01x135 - Episode 135

[bunniefuu]

♪ Do you take Danielle
to be your wife?♪

♪ To have and hold her
for the rest of your life?♪

We can't get married like this.

Hello? We're missing the rings.

- Oh, the rings!
- The rings!

[laughs]

He-He's still here. You...

You didn't take him to the dump.

I would've
given him back to you.

I'm not gonna dump
your favorite chair.

Aw, thanks, Ash.

A man and his chair,
that's an intimate bond.

Shouldn't mess with that.

So is no one gonna mention
that two people

just walked out
of that bathroom?

Oh, do you mean your new
and improved bathroom?

We made a few updates.

To make it safe
for the new tenant.

We installed some shower bars
and put a chair in there.

Um, hey, guys, didn't you say

that there was something else
you needed to pick up

at the hardware store?

Yeah.

You're late.

I hope this goes better
than last time.

Well, that is entirely
up to you.

♪ ♪

Don't you look pretty?

Hi, June.

You must be thirsty now that
you're back in school and busy.

And don't worry,
I won't be staying.

But how's the new job going?

It'll take some getting used t--

- Oh, let me get that.
- It's all right.

I must've had butter
for breakfast.

Now I see where I get it.
I'm always spilling things.

It only happens sometimes.

When you're nervous?

I'll be right back.

Thanks for not telling Dad.

You know I don't like
keeping secrets.

We'll tell him after.

Call me when you're ready.

- Love you.
- Love you too.

Here you go.

Sorry about that.

[snoring]

[phone ringing]

[groans] I got it. I got it.

DANI:
No, I'm awake.

I got it.

[phone continues ringing]

It's not my phone.

- Me neither.
- Where is it?

Oh, please, God, make it stop.
No, no, I can't.

- Andre, this hurts.
- I got it. Shh, shh, shh.

Yeah, hello?

Uh...

Hello?

Yeah, well, do the thing
to make that happen.

Mm-hmm.

DANI:
What's that?

Uh, they say we missed checkout.
I don't know.

When did we check in? Where...

Do you know where we are?

You got questions? Who are you?

Oh, and why does
everything hurt? What...

Sweet mercy.

Hey, I didn't hear you.

You're working so hard.

Ah, it's a pitch for my editor.

Hit me with it.

Okay.

"What is the potential fallout
when biological parents

reenter a child's life
after adoption?"

Big departure from the piece
you did on Malone.

Yeah, but there's just so many
perspectives and situations.

You have, obviously,
open adoptions.

You have people
that stumble upon the truth

when they take those little
"family tree in a box" tests.

No, no, it's more common
than you would think.

I know a writer is supposed
to write what he knows,

but this is a little close
to the bone.

We're basically the poster
couple for successful adoption.

If I'm respectful
of people's feelings

and look out
for potential pitfalls...

And I think
if you raise your children

with a strong moral fiber,
good ethics,

and they know right from wrong,
they can stay out of the chaos.

But it's not as though
they can do whatever they want

with whomever they want.

- They still need boundaries.
- True.

Martin, where are the kids?

- Tyrell's at the movies.
- And Samantha?

At Orphey Gene's.

With June.

Do you have much time?

I know that we kind of planned
to do this on your day off.

Take all the time you need.

My manager's cool.

And it's not every day
I have mother-daughter time.

I feel privileged
that you even wanted to...

after everything.

You did the right thing
for me and Tyrell,

and that's what's important.

And you have a job.
Do you like it?

It's... different.

You know, it's been a while
since I've been indoors

around people,
but the people I've met...

Met the Anita Williams herself.

My great-grandmother.

Now, that's a classy lady.

She's the best.

Your fathers
set you up real nice.

You have so many
wonderful women around you.

What did you want
to talk to me about?

I-I need advice.

Okay.

It's about... boys.

You're moving in.

Herbert lives here now.

And those safety bars
in the shower--

those are permanent fixtures,
like you.

That bathroom is your sanctum
sanctorum, your happy place.

Now it's ours.

Now, it's an
outpatient outhouse.

Is this a pronouncement
on Naomi's carpentry abilities?

I-I'm sorry. It's too big
of an adjustment.

- We'll go slower.
- Don't get me wrong.

I love you guys for pitching in

and doing
an instant revamp, but...

You're completely overwhelmed.
Okay, message received.

Baby steps.

- Thanks.
- Hey.

You are not my patient
or my problem.

You just need my help right now.

I'm gonna need yours,
too, one day.

Yeah, just wait until my
hero instincts kick back in.

Oh, those are always there.

You were just rescuing me
from a cluttered bathroom.

It ain't that deep,
and you ain't that noble.

I think I'll survive.

How did we get on a cruise ship?
And how do we get off?

- This is your fault.
- No sir.

The first round was on you.

You know, I'm sure there's
plenty of blame to go around,

and when we find
a copy of the bill, we...

- What?
- The Bill.

Oh, no.

Bill.

What about him?

Not the man.

The c*ck.

Uh-huh.

Yeah, and then I'm pretty sure
someone mentioned something

about going someplace else.

Is this someplace else?

Go look out the window
and tell me what you see.

Uh-uh, you go.

Baby, I can't
get vertical right now,

and that window is so far.

Okay, one second.

- My phone says, uh, Vegas.
- What?

No, no, no, no, no.
That was just a nightmare I had.

I had it too.

You dragged me to Vegas?

We can't be here.
I-I have things, people.

Oh, shh. I'm pretty sure
this was your idea.

So what if it was?
We're both old enough to gamble.

How much did we lose, Andre?

Need to go over details?

You think I'm new here?

I need more men like you.

Intuitive. Never let me down.

Not trying to start.

Good. This job
is right up your alley.

But...

is it really work
when you love what you do?

What's the occasion? Can't
be thirsty, so you're what--

drinking to forget?

To remember who you used to be

before you became someone else.

Whatever's on your mind,
please, out with it.

I have been invited
to an exclusive

high-stakes poker game,

and I'm going.

Like hell you are.

Uh, we think we have everything
we need to finish installing.

Oh, you guys are the best,
but we are famished.

Great. Let's go out then.
Orphey Gene's?

- Yeah.
- Uh, actually,

I don't think I'm up
for a field trip just yet,

if-if that's okay.

Of course. I'm so sorry.
I should've asked you first.

Maybe Jacob can hang out
and we get started

on the kitchen cabinets?

And Naomi and I could go do
the hunting and gathering.

You don't mind, do you?

No, it sounds like fun. Yeah.

- Be back in a few.
- Okay.

[Naomi clears throat]

What was I thinking?

Yeah, that's what
I would like to know.

- Thank you.
- My pleasure.

See you soon.

See? Just because
you're getting married

doesn't mean
you let the steam out.

ASHLEY:
Okay, firecracker.

Okay, did you rush them
out of here fast enough?

- What's up?
- Where is it?

The thing I asked you
to get from my apartment.

Oh, yeah.

You know, if you
weren't in that chair,

I had about a dozen pranks
I was ready to pull.

Well, I'm in this chair,
and you know

I'm under
enough pressure without...

Here it is.

Good work, Detective.

JACOB:
Is it just like you remember it?

It feels like a different
lifetime when I proposed.

Listen, man.

There are two things
that haven't changed.

Your love for Ashley
and her love for you.

You know,
ever since the accident,

I keep thinking there's no way
she could love me more,

and she goes and surprises me.

You got to hang on
to a woman like that.

Yeah.

And this ring

needs a better hiding place.

How about...

Over there behind those books.

Okay, let's see.

Here. Okay.

JACOB:
You got it? Be careful.

[grunts]

Yo, Derek. You felt that?

I would be absolutely delighted
to do the honors.

That's...

Did we have drinks
with your mother?

I can't believe the resemblance.
It's-it's uncanny.

Everything okay, hon?

This is not good.

Why can't I remember anything?

Was that a bottle in front of me
or a full frontal lobotomy?

- No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
- What-what is wrong?

Oh, my God, Andre.
What did you do to me?

Whatever that was,
you did it right back.

- I would never.
- Somebody did.

It's-it's got to be
a joke, right?

Right. There's no way
this is real.

Because that would be bonkers.
We are not married.

- Right.
- That's something a woman remembers.

And then Kat came home,
and then Nathan and I were...

Were...

Kissing, but that's all,
and then she yelled and got mad,

and then Nathan left.

This Nathan-- he's a good kid?

Raised right, like you?

Well... he likes me.

Baby, even a statue would
turn his head to look at you.

It doesn't mean
you have to like this guy back.

Make sure he's good.

You see, now, nice and good--

very different. Miles apart.

Nice is the things you do.
Anybody could do that.

Good grows from your heart.

You're good.

- Thank you.
- Protect that.

Have your whole life
to do grown-up things.

Sixteen summers? That's a blink.

Being young is not
long enough as it is.

Take all the room and time
you need

to become
Samantha Richardson Smith.

Boys can wait. Let 'em.

You are valuable.

Every choice is too important

to waste on something
you'll regret.

How do you not regret stuff?

That's a question
too deep for break time.

Okay.
How do I act when I see him?

L-Like, what do I do to know
if he really likes me?

Be yourself.

I don't even know who I am yet.

That's, uh, um...

W-We're gonna need some more
water while I ponder that one.

I'll be right back. Just...

I'm having flashbacks.

Yeah. You share first
and then I'll share.

All right, this is gonna sound
crazy, but just hear me out.

By the power vested in me
by the state of Nevada,

the Knotty Dreams Chapel,
and my online certification,

I pronounce you
husband and wife.

You may now kiss your bride.

I got to admit, that sounds...

A lot like what you remember?

What was your mother
doing there? What...

It was a knockoff.

She has a-an impersonator
in Vegas.

Lord help us all.

But the other thing is,
if we actually did get married,

there would be proof.

I don't see proof. You?

- Not a thing.
- All right, just a wacky dream.

Hold up.

What is that piece of paper?

Nope, nope. It doesn't matter
how drunk we got,

that is something
that we'd remember.

- Andre.
- [whispers] Indoor voices.

[whispers]
What is that piece of paper?

I don't see that sheet of paper.

Then I don't see it either.

No, no, no, no. Don't do it.

- I got to.
- No. Come on. Come on. It's just,

it's just a hotel bill or
a coupon for a fortune teller.

On three.

Okay.

One.

Beyond the Gates will continue.

Behind my back?
Without my consent?

I know we should've
discussed this,

but Samantha was afraid
you would try to stop her.

I would have.

And are you blaming
your poor choices on our child?

They've spent time
with June before.

With us present.
This is different.

They're sitting in the middle
of Orphey Gene's.

What's safer than that?

June lived on the streets
for years.

She abused drugs, Martin.

She's barely getting
her life back together.

We're barely standing up
after our major upheaval,

and still, you choose
to hide the truth from me.

This isn't the same.
Samantha came to me...

Because you're easy.

You are risking our relationship

to get cool points
with your kid.

- Hey, I resent that.
- How do you think I feel?

Well, at least
I told you the truth.

After the fact, Martin.

Like you do every single time!

Samantha confided in me.

Because she trusted you
to lie to me.

- Because that is your pattern.
- Really, Smitty?

- This is who we are?
- Yeah.

In the aftermath.

You know, I don't want
to do this right now.

Neither do I.

But I want to draw a line.

I am not comfortable
with visits with June

without a family member present.

Fine.

- I'll go get Samantha.
- No. I will.

And no more
unilateral decisions.

[door opens]

[door closes]

What are you having here?

- We just ordered takeout.
- No, I mean,

you know the medical condition
that has caused this 180.

Oh, give me a break.
I love Derek.

Honey, a few months ago,
you turned him down,

and now, what, you want
what you refused back then?

Things are different now.

Yeah, he had
a life-altering accident.

Okay. I didn't propose to him
out of pity.

Well, good.
Then tell me the real reason.

And you know what? While you're
at it, will you please explain

to me what happened with Andre?

We realized that we belong
with other people.

And Derek's accident
had nothing to do with it?

It was a wake-up call.

It made me realize
how much he means to me.

Look, call it fate,
call me crazy, but...

Derek and I were just destined.

What's this all about, Doug?

- My declaration of independence.
- I didn't come here for this.

And I didn't sign up
to be your side piece.

But you always wanted more.

Something extra
just so you can be naughty.

Because it was too easy for you
to be decent and respectable.

No, no, no, no, no.
You had to keep it flirty

- and dirty.
- Where's this coming from?

The man who loved you.

Funny fairy tale, actually.

beautiful princess
turned into a...

- What are you now?
- Disgusted.

Disillusioned.
Tired of these arguments.

You have to forgive me, my love.

I've grown fond
of our verbal fisticuffs.

Something that actually
inspires any passion

from you these days.

Whose fault is that?

You should've kept
this behavior at home.

I will not be taking
any direction.

You can pay
your companions for that.

Lower your voice.
Goodness, how much have you had?

Not enough to fill the void.

God, please don't let that
ever be us with our guys.

Never.

Let's go. We can
discuss this in private.

I have plans. High stakes.
Risking it all.

Doug, don't do this.

Let's try this one more time.

You quit your vices
and I'll quit mine.

Looks like
I have a game to play.

Something I can actually win.

With your luck,
I wouldn't count on it.

Thanks, wifey.

Bro, you can feel your legs.

No, easy. Slow down.

- It's not what you think.
- Why aren't we celebrating this?

I haven't told Ashley.

- Why not?
- I-I don't want to jinx it.

I-It's just... twinges
on and off.

- This is incredible.
- You can't say anything.

I want it to be a surprise.

Ashley is trained
to notice things like this

- with her patients.
- I'm not her patient.

You know
I didn't mean it like that.

All I'm saying is
we've been through enough,

and-and to give her false hope
at this point,

that just seems cruel, you know?

- I can't do that, Jacob.
- Yeah, but if you...

L-Look, I've lost control over
every other part of my life.

Let me have this.

Let me tell her when I want,
in my own way.

I-I'm not asking
for your approval,

just your silence.

Yeah, whoever
set this up has jokes.

Probably laughing
all the way to the altar.

- So funny.
- So funny.

But even if we did do the thing
that certificate says we did,

where's the evidence?

It's not real until
you see a picture, right?

That's an actual law
of photography.

Turned off.

Yeah, mine's dead.

Do you really
want to see pictures of us

drunk, stumbling down the aisle?

No, thank you.

I can honestly say, husband...

...there is no one

I would rather not remember
marrying than you.

What'd the chief call you--
pesky reporter?

I have a few names
for him, too, but

I guess I'll keep those
to myself.

I got a copy of the profile
you wrote.

Before it was released.

Should thank your lucky stars
you took the high road.

Yeah, you don't really go
in that space, do you?

The air is too rarefied
up there for my taste.

You know, there's two versions
of that story.

The one that you read and
the other one on a hard drive

and in the cloud
and in a safe deposit box.

So, if you ever cross a line,
or if anybody in my family

thinks of you as a problem,

the world will know the truth
about you, and it'll go viral.

The Duprees have
a lot more to lose than I do

if that story ever sees
the light of day.

If that's the case,
I guess we'll both enjoy

less involvement in our lives.

Delete the story.

Won't make the truth
about you disappear.

You'd be smart to remember that.

You want to know
how to act around this guy?

Baby, you have time, plenty
of time to figure out boys.

Look at this picture.

Samantha,
you have that it factor.

Any guy would be lucky
to have you on his arm.

It's just, the guy that I like,

he seems so sure.

That's frontin'.

Inside, he's just as new
at this as you are.

See, what gets tricky is,
when we like somebody,

it gets easy to lean too hard
into what they want.

We make ourselves like what
they like and do what they do,

and if we're not careful,

we'll stop listening
to that voice inside of us.

Protect that.

That's your Janie voice.

Like in Their Eyes
Were Watching God,

the book that I'm reading.

That's how you know
you're still you.

Thanks, June.

And-and, you know,

stay away from people
who want to rush you.

Want you to ripen too soon.

Life is long.

You don't have to figure
everything out right now.

And when I can't
figure it all out,

can I... can I ask you?

I would talk
to your fathers first.

They know you better than I do,
but I'm here for you.

How'd I do?

You're amazing.

So are you.

Um, maybe we can
do this again sometime.

If you want to.

I could always use help
with boys, so yeah.

Okay, uh-uh, you better keep
your head in those books,

reading and studying
and listening to your parents,

and you'll be just fine.

Oh, my goodness.
I see some people over there,

they need some water, uh, so...

I'll talk to you later. Okay.

Calling your ride?

[door closes]

- How was the movie?
- It was okay.

Tyrell?

I just want to go to my room.

Yeah, you can do that.

But...

I miss you, son.

Aside from me loving you
because I'm your father,

I actually like you.

And I miss
spending time with you.

Beating you at chess is probably
the one thing I miss the most.

Look, I know
I've disappointed you,

and I'm sorry.

But I hope one day
you will try to understand.

All I know about is today, now.

And I hoped we were moving
in the right direction

after pizza night.

Look, I know we may never
get back to where we were,

but we can start strong
right where we are now.

Will you give me that grace?

You rang?

Glad you could join me.

- You've been on my mind all day.
- Oh, what a day it's been.

So, she called to fill a need.

- So what do you need?
- That could fill a book.

Now, that's what you want.

That's easy, but what you need
is something very different

than what you've had.

- Doug?
- Mm.

And we were having
such a nice time

before you said his name.

What's he done now?

A few too many of those.

- Little early to be drinking.
- You tell him that.

God knows he won't listen
to me anymore,

and one addiction
leads to another with him,

and that never ends well.

Maybe you need to dip your toes
in different water.

You know, a change of scenery
can do wonders

to form a new perspective.

Are we talking about
that suite at the Watergate?

More like a beach bungalow.

Tropical breeze. Fresh air.

Tempting.

And not a Doug in sight.

Just you and me and whatever
makes your toes curl.

Put yourself in my hands,
sweetheart.

Let me show you
the way to paradise.

We could stay here forever.

What do you tell your parents?

I'm an adult.

Oh, oh, don't make me laugh.
When I laugh, everything hurts.

I can't. That's what
we do for each other.

And what about your daughters?
What are you gonna tell them?

That their father made me do it.

No. We got to
face the music, Dani.

Except when
you return to the DMV,

your music
will be a string quartet.

My music will be
a second line jazz parade

and the funeral will be mine.

So you don't think that when
Nicole finds out that her nephew

is also now her brother-in-law,
that she won't come for me?

Have you met your sister?

- She gonna skin you alive.
- Oh, Dani, you are cruel.

- I'm so sorry.
- No, no, it's okay.

We got it.

That marriage certificate
is just a piece of paper.

We can make it go away,
just like that.

No one ever has to know
we're husband and wife.

- It's our little secret.
- Yeah.

Can we at least talk about it?

I don't know. Are you ready
to hear the truth?

Sure. Let's hear it.

Number one.

Thanks for not overthinking
and micromanaging

me and Samantha when June
came out of nowhere.

That was commendable.

Thank you.

You raised us right.

You got to trust that we'd make
the right decisions.

Another thing.

You're not gonna like it, but...

...I've been
letting you beat me.

At chess. For years.

Since the second time
you played me.

In your dreams.

I've been dragging you
this whole time.

I see how it is.
Okay, you want to switch it up?

Let's change it.

Let's take it back. Mancala.

Son's choice.

And we'll chat while I lovingly

dust the floor with your ego.

Nice.

So, there's a bill
you're co-signing in Congress

and I'd like to hear more about.

I'd love to tell you about it.

- I know you're angry...
- Go wait in the car.

Why won't you just
let me talk to her?

- We will talk at home.
- You'll talk.

Car, now.

Thank you.

June.

Hey, do you have a minute?

Yeah, anything for the man
who let me see Samantha.

It was the nicest time.

Yeah, she didn't ask permission.

And if she did,
I wouldn't have allowed that.

I beg your pardon?

Martin and I,
we allowed you to see the kids

to give you closure.

When you put them
up for adoption, you did so

so that they would be
happy and safe

and have the life that,
at that point,

you could've only imagined.

- True, but...
- They're thriving, June.

And the last thing
I think any of us wants

is for something to come along
and disrupt that.

And I'm that something?

That's not exactly what I said.

If Tyrell and Samantha
want to know me...

They're underage.

One word from me,
and this all comes to a close.

Did I do something wrong?

Okay.

Okay, June, if the kids

insist on seeing you,
I won't stop them.

I really hope you wouldn't.

Look, they might be willing
to forget

how you just let them down
in the past, but I remember.

I was there
when you signed them away.

And I will be here
if you hurt them.

And if you do,

I promise you,
it is the last time

either of us
will make that mistake.

What if tomorrow
it all goes away,

and I-I feel nothing
for the rest of my life?

What then?

I'm not gonna get
her hopes up like that, Jacob.

- [door unlocks]
- Just let it go.

- Look who's back.
- How'd everything go?

NAOMI:
Good.

Uh, Jacob, you want to
grab the drinks?

Yeah.

Is everything all right?

Looks like you've been
up to something.

Oh, I mean, you know how it is.
Carpentry gets me going.

Well, in that case.

Well, now that we've got
all this connubial bliss stuff

out of the way,
who's ready to eat?

- Let's do this.
- Uh, wait, before we do,

why don't we make a toast?

- Wait, what?
- For what?

Now, you know these Duprees
can't have a gathering

without either
a toast or a prayer.

Well, some things need to be
set apart and celebrated.

Like this moment.

Jacob and I couldn't be happier
for our favorite friends.

We knew you'd find your way
back to each other eventually.

You're each other's
perfect match.

NAOMI:
Yeah, and this time, it's forever.

- Best wishes to the happy pair.
- Congratulations.

Thank you so much, you guys.

- To forever.
- Forever.

You want to take me on vacation?

I want to take you
on the romantic getaway

that you deserve.

You should be bathing
in moonlight.

Swimming in pools
bluer than your eyes.

You should be waited on,
catered to, adored.

I hear it's lovely
this time of year,

and I've always wanted to go
to Puerto Rico, but...

Well, you know the best way

to get rid of temptation,
don't you?

Give in to it.

- I don't have time.
- Honey, you can't afford not to.

You make it sound
so dreamy. I...

I like adventure as much
as the next girl.

Let's do it.

What a short, strange trip
this has been.

How do I look, Mr. Man o' Mine?

Exquisite.
I love the dramatic turn.

Any faster,
I'd fall off the merry-go-round.

Well, I'll get us some more
water as soon as I can stand.

One more night.

Wait, to do what?

You have to ask?

Okay, that does sound promising.

But we must face the inevitable.

Oh, how the family will talk.

Look at the bright side.

You can say this was
a colossal screw-up

or call it a ridiculous
waste of a day,

but there's no one
I'd rather do...

you know.

You get the gist.

Mr. Romance.

We do speak the same language.

I guess we have to,
now that we're married.

When things get rocked...

- We roll.
- ...we roll.

So let's roll, Mr. Husband.

All right, right by your side,
Mrs. Wife.