01x15 - Don't Make Me Laugh

[bunniefuu]

NARRATOR: The Teiko Middle School basketball club.

NARRATOR: An incredibly strong team with over

NARRATOR: one hundred members and

NARRATOR: three consecutive championship wins.

NARRATOR: Amongst their brilliant record,

NARRATOR: the generation of five prodigies was known as the

NARRATOR: "Generation of Miracles."

NARRATOR: However, there was a strange rumor concerning the Generation of Miracles.

NARRATOR: Despite being relatively unknown

NARRATOR: and lacking a game record,

NARRATOR: there was one more member recognized by the five prodigies.

NARRATOR: A phantom sixth man.

SAKURAI: Thanks for the food!

WAKAMATSU: That's cute.

SAKURAI: What?

WAKAMATSU: Did you take your little sister's by mistake?

SAKURAI: Oh, sorry!

SAKURAI: But I made it myself, so I don't think I'd...

WAKAMATSU: You made it yourself?

AOMINE: Hey, that looks good.

WAKAMATSU: Aomine!

AOMINE: Hey.

WAKAMATSU: Where have you been?

WAKAMATSU: You can't skip practice for no reason!

WAKAMATSU: You're coming to practice this afternoon, right?

AOMINE: You can't be serious.

AOMINE: This is really good. Give me the rest of it.

SAKURAI: But this is...

AOMINE: Huh?

SAKURAI: Sorry, go ahead!

WAKAMATSU: Don't give him that, Sakurai!

AOMINE: Shut up.

AOMINE: I can skip practice as long as I have a reason, right?

AOMINE: They said they'd confiscate my

CRKuro: ,Horikita Mai photo book if I left it here.

AOMINE: I just came to get this.

AOMINE: So I'm leaving.

AOMINE: Practice hard.

WAKAMATSU: Wait, Aomine!

WAKAMATSU: Enough already!

WAKAMATSU: I'm telling you to go to practice!

AOMINE: I'll forgive you once.

AOMINE: Let me go.

IMAYOSHI: Aomine!

AOMINE: I told him I'd do it.

AOMINE: Practice, practice.

AOMINE: Don't make me laugh.

AOMINE: Ryo, how many points did I score last game?

SAKURAI: Huh? Uh, points.

AOMINE: Oh? I did it again.

AOMINE: I don't think you can practice with this thing.

AOMINE: Let's see, what was I trying to say?

AOMINE: Oh, right.

AOMINE: You can talk after you perform better than me.

AOMINE: Not that you ever will.

WAKAMATSU: Damn it.

IMAYOSHI: Are you okay, Wakamatsu? Sorry about that.

WAKAMATSU: Captain, why are you apologizing?

IMAYOSHI: You're not wrong,

IMAYOSHI: but don't say anything else to Aomine.

IMAYOSHI: Meritocracies are hardly unusual.

WAKAMATSU: But...

IMAYOSHI: Do you know the golfer Tiger Woods?

WAKAMATSU: Huh?

IMAYOSHI: What about Shaq?

WAKAMATSU: You mean Shaquille O'Neil?

IMAYOSHI: Yeah.

IMAYOSHI: Tiger won tons of games by hitting the ball too far,

CRKuro: ,so they extended courses and added regulations

CRKuro: ,to keep him from driving so far.

IMAYOSHI: Shaq, too.

CRKuro: ,He was too strong, so there was a drastic increase

CRKuro: ,of rough play just to stop him.

IMAYOSHI: That's why they made the no-charge zone,

CRKuro: ,so the offense wouldn't be charged with fouls.

IMAYOSHI: In the world of sports,

CRKuro: ,sometimes when a single player is too strong,

CRKuro: ,they change the rules.

IMAYOSHI: They're not common, but they really do exist.

IMAYOSHI: They're unfairly strong.

IMAYOSHI: They're monsters.

EpTitle,EPTITLE: Don't Make Me Laugh

RIKO: Hey, guys! The names of all the schools appearing

CRKuro: ,in the championship league are out!

RIKO: As you can see,

RIKO: A block is us, B block is Touou Academy,

CRKuro: ,C block is Meisei, and D block is Senshinkan.

RIKO: These four schools will compete to represent our region.

HYUGA: This is a fresh league chart.

IZUKI: Until last year, the Tokyo representatives

CRKuro: ,always included the three kings Shutoku, Seiho, and Senshinkan.

KOGANEI: I've been thinking...

KOGANEI: We beat two of those teams, right?

KOGANEI: Do you think this year

CRKuro: ,we could make it all the way?

IZUKI: You!

HYUGA: You said it!

KOGANEI: Even if we lose to Momoi-chan and Aomine,

CRKuro: ,if we beat the others...

RIKO: It's not Senshinkan.

KOGANEI: What?

RIKO: Those two go to Touou Academy.

OnScreen,TEXT: Touou Academy

ALL: What?

KOGANEI: I thought all the Generation of Miracles

CRKuro: ,went to well-known schools!

IZUKI: I thought he would have gone to a strong school like Midorima.

RIKO: I looked it up, so I'm sure.

HYUGA: That's unheard of.

RIKO: Their history isn't impressive,

CRKuro: ,but they've been putting energy into

CRKuro: ,their scouting efforts recently,

Touou,TEXT: Touou

RIKO: recruiting promising athletes from all over the country.

RIKO: In the last few years they've rapidly gained power,

CRKuro: ,and this year's line up is comparable to Shutoku's.

FUKUDA: I don't believe it...

KAGAMI: Hey!

KOGANEI: Kagami...

HYUGA: You're late.

KAGAMI: Sorry.

KAGAMI: Cleaning up took longer than expected.

RIKO: Number ?

RIKO: Kagami-kun, did you play basketball?

KAGAMI: N-No.

RIKO: You've gotten worse.

KAGAMI: Well, I...

KAGAMI: A little...

RIKO: You idiot, Kagami!

KAGAMI: Sorry, ow!

RIKO: How many times did I tell you?

RIKO: Are your ears just for decoration?

RIKO: Are they just holes in your head?

KAGAMI: Ow!

RIKO: You'll just be watching today!

RIKO: Get a heating pad from the nurse's office!

RIKO: Since you can't sprint, walk all the way there on your hands!

KAGAMI: Seriously?

KUROKO: Kagami-kun...

KAGAMI: Kuroko...

KUROKO: Kagami-kun, you're stupid, but...

KAGAMI: Where did that come from?

KUROKO: But I don't think you'd do something reckless for no reason.

KUROKO: Did something happen?

RIKO: I don't believe that idiot!

HYUGA: Now, now, Coach.

HYUGA: So, who are we playing first?

RIKO: I'm mad because we won't have Kagami!

RIKO: Our first game is against Touou Academy!

KAGAMI: I played Aomine.

KAGAMI: He said he used to be your "light."

KAGAMI: It sounded to me like you weren't just ordinary teammates.

KAGAMI: What happened between you two in middle school?

KISE: Oh, come on!

KISE: One more time! Just one more!

AOMINE: You're naive, Kise.

AOMINE: Well, you play pretty well for someone who's just started.

SENPAI: Kise's not doing bad against the ace Aomine.

SENPAI: Isn't this his first time?

SATSUKI: I think he's got talent.

SATSUKI: He's tall, and he's a quick learner.

SATSUKI: He might even become a great player!

SENPAI: Then with his instincts, Aomine must be...

SATSUKI: Well, I don't know about that.

SATSUKI: He's just a longtime basketball junkie.

SENPAI: A junkie, huh?

SENPAI: Well, he does have more talent

CRKuro: ,and practices harder than anyone on the team.

SATSUKI: Yeah.

SATSUKI: He loves basketball

SATSUKI: more than anyone else.

KUROKO: None of the Generation of Miracles

CRKuro: ,started off as extraordinary players.

KUROKO: However,

KUROKO: Aomine-kun bloomed sooner

CRKuro: ,and more suddenly than the rest of us.

SPECTATOR A: Aomine's amazing!

SPECTATOR B: He's destroying them all by himself!

SPECTATOR C: No one can stop him!

ScoreboardL,SIGN: Teiko

ScoreboardR,SIGN: Yosen

AOMINE: Here.

KUROKO: Aomine-kun, you've started skipping practice more lately.

AOMINE: Yeah, it's cool. If I practice, I'll get even better.

AOMINE: The harder I try, the more boring basketball gets.

AOMINE: What I want must already be...

KISE: Don't you think Aomine's gotten real strong lately?

KISE: He must have so much fun with skills like those!

MIDORIMA: I think it's just the opposite.

KISE: What? Why?

MIDORIMA: Not only does he love basketball more than anyone else,

CRKuro: ,but there is also something he desires more than any other.

MIDORIMA: A rival who can stand as his equal.

MIDORIMA: However, he is too strong.

MIDORIMA: He'll never find a rival with the gap

CRKuro: ,between himself and other players

CRKuro: ,being so overwhelmingly wide.

AOMINE: Basketball's just a game, anyway.

AOMINE: I'm going to start skipping games, too.

KUROKO: You can't do that.

AOMINE: Popsicle?

KUROKO: It takes everything I have to keep up with everyone else,

CRKuro: ,so I don't know how you feel, but...

KUROKO: No matter how large the difference in our skill,

Stick,STICK: Loser

CRKuro: ,if I were your opponent

CRKuro: ,I would never want you to do that.

KUROKO: Besides, I'm sure you'll meet someone

CRKuro: ,more amazing than yourself soon.

AOMINE: You little jerk.

AOMINE: You're right.

KUROKO: That's right.

SPECTATOR A: That's his th point today!

SPECTATOR B: He really is amazing!

SATSUKI: Aomine-kun's really focused!

SATSUKI: His opponent is one of the best middle school forwards,

CRKuro: ,but he's crushing him!

AOMINE: All right!

AOMINE: Huh?

AOMINE: What is this?

AOMINE: Have they given up already?

AOMINE: Is this what happens when I try even a little?

AOMINE: If my opponents lose the will to play

AOMINE: what's fun about basketball anymore?

AOMINE: Tetsu,

CRKuro: ,I don't think you were wrong, but...

AOMINE: I can't.

AOMINE: They all suck.

AOMINE: I'll never find what I'm looking for.

AOMINE: The only one who can beat me is me.

KUROKO: We swept the tournament that year

CRKuro: ,because of Aomine-kun's strength.

KUROKO: But then the other four started to change, too.

KUROKO: Because of a certain event

CRKuro: ,at the national tournament in our third year,

KUROKO: I quit the Teiko basketball team.

KAGAMI: I see.

KAGAMI: Well, if I can say one thing, it's...

KAGAMI: Don't get ahead of yourself, you idiot!

KAGAMI: It's boring because you're too strong?

KAGAMI: The only one who can beat me is me?

KAGAMI: The Generation of Miracles is full of those guys!

KAGAMI: It's so funny I could bust a spleen!

KUROKO: You mean a gut.

KAGAMI: Let's go beat him and wake him up.

SATSUKI: The deciding game is today.

KUROKO: I promise I will beat Aomine-kun.

HYUGA: It's almost time.

MOM: The championship league!

IZUKI: What?

MOM: It starts today, doesn't it?

MOM: I'll go cheer for you.

MOM: Since it's the championship league,

CRKuro: ,I'd better put on my championship makeup!

IZUKI: Mom...

IZUKI: Thanks for the...

MITOBE: ...food!

BOY A: Hey, those are my eggs!

BOY B: We're out of sausages already!

GIRL B: This is too much miso soup! I want that one!

GIRL C: Rin-nii, it's okay. You should eat.

GIRL C: You have to go soon.

SISTER: You're gonna be late, you idiot!

KOGANEI: Just a little longer...

KOGANEI: Besides, the game doesn't start until tonight.

SISTER: You've got school before then!

DAD: You're really into this.

RIKO: Dad, can't you knock?

DAD: Don't stay up all night!

DAD: It's not good for your skin!

RIKO: Tomorrow's opponent is really strong.

RIKO: I can't prepare too much.

RIKO: I guess I am tired, though.

RIKO: I should take a shower.

DAD: Riko, you forgot your underwear.

RIKO: Get out of here, you pervert!

TSUCHIDA: See you...

Tsuchida,SIGN: Tsuchida

TSUCHIDA: Kitty!

TSUCHIDA: Ow!

KAGAMI: They don't hurt. They don't hurt!

KAGAMI: All right! Say your prayers, Aomine.

KAGAMI: I'm going to win!

Gym,SIGN: Gymnasium

Sign,SIGN: Event ScheduleInter-High Preliminary Tournament Game

TAKAO: A lot more people turn out for the championship league.

MIYAJI: Huh? Where's Midorima?

OnScreen,PHONE: From: MidorimaI do not want to.

MIYAJI: Kimura, pineapple!

KIMURA: Yeah, I've got a real green one.

Grid,SIGN: Seirin Touou Academy Meisei Senshinkan

OTSUBO: The Meisei versus Senshinkan game should go to Senshinkan.

OTSUBO: The game that will shake the championship league

CRKuro: ,is Seirin versus Touou Academy.

LockerRoom,SIGN: Touou Academy Locker Room

SATSUKI: What? Aomine-kun's not here yet?

IMAYOSHI: He won't answer, no matter how many times I call.

WAKAMATSU: That b*stard...

SAKURAI: Sorry, sorry. It's my fault.

SATSUKI: I'll try calling him!

SATSUKI: There you are!

AOMINE: Hello?

SATSUKI: What are you doing? Where are you right now?

AOMINE: Where? I'm at school.

AOMINE: Oh, sorry. I overslept.

SATSUKI: You overslept?

IMAYOSHI: Aomine, how long until you can get here?

AOMINE: Oh, Imayoshi-san.

AOMINE: I'll probably be there by the second half.

IMAYOSHI: We're counting on you! We're up against Seirin!

AOMINE: There you go again.

AOMINE: Twenty minutes is more than enough time to crush those scrubs.

AOMINE: Do whatever you can during the first half.

IMAYOSHI: What? Hey...

LockerRoomSeirin,SIGN: Seirin High School Locker Room

RIKO: It's almost time!

RIKO: Is everyone ready?

RIKO: Only three out of the four schools will be going to the Inter-High!

RIKO: Just like Koganei-kun said,

CRKuro: ,it doesn't seem difficult at first glance.

RIKO: However...

KOGANEI: Huh? What? Hey, wait...

RIKO: If you think we can lose one

CRKuro: ,because it's a league game, we're finished!

KOGANEI: Why me?

RIKO: It comes down to now!

RIKO: We will win this game!

RIKO: Seirin, fight!

SPECTATORS: There they are.

SPECTATORS: It's Seirin and Touou Academy!

KAGAMI: Excuse me,

CRKuro: ,where's Aomine?

WAKAMATSU: That self-centered b*stard is running late.

IMAYOSHI: Sorry. We're actually in a bind without him, too.

IMAYOSHI: He said he'd show up around the second half.

IMAYOSHI: I guess you could call us the opening act.

IMAYOSHI: Go easy on us.

IZUKI: Kagami, you've already played Aomine once, right?

IZUKI: Your motivation hasn't dropped, has it?

KAGAMI: No way.

KAGAMI: If anything, I'm pissed!

KAGAMI: If these guys are the opening act,

CRKuro: ,I'll pull so far ahead they can't catch up

KAGAMI: and make their star the world's biggest idiot!

KUROKO: I agree.

KUROKO: Aomine-kun is dangerous.

KUROKO: We should score as much as possible while we have the chance.

KUROKO: There's no point in getting angry at someone who isn't here.

KUROKO: The opponent in front of you is everything.

HYUGA: All right, you got it.

HYUGA: Let's go all out

HYUGA: from the start!

IZUKI: He's fast!

HYUGA: We'll break away now and take control of the game!

IMAYOSHI: You're quick, aren't you?

IMAYOSHI: We have no choice, then.

IMAYOSHI: We'll start by

CRKuro: ,having our kamikaze captain pave the way for us.

SAKURAI: Sorry!

HYUGA: A three!

HYUGA: His movements are incredibly fast!

IZUKI: It's not just No. , but the other four as well.

IZUKI: They're not underestimating us.

KAGAMI: They're strong!

HYUGA: Calling yourselves the opening act was evil.

IMAYOSHI: What? I wasn't lying.

IMAYOSHI: You'll know once Aomine gets here.

IMAYOSHI: We're cute little kids compared to him.

IMAYOSHI: I told you, we're just the opening act.

Preview: ,Preview

SATSUKI: All the Seirin players have shown significant growth.

RIKO: Of course they have!

SATSUKI: But...

RIKO: What?

SATSUKI: Riko-san, you don't seem to have grown.

NextEpTitle,TEXT: Let's Go

RIKO: What are you looking at?!

CRKuro: ,