- [TV Announcer] Lots of exciting action
and fun for everyone.
When the world's only boxing robots battle it out.
- Let's go!
- [Announcer] Hey, Monsterites!
It's time for part two of our thrilling season finale.
It's rock 'em versus sock 'em in the Monster Garage.
[Dwayne laughs]
[whistle blows]
- [Narrator] Last week we knocked out days one through four
but not without a fight.
When we left this fabricating fracas,
it was just starting to get ugly.
[engine roaring] [heavy metal music]
- Can you strap your car to it?
[engine roaring]
- [Narrator] A friendly rivalry between competitors
transformed into a w*r of words and intimidation tactics.
- We can't hear you!
- Take it back to kindergarten.
- [Narrator] The cool and confident Red Rockers
were yet to hit a snag.
Their solid roll cage is almost built.
Their weapons are taking shape
and all engines are firing at full power.
Across the room,
the boisterous Blue Bombers
are learning a thing or two about tubing,
but remain plagued by battles amongst themselves.
- You put your- - I'm talking! I'm talking!
- I wanna listen. - I am talking.
- I can tell you are. - All right?
- Now you're screaming. - This is all, no, no.
- Ah! - Despite the conflicts,
the Bombers build the base of a steel outer shell
and position themselves
within striking distance of an upset.
- They don't know who they're messing with!
Snap 'em in two! Rip 'em apart!
- [Narrator] For Jesse, it's a battle just to stay sane.
- I think all these people as a whole
at one time or another
in the last two years gave me a headache.
- [Narrator] Join us now as Jesse
and his g*ng of maverick mechanics
rip, grind, and burn,
transforming ordinary street vehicles
into monster machines in the "Monster Garage."
[heavy metal music]
♪ Monster
♪ Monster Garage
♪ Monster
♪ Monster Garage
♪ Monster
♪ Monster Garage
♪ Monster
♪ Monster Garage
♪ Monster Garage
- [Narrator] This week's challenge
is part two of a monster melee.
It's the producers' pick blue team
versus Jesse's choice builders in red.
Each scrambling to create rock 'em sock 'em themed Scions.
- You knocked my block off!
- [Narrator] To battle in a winner take all death match.
- Ah! [laughs]
[heavy metal music]
- [Narrator] With pride on the line,
they'll battle before mega band Slayer and a live audience.
[crowd whistling] [crowd cheering]
The rules?
When complete the monster machines must appear to be deadly.
Each team can spend no more than 5,000 bucks for parts.
Each crew has seven days and nights.
The first day they designed.
- We're just gonna have an old fashioned car fight.
[engine roaring]
- [Narrator] The next five, they build.
- It's split to two. - Well.
They don't know how to use the tools.
How can they build a car?
- [Narrator] Then on the seventh day, they fight!
[air horn blares]
[metal clanging]
[dog barking]
The champions take home
a $6,000 Jesse James signature Mac Toolbox
and the clock starts now.
[metal clanging] [glass shatters]
- [Announcer] In the blue corner,
battling for the Bombers,
we have grease vixen Crystal Stern,
in your face fabricator Eric Sterling,
kooky kindergarten teacher Shep Ginsburg,
fresh master Jason Jessee,
metal artist Jim Day,
and for the third time on "Monster Garage," Tombstone.
[heavy metal music]
[bell clangs]
And weighing in for the red team,
queen of the welding torch, Lisa Legohn,
squirrel face, Dwayne Youngin,
Mike, I can build anything, Stapleton,
demolition derby dame, Cindy Reginbald,
NASCAR engineer John Babek,
and with the weld in his eye, Wink Eller.
[heavy metal music]
- [Narrator] Back to the garage.
[bell clangs]
Day five, only two days left to build
yet both teams are still unarmed.
The Red Rockers go on the offensive.
Their two prong attack
starts with spinning chains of destruction
powered by an auxiliary engine.
It finishes with an inertia ram that will thrust forward
and knock the Bombers' block off.
- [Crew Member] This thing's gonna be like a weed eater
on steroids, man. - Yeah!
[Dwayne laughs]
- [Eric] I'm gonna make sure
that I'm working for my safety at this point now.
- Nice. - Because they got,
we gotta get this pipe out.
They're gonna get this thing welded up.
Jason Jessee and I are gonna wrap this whole thing down.
Figure out my escape plan.
Protect the bottles on this side
with this good stuff right here.
- [Narrator] Adhering to California helmet laws,
Jason Jessee is working safe.
[metal clanging]
It's the Bombers' turn to test their engine.
[engine roaring]
- [Crew Member] Is that your engine or the neighbor's?
Somebody go see if that's really their engine.
[engine roaring]
- I think they got it running, boys.
- Yep. - Hooray for them!
- Yeah! - What's up?
- Yeah, for the blue team! - Cool, buddy.
- [shouting] Run, run, run!
[metal clanging]
- I gotta say they got it running but it's just running.
[tires screech]
- I can't wait to crash into them.
- I've been bit by a rattlesnake.
I've had three heart attacks in the last year.
I don't think that car
has got what it takes to k*ll me.
- We know what we're doing.
No one may believe us but we do.
[dramatic music]
- Shep.
- Change that, right?
[metal clangs]
- I don't know how to describe him.
- This is where Professor Gins
works as a kindergarten teacher.
- In his eyes, he's the coolest dude in the world.
You know, he's like, "Rock, I'm Shep man!
"Professor Gins, I rock!"
♪ Jesse's going fly around that track ♪
I know what I am
and if I annoy someone, well fine.
Don't hang around with me.
[electric guitar music]
[garage door rumbles]
[tool clanging]
Where the hell is the cable?
I see the battery.
- [Narrator] Like medieval armorers,
the Red Rockers carefully assemble
their spinning wheels of destruction.
[metal clanging]
- Whoa!
- [Narrator] The red team's chains are rattling,
but it's the blue team whose chain is rattled.
- I think what they got is pretty dangerous.
It's bullwhip, okay?
That's what you do.
You swing around,
you gonna stand next to somebody swinging a chain?
I think you're smart enough to walk outta the room.
- I mean I'm afraid they're gonna grab that,
wrap their chain on the unit
and then pull the whole thing
[glass shatters] down with the chain.
- [Eric] I'm afraid
they're gonna grab the other hand, right?
- Because that's what they're talking about.
They're saying, well, the chain will wrap around and grab it
and then we'll floorboard the car and rip it off the car.
- [Narrator] Jim fights back
with an anti-chain defense mechanism.
- Oh, baby!
Serrated edge.
- These are gonna be the protection for these cylinders,
but they're also gonna be teeth.
So when you go up, if you catch the head inside of 'em,
it'll grab the corner of the head
and just twist it right off.
- Cool, it's all about ripping that car apart.
[metal clangs]
- [Narrator] Once again,
Wink remains undaunted by the red's new bite.
- It's not gonna break the chain.
It's not gonna bend the wheel, you know?
And the other one will still work.
Even if this one got caught up and it quit,
the other side's still gonna work.
- [Narrator] There's a strange sound
on the Blue Bombers' side of the garage.
Lots of tools in action.
Everyone is working,
at least for now.
It's business as usual for the Red Rockers
as they continue to reinforce their vehicle.
[hard rock music]
- I'm getting worried now.
I mean, you know,
from the experience I've gotten on previous builds,
we're at the point now where we don't have time
to walk outside to have a cigarette.
- [Narrator] There's 32 hours left.
The Rockers are moving like a Swiss clock
while the Bombers are more like Swiss cheese.
- [Crew Member] I'm sick!
- [Narrator] Their performance is full of holes.
[audience laughing]
- I need to take a secondary break
and count for 10 seconds
before I kick 'em all in their-
[rubber squeaks]
- [Narrator] And they're not very happy
with their wannabe Swiss Miss.
- Want me to try it again?
- [Crew Member] Can you do it one more time and square it?
[hard rock music]
- It used to be like in the old days,
like all the car magazines,
all the old gas station calendars
have like a naked girly on it
and I like that aspect of it a lot.
- I don't know what her deal is.
I haven't got her figured out.
I haven't been around her too close.
- [Crystal] I see it as kind of a joke.
It's like you guys like use it while you got it.
You know, just have some fun.
- Okay. - Right now
is not the time to be a ring girl.
[hard rock music]
- I should go put on a dress and hold the ring card.
- I'll show you. - Please, please don't.
- [Narrator] Creativity takes many forms
in the Monster Garage.
- Look at that thing.
Okay, okay, look.
[smooth rock music]
[eagle screeches]
- We're all smart people that are are a little crazy,
[crew laughing]
you know, so when someone starts acting crazy, you go,
"Oh dude, I know where you're at!" [laughs]
[engine revving]
[metal clanging]
- [Narrator] Eric shows off
his tool handling opposable thumbs.
[metal clanging]
- Yes. Good, good, good. - Two more.
[chimpanzee screeching]
- [Narrator] With only a day and a half left before battle,
it's still anyone's game.
The Red Rockers' buttoned up approach seems to be working
but the wild card Blue Bombers aren't about to give up.
- Are we gonna make it Jesse? - [bleep] no.
[crew laughing]
- You better watch it.
You're gonna wind up having to eat your words this time.
- [laughs] No, I'm not.
- [Narrator] Monster Garage factoid.
A knockout punch works
because the brain collides with the skull
causing the nerves that control consciousness
to stop working.
If a punch is hard enough,
the brain will strike the skull twice.
♪ Monster
♪ Monster Garage
- [Announcer] We're back in the Monster Garage
for the back half of day five!
Let's get back to the action!
- [Narrator] Jesse gets back to work on the heads.
He needs to attach them in such a way
that any simple vibration won't knock them off.
- This is gonna be tacked so you gotta bust the head off.
Each of 'em will be tacked in four same places.
So because I'm worried about it vibration and stuff,
triggering the mechanism then it's in with the flute.
Yeah, so this way it's welded on.
You actually have to knock the head off the opponent.
- [Narrator] The head is secured to the neck
with four tack welds.
This will be the weakest link on the target,
allowing the head to snap off with a direct blow.
[metal clanging]
- It's gonna take a significant blow
to get your head knocked off, so.
- Eric. - Mike.
- Well you can mount it as solid as you want to that plate
but don't mount anything else
'cause I just tacked both of them the same, four corners.
- This right here as well is the same.
- Yeah, just weld all you want
to that quarter inch plate and then leave everything else.
- [Narrator] Jesse's simple instructions
for attaching the head leaves Wink room to bend the rules.
- Let's get some six inch bolts.
Weld some plates onto the roll cage.
Run the six inch bolts through with flat washers, springs,
and through the plate.
That way when they hit it, look, it's gonna be strong.
We'll put long springs on it, it'll bend over, come back.
- If we put springs down there at the bottom.
- Put long ones on there.
See the thing about it is
it'll bend that thing down like this.
It'll spring right back up.
- Springs or no springs,
he may not let us put springs on it.
- [Wink] Didn't he just say
we can mount it however we wanted to?
- Well, all you want is plate
and then leave everything else alone.
- [Narrator] The Rockers aren't the only ones
with a trick up their sleeve.
Eric wants to give his team a push button chance of winning.
- We picked up our remote system.
We're all on the team too.
They said we couldn't be in the car.
They never said anything about who has to control everything
so the driver could control it and we can.
- [Narrator] A remote actuator for the punching mechanism
will allow the blue team to punch more precisely
and it will free up the driver
from having to activate the switch.
[punches thudding] [hard rock music]
Tombstone cuts the pole that will hold their punching arms.
[heavy metal music]
- Hey, they're gonna end up going like this
and you're gonna probably build a box right around that.
- [Crew Member] Sounds great.
[metal clanging]
- g*n box.
What do you think?
- Wow. - Instant boxes.
It's like paper but yeah. Nice, strong.
- Amazing. - And they'll be much stronger
than if I made 'em in separate pieces, so.
- [Eric] Yep.
- [Narrator] Eric plasma cuts metal
and builds a custom tank holder.
[heavy metal music]
The red team tests their inertial ram.
They think it'll be an easy slide to victory.
- We back up, hit their car.
[whistles] Bam!
We don't even have the wheels greased up yet.
Ready? One, two, three!
[metal clanging]
- Swing it back one more time.
- Woo! - Okay.
[metal clanging]
Hello.
- This pipe is an exact fit for that pipe.
It slides over like a huge collar,
so what we'll do is we'll lift it up, slide it on,
and then once we rotate it to where we want it,
we'll weld all the way around it like a pipe fitter
and it will be indestructible.
They would have to literally break that pipe
to get this thing off of it.
[intense music]
- 40 and a half. - 40 and a half.
That's the spot. - That's it.
- I've been trying to keep it light.
That's the whole deal.
- Okay, we gotta turn it in around.
- [Both] Yeah.
[crew chattering]
- Watch out for your fingers, Piz.
- Should you have 'em go running to get on?
- Yeah. - Woo!
- Woo! - Yeah.
- La, la, la. [crew clapping]
- That's hot. - The Blue b*mber has teeth.
- I like it.
I can't wait to get in and drive it.
- Group hug. - Awesome job.
- Yeah! [laughs]
[twinkling music]
- Yeah, I love you, man.
I love you, man.
- [Narrator] After another long day in the Monster Garage,
the two teams take stock of their progress.
- The car runs.
The tubing and caging is on.
The thing will be on the top and it'll punch.
As for kicking their a*s,
we'll find out when we get out there.
- If we have a mechanical failure
or if we blow a tire, something that we can't control,
they can ram on this thing all they want.
This thing's gonna be intact at the end of the night.
- We're looking good.
Tomorrow we can just touch up some things and you know,
if we wanna add or change something, we can.
- Our goals have been met every day so far.
- [Narrator] Both teams exit the garage
and walk out into the Long Beach night.
They're one day closer to punching each other's lights out.
[glass shatters] [body thuds]
Monster Garage Factoid.
In 1893, Andy Bowen and Jack Burke
fought the longest boxing match in history.
They lasted 110 rounds over more than seven hours
and ended with a draw.
[bubbles popping] [heavy metal music]
♪ Monster
♪ Monster Garage
[bell clanging]
- [Announcer] It's already day six,
the start of the final build day.
- [Narrator] The red team enters the garage
and gets right to business.
[tool whirring]
- Let's to work. - Let's go.
- [Narrator] It's obvious this team knows how to work
and the Blue Bombers?
They're still learning how to play.
[discordant music]
Shep's decided bad music is better than bad welds.
- You know?
[punches thudding]
I wanna just grab him.
[crew member shouting] [Shep drumming]
- It's about as efficient use of time
as me breaking out my chess set
and starting to play Jesse
in game a chess, you know? [laughs]
- I'd like to beat the [bleep] out of all of 'em.
Just beat! Beat!
- [Narrator] Crystal shows up fashionably late.
- As you can see,
a few of our team members cannot cooperate.
They have not been able to get up
or come from their Denny's breakfasts.
We've got makeup mama over here. [grumbles]
Are you gonna work like that or what?
- No, I'm waiting for us to do walk-in.
- Waiting for walk-in?
Do you know what time it is?
So you think it was fair
that you just get to come in halfway through the day
while I, him, and him, swept up all that crap.
Threw away all the stuff,
rolled up all the cords that we all made a mess of.
So you could have Denny's and coffee or whatever the hell
and get your makeup on a ride with Professor Gins?
- [Narrator] The tension on the red team inspires Tombstone
to come up with an instant classic Monster Garage mantra.
- Don't sweat the petty.
That's the sweaty.
- He's just jealous I'm getting too much attention.
- Come to me. Make me feel better.
Why do we not care about anybody but ourselves?
'Cause we are ignorant.
I-G-N-orant.
[bleep] ignorant.
- Von's coming in. - What are we doing?
- Where do you want us to stop?
- [Narrator] Hair and makeup? Done.
Costumes? Changed.
At 10:30 in the morning,
the blue team is finally ready for their closeup.
Jim needs a puncture proof housing for his air lines.
He decides exhaust tubing will do the trick.
- This is like a exhaust tubing expander doobie.
I don't know what the [bleep] it is.
Expanse tubing.
- [Narrator] Jim finds this task harder than expected.
- There is some muffler guy
watching me right now on TV laughing his a*s off.
[cartoonish voice laughs]
Hey, can I ask you a big favor?
- Go.
- You know about the tubing expander
for exhaust tubing, right? - Uh-huh.
- I'm trying to expand this tube
so it'll take this inside of it.
- You put these things here in here.
[upbeat rock music]
Everywhere you go, somebody coming up to you going,
"Oh, you're the guy who's on Monster Garage."
Ah!
- He's still one of the best welders,
fabricators, pipe fitters I know.
I mean he's awesome.
- [Mike] I'd just rather build the stuff.
That's why I'm more into building stuff,
trying to, you know,
build something better than everybody else has.
- [Jesse] He's just super technical
about everything that's mechanical, which I dig.
- You're the man. [Mike laughs]
- [Narrator] In the spirit of good sportsmanship,
Mike helps Jim out.
- See, even two teams can cooperate.
[ominous music]
- [Narrator] Dwayne might not agree with you, Jim.
- We don't have enough steel.
They took it all!
They didn't buy any tubing, they took all our steel.
[cartoonish voice laughs] That we paid for!
We have two sticks left
to fix the undercarriage on our chassis.
Look, it pisses me off.
- [Narrator] The red team's seeing red.
They head to the other side
to see who's gonna be black and blue.
- How much tubing did you guys buy?
- I don't know.
- [Dwayne] How much steel did you guys buy?
You bought the expand.
How much tubing did you buy?
- We've mostly been pulling off the rack, which is all-
- We bought it, we paid for it!
You want gum back that's already been chewed?
- No, do not take our tubing. - This is our tubing.
- It is not your tubing! Hey!
[playful music]
- In defense of our crew,
we were told the rack we would use the metal out of the rack
before we order anything.
That's what we were told.
- Can we use any steel out here in the yard we want?
- You can use whatever you want, Eric.
- What about the steel on the rack in there?
Can we use whatever's on the rack?
- Yeah. - Oh okay.
So it's free to,
whatever's on the rack's always free?
- Yeah. - Okay, just thought.
Just wanna make sure.
I'm sorry if you guys are upset
and we can order more metal and get it here right now.
The metal yard's right up the street.
- You guys don't even have money.
Who do I order with?
- We spent all our money, but we're pretty much.
- [Wink] Well, how are you gonna order anything?
- All I need is $60. - You can't order
something you can't pay for.
- Thank you. - We're almost done.
- Well, I guess so. You got our material.
You ought be famous. [all arguing]
- Guys, I'm trying to find a solution.
- I deal with this every day.
- I'm just trying to find a solution.
- I deal with this every day
because you know every day I have the kids at school,
"He took my tubing!"
And what you have to do is have your mommy
write your name on the tag next time
and then it'll be yours. - Work it out.
- It wasn't with malicious intent.
If it was, we'll never say.
- You guys need to get to work.
Stop yapping in here now.
[energetic music]
- Totally tubular.
- [Narrator] When the new tubing arrives,
the red team actually takes Shep's advice
and marks it as their own.
[heavy rock music]
- If will be evidence.
If they steal it now we're gonna beat 'em.
[dramatic music]
It's fun to come out here and work and stuff,
but I hate cameras.
Will you get the [bell dings]
camera outta my face?
Five minutes! Five minutes, okay?
- Cute girl that's got a lot of skills but doesn't,
she just seems regular.
Seems like one of the boys, you know?
She just works.
[metal clanging]
- [Narrator] With the Blue Bombers stealing their steel,
the Red Rockers are determined to play their trump card.
- They pissed me off.
We're using the valve springs out of this engine.
We're gonna absorb all the force
from their punching arm if they make a hit.
But Jesse said you can mount it however you want.
Everything's fair.
[dramatic music]
- You know another guy that you're looking right at him,
you wouldn't think, you know, genius.
- Ah! [laughs]
[Dwayne shouts]
[Dwayne laughs]
[hard rock music]
- He's a worker, he's a sharp guy,
and a lot of people wouldn't think that
that guy's one of the sharpest guys in town
if they walked passed him in the mall.
[intense music]
[metal rattling]
- We're gonna kick their a*s.
[punch thuds] [fighter grunts]
- [Narrator] Eric remains concerned
with the way his team is working
or not.
- It disappoints me to know
that most of 'em have their thumbs
in their [bleep] right now
and it's so far up of it that I'm tired.
I had to fire these [bleep] from my business.
- We're acting out our emotions with art.
See? Right there.
- Aw. - Poor Mister Man.
- [Narrator] Despite his teammates,
Eric's pressing forward with his secret weapon.
A remote control for the punching arm.
- Good. - You got activation?
- I got a battery reg right here.
A little clicking.
- It's clicking.
The solenoids are working.
- That's telling you that.
- Go there. - Oh dude,
I can go way over where you want it.
- [Narrator] The click's the trick.
- Nothing.
Now, yeah.
That's our range.
- Good. - Remote system's on.
- [Narrator] It looks like Eric's remote will work.
- This now just turned into Eric Scarlett.
I made the system.
Eric Scarlett keeps part of the system.
- [Narrator] Jesse is hard at work
fabricating the second target head.
With the welder of the year in control,
each head is like money in the bank.
[cash register dings]
- It looks like a cash register.
[producer laughs]
[dramatic music]
- [Narrator] Cindy serves up the fresh head
to her rival teammate, Crystal.
[dramatic music]
- [Crew Member] You're ruining my shirt, dude.
- Hopefully this is the only time
I see it in the upright position.
Bye-bye.
[cat hisses] - Nice try.
- [Narrator] Eric gets in the car
to finish the wiring for his remote control.
He asks Shep to stop welding.
- Do not weld while I'm sitting in here.
I don't wanna get burned.
- [Narrator] Eric has spoken but will Shep listen?
[light funky music]
Apparently not.
[metal clanging]
- Do you want me to get up and kick your [glass shatters]?
Can you stop and get the [bleep] off the [bleep] car?
- I'm gone. - Get off it!
- I'm gone.
- Dumb [bleep] weld didn't burn me in the neck!
Now I'm gonna beat his a*s he comes near me again.
I'm gonna beat his [glass shatters] lips out of him.
Did you hear me tell him?
- Yes. - How many times?
- Oh, a few. - A few?
- I told him too. - And you told him, right?
- I thought I was a mile away and I was,
I had my arm around it.
I didn't think any sparks would get to him.
- "I'm doing it miles from you."
Well, check it out.
This fist is gonna stretch a real quick mile
into his [glass shatters] head.
You see that?
- I'll pull him off if a fight breaks out,
but after he hits him a few times maybe.
[Eric laughs]
- I knew right away that Eric was gonna beat up Shep.
I called it in the first five minutes we were here Monday.
- Let's get it done first and you can beat Shep's a*s.
- Can we slam down [bleep]?
Yeah!
[metal clanging]
You ready now?
- [Narrator] Back on the red side,
the team prepares the Red Rocker for a little test run.
John uses some high school geometry
to calculate the carnage their flail will unleash.
- We're gonna figure out the speed
that the ba*ls are gonna hit our opponents' car.
Our radius on this,
I'd say it looks like about 44 inches. [echoing]
Circumference is five times the diameter. [echoing]
Divide that by 5,280.
- Circumference. - 44 inches.
- Which gives us 165.7 miles per hour.
That's 32 times a second.
Going 165 miles an hour,
our ba*ls are gonna hit their car
and that really should do some damage.
[dramatic music]
- Super, super sharp engineer and computer smart.
Everything all the way across the board.
You know that's kind of the flip flop of Wink and Dwayne
is just taking someone book smart, college educated,
and then showing that he can weld and heliarc
and stuff like that and their world.
[metal clanging]
- [Narrator] The Red Rocker is taken outside
for its first test.
The blue team tries to sneak a peek.
- The spies from next door.
They're peeking.
They're looking for the truck.
- Oh, they're so worried.
They gotta speed down there watching us test our car.
They should be working on their car.
Shouldn't be worrying about us.
- If these ba*ls come flying off, it's gonna hurt.
- Clear, everybody clear? - Clear.
[hard rock music]
- [Narrator] The flail ba*ls spin so fast
they can't even be seen.
It's hard to imagine the damage 32 hits per second
at 165 miles per hour will do to the Blue b*mber.
[engine roaring] [hard rock music]
[team members laughing]
[metal clanging]
- [Crew Member] That's not gonna do nothing to us.
- That was good already. - We've done kicked their a*s
already just watching 'em play with their toy.
Ah!
[metal clanging]
- That works. - Woo!
- All it'll do is hit the arm
so it's not strong enough to bring them down.
- Ah! - We got nothing
to worry about there.
- [Narrator] Delighted with their furious flail,
it's time to try their headhunter,
the solid steel inertia ram.
- And now we can play.
[heavy rock music]
[metal clanging]
[engine roaring]
[metal clanging]
- [Wink] Yes!
- [Narrator] Looks like Wink took the hardest hit.
- I chipped a tooth. - I see it, dude.
- Right there.
- [Narrator] The Bombers think the red team
has made a critical error in their calculations.
- You know, their thing on the front
isn't long enough to hit me even from the side.
Doesn't come past their nose by much.
They might just have an obsolete car.
- This thing is solid as a rock.
- We could go fight right now if we absolutely had to.
So I don't think we're in such bad shape.
- So the only way they're gonna knock our block off
is if they were to ram us
and break the welds just by pure luck.
Right now our arms are over their head
and we're gonna, you know,
we could actually back up and knock their block off.
- [Narrator] The ramming part of the fight
presents a serious safety issue.
If either driver gets stuck in a burning monster,
it could put a crink in Wink or Tombstone could be toast.
But that's why we have Brian Lind,
Monster Garage EMT ready to come to the rescue.
[dramatic piano music]
- [Announcer] Coming up,
we got Slayer at Terminal Island ready to get it on
for the ultimate death match between monsters!
Which team will make a date with the crusher?
You be the judge.
- This is the best Slayer concert ever.
♪ Monster
♪ Monster Garage
- [Announcer] Time is almost up for these monsters!
They better be ready to [glass shatters] soon!
- [Narrator] The red team believes everything's working.
They get down to the final touches,
monster size boxing gloves
to give their rock 'em some sock 'em.
While the red team celebrates
the union of craftsmanship and ideas,
the blue team divides once again.
- Now I can bash the [bleep] outta you.
- Hey. - I can beat you
like a big Shriners drum at a circus.
- Can we talk for a minute? Can I?
- [Producer] Does Tombstone have a problem?
- No, I don't have a problem with him.
It's just that ever since we told him
he was driving the car, he hasn't done [bell dings].
- Now that we're all- - Wah!
- Each one of us is delegating to each other.
- It's not that we're delegating.
We just want you to do something
'cause you haven't been doing much lately.
- Go to the beach, honey.
- I'd love to. - Go to the beach.
- We're at the beach. - Go to a junkyard.
Buy some free parts or something.
Ask her what she did a hundred percent on this car?
Not three quarters, not wired it up.
Ask her what she's done, started and completed by herself.
Ask her that now.
[metal clanging]
- [Narrator] Tombstone's words spur Crystal to get to work.
[upbeat rock music]
It's time to complete their arm.
They run the lines to connect the pneumatic punching arms
to the nitrogen that will power them.
Jesse drops by to lend his support.
- This one's totally gonna be all right.
I think it's looking very positive.
- [Narrator] Jesse pitches in on the armor
and puts a little extra plating where it counts.
- Those nitrogen bottles,
they didn't put anything to really protect them
and to make sure nothing pierces in
and knocks the top off one of those
because those things are like a rocket.
- [Narrator] Their arm is given a fist.
- [Crew Member] We're on there now.
- I like it. It looks good. - Yeah it does.
- [Narrator] Jesse helps mount the loaded b*mber's weapon.
[Jesse grunting] - Right there.
- That's it.
- They're gonna fight it out.
This is gonna be good.
- I know he wants us to win,
you know, because he's an underdog.
We're all underdogs, you know what I mean?
- In Monster Garage, we're all winners.
It's not about winning, it's about trying.
[intense music]
Let's get it straight right now and then we'll weld it.
We gotta put some kickers, Jim.
Let's put 'em straight down to here.
- [Narrator] The master fabricator himself
finishes up the Blue Bombers' car
with a few knockout welds to the arm
and then tops it off by welding on the head.
- Alright, ready to-
[expl*si*n rumbles]
- [Narrator] As the Red Rockers are installing
their custom jack in the box Springer style head suspension,
Jesse catches on to their secret plan.
- [Jesse] That's not fair.
You gotta mount it solid.
- Yeah, you said we could mount it however we wanted
as long as we attach to that plate.
It's on tape. - He's got a quarter.
- [Narrator] Could a coin flip
decide the outcome of the battle
even before the first punch is thrown?
- Heads, springs stay.
Tails, they go.
[coin jingles]
- Yes! [team cheering]
[Dwayne laughing]
[team cheering]
- What's the problem here?
- [Narrator] It doesn't take long
for the Blue Bombers to catch wind
of the red team's sinister plot.
- Oh, what? - The rules.
- So we should go put springs on ours then?
- We did the rules.
We just just followed the rules.
- But what I'm saying is you guys are crafty.
- The rules said. - You were very crafty.
You played it by a tee. - The rules said
we can mount it however we want to mount it
as long as it's mounted to that plate
and that's what we did.
- We did exactly what Jesse told us to.
He said you can mount the head any way you want.
- Five out of six of our team members are racers
and whatever we can do within the rules, we do it.
You know why we do it?
Because we're winning.
[twinkling music]
[air horn blares]
- [Narrator] Body Drop sounds the alarm.
Both teams are finally done and ready to-
[expl*si*n rumbles]
- Man, I hope we don't have the full advantage.
- [Narrator] The fight is on!
[engines revving]
- Ready? [air horn blares]
[whistle whooshes]
Both monsters go right from the build to the challenge.
Neither is going to the painter
and one is going straight to hell.
[evil voice laughing]
Monster Garage factoid.
Bare knuckle fighting officially ended in 1889
when American heavyweight champion John L. Sullivan
fought and won a bout against Jake Kilrain.
[bubbles popping] [heavy rock music]
♪ Monster
♪ Monster Garage
- [Announcer] Okay, monster mashers.
Are you ready to wreck and roll?
We're in the ultimate industrial mosh pit
and the stage is set for a rock 'em sock 'em death match
that will break down your house
and if it's loud enough, you're annoying neighbors too.
We got a hungry shredder jumping at the bit.
[metal clanging]
A crowd of hard hats looking for blood
and a quiet little folk trio named-
- Slayer!
- You guys got your goggles?
[crowd cheering]
[heavy metal music]
- [Announcer] We've also got their former bodyguard,
the reigning number one bad boy of Long Beach,
everyone's favorite pyromaniac, Jesse James!
[flames roaring]
[heavy metal music]
♪ Drones since the dawn of time ♪
♪ Compelled to live your sheltered lives ♪
♪ Not once has anyone ever seen ♪
♪ Such a rise of pure hypocrisy ♪
♪ I'll instigate, I'll free your mind ♪
♪ I'll show you what I've known all this time ♪
♪ God hates us all
♪ God hates us all
♪ You know it's true God hates this place ♪
♪ You know it's true he hates this race ♪
♪ Homicide, suicide
♪ Hate heals, you should try it sometime ♪
[heavy metal music]
[crowd cheering] [crowd applauding]
[air horn blares]
- [Announcer] Driving for the Red Rockers,
he's a grizzly bear in a fire suit,
the Monster Garage magician, Wink!
His opponent is a man who helped his team
of grim rippers snatch defeat from the jaws of victory.
What do you want on your Blue b*mber? Tombstone!
- Yeah, monster, monster. - Don't talk.
- [Announcer] While the drivers squeeze into their monsters,
let's go over the rules.
I mean rule. That's right.
There's only one, k*ll or be k*lled.
- What do we think about losers?
- [Audience Member] Grab 'em.
- What do we think about losers?
[crowd shouting]
That's right. The loser goes right up there.
Ladies and gentlemen, gander to your right up there.
That's 50,000 tons of shredding machine.
What does Jesse think the outcome will be?
- You never know with Monster Garage.
When you think you got it all figured out,
something goes the exact opposite.
[engines revving]
- The monsters enter the arena of death.
Heads will roll, folks.
That's right, ladies and gentlemen.
Let's hear some noise.
Make some frigging noise.
[engines revving] [crowd cheering]
You gotta be kidding me.
[engines revving]
- Our car looks so much cooler.
- That's right.
- Let's go!
[hard rock music]
- Ready, Tombstone? - Are you ready folks?
- [Crew Member] Yeah!
- Let's get ready for the death match.
Five,
four,
three,
two,
one!
[air horn blares]
And they're off!
[heavy metal music]
[engines roaring]
[metal clanging]
[metal clanging]
[metal clanging]
[engines roaring]
[metal clanging]
[heavy metal music]
- [Announcer] And Jesse James
is enjoying every little bit of carnage!
[metal clanging]
[heavy metal music]
I'm getting dizzy just watching the action!
[metal clanging]
[engines roaring]
Oh, Tombstone scored a direct hit!
[heavy metal music]
[engines roaring]
Uh-oh, it looks like there's a problem with the Blue b*mber.
[engines revving]
- I can't get into gear.
- [Announcer] Did you hear that?
Tombstone can't get into gear.
He's stuck.
The Blue b*mber's a sitting duck.
- Come on, Wayne! - Get in there!
- Did he break the clutch?
- [Announcer] Don't blink, folks, 'cause here comes Wink.
The Blue b*mber is taking a monster sized beating.
Tombstone just might be sitting in his own grave.
Get outta there, Tombstone!
For the love of God, man, get out!
[metal clanging] [heavy metal music]
There's Wink going in for the k*ll!
- Hey Tombstone, you all right?
[engine roaring]
[metal clanging]
- [Tombstone] I'm okay.
I'm doing fine in here.
- [Announcer] This ain't no fight. It's a bloodbath.
[Dwayne cheering]
You gotta hand it to Tombstone, folks.
He can take more punishment
than a box of donuts in a police station.
[metal clanging]
- Yeah! - Yeah!
- This is the best Slayer concert ever. [laughs]
[metal clanging]
- Whoa! - You gotta be kidding me!
Wink just took out half the audience!
- Hey, someone got hurt.
It's an official party.
- [Announcer] But after that close shave with death,
the fight has been stopped.
[crowd cheering]
- Way to go, man.
- [Announcer] What do you want on your tombstone?
I suck!
[heavy metal music]
- We did the stuff.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
We bad. We bad.
- I feel great, man.
I wish my shifter hadn't gone out.
My gears just stopped.
I couldn't shift in any gear, but I felt good, man.
They're telling me I was getting some good hits on him.
- He'd come around and we're like-
- You were driving amazing. - Get outta my way, Tombstone!
Like go over here, go over there.
- I could drive, even when I couldn't see I could drive.
- You were amazing out there. You really were.
- It was hot. - Thanks.
- Right on, man. - Had a blast, Wink.
- Hey, we'll go down to history, man.
- That's right.
- I had like Slayer behind me
and cars smashing each other in front of me.
- Did you get goosebumps? - That was no,
it just like the perfect balance
of everything I need in life.
[Jesse grunting] [producer chuckles]
- [Announcer] Okay, fight fans it's time for the decision
and here comes the judge.
- Shred it.
- [Announcer] It's official, folks.
Jesse's called it.
No blocks were knocked off
but the Red Rockers score a TKO victory over the game,
not lame Blue Bombers.
This one will be debated for years to come.
- They beat it up.
It's down. It can't move.
And they still couldn't take it out.
They still couldn't take the top off.
Our frame's in better shape than their frame.
Look at that front end. It's not even dented.
- [Announcer] The Blue Bombers
don't seem to be taking it too well.
- This is a draw, Jesse.
They didn't knock the block off.
- I agree. - Draw?
You guys, your car was dead in the water.
- Head or tails. - No.
[all chattering]
- That's not fair. - We still couldn't-
- They couldn't hit a dead car.
- Just because those guys cheated.
- We disabled his vehicles.
- It's 3:21, Shep.
Get away from me.
Your car was dead.
We could have kept hitting it until we knocked it off.
- No, they hit it and hit it and hit it.
They couldn't knock it off even when it couldn't move.
- Losers go that way.
Winners come here and get the box.
[upbeat music]
- Wah, wah, wah, wah.
- Wink, Dwayne, John.
All right. Good job, guys.
- Nobody spit. [metal clanging]
[crowd cheering]
- All stars.
Jesse James toolbox, Monster Garage CDs.
Good job guys.
That's what the losers get.
Hey Jim, Eric, Tombstone.
You guys come here.
Since you guys weren't pussies and quit,
I'm gonna give you guys toolboxes too.
- [Announcer] The big-hearted Jesse James
is giving deluxe toolboxes
to the three Blue Bombers who didn't stomp off
like crybaby sore losers.
[dramatic music]
[metal clanging]
- Yeah! [laughs]
[glass shatters] [metal crunching]
[dramatic music]
[metal clanging]
- [Producer] What are you doing?
- A souvenir of the piece of
[bell dings] car that didn't make it.
- [Announcer] That's it, folks.
Jesse's got no time for rocks that don't sock,
socks that don't smell,
and kindergarten teachers
who whine more than their students.
[announcer whining]
- I'm not even gonna get into that argument.
- [Announcer] He's got metal to burn, sparks to fly.
The next season of "Monster Garage" is just around the bend!
[heavy metal music]
♪ Monster
♪ Monster Garage
♪ Monster
♪ Monster Garage
♪ Monster
♪ Monster Garage
♪ Monster
♪ Monster Garage
♪ Monster
♪ Monster Garage
♪ Monster
♪ Monster Garage
♪ Monster
♪ Monster Garage
♪ Monster
♪ Monster
[bright music]
[dramatic music]
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04x01 - Rock 'Em, Sock 'Em (Pt. 2)
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A team of five people with mechanical, fabricating, or modifying expertise was assembled to modify a vehicle into a "monster machine."
A team of five people with mechanical, fabricating, or modifying expertise was assembled to modify a vehicle into a "monster machine."