- WOMAN: Okay. Go.
- Is this a video?
- Of course it's a video.
We need to commemorate
this moment today.
- Do we?
- Yes!
These are the videos, babe,
that we are gonna watch
when we are old and gray.
You're k*lling me right now.
Literally, I'm dying.
I'm sorry. Were you planning
on watching, like, the videos
of us dancing to "Brick House"
at our wedding?
- No.
- Were those the videos?
- Never gonna watch those.
- No, we are gonna burn those.
- That we should do.
- These are the moments, okay?
Today. Today is going
to be the day where you
and your incredibly generous,
loving, adoring...
- Yes. Super-hot, sexy,
very pushy wife.
- Thank you.
- But I'm just...
- Thank you. Thank you.
This is when we did it.
This is the day we made
that Ferris wheel your b*tch.
- It's really tall.
- Tell me how good it's gonna
feel when you get off that
and you're like, "Damn,
I did it and I didn't die,
because it turns out
that's a child's ride
and I'm a grown man."
[laughs]
Oh, it's gonna be
so sexy, babe.
- Is it?
- Yeah.
- There are lots of things
that are sexy
and we can see
if this all together
and just do those parts.
- No.
- That'll be good.
- No. This is important.
We're gonna do this,
and all that comes after
is, like, your reward.
- Bribery.
- Yeah. Is it gonna work?
You ready?
Let's do this.
- Oh!
- Oh! Charlie.
Charlie, where did you go?
All right.
I've lost him. He's gone.
- I'm here. I'm here.
I forgot where we put the car.
So...
- [laughs]
Are we gonna do this?
- Ah, yeah, let's do it.
- Yes, we're gonna do this.
I believe in you.
Are you having fun?
- Oh, no. Turn it off.
Turn it off. Turn it off.
Wow. Wow, wow. Wow.
Why are we up here?
Why are we sitting up here?
Why are you rocking it?
- No.
- Stop rocking the thing.
- No, you're doing so great.
- I'm proud of you.
- Thanks.
- Oh, God.
- I love you.
- I love you too.
when are we going down?
I'm gonna have a heart attack.
- No. Hey, listen. Nothing bad
is gonna happen to you.
Nothing bad
is gonna happen to you.
- Yeah? How do you know?
I guess.
- Well, because all of
that sh*t's already happened.
Nothing but blue skies, baby.
- I don't know if we have
to be in the skies.
- Right?
You just gotta adjust, let go.
[serene music]
[spraying]
[birds chirping]
[doorbell rings]
- Oh, am I glad to see you.
- Hey, Marsh.
- Hello, hello.
- You have come
to the perfect place
to work out all that crap
you're going through.
It's the desert, baby.
You know, they say that it
has a--a crazy healing magic.
I used to think
they only told that
to the tourists,
but you know what?
The longer I'm here,
the more woowoo I get. Right?
They say that there's water
that runs under the earth
and it creates some type
of crazy vortex with the soul.
But--Oh, and the light.
Wait till you see the light.
It--It's before it gets dark
and it isn't day,
but it--it--it
isn't night either.
But it--it's
this beautiful in-between.
- That's really nice.
- I can't wait
for you to see it.
- It's really pretty.
Thank you for this.
- Yeah. Thanks, man.
- Shh, shh. Listen to me.
You are my chosen family
and I would do anything
for you, my bird.
Now, you call me
if you need anything, okay?
Ricky's place is 10 minutes
from here
and I can be here in six.
- Don't do that.
- You've seen me drive.
- I know.
- Alright. I left you fruit.
- Oh, thank you.
- Good night, Marsh.
[serene music]
- Hey.
- Hey.
We're here.
- We are.
We are.
- Yeah. Like, really,
where are we?
There is really nothing
out there.
Hmm.
In the desert.
- Yeah.
- That's good. Yeah?
This is good.
- No.
No. No, it's not.
No, there's nothing f*cking
good about this, Charlie.
I can't f*cking stop
thinking about it, okay?
- Okay.
- It's just like...
The only thing
that is in my mind is--is...
- Yeah. Uh, I understand.
That makes
perfect sense, right?
But we can't--You know,
we talked about this.
We can't do anything
about that.
But we're here now,
so we're gonna focus on--
- How are you so f*cking calm?
How are you just acting
like nothing happened?
'Cause for me, it is
the only thing that I see,
and yet you're
so f*cking calm.
- I'm just--
We decided we were gonna work
through it. Right?
And--And we're here and we're
doing that. And that's good.
That's a step, yeah?
- Yeah, we're trying.
- We're trying.
- We're trying.
- Great.
So, what do you wanna do?
- What do--I don't know
what I wanna do, Charlie.
I don't know how to do this.
Okay? Why is it on me?
Why are you looking at me
like I am supposed
to have this perfect idea
of how to do whatever it is
that we're doing?
- It was your idea
to come out here.
So I thought maybe you had
another--But you don't.
That's fine. I know
what next is. Here. Here.
Look at this. Here.
- What?
- Energy. We're cleansing.
We're doing the--We're
gonna do the crystal thing.
That's how this works, right?
I'm pretty sure
that's how a crystal works.
- Is that how--
- Yeah.
- You think you're crystals?
- Yeah.
We rub it on
and then we hold it
and then we like, "woowoowoo."
Isn't that what he said
as Marshall
was about to "woowoo"?
- The "woowoo."
- So we got all the "woowoo,"
and we're just--we're here.
[doorbell rings]
- Uh...
Oh.
- What'd you get?
- Ah.
- Oh!
- Where's the f*cking garbage?
Where is it?
- Right there.
- So funny.
- Gee. Alright.
You didn't wanna read
the card or anything.
- No. No.
I don't wanna read the card
because I know
what that card says.
- Okay.
Did you hear the one about
the flowers that fell in love?
It was a budding romance.
[both laughing]
- Pretty good.
- Not funny.
- It's pretty good.
- It was not funny.
No, I don't get it actually.
Can you tell me--
- It's because
they're flowers.
When they're young,
they're called buds.
- Oh.
- And then--
Before they bloom. Yeah.
I'm glad I'm here with you.
[beep]
- Okay. Time's up. Coming in.
[giggles, sighs]
- Yes.
- You ready?
- Good feelings. I'm ready.
Ready. Woo. [laughs] Yeah.
- I love you.
- I love you. Okay.
- Okay.
- Oh, yeah.
1, 2, 3.
Mm. Mm.
- Yeah. [exhales]
Are you okay?
- Yes. Yes.
No, but, yes.
It's--Hey, it's--
We'll just, uh--
- We'll get 'em next time.
- Yes, we will.
- Yes.
- Yes, we will.
Go right--right back at it.
- Yeah.
- I can't--
You know
it's my favorite thing to do.
[both laugh]
You okay?
Yeah? 'Cause--
Oh, hey, hey, hey, hey.
[serene music]
[bird shrieks]
CHARLIE: Okay. I know no one
wants to hear people's dreams,
but this is not
your average sex dream
'cause we were, like,
in our eighties
and it was hot
and we're still flexible.
And it was awesome until I
caught my face in the mirror.
Right? And you're still old,
but I was back to my age now.
And this
is where it gets weird.
So I--I look--I look back
at you and it's still you,
but it's also--
Like, it wasn't you.
It was also kind of like
our neighbor Sherry.
You know, it was
like Sherry too. Anyway--
- You think this
is the best time
to talk about
your sex dreams, Charlie?
- Right. Sorry.
[sobbing]
Hey, babe.
Sorry for being such a d*ck.
Not a bad likeness, I think.
They nailed it.
I think it's pretty close.
[cries]
So impressive.
Let's keep going.
- Okay.
- I'm sorry.
I am really trying, you know?
- I know.
- Wow.
What a view, huh?
Oh, man. You wouldn't think
I would still be afraid
of heights, right, but...
Oh, yeah. Yeah.
That's--That's still a thing.
All of this really gives me
a new perspective, you know.
It's beautiful.
I mean, this is--
this is weird, right?
But it's-
it makes me, um, hopeful.
I don't know.
It's something about it.
I'm even, uh, like, excited
about--about what comes next.
You know, just the openness.
I know. It's--
- f*ck you. f*ck you.
f*ck you and your excitement
and the hopefulness
and the openness.
I can barely breathe.
And you get to be excited
about the expanse.
What is fair about that?
- Fair? You really wanna talk
about fair right now?
You have not stopped
blaming me
for something
that I did not mean to do.
Right? You think
I went out looking for this?
I didn't want this.
It just--It happened.
Alright?
Erin, it f*cking happened.
What if we just look at it
as a new beginning?
- No.
- Why?
- No.
- Come on. But why?
- Because I didn't want
a new beginning.
I don't need a new beginning.
You--You were my beginning.
We were so f*cking good.
We were happy.
We were so good.
We were
so f*cking good and happy.
You made me so--
And you ruined it.
You ruined it.
I don't wanna start--
- Erin, you are being such
a f*cking b*tch right now!
- Go away!
[breathing heavily]
- Did you hear about the woman
who got lost out here?
They never found her.
[crying]
- Oh, my God.
- Charlie.
I'm so sorry.
- Mm-mmm.
- I'm so sorry.
- No, no, no, no.
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
- I love you.
- I love you so much.
- I'm sorry.
- No. I am sorry.
You had every right
to be angry. I'm sorry.
Hey.
- Hey.
- Hey.
- I love you.
- I love you.
I was being a--
You know, I'm s-
- I love you.
- I love you too.
That did really hurt though.
[both laugh]
Oh, man, you're so strong.
[both laugh]
[pop ballad intro]
WOMAN: Whether I wake up
in the morning or noon
Whether it's right
or if it's too soon
No matter the rules
Can't listen to fools
You'll all be like
In the shape
of two spoons
And normally
it's you and I share a bed
[song continues]
- Hey.
- Hey.
- What if we just stayed here?
- I don't know. I might need a
better book. This book sucks.
[laughs]
- Seriously. What if we just
stayed out here in the desert?
Got weird,
turned into desert people.
- I don't think
I wanna be desert people.
- I think we can get
really weird.
- Yeah, you're selling it.
- It could be a thing.
- Yeah.
But that's not real.
- I mean...
Yeah, but it's not...not real.
I mean, what is this?
You know?
- Yeah.
- I'll do whatever this is.
I'm with you.
What? Do you--
Are you not gonna stay?
- Yeah, I guess I don't know.
- What? I--I--I just, um--
It's like f*cked up. I need...
I don't know.
It'd be nice
to have an answer.
- I agree with you. It would
be great to have an answer,
but I don't because
I've never been dead before
and I don't know.
Nobody told me how it went.
There was no, like,
instruction section
or, like, a onboarding
or like a--
- Someone you could talk to.
- Yeah.
There's no, like, supervisor
as far as I can tell.
- There's supposed to be
one major supervisor.
- I--Yeah. I mean, that's what
a lot of things would've--
- I'll do this.
I'll stay here with you.
- Babe, you're alive.
- Yeah.
But you're here.
[knocking]
- Erin? Sweetie?
I'm so sorry.
Please don't get up.
I just need to get something
I forgot in the closet
back here, baby.
- No, no, no, Ricky.
- I'm halfway to the club
and I'm like,
how am I gonna do
a Beyonc number
and I don't even have
a Beyonce wig?"
- Sorry. Sabrina wouldn't shut
the hell up.
- Sorry, girl. I just
really gotta take a piss.
- Shh, shh, shh, shh.
- Oh.
- No. No, no, no.
Where'd he go? Where'd he go?
Where'd he go? He's gone.
- It's okay.
Come here, sweetheart.
[Erin crying]
- Oh, it's okay.
Shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh.
I'm so sorry.
- I'm sorry.
- Oh, no, no, no, baby.
Don't you apologize.
Your heart is broken
into a thousand pieces.
- I think you get
to yell and cry
till you can't yell
and cry no more.
- Mm-hmm.
- Mm-hmm.
- But we gotta air
this room out
'cause it smells
like death up in here.
- Mm-mmm.
- Mm-mmm.
- What is wrong with you?
- Was that too hard?
Girl, please.
Look, I'm sorry,
but you're still alive, okay?
So you can yell and you can
cry and let it all out. Right?
But we're opening
the damn windows, okay?
Because this is...
- Ladies.
- Mm-hmm.
- I think I'm about to make
an executive decision.
- Oh, Lord.
- You know what?
The show is gonna have
to go on without us tonight.
- Girl.
- Yes, yes.
- Yes, girl.
- Let's get my makeup kit.
- ...looking for us
at the show.
Where are the girls
doing Destiny's Child
with the Beyonc wigs?
[all laughing]
- She ain't got no t*tties.
What are you talking about?
- That's what I call tasty.
- In a lot of native cultures,
they had something called
the third gender,
which was like us, right?
- Like the muxes in Mexico.
- Yes. Bless you, sweetheart.
And they were the priestesses
and the healers.
So guiding people
through their pain.
It's like in our blood.
- Girl, please. Listen.
I think it's just because
we know grief. Okay?
We always have really.
There's--You know,
that thing that just--
it makes us us--
what makes us so special.
It also brings us
the most pain.
- I think the only remedy
for the pain really
is to just embrace it
with every fiber of your being
and then go right over
the top of it.
I mean,
react to it all in excess.
I think that's the same
with you mourning loss.
That you have to assert
your presence
by bringing
even more life to it.
Okay? That's why we paint
our faces like this, baby.
That's why we work
our bodies the way we do.
It is to showcase
that we love ourselves. Okay?
- That's right.
- Yes, ma'am.
- To the women
and the strength.
- There we go.
- Come on, divas.
- Here we go.
- To finding strength.
- To finding strength.
- To finding strength.
- [clears throat]
- Oh, my God, baby.
- Hey. What do you think?
- It's very--
Yeah, there's a lot of it.
- So it's a lot?
I'm having fun. Is that okay?
- Yes. I'm super excited
you're having a good time.
You look k*ller.
- Thanks.
- I'm kind of in the middle of
something, if you don't mind.
- Yes. I'm sorry. Sorry.
- All right. Bye.
Woo! Yeah.
[disco playing]
- Okay.
She's almost ready, y'all.
- Whoo!
- Okay--[clears throat]
Ladies and...ladies,
please welcome to the stage
my newest daughter,
a special contribution
to this society.
Her first time in drag,
but not her last.
Please make
some backyard noise
for the lovely
and talented Ms. Princess.
Pinky Peach! Yes!
- It's all about love
- Oh, my goodness!
The things that you do
You only do for love
You sit by the phone
But time
makes you wait for love
Oh, yeah
It's all about love
You know
it's all about love
- Shake that tail feather.
- It's all about love
Do you live it?
It's all about love
It's all about love
It's all
about love
It's all about
love-love-love-love
It's all about love
[music fades]
- You gonna be
all right, sister?
- I don't know.
I don't know. I don't know.
- You know what?
You might not ever know.
You'll probably never
get over this.
I mean, how--how could you?
But you know what you will do?
You'll reconstruct your life
and you'll take your grief
and you'll sew it
into a little patch.
It's gonna make every dress
you wear from here on out
even more beautiful
than tonight's.
- We love you.
- [beep]
- Here we go.
Hey, what up, Ricky?
What up, Marshall?
- Hi, guys.
- Hi.
It's your two favorite
lame friends
with some weak-a*s news.
We're not gonna come.
We're not gonna be able
to come see you
in Joshua Tree this weekend.
We just--Just work stuff
really piled up
out of nowhere,
and we are so sorry.
We're just feeling
a little underwater.
So I think we're not gonna
come hang out with you guys.
And I know that's super lame,
but that's--that's just--
- You know what? No.
- Sometimes--
- Guys, that's not it.
I'm just gonna tell 'em.
They should know.
- I just didn't know
if you wanted to.
- I know. But I feel weird
not saying it, so...
Uh, we just got back
from the doctor
and found out
that it is a no-go again.
Uh, this time they said
my uterus is inhospitable.
- Anyway. Yeah.
- Uh, so I think--
I think it's the end
of the road for us and kids.
And...
- So we just feel
like we were probably
not great company.
Gonna be a little sad
and, uh--Yeah.
Didn't wanna subject you
to that, so...
not this weekend guys, but...
- No. I don't wanna think
about it that way.
We're so lucky.
We're so lucky.
- Yeah?
- Yeah. We have each other.
- We do.
- I love you.
- I love you.
- This is good.
- It's very good.
- Our life is good.
- Our life is really good.
- Don't be sad.
- Yeah.
- Yeah?
- Yeah.
- Yeah?
- Yes.
- I think we should go.
- Okay.
- Yeah?
- Yeah.
- Can we still come?
- This is a video
and I haven't sent it,
so we can just not send it
and then we can go
because they don't know.
- Uh, let's go.
- Okay.
- Let's go to the desert.
- Let's go to the desert.
- To the desert!
- To the desert!
[crickets chirping]
[clears throat]
- Charlie?
Mmm.
Charlie?
Mm.
Charlie?
[clears throat]
Hey.
Hey!
Charlie.
Charlie!
Charlie!
Charlie!
Charlie!
Charlie! Charlie!
Charlie!
Charlie, don't--Charlie!
Charlie! Charlie!
- Erin!
- [gasps]
- Hey, I'm so sorry.
Did I wake you?
- No! Where is he?
- I was trying to be quiet.
- No, where is he?
- Where is who?
- Charlie! He was here.
We were in the pool.
He was in the bathroom.
He was right here.
- ERIN:
Are you not gonna stay?
- CHARLIE:
I guess I don't know.
I've never been dead before.
- Charlie!
I can't do this without him.
I can't do this
without him.
I don't wanna do this
without him.
- Happy birthday
party day to you
Happy birthday party
to you
I hope you're having the
best f*cking birthday party
Of all time
Happy birthday to you
Hey. Hi, babe.
I'm happy you're celebr-
You're out for your birthday
and I'm hella not with you.
And that sucks.
I really wish
I could be there,
but I hope you're having
the best time.
I don't. That's a lie.
That's what
you're supposed to say.
But I don't really feel
that way,
if I'm being
perfectly honest.
I hope you're having
an okay time,
but, like, not the best time
'cause it would be better
if I was also there.
Uh, so that's...
Are we codependent?
That's what I was
thinking about.
And I just--
I'm gonna let you know
I am codependent,
and what I say to that is...
and? So? Right?
'Cause isn't that--
that's what we want, right?
Ain't it hella people in this
world just running around
trying to feel
like that, right?
Like, you want to be
with somebody that much
and we have that,
and then you label it
something like codependent
and that feels shitty.
But also, this is good.
This is really good.
'Cause we're supposed
to spend time apart
and be like--be ourselves.
And you right now with
your friends and having fun.
And I'm this me--
I'm now this me without you.
And this guy's cool.
Anyway, I'm--
I'm just, uh--Ev--
This--All I'm trying to say
is happy birthday
and I wish I was there.
And I love you so much,
and I hope you're having
a great day.
Love you lots. Delete
this one. Delete it. Bye.
[serene music]
[sighs]
- [phone rings]
- [answering machine beeps]
- MARSHALL: Hey, Birdie,
hope you're doing well.
Look, I'm sending
my masseuse over.
She's more
of a spiritual healer.
You're gonna love her.
She does the reiki
and brings the crystals
and the sound bath.
You name it. Just call me
if it's not okay,
but she'll--she'll be there.
- [thud]
- All right? Okay. Bye.
- Charlie?
Charlie?
[laughs]
Hey! Hey!
Hey.
No.
[screams] No! God!
Charlie. Charlie.
- [both yelling]
- What are you doing?
- [chuckles]
- Where have you been?
- Oh, babe,
my stomach was crazy. Wow.
- No, I'm serious.
Where were you?
- I know, me too.
You don't wanna be
anywhere near that. My God.
Just a--Just--Ugh.
I was making
awful noises and...
- Mm. This is getting
really difficult for me.
- It's not exactly,
like, easy for me, right?
You feeling okay?
You don't look good.
- Thank you. Thank you.
- No, you look--
You're looking
like you need to eat.
You're looking thin. Here.
It's a funny thing
about my current situation.
Weird perk. Unlimited bananas.
Super weird.
But--Here. Hold on.
- Stop it. What are you doing?
- Eat a banana.
- I don't want a banana.
- Erin, you've gotta eat.
- Stop. No.
- They're so good for you.
Here. Have a banana.
- What are you doing?
I don't want a banana!
- Erin, have a banana.
You need to eat.
You're not looking great,
and you should eat something.
- I don't wanna eat something.
I wanna know
if you are staying with me.
Are you staying here?
- Do you want me to?
Okay. I got it.
- I-
- No. Okay.
- No. Don't.
- Hey.
- No.
- Then this is how we do this.
Alright?
- What?
- Do it.
- No
- Babe.
- I don't want to.
- I--
I think you do.
- Stop.
- You have to help me.
- No.
- Okay.
- No.
- There you go.
- No. No, I don't want to.
- Here. Babe.
- I don't want to.
- But you kinda do.
- No.
- Here. See? It's easy.
Here you go.
- Stop.
No. No.
[muffled cries]
No, Charlie.
Charlie. Charlie!
Charlie! Charlie!
Charlie!
g*dd*mn it.
[gasps]
Don't do that.
I am not ready for you to go.
[doorbell rings]
- Uh-oh.
- No.
- Hey.
- Mm-mmm.
- Oh, but, madam,
your massage has arrived.
- No.
- Come on.
- No.
- You love a massage.
Go get your massage.
Come on. Go get your rubdown.
- [beep]
- Ugh! Babe.
It's one of those days, man.
You ever just wanna take
a flamethrower
to your entire office?
I mean--God.
No, of course you don't.
You don't
because you are Charlie
and you're sweet
and kind and loving
and everyone just adores you.
But I am just--
I'm not that nice. I'm not.
Ugh! And Barbara was making
her presentation this morning.
I was like, I am just gonna
burn this whole place down
to the f*cking ground.
And I know.
I know arson is excessive.
That feels like a lot.
And so maybe
it's a career change,
but then I can hear
your voice being like, "Oh,
you don't like any of your
jobs," and you're not wrong.
I don't. And so--I don't know.
On the way home, I was just,
like, thinking about it all
and I just kept coming back
to "Say Anything."
You know?
That movie with Lloyd Dobler.
Lloyd f*cking Dobler.
Lloyd Dobler was a kickboxer.
The sport
of the future, right?
But he didn't identify
as a kickboxer.
And when Diane Court's dad
at the end of that movie says,
"Lloyd, what do you wanna do
with your life?"
He was like,
"I wanna love your daughter.
I'm good at it."
And that--that there,
that's the thing.
'Cause I am just like
Lloyd Dobler, right?
I am really good
at loving you.
Like, that is--
that is it for me.
And I think
about my life goals
and I'm just like, I want
to have more sex with Charlie
and I want to travel
the world with Charlie.
And I want to see all the
plays and go to all the shows
and, like, watch all
the stupid TV with Charlie.
And I want to eat the most
delicious food in the world.
And I want to have all
the banana splits in the world
with you, Charlie.
And I wanna adopt
a dog with you.
And I wanna learn
how to do Sudoku or Suduku
or whatever that puzzle is
that I can't figure out.
But I want to with you.
I just wanna do it all with
you because I'm good at it.
And that's what I wanna do.
And I just--I really felt
the need to tell you that
even though you're gonna
be home in, like, 14 minutes,
which I'm very excited about.
In fact, I'll give you
a sneak preview.
I love you. See you soon.
- Okay, Erin,
take a big inhale...
and release it down.
Good.
Good.
One more time.
And release. Good.
Okay. Is that pressure okay?
- Mm-hmm.
- Yeah, you're holding on
to so much.
Take a deep breath and let go.
- You're holding on too tight.
You need to let go.
[serene music]
[moaning]
Just let go.
[moaning]
- Oh! How was your massage?
- Uh...
you tell me.
- Why are you asking me?
- Don't do that.
- What?
- No. Don't.
You're f*cking with me
right now. Stop.
- What? I don't know
what you're talking about.
This is getting weird, right?
Not knowing what's real
and what's not.
- Are you--
Are you trying to tell me
that that didn't just happen
in there?
- What do you think happened?
- I think you
just f*cked my brains out.
- Hmm.
- It was amazing.
- What you writing?
- Nothing.
- Whoa. Now we have secrets?
- No. Whatever Charlie.
It's--Like, this is for me.
This is mine. It's okay
if I have something
that is just mine.
- Oh, okay. So we just had,
like, some Whoopi Goldberg,
Demi Moore, Patrick Swayze
"Ghost" threesome moment.
But you're--Now you're shy
about your diary?
- What? No, Charlie.
Charlie, stop. Charlie. No.
Stop.
- Seriously?
Mm-hmm.
[clears throat] Let's see.
- Charlie.
- "God, it felt
so good to c*m."
- Stop it. Stop it, Charlie.
- "Release on so many levels.
I feel guilty. I'm gonna--"
You didn't feel that guilty.
I was--I remember. [laughs]
"Is this my life now?
Am I going to stay
out here in Joshua Tree
and have sex
with my dead husband
through whacked-out
desert healers?"
- Charlie.
- "f*ck. What is happening?
Am I losing my mind?
But I liked it."
- It's my journal, okay?
It's not supposed to be read.
It's mine.
- I get it. I totally get it.
And I don't know what to say.
- I'm sorry.
- You're not the only one
losing someone.
And you're not
the only one missing someone.
Do you have any idea
what I would give
to live out the rest
of your life with you?
You know how much it hurts me
to know that you
are going to keep on living
and having experiences
without me?
f*ck, man. We were supposed
to do those things together.
That was the plan, right?
And I get it. I get it.
It sucks not knowing.
But you know what?
I don't know either. Okay?
I don't know. I don't know
what happens after this.
I don't know what happens
to me without you.
Okay? I don't know
what happens...
next.
I don't know what I am.
[serene music]
- What are you doing?
- [doorbell rings]
- Gotta get her outta here.
That's why I wanna see if-
Let's get her out,
have some fun, you know.
- Hi.
- Ooh.
You're gonna need pants.
- Okay. You'll ride with me.
- You know what? I got this.
Let me go.
I'm gonna let Jesus take
the wheel. Huh?
- Alright. That's what
I'm talking about. Yes.
- I'm going
to let Jesus be my copilot.
- All right.
- [Erin squeals] Let's go.
["Happy Trails" intro]
Happy trails to you
Until we meet again
Happy trails to you
Keep smiling until then
Who cares about the clouds
when we're together?
Just sing a song
and bring the sunny weather
Happy trails to you
Till we meet again
This is fun.
- [phone ringing]
- [thud]
Are you not gonna stay?
- Do you have any idea
what I would give
to live out the rest
of your life with you?
- There's nothing f*cking
good about this, Charlie.
- ...and you should
eat something.
- You f*cking stop.
- You need to eat.
- Are you staying here?
Do you how much
it hurts me to know
that you are going
to keep on living
and having experiences
without me? f*ck!
- Charlie!
It's like the only thing
that my brain goes to.
It's the only thing I see.
- We were supposed
to do those things together.
- He was right here
this whole time.
- I don't know what's next.
And I don't know
what happens tomorrow.
Until we meet
Again
- Erin! Stop!
[thud]
[serene music]
- Oh, wow.
Yikes.
Eww.
[sighs]
- There she is.
- Oh, my God, Mom!
- My girl.
- Mom, what are you
doing here?
- Marshall told me, honey.
You hit the wall?
- I hit a wall. I hit a rock.
- Please, let me look at you.
- This was all an accident.
- Shh, shh, shh.
Let me look at you.
- I'm fine.
- Darling, you're not fine.
- I am. I'm okay.
- Oh, please.
Give me your bag.
Give me your bag.
Now, I am going to take you
out for the afternoon.
- No. No. I'm okay.
- Yes. Yes, I am.
We are going to have fun.
You can be miserable
and still have fun.
I do it all the time.
What are you wearing?
- I just went to the store.
- It's okay. It's okay.
I'm sure
it's appropriate somewhere.
You have to go change.
I'm sorry. You cannot
wear that ever again.
Just a note from Mother.
- Okay.
- Thank you.
- Okay. Okay.
- Alright. I'm here.
- Okay.
- Okay. Go ahead. Go ahead.
- Hooray. Diane's here.
- [country music playing]
- [bell jingles]
- Oh, this is fabulous.
Isn't this fabulous?
Don't you just love--
Oh. Oh, God, darling.
Look. Look.
Remember your bird collection?
Did you do that do do ?
- Melissa had
the bird collection, Mom.
- Oh.
Well, okay.
Honey, did I ever tell you
about that TWA flight
your father was almost on?
- Nope. You did not.
- Well, it crashed.
- Jesus Christ, Mom. What?
- Yeah, no, no.
It was one of your-
- How have I not heard
this story?
- Timing is everything.
I'm telling it to you now.
Your father was on one
of his, you know--his many--
Oh, my God.
Mondale. h* h*. Boy.
So, your father was on one
of his many business trips.
I say goodbye to him
in the morning.
I went to the office
later in the day.
I'm looking.
Everybody's gathered
around the television set,
and I say, "What's going on?"
And it seems
that flight whatever,
the one your father
always took to Tulsa, crashed.
- Oh, my God.
- Yeah.
- Oh, my God.
- Yeah. No. Awful. Terrible.
But--And, um--
And this
is the really crazy part.
There was just--
just a second--
just a second there
where I was excited.
Yeah. I know. I know.
But I was--
I was excited because--
because I just--I could see
this whole new future
in front of me.
Well, then your father called
and he'd been pulled back
into the office.
So he missed the flight.
He wasn't on it.
And, well, I was relieved.
- Oh, thank God.
- No, no, no, darling.
I was relieved.
And I was happy. So happy.
But I--
There was just a part of me
that was bummed.
- You were bummed?
- Bummed.
- You were bummed that dad
didn't die in a plane crash?
- No, no, no, no.
I wouldn't--No.
It was the future.
- I know what you're doing
right now, but I just can't.
- I didn't see
the future anymore.
I had no--I--
I had no future anymore.
- I can't. I'm gonna--
I gotta--I'll be in the car.
[bell jingles]
- I--Well, I thought
that was a good story.
[ballad playing on radio]
- Understand
The way
you looking at me now
This is my part. Ready?
Baby, there is
no peace of mind
Just because
I knew all the time
I've done it
the way that I feel
Ooh, baby
It was really real,
real, real, yeah
I knew
All along
Yes, I did.
I knew
All along
[song stops]
- Thank you.
- Listen, darling.
I never told you
the real reason
why your father
and I got divorced.
[scoffs]
- It wasn't because you
were bummed
that he didn't die
in that plane crash, Mom?
- No.
- It feels
like a red flag to me.
- Oh, come on.
- It feels like maybe...
- Stop.
- ...things weren't great.
Erin, your father
and I divorced
because he had an affair. Yes.
- What?
- Probably one of many.
Boy, I'll tell you, darling,
you think you know them.
You love them. You trust them.
And--Oh, well.
- This is taking a turn here.
You hear what's happening?
- Oh, come on now.
There must have been times
when you thought Charlie--
- What?
- What you trying to say?
- Darling.
- What you trying to say?
- Men think they have
gold-plated penises.
- Oh, my God! Mom!
- There's no stopping them.
- Stop!
- Alright.
- Stop it!
I cannot with you.
- Oh.
- God!
- Erin!
- Oh, God.
- CHARLIE: You never liked me.
- I told you.
She never liked me.
- You never liked him.
- It's not true.
That is just not--
Everybody liked Charlie.
He's handsome. He's charming.
He's black and that's it.
- Mother!
- But you--
you, who worshiped
your father, deified Charlie.
You deified him.
And maybe that's not
the truth of who he was.
- Truth of who I was?
How would she know
the truth of who I was?
You didn't even know me.
- You didn't know him, Mom.
You didn't know him.
You decided
since the day we met
that what, because he was
so handsome and charming
and because he loved me,
that all of a sudden
that made him some kind
of piece-of-sh*t bad guy?
- No. Stop this.
This is not what's going on.
- What then, Mom?
What? What is it?
- This is just--
It's just f*cking crazy.
- This is insane.
- Look, sweetheart.
Please, please listen to me.
All I am trying to do
is open your mind
to looking beyond Charlie
so that you can move on.
- It's been a month.
- It's been a month.
It's been a month.
Listen. It's fine.
You can vilify dad
all you want. He's alive.
But Charlie--
Charlie is dead, okay?
An artery in his brain
just decided to go,
and he's gone now.
But our love--
our love was huge.
It was big. It was
a once-in-a-lifetime love.
And that is just something
that you'll never understand.
- No, my baby.
- I don't know what to do.
- My baby. Don't. Don't.
Don't. Don't. I do understand.
I do understand. God.
I used to feel that way about
your father. I did. I did.
And you, my sweet,
beautiful child...
are so beautiful and so young.
And it's a long life.
- CHARLIE: Ha!
- Think about your future,
darling.
You can't hide out
in the desert forever.
You just can't. Come home.
Please, maybe me see
a therapist.
- Oh, my God, Mother. No! No!
- Let me help you.
- CHARLIE:
I knew all the time
That we can be friends
On down the line
And, baby,
there is no peace of mind
Just because
I knew all the time
That I've done it
The way that I feel
Ooh, baby
It was really real,
real, real
I knew
All the time
Yes, I did
I knew all along
[grunts]
- Charlie!
- Did you hear
about the woman
who got lost out here?
They never found her.
- Take a deep breath
and let go.
- You'll probably never get
over this. How could you?
- Charlie?
- You're holding on too tight.
Boo! Hey. [laughs]
You need to let go.
It's okay.
Everything's gonna be okay.
Hey, you're fine.
I'm right here.
Erin. Erin, it's okay.
Hey, hey, hey. Hey, here I am.
[whimpers]
- Charlie!
[Erin screaming]
[sobbing]
[crickets chirping]
[crying]
- Birdie.
[crying]
- Okay. Okay.
- [crying continues]
It's okay. It's okay.
You know, getting sober...
was one of the hardest things
I'd ever done in my life.
And I came out
in the eighties,
so that probably explains
my lack of sobriety.
It's all tangled up, I'm sure.
It's just--
I couldn't imagine...
staring life right in the eye,
just me,
with nothing holding me up.
And it was gonna k*ll me.
And I didn't wanna die...
because life is just too
f*cking beautiful, sweet girl.
I don't know the answer
that is right for you.
Only you know that.
You need to find it.
You cannot continue
to slip away.
[serene music]
- I have to confess something
to you.
I don't like your mom
very much.
[laughs]
- I knew that.
- I don't.
She is
a self-righteous lunatic.
- Yeah, she is.
- But she was right.
I cheated on you.
A couple of times.
Like, a lot of times.
And, um--
I don't know.
It was just there and...
it was so easy
and you were so hard.
And I just--Listen. You can't
be laughing right now.
I am literally baring
my soul to you.
And you should
be furious, so...
- No.
No. No.
I know what you're doing.
I don't know
what you're talking about.
- You're full of sh*t.
You're a terrible liar.
You're a terrible liar.
I see you.
I know that you are trying
to make it easier for me,
but don't do that.
I know you. I know you.
You're a good man.
And you love me.
- And I love you.
I love you so much more
than I ever thought was even
possible to love somebody
the way I love you.
I also know...
that I have to walk away.
I have to be the one.
I had it wrong
this whole time.
I was worried.
Were you gonna leave
or were you gonna stay?
You can't leave.
It's me. I have to be
the one to move on.
But it's not
'cause you're a bad guy.
It's because I lost you.
And it's gonna
f*cking k*ll me...
for a little while.
But I'm gonna be okay.
And I might even be
a little excited.
Is that okay?
- Yes.
Yeah, it's okay.
- Yeah?
I love you.
- I love you.
[kisses]
[guitar ballad intro]
MAN: Whoa
It's a long way home
And this road,
it's full of obstacles
It's taken me
a little while
To see
That you've been by my side
this whole time
With me
You've been with me
Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh
Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh
Where do we go from here?
So show me something
It's not very clear
It's taken me
a little while
To see
That you've been by my side
this whole time
With me
You've been with me
Ooh, ooh
You've been with me
Ooh, ooh
You've been with me
Ooh, ooh
You've been with me
Ooh, ooh
You've been with me
[song ends]
[serene music]
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