02x16 - The Odyssey

[bunniefuu]

- [whistles] - Come on!

It's picture time!

[upbeat music]

- ♪ In the Loud house ♪

♪ Really Loud house ♪

[car horn honks]

- Lincoln, are you ready?

Everyone's in the car!

We're leaving!

- On my way.

I'm not on my way.

When you live in a house with kids,

getting into the car and on the road takes about

minutes from the first "we're leaving"

to when we actually leave.

- We cannot be late for Lisa's science competition!

- We're going to be late to Lisa's science competition.

- It's the championship!

The car is running!

- The car's not running.

Dad can't find the keys.

- I can't find the ding-dang keys.

- But they're in his pocket.

- Oh, they're in my pocket.

Ha-ha, thought that was Lily's rattle.

- I've got the rattle, and the backup rattle,

and the rattle bag.

- We have a rattle bag?

- I've still got a few minutes.

[growling on TV]

Ooh, a nature documentary.

Good luck, gazelle.

- Now I've got to make the sandwiches?

- Unless you want to be the water jockey.

- They really are good parents--

frazzled, but hearts of gold.

Wait for it.

both: Lily! - I'll check upstairs.

- I'll check the backyard.

- All right, it's time.

She's in the car, by the way.

both: She's in the car.

[both breathing heavily]

- Hey, did you forget something?

- You really should be more organized.

- Clyde's moving to Florida.

- My dad got a new job.

He starts Monday.

We leave tomorrow.

- Clyde, this is crazy.

Listen, when we get back tomorrow, before you leave,

we'll give you a proper sendoff.

- Guys, I think I'm going to stay with Clyde.

- Of course. - Of course, of course.

Give us a call if you need anything.

- And no indoor s'mores.

- Yeah, yeah.

No indoor fires of any kind.

[somber music]

- I can't believe this.

- I can't either.

- He got promoted to vice president?

- Yep.

- What does your dad do again?

- I'm not really sure, but I know

he hates Rick from accounting.

- This just came out of nowhere.

- No, from the stories I've heard, Rick can be a real jerk.

- No, you moving.

- Oh, right.

- Florida.

- Looking back, I think they were trying

to tell me in their own way.

- Breakfast in bed, pancakes,

and freshly squeezed orange juice.

They really do have the best oranges in Florida.

Bundle up.

It is lose your fingers cold out there.

Hopefully, one day, we live in a magical place

where it's always degrees.

Florida orange juice?

Good night, surf.

Good night, sun.

Good night Gloria Estefan.

[chuckles] Nightcap?

- I'm moving.

- Clyde, we're not going to spend our last

hours together moping.

Tell me what you want to do, and we'll do it.

Today is all about you.

- I want to get a milkshake.

- A milkshake?

Man with the Plan here.

Anything you want.

- You remember the first day we met back in first grade?

- Yeah, we--[chuckles] We both missed the bus.

- And on the walk home, we found $

and went to Mac's for milkshakes.

And I knew right there we were going to be best friends.

You had all these crazy plans.

Even though I never had a brother, that day,

I knew I had one forever.

[slurping]

You good?

- Oh, yeah, just had some dust in my eye.

No. [chuckles]

Continue, dawg.

- I want to go back there, get a milkshake,

and talk about all the things we've done.

[upbeat music]

- Let's go get that milkshake.

Of all the things Clyde could have done on his last day,

he chose just hanging out with me and talking about old times.

I've got to tell him how much he means to me,

but how do you tell a guy that his friendship

has made your life better than you could have ever imagined?

Wait, that's perfect.

Clyde, your friendship--

- Excuse me, will you help me across the street, young man?

- Of course, old lady.

- Yeah. Yes. All right.

Yes.

Here we go.

- Thank you.

It's so hard for me to move on my own these days.

There's the rest of my stuff.

[dramatic music]

♪ ♪

Get to work!

♪ ♪

- Ow, my back.

- Ugh, that'll have to do.

- [grunts] Oh, man, that thing was getting heavy.

- What was that?

Three hours?

Here you go.

- A dime?

- Give half to your scrawny friend.

[dog barking]

You left the door open, dummies!

Well, go get my dog!

Rumsfeld!

Here, Rummy, Rummy, Rummy.

Here, Rummy, Rummy.

Rummy!

- Check this out.

Say hello to the Renegade Power Chopper.

It's got weaponized attack mode.

Death on Wheels just took to the air, boys!

[laughter]

- Here, Rumsfeld!

Rumsfeld!

Rum-rum.

Oh, we've lost him.

But why did he keep running away?

- If I was her dog, I'd run away too.

Man, I really did a number on my back.

Whoa, it's our old fort from when we were little.

- I can't believe it's still here.

[bright music]

♪ ♪

- Wow, we had some pretty good times in here.

- Hey, check it out.

- What? No way.

My old plan notebook.

There's some pretty good stuff in here.

- That's our old slingshot.

- Yeah.

- Pshh.

[tense music]

- Spiders. Spiders. Spiders!

[screaming]

♪ ♪

Thanks for your concern, Clyde.

- Time for the first mission!

This thing set me back a pretty penny.

Oh. Oh! Oh!

Whoa!

- Look at it go!

- Hey, I bet you I can knock that can out the tree.

- That's a tough shot.

- Never doubt "One Shot" McBride.

Except now.

- [yelps]

- Whoa!

- "Death on Wheels"?

Isn't that that biker g*ng?

- At least no one saw us.

- Those kids are going to pay!

- With their lives!

- Would you please stop finishing my sentences?

Let's get 'em! [engines revving]

[rock music]

- Just toss some dirt on it and let's...

both: Run!

[dramatic music]

[both grunting]

♪ ♪

- I think we lost them.

[engines rumbling] Or not.

♪ ♪

- Let's show them nobody messes with us.

- Kurt.

- Hey, Buford, what can I do you for?

- Some kids messed with Death on Wheels,

and they're going to pay.

- With their lives.

♪ ♪

- You're so lucky you're moving to Florida.

- What do these hoodlums look like?

- Two punks.

One's got blonde hair and the other

actually has a cool pair of glasses.

- Well, that's nice. He likes my glasses.

- Maybe he'll k*ll you second.

- Now, we're going to need tracking gear

for the whole g*ng.

- I got what you're looking for in the back.

[tense music]

♪ ♪

- Wow, this bean medley is really priced to move.

[clattering]

- Who's out there?

- Go!

- Come on! - Oh, my neck.

♪ ♪

[gasping]

- Go!

- Wow.

- Let's go!

- Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, wait, wait, wait.

- What? - We're heading the wrong way!

- Mac's is that way.

- Yeah, but my house is this way,

and my house has a door

and a very dependable deadbolt lock.

Maybe we should just head home and skip the milkshakes.

- No!

I mean, it's just--

it's the first thing that we ever did together,

and it's got to be the last before I move.

- Boy, Clyde really wants to get that milkshake.

I always knew how much our friendship meant to him,

but to risk his life for it?

You know what?

I'd risk my life for him too.

That's how much he means to me.

That's the perfect thing for me to say.

Clyde, I'd risk my life for--

[engines rumbling]

- There they are! - Come on, we gotta go.

We gotta go.

Ooh!

- Come on!

Faster, Lincoln, they're after us.

- I'm coming.

- We're coming for you.

[chuckles]

- Come on, I see them.

- All right, they went this way!

- Let's go.

Let's go, guys, come on.

Hey, kids, hey, hey, hey, where are you going?

- [screams]

- Hey.

Wait.

- [groans]

Move it, you dummies.

There's got to be another way up.

- We're probably going to need some disguises

to make it out of this building.

[bell dings]

[indistinct chatter]

- He's been such a jerk.

- Just the worst.

- I know, right?

[light music]

- Again, we're really sorry.

- It's my last day in town.

- He wants to get a milkshake with me.

We're best friends.

Let's go.

[muffled moans]

♪ ♪

- All right, let's ditch this mail cart and get out of here.

- There they are.

[dramatic music]

Where have you guys been?

- Uh, licking stamps.

- You know those are stickers now?

You don't have to lick them anymore.

[both chuckling]

- Now you tell us.

- I need you guys to take this top secret document

to Mr. Worthington.

- Right, and he is--

- The CEO, the head honcho, the guy who signs

your paychecks. - Ah.

- Of course, we'll deliver this to Mr. Whittingham now.

- Worthington. - Right.

We'll head down there.

- Up there.

And guard this with your life.

There's only one copy,

and the fate of DynaCorp depends on it.

- We won't let you down.

- What are you? ?

[whirring]

- All right, let's get out of here.

Where are you going?

- To Mac's.

- Forget Mac's.

Let's just go back to my house.

- Your house doesn't have milkshakes.

- You know what else my house doesn't have?

A motorcycle g*ng that wants to m*rder us.

- There they are!

- Stay right there!

[dramatic music]

No!

[muffled moans]

- There they are!

♪ ♪

- [screams]

[whimpering]

- [growls]

[both screaming]

- You kids are meat!

- Dead meat.

- Would you stop doing that?

- Who are you guys?

- We're Death on Wheels.

- Nice jacket.

- Thank you.

You know, my daughter sewed on all the patches.

I mean, I can do it, but, you know,

I like to keep her busy.

You know, the thing is, she's real shy, you know?

Never had a boyfriend.

Poor thing.

I just love her so much.

[bell dings]

Those kids are dead meat!

[rock music]

All right.

[grunts and groans]

They're up on .

[groans and grunts]

- Come on.

Come on, come on!

- This way. Let's go!

- Those boys are going to pay.

♪ ♪

- We're trapped.

- Maybe not.

- Those kids won't see it coming.

- What?

- Check in there.

- Aha!

- Well, that was a wasted "aha."

Hmm.

- They're around here somewhere.

I can sense it.

[creaking]

Start looking.

- They gave us the slip, boss.

- Dang it!

Look, we gonna get them boys.

Now go fire up the choppers.

- The choppers?

I thought they busted our chopper.

That's why we're after them.

- I'm talking motorcycle choppers,

not helicopter chopper!

- [chuckles] Well, that's confusing.

- You know what wouldn't be confusing?

You, dead.

All right, let's go!

- I think it's much cooler to call the motorcycles choppers.

- Same.

OK, the coast is clear.

[groans]

I'm just going to punch right through it.

- OK. - Take notes.

Ow! [groans]

- Why don't we just open it with the latch?

- Great, where is it?

- It's on...

the outside.

If you can dream it, nothing is out of reach.

- Except that latch.

OK, OK, so the latch is on the outside.

We're on the inside. - Lincoln...

- Not now, Clyde. I'm thinking.

- Lincoln.

- Clyde, I gotta figure this out.

OK, so--

- Lincoln!

- [screams]

- Wait, oh, I'd know that high-pitched scream anywhere.

They still in the building somewhere.

You got security cameras in this building?

- We got security cameras everywhere.

- All right, take me to 'em.

- I see a light down this way.

This is it.

We're finally going to get out of here.

I hate that poster.

- [gasps]

- What? - Nothing.

You know, I'll tell you what's out of reach--

my milkshake.

- Will you please stop with the milkshake?

We're never going to get out of here.

- We're never going to get that milkshake.

It was the only thing on my list.

- I've got a list of things I'm more concerned about

than your precious milkshake, Clyde.

My back, my neck, my knuckles,

the aforementioned biker g*ng known as Death on Wheels,

and oh, yeah, this.

So will you please stop with the milkshake?

- Well, I'm sorry, Lincoln.

She closes soon. - She?

- What? - You said "she" closes soon.

- No, I didn't. - What are you talking about?

- We got them, boss, like fish in a barrel.

- What's going on?

- Uh--

- Clyde, why did you say "she"?

- [chuckles] - Go.

- Fine.

I haven't told you about this,

but there's this girl who works at Mac's

that I'm crazy about,

and I wanted to see her one last time before I leave.

- What gives, boss?

- Hey, I want to hear this.

- I thought this day was supposed to be about us.

You remember, we both missed the bus, the milkshakes?

I was the brother you never had?

Clyde, look me in my eye and tell me that

this whole day hasn't been about some girl.

- Hey, she has a name.

- What's her name? - I don't know yet.

- What's going on?

Do you have some kind of a secret girlfriend?

- Well, it's a secret to her,

but I'm planning on letting her in on it today.

- Oh, poor guy.

- I can't even be around you right now.

- So I'm not allowed to like a girl?

- Whatever you want.

Apparently I'm just here to be your wingman.

- Oh, no, you didn't.

Do you know how many times I've been your wingman?

I almost got arrested impersonating a bus mechanic.

And then I got beat up by some guy named Rod

on a fake Valentine's date.

And then what else?

Oh, yeah, I took a van to Tennessee,

a chipmunk on a stick,

and almost died in a hot air balloon!

You know what?

I can't even be around you right now.

- I'm sorry.

- He's sorry.

- I don't want to hear it.

- Clyde, you're my best friend.

You've always been there for me,

and I'd be honored to be your wingman.

So tell me about her.

- She's perfect.

Every time I see her, I want to tell her

how beautiful she is, how much I like her.

But I can never seem to find the right words.

Do you have the bathroom key?

I need to poop.

- Good luck with that.

- Thank you.

- How long has this been going on?

- What's today? Saturday?

Uh, about six years.

- Six years?

All right, we're going to get you to Mac's,

and then you're going to look her in the eye

and tell her those three magical words

that every girl dreams to hear.

- "What's your name"?

- No.

- No, not what I was going for, but close enough.

We got to get out of here.

- Well, it's too late.

Her shift ends any minute, and then she's heading home.

- Well, then we'll go to her house

so you can tell her how you feel.

That's even more romantic.

- I kind of already told her how I feel.

- What?

- I was afraid I was going to chicken out

and not introduce myself.

- [crying] Oh, he's just like my daughter.

- So I wrote a letter.

- Look away.

Look away.

[blows nose]

- A letter? What did it say?

Clyde, what did it say?

- Clyde, what did it say?

- I...professed my undying love for her.

- That's not so bad.

- Uh, there's more. - Oh, boy.

- Oh, boy.

- I also wrote a poem,

and I may have included a charcoal sketch

of our wedding day.

- Oh, that's not good.

- Clyde, please tell me you didn't send that letter.

- I didn't.

- Yes!

- Oh, thank God.

[screams]

- Where did they go?

- [screaming]

There they are!

- Liam did it.

- Liam!

- Who the heck is Liam?

- I told him if he didn't hear back from me by : PM,

he should put it in her mailbox.

- It's :.

- After she sees that letter,

I'll never be able to face her again.

It's a good thing I'm moving to Florida.

- Wha--Clyde, what are you doing here?

Lincoln, you look terrible, just like the news I received.

My promotion fell through.

We're not moving to Florida.

Apparently, two inept rubes in the mailroom

failed to deliver an important document,

and the company's stock plummeted.

I'll never be able to enjoy a glass of orange juice again.

From now on, we are a beet-juice family.

[chuckles] Ugh.

- You're not moving. - I'm not moving!

- [screaming] - Wait! The letter!

I'm not moving.

What am I going to do?

My life is over.

- No, it's not.

We just got to get to her mailbox before she does.

- There's no way.

She's already on her way home.

We'll never make it.

- Oh, yes, you will.

- ♪ I'm on a mission to love, mission to love ♪

♪ You'll meet your milkshake girl, yeah ♪

♪ You'll meet her for real ♪

♪ Love never dies when you got Death on Wheels ♪

♪ Ow ♪

♪ I'm on a mission to love, mission to love ♪

♪ I'm on a mission to love, mission to love ♪

- All right, here we go. - Thanks, guys.

- You go get 'em.

- You got this.

- Oh, thank God.

- What are you guys doing?

[dramatic music]

- It's OK.

We used to be mailmen,

and my friend Clyde has something

he wants to say to you.

[romantic music]

♪ ♪

- I have to poop.

[music stops]

- I got this one, buddy.

Clyde is the best person I've ever known in my whole life.

He's funny.

He's kind.

He's loyal.

- I know.

I've had a crush on him for six years.

- Classic McBride.

Good luck!

Let me know how it works out.

- Me too.

- Shut up!

[engines roaring]

[soft music]

- Where am I?

- You're on my front porch.

- I had the craziest dream that there was this biker g*ng,

and we fell out the ceiling, and a spider bit your eye,

all just to get to the most beautiful girl in the world.

[dramatic music]

- It wasn't a dream, Clyde.

And then we did get to the girl.

- What happened?

- You told her that you liked her,

and she said she liked you too.

And then you fainted.

- Dang.

Did I look cool?

- Why don't I let her answer that?

- You looked very cool.

[romantic music]

I'm Angie.

- Angie.

That's a nice name.

My name's Clyde.

- I can't believe you did all that just to see me.

- Well, uh, you do make the best milkshakes.

- It's more than just the milkshakes, Angie.

Trust me.

[dog barks]

♪ ♪

Rumsfeld, you're back!

[Rumsfeld whimpers]

- Angie, let me tell you all about this dog.

- Hey, Rumsfeld!

- How you doing, buddy?

He was the one that started us off on this whole adventure.

We were helping this old lady move across the street...

- ♪ I'm on a mission to love ♪

♪ Mission to love ♪

♪ You'll meet your milkshake girl, yeah ♪

♪ You'll meet her for real ♪

♪ Love never dies when you got Death on Wheels ♪

♪ Ow ♪

♪ I'm on a mission to love ♪

♪ Mission to love ♪

♪ I'm on a mission to love ♪

♪ Mission to love ♪

♪ I'm on a mission to love, yeah ♪

♪ Mm ♪