06x01 - I Tried to Prevent This

[bunniefuu]

I can hate what Michael
has done,

but I still love him.

He's still my son.

"Evil lives here"...

That may make people think
that this is an evil person.

Some of the actions
that he took are evil,

but he is not an evil person.

I've always felt that this is
a story that needs to be told.

I tried to prevent this.

I explicitly warned people.

I feel like I was jumping up,
waving red flags, hair on fire,

"help me, help me."

He's a danger to himself
and others!

I was afraid of my son,
but nobody would listen to me.

I prayed for guidance.

I prayed for a miracle.

Where do you go
when nobody listens?

- -Captions by vitac...
- www.Vitac.Com

captions paid for by
discovery communications

this is a picture of Michael
when he was first born.

He's so tiny, so tiny,
so brand-new.

I had two boys... 13 and 6.

I wanted a girl,

but Bob was really excited
about having another boy.

The other two boys, they were
always very supportive with him

and took their duties
as big brother very seriously.

And we were all very happy
to have him in our lives.

He was a blessing.

I never expected to have
any issues.

I expected it would be
very similar to the experience

we had
with our other two boys,

and everything would be
smooth sailing.

That was not to be.

I noticed early on that
there was some things

a little bit different
about Michael

than what I had seen
with my other two boys.

When he was actually
at a day care,

and I was working,
he liked to just sometimes

harass the other children
and the day care provider

to see how far he could push.

He would want to escape
the house or,

at nap time, he would go around,
wake up all the children,

and then when he had
all the children awake,

then he would lay down
and take a nap.

I thought maybe it would be best

if I were to go out
of the workforce,

open my own daycare center where
I would still have an income,

which we needed to have,

but I would be able
to be there all day

and keep an eye on Michael.

Oh, hey.

You need some more milk?

Can I get you some more milk,
sweetie?

It started out fine.

They were wonderful little kids.

They were so well-behaved.

I had an infant that I watched.

It was the sweetest little baby.

It was my own child
that I could not handle.

The minute he's out of my sight,

he's gonna do something
that he shouldn't.

And I went, I think,
in the kitchen

to heat up a bottle,

and Michael climbed up
in our armchair,

and he was standing
on the arm of the chair,

and I thought, "he's gonna
jump on this baby."

I think his intent was,
"I'm going to disrupt this

and get the attention
of my mom."

Michael,
what are you doing?

Get down from there.

My thought was,
"this is too dangerous."

There was no doubt about it.
The baby would have gotten hurt,

and I could not take that risk.

Honey,
what are you doing?

Nothing.

Well, why did you
climb up there?

Were you gonna jump?
No.

I had to close that day care

because I could not
handle Michael.

Why don't you go upstairs
and play by yourself

for a little while, okay?

I could never let my guard
down with Michael, ever.

I had to travel for work
at one time.

I got a call from Bob that
Michael had been at the park,

and he said that somebody
had stolen Michael's bike

and punched Michael in the nose
and gave him a bloody nose,

but then Michael
had come home again

the next day
with another bloody nose,

and then he'd get
another bloody nose.

Something just wasn't right.

There was something there
that just wasn't right.

It seems a little odd to me

that he'd pop up
with these bloody noses.

So I asked him about it.

When I got home, I said,
"you know,

I don't really believe
that you're getting hit

and getting these bloody noses."

Michael, what is going on?

You can tell me.

And he admitted to me that,
yeah,

that he had never gotten hit.

Because you're
always at work,

and I never get
to see you anymore.

I was out of town, and so he
was upset that I was gone,

and Michael had learned that,
"if I give myself a bloody nose,

then I get some sympathy."

I have to travel
for my job.

It's not because
I don't want to be here.

Well, I just don't like it.

I just thought it was very odd
that he would...

Do that kind of a behavior
to get attention,

but I talked to him about it,
and it never happened again.

So I didn't see that
as a red flag.

These dreams were not normal
childhood nightmares.

Michael would have them, I mean,
night after night after night.

He would wake up in the middle
of the night,

and he would come
into our room.

It was always that people
were after him.

People were gonna get him.

People were gonna hurt him.

Oh, Michael.

Are you okay?

Can I sleep with you?

And this kid is terrified.

Made me feel really sad
that this little boy

is having these horrible,
scary dreams.

Did you have
another nightmare?

They were trying to get me.

Who's "they"?

Okay, get in.

He'd come in and just crawl in
and sleep next to me.

But there seemed to be
more to this.

It was around this time
he started drawing pictures.

He would sit in the living room,
and he would color.

What are you doing?

You've been drawing
for a while.

I'd ask him, "oh, what is this
that you're drawing?"

They were people with knives,
and the knives would be,

like, dripping blood,
and they were gonna get him.

They were after him.

What are these
supposed to be?

And he'd tell me, "well, this is
what I dreamt about last night.

This is the person
that's chasing me."

Are all these pictures
from your dreams, too?

And he had to do things
to protect himself.

Where is this coming from

from this little,

rather innocent child?

I've never seen such
violent drawings.

It just was unreal.

He would continue
the drawings for years,

and the nightmares continued
for many, many years,

but I had talked
to the doctors about it,

and they said, "well, you know,
some kids just have nightmares."

So we tried not to make
a big deal about it...

...but I never understood
where the violence came from.

Dad! Mom! Help me!

Michael had come in
in the middle of the night

with a knife...

Get away from me!

...and held that knife
above my son's head.

I never slept very well.

I became a very light sleeper.
Little noises...

Sometimes it was
just creaking of the house,

sometimes it would be Michael.

We had trouble keeping him
in the bed, and he'd get up,

and he'd wander around
the house and do things,

and he was getting
more attracted to knives.

There was one night
I heard a noise in my room,

and when I woke up,
there was Michael

sitting on my bedroom floor
with a bar of soap,

and he was cutting up
this bar of soap with a knife.

Michael!

It scared me
that he's got a knife,

and he's doing this
in the middle of the night.

What are you doing?

Playing.

I just kind of slowly got out of
bed and walked over to him.

Honey...

Michael.

Give mommy the knife.

Sweetie.

Took the knife away
and explained to him,

you know, "you shouldn't
be doing this."

Knives aren't toys.

You could really
hurt yourself.

Okay.

And I took his hand,
and I put him back into bed.

And then there was one morning
I woke up,

and all the kitchen chairs had
a plastic covering on them...

...and he had taken a knife

and just poked holes
all over these chairs.

You could see little slices
in all the seats.

Honey!

Again, it was a
middle-of-the-night

activity that he had done.

Michael, come in here!

Why would you do this?

And he's like, "I don't know.
I just did it.

I don't know why."

No reason.

I have a feeling that he woke up
from his nightmare,

and this idea of somebody
chasing him

with a knife was in his head,
and he got a knife,

and he acted out
some of the things

that he had been
dreaming about.

Honey, we talked about this.

You're not allowed to play
with knives.

And so we had to take all
the knives out of the drawers.

We put them in
a special container

so they were really hard
to get to,

made sure all the knives
were taken away.

Why don't you go
get ready for school?

But there was, like, two knives
in this one drawer.

I hadn't even thought about
the knives in that drawer.

Mom! Dad!

One night, Michael had gone
into our older son's room

and woke him up.

Mom! Dad!
Help me!

And he hollered out,
"dad, dad!"

Dad! Dad!

And so my husband went in there,

and Michael had come in
in the middle of the night

with a knife and held that knife
above my son's head.

- Michael!
- Tell him to get away from me!

Drop it!
Get away from your brother!

And my husband got the knife
away, got him calmed down,

got our other boy settled down,
that it was gonna be okay.

Are you okay?

And my husband talked
to Michael,

got him settled back
into his bed.

I don't know why Michael
went in there.

The only thought I could have
was that somehow,

he had had one of his dreams
about people chasing him,

and somehow, he ended up
in Rick's room.

We were afraid of what
could've happened

and kind of realized
now we need

to really protect
the people in the house, too.

So we started locking
our bedroom door.

We had locks on all the doors
and cupboards

and everything just to try

to keep
everything secure from Michael.

Bob built a loft bed
and put Rick up in a loft bed

so you'd have to
climb up into the bed.

That was a safety measure, too.

I was very upset.
I just...

I couldn't believe that my son
had behaved like this.

Something is really
going on here.

The behavior he was showing
was a huge red flag.

I need to bring him in to see
a counselor or a psychologist

and talk through
what this issue is,

but I never felt like
we got any answers.

His behavior is so abnormal.

A kid at this age experiences
a lot of developmental changes

in a very short
amount of time.

They didn't think that he was
a child that had some troubles.

They thought, "he is
just a troublemaker."

They could put him
on medication,

see how he does on medication.

Look, I'm sorry to say,

but those
are your only options.

I think one was ritalin,
one was Adderall,

but he turned into a zombie.

No.

What I was looking for
was some parenting tips,

maybe better ways
to discipline him,

things that I could do
to improve his behavior.

There's nothing more I can do.

And he said that I was
being a bad parent...

Now, if you'll excuse me.

...and that Michael needed
to be locked up,

and I was dismissed.

I was so angry,
and I was so frustrated.

What am I supposed to do now?

I need help.

I can't just go lock up
this kid.

I should not have let him
dismiss me the way he did.

I should've advocated more.

I should've stood my ground
and advocated more for Michael,

and I didn't,

and I regret it.

His behavior has gotten
out of control.

He had had thoughts about
hitting her in the head

with a hammer.

I'm afraid of him.

He might have these thoughts
about me.

One day Michael was out playing,
and someone came to the door.

Hello? mrs. Swanson,

this is the last straw.

The neighbor told me
that Michael had a knife,

and he was threatening
another child with this knife.

Your son threatened
my child with it!

I'm so sorry.

Now it's gone from
inside of our house.

Now it's outside of our house.

Next time,
I'm calling the cops.

I'll deal with this.

This won't happen again.
I am so sorry.

Michael!

He was very cavalier about this.

It was like, "oh, mom.
It's no big deal.

They didn't really mean
anything about it.

It's gonna be okay.
Don't worry about it, mom."

What in the hell
has gotten into you?!

What's the big deal?
I was just playing around.

Knives aren't toys.

We've talked about this!

Well, he was never really
very remorseful

when he would get
caught doing things.

He was more sorry
that he got caught

than for what he had done.

We recognized that there's
something not right here.

You know what?
This has gone too far.

There is something wrong
with you.

Whatever.

- Michael!
- Michael!

We took him to a behavioral
emergency center.

They felt we were being
hysterical parents

and that really this isn't
as big of a deal

as we were trying
to make it out to be.

They said their hands were tied.

They had no place for him to go,

and so they were just
going to send him home.

I was livid.

He's thinking about
hurting people.

He's a danger to himself
and others.

Nobody cared.

Bob had gotten a job
at a coin shop.

The owner of the shop was a
little concerned about security.

So when he was at the shop, he
would have his sidearm with him.

So Bob had purchased a small,
square safe.

That's where he had
stored his handgun.

He had some money in there.

We thought that was secure,
but one day,

Bob went down to the safe
to get some of the money out

that he had in there...

...and found
that the money was gone

and that somebody
had touched the g*n.

It had a little laser
light thing on it,

and they had left that on.

So we had confronted
Michael with this.

We had Michael sitting
at the kitchen table,

and Bob was grilling him for
a couple hours in that chair.

I said don't play
stupid with me.

What are you talking about?

And the kid is not saying
anything.

He's just like,
"I didn't do anything,"

just denying everything.

All right, Michael,
why don't you tell me

where the money went
'cause we both know

it didn't just up
and walk out of the safe.

Like I said, it wasn't me.

And Bob was like,
"I know you took this money.

I know you did this,"
and Michael's like,

"nope, nope, nope, nope."

But finally, Michael said,

"okay, yeah. I did that."

Fine. Screw it.

I took the money, okay?

I took the money.

I touched the g*n.

You guys are ridiculous.

"I don't understand
what the big deal is.

I just took the money,
and I bought some drugs,

and nobody is hurt,
so why is this a big deal?"

I think he was motivated
to get the money,

didn't know that there was
that g*n in there,

and then when he saw it,
he had to touch it,

but he did not show
a whole lot of remorse.

He did not.

Michael?

I came home from work one day,
and Michael was gone,

and couldn't find him
anywhere.

He had broken into our safe.

I could see a paper
where he had written down

all the combinations
as he was trying to figure out

the combination for the safe,

and he took the money
and the g*n, and he ran away.

Now he has a g*n.

We have to do something.

Michael?

When I got home, he was gone.

He had broken into our safe,
and he had taken this g*n.

We called the police.

Thank you
so much, officer.

When they found him, he was
hiding at his friend's home...

Oh, Michael.

...and I had asked him,
"why did you run away?

What caused this?"

And his response to me
at that time

was that he had
to leave the house

because he had thoughts
about hurting me

and that he did not
want to hurt me.

Sometimes I'm afraid
I'm gonna...

I want to...

You want to what?

I know my son loves me.

I know that I love my son,

but I know that he has
these thoughts,

and would he really act
upon these thoughts?

That I didn't know.
I had no idea,

and that unknown
and that fear...

...is horrible.

Bob was at the cabin.

Both of my older boys
were out on their own.

I was home alone with Michael
and locked the bedroom door,

and I remember
laying in that bed,

listening to every creak
of the house,

wondering,
"is he coming after me?"

It was scary.

So we took a really large wrench
out of the garage,

and we actually had
that next to our bed.

In case he were to come
into our room,

we would have something.

That is a horrible thing
to think

that you need to have something
to protect yourself

against your son, just in case.

If he came in our room at night,

and we felt like we had to,
like, hit him with that wrench,

could we have
actually done that?

I don't know if we could've
actually done it.

We're like, "okay,
now what do we do?"

The police liaison officer
that found Michael

felt that he really needed
to have a 30-day evaluation

where he would be in, like,
a group home.

So we agreed that
this was a good idea.

So Bob and I drove him
to this group home.

He would be there for 30 days.

When we left that day,
I left with a feeling of hope

that we're gonna
get somewhere now.

They called me, and they told me

that they had an incident
with Michael.

Listen, I wish there was
something I could do to help,

but given the events
that have taken place,

your son
is too much of a risk.

Michael had gotten upset
with a counselor.

He had taken a fire
extinguisher off the wall,

sprayed it at a counselor.

Plus, they said he threw
the fire extinguisher

when he was done,
so that was as*ault.

Michael has been
antagonizing our staff

since the moment
he's arrived.

She said they did not feel that
they could handle him there.

We have no other choice but to
discharge him from the facility.

She said that we let this child
hit rock bottom

and we should remove
our parental rights

and just let him fall
to the bottom of the barrel,

and he was 14.

I was a wreck.

You don't just let a young,
adolescent kid

fall to the bottom
and not do anything

because you don't know
what to do.

There should be hope
for this kid.

Is there anything that we can do
to reconcile the problem?

If I were you, I'd turn him
over to the system.

I told her I would do anything.

This is our lifeline.

We're desperate.

I don't know what else to do.

And if you
take this lifeline away from us

and just send us home,
what do we do?

What do we do?

I'm begging you,
please keep him here.

We've done what we can.

And she just said, "I'm sorry.

There isn't anything
I can do to help you.

You need to take
your son and leave."

These are his
discharge papers.

Good luck.

And that's what we did.

When Michael was convicted
of the as*ault on the counselor,

he was given restitution
to pay $2,500 back,

and the county would give him
so many credits of money

for so many hours
of volunteer work.

So my sister volunteers
at an old-time park with, like,

schools and churches
from the pioneer days.

I called my sister.
I told her,

"I think it would be good
to get him away,"

and she's like,
"oh, yeah. Sure."

Thank you so much
for doing this.

Of course.

So Michael would go spend time
with my sister.

I think this is a good idea
for everyone.

Right, Michael?

They paint picnic tables,
buildings, whatever,

and then he would
collect volunteer hours

to help pay his restitution.

So have
a safe drive back.

All right. Thank you.
Okay.

My sister had been trying
to get a hold of me.

She really needs
to talk to me.

When I met with my sister,
Michael stayed in the car,

and she was visibly upset.

I really wanted to help
you guys out,

but I just don't think
I can handle this right now.

She had told me that he had
stolen money

from the place
where they had volunteered.

He denied it.

She searched his suitcase
and found the money.

His behavior has gotten
out of control.

And then she said she went
to open the trunk of her car,

and her husband's g*n
was in the trunk.

Only person that could've
put the g*n in the trunk

was Michael...

Everyone is scared of him.

...and her keys for the car
were missing,

and her cell phone
was missing.

Now she's scared.

She was afraid he had thoughts
of hurting her.

I shouldn't have
burdened you with him.

I'll figure this out.

I was very concerned to think
that he would even think

about hurting my sister.

She's so good to him.

They're so close.

The thought that...

He could've hurt her just is...

The terror she must've been in,

alone out there with him.

You really scared
your aunt.

I asked Michael if he had
had thoughts

about hurting my sister.

You wouldn't do that,
right?

Only if I had to.

What does that even mean?!

Why would you have to?!

He said he was gonna get
his friend,

and then they were
going to run away,

and to get money,
they're gonna Rob taco bells,

and she was preventing him
from doing what he wanted,

and he thought
he might have to hurt her.

I wanted the car, and she
wouldn't give it to me.

So?
So it made me angry.

The sheriff decided to go
ahead and press charges.

Because the sheriff
filed the charges,

they decided
that Michael needed

to be put into
a criminal juvenile center,

and I'm thinking, "okay, now
we're gonna get some help."

But the judge sent him home.

They decided that Michael
had been behaving himself.

He had a good family.

They would stay this sentence.

That was crazy to me.

I felt like this is
like a broken record.

No matter where we go,
we can't get him any help.

He was really well-behaved,

he did really well in school,
he got a job.

It was good to see that
he's moving on and growing up,

and it's like
a new chapter starting.

He was a sweet, caring,
loving kid.

It was a hopeful time.

The morning that Michael
had disappeared,

I wasn't concerned
about anything.

Went to wake him up...

Michael,
it's time to get up.

...and I didn't hear
anything from him.

Michael?

The door was shut.

I opened the door.

It was cold,

and the screen
was off the window,

and Michael was gone.

I looked out in the front,
my truck was gone,

and my heart just sunk...

Bob!

...and I woke up Bob,

and I told him
that Michael has disappeared.

For a couple years,
he did really well,

but I think it was
a mother's intuition.

It was a feeling like this time,
it was different.

We stayed at the house

trying to figure out
what was happening.

Well, are you sure
it was him?

I mean, couldn't it be
someone else?

My father-in-law said that
somebody had broken a window

into the cabin,

and grandpa had realized
that g*ns were missing.

We started to panic.

Is this kid gonna come back
to the house

now that he has a g*n?

What are you doing?

We gotta
protect ourselves.

Bob had his p*stol 'cause
he wanted to be armed

in case he needed to defend us
against Michael.

He's talked to us about having
thoughts about hurting us.

Is he now gonna come back
and hurt us?

I'm gonna call
the cops.

Just call me if you hear
anything, okay?

I was watching the bank account

to see if there was any more
transactions coming through

to get an idea of maybe
where this kid was headed.

I got a bad feeling
about this.

We just decided we're gonna
search the Internet,

see if we can find any,
like, news articles.

We had come across
this breaking news article,

and it's about
a convenience store sh**ting.

We are being told
a 17-year-old man

from Minneapolis entered this
crossroads gas station

in algona around 9:15
and robbed the store,

sh**ting and k*lling
the 55-year-old woman

who worked there
in the process.

And then there was a report of
another one that had happened,

and that convenience store clerk
was also k*lled.

An hour later,
the same teen

drove to this kum & go
in humboldt

where he shot
and k*lled another clerk,

this time a 60-year-old woman.

Both murders appear to be

completely senseless
acts of violence.

There was no name.

There was just a location
and what had happened.

It was very brief.

I just remember...

Just looking at that
and looking at Bob,

and I'm like,
"I think that's Michael."

And it was the same officer

who had been at our house
the day before

when we reported
Michael missing.

He told us.
He said,

"I am so sorry
to have to tell you

that Michael was involved
in some shootings.

He k*lled two women in a robbery
attempt at a convenience store."

It was heartbreaking.
It was heartbreaking.

What happened?

What caused this?

I thought I was gonna have
a nervous breakdown.

I was so upset.

I could not stop crying.

Michael.

My thought was that the cops
were gonna find Michael,

he would point a g*n
at one of them,

and they would sh**t him.

But they were able
to arrest Michael

in a neighboring town.

We saw footage of Michael being
escorted to the courthouse,

and the footage was very odd,

and he was kind of laughing.

I knew when I saw that video

that he was not
in his right mind,

and then we were told
Michael had confessed

to what he had done.

And this is what we saw
consistently with him.

When he would do things wrong,

he would be more sorry

about getting caught
doing what he did

versus the... really
understanding of what he did.

He's got this flat tone.

He, you know, has no... says he
has no emotion about this.

It's like he's not there.

It's a shell of him
that's there.

I tried to prevent this.

I explicitly warned people,

but nobody would listen to me.

Verdict of this jury
is as follows...

We find the defendant guilty
of m*rder

in the first degree,
signed foreperson.

He's laughing.

Yeah.

Totally odd,
just totally bizarre.

They thought he was
a psychopath.

I don't believe that's true.

He told me that he was
so self-conscious

and everything of all
the cameras being on him.

All he could do was
just laugh about this,

but I don't know if he really
gets the whole impact

of what a death is,

that they're gone forever.

That's Vicky bowman-hall.

She was the mother
of 11 children...

...and...

...my heart breaks
for those children,

her husband...

...trying to raise
those children without her.

This is Sheila.

This was the second clerk
that was k*lled.

She was married,
and she had two daughters

and some grandchildren.

It's a tragedy.

It's a tragedy.

I'm just so sorry.

I'm just so sorry.

How did we end up here?

I blame myself.

I failed my son,
and I failed these women,

and I failed their families.

I failed to get him
the help he needed.

I went through
a period of time there

where I just didn't know
if I was going to go on.

I was very suicidal.

It took a really long time
to try to get back to normal.

I spent a lot of time at church.

We tried to just gather up
our lives and try to carry on.

We've kept close contact
with Michael.

We keep in touch with him
on the phone.

We visit him as often as we can.

I hate what he did,
I'm ashamed of what he did,

but I'm never gonna
stop loving him.

I understand that he needs
to be punished for this,

but he's my son, and I
have unconditional love for him.

I'm his mother.

Family is family.

My only hope is that
in telling this story,

that if there is
another Michael out there,

if you feel there is something
wrong with your child,

be a strong advocate for them.

Trust in your instincts.

Don't let the...

Doctors and professionals
push you aside.

Be stronger than I was,
and just keep pushing.

We saw the signs,

and this is everything

I was hoping wouldn't happen.