05x06 - The Crop Circler

[bunniefuu]

[mysterious music]

- Stupid UFO.

[heavy metal music]

- [Narrator] Join us now as Jesse

and his g*ng of Maverick Mechanics rip, grind, and burn,

transforming ordinary street vehicles

into monster machines in the "Monster Garage."

[heavy metal music]

♪ Monster, Monster

♪ Monster, Monster Garage

♪ Monster, Monster Garage

♪ Monster, Monster Garage

♪ Monster, Monster Garage

- [Narrator] The challenge.

Resurrect this 40-year-old tractor

that's been dead for over a decade

and transform it into an alien spacecraft

capable of making actual crop circles.

Crop circles?

They're intricate patterns

that mysteriously appear in fields of grain.

Some up to 1,000 feet in diameter.

Are they communications from other life forms

or elaborate manmade hoaxes?

Who cares?

We're gonna make our own.

The rules.

When built, the vehicle must appear to be extraterrestrial.

The team has five grand for parts.

Jesse and his crew have seven days and nights.

On the first day, they design.

For the next five, they build.

And on the seventh day, they fake an alien visit

and create their own crop circle.

If successful, they'll beam up with a $4,000 set

of Max hottest tools.

And Milwaukee Electric tool will donate a set of tools

worth over 2,500 bucks to a vo-tech school

of the builder's choice.

And the clock starts now.

[heavy metal music]

Day one, Jesse and Bodydrop lead a forklifting mission

into Monster headquarters.

[heavy metal music]

Out of the vortex appears a design team.

John Lundberg of London, England, master crop circle hoaxer.

Dale O'Dell, a graphic artist

infatuated with the paranormal.

Terry Holm, heavy equipment mechanic.

Brad Sutherland, electrician

and witness of the paranormal.

Travis Walton, mechanic and UFO abductee.

What?

Did I say UFO abductee?

Yes, the most famous ever.

They even made a movie about him.

[mysterious music]

Believers and hoaxers come together

to find common ground on a field of wheat.

- They're overtaking us.

They're overtaking us!

- Now, how do people look at that

and think that a spaceship did it?

"I don't know what that is.

It must've been aliens."

- There's theories that they're electromagnetically driven

and that when they get close to the ground,

it pushes it down like that.

Oh, I brought some wheat with me.

- [Narrator] Brad the believer Sutherland jumps in

presenting evidence to support his belief in crop circles.

- As you can see how high it was above the ground

that got bent over and it got broke off coming out here.

And they were all that way at that height.

- So this.

- Yeah, that come out of crop circle.

- Okay.

[mysterious music]

So I don't know where to start at on this one.

I'm used to making go fast, man.

I don't know anything about any aliens or anything. [laughs]

- As I see it, I think there are two things

that we have to nail down.

The first thing is just some way of Fl*ttening the crop.

- Yeah, Explain how it's done, how you do it.

- [Narrator] Master Hoaxer John Lundberg

shares some tricks of his trade.

- Well this, this is a photograph of the equipment

that we use and this is called a stalk stomper.

It's a four-foot plank of wood with a loop of rope

and it goes under one of your feet

and you just hold it like reigns and move forward.

When you go into the field,

you need to mark out the initial geometry,

kind of like a line drawing of the actual diagram.

And so, yeah, if someone would stand in the middle,

you'd bring a tape out

and then they would walk sideways through the crop

and as they walk through the crop,

they're leaving a foot line behind them

so they're actually like drawing a line in the crop.

- So what are your guys's thoughts?

I mean, if we can make this better, I mean,

should we drag like, you know,

because it has a hydraulic hoist on it.

- Make a roller. - For discs and just-

- Make a roller.

Make a roller and if you wanna have it

the way you've got it there, make feet on it

so that you can put it down

and it's only gonna go down so far.

- Yeah, like I think they do that thing for packing asphalt.

- Yes.

- But just make the feet thinner.

You know what I'm talking about?-

The thing that that's got

- You're talking about a pad foot, yeah.

- [Jesse] Yeah.

- And then just make it so it will not break it.

- [Narrator] This is shaping up

to be a straightforward build.

A tractor drawn trailer that will flatten the crop

but flatten it into what?

- [Jesse] Crop circles have already been done.

You know, you gotta do something different like that.

- [Dale] Oh boy.

- [Jesse] You don't think you could do it?

Now this could be...

- I could do it.

I don't have a track to do this.

- This could be circles.

You know.

And this could be circle here for the way it dips in.

- [Dale] And start standing.

- So these could be circles,

but we'll flatten out, you know, this part in here.

But we'll do something with these edges

that we couldn't get.

We're a circle.

We'll do big triangular piece

that maybe stamps down that, stamps down this section,

you know, something like that.

You know, if we do something like this,

it's a giant Maltese Cross.

- So you're gonna sneak out

in the middle of the night and do it subtly.

- Yeah. - Okay.

- But I can work out a construction diagram

and so we can actually come up with these figures

and I can actually outline these figures

in the crop for you.

And then you can bring the tractor in

and actually flatten to my outlines.

That for me, I think would work.

And then you'd get a really crisp, perfect crop circle.

- Okay.

- This thing needs to be able to raise and lower

- Right, it'll lower.

- I think it needs lots of flashing lights.

- Okay, extra lights.

- And then we need to hop, hop up the motor

if we can a little bit so it takes off really fast.

So whatever did that had a lot of flashing lights

and then it was gone.

[all laughing]

Okay.

That's it.

- [Narrator] First things first.

The team's gotta get the 40-year-old tractor running.

Then they'll construct and attach

a triangular-shaped rack of barrels to the rear.

The tractor's hydraulic system

will raise and lower the barrels

to flatten circles leaving a 200-foot Maltese Cross

in its wake.

[heavy metal music]

The design is sketched out,

but tomorrow, this better not be the only alien craft

flying in the garage.

[heavy metal music]

Day two.

The builders invade the garage.

[heavy metal music]

Held over from the design and hailing

from Snowflake, Arizona.

Logger, abductee and author Travis Walton.

At warp speed from Deep Space Oxnard, California

master mechanic and tractor specialist, Terry Holm.

From the wormhole over Burlington, Wisconsin.

A contractor, wiring expert,

and UFO spotter, Brad Sutherland.

Hailing from the far side of the moon,

Long Beach metal fabricator, Mark Bolen.

[heavy metal music]

And from the strangest place in the galaxy,

Los Angeles, pyrotechnician Dmitri Timokovich.

Captain James T Jesse welcomes his crew

to the Starship Monster Prize.

- I already met you.

- Mark.

- How you doing, Mark?

So you guys ready for this?

- Yeah. - Let's ride.

- So I think first things first,

I mean, we'll probably split up

and try to make this thing run.

You know.

I don't think the motor's seized or anything like that.

I just think it's been sitting for a while.

And that's it.

I mean, we're basically gonna make a rack

on the back with a set of discs,

but we'll make some discs out of solid wheels.

You know, maybe cut some pipe

or see if we can find some wheels, you know,

in like a pyramid shape with like a 50% overlap

so there's no wheat going in between it.

I think this is like pretty piece of cake.

I don't see this as being that tough, unless-

- The tractor works.

- Yeah.

Unless you guys get abducted or something

[all laughing]

and can't do it.

Yeah, you know.

[all laughing]

- Man down.

- Yeah, I'm standing on the other end,

but I think it's, you know, yeah.

So we'll just knock it out.

[heavy metal music]

- [Narrator] First question, can the crew

wake up this sleeping monster?

- Well, we're gonna see how our fuel system is first.

That's gonna be the main thing.

The tank could be plugged.

- Hear it?

I heard it. - Again.

- Okay, let it go.

[engine sputtering]

- And we have fuel so that's good.

All right.

- Whoa, this is nice.

- Watch out.

[engine sputtering]

- Come on.

[engine sputtering]

- [Narrator] The monster growls but doesn't want to roar.

Terry the tractor man is undaunted.

- I guarantee you, it'll start today.

What are you laughing at?

- [Narrator] Terry Holm is a down and dirty mechanic

and he's not too shy to say so.

- There's nothing mechanical that I'm afraid of.

The biggest thing I do is adding auxiliary hydraulic systems

to Hitachi or John Deere excavators

so they can run.

Hammers, crushers.

That's an art.

That's something either you have or you don't.

And I do it.

- [Narrator] Terry believes in artistic tractor expression.

But does he believe in UFOs?

- If an alien sh*t came with a big [censored] women

that wanted to take me away and took me away,

then I might believe.

But other than that...

We do have power.

That's good.

So no, our points are probably bad.

Points do not work.

We need a set of points.

We're gonna clean the carburetor and try and start it.

- Carburetor.

Well we're just checking to make sure it is not, you know,

got any crud inside

or make sure the float needle's in good shape.

Looks good.

- Filing points to see if it'll start.

We can get new points tomorrow.

We need it to start today.

- [Narrator] After a few masterful brushes to the plugs,

the team gives the tractor another try.

[engine sputtering]

[engine starting]

We have liftoff.

- Now what did I say?

What did I say?

Geez.

[heavy metal music]

- [Speaker] There we go.

It's working.

- [Narrator] The hydraulic arms work

and should be able to lift the trailer

but only after a mangled hydraulic system is restored.

- Tweaking a two, one, two, tweaking.

Hydraulics.

- Hydraulic oil.

That milky look isn't too cool.

- [Speaker] Nope.

- [Speaker] Been a little moisture in that hydraulic fluid.

- Oh, we got some chunks.

Motherlode.

- Trying to get all the pieces that were damaged out first.

Get all the bad hydraulic oil out

and then start repairing and replacing.

I think she'll live.

- I don't even know if we can buy that part anymore.

- [Narrator] It's nearing the end of their first build day

and Terry goes to the computer

to try to order new engine parts.

Meanwhile, this week's designer Dale O'Dell is going above

and beyond to make the most extra terrestrial depiction

the garage has ever seen.

- Any suggestions at this point?

- Nope, that looks great.

- I'm gonna darken the whole thing,

make it look like it's simulated at night.

And then I'm gonna put running lights

on like every well point the frame of the crop circle maker.

- Like kit from night rider?

- Oh yeah, I will. - All right.

My work here's done.

- [Narrator] After his computer search,

Terry has some devastating news.

- You may as well quit right now.

- Why?

- None of this is available.

So we either gotta go to a junkyard that, yeah.

- Yeah, he got a look on his face.

- That does these tractors

or else, we just throw in the towel right now.

- He's got a look on his face that's lying.

[Terry laughing]

It's a look of lie.

- All right, I can get it all for tomorrow.

- Perfect.

- [Narrator] Strong progress was made

on the first build day,

but there's a warp load of work still to do.

Monster Garage Factoid.

The people of Hertfordshire, England

spotted a formation in a field

and claimed the crop was flattened in a way quote,

"No mortal man was able to do the like."

Since the year was 1678

and the earth was the center of the universe,

they called it "The Mowing Devil."

[heavy metal music]

Day three.

Before the workday begins, Jesse and the team watch

one of the world's most famous hoaxers

demonstrate his craft.

- I'm using a tool that we call a stalk stomper,

which is essentially a piece of wood with a loop of rope

around it and it goes under one of my feet

and I just move forward in loping steps and behind me.

I've flattened the crop and people have been using these

since about 1976.

And the only other tool we use is a surveyor's tape.

- [Narrator] John Lundberg has startled the world

with huge and intricate crop circles

that to him are all in a night's work.

- There have been crop circles that have appeared

that I believe to be manmade, like the one

that's on my T-shirt and that has 409 individual circles.

It appeared in one night.

And if you walked from one side of the formation

to the other, it's 1,000 foot across.

Of course, I don't think that crop circles

are made by aliens.

I know they're not.

I mean, I spent over a decade creating crop circles

and I can give you probably the origin of 95%

of the circles that are out there.

So of course, they're manmade.

- Works better in wheat, but that's it. [laughs]

- Oh man.

[all laughing]

They fly me around the world and pay me money to do that.

- Doesn't take much to prove on that.

[all laughing]

- [Narrator] No more fun and games.

The team is beamed back to the garage

to discover Dell's finished artistic rendering

of the monster.

- Scary.

I don't know how we're gonna get it to float.

That's the problem.

- I wanna know how John's gonna make the Monster Garage,

you know, symbol.

- I can do it but not with that.

[all laughing]

- [Jesse] You need your alien wheat flattener.

- [Narrator] No parts have arrived

so the crew relocates to the back of the tractor

to plan the construction of the trailer's frame

- Barrel's what, like 24?

So if your attachments,

we gotta make sure it clears the backside of that barrel.

The frame could be square, then go back to a triangle.

- Yeah. - Yup.

- There you go. - That'll work

- Perfect.

- Everywhere where the tractor goes,

the barrel's gonna push everything

behind the tractor a little bit wider

so you won't see the treads.

- [Narrator] Fabricator Mark Bolen starts piecing out

the frame of the circle masher

with two by two inch steel tubing.

- They look close, don't they?

Perfect.



- Mark Bolen is all about the metal.

- My main focal is stainless steel hard line.

Fuel lines, brake lines, oil lines

like on Harley's.

The oil lines that come outta the oil tank

and stuff into the motor and all that

and do that in stainless.

So everything flows looks symmetrical

and it's pleasing to the eye when you do see it.

[heavy metal music]

Woo-hoo, that'll work.

[heavy metal music]

- [Narrator] The basic frame is complete.

Now for the piece which will be the ring's backbone.

- It's gonna be the upper bar.

It goes up to the top of the barrels for the third arm.

So when it pivots up, it's got a location point for it

to pick her up.

[heavy metal music]

Pretty stiff.

[heavy metal music]

- [Narrator] Just in time, Bodydrop

hands over the extender arm

that will attach backbone to hydraulics.

- This is gonna be the locator, the top one.

[lively music]

- [Narrator] Jesse rolls in and spots

the spaced out rendering.

- Are these the structural tubes going to heaven?

'Cause they fade out, you know. [vocalizing]

- [Narrator] This week, the talk in the garage

is not about extra horsepower but extra terrestrials.

- This theory, I theorized that they communicate

through brain thought instead of verbal.

If you've seen something in the sky,

would that change your mind?

- Probably not.

- I think UFOs are Santa Claus.

- You do? - Yeah.

- The green and red lights, man.

- Well you stop and think about it.

If they're in our skies and that that many years advanced,

There's-

- Well, you know, we could be just one giant habit trail

for them to watch.

You know, we could just be here for their amusement.

- Right.

- "Hey, look at those idiots

and what they're doing to each other."

- Where I come from, it's like there's been a alien ship

above our town for almost a year

- [Narrator] When it comes to the paranormal,

Brad is no stranger to the strange.

- I see entities ever since I was little.

You know, that look like a heat wave coming off the road.

Only they're right in my own living room.

Almost everybody says that's just paranormal guardians

that make sure that I stay out of trouble.

As far as our cameras, we pick up pictures of orbs.

People ain't gonna believe this,

but sprites, you know, the little wooden nymphs.

Basically just a lot of vortexes.

- I don't care, really honest, what,

unless some aliens come down

and wanna buy a bike, then you know, I like them.

- [Narrator] 855 gallon drums have arrived.

They'll become the crop flatters.

[heavy metal music]

Now for some circles of a different kind,

using eighth-inch steel, Jesse cuts reinforcements

that will keep the hollow barrels from buckling

under the pressures of crop circle creation.

[heavy metal music]

- Watch your back, guys.

- Okay, let's go get some jack stands.

- What a guy, Terry.

[heavy metal music]

Inch off the edge.

- That'll give us our edge right where it's at.

So if we cut one right in half, it'll fit perfect in there.

Our half and then the other half

should be able to go in here.

Okay.



So it'll work

- [Narrator] After two days of building,

the barrels are getting framed

but there's still no way to move them.

[heavy metal music]

Day four, the trailer construction

seems to be moving at hyper speed,

but the tractor still needs some TLC.

- We have here the new starter.

I'm gonna put this thing on.

It looks a little smaller.

They changed the design of the armature,

but the rest of it looks like it's gonna fit so.

See we got a little damage

to this gear here and the flywheel itself

is more chewed up than this naturally.

But hopefully, this new one will cure all that.

- [Narrator] Travis Walton is in the garage

because he's a skilled mechanic who knows

how to keep heavy outdoor rigs on the move.

But he's also here to tell his story.

The most famous UFO abduction case ever.

It all began on a cool Arizona night in November, 1975.

- There were seven of us riding in a crew cab truck.

We were working in the woods cutting trees.

And after a long day, sun had gone down.

We were headed out, headed home, driving down the road

and we caught side of a metallic disc hovering there,

outlining against the sky.

I threw open the door and headed out towards this thing.

I was just near this when I just felt this numbing shock

go through my body.

It was just like I'd been hit.

And I blacked out.

I was thinking that I'd been hurt somehow

and taken to a hospital

because I could see a form kinda moving

into my field of view.

And thought this was a doctor at first,

but when I could finally focus a little more clearly,

I could see the face of this creature.

And I just flipped out.

I just, I just totally lost it.

I was in hysteria.

They were pretty strong and I was still very weak

and they were able to get me down on that table

and put a mask over my face.

I just blacked out.

Boom, I just went out like a light.

It came to pretty quick.

It was cold.

I was lying on the pavement and it was dark

but there was a light above me

and I looked to see where this light was coming from

and just as I looked, it went off.

But I could see this metallic surface hovering there.

Bottom of a disc I guess.

You know, I could only see the bottom of it.

It was just there for an instant

and then it just shot up into the sky.

It was, you know, I was a young guy.

There was no pausing for reflection

and wondering about the future consequences.

Like, you know, young guys don't think about

what's gonna come about from their actions

until it's too late.

- [Narrator] UFO or no UFO, life goes on for Travis.

His experience inspired his book, "Fire in the Sky"

and a subsequent film adaptation.

But agreeing to be on Monster Garage

was not an easy decision.

- You know, I had a lot of misgivings coming into a project

that's sort of spoofing the spoofers about this.

But you know, I don't want anybody to get the wrong idea

because I'm dead serious about what happened to me.

- [Narrator] Meanwhile, Jesse decides to tackle an issue

of stellar importance.

Where he's gonna sit?

[heavy metal music]

- It's got a little rust on the seat area.

I think aliens attacked this seat.

Yeah, it's pretty jacked up.

Try to get this to work.

Aha!

[heavy metal music]

What do alien noses look like?

[heavy metal music]

- [Narrator] It's going to take some metal bending

to ready this seat for its mission.

Jesse heads off to West Coast Choppers to finish the job.

- I'm like fascinated by like spacecraft

and stuff like that.

I mean, I just always like think

that there's something out there

that's like better and more advanced

and more like, you know, something different than we are.

I think you know, there's probably another planet out there

or a few of them, they got stuffed

kinda like us but totally different.

If a spacecraft came to West Coast Choppers,

I'd definitely check it out.

- [Interviewer] But would you go on?

- I'd sell him some pipes. [laughs]

- [Narrator] Jesse's going to sculpt the seed

in his secret hideout at WCC.

This is a playroom full of vintage power hammers

where Jesse can focus on the thing he likes to do best.

Pound metal.

[heavy metal music]

- Looks like a tractor seat already.

[heavy metal music]

- Has a good size.

I got room to grow.

[heavy metal music]

- I am the humanoid that used to be Jesse.

[distorted audio]

[excited music]

[distorted audio]

Oh, man.

We've got some flex.

- [Narrator] At the rear,

the trailer is coming together nicely

and will be rolling in no time.

- We were gonna put these pillow blocks on the top,

which this whole unit's gonna have to go down to do that.

So instead, we're gonna put it underneath

and that'll raise this whole framework up a little bit.

And then the shaft will go through here

through the center of these barrels.

And that's what it'll roll on.

- [Narrator] Dmitri and Mark free up the barrels

in order to drill center holes for the axles.

- We're gonna put that shaft through these two barrels

so I can line them up together.

And this is gonna be our center barrel.

So we got a 1 1/2 size barrel for the middle.

Get it all lined up nice and perfect

and then get it in there on the blocks and it'll roll.

[heavy metal music]

- [Narrator] Mark welds cross braces

and Dmitri drills holes so the pillow blocks will lock in.

[heavy metal music]

- Lined it up as best as we could.

We're either gonna be heroes or zeroes.

- [Narrator] For pyrotechnician Dmitri Timokovich,

metal is cool but fire is bitchin'.

- It's every boy's dream to be able to blow things up,

set things on fire, not get in trouble.

Not only am I not getting in trouble,

I'm getting paid for it.

- [Narrator] His expl*sive talents can be seen

at a theater near you.

- Last year, I worked on Team America.

I worked on "Hellboy," "The Punisher"

and "Resident Evil 2."

Special effects of smoke mirrors

and crop circles are smoking mirrors.

It's all a hoax, so.

♪ And the merry go round go round ♪

♪ And the merry go round go round ♪

- Hey, there's something on the internet I saw last night.

The people are tired of you.

They're tired of the gimmicks of the small person/m*dget.

They don't know you actually work.

[heavy metal music]

- Give her a few love taps.

Come on through.

A little bit more.

Hold that.

[heavy metal music]

Yeah.

- Okay.

We ready to move this thing?

- Oh.

- It's got got some weight.

- Got a little tongue weight.

- [Narrator] If the crew can get this trailer

locked and loaded today,

tomorrow, they can focus on making

the hydraulics crop circle ready.

- Okay, you guys foot one guy, foot it.

Bring it down.

Yeah, if anything we got a badass straight skateboard.

- Look at that.

- We're gonna put some mounts,

weld some mounts onto the trailer here

and be able to hook into the three-point hitch.

Then we'll figure out where our third arm's gonna come down

and lock in as a pivot point, extra bracing there.

And with luck on our side, when we go to lift this up,

it'll just be nice and smooth.

[heavy metal music]

- Set number one.

[heavy metal music]

- So what we're doing right now is we're gonna make a cradle

so that we can cradle this pipe

'cause it's thin wall rather than just weld on the pipe.

We're gonna put the cradle around it,

we can weld all the way around then.

And then this will be connected to something

that's heavy duty.

[heavy metal music]

- That's so beautiful.

[heavy metal music]

- Let's make oh, looky looky.

Alien light.

Right here.

- [Narrator] For some end of the day inspiration,

the crew adds a few lights to the ship's hull

and Travis tries to make contact with Brad.

- Brad, use the force.

- Use the force? - Use the force.

- [Narrator] It's the end of day four

and the force is with these builders.

The crop crusher is assembled and welded in place,

but the crew has saved some crucial hydraulic issues

for the last two days.

It looks like pranks and partying

in the garage.

- What is wrong with that guy?

- [Narrator] And there's still two days left.

- Mount, boys.

- [Narrator] But don't count your crop circles

till the tractor's turning.

- We should fix that.

- I'm gonna try.

[heavy metal music]

- [Narrator] Day five.

The builder's heads might be in the stars,

but a neglected engine and hydraulic system

could get their high hopes grounded.

- Yay!

- [Narrator] Some major parts have finally arrived

and Terry's all over them.

- Transmission oil filter.

One point set.

- [Narrator] First comes the engine.

- See points, new ones.

- That always helps to have a good clean set of points.

- That doesn't need to be there.

- [Narrator] Then it's onto hydraulics.

This team has two days left

but Terry's working like they have two hours.

[heavy metal music]

The hydraulics seem to be complete

but before they can be put to the test,

another problem probes Terry.

[wheel squeaking]

- There's some washers in here that have to move

in order for the power steering to work

and it's probably seized in there.

- We should fix that.

- I'm gonna try.

- All right.

- [Narrator] The MG team is going to have to take

the whole body apart to get at the steering box.

- The nightmare.

Look at all that stuff that's gotta come off there.

All this, that can't come off till that comes off

that you know, everything's in the way

and then that linkage comes through the top

of that dash panel.

- Oh.

- [Narrator] While the rest of the builders

wait for the steering parts,

John plans out the ambitious challenge.

- So the first thing we do when we get into the field

is we need to mark down the perimeter circle.

And I do that literally by having a pole in the center

or a person having a tape measure out to the perimeter.

And then I sidestep through the crop

and as I sidestep, I leave a little foot ring.

And off of that circle, we then lay down a square.

On there, I need to find these center points

and they're gonna give us the construction points

for all of the arcs, which eventually, you'll see

give us the cross.

And so then Jesse is gonna have

to come in and drive his tractor

around all of these white areas.

And anything here that's white

is gonna need to be flattened.

And hopefully, if we don't make a mistake,

we should then have a perfect standing cross

in the middle of the circle.

- [Narrator] An unexpected phone call from Brad's wife,

Crop Circle Chaser Mary Sutherland

piqued the team's interest.

- What's that?

- [Mary] Did you guys jump the g*n

on this crop circle fabricator

and make a crop circle up here in Wisconsin?

- No. [chuckles]

- [Mary] Because we have a crop circle sitting 17 miles

outside of Burlington off Highway 83.

- It just looks hokey.

- [Mary] There's like two circles

and then around those two circles there's two rings.

- [Speaker] You know, I'm sorry, this one

just kind of looks really hokey to me.

- Could you explain why you think

that the crop circles you get over here in America

look pretty crude compared to the stuff

that we get in the UK?

- [Mary] Well it could possibly be a different race.

Maybe the ones over there are more evolved.

- Well Mary, I just wanna say good luck

and you know, I hope you do find the guy

behind the curtain pulling the levers.

- [Mary] Yeah.

- [Narrator] While Terry works on the tractor's front end,

Bodydrop works on the rear end.

- It stinks, it's gear oil.

What is wrong with that guy?

- [Narrator] The new steering parts have arrived

at warp speed and Terry can get to business.

- Got some bearings that are bad and a serious case of rust.

[heavy metal music]

- You remember how this thing wouldn't steer before?

Look at that.

[heavy metal music]

- How's that, Jesse?

Is that power or is it just the manual?

- No, but it has power steering, right?

- No that's the- - It does not.

- What was the gears just screwed up or?

- There was two bearings in here

that would totally, totally fallen apart

and then that's what holds the shaft

so it can turn the bottom so it feels better now.

- Oh.

It's awesome.

Oh man.

Yeah, it has like leverage now.

[excited music]

- Hey, here it goes.

[heavy metal music]

- [Narrator] It's only day five of six

and the crop roller nears 100% completion.

It moves, it turns, but does it lift?

- Sit on the end of that, would you?

Come on, you guys, get on there.

That's alright.

Get on there.

Be part of the team.

You gotta get up.

What, you gotta get on the other side.

Come on, there we go.

Ready? Here we go.

Look at that.

Mount, boys.

Look at that.

All right.

Done deal!

See that?

Done deal!

- Give me one of them.

[heavy metal music]

- [Narrator] Screw in a few more lights

and this spacecraft is ready for takeoff.

[heavy metal music]

- Steer's so much better.

- [Narrator] Now the interplanetary test

Captain James takes the Starship Monsterized into the field.

[heavy metal music]

It ain't wheat, but enough dead grass

for a day early test.

[heavy metal music]

Total success, the rig stays in the up position

and lowers when in the field laying down a path

in dried grass.

So it's going to do even better in ripe wheat.

[heavy metal music]

- Yeah!

- Cool.

Good job, guys.

That's only the second time ever.

Cool.

You guys want some tools?

- Yeah. - Yeah.

- [Narrator] The crop circle crew has accomplished

its mission a whole day ahead of schedule.

This is only the second build in Monster Garage history

to finish early.

- That was nice and that wasn't too hard, no?

Not a brain buster.

It's good.

Mac tools, motorcycle mania CDs.

Good job, guys.

- Thanks. Perfect. - See if we can-

- Thanks a lot. - Summon some aliens, man.

[all laughing]

- Nobody got abducted.

- Of course, you know if any aliens show up

to Monster Garage, you know what's gonna happen?

I'm gonna put them to work.

- There we go. [all laughing]

Start welding with your fingertip.

[all laughing]

- Yeah! - Yeah!

- [Narrator] After hanging out with these guys for a week,

there's still one last question that needs to be answered.

Are you an alien?

I had a whole battery of medical examinations

and I am who I am.

- I think Travis probably really was abducted by aliens

or something, you know, aliens or whatever he was.

Something definitely happened to him.

- If I'm an alien then, I mean,

I don't think I'd be able to tell you that.

- My girlfriend has said on many occasions

I could possibly be an alien.

- Well I believe that every thing

that you see in the movies is possible.

[distorted alien voice]

- I've always been an alien.

I've never fit in.

I'm a legal alien from Canada.

- [Narrator] Build cost tally.

Hard cash, $3,181.

freebie value, zip.

Vehicle cost, nada.

Total build cost $3,181.

[heavy metal music]

- [Announcer] Holy Heisenberg, principal Monster fans.

The big swag here with an extra dimensional challenge.

But before we figure out what planet we've landed on,

the monster needs some other worldly look.

[heavy metal music]

With his super string theory skills,

Pete Finland of West Coast Choppers puts

the finishing touches on this intergalactic tractor.

[heavy metal music]

And now, the monster's on its way.

But wait a minute, folks, you gotta be kidding me.

There ain't no stinking wheat fields out here.

There's Jesse under the influence of an extra terrestrial?

Yeah, right.

So what's going on, big guy?

- All right.

I know there's a bunch of people out there watching it.

They're probably really, really excited

about seeing this thing in some wheat field.

Bending it over at the stem, you know, all the weed over.

So it looks like some kind of pattern

that were made by spaceships.

But we're gonna do the right thing here.

We're not gonna do anything for the sake of TV.

We're just gonna take this out

to the sand dunes and blow it up.

- [Narrator] What, Jesse?

Why would you destroy this monster?

- This total build is one of those ideas

that kinda got a chuckle and I told people about it

but then when we actually did, it just...

There's no way to put it.

It just sucks.

You know, there's probably, you know,

a bunch of people out there, you know, that think otherwise

and they want everything to be like it is on happy TV

where every house makes it and all the people cry in the end

and everybody gets the prize

and it's always a heart well story.

Well that's not real life.

This is real life.

Five guys and me trying to make something happen.

And you know, we did make something happen

and it sucks this week so we're gonna do the right thing

and put it out of its misery.

- [Announcer] You gotta make kidding me.

But how is Jesse gonna vaporize the crappy crop circler?

Here comes Gary Herzog

from the Allegheny Pennsylvania Arms and Armor Museum

and he's brought just a thing to use.

- The Vietnam mirror flame thrower,

there are very few of them that are known to still exist.

This was not an envious job for a soldier

because the enemy quite often

would take out the flame thrower operator.

They didn't have the anti-inflammatory bladders in them.

Quite often, they would explode and burn.

The US military has deemed this weapon

to be of such a heinous, terrible weapon

that's no longer in the military arsenal.

- [Announcer] Too heinous for the military,

but just right for Monster Garage.

How this thing work anyway?

- This is where the hose will attach

that will dispense the fuel all to the g*n.

The fuel will be ignited at the nozzle

and will come outta here at under pressure

of about 1,400 pounds.

And this ball-shaped container holds the nitrogen.

The nitrogen will be pressured into these tanks

and will ultimately come out the nozzle.

[excited music]

- Let's burn something.

- [Announcer] Gary goes first

to make sure the flame thrower's working.

- Take that on. - You guys ready?

- [Jesse] eHell yes.

- [Announcer] And gives Jesse a front row seat

to some serious scorching power.

- [Speaker] That works fairly well.

- Yeah it does.

- [Announcer] All right, folks, enough practice.

Time for Jesse to be initiated into the exclusive world

of flame throwing and the demise of this monster.

- Okay, don't fire please.

That's ready to go.

- Okay, let's walk out here, okay.

It's like going backpacking with death,

- [Announcer] The moment of truth.

Will some intervention buy superior outer space

save for doom crop circler?

I don't think so.

[heavy metal music]

[heavy metal music continues]

[expl*si*n]

[heavy metal music]

Unbelievable!

He torched it like he stole it.

That's 'cause Jesse's got no time

for crop circlers that suck.

Aliens done on their luck

for playing by everyone else's TV rules

- [Jesse] After 80 something episodes,

I'm not gonna cheese out just for the sake of TV.

- [Announcer] He's got metal burn.

Sparks that fly.

The next Monster Garage Challenge

may well be out beyond your raiders.

[ambient music]