02x20 - A Really Loud Thanksgiving; The Gobble Squabble Debacle

[bunniefuu]

- [whistles] - Come on, it's picture time!

[upbeat music]

- ♪ In the Loud house, the really Loud house ♪

- Watch it, guys. - Over here!

- Stupid Liam. - Thanksgiving?

More like Jerksgiving.

- You're probably wondering

why Clyde and I are dressed like pilgrims.

Well, every Thanksgiving, Liam manages to get a charming story

on the local news.

And this year, after a lot of begging,

he finally let us be part of it.

[pop music playing]

♪ ♪

[record scratches] - That's not newsworthy.

- Then, out of nowhere, Liam replaced us.

[pop music playing]

[donkey braying]

- Now that's newsworthy.

- He said, we just didn't have the "it" factor.

Stupid, Liam.

I didn't want to back up some dancing donkey anyway.

- I did.

Me and that donkey had mad chemistry.

- We don't need Liam to get on the news.

- The local news. - We can get our own story.

And not just any story-- the lead story.

We're going to figure this out, Clyde.

And we're not going to rest until we do.

- Right. But let's grab something to eat first.

- Sure.

- Why am I so hungry?

- You were dancing with a donkey.

- Are you gentlemen familiar with the term

"turkey slaughtering"? - No.

- Sounds delicious.

What's going on? - Read the sign, bozos.

- Oh, no, no, no, no, no, sweetie.

Lily, we're not going to do that quite yet, okay?

- But I'm your helper. - Yeah, I know.

Hey, why don't you go find a pot

we can boil the potatoes in?

Good job, kiddo.

- How did we say yes to this?

- I brought this spoon.

- Oh, good job, pumpkin.

- Next year, can I be the only helper?

- Of course you can. - Aw.

- [laughs] - Aw.

- Just us.

- That's right.

[whispering] She got us with the old long-range request.

We say yes because it's so far in the future,

but we still get to be heroes in the moment.

- Well, the future is now.

And you, me, and a toddler have to make

turkeys, sides, and pies.

[pots clatter]

- Found it!

- On it.

- But I'm your helper. - I know.

And you are helping by making

these wonderful decorations, huh?

It's a very, very important job.

And you can take all the time you want.

- I can make anything?

- Anything you want.

Ha ha.

- Can I talk to you, Dad?

- Sure. Hey, who put this chair here?

Somebody's trying to lock her in?

She's just a baby. What do you need?

- If I could just save one turkey--

- I'm going to stop you there. I need to go help your mom.

So I'm sure whatever issue you're working on

is just going to be fantastic.

There you go. Change the world, sweetheart.

- Can I use these scissors? - Sure.

- Can I talk to you about a very important cause?

- Sorry, we're on a tight deadline.

I give you the Expando-Pant--

the first-ever self-expanding garment

that'll fit your feasting figure.

- We're making pants that get bigger

as you stuff your face on Thanksgiving.

- We've already missed our Thanksgiving launch.

We're rushing for Black Friday and, if all goes well,

all of the maternity market.

- These pants will last a long time,

but not for all of maternity.

- Just stick to the sewing.

You see, Lana, when we consume food,

blood rushes to the stomach, raising the temperatures.

The Expando-Pant senses this and expands

along with the stomach.

- Cool.

Could you make us a gravy-powered rocket

that would launch us into the mayor's mansion

so we can be the top story on the news tonight?

- The local news.

- We're on a tight deadline,

and Leni and I are just hitting our stride.

- I sewed myself into the pants again.

- All right, let's take five.

- You want me to write a "Hamilton"-style

Thanksgiving musical that you can perform on the news.

- The local news.

- This time, those donkeys will be our backup dancers.

We wrote the first line.

- "I'm going to Plymouth Rock all night

and harvest every day."

- Yeah, no.

Every year on Thanksgiving, Mom's like a drill sergeant.

She works us like dogs.

This year, we finally have a loophole, so...

- We chillin'.

- In Mom's defense, she does have to cook for people.

I'd help if I didn't have to get on the news.

- The local news.

- Fine, but you will not be getting a shout-out

tonight on the news. - The local news.

- Hey, I need you guys to help me really quick, okay?

You, roll out this dough.

You, turkey shapes.

You, whip that frosting until it's light and fluffy.

And I mean light and fluffy.

Use your wrist.

Can you do that for me?

- Oh, you mean, can we betray our baby sister?

- We know about the long-range request.

- And we support it.

- We are not helping in the kitchen this Thanksgiving.

- Hmm. You're doing that for Lily?

- That's right.

We believe the best part about having sisters is--

- Standing up for them when it's convenient for us.

- Yeah. - Well, that's annoying.

- Oh, that's okay.

We can lick the frosting bowl clean for you.

Love you. - Yeah.

[doorbell rings]

- Do you remember me?

- Yeah, you're Patrick from the mall.

- Right.

- Oh, I'm Leni from the mall. - Right.

- We both couldn't find our... both: Sunglasses.

- Jinx! - Jinx!

You remember when I asked you to dinner?

Have you had dinner? - Lots of times. I love it.

- Would you like to have dinner with me sometime?

- Sure.

Uh-huh. - Well, I'm here to take you.

- Oh, but it's Thanksgiving. - Oh, I'm sorry.

I didn't know you were religious.

How's, um...

December th? - Hmm.

Why don't you just have Thanksgiving dinner

with us tonight?

- Oh, that'd be awesome.

I never had Thanksgiving dinner.

My mom and dad got divorced Thanksgiving morning.

I was only four, so I don't remember much--

just a lot of yelling.

So I never celebrated the holidays.

- That is so sad. - Yeah.

- Well, my parents are still together,

so we still celebrate.

Come on in.

- Whoa, stairs.

This place is fancy.

- Ugh.

Oh. - Ha!

Hey, you dropped something. - Where have you been?

- Well, I was getting Lily out of your hair.

I put her in charge of decorations.

Taught her how to use scissors.

- Turkey.

I did great.

- But I am here now, and I am laser-focused.

[whistle blows] It's the football draft.

I think I'm going to be first pick this year.

[softly] I'm going to clean that up later.

- [sighs]

[whistle blows] - All right, people.

It's time for the big game.

- Which you're going to lose. - Whatever.

- You're toast.

- With the first pick in the annual Turkey Bowl Draft,

I select...

Little Miss Giblets.

- I'm Little Miss Giblets.

- Oh, my gosh. Lola, that's amazing.

- I thought you were the runner-up?

- The winner dropped out.

She was rehearsing the ribbon cutting,

and the mayor cut her finger off with the giant scissors.

- Clyde, this is the perfect place to get on the news.

- The local news.

- This is also the perfect place

to unveil the Expando-Pant.

The Thanksgiving release is back on.

- I can't believe I'm Little Miss Giblets.

It's the highest pageant honor in the state.

Last year's winner was invited to the Thanksgiving parade

in New York City.

I'm going to go get ready. [squeals happily]

- And that's why I'm not allowed to chew gum anymore.

- Hmm.

- Sorry. - What did you do that for?

- I had to cool you down because you're so hot.

Lieutenant Bo Chopper. Nice to meet me.

- Hold my whistle.

[huffs angrily]

You!

- Lori, what are you doing? - I'm getting my revenge

on Corporal Bo Chopper. - Lieutenant.

- I'm getting my revenge on Lieutenant Bo Chopper.

- It's okay. I'm Leni's boyfriend.

- Not yet. - Whoa, whoa, whoa.

He doesn't know yet.

Um, before we can be boyfriend and girlfriend,

Lori has to decide if you're good enough for me.

- I just have to assess you in a dozen different categories,

plus a lie-detector test, and then a short written exam.

- That sounds like a lot.

- You don't have time for all this.

What about the football game?

- Some things are more important than football.

- I've been waiting a year for this game.

Somebody's getting hit today.

[stomps]

[chuckles]

- I think it's me.

- Time to make more pies.

- You sure love pie.

No, first, Mommy has to make sides,

and Daddy has to make gallons of gravy.

- You know what? I got to take a rain check on the gravy.

I'm taking Lola to her pageant. - What?

- Didn't you hear? She won Little Miss Giblets.

And I am the number-one pageant dad.

Whoo-hoo-hoo. - [sighs]

- Don't worry. I'll be back in no time.

Oh, uh, I signed Lana's petition,

so we won't be having turkey this year.

See ya!

[squelch]

- Now it's just and me.

- [sighs]

Yep.

- I can't believe I'm going to be Little Miss Giblets.

This is a dream come true.

- I don't want you to do it.

- What?

- Little Miss Giblets is the face of GibCo,

the largest distributor of turkey

and turkey product in the Midwest.

They're turkey K*llers, Lola.

- Yeah, but I'm not a turkey k*ller.

I'm a turkey pardoner.

My first official duty as Little Miss Giblets

is to pardon a turkey.

- Wake up, Lola.

They use your adorable face to distract people

from what they really do.

You're the face of evil, Lola.

And my face is the same as your face,

which means I'm the face of evil.

And nobody's going to use my face to be the face of evil,

even if it's your face.

- But I've been dreaming about this day my whole life.

- Ever since the day we were born,

we've always had each other's backs.

And if you do this, it's like you're stabbing me in mine.

- Hey, when you're being interviewed by the news,

what's the perfect time for Clyde and I to run behind you?

- And do this.

- [cries softly]

- You know, we'll check back later.

- [breathing shakily]

- Come on, guys, you can work this out.

You just have to communicate.

- If she cared about me as a sister,

she wouldn't go and hobnob with those turkey murderers.

- So we're not going?

- If she cared about me,

she would know how long I've dreamed

of being crowned Little Miss Giblets.

- So we are going?

- No one is leaving this room until we figure this out.

- So we're not going?

- I've already worked it out. I'm going to that ceremony.

- You can go if you want,

but I will not be there to support you.

- Fine by me.

all: We're going.

- We want you to know this was purely a business decision.

- Seriously?

- It's our only chance to get on the news.

- The local news.

- Rest assured, none of us are happy to be doing this.

both: Very sad.

- I'm going to be rich!

both: We're going on the news!

- The local news.

- Should I be doing something?

- You tell me.

Five minutes ago, your "girlfriend" said, I'm thirsty,

and you said, I'm Patrick.

- Oh, I should probably get her a glass of water.

- [whispering] I think that look means yes.

[door closes]

- That's a closet. - Mm-hmm.

- Other way.

- Yeah.

[clatter] Whoa! Stairs are hard.

- Is he doing good?

I got the "yes" look.

- Oh, honey, can you hand me the turkey baster?

You might know it as the squirt g*n.

Oh, thank you.

You are such a great little helper.

Come give Mommy a kiss.

- Wait a minute.

Is this one of Lori's tests?

- Who are you? - Oh, I'm Patrick.

Leni invited me for Thanksgiving.

My parents got divorced when I was four,

so we never celebrated any holidays.

- Oh, that's so sad.

I need gallons of gravy.

Go! Go, go, go!

Other way. Other way!

- Where is Lola?

- Maybe we should go without her.

- We shouldn't go without her, right?

- Yes.

I don't think we should go to the Little Miss Giblets pageant

without Little Miss Giblets.

Now, where is she? And where is Lana?

Lola, where have you been?

And wait, why aren't you wearing your gown?

- I'm not going.

I can't do it to Lana. She's my best friend.

And if something's important to her, then it's important to me.

- Aw, you're the best sister.

- I'm going to the pageant for Lola.

She's my best friend.

And if something's important to her, it's important to me.

- Aw, you're both the best sisters.

[exhales shakily]

- I'm not going. - I want you to go.

- You want me to go? - You don't want to go?

both: Aw.

I love you.

- The National Giblet Distribution Company

would like to give a warm welcome

to everyone who has come out for this iconic annual event.

- I really appreciate everyone wearing the Expando-Pants.

You can't buy this type of publicity.

- There's the news team. - Oh, the local news team.

- That's Chip Winters. He's the lead anchor.

Eat your heart out, Liam.

- And remember, if it doesn't say GibCo,

it's not a premium giblet.

Okay, and now for the main event.

Lola?

[cheers and applause]

- I, Little Miss Giblets, pardon you, Mr. Gobblesworth,

and wish you a lifetime of freedom and happiness.

[cheers and applause]

[turkey gobbles]

- Okay, boys, take him to the slaughterhouse.

- The slaughterhouse? But I just pardoned him.

- That was just for show, sweetheart.

What'd you think we were going to do,

get him his own apartment?

He's a bird, a big, delicious bird.

- Wait, I'm getting some major "twintuition" right now.

It's a fake pardon.

They're going to k*ll Mr. Gobblesworth.

- What? - Huh?

- No. What are you talking about?

- Got it. Dad, go to the car.

Everyone else, follow my lead.

- Please, Mr. Whitecollar. Won't you reconsider?

- No.

I'm going to deep-fry that big boy,

eat him, and fall asleep on the couch.

[laughs] - Deep-fry this.

all: Oh!

- Right in the giblets. - [shouts]

- Pick him up. Let's go.

[turkey gobbling] - Move out of the way!

- You'll never get away with this!

- Come on, Lola! Run!

- The turkey's on the lam. Roll it.

- Quick touch, Chippy. - Not now, Elizabeth.

- Chip, we're your biggest fans.

- We have the inside scoop.

Do you want an exclusive for your lead story?

- Nobody wants to see you guys.

- But-- - But nothing.

This is Chip Winters saying, get lost.

- Chip, your hair!

- Something's wrong with my Expando-Pants.

- They're getting loose.

- The heat sensor's malfunctioning.

- They won't stop expanding.

[tires screeching]

- It happened to me, too!

[excited chatter]

Let's go. Come on. - Get 'em!

They're not even wearing pants now!

[tires squealing, indistinct shouting]

- I can't believe we didn't make it on the news.

- We didn't make it on the news yet.

Clyde, I've got a plan.

[turkey gobbles] - We did it!

[cheers] Ah, yes! Yes!

[siren wailing, indistinct chatter outside]

They're here.

Lily.

There are so many people-- [gasps] Chip Winters.

[turkey gobbles]

[feedback whines] - Give up Mr. Gobblesworth,

and this all ends peacefully.

- It's a mob scene out there. - Listen up, all you Louds.

You can't hide from us.

- All right. That should do it.

All things considered, not our worst Thanksgiving.

- At least the Expando-Pants are good for something.

[sewing machine whirring]

both: I sewed myself into the curtains.

Jinx!

- Mm.

- You, me, backyard right now, game on.

- Again, more important than football.

- If I don't hit someone in the next seconds,

I'm going to lose it.

- That sounds like a you problem.

[clears throat]

- You're not going to pass that test.

We're never going to be together.

- Oh, yes, we are. Can I say something?

- Please do.

- I love this girl, and I want to be with her.

And I know I have to pass a bunch of tests to do it.

Lori, I know I failed all of your tests,

but there's one test I didn't fail.

I didn't kiss your mom.

- Lynn.

- Thank you.

- [gasps]

- Man, that felt good.

- Lily, I need more flour.

- Oopsie.

- Surrender Mr. Gobblesworth.

You have no chance.

- Don't worry, buddy. - We got you.

- We have the entire house surrounded.

- Even the backyard? [feedback whines]

- Do we have anyone in the backyard?

- No.

- Yes!

- This is Chip Winters from the local news.

I'm willing to offer an exclusive interview

to Little Miss Giblets to tell her story.

This is definitely lead-story material.

Not now, Irene. [feedback whines]

- If we send him out, will you let him go?

- No. We're going to eat him.

- No chance, Giblet Boy.

- You're the one that has no chance.

- She's dead in the water. - She's not giving up.

- Where does she get that from?

- We are not giving up, Lily. We can do this.

I just have one question to ask you.

Are you Mommy's number-one helper or not?

- This is your last warning.

Give up Mr. Gobblesworth,

or we're coming after Little Miss Giblets.

- What are we going to do? - I'm going to give myself up.

- You do not have to do this. - I don't have to. I want to.

Like you said, we always have each other's backs.

- Look, I know you guys are standing up

for what you believe in, but this is no joke.

- Turkey-napping is a very serious offense, young lady.

And you will be prosecuted to the full extent of the law.

- Guess I'm going to the big house.

- But, Lola, you--

- There's no other way out of this.

- There is one way.

[indistinct chatter] - What?

- They want you and the turkey?

They're going to have to catch you and the turkey.

We're going to run out that door.

And when they chase us,

release the real Mr. Gobblesworth to freedom.

- But they're going to catch you.

- Who knows what they'll do to you guys?

[all chattering] - Don't worry about us.

Just let the world know, we did this for my sisters.

- I thought we were doing it to get on the news.

- Not now, Clyde.

Open that door.

And if we're not back by : p.m., record the news.

- The local news.

- Gobble, gobble, gobble! - There she is!

- Get the shot! Get the shot!

[indistinct shouting]

- That was a Thanksgiving no one would ever forget.

After quite a struggle,

the police finally found their man.

This guy.

- Easy on the sport coat, boys. It's houndstooth.

- Turns out, Chip Winters wasn't a newscaster at all.

He was an undercover agent for the FBI,

and he'd been after GibCo for tax evasion

for the past ten years.

- Looks like you'll be the one getting deep-fried.

- You would have been delicious.

- Okay, Mr. Gobblesworth, you're officially pardoned.

- If anyone invites you in for Thanksgiving dinner, don't go.

It's a trick.

- Mr. Gobblesworth got set free.

But, unfortunately, they tracked him down.

Hollywood, that is.

They turned his tale into a hit movie

with a storybook ending.

[indistinct chatter]

Speaking of storybook endings, Mom and Lily pulled off

the greatest turkey-free Thanksgiving of all time.

[chatter continues]

And Leni and Patrick

officially became boyfriend and girlfriend.

- Thanks for doing my hair, babe.

- Thanks for doing mine.

It's playful and stylish. [exhales sharply]

- Lori realized that even though Patrick wasn't perfect,

he and Leni were perfect for each other.

And that's all that mattered.

As for Clyde and I, we did end up getting on the local news,

just not for the reasons we thought.

- Lincoln, you're on! [camera shutters clicking]

Presenting the Expando-Pants!

[upbeat electronic music plays]

I'm back, baby!

[indistinct chatter]

- I'd like to make a toast.

To the best family in the world.

Can't wait for next Thanksgiving.

- Next year, can I be the only helper?

- Yes. Just you and Dad.

- [coughs]

[indistinct chatter]

- Now pass that pumpkin pie. - Best Thanksgiving.

- Thanksgiving rocks.

- These festivities are spectacular.

- I am not doing the dishes.