[driving rock music]
[mooing]
- [Swag] This week's Monster Garage
is one of the most outrageous episodes yet.
- Did that taste like carb cleaner?
- [Swag] Builders are pushed to the edge.
- He said I have to be nice.
- Don't touch me there.
- [Swag] And Jesse's love of animals
goes a little too far.
- You wanna make out?
[squealing]
- [Narrator] Join us now
as Jesse and his g*ng of maverick mechanics
rip, grind and burn,
transforming ordinary street vehicles
into monster machines in the Monster Garage.
♪ Monster, Monster Garage
♪ Monster, Monster Garage
♪ Monster, Monster Garage
♪ Monster, Monster Garage
♪ Monster, Monster Garage
♪ Monster
[banjo music]
This week's challenge:
turn a 1959 Chevy Apache milk truck
into the world's first mobile milking monster.
The rules; the car must appear to be stock
and the team can spend no more than $5,000 for parts.
Jesse and his fellow mechanics have seven days and nights.
On the first day, they design.
For the next five they build,
and on the seventh day, he milks.
If successful, the team gets a $4,000
set of Mac's hottest tools,
and Milwaukee Electric Tool
will donate a set of tools worth over 2,500 bucks
to a Vo-Tech School of the builder's choice.
And the clock starts now.
[glass shattering]
[driving rock music]
[creepy laughter and squealing hinges]
Jesse steers in the remains of the Chevy milk truck.
This classic machine was in its prime 45 years ago.
Now they'll give it a new life as a Monster.
[driving rock music]
This week's design team will soon
have freshly pasteurized milk running through their veins.
Ryan Dickman is a graphic design student
at California Art Center,
specializing in automotive rendering.
Jerry Galleon is a dairy installation manager
for Turlock Dairy and Refrigeration in Modesto, California.
And Mark Clark is a product manager
for Boumatic Milking Systems in DeForest, Wisconsin.
[driving rock music]
[gentle mandolin music]
- What's up man?
I'm Jesse. - I'm Ryan.
- How you doing man?
- Jerry.
- Jesse, nice to meet you, Jerry.
- Mark. - Hey, what's up, Mark?
You guys look like milk experts.
[laughing]
- Keep going.
- Just my initial idea.
You guys can tell me if I'm crazy or not,
but I think a cow should walk right up into the back
and his head should be like sitting shotgun.
Should be milked, go to the other side,
go to a pasteurizer, and then chill it,
and then straight out the side, you know,
into a tap, fresh milk.
And then if we really wanted to be ambitious,
we could make it go, tee off,
into one that mixes it with chocolate
and make chocolate milk.
And it should have a big block Chevy.
- Of course.
- And a loud pipes. - We gotta keep the pipes
quiet while we're milking though.
[laughing]
- Really? - Oh yeah.
That's gonna be a problem.
- Will it scare the cow? - Oh yeah.
She'll never give her milk down.
- The whole philosophy behind milking a cow
is to remove all available milk
as quickly and gently as possible,
and cows don't like loud noises.
They'll get nervous.
- [Jerry] Yeah.
- [Narrator] Mechanized milking
requires the suck of a vacuum
and pasteurization needs heat.
Jerry knows how to get 'em.
- We're gonna pick up the vacuum level
off the motor, milk the cow,
that'll be our vacuum supply.
- Okay. - And then the heat,
we'll pick it up right off the block too.
I wanna pick it up right under the thermostat.
- Awesome.
That thing's beat, so it'll need a new motor and trans.
- Where'd you get this one?
- Some dude, bought it off him.
He, like, emailed me,
hey, you wanna buy a milk truck?
Yes I do.
[chuckling]
People probably watch this show,
think we have this, like, weird focus group.
Well, I think you know the audience wants to see...
No, you wanna buy a milk truck?
Yeah, cow milker.
[laughing]
It's that easy.
- [Narrator] Recipe for Monster Fresh Milk:
Gut a Chevy milk truck, load in a milking machine,
a custom pasteurizer and a cooling bath
and slam 'em against the wall.
Coax a cow into a bent tubing stall and hook her up.
Pasteurize the milk, send it to a tap,
and it's ready to drink.
Fresh milk straight from a Monster.
[banjo music]
[truck rumbling]
[country music] [cows mooing]
Day two.
[bluesy rock music]
This week's Monster team arrives at the garage
ready to milk it for all it's worth.
[clicking]
Jerry Galleon from the design team
is not only an expert dairyman,
he's also a mechanical jack of all trades.
[clicking]
Kyle Rodowski is the fleet manager for all the city vehicles
of Laguna Beach, California.
[clicking]
Craig Zell from Cottage Grove, Wisconsin
is a research technician
for Boumatic Milking Systems,
and is an all around gearhead.
[clicking]
Susan Shulk is a schematics designer for Mitchell,
and has 25 years of mechanical expertise under her belt.
[clicking]
And fearless fabricator Bob Norland,
from Huntington Beach,
is an overhead crane technician.
[driving rock music]
[laughing]
- Yay, we have a woman on this team.
It's good.
It balances us out.
- Good to meet you.
- Jesse. - Sue.
- How you doing, man? - Craig.
- Hey, how's it going?
Back for more, huh? - Yep.
- What's up, man? - Kyle.
- Hey, man.
All right, what do you think?
- That's a good idea. - Yep.
- He's got it all figured out already.
[chuckling]
- I like the look of the truck, man,
that thing is sweet.
It's got that good old school look to it.
Just that there's gonna be a cow riding around in there.
[all laughing]
That's kinda cool.
- I'll start on yanking,
I got a new motor and trans for it,
so, 'cause that thing's dead.
- [Jerry] Okay. - So, ready?
Gut it, cool. - Okay, all right.
- [Builder] Let's roll.
[driving rock music]
[grunting]
- There you go.
[buzzing]
[driving rock music]
[clattering]
[banging]
[buzzing]
[whirring]
[crashing]
- Oh, awesome.
There's a bottle of wine in the front, man.
- [Jerry] Yeah, where they at over there?
- The milkman was hitting the sauce on his delivery route.
[driving rock music]
- [Narrator] While the guys decimate the truck body,
Sue inspects its brain.
- Has anyone tried to get this thing running?
- No.
I bet you we put a battery in it
this thing would fire up.
And since it can't be loud,
there's no reason to put a big motor in it.
- No, there isn't.
This should pull it.
- Oh yeah.
- [Narrator] A little racing fuel
down the carburetor bowl vent,
and they're ready to see if the six banger
will take a spark.
[engine turns over]
- There she goes.
[engine cranking]
Pour some more in there, Sue.
[engine revving]
Yeah, it's cool.
You, what do you think?
- Yeah, go for it, carburetor.
- Yeah, it sounds good though.
- Do we have carb cleaner at all here?
A carb tank or...
- No, let's take it over to that place
down the street.
- Oh, let them do it.
- I've been driving past that place.
- Oh, that's easier.
- 10 years now
and I've always wanted to see if he could do a car.
- Okay. - Yeah.
- [Narrator] Sue Shaw can wrench.
She's racked up 25 ASC Certifications
and four Master Certifications.
- I'm a quad master.
When I got it I had the distinction
of being the only woman to hold all four.
- [Narrator] Though she's done it all,
From mechanics to schematics,
Sue has always had to fight for her place in the garage.
- Well, I once told someone that I hadn't
yet found a car or tool
that you had to stick a p*nis in it
to make it work and the whole room just went silent.
[chuckling]
- [Narrator] With the old truck in good hands,
Jesse takes a break to promote strong bones
and then hits the streets of Long Beach
with the fouled carb.
[driving rock music]
- It's home.
It may not be the nicest place on earth,
but it's cool for me.
[driving rock music]
What's up man?
- Hiya.
- You got any carburetors here?
- Yeah.
- Here.
You want that one?
- No.
I rebuild it for you.
- Do what?
You wanna rebuild for me?
How much?
- 89. - 89 bucks?
All right.
There you go.
All right, thank you.
[mouth harp twanging]
Hey, did that dude gimme any change?
[laughing]
- [Camera Person] No.
[driving rock music]
- [Narrator] Back in the shop, the rest of the team
tackles what will be the most grueling job of the day,
removal of the ancient fiberglass insulation
to make room for Bessie.
[clattering]
- Oh, oh. - Sorry man.
- Thanks a lot.
[laughing]
- [Narrator] As hard as this job is, some of these guys
are used to a brutal workday.
- This is a walk in the park
compared to my daily job.
- [Narrator] Bob Norland has had
But there's a difference between a typical mechanic's life
and a life as an overhead crane technician.
- 95% of our time we're above 20 feet.
I'm not afraid of heights, I'm afraid of falling.
- [Narrator] By the end of day two,
the 45-year-old truck is stripped down to its skeleton.
But in the next few days this Monster
will hav to undergo an even more radical transformation
if it's gonna carry 1400 pounds of pure milk and muscle.
[mooing and laughing]
Monster Garage Factoid:
An average cow weighing 1300 pounds
would make 2,717 hamburgers.
At one hamburger per day,
that cow would last seven and a half years.
[mouth harp twanging]
♪ Monster, Monster Garage
[upbeat country music and mooing]
[tires squealing and crashing]
Day three.
[rock music]
This will be a critical day for the Monster Milker team.
They have torn the truck apart
and now they have to completely rebuild it.
- Well, we got big dreams, so...
- Big dreams. [laughing]
- 1, 2, 3, [all mooing]
[laughing]
[mouth harp twanging]
- [Narrator] Half the team gets to work on the back
while Kyle and Sue try to untangle a maze of wire.
- It's been cut into and taped and spliced and twisted up.
And you know, all kinds of things have been added in.
- It's just a different wiring configuration
than what I'm used to.
It's a really old system.
New car, it's all wired up to this.
When you crank at that spring loaded part,
it handles everything electrically now.
But if you look in here,
[clattering]
this is actually the old starter thing.
It was a mechanical linkage
to the starter motor right here.
So you have your gas pedal,
but this is your starter pedal right here.
I used to have a '52 Chevy with a floor starter,
[chuckling]
but I don't remember how it was wired.
- [Narrator] But before they can wire the control panel,
Kyle has to consult with the Milk Master.
- Hey Jerry? - Yeah.
- Are you gonna need like a panel up in the front
as far as flipping switches
and controlling things or are you gonna do that in the back?
- I'm gonna put it all right back here.
- Are you gonna have enough room
to stand on the side of the cow and-
- We're not gonna have [cowbell] room in here.
[laughing]
[driving rock music]
- [Narrator] As far as this project goes
Jerry and Kyle might as well
come from different planets.
- I grew up on a dairy farm,
[mooing]
so I've been around cows all my life.
- I hit a cow once when I was driving to Mexico.
- [Narrator] Kyle is a city boy
who manages the Laguna Beach fleet vehicles.
- From lawnmowers to fire trucks.
I have worked on it all.
- [Narrator] And Jerry's a country boy
who works out of Modesto, California.
- We pretty much build the barn from the ground up.
- [Narrator] But when it comes to the Monster Milker,
there's one thing they can agree on.
- It's a real challenge, it really is.
- I hope that we pull it off, but I'm nervous.
[engine buzzing]
- [Narrator] Jesse James blows into the shop
just in time to meet some real life inspiration.
[country music]
A 3-year-old, 1200 pound Guernsey cow with an underbite.
- Hey, cow.
Smell me?
Yeah?
[country music]
I think she likes me.
[lively country music]
- [Narrator] The Monster Milkman introduces the crew
to Lucy the cow.
[laughing]
- Put your thumb down like this.
- [Narrator] Body Drop is first
to try his hand at milking.
- Like I said, you squeeze,
you're gonna kind of pull down just a little bit.
Yeah, don't pull too hard
or she'll give you a little love tap.
- Oh, I don't want that.
[chuckling]
[bucket scraping]
- [Milkman] Don't worry about the tail.
Just sw...
[bucket clanging]
[lively country music]
[yelling]
- That's what you don't see every day.
[laughing]
- [Narrator] Milking is a lot harder than it looks.
Jerry shows them how it's done.
[lively country music]
The rest of the team gets their turn at the teat
and then collect some measurements
before heading back to the task at hand.
- This might be a little bit tough getting this
cow up in that truck.
[chuckling]
- [Narrator] Armed with the measurements
the team discovers that even completely gutted,
the truck is still too short
for a cow from hoof to roof,
so the master mechanic comes up with a radical fix.
- So we can, I could take these,
cut these cross members out.
Lay this down flat,
and then we can have a piece of 10 gauge broke
so it fits in between there and flush
and there's a straight shot.
- Good, that's gonna be some work.
[laughing]
- I'll do it. - Okay.
- [Narrator] Jesse's plan
is to remove all the steel cross members
and fab a new lower floor between the wheel wells.
He's just sentenced himself to some seriously dirty labor.
- This is gonna suck.
[driving rock music]
[hissing and clattering]
[hissing]
[banging]
[driving rock music]
[coughing]
- Old car burning smell.
Haven't smelled that in a while.
[driving rock music]
That can't be healthy.
- They say smoking's bad for you,
imagine being a welder your whole life.
- I know.
I'll probably die of some disease
known to burning undercoating.
[driving rock music]
[mooing]
Cow goes here.
- Woo.
Chop it out.
That looks good.
- [Narrator] Jesse's not the only one with a big job.
It's one thing to get a monster moving,
it's another to get it to stop.
- The brakes are pretty important on this truck.
It weighs too much.
All the little kids gathered around to get a glass of milk
and here comes the cow wagon
with a cow in the back with no brakes.
[chuckling]
- [Narrator] Kyle has a sophisticated technique
when it comes to broken wheel studs.
- A special tool that I'm used to using,
a hot wrench.
[upbeat music]
[hissing]
[punching sound effect]
[banging]
Done.
My favorite tool.
[Yee-haw sound effect]
- [Narrator] By the end of day three,
it's clear that the truck is still
miles away from milking.
The team starts to wonder
when and if they'll all be sporting milk mustaches.
But Jesse can't worry about the build
when he has a cow to think about.
- I was gonna say, cover the, you know,
the seat in cow hide,
but then what if the cow sees that,
thinks, you know...
[crew laughing]
That's what happened to the last cow
that was in here that didn't give milk,
we made a seat out of it.
- [Narrator] The team can laugh all they want now,
because tomorrow will not be fun and games.
[rock music]
[country music and babbling voices]
Day four.
[country music]
Today's number one plan of action
is to get the truck floor welded up strong enough
to handle the weight of both a cow
and her human milking assistant.
- That's the hot banana.
- Sounds like a good plan.
- Yep, if you're in the mood to help us,
it may take three of us.
We'll just get that floor knocked out right away.
- Yeah. - And get it done.
- [Narrator] Kyle wants to help,
but yesterday he had a few problems with the mig.
- That one's ugly.
Oh man, that was ugly.
Oh, sh...that's no good, damn it.
Are you, Bob, you a good upside down welder?
- [Crew] Yes he is.
- I can give a shot.
- Okay, 'cause I made a mess under there yesterday.
- Well, let's hit it.
- Let's roll.
[mouth harp twanging]
- [Narrator] Bob is qualified to handle the job.
- The upside down, like he's doing,
you know, it gets a little tricky, you know.
Gravity just pulls the, you know,
the molten metal just drops it down on top of the tip
and it's definitely, it's a talent.
- Master welder Bob.
[mouth harp twanging]
- [Narrator] Jesse rolls in
and he's brought a friend, Colonel Mustard.
He's also brought a key element for the Monster Milker,
a racing fuel cell.
[banging]
- Fill her up.
- It was meant to go right there, look at that.
- That looks pretty cool.
- All we need is a filler.
- [Narrator] And Jesse's got just the thing.
- It's called a dry lock.
It's for, it's off my Ferrari race car.
Race car parts on the cow milker.
- [Narrator] While Jesse pieces together
a frame for the dry lock,
Kyle and Craig start skinning Bob's skeleton.
[driving rock music]
[buzzing]
[driving rock music]
- Looks good.
I think it looks all right.
[mouth harp twanging]
- [Narrator] Midway through day four
thousands of dollars worth of parts
from Boumatic Milking Systems are delivered.
[mouth harp twanging]
[dog whining]
Milking is no longer just a squeeze and pull operation.
Automated milking is now a high tech industry.
[burbling sound effect]
The Monster milk truck will work like this:
vacuum from the truck's intake manifold
will be pumped to a vacuum chamber.
From there, an attached pulsator will send pulsation
to the teat cups, which will milk the cow.
The milk then goes through the milk meter on the side
of the Monster milk truck, which weighs the milk.
Then the heart of the beast,
the circulating pump, pushes the milk
through the pasteurizing tubes
where hot water from the truck's radiator heats it
to 161 degrees.
It's then sent through a cooling chamber,
and from there the freshly pasteurized milk
is sent to a tap on the side of the truck.
- Lot of goodies.
Christmas time.
- [Narrator] Though Craig Zell
tests and designs parts for Boumatic,
he also has his own shop at home for cars.
- I got a old Beetle and completely did that.
And my dune buggy, I built it from scratch.
I've worked on so many cars, I can't even begin
to tell you about all of 'em.
- [Narrator] But Craig's job at Boumatic
fulfilled a lifelong dream.
- Actually, I wanted to work with cows and large animals.
They're big and bad, and you can rough 'em up.
[laughing]
- [Narrator] With the parts here
Jerry can finally get busy.
He starts by making the heat exchanger,
which pasteurizes the milk.
- There's gonna be another tube
run right down the center of this.
It's gonna be half inch.
The milk will go through here.
This will be the engine water runs on the outside,
inside this tubing.
So it's a tube over tube heat exchanger
is what they call it.
We've never tried the heat.
You know, this is something new,
heating up the pasteurizer
off the engine block, you know.
I hope it works.
[laughing]
[bluesy guitar]
[humming]
[laughing]
[bluesy guitar]
- [Narrator] By now, it's become clear
that Jerry's expertise is not limited to milk.
This Monster builder knows it all.
- We've gotta learn a new trick from an old dog.
You gotta show us how to etch this.
He's the go-to guy.
- Yeah.
[buzzing]
[bluesy guitar]
- Dang man, look at that.
Got some good freehand work there.
[jaunty banjo]
- [Narrator] Jerry may be in charge
in the back of the truck,
but Sue's in charge up front.
She's put in the water pump.
She's getting up close and personal
with the oil change.
- Oily.
- [Narrator] And she's also the lucky recipient
of a refurbished radiator.
- Ah, just like an award.
Thank you.
[jaunty banjo]
- [Band Member] One, two, three.
[country rock]
- [Narrator] To get that down home feeling in the garage,
the Moonshine Mountain Boys roll in
to show 'em how to get her done.
♪ Spent all of my life
♪ Chasin' this dream
♪ Still I feel like I'm 17
♪ Seems so long since I've been home ♪
♪ Well I could fly down by Aikman's lake ♪
♪ Stealing tiles down the interstate ♪
♪ Carlo Carson laughin' by my side ♪
♪ Livin' the dream tonight
♪ Livin' the dream tonight
♪ Livin' the dream tonight
- Yee-haw!
[driving rock music]
- [Narrator] By the end of day four,
Bob puts the last weld onto the truck's new deck.
- Jump up and down on it.
Let's go, move.
Moo-ve.
- [Narrator] The Monster Milker team
only has two more days to lock her up
or the build will go down in flames.
[driving rock music]
[fireworks sound effect]
- Oh crap, how are we gonna pull this off?
- I am getting a little worried, yeah.
- [Narrator] Worried or not,
there's no use crying over spilled milk,
so this build team will be back in the morning
ready to take the bull by the horn.
- See you tomorrow, milk truck.
[rock guitar]
- [Narrator] Monster Garage Factoid:
What do Robert Redford, Sting, d*ck Gebhart
and Baby Spice have in common?
All their fathers were milkmen.
♪ Monster, Monster Garage
[bouncy country music] [mooing]
Day five.
[mouth harp twanging]
The Milk Monster team rolls in with only two more days
to get the truck running and cow-ready.
While Sue wires the ignition,
Craig and Bob piece together Bessie's stall.
[upbeat country music]
- Your measurement better be right, man.
It's gonna be long.
- This one's short.
- That's way short.
No, I'm short.
- What?
- I got a one inch gap over here.
- A one inch? - Yeah.
- And this one's too long.
- Ah, that's the one.
All right.
- [Narrator] Jesse shows up with a high impact detail,
a hand grenade shifter knob,
setting off an expl*si*n in Bob's brain.
- The Milk b*mb.
- That's what we should call it.
- The Milk b*mb.
- Milk b*mb.
That's badass, I like it.
- That's it.
You claimed it. - Nice.
- That's what I feel like sometimes. [chuckling]
- [Narrator] If the Milk b*mb's gonna roll,
it's gotta have fuel,
so Jesse puts the finishing touches on the dry lock
and then starts piping the Ferrari filler to the fuel cell.
[driving rock music]
To get the job done right
he uses a technique universal to all great fabricators;
he eyeballs it.
[driving rock music]
No one's surprised when it's a perfect fit.
[upbeat country music]
Sue got the engine wired and primed
and is ready to give her a spark.
If they can't get this straight six lit, there's little time
for a swap out.
- Well, what do you think?
Are you confident?
Are you ready?
- Let's give it a try.
- All your years of experience right here on the line.
- Well, generally there's a few things
I would've done differently.
[chuckling]
Give it a try.
- Wait, where's the closest fire extinguisher?
[chuckling]
[driving rock music]
[engine cranking]
- Almost.
[engine cranking]
Hold on. - [Sue] Outta gas.
- What's that?
- I think it's outta gas now.
- You think so?
Try it again.
[engine starting]
- Turn it off!
[whistling]
There you go.
- [Sue] Turn it off?
- Yeah, shut it off.
Get a little bit of a leak.
Turn it off!
- [Sue] Okay.
- There you go.
Your oil filter's leaking.
- It is?
Oh crap.
- [Jesse] What's wrong?
- [Crew] Oil filter.
- The gasket on top of the oil filter didn't seal up.
- [Sue] Oh, it didn't?
- Yeah, it was blowing out the top of the cam
where you changed it out.
Nice going, Sue.
- I know.
- Now you know why you never read the manual.
[laughing]
- I didn't read the manual.
All right, we're just dripping oil like mad.
- That was bigger and better.
- Hey, at least you know the oil pump
and everything's picking up and working.
- So we just gotta crank it down more.
- Yeah, put it down again.
Make sure you got, how tight did you have it?
'Cause it's spring-loaded.
- [Sue] Well, I didn't have it, apparently.
- Oh, just finger tight?
- [Sue] Yeah, I think I forgot to tighten it.
- Oh.
[Sue laughing]
That's all right.
- [Narrator] Sue gets the gasket
on the oil filter tightened down,
makes a few quick wiring adjustments
and they give it another shot.
[engine cranking]
- Keep giving it fuel.
- [Sue] Am I getting enough spark?
- Yeah, you're getting spark.
- [Sue] You sure I am?
[engine cranking]
Something's not right.
- You almost got it.
[engine cranking]
- No, it's not running right.
Shouldn't do this.
Shouldn't do this.
Okay, screw it.
- Female driver.
[laughing]
I dunno.
Just hold it wide open.
It'll probably, it was wanting to start.
- It sounds to me like the spark's not good.
- [Narrator] Maybe it's woman's intuition,
but Sue guesses that something came loose
when she was under the dash.
- [Sue] That's why, I had no juice going to the ballast.
- [Kyle] Oh, you didn't have your ignition wires
hooked up, right?
- No, no, they came off.
- [Kyle] Oh, okay.
- [Narrator] A couple tweaks
and Sue's back in the driver's seat.
- All right.
[engine cranking]
[engine starting]
All right, easy, easy.
She's old.
- [Narrator] The song of the six cylinder
is like music to their ears.
- [Sue] Got a little miss.
- It's like a Singer sewing machine, isn't it?
- Cool.
- Okay, so-
- One worry out of our hair.
- Good, you did good work.
You did a good job.
- Ah, thanks.
Got it from the big guy.
- Alright, let's just keep tearing it up.
[driving rock music]
- [Narrator] The engine success sparks a frenzy of activity.
The team mounts the heat exchanger
that will pasteurize the milk.
Then Jerry loads the cooler that will cool it back down.
- Oh, that's great.
- [Narrator] Finally, he attaches the milk weight monitors
to the side of the Monster.
Now Craig jumps in to fab a crucial device,
a custom headlock to keep Bessie
from dancing around while she's inside
the belly of the beast.
[driving rock music]
- This is gonna be, there's gonna be a rod running
through here with a lever and some linkage
that'll pull this forward like this
and it'll hold the cow's head tight so then she can't move.
Yeah, sure.
[driving rock music]
So when she's walking in, leave it open like that.
She'll walk in, stick her head in
and you close it like this.
Locks her in place.
Can't get out.
- [Narrator] And now that the Milk b*mb
is starting to come together,
it's time to call in a milking authority.
[mooing]
Her name is Bobcat.
She's come accompanied by Joey and Joseph Aroso
to give the Monster an official bovine once over.
- [Jerry] Bring the cow over, let her check it out.
- Yeah, she gotta look at it too.
- [Jerry] This is where we gotta load her.
We got a pretty long ramp going up in there.
- All in there?
- That hot bucket of shavings that we have.
- Get something new.
- Pretty high up there.
- She was hoping
for a little more horsepower, I think.
- We're gonna pasteurize this milk in here
and then we're gonna dump it into an ice bath
and then it's gonna come out of an ice bath
and we're gonna have some spigots right outside then.
- I think it's crazy, but it's getting her to relax
with somebody sitting just right next to her
is probably gonna be the major problem.
- Yeah.
- Who's gonna drive it?
- Jesse. - Oh.
- The cow's gonna be scared.
- Is it?
- [Narrator] Bobcat is sorry to leave the garage,
but the team invites her to stay for dinner.
[mouth harp twanging]
As day five wraps up
the team knows that the success
of the Milk b*mb now rides on the shoulders of one builder.
The go-to guy.
- Jerry's the guy, man.
- He's gonna be man of the hour tomorrow.
- Don't feel any pressure though.
- No, no, none at all.
[laughing]
[mouth harp twanging]
[driving rock music]
- [Swag] On day six in the Monster Garage,
the guys that get c*ck-
- Well I think we will probably finish by probably sundown.
- [Swag] Are the guys that crash and burn.
- This couldn't possibly be happening.
♪ Monster, Monster Garage
- [Voice Effect] The Bovine Spirit Squad.
- [Narrator] Day six.
[upbeat country music]
Jesse James leads the team in for the Milk b*mb's
final build day.
Their first challenge is
to give the Monster's deck a stress test.
- Alright, you guys bounce up and down.
Ready, go.
- Woo-hoo.
- Four.
- So it was 2, 4, 6.
- There's about a thousand pounds.
- Okay.
- If we hit a big bump with the cow in there,
it's not gonna hurt anything.
- Yep. - I mean,
'cause it was-
- Double check to make sure-
- Just barely kissing it.
It wasn't like, bam.
- We're safe.
- We have ramp.
- [Narrator] The folks from U-Haul donated a ramp.
While they're testing things,
across the shop, Jesse's jumping on something else.
He's flaring pipe ends for a muffler,
a foreign object in the Monster Garage.
- It's only 'cause it's for a cow.
[driving rock music]
I always said, if it all fails, man,
I could go work at Midas.
I'd be shift leader, man.
- [Crew] There you go.
[upbeat country music]
- [Narrator] This team's shift leader
has a lot riding on his shoulders,
but he's feeling confident.
- Well, I think we will probably finish by probably sundown.
Yeah, it shouldn't be a problem, yeah.
Famous last words though.
[laughing]
You know what they say about assumptions. [laughing]
- [Narrator] As the day wears on,
the only jobs left are Jerry's responsibility.
♪ Christmas time is here
- [Narrator] Jesse is becoming dangerously bored.
[driving rock music]
- Never attempt to light firecrackers in a closed container.
It doesn't say, never attempt
to light them in a empty bowl pinata.
[driving rock music]
[fireworks crackling]
[whistling]
- [Narrator] Before Jesse has a chance
to blow up the garage,
a new distraction arrives.
[mooing]
The test cow, Betsy, three calves
and a couple of other barnyard friends.
- Look at the little pigs.
Hey pig!
Do you wanna be my friend?
[oinking]
[upbeat banjo]
[squealing]
Huh?
[upbeat banjo]
Cows rule.
[laughing]
You're not funny.
You are not funny.
[upbeat banjo]
Cows, man.
[mooing]
- [Narrator] Back in the garage
the guys make one final push to finish the beast.
The tension is clearly building.
- Isn't there somebody else
you can film besides me?
- Get outta here.
- [Narrator] With one more addition-
- Custom spigot.
- [Narrator] The Milk b*mb is finally finished.
- It's all done, ready to go.
Looks real pretty too.
- [Narrator] But before the beast meets Betsy,
they have to test the milker and pasteurizer using water.
- [Jerry] You getting milk weights?
- Yes I am, senor. - [Jerry] Okay.
- [Narrator] The milk vacuum is working fine.
- That looks like it's working great.
- [Narrator] Now they test the pasteurization heat process.
- Turn that off of milk.
- [Narrator] This takes time,
as the circulating pump pushes the water
through the heat exchanger enough times to heat it
to 161 degrees.
- Getting hot.
- Attention Monster Garage builders.
Let's get this done.
- [Narrator] Only three degrees to go.
And suddenly, silence.
The pump goes quiet.
- Hey, somebody unplugged my extension cord right here?
- I think you're plugged in.
- It's showing?
Aw, [mooing].
This couldn't possibly be happening.
We'll pull that pump apart and see what's going on.
- [Narrator] The worst has happened.
Without that pump,
the milk can't get to the heat exchanger to be pasteurized.
- We're done.
- What happened?
- Pump motor burnt.
- Which motor?
- Motor for that pump.
Son of a... [clattering]
I can't believe it.
- How did it burn up?
- I think it must have been a bad motor.
[sighing]
Yeah, shut her down.
- [Narrator] The team is looking into the face of failure.
Nothing to do, but tell Jesse.
- Brand new pump burnt.
- Let me go look at it.
We'll figure something out.
- Yeah, it fried the motor in it.
- What's the pressure gotta be?
- [Jerry] It doesn't have to be much.
Two, three pounds will circulate everything.
- What about one of them drill motor ones?
- [Jerry] That would work.
I mean that would-
- One of those siphon pumps.
- That would pump it.
You know something?
That's a good idea, Jesse.
We could put a electric drill motor in here
and just run it on a slow speed.
- 8:30 on Friday night.
Drill motor siphon pump.
[laughing]
- [Jerry] Son of a [mooing].
- Let's milk a cow.
[driving rock music]
- [Jerry] Now this is Monster Garage.
[laughing]
- [Narrator] Jesse attaches a variable speed drill
to the pump and they turn it on.
- Good, the pump's working, man.
[buzzing]
- [Crew] Really bad guys.
- [Jerry] That sounds slow though,
but it might do it.
[buzzing]
- How fast do we need to go?
- Well, about twice that sound.
- [Narrator] The drill motor is a little too slow,
but Jesse's got another idea up his sleeve.
The coolant pump for his heliarc welder.
- Let me get set up here, we're probably-
- This is gonna totally work.
[buzzing]
[intense music]
Cool.
[intense music]
- [Narrator] His welder left in pieces,
Jesse heads back to the truck to attach the new pump.
- We're milking this build for all it's worth.
- Yeah.
- [Narrator] Jesse's coolant milk pump
brain child works like a charm.
- Yeah, there's a suction on it, feel it?
- Oh yeah. - Yeah, we got her.
- [Narrator] But this little lady
needs to be milked so there's no time
to test it before they head out and hope for the best.
None of this will matter if Betsy won't cooperate.
- Let's see if that cow goes up inside that truck.
- [Narrator] Betsy, Monster.
Monster, Betsy.
- Come on baby.
- Come on sweetie.
- We made it just just for you.
- Come on.
- [Narrator] Betsy's not so sure.
- I don't think she likes me.
- Come on girl.
- Whoa!
- We got a breakaway.
- That's something you can't really plan for.
[chuckling]
- Please.
- [Jerry] Pretty please.
- [Narrator] One more try.
- Come on girl, come on.
- More horsepower in the back.
- Hey, come on.
[all encouraging]
- Good girl.
Get her in, get her in, get her in.
- Don't bite me.
- Jerry, you're gonna have a heart attack
before this days over, man.
You got a story to tell everybody back home.
- [Narrator] Now that she's in
the Monster is put to the test.
- You wanna wear my hat?
- [Narrator] Betsy and the Monster
finally make friends.
- Good girl.
- [Narrator] In a matter of minutes, milking is done
and the teat cups retract.
- Whoa, look at that.
She's got reverse, man.
- [Narrator] Betsy has come through for the Monster team.
Now the jerry-rigged circulating pump comes into play.
[ticking]
- [Crew] Yeah.
[ticking]
- This pump is actually working real good.
Yeah.
[ticking]
- Yeah, look at that.
- [Narrator] They got milk. - Yeah.
- That's enough to test it.
- [Jerry] Yeah, it should be.
[upbeat banjo]
- [Narrator] Jesse has the first taste of Monster Milk.
- [Crew] Nice.
[upbeat banjo]
- It's good.
Tastes like milk.
[upbeat banjo]
- Jerry? - Yes.
- [Crew] Nice.
- Are we good?
- We're good, man. - All right.
- Awesome, we got milk.
You guys want some tools?
- [All] Yeah.
- All right.
[upbeat banjo]
- [Narrator] The Monster Milker team
took it down to the wire,
but the Milk b*mb did not blow up in their faces.
- Jesus, now that I think about it,
good thing you didn't try
to do that motor and trans swap also.
[all laughing]
We'd have been dead.
Good job.
- It's been a blast.
- Yeah, that's awesome.
You guys did good.
- Unbelievable.
- Well, cool.
Mac Tools.
Motorcycle Mania CD.
We made milk.
I didn't think we were gonna get
that damned cow inside there.
[laughing]
- That was cool. - Yep.
- Good job guys.
It was awesome.
[upbeat banjo]
- Everybody loves milk.
- We love each other.
- [Narrator] Build cost tally.
Hard cash; $4,968.71.
Vehicle cost; 8,500.
Freebie value; $9,154.94.
Total cost; $22,623.65.
♪ Monster, Monster Garage
[upbeat country music]
- [Swag] Yee-haw!
It's the Big Swag here in Winchester, California,
and look who's coming around the mountain.
It's Jesse James in the lit up Milk b*mb.
- Hiya, ladies.
- [Swag] It's milking time here at Stiefel Dairy
and one lucky bovine will rendezvous
with the world's first Mobile Milking Monster.
The beast got dressed up for its date with destiny.
The guys over at West Coast Choppers gave it
a classic red paint job and fat old school white walls.
[driving rock music]
Jerry Galleon is here to give Jesse a hand.
- Alright, put the cow in.
- [Swag] And here comes trouble.
She goes by the name of Brownie.
Let's see what Brownie thinks of the b*mb.
[clanking]
You've gotta be kidding me.
Love at first sight.
Jerry hooks her up and gets the vacuum going.
But wait a minute.
What's going on now?
[mooing]
- She doesn't wanna let her milk down.
- She's a little bit stressed out.
[mooing]
- Come on, sweetie, it's okay.
[intense music]
- [Swag] But after a few minutes
with Jesse the cow whisperer,
Brownie lets down her guard.
- Good girl.
- [Swag] A couple of gallons later
and Brownie's job is done.
- Come on, come on.
- [Swag] A bunch of local kids have come by
to wait for the milk to pasteurize.
But will they drink Monster Milk?
- Of course.
That's what I came here for, to drink milk.
[mouth harp twanging]
- [Swag] The circulating pump must be working
because the heat is rising.
- So, it's getting pretty close.
[mouth harp twanging]
- [Swag] Boom!
That's right folks, we got milk.
- It's a miracle.
What do you guys want, regular or chocolate?
- [All] Chocolate!
- Littlest first.
[upbeat banjo]
Here you go. - Thank you.
- You're welcome.
Gross?
- [Child] Thanks, will you come back?
- [Jesse] Yeah.
- Thank you.
- Here you go sweetie.
It's good?
Good.
You want some more? - Yeah.
- Okay, hold it real still.
[upbeat banjo]
- [Swag] Nothing satisfies like Monster Milk.
[mooing]
- That's good.
No, that's it, beat it.
[laughing]
- [Swag] But Jesse's got no time for builders that moo.
- [All] Moo.
- [Swag] Cows that won't move.
- Please.
- [Swag] Or guys dressed up in animal costumes.
[mooing]
He's got metal to burn, sparks to fly.
FedEx Monster Garage challenge
is just around the bend.
[mooing]
[musical sting]
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05x01 - Milk b*mb
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A team of five people with mechanical, fabricating, or modifying expertise was assembled to modify a vehicle into a "monster machine."
A team of five people with mechanical, fabricating, or modifying expertise was assembled to modify a vehicle into a "monster machine."