09x05 - They Said I k*lled My Brother

[bunniefuu]

This is difficult
for me to do.

It's extremely difficult.

There's several family
members that

aren't happy
that I'm doing it.

But I'm not here to...
To make my family

look bad by any means
or anybody look bad.

If anything was gonna come
out and be discussed

about Eric,
I wanted it to be the truth,

and it was gonna be done
on my terms.

This is my brother.

If my brother can do
something like this,

then anybody can do
something like this.

I carried that burden
for a long time

that I was responsible.

I loved Eric.

I know something
was wrong with him.

I couldn't fix it.
He's been called evil.

He's been called a monster.

Do I think he was evil?

Sure.

Wouldn't you have to be
evil to do something like that?

This was taken
at our church in Arkansas.

It's my parents,
every one of my siblings.

It's a loving family in this
picture, and it's before things

went really crazy.

Eric's standing behind me.

I am the seventh child
out of eight,

and Eric is five years older
than me.

I have a big smile on my face.

But I never liked having
my back to him,

not even in photos.

To most,
he just looks like a handsome

teenage young man
that's polite

and standing there with
his family.

But he...

was not like the rest of us.

He was like a chameleon.

He could turn into whatever he
thought somebody needed him to

be in order to get whatever it
is he needed from them.

Looking at him,

the picture makes him look
handsome and sweet,

and... but at this age,

that's the farthest
from who he was.

Not too many people, if any,

really knew what
he was capable of.

I do believe that Eric

was born a psychopath.

I think he needed help
at a very early age.

He couldn't handle "No's,"
he couldn't handle

anybody trying to correct him.

He was very defensive
at all times,

and anything could
trigger him.

One night,
all of the siblings were

at the dining room table
playing cards,

and Eric was fine.

It was normal.

Everybody was laughing.

Everybody was having
a good time.

But I think he was cheating.

He thought he was gonna win,
and he didn't win doing that.

Sorry, Eric, cheat all you
want, you're still gonna lose.

And, I mean,
he literally jumped up.

I wasn't cheating!

Just the cards went
all over the table,

and he just, like,
stormed out of there.

He just snapped...
It was like a switch.

It was like he couldn't
control it.

Come on, Eric.
Don't be such a baby. Come back!

When he did come
back in, he wasn't apologetic.

Help us pick these up.

When he got angry
or if something was said

that he didn't like,
his eyes seemed to get dark.

He would have his fist
just as tight as he could,

and he had this look
on his face.

His lips would be tucked in,
his eyes would be narrowed.

And it was almost like
he was huffing.

And I learned that look at

a very early age,
and it was frightening.

It was extremely frightening.

We had rules.

We didn't grow up
in a naked house.

The girls changed in their
room with the door closed.

The boys had their room.

We didn't share the bathroom
with the boys.

The first time that I recall
him sneaking up on me,

I was in the bathroom.

There was this closet
behind the bathroom door.

I didn't really realize
he was in that closet

until I was finished
using the restroom.

And when I saw the door
to the closet move,

I didn't know
who was in there.

So I had reached to the door,
and out pops Eric,

and he just started laughing.

You scared me.
I'm telling mom.

You better not.

Then he said, "If you tell
anybody I was in here,

I'll tell 'em you were lying."

And it made me
so uncomfortable.

It just gave me this feeling
of, "Wow,

"I've got to check behind
the bathroom door now and open

that closet next time I decide
to go to the restroom."

That wasn't uncommon for him
to do things like that.

He enjoys scaring...
Scaring us

and frightening us,
and... it was...

who he was.

My neighbor,

her daughter got a duck
for Easter,

and they didn't want
to keep it.

So they asked me
if I wanted it,

and I begged and begged
and begged to keep it.

And so my mom finally gave in.

I named it
Yellow Belly Quack Quack.

She would follow me
all around the yard,

all around the neighborhood...
I loved her.

I was like her mom.

And one day, I remember laying
on my bed with

the window open, and I was
reading a book and, um,

I could smell the grass
that had been cut.

I remember smelling that.

And then I just remember
hearing a commotion,

and I just kind of,

you know, didn't pay
much attention.

And then I could kind of
see out

the corner of my eye my
brother coming down the hall.

And he gets in my room, and...

he has my duck in a box.

And he said,
"The dogs got your duck."

And I'm like, "What?"

Eric's just standing there,
holding the box, like, nothing.

It was like no emotion,
no emotion whatsoever.

And my duck is just crying and
making these horrible noises.

I'm looking at her,
and I'm like,

"This is not something
a dog would do."

I mean, it was like one of
her wings was almost gone.

You could see her insides.

It was not a dog attack.

Mom! Mom!

My mom came in the room,

and she asked
what was going on,

and Eric immediately said, um,

"Some dogs got the duck,
and Belinda's upset."

And so Mom told Eric,

"Finish her off and bury her."

You need to do it quick
so she won't suffer.

I just remember
getting in my closet.

I just sat in there and cried.

I don't know how long
I was in that closet,

and, um, Eric came back

and opened the closet door

and he said,
"Oh, I just wanted

to tell you I buried
your duck alive."

Yellow Belly was still crying
when I buried her.

"But I'm sure she's dead now."

That's what he said.

He goes,
"Dogs didn't really get her.

I ran over her
with the lawnmower,"

and he laughed.

It was like you could see
his teeth and everything smile.

It was like...

pride almost,
because he could just see

the shock and hurt in my face.

He enjoyed hurting me.

He enjoyed hurting my duck.

It's not normal behavior
for anybody.

It's just not normal.

I stayed in that closet

the majority of the day.

I just sat there with
the doors closed in the closet.

I cried myself to sleep.

That was never brought
up again.

It's just one of
those things that

happened that you just
don't speak about.

I never got over that.

Sorry.

It's just cruel.

It's just so cruel.

And he was happy about it,
which made it worse.

That left...

a deep wound on me.

He knew right from wrong.

I know he knew right
from wrong.

I think that there were just
these urges that

he had, and he had
to act out on 'em.

I don't know why
he felt the need to t*rture me.

It was just something
Eric did,

and he did it
on a regular basis.

I could be sitting in
a room watching cartoons,

and he would come in
and start pacing,

and he would have
his fist drawn up and just...

Just the breathing.

And if I was engrossed in
the TV, in a cartoon

or something, you know,

I would be sitting there
watching it, not really paying

that much attention.

He actually would grab my hair
and, like,

yank my head back and forth
just hard.

He'd twist my arm really,
really hard,

and, like, he would literally
pull my arm up

as high as he could,
and I would be screaming,

and he would say,
"Does that hurt?"

Ow! Stop it! Let go!

And of course
you're saying, "Yes.

Please stop."
But it didn't make him stop.

It was an intentional hurt.

He's laughing about it,
like it's a game to him.

Eric, Let go of her.
Stop it! Stop it!

To him, it was funny...
My younger sister,

to my knowledge,
he never picked on her.

And I always thought,
"What did I do

to make him want to
hurt me?"

I would talk with my mother
about it.

She said she would
take care of it,

but I don't believe my mom
knew exactly how to handle him.

She thought if she could
protect him

and guide him,
that she could fix him.

I actually stopped telling my
mom when he would hurt me.

Because no matter
what he did to me,

there was no consequences.

There was no kind of action.

So I had to realize that Eric

wasn't gonna change
when it came to me.

I was...
I was an easy target,

As Eric and I got older,

he would find new ways to,
um, hurt me.

It was just...
Just who he was.

There was a pool that was just
a few blocks from our house.

I loved to get in the water
with everybody else,

but I could be playing,

and then,
all of a sudden, you know,

there goes my hair,
and I'm being pulled under.

I knew immediately that it was
Eric, and underwater

I went, I was
at the bottom of the pool,

and I could not get up.

He's standing on me.

My eyes were open and I could
see him through the water,

him looking down at me.

I'm thinking, "I'm gonna drown,

and nobody's gonna know,
I'm gonna drown."

And then all of a sudden,

I could see there was somebody
else's legs there.

Somebody pushed him,
moved him off of me.

And I come up,
and I'm choking.

I remember crying

just hysterically.

When I told my sister
what had happened,

she was very concerned.

You stay here.
I'll go get mom.

No, don't.

She said she was gonna
go tell mom and dad,

and I just would beg her not
to do it, because I didn't need

him to do something worse

next time...
With Eric, you never knew

how much worse it would be.

This is Eric, I believe
it would be ninth grade.

It's about the age
where he started

getting into more trouble
outside of the home.

I've never liked
this picture of him.

This smile that
he has on his face,

I've seen that smile,
and it's so fake.

And it's almost that smile
where I got away with something,

the same smile
when he tortured my duck,

the same smile when he told me
he buried her alive.

I stayed as far away
from him as I could.

Eric was getting in trouble
with the law at this point,

because police officers were
already showing up at our house.

One day,
a police vehicle pulled up,

and my dad goes outside to
speak with them,

and then my mom follows.

They were out there
for a while and,

you know, you just wonder
what happened.

And then my mom came in
and got Eric,

and he went outside
and talked with them.

I constantly asked questions.

Do you know
what's going on?

Then one of
my siblings had said

something about he vandalized
the school.

Another one said something
about that

they were told that he
and one of his friends

had robbed a grocery store
that they had been working at.

His anger wasn't just in
the house anymore.

It was out there.

He lashed out at people
the same way he lashed out

at me.

As Eric got older,

it wasn't uncommon for
the police to come to our home,

and the more frequently
they came,

he had to have done something
really bad for them to

keep coming,
but I didn't know what.

Eric!
Eric, come back here!

I just always wondered,
"What did he do now?"

Eric was a very,
very handsome man

and very charming.

He knew how to charm
the girls.

He had a girlfriend

almost always,
and when Eric had

a girlfriend that he really
cared about,

he would become basically
a better person.

I loved the fact
that he was happy,

because when he was happy,
I felt safe.

But once they broke his heart,
it was another story.

There was this one girl that
really, really took Eric,

I think, by surprise.

He really liked her,

and she was so sweet
and just so beautiful.

And she had
the most beautiful red hair.

Just beautiful.

Something happened.
She broke up with him,

and it literally just,
like, devastated him.

It was almost like
he kind of lost it.

Eric would pace the floors
and kind of talk to himself.

He would, like, pace
and pace and pace and pace

and pick up the phone and make
a call, and she wouldn't answer.

Then he'd slam the phone down
and pace some more.

He started driving
by her house.

Then he started knocking
on the door.

He wasn't good with being
told no.

It was the no
that he couldn't take.

I think that's what triggered
something in him.

He had an issue
with women with red hair.

In my point of view,
I do

believe that there was
a trigger there.

One day, I don't know why
he and I went

to town together,
because we never really went

anywhere together,

but a girl approached him
that apparently liked him,

cute as she could be.

- Hey, Eric.
- Hey.

Good to see you.

And he was nice to her.

Good to see you, too.

But when we went to walk away
from her, I was like,

"Well, she's nice.

She's really cute," and he goes,
"Well, her hair is not

- red enough."
- She's pretty.

She's okay.

Then it did not mean
a whole lot to me,

but as years went by, that
comment immediately came back

in to play in my head.

I could just hear that comment
and see the look on his face,

but it didn't really mean that
much to me at that moment.

He started working
in Oklahoma,

and when Eric left home,

it was like I could breathe.

It was a relief.

It was almost liberating,
because I didn't have to live

in fear...
Things became normal,

and I was
finally of age to date.

So I started dating this guy,
dated him for almost two years,

and I ended up being...
Getting pregnant.

Single teenage mom.

I had my son,
and as soon as I had him,

my parents were leaving
to go to Oklahoma,

because Eric
had been arrested.

I was told that Eric was
arrested for robbery,

but I remember one day,
shortly after they had left,

there was a phone call, my
other brother was talking

to my parents,
and I kind of got

a sense that
this wasn't a burglary.

- Are you serious?
- What's going on?

So I point blank asked

what happened,
why is he in jail?

What'd they say?

He told me the truth.

It's not good.

And said that Eric was

accused of raping and beating
two women at gunpoint.

Eric had denied that he r*ped

these girls, he had said it
was consensual,

but I believe that he did it.

And Eric pled guilty to r*pe
of the two girls

and was sentenced
to 23 years in prison.

This was taken

shortly after
he got out of prison.

Eric didn't serve his full
term, his full sentence.

He was released
on good behavior,

which almost...

is unthinkable to me.

So many people
thought he had changed

and that he was doing so well.

And he had a great job

and was staying out of trouble.

You would like to believe
that he was

going to make it and be
a different person.

But a few months later,
everything did change...

for the worst,

and...

in the worst way possible.

My mom wanted to have
a barbecue, a cookout,

and all of us come and see
Eric and visit and have,

like, a little small
family reunion.

When I saw Eric,
it was just nauseating.

I did not feel comfortable.

I wanted to be able to say,
okay, he's changed.

He's learned his lesson.

But I had that bad feeling

that something bad
would happen again,

and I didn't want to be
a part of it.

I actually said something
to him at the grill.

I said, "I need you to be
on your best behavior."

I hope you've really changed,
because mom

and dad can't take much
more of this.

And he said,
"I've served my time,"

and that's all he said about it
was, "I served my time."

Leave me alone.

It wasn't but a few months
after I get this phone call,

and it's my oldest sister.

Hello?

And she said, "I need you
to wake up," and I said,

"I'm a awake," she goes,
"No, I need you to sit up

and I need you to wake up,"
and I said,

"Okay, what's going on?"

And she said, "I have to tell
you something.

Eric was arrested
for m*rder."

When I got that
phone call from my sister

telling me that Eric had been
arrested for m*rder,

she told me, you know,
what had been

put out there in the media.

October 11, 1993,

the night


was found abandoned
just west of Malvern.

A week later, Heath's body was
discovered in a wooded area,

her throat slashed
with a box cutter.

Apparently, her car had broken
down on the side of the road.

Somebody had stopped to pick
her up to help her,

and her body was found

a week later
by a hunter

with some of her clothes
turned wrong side out.

Eric completely denied
k*lling Julie.

He said that these guys

that were after him
from Oklahoma,

they had kidnapped this girl

and made him watch them
k*ll her

and planted evidence that he
would take the fall, and that if

he didn't take the fall,

then they would come after
his family.

That was the story
he had told.

When I heard that story, I did
not believe a word of it.

When I learned about
Julie's death,

I was thinking how scared
she must have been,

how long she suffered.

It just crushed me.

I mean, she's...


and this is my brother.

If my brother can do
something like this,

then anybody can do
something like this.

And my whole life changed at
that point.

I never seen this before.

Wow.

I guess these were up
all around town,

I'm assuming... this should
have never happened.

It should have never happened.

Had he still been in prison,
like he should have been,

this little girl would
still be alive.

And he wasn't even
out six months.

It was like five months
or something

when he k*lled this girl.

It was around Christmastime,

and

I had talked with the sheriff

if... was it possible for me
to bring Eric dinner?

I was trying to do
something nice...

Not for Eric really as much

as for my mother, I was trying
to take weight off of her

however I could.

So I go up to the jail,

and he's in this cell when
he comes over to the corner.

And I said,
"Hey, you know,

"the sheriff said I could bring
you food for Christmas,

you know, so what is it
you want me to cook?"

Why are you whispering?

Because I need you to do
something for me.

And he said, "There's one thing
I want," and I said, "Okay."

He said,

"I want you to get the m*rder
weapon and destroy it."

And I just stood there
for a minute,

and I looked at him,
and I'm like, what?

What?

He's like, "Yeah, I need you
to get it and destroy it."

Don't you understand?

I had to look at this
as my brother

just admitted to me that
he actually k*lled this girl.

And this is the way
that he did it, by

telling me to get a m*rder
weapon and destroy it.

Why is he telling methis?

Why is he asking meto
do this?

He didn't say what
the m*rder weapon was,

the actual place where
he said it.

It was an old abandoned
gas station.

You know the one,
by the turn off at the lake.

He goes, "I'll give you
a couple of hours,

and then I'm gonna call you
at mom's."

And I said okay.

I said,
"Okay, I'll do it."

And why I said that,
I'm not sure.

Promise me you'll do this.

Part of me thought
this is ridiculous.

I really don't know what
possessed me to go ahead

and go. I really don't.

I mean, I have asked myself
that question

for so many years.

I drove out there
and did as he asked,

and, um, I had no idea
what I was looking for,

and as I'm walking around
out there,

I'm thinking to myself,
I can see him right now

just laughing, because he sent
me on this wild goose chase.

There's no m*rder weapon
out here.

He is playing typical Eric
games, and it's a control thing.

I was getting ready to
get back in my car,

and then I saw
this box of cigarettes

that he used to smoke,

and I just kind of
kicked it over,

and underneath it was
this box cutter.

And it was pretty evident
that there

was... looked like dried hair
stuck to it,

and I immediately just
threw up.

I lost it. I knew in my gut
that was the m*rder weapon.

I didn't know what to do,
because I didn't want to

touch it, didn't have
a cellphone back then.

I pulled my sweater down over
my sleeve, and I picked it up,

put it in the trunk of my car,
and I was like, okay.

I know exactly
what I'm gonna do with it.

I drive straight
to my mother's house.

I knew Eric
was gonna call me there.

I got the phone call

from Eric,

and I got kind of choked up,
because I wasn't exactly sure

how I was gonna handle this
at this point.

Yes, it was still there.
I found it.

And...

he was in a good mood.

He was happy, and he said,
"Yes, that's it."

And he said,
"Did you burn it?"

And I said, "Yes."

And he said, "Thank you for
the Christmas present."

I have to go.

I felt horrible that I lied,

but I know exactly
what I'm going to do with it.

I am turning it in.

I had no doubt
from the get-go.

It was like he doesn't
know me at all

if he literally thought
I was gonna destroy it.

I go outside,
because at this point,

I've already decided I'm driving
to the prosecutor's office.

Belinda, wait.

But then mom comes
flying out

the door and is asking me,
"Where is it? Where is it?"

How can you do this?
He's your brother.

I don't have a choice.

One of my siblings had said
something to my mother about

me having the m*rder weapon

in my trunk and that I was
going to turn it in.

She was in tears.

It broke my heart,

but I had to do
what I was raised to do,

what was best for my family,

and I have a little girl.

And if this was my little
girl that this happened to,

I would want whomever to do
the right thing.

Belinda!

And that's why I did
what I did.

This is Julie Heath.

I didn't realize how pretty
she really was.

She was a very pretty girl.

Absolutely beautiful red hair.

The red hair...

just really stood out to me.

The first thing I think about
when I see this picture

is how in the hell

he could take
an 18-year-old girl's life.

And when I learned that
she had red hair,

it just made me think that it
was something about

her red hair
that may have set him off.

The conversation that I had

with Eric so many years ago,

it just rung a bell.

Her hair wasn't red enough,

and I just kept saying that
over and over in my head,

her hair wasn't red enough,

and part of me feels like
he enjoyed it,

because I know from how
he tormented me,

the things that he did,

the joy that he got from it,

and...

It makes me sick...
It just makes me sick.

And that's my brother.

He ruined a lot of
people's lives.

I had already told the sheriff,
"I need to talk to him.

"I need to be the one
to tell him what I did,

that I lied to him,
and that I turned it in,"

and he said, "I respect that.

I can make that happen."

And so I get in front of
his cell.

I remember him having this look
on his face, it's like,

"What are you doing here at
this hour?"

And I said, "Well, I came to
tell you something."

I just finished giving them
my statement downstairs.

I wanted you to hear it
from me,

not from somebody else.

I said, "Eric, I turned
the m*rder weapon in.

I didn't destroy it.
I turned it in."

And he just kind of
looked at me,

and his whole
demeanor changed.

The jawline got tight,

the eyes narrowed,

and the look in his eyes...

I've seen it before,

and it scared me.

I forgive you.

Then he smiled and said,
"Well, come here,

let me give you a hug."

And it was just so out
of character.

Come here.

And he reached
through the bars.

I moved so quickly that I
almost fell trying to get away.

Then you can hear
him laughing,

just laughing,
as if it was funny.

Like the whole thing
was a joke.

When I was leaving,
I saw

my mother talking to
my brother's attorney,

and she looked at me,

and she said,
"What did you do to my son?"

At that point,
I knew that there was

gonna be a huge rift
between my mother and I.

Belinda, this is
all your fault.

And his attorney
made it very clear

that I put the nail in the
coffin or the needle in his arm.

He's like,
"You k*lled your brother.

You just k*lled your brother.
You know that, right?"

But I... I know that

it wasn't me
that k*lled my brother.

I do believe that
he deserved the death penalty.

He never said he was sorry
for what he did.

He didn't have the remorse.

He wasn't capable of that.

The day before
Eric's execution,

I wanted to get some answers

from him
and arranged a phone call.

I needed...

to know why he put me in
the position he put me in,

and deep down,

I wanted him to say,
"Because I knew

you would do the right thing."

Eric, this is the last
chance we'll

ever have to talk...
You owe me an answer.

I said,
"Okay, I need to know.

"I need to know why you put me
in this position

"to have to turn in a m*rder
weapon and testify against you.

Why would you do that to me?"

And he said, "I didn't want to
put anybody else in

that position."

That isn't the answer
that I wanted.

I said,
"You don't know me at all."

And I said, "And I obviously
don't know you."

And unfortunately, that was
our last conversation.

He was ex*cuted
the next evening.

On the night of Eric's
execution, I was in

the recliner and I had been
dozing on and off.

And I don't know what it was,
but something just woke me up.

And I said, "It's over.
It's done."

I can feel it.

And my ex-husband said, "No,

they haven't said anything
about it yet."

And then at the bottom of
the screen came across that

Eric Nance was ex*cuted,
and it had the time.

And I had no way
of explaining how...

I knew it.
It was just weird.

It was like I felt it.

It was... like I felt like
it was finally over.

I kept playing
over and over in my head,

his attorney telling me

that you just k*lled
your brother, and it...

And that seemed like
it made it actually true.

So I carried that burden
for a long time,

that I was responsible.

I had so many people say,
"No, you k*lled your brother."

Well, that's their opinion,

and they're entitled to it,
but I didn't k*ll my brother.

My brother k*lled a girl,

a little girl,
she was 18.

That's a little girl to me,
and, um...

he paid the price for it.

He had to be held accountable
for his actions.

But it was very,
very difficult.

I lost a lot of friends
over it.

I got divorced.

It is a very, very
small community.

So when a family member
does something

so horrific that he did,

people associate you with
that type of behavior.

So you are now known
as Eric Nance's sister.

I don't have a name.

I'm Eric Nance's sister.

I do fear that there's more
people like him out there,

and it's made me very aware

that...

he's not the only person
in this world that's

done these things or will
ever do these things.

I mean,
I get terrified at times.

I'm terrified, because if my
brother could do something

like that, anybody could
do something like that.