorry,

what is your name again?

Susan. Oh, okay.

Uh, like I said before, my name is Jasmine.

Um, I'm gonna try to help

you. Okay. Hi. Oh, let me see.

Hey Susan. I get off of me.

Off me.

Oh, please, please,

please get me outta here. Alright. Hi.

This is our newest drug.

Doc. Why

are you trying to get her to smoke? Huh?

You shouldn't be teasing our

schizophrenic patients. What.

Are you new Here?

Um, yeah, one week. Oh,

Gotcha.

Temps. I dunno. Anyway,

this we're just testing

to see if there's any side

effects,

but you're lucky you're the first one.

So let's just try to get this lit up.

Why are you choking her? Doc?

Doc, you alright, doc. You alright.

Oh my God. Doc,

you okay? You okay? Oh my God. My phone.

My phone. I gotta call

911. Oh God. Oh my God.

Somebody, anybody? Hello?

Oh, I'm in here. Hello? Anybody?

Yes. Hello, Susan? Yes, it's me.

It's me. I'm in here. Keep talking.

I'm in here. I'm in this room.

Susan. Oh yes. Thank God.

Yes, I'm here. Hello, Susan. Oh,

Yes. Yes.

Can you please turn the light on?

It is so dark in here.

Um, it's already on. What do you mean?

Um, yeah,

it's on. Where are you? I can't see.

Anything. I'm right here.

Oh my God. Are you okay?

Are you all right? Yeah,

I'm okay. I'm sorry.

Where are you? I'm,

I'm right here. Can you feel that?

No. I can't feel a thing.

I don't know what

you're talking about. Ugh.

How are you feeling? I,

I I, I guess I'm okay.

I'm a little groggy,

but my lungs are a little sore.

Okay. Ugh. I gotta figure

out how to get you out of here.

Wait, um, what do you mean I,

me, let me see.

I'll try to pick you up.

What I'm gonna see,

I'm sorry Susan.

I'll try to get help.

Oh great. Oh God. It's working

911. What's your emergency?

Hey, hey, listen to me.

I need to send some help right now. Please,

please, please.

These people are gonna k*ll me.

We're going to need your address.

I, I, I don't know yet the address.

I don't,

I don't know where I'm at right now.

Do you have any ideas?

No, I don't have any idea.

When I asked long story short,

I came here for an interview.

They sent me an Uber,

so I don't know the address.

Can you please, please, please hurry up.

They're gonna k*ll me. Is.

This your cell phone

that you're calling from?

No. It's not my, I mean, sorry.

No, it's not my cell phone.

It's the phone that I

just found the bathroom.

I don't have my cell phone.

They took my cell phone away from me.

We need your cell phone

to make sure this isn't a false emergency.

What, what kind of, listen,

just send someone,

I don't know, try

to track down the number

that I'm calling you from.

I'm sure you could do that. Can you please

hurry up? Alright.

Stay on the live. No, I can't come down.

They're gonna k*ll me. Do you

understand that? Oh my God.

Oh my God. Oh my God. They,

they knocked on the door.

They, they found my stupid crying place.

Can you please, please send some help?

Stay outta line. They're

sending someone over.

I can't stand the line.

They're gonna k*ll me.

Do you understand how

gonna take you Track me down.

Oh my God. Please, please help me. Help me.

They're gonna k*ll me. Do you understand?

They're gonna k*ll me. Oh

my God. Hello. Are you there?

Hurry up.

Out.

Shut up.

f*cking shut up. What are.

Doing Doc?

Whatcha doing with her?

I thought she was a mental

patient with schizophrenia. What.

Are you doing? We're

taking her to the hospital.

There's five bucks.

Go grab a cab and we'll see you Monday.

Ew. All right, sugar.

Ew. Oh God.

Hello. Hello. Have an

emergency. My boss is going crazy.

He's got this woman locked up in a trunk

and you're all tied up.

You gotta help. Please help. Come soon.

Stop. What? Doc, doc,

doc, doc. Joe, listen to me.

What the f*ck,

Joe? Listen to me. What the f*ck?

Listen to me. Whatever this is,

it's too much.

I'm not down with this anymore. I'll.

Give you your paycheck by the weekend.

Alright? I've been here

now for three weeks.

And where are my health benefits?

I'm walking around here without any health.

Benefits. Can't you see we are doing

great things here, Joe.

Oh my God. Look, this isn't cool.

This isn't finish. This isn't cool.

I'll see you at the cash machine.

Oh f*ck. Where you going Joe? Get her feet.

To the cash machine.

Get her feet, Joe. f*ck.

Shut the.

Ari.

Oh, Ari. Finally,

I get to do something good today.

Hey.

Hello. Police, police.

Anybody in here? Speak up. Police. Police.

Hello? All. Clear. Clear.

Hello, police,

speak up if you're in here. Come on. Clear.

Hello, police. Police. Clear in the back.

Watch your left. Hello,

police. Anybody in here?

Anybody speak up. Police.

I miss these things.

f*ck off.