02x19 - Halloween Episode I

[bunniefuu]

What will happen when 2 Classic Cinema

creatures clash in an All Star monster

mash in the cruelest costume contest

ever? Which superstar combo will survive

to sing again and what graveyard ghoul

will be overseeing this?Grave

situation.

Find out tonight on this

hair raising, spine chilling Celebrity

Deathmatch posted Halloween horror.

Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. I'm

Johnny Gomez. And I'm Nick Diamond. Ahoy.

Other shows may have their thrills and

chills, but we're the only one with the

kills, right? Oh, great and wise wizard.

That's right, Nick. And joining in

tonight's creepy fright fest is the

Scariest Man in the World Wrestling

Federation. The Undertaker. Hey, what up,

people? And I believe we have

another special guest, don't we, Nick?

We sure do. Johnny, My son,

Nikki Junior, say hello to America.

Nikki, hello to America.

Nikki's mom is still visiting her sister.

So, Nikki, spending Halloween with us.

We're going to have lots of fun tonight,

aren't we, Nikki? When are we going Trick

or treating? Sorry, pal, but I'm afraid

we're gonna have to skip it this year.

I've got a show to do. What? No, No, no,

no, no, no. Come on. Say, Nikki, how'd

you like to do some?Liberty interviews

tonight. Really. Yamina, Uncle Johnny?

Why not? Somebody's gotta do it. And

Stacey Cornbread's dead, so boy oh boy,

this is going to be the best

Halloween ever. Is a

scary costume. Why did you decide to be a

devil this year? Captain Dooley told me

too. Who's Captain Duty. He's my special

friend who lives in this box.

Isn't that cute and imaginary, friend?

This box is empty. Ohh no

no, that's OK. Maybe he went

to get a hot dog. Tonight's

festival of ferocity begins with two

of the world's most frightening

celebrities. Frankenstein's monster and

the Wolfman They've both taken time out

of their busy Halloween schedules to

settle once and for all who is the

meanest monster? And then in our main

event, superstar rockers kiss take on

their up and coming nemesis, Teenie

Popper. Pop stars In Sync, we'll find out

which musical style will. Playing

supreme. OK, let's go now. Nikki.

What? Is it funny? Can you

helping old, old boy. OK, quit

clowning around. If you're going to

interview In Sync, you best get

your ***** down there.

He's a special kid, Nick. Ohh, he's a

special. Alright. Say, Undertaker. May I

call you Undertaker? Sure, Nick. Kiss

versus unsync. Where's the smart money?

Well, it should be close. Although their

costumes give kids a definite advantage.

In Sync may have beautiful voices, but

they're going to have a hell of a time

busting through those. God. This is good

points. Let's go now to ace correspondent

Nikki Diamond Junior with In Sync in the

deathmatch parking lot. Now I'm going to

interview In Sync. Hello Insync. Are you

excited to fight KISS tonight, kid? Me

and the boys are really going to put

a hurt on these old fools and.

Goofy as devil suits, no offense. What's

in all those bags? Ohh those are our

costumes. Why should kids get to be the

only ones wearing protective outerwear,

don't you think?

You OK?

Giant.

Ohh man. Ohh I'd.

Of let's go to ringside where our first

fight is about to begin. He's probably

just coming down with something and here

come our fighters numbering his way

towards the right corner. Our hideous

example of what happens when man plays

God Frankensteins monster might get the

feeling of fans take these two for just

a couple of old movie. Characters, but

make no mistake, they are very

real and very dangerous. I Gomer

Pyle. Nice flat tile there. Ohh,

those fools. Folks. If there's one

thing the monster hates, it's teasing.

There's one other thing he hates.

Nick. What's that? Johnny he.

Fire.

Here comes his challenger, hailing from

the dark and misty Moors of old

England. It's the Wolf Man. That's the

Wolf Man. He looks like my accountant,

Mr. Lane. I know I'm supposed to

have transformed my now, but with

daylight savings and all, I'm afraid.

Full moon is not yet risen. I see. So

when can we expect this full moon

business? Well, it's tough to say, folks.

It's going to be a minute.

You don't feel so good. I want to

go home. Captain duties coming to get me,

Nikki. I said no.

Tell Captain Duty what to do. OK, Nikki,

I think you need to lay off the

candy bars. Now come over here and lie

down. Ohh, here Johnny, you

can send me the dry cleaning bill for

that magician suit. It's a wizard suit.

Listen, son, I don't have time to wait

for your crazy disease to kick in now. If

you don't sprout from Fang soon, I'm

going to hairball. I got your full moon

right here.

OK fellas, let's get it on.

Here we go folks, that fight we've all

been waiting for. Is it me or is the

monster looking a little stiff? Well,

keep in mind Johnny, he is made entirely

of sewn together body parts. That's

right, he's actually a bunch of steps.

The wolf that up too. If he's trying to

embarrass the monster, it's working.

Good deed from the monster. A

newspaper norful weapon against any

canine competitor. Get off me, man.

Wolf man.

Put my leg again and you'll get another

snout full of pepper spray Bills Lane not

taking any nonsense tonight.

Two fighters being very cautious here.

Sizing each other up, Ben Ohh

catches his opponent off guard as

a grave situation for the monster.

The Wolfman better watch his back.

Here comes trouble and the monster

lays into him with a graveyard

smash. These

classic creatures have resorted to some

classic weaponry, but the Wolfpack's just

too fast.

Frankenstein's monster seems to lack the

motor skills necessary for this type of

combat. The wolfman attacks again, and

this time he really got a piece of

him. Ohh, that's going to set the monster

back a bit.

What the hell is that bracket? Ohh, it's

probably just rats. We should put some

traps down. Lookout. Nick. I think the

wolf man's moving into the k*ll. What's

wrong with him? I'll tell you what's

wrong. That person is wearing off. He's

turning back into a non wolf man. He

ought to know better than to do that.

Are you able to continue, Mr. Lang? This

is a fight to the death, correct?

Correct. Well, since that man's made-up

of dead bodies, that means he's already

dead. So I'm the winner.

Makes sense to me. The winner is

this guy who was the wolf man.

Wow, the wolf man morphed back into

a human and uses his capacity for

reason to win this fight. It's a

technical knockout. Unprecedented Ladida.

I'm the winner. Sucks for you dead

guy. The wolf man's

rubbing it in.

Now the monster is the winner.

Two winners in one fight.

Incredible. Another death match first

here in.

He's possessed. Help. Undertaker, do

something. Hey, listen up, demon. This

here's the Undertaker. And I'm the only

evil guy on this show.

Not anymore. Look, if you got a problem,

take it up with me. Leave the kids alone.

Oh my God.

I'll do you one better. I'll kick your

satanic ***** right back to hell after

these brief commercial messages.

Welcome back folks. After a great first

fight, we've unfortunately suffered a bit

of a setback. Why Johnny? Why? I knew

I should have let him wear the Barbie

costume. It seems

that demon by the name of Captain Duty

has possessed Nick's son. But our friend

the Undertaker is here, and he's gonna

beat the duty out of him. The

Undertaker's not going to hurt my son, is

he? Johnny, That thing down there is not

your son. Man, I hope family Court

doesn't get wind of this. Hey, Captain

Doughty, get out of my son, you

*******. OK, Duty, come out of there

and fight like a man. My name

is due to Razmus Seven, son of

Satan. But you can call me Captain

Duty, and I know your real name.

What's? My name's not Mark. I'm the

Undertaker. You say So my Shut up,

shut up, shut up.

We're gonna do this. Fight my way. OK,

Undertaker, Mr. Duty, Captain, Captain,

dude, whatever. I want a good, clean

fight. And no speaking in tongues. I'm

a referee, not a translator. Let's get

it on. Well,

the Undertaker seems to have the height

advantage, but Captain Duty may have a

few tricks up his sleeve.

The Georgetown Armed w*r Slam. A

diabolical classic. Captain Booty has him

right where he wants him.

Good kick by the Undertaker. How

dare you kick, Captain Duty?

The Undertaker is really putting the

screws to the supernatural sleaze bag. No

offense. None taken, Johnny.

But wait. Oh my

God, is that it's

Bob Saget.

It's just a demon playing cruel mind

games. The Undertaker won't fall for

that. What is he doing? Hey, put down

the goobers and save my son, you bum.

Hang on. I'm sure the Undertaker has some

tricks of his own. Nikki, I know you're

in there. Talk to me. Yeah, I have

candy. Ingenious. The Undertakers

communicating. They're trapped in hungry

soul of poor Nikki Junior. Daddy. Why are

you Nikki? I'm up here, son. Come on,

kid. I know you're in there. Fight the

demon. Break free.

The Undertakers down. This fight might be

over. Johnny, did you RIP one? I think

it's coming from that confounded duty.

Look, the undertaker seems to be moving.

OK, Judy, I didn't want to have to

do this, but you're going down here.

Comes the Undertaker's signature move,

the Tombstone pile Driver. Damn it, man,

that'll snap Mickey Junior's neck. We

have no choice, Nick, and it just

might work. Please

don't hurt me. I promise not to be

bad. Don't listen to him. Push him away,

Johnny. That's my son in there. Makes you

got to trust me on this. Please let

me go, Mr. Taker. Please.

Don't think so.

The Undertaker's done it. He's taken

captain duty out of this fight and out

of Mickey Junior.

You got rid of me this

time, Undertaker, but Captain Duty will

return.

Dude.

What the hell?

And the winner is the undertaker.

Mickey, are you OK? What happened? Ohh,

you just bumped your head. Wow Daddy,

you smell like Doody. In a dramatic

finish, The Undertaker has literally

beaten the hell out of Nikki Junior

while retaining the title of Baddest guy

on this show, and now it's time

to play. Name that move. It

wasn't exactly Halloween, but costume

warrior Elton John delivered some painful

punishment to Ozzy Osbourne in a

move known as A the Crocodile

Crotch rock, B the Benny Bubba

Ball Breaker, C the Pennis Pummel.

The answer right after these messages.

Which ghastly move did costume clad Elton

John deliver to Ozzy Osbourne that got

him singing the Blues? If you answered a

the Crocodile Crotch Rock then you were

correctly able to name that. Welcome

back to the Celebrity Deathmatch, haunted

Halloween of Horror. How you doing there,

seller? OK, Johnny, we lost a good

popcorn guy, but I got my son back.

That's the important thing. Popcorn sells

itself anyway. Undertaker for

an evil guy. You're all right. If you

ever need help digging up a body or

something, I'm your man. Hey, thanks,

Nick. Daddy, can I get older? Can I

be a voodoo Prince? Will say, Nikki.

We'll see. Right now, let's go to

ringside where our main event is heating

up. It's rock versus pop as KISS. Kicks

on In Sync and here come our

rockers in the Red Corner. Hailing from

New York City, the hottest band in

the land, Kiss.

Ohh, that shrill, piercing squeal of

prepubescent voices can only mean one

thing In Sync is in the house.

As we saw before, In Sync was preparing

to compete with KISS using some costumes

of their own. Let's see what they've come

up with. Well, those look like Kitty

costumes to me. How are they going to

compete with KISS? I don't know, Nick,

but I'd be reluctant to write off these

shrewd youngsters too soon. OK, you guys,

I want a good clean rock'n'roll. Ohh,

nice, but First things first.

That's true, man. Donkey suit is down to

one. Hey, we haven't even started yet. I

thought this is supposed to be a clean

fight. Four on four. That's a clean fight

in my book.

Now let's get it on. The main event is

underway and the fighters are pairing

off. Joey looks real convincing in his

pirate costume. I don't usually say

things like this to kids who are age, but

I'm going to bury you like a bow.

No, that wasn't supposed to happen.

Real dude. But Rock is dead, and so are

you. With one swipe of a sword, Jean

Simmons loses an arm and an income. He'll

never play bass again, but look at his

teammate Peter Chris. He's kicking *****

literally.

This. Somebody help me, you little punk.

Do you realize you're messing with the

God of Thunder?

Then hang on, now that's the tongue

of a tired old rock star. Here

we go.

Sean Simmons is in real trouble, but

Peter Criss all over the kid with braids

and it looks like he's going to put him

away with the Super fly. Fans of Peter

Chris know that he was the cat of the

group. Not very

cat like Johnny Peter Chris takes himself

out of this fight early kisses really

struggling. I'll say check out Lance

hitting on Paul Stanley. Hey grandpa

makes you didn't know this thing was full

of rocks and they did just did you

know somebody better call doctor love for

this poor guy. It's my turn to

rock Pee Wee. Ohh, our folks. I've got

a little surprise for y'all tonight. I'm

going to slice up this whole bowl like

a holler loaf and Hanukkah.

Incredible. Paul Stanley has turned the

ring into a kosher deli, but here comes

Justin to put the hurt on Ace. Hey,

you won't freak. This clown is taking you

downtown space. Thanks. In no mood for

clowning around. Yeah, he's

blowing up Justin like a dirty towel on

laundry day. He's setting

him up and. Spectacular.

A move not seen since the Alive



Freely's comments that Cloud is crying on

the inside and the outside.

Unbelievable. Ace has conjured up his

magic acts and takes out his man

Gene Simmons, meanwhile, is still

struggling against Joey the Pirate. You

may have sliced off my arms, but

I'm not dead yet and maybe this

will help you.

Ohh cool. I love this part. You know

Johnny, that's really just corn syrup

with red food coloring. I don't think

this is part of the show, Nick. Ohh

Daniel, now I'm really mad. Look out

Johnny, here comes Ace to save his

friend. It takes 1

Frank in the love g*n. Thanks sis. I was

just about to put him away myself. No

problem. And a surprise hit by Chris

evens the score. Body

would you like to go for a ride? I don't

think so.

James theatrics backfire and Paul Stanley

is truly hotter than hell. So

Jean about that ride. Ohh Jean

looking for a way out.

So long pops. Oh Oh my mouse.

Same Me Johnny. I was wrong about

insane. This is the best costume contest

ever. Not bad for a bunch of

ex Musketeers. Looks like it's just you

and me, Ace. You, me and my

ex. Ohh Jesus

guitar paint. Need a tune up?

Come on you stupid piece of crap.

Ohh.

Ohh, here comes Jean.

And Chris's house. Hey, Jim, thanks

for dropping by. Ohh.

God kiss. It's the winner. Incredible.

Her last minute airborne as*ault from

Gene Simmons and In Sync is in history.

And what a terrific way to spend

Halloween. I think we owe special thanks

to our pal The Undertaker for helping out

in the booth. Yeah, and for saving Nikki

Junior Soul from that. Captain Doody

character. Hey, glad to do it, fellas.

Mikey, what's wrong? Is it that damn

demon again? Not to worry, Nick. This

time it was the candy bars.

Crazy kid or Celebrity Deathmatch?

I'm Johnny Gomez And I'm

Nick Diamond. Good fight, good

night.