02x18 - Game Night

[bunniefuu]

- [whistles] - Come on, it's picture time!

[upbeat music]

- ♪ In the Loud house ♪

♪ The really Loud house ♪

♪ ♪

- Now that Clyde and I both have girlfriends,

we've decided to take our ladies on a double date.

This one says, "Seize the Day,"

but this one says, "Capture the Night."

- Well, our date is at night.

- Hmm. Put this one in the yes pile, then.

- But let's not forget about this,

because, at some point, we're gonna want to seize the day.

- OK.

[whispering] Seize the day. Capture the night.

[quirky music]

What are you doing?

- I've seen my dads do this.

It's called the spritz and walk.

Here, you try. [fragrance spritzing]

- [screams]

- Oh, yeah.

You gotta close your eyes.

- Are you sure we have to wear cologne?

- We're taking the girls to the classiest restaurant in town.

Do you want to be the only guy there

not wearing Crystal Jasmine?

- Hit me. - Atta boy.

[upbeat music]

- Your piece was bigger.

- Your piece was bigger.

- I cut the cake in half.

You grabbed the bigger piece-- end of story.

- You two still on this?

- What do you mean "still"?

- Your piece was bigger.

- Your piece was bigger. - Yours was.

- Yours was.

You had more frosting.

- No, you had more frosting.

- Don't even start with me!

- [groans] - No, I had--

- Yours was clearly bigger. - No, it wasn't.

- Go to bed.

- Your piece was bigger.

- Yours was.

- Enough!

This is over.

You two are done talking about this.

both: But-- - Over!

I have spoken. [basket thuds]

[tense music]

I mean it this time!

Ugh.

♪ ♪

[thudding]

- I was here first.

- Iwas here first.

- Did you steal one of my pageant perfumes?

- Colognes, Lola.

When men wear them, they're called colognes.

- You've been in there for half an hour.

I gotta catch up on some reading,

if you know what I mean.

- Don't put on my pageant perfume!

- All right, let's just pick one and put it on.

Uh, "Dee-zel."

- Hmm. [banging]

- Put some muscle into it.

both: Whoo.

- It's hot.

- I think that means it's working, I think.

- It's hot! It's hot!

- [screaming]

[whimpering]

- Great. Now I don't have to go anymore.

- Lola, how do you pronounce this?

"Dee-zel"?

- Diesel.

It's diesel gasoline for my chainsaw.

[both screaming]

- That was gross.

- It's hot! - It's hot!

It's so hot!

- OK, Zia and Angie are getting dropped off in a couple hours.

Then my dad will take us all to the botanical gardens.

- The girls are very pumped for the botanical gardens.

- And the Singing Scallop.

The only thing better than a fancy restaurant

is a fancy restaurant where the waiters sing to you.

- They're so talented.

- I heard one of them has seen every episode of "The Voice."

- Rad.

- Hey, on the car ride with the girls,

can you set me up for a joke?

- Sure.

- You know that big pothole on Oak Street, right?

- Mm-hmm. - When my dad drives over it,

I want you to say, "Oak Street."

And then I would say, "More like Broke Street."

Unless you want me to set you up for the joke.

- Nah, I'ma let you have that one.

- Thanks, buddy.

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

Whew.

- It's a little hot.

This is gonna be the best double date ever.

- Over here, buddy.

- What? Oh.

Can't wait for tonight.

- Ah, "Dee-zel."

Been there.

- Whoa.

Game night's tonight?

- What tipped you off?

- The third Saturday of every month,

the way it's always been.

- But Lincoln and I have our double date tonight.

- Too bad.

- What about our streak?

Clyde and I are the undisputed kings of game night.

We've never lost.

Clyde and I are the undisputed kings of game night.

We've never lost.

- Well, we got to reschedule.

- Ha-ha! No.

- I found the loser button for game night.

- Lincoln and Clyde aren't doing game night tonight.

- Really?

So I actually have a chance?

This is the only game in my entire life

that I've never won.

- If Lincoln and Clyde aren't playing,

we all have a chance to win.

[angelic music]

- Whoa, whoa, whoa. We're playing.

We just got to reschedule game night for a different night.

[laughter]

- Let's at least put it to a vote.

- All in favor of rescheduling game night

so that Clyde and I can play?

- [buzzes] Loser.

- This is a golden opportunity.

With Lincoln out of the game,

we might have a shot at this thing.

Ha-ha!

I'm so excited.

- I don't think we should win.

- What?

- I don't think we should win.

- Is there more to that sentence?

Like, "I don't think we should win by too much"?

"I don't think we should win-- just kidding"?

"I don't think we should win-terize the garage"?

- You saw how excited Lynn was when she found out

Lincoln wasn't playing.

Winning would make her so happy.

- I have never beaten Lynn at anything.

Most dads let their kids win when they're little.

She's been kicking my butt since she came out of the womb.

[baby Lynn laughing]

Yes!

Top that.

[baby Lynn laughing]

Beginner's luck.

Hey, kiddo, you're number one, and I'm going for two.

- [laughs]

Get that crap out of here. - [sighs]

If you miss this one, then I win.

- Key word, "if."

- Ahh!

Ooh. Ugh.

- Game.

- [weakly] Get your mother.

- Oh.

Are you mad that your little girl owns you?

- Yes!

Why does she have to be so competitive?

- How are you not pumped up for game night?

- I just don't care that much.

- How are we teammates?

Yah!

- You know what?

None of this matters because Lynn is a true competitor.

If I go up there right now and say,

hey, do you want me to not try so you could win,

you want to know what she would say?

- That'd be awesome.

- What?

But that's against everything you stand for.

- I'm just as surprised as you are,

but I really want to win this thing.

- Ugh!

- Told you. - It's not fair.

- I know you want to win this thing, but it's just a game.

People don't take it that seriously.

- Let's go, let's go!

- L-E-T-S G-O!

Victory will be ours!

- Pew! - [sighs]

See?

- [sighs]

- This is a tough one. [blows raspberry]

Clyde and I have a problem.

Game night is at the exact same time as our reservation

to the botanical gardens.

And the girls really want to go to the botanical gardens.

What's that gaslighting one again?

- That's where we convince them that today is tomorrow

and we've already gone to the botanical gardens.

- I don't think that's a good idea.

- But it's already worked.

- When? - Yesterday.

- Whoa.

I'll put a "maybe" next to that one.

- What if we ask Lisa to use her weather machine

to create a hurricane centralized

over the botanical gardens?

- No, she's only using her science for good now.

- Big surprise.

- That's it.

- What?

- Game night is a big surprise.

When the girls show up, we'll open the door, yell, surprise!

We're not going to the botanical gardens.

We're staying here for game night.

- But the girls really want to go.

- Doesn't matter, Clyde.

When you yell "surprise" at someone,

they always think the next thing

you say is going to be great.

So I'll open the door, yell, "surprise."

They'll get excited, and by the time they realize

they'd rather be at the botanical gardens,

we'll already be sitting down to play game night.

We'll keep our streak alive and then take them to dinner.

It can't miss.

- Everybody talks about Lisa,

but you're making a strong case for being

the genius in this family.

[doorbell chimes] - I'm so excited.

- Have fun smelling those flowers. [sniffs]

I'm gonna be here, smelling victory.

- We're not going to the botanical gardens.

- Why not? - Because we're geniuses.

[doorbell chimes]

[light suspenseful music]

[both exhale]

♪ ♪

both: Surprise! [laughs]

both: What?

- We're not taking you to the botanical gardens.

We're staying here for game night.

- We got you!

- We got you so good.

You thought we were taking you to the botanical gardens?

- As if! - Yeah, right.

[tense music]

both: Amazing!

- Hey!

- I think they're being gaslit.

- Let the games begin.

[upbeat music]

- It is time to start the game.

Everybody, grab your partner.

[indistinct chatter]

- Whoo!

both: We're gonna make such a good team.

[dramatic music]

♪ ♪

[upbeat music]

- And begin.

- Oh, easy.

It's my favorite color.

- Blue.

Red. Yellow.

Orange?

- That's yourfavorite color.

- Green. Clear?

- It's what I'm wearing.

- A dress.

[buzzer blares]

- Clear?

- Clear-ly, I don't know your favorite color.

[upbeat music]

- And begin.

- It's my favorite sport.

- You play sports?

- Um, it's on ice.

- Soda, spritzer, frappuccino.

- It's a sport they play on ice.

- Oh, Ice Capades, Princess on Ice.

My dads take me all the time.

[buzzer blares]

- It was hockey.

You went to my game last week?

- Oh. That explains the lack of "capades."

♪ ♪

- Next.

- You visit this person twice a year.

- Aunt Ruth.

- She tells you not to eat candy.

- Aunt Ruth.

- She sticks her fingers in your mouth.

- Aunt Ruth.

[buzzer blares]

- It was a dentist.

- Aunt Ruth is a dentist.

- Can you at least try? - Nope.

- Loser.

♪ ♪

- Oh, that's a hard one.

Uh...oh.

This is that thing, um, where people--

- People what? Cook?

Cook? - No.

- Cooking, chopping, kitchen, cocina.

- Five, four-- - No, it's when people--

- No, kitchen, kitchen, kitchen, kitchen--

- Three, two, one. - Kitchen, kitchen, kitchen!

[buzzer blares] - Yes!

- Could you at least try?

- [sighs] Sorry.

- This is not exercise.

This is exercise!

[sighs]

- Oh, easy.

This describes your piece of cake.

- Smaller. - No.

Your piece of cake was blank than mine.

- Smaller.

- My piece of cake was--

- Bigger. [bell dings]

- Great teamwork, girls.

both: Whatever.

- Oh, this is an easy one.

Dihydrogen monoxide.

- I don't know what that means.

- "Di" means "two," and hydrogen means hydrogen.

- Pass!

- This is what I think of Fermat's last theorem.

- What?

- Oh, you probably know it as Fermat's conjecture.

- These are not words!

[buzzer blares]

- Oh, Rip Hardcore caught this on his show last week.

- A cold.

Wait, no, it's flu season.

The flu!

- He caught it with his bare hands.

- Uh--

- OK, It's a two-part word.

Second half of the word is what I'm allergic to.

- Wheat, gluten, grass, dust mites,

tree nuts, peanuts, all nuts!

- He caught this.

[buzzer blares]

- [sighs] It was a bobcat.

We watched the episode together.

- Oh.

I was kind of doing my homework.

- Next.

[upbeat music]

- Is it me?

- No, those were great clues.

That was a great episode.

- And begin.

- Clyde was really into this when he was younger.

- Comic books, dinosaurs, race cars, garbage trucks.

- No, he was reallyinto it.

- Baking.

[buzzer blares]

- It was chandeliers.

- Is that why you took us to Lamps Unlimited?

- Uh, yeah.

[bell dings] - That is the end of round one.

A quick check of the leaderboard shows

you are all dreadful.

- That was brutal.

- Tell me about it.

Those girls don't know us at all.

- Right? We're never gonna win this thing

with them as our partners.

We gotta switch teams.

Us together is our only chance.

- They'll never go for it.

- That's why we gotta come up with a foolproof plan,

something they'll never see coming,

something completely original.

[pensive music]

- This is so much fun.

both: Surprise!

- Wait a minute. You guys switched partners?

Is that even legal?

- I just scanned the rulebook, and frankly,

I am surprised none of you have tried this sooner.

Round two, begin.

- You did this last week at the bowling alley.

- Perfect cartwheel. [bell dings]

- And then I tried and I--

- Vomited. - Sort of.

- Vomit. [bell dings]

- Saturday.

- Sunday. [bell dings]

- Mint chip. - Deodorant.

[bell dings]

- People do this on banana peels.

- Slip.

- Rusty is the coolest guy we know.

- Not.

Slip knot. [bell dings]

- Oh, OK.

Orange you glad I didn't say this?

- What?

- "Orange" you glad I didn't say this.

- You're pronouncing orange incorrectly.

Is the word "aren't"?

No contractions.

"Are not."

[buzzer blares]

- Death on wheels. - Helicopter.

- Bolhofner. - Chipmunk.

- Pants. - Cheeseburger.

[bell dings]

- Oh, OK.

It's green, and you walk on it.

- Oh, gum.

I hate it when that happens.

It gets stuck to the bottom--

- I mow it with the lawnmower.

- Ha! Can't say lawn.

- I didn't say la-- I said lawnmower.

- Egg rolls. - Albuquerque.

- History class. - Honey mustard.

[bell dings]

- It's a thing. - OK, OK.

I can work with that.

Think, Lynn.

- You can spell it with letters.

- Zeroing in-- wireless headphones!

[bell dings] Yes!

- Wow.

- Smelliest farts. - Elevator.

- Elevator. - Paramedics.

- Doberman. - Jeans.

[bell dinging]

[both barking]

- You can use this to weigh how much you had

and how little cake I had.

- I'm sorry. Your clue doesn't make sense

because you had more cake than me.

- You had more than me.

- No, you had more than me!

- Girls!

- We're playing the game!

[buzzer blares] - [sighs]

- Your best subject. - Geography.

- You guys are on fire.

- Eiffel Tower. - Germany.

[bell dinging]

- That is the end of round two.

[upbeat music]

both: Hah!

- We crushed it.

- This is the best night ever.

And I bet you girls are so impressed.

And where are the girls?

- They left a half hour ago, dude.

- Well, this isn't good.

- [buzzer blares] Loser.

[line trills]

- Hey, it's Zia. Leave a message.

Thanks. - Zia's not answering.

- ♪ They never checked in ♪

- That was the Singing Scallop.

♪ They never checked in ♪

- Clyde and I have to find our girlfriends.

Can we put a pause on game night?

- [buzzer blares] Loser.

- Or we could just never play again.

both: Fine with me.

- We're not putting a pause on the game.

- It's not our fault you guys messed up.

- You're right. It's our fault.

We wanted to win game night so bad

that we lost something much more important.

Now we'll never get them back.

- Angie was my first girlfriend.

[somber music]

[bell dinging]

- All right, round three.

- Lincoln and Clyde need us right now.

- This game is officially over.

- Yes, I win!

- Loser. Loser. Loser.

Loser. Loser. Loser.

Loser. Loser. Loser.

- Well, looks like I'm never gonna beat her at anything.

- Oh, honey.

You're right.

Probably die first.

- You guys could use some cake.

I gave you the bigger piece, just like I did for you.

- Yours was bigger.

- Yours was. - Yours was.

- Thanks, everyone, but we don't deserve this.

- The girls were so excited for tonight.

- Bad boyfriends.

We have no idea how to be in a couple.

- [buzzer blares] Loser.

- Sorry, that wasn't intentional.

- I have a question.

If it meant so much to the girls,

then why didn't you guys just skip game night?

- Clyde and I couldn't give up our winning streak.

It was too important to us.

- [sighs]

- Care to elaborate on that sigh, Clyde?

- I--I actually wanted to go on the date.

- Wait a minute.

I thought you wanted to keep our streak going.

- I mean, I did, but not as much as you did.

- Why didn't you tell me?

- Because I know how much it means to you,

and I wanted to be there to support you.

- Man, that is so nice.

- You'd do the same for me.

I know you don't love watching "Muffin Showdown,"

but you watched all nine seasons with me.

- Yeah, I guess I did.

I should have known you wanted to go on that date.

- Hey, that's on me for not communicating

how I actually felt.

- Maybe I didn't give you the space

you needed to communicate,

because I was just thinking about myself.

And I'll work on that.

- Bro hug?

- Bro hug.

[sentimental music]

♪ ♪

What?

- You two clearly know how to be in a couple.

- They are a couple.

- You just need to transfer this

to your wonderful girlfriends.

- Talk to them how you talk to each other.

- It's not rocket science.

- It's too late.

They're probably already mad at us

for tricking them out of the botanical gardens.

- Loser.

- I'm just gonna take the batteries out.

- Don't give up hope, because we can help.

- Yes. - Yeah.

- Go get your girlfriends.

Bring them back here, and we'll take care of the rest.

- Really? all: Yeah.

- We're the Louds.

That is what we do.

- Let's do this.

- All right, guys, we got work to do.

- All right.

- Hey.

We knew you'd come here.

- You know this is where we go when we're feeling down?

- No, we checked your phones.

- We have something we want to say to you.

- Obviously, what we did tonight was very--

- Selfish. - Yes.

- And we wanted to come down here and--

- Say how sorry you were?

- Yes.

- And we promise-- - To learn from this.

- Yeah.

- And we're gonna--

- Be better boyfriends?

both: Yes.

- Wow.

Maybe this is too soon to say,

but we should all be partners on the next game night.

- Don't push it.

- Look, we're really sorry,

and we're going to make it up to you.

- How?

both: Surprise!

- Whoa.

This is amazing.

- What did you guys do?

- Well, we felt bad for what happened, so--

- So we decided to fill the room with fake flowers.

- We had a little help, but you know us.

- That's how we do.

- It smells amazing in here.

- Is that jasmine?

- Crystal Jasmine.

[gentle music]

- Enjoy the chrysanthemums.

♪ ♪

- Thank you.

- How did you guys pull this off?

- It was a piece of cake.

- Actually, two equal pieces of cake.

- What's in there?

- Oh, ladies.

- What's in there is--

- Another surprise, of course.

- [laughs] Allow us.

♪ ♪

- Are you ladies ready for the best meal of your life,

with singing waiters?

- Welcome to the Lyrical Lobster.

- Ooh.

- We don't actually have lobster.

- ♪ But we do have fish sticks ♪

- We have a reservation for four under Clincoln McCloud.

- Yeah, right this way.

- ♪ We made a fine feast with meats from the smoker ♪

- ♪ It's fine as in fancy but not mediocre ♪

♪ The dinner is great, best in the nation ♪

-♪ There's only one bathroom ♪

both: ♪ Make a reservation ♪

♪ Bon appétit ♪

- [continues vocalizing]

[laughter, applause]

- This is awesome.

- Enjoy, enjoy. - Let's eat.

- I'm so hungry. - I know. Me too.

- Would you like some salad? - Yes, please.

[laughter]

- Hello. I'm your bus girl, Lucy.

Are you done with this stuff?

- Um, well, actually--

[dishes clattering]

- Please come again.

- I guess we're done.

[romantic music]

- That was a really great-- - Night?

- You guys are-- - The best.

- No, but you're learning.

♪ ♪

- Good night. - See ya.

♪ ♪

Man, having girlfriends is--

- Exhausting. - Yeah.

[gentle music]

♪ ♪

- Well, well, well.

[dramatic music]

I knew you couldn't win that way.

- Yeah.

This time, I'm gonna win fair and square.

♪ ♪

[wind whooshing]

- Prepare to lose--

for the first time.

- [joints cracking]

♪ ♪

- [grunting]

♪ ♪

Rock, paper, scissors, sh**t.

Rock, paper, scissors, sh**t.

Rock, paper, scissors, sh**t-- sh**t!

- Maybe in the next lifetime, Dad.

- [sighs] Now, you want to share

a celebratory slice of cake?

- Sure. - Race you to the kitchen.

sh**t!