(exciting orchestral music)
♪ Jack and the Beanstalk
♪ We'll long remember when
♪ He shimmied up the stalk
♪ To beard a giant in his den
♪ Once up the beanstalk
♪ If Jack is set upon
♪ Then Jack be nimble,
Jack be quick ♪
♪ Or Jack, you're good as gone
♪ Up, up, up, up,
there he goes ♪
♪ Up to where, nobody knows
♪ Long is the beanstalk
♪ And short is little Jack
♪ The long and short of it is
♪ Is he ever coming back
(dramatic orchestral music)
(steady music)
(ringing doorbell)
- Come in!
(crashing)
Oh, it's you!
I'm sorry Arthur.
I thought it was the babysitter.
- Just what do you have
against babysitters?
- Why nothing.
- Nothing?
- It's a psychological
stumbling block.
The juvenile mind resents the
restraint of adult authority.
- You ever have the feeling
you're too old for your age?
- Physically, I'm only eight.
Mentally, the doctors
refuse to believe it.
Why do you bring
my sister flowers?
Because you want to marry her?
- It's all part of the racket.
Where is Eloise?
- Putting on her lipstick
so you can kiss it off.
- Come on, young fellow,
I'll put you to bed.
Or your sister and
I are gonna be late
for dress rehearsal.
- Why do I have to go to bed?
Only children go
to bed this early.
- Arthur, I didn't
hear you come in.
- You should have.
I made quite an entrance,
thanks to junior.
- Donald, didn't you
promise mother and dad
you'd be a good boy?
- I am being good.
It just happens
that their standards
are much higher than mine.
- Where's his babysitter?
- His sitter?
Well, Don, go in and wash
your teeth and go to bed.
And don't wake your baby sister.
- What's the matter?
- No babysitter.
- There are dozens of
babysitters in the neighborhood.
- Well, not for my dear brother.
He's been declared us.
- Have you tried the
employment agencies?
- They don't have babysitters.
Well, it looks
like my understudy
will have to go on tonight.
- Start calling every
employment agency
'til you find one that's open.
Get somebody, anybody.
- Sounds like a bad
idea, but I'll do it.
- And I'll handle my pal Donald.
(car honking)
(tires screeching)
(engine revving)
(car banging)
- That's pretty
reckless driving.
- I'll say it is.
You ought to watch where
you're going, big boy.
- Ah.
- What are you trying
to do, get away?
- Out of my way.
Out of my way, shorty.
(grunting)
(car rumbling)
I ought to run you in for this.
- You're big enough
to carry me in.
- Officer, we're terribly sorry.
- Well alright, but don't
let this happen again.
And get off my car!
(smacking)
- What are you
gonna do with that?
- Put it away.
- Well keep it there.
- Yes?
Uh huh.
I'd better hang up.
We've been talking
for 10 minutes.
Here comes my heavy
date for tonight.
Bye.
- Who were you
calling a heavy date?
- You.
Can you wait outside
for five minutes?
What a way to get a ticket.
- Well if I do, I
can get it fixed.
I have influence.
- Don't do that!
- Why don't you look
where you're going?
See you outside, baby.
- What do you see in a
tall, dark, handsome fella?
- Plenty.
- Girls never say that to me.
- What do they say to you?
- Shush, nothing exciting.
(phone ringing)
- Cosman Employment Agency.
Yes I have been on the
phone for quite a while.
I'm sorry, we don't
list babysitters.
- Just a minute, lady.
You are looking at the
world's greatest babysitter.
- That's right miss, sure.
- Him?
- He is the best.
- Where do you fit in to this?
- Oh I'm his agent.
- Yes, he lets me keep
10% of everything I earn.
- I'm sorry I took so long,
but fortunately, a professional
babysitter just came in.
May I have your address, please?
Thank you, he'll be right out.
Goodbye.
- Oh thank you miss.
Gee, you're wonderful.
I like girls like you.
Eyes of blue, and five feet two.
Timber!
- Sorry to be late.
- It's okay.
Shall we go?
- You mean you and I
are going out together?
- You see dink, I
have a way with girls.
Please.
- Now listen!
- Yes daddy.
He's so big!
- Come on, we've
got babysitting.
Get with it.
(engine rumbling)
(thudding)
(thudding)
Why, why are you so clumsy?
- I'm excited.
- Why?
- This is my first job.
Gee I hope he's a sweet child.
I love children!
- Come on.
(doorbell ringing)
- It's about time they got here.
- Are you the--
- Babysitter?
He sure is.
- You're kinda big for a baby.
- You're not for me.
- Oh, rejected again.
I guess it isn't my night.
- Won't you come in?
- Sure.
- Surely.
- Well, we'll be plenty
comfortable here.
- Well it's too late
to get anyone else.
Have you had much
experience with babies?
- Why yes sir, I've
been a baby all my life.
- Don't you worry about Jack.
The kids just love him.
He makes 'em feel so superior.
- In which they are.
- Sure.
- Well they're
both sound asleep,
and I'm sure you
won't hear a sound
out of them all night.
But if you need anything...
- Oh no, Madame.
I don't need a thing.
I'm prepared for everything.
- No one's prepared for Donald.
- Well, good luck, and
we'll be home after 11:00.
- Oh, you're going
out right now?
Oh, costumes.
Going to a masquerade ball?
- No, a play.
- A play, kids are gonna play.
May I see you out the door?
Excuse me, I'll help you.
Oh miss, in case I want
to see the children,
just where are they?
- Oh they're in the
bedroom down the hall.
- Thank you.
- High class, huh?
(baby crying)
- Music to my ears.
My first victim.
Duty calls!
See you, Mr. Dinkel!
(baby crying)
This calls for action.
(thudding)
Shush, quiet.
You want to wake up your
sweet little brother?
Now what seems to
be the trouble?
(baby crying)
Have a nice nap.
This is my real
business, I know kids.
Goodnight.
- Get me a glass of milk.
- What'd you say?
- I said get me a glass of milk.
- This is unbelievable.
This kid talks better than me.
- You're not very bright.
- I'm sorry, kid.
What school did you go to?
- The baby isn't talking, I am.
- I know you're
talking, but who?
- I'm talking over here.
- This kid ain't
even moving her lips.
This is a baby ventriloquist!
- I'm talking over here.
- I know it's you.
I mean, I'm, your, ah.
You?
What's your name?
- Donald.
- Are you a good boy?
- No, it's not my nature.
I'm a problem child.
- Get a load of the kid,
he's a problem child.
Just like me, I think.
Would you like to have
me read you a story
before you fall asleep?
- That's been tried, too.
(thudding)
(grunting)
- Oh this kid, been tried too.
Breath, out, you,
I ought to, I ought
to, I ought to...
"Jack and the Beanstalk."
That's my favorite novel!
Donald, can I read this to you?
- Well, I want to
keep you happy.
Let's hear how it goes.
- Thank you, Donald.
Once upon a time,
that's pretty
exciting, isn't it?
Once upon a time, a
whole village was tur--
A whole village was terr--
- Terrorized.
- Yeah.
Yeah, the whole
village was terrorized
by a ferr--
A furr--
- Ferocious.
- Yeah.
Donald, do me a favor.
This is a very exciting book
about the giant and everything.
Will you read it to me, please?
I can't get over the big words.
- Only because I'm
fascinated by you.
Here, hold my club.
- Yes, fascinated.
- Once upon a time,
a whole village was terrorized
by a ferocious giant.
- Yeah.
- Who lived in a
castle in the sky.
In this village lived a
simple peasant boy named Jack.
And his widowed mother.
They had come up on hard
times because of the giant.
One day, Jack was told
to bring their only cow
to the market and
sell him for food.
Jack, being very stupid--
(voice drowned out by music)
- Hey!
Wee!
Ooh, ooh!
(humming)
(exciting music)
Princess Eloise.
(steady music)
(cow mooing)
Your Highness.
- I wonder if I could
have a glass of water.
- Yes, your Highness.
Hey Billy, can you imagine me
getting water for the Princess?
(sighing)
(fabric tearing)
Uh oh.
(goat baaing)
See anything, Billy?
(baaing)
Oh Princess, I would've
brung you the water.
- I'm a little tired of
people waiting on me.
It must be wonderful
to be allowed
to do everything you want
to, whenever you want to.
- Oh, you don't get
around much, do you?
- What do you mean?
- You mean you haven't heard?
There's no food in the village.
The giant, he's
taken everything.
He's even taken your father's
crown jewels, didn't he?
- That's why I have to
marry Prince Arthur.
- Well, isn't it a love match?
- I've never even seen him.
But his people have money.
Did you ever have to marry
a man you've never seen?
- They tell me I'm a boy.
- So you are.
And a very nice boy.
- Thank you, your Highness.
Why don't you run away?
- Princesses can't do that.
- Oh, but maybe he'll
be young and handsome,
and you'll fall madly
in love with him.
- That only happens
in fairy tales.
Thank you for the water.
- Thank you, your Highness.
And Princess, remember.
Have courage, fear nothing
when you're in the right!
That's my motto!
- Jack.
- Yes, mother?
- Jack, you must stop
talking to yourself.
- I wasn't talking
to myself, mother.
I was talking to
the Princess Eloise.
- Princesses don't
talk to peasant boys.
Oh Jack, when are
you going to grow up
and get some sense?
- Does one go with the other?
- Jack, I've come to a
very important decision.
- You're not gonna give me away.
- No.
If we're not to starve,
I'll have to sell our
last valuable possession.
- No, you're not
gonna sell the cow.
- She has to go.
- You can't sell Henry.
- Jack, how many
times have I told you,
Henry isn't a proper
name for a cow.
- Alright, from now on,
I'll call her Halbert.
But you still can't sell Henry.
- Take her to the
market this morning,
but be sure to get a good price.
- Yes mother.
You can depend on me.
Whatever they bid,
I'll bid higher.
- Jack, you'll be
selling, not buying.
- There's a difference?
- Fetch me a pale of water,
and then be on your way.
- Yes, mother.
(gentle suspenseful music)
Now look, Henry.
This is the last time
I'm gonna let you look.
You look beautiful.
You and I are gonna
part very soon.
You were the only thing I loved.
Now this is the last look
you're gonna get, Henry.
Take a look.
Don't you look pretty?
Oh, parting is such sorrow.
We gotta go, Henry.
Uh oh.
(trumpets blaring)
- Whoa, boy.
Tell me, young fellow,
will this road take me
to the royal palace?
- No sir, but your horse will.
Say, you're Prince Arthur.
- So they tell me.
- Oh boy, will the
Princess be surprised.
- Princess Eloise?
- Mm-hmm, you should've heard
what she said about
you this morning.
- No worse than
I said about her.
Any girl who will marry a man
for his father's money--
(rumbling thunder)
- Uh oh, the giant.
It's the giant, Henry.
But you're safe with me.
I won't let him take you.
See?
What did I tell you, Henry?
I protected you.
Now look, Henry, I
gotta go tell the Prince
about the bad giant, stay here.
Hey Prince, where did you go?
Oh come on, this is
no time to play games.
Oh Prince.
Oh Prince!
Hey Prince, hey Prince!
(dogs barking)
Get off me!
Help, help me!
(dogs barking)
(mooing)
He's a rough one, Henry.
Cut it out, no!
(dogs barking)
- But why don't
you have any cloth?
- My good woman, for
cloth you need wool,
and for wool you need sheep,
and someone stole all our sheep.
- Oh I don't believe that
silly story about the giant.
- Oh, there's a giant
alright, Mrs. Mergatroyd,
because I saw him.
- You see a lot of things
that other people don't.
- Did you really see him Jack?
- I saw his shadow.
- How do you know it
was the giant's shadow?
- That's a very good
question, goodbye.
- Where are you taking that cow?
- I'm gonna take my cow to
Mr. Dinkelpuss the butcher.
(people chattering)
- What's all the excitement?
- You have a whole cow.
- And don't you
try to deceive us!
- You're not gonna hold this
one for the black market.
The idea of selling those less
sirloin steaks for
seven cents a pound.
There ought to be a law.
- Now ladies, ladies, ladies.
I haven't seen a cow
around here for months.
But you bring somebody to
me with such an animal,
I'll reward him like he's never
been rewarded in his life.
I'll make him rich,
richer beyond his dreams!
I'll pour gold into his pocket.
I'll pour gold so deep, that--
Wait a minute, not
that scrawny animals.
Huh, you're not trying
to pawn him off to me
as first grade beef?
Why I wouldn't let my worst
customer use him for stew.
- Her.
And I love Henry.
- Well, everybody
to their taste,
but come inside, Jack,
and I'll give you the
best deal I can afford.
- Come on, Henry.
(cow mooing)
- Imagine that.
I mean, all beef,
we haven't had any,
and look at this cow.
I'd like to get some of that.
- I certainly would, too.
- What you doing?
Hey, what's the idea of that?
- Well I don't want
everyone to know
how generous I am.
- Oh, how much are you
gonna give me for the cow?
- What, you're asking money
for that wonderful animal?
I was gonna give you beans.
- What do I want with beans?
- What do you want
with my magic beans?
I should have my head examined.
Trying to make you rich.
Money you're asking for, eh?
I'll give you money,
worthless money.
How much do you want?
Any price at all, how much?
- Now wait a minute,
Mr. Dinkelpuss.
I don't want that
worthless money.
Either I get the magic
beans or I take Henry home.
- Well, you strike
a hard bargain, boy.
- No beans, no cow.
- Well I know when I'm licked.
Come on out in the garden.
I keep my beans
hidden out there.
Come on.
- Magic beans.
You gotta get up awfully
early in the morning
to put anything over on me.
Come on, Henry.
Let's go, Henry.
Henry.
- One, two, three, four.
Now, they must be
around here someplace.
You've gotta keep
'em buried, you know.
You can't let the village know
where these magic beans are.
They're priceless.
There they are.
My magic beans.
Don't tell anybody that I
gave them to you, will you?
- Yes sir.
- Shush, it's a secret.
But I'll never realize,
I'll never know how you
ever talked me out of them.
- Mr. Dinkelpuss.
- What?
- Can I say goodbye to Henry?
- Well surely, go ahead.
- Alone.
- Alone?
Right ahead.
- I gotta say goodbye now.
(melancholy music)
Be a good boy for
Mr. Dinkelpuss.
Do you mind if I kiss
you goodbye, Henry?
You's such a good pal.
- The Princess!
- The giant has
stolen the Princess.
- Henry, you hear
what they're yelling?
The giant has
kidnapped the Princess.
(people chattering)
Goodbye, Henry.
(melancholy music)
(rumbling thunder)
(cow mooing)
- Now don't worry.
I've been robbed!
- Mother!
Mother.
A terrible thing has happened.
- Oh, somebody swindled
you out of our cow.
- Oh no, I made a
nice deal for Henry.
But the giant
kidnapped the Princess,
and is holding her for ransom.
- Oh the poor girl.
I'll gladly contribute the money
you got for the cow.
- Money.
Only a fool would
take worthless money
for such a valuable animal.
I got five magic beans.
- Oh Jack, why is it whenever
I send you on an errand,
you always do the wrong thing?
- One, two, three,
four, five magic beans.
Ain't I a smart boy for
out-smarting the butcher?
- You were indeed.
Plant the beans, my boy.
Maybe they'll grow
something that we can eat.
- Mother.
- Plant the beans, Jack.
- I'll plant the beans.
I'll plant them.
(humming)
Oh, you're not ordinary
beans, are you?
Please, beans.
Will you grow like magic beans?
So I can prove to my
mother and everybody else
that I'm not addle-brained
like they think I am?
Or am I?
Oh magic beans.
One, two, three, four, five.
Grow, please grow.
(gentle music)
- Jack, will you
please go to bed?
- Yes mother.
Please grow for me,
magic beans, please.
(bright mystical music)
(lively music)
(suspenseful music)
(gasping)
Mother, mother!
Mother!
(upbeat music)
Mother!
- Jack, what do you want?
- Will you please get my mother?
- I am your mother.
- Mom, mother, look!
Look, the beanstalk!
(people chattering)
(horse whinnying)
- Huge beanstalk!
Look at it!
It goes way up in the sky!
- I tell you all.
(people chattering)
I grew this
beanstalk last night.
With five beans that I planted.
Five magic beans.
- Jack dear, please stop
repeating that nonsense.
- Mother, this isn't nonsense.
This is the truth.
- Hey, are those the
beans that I gave you
for that cow that disappeared?
- You mean Henry ran away?
- Yes, and I want my beans back.
- Don't you dare
disturb that beanstalk.
It might lead up to
the giant's castle.
- So what?
- So what?
Maybe a brave boy will
climb that beanstalk
and k*ll the giant
and save the Princess,
and live happily ever after.
- Oh no, Jack.
The giant will k*ll you like
he did your poor father.
- Have no fear, mother.
I'm gonna climb that beanstalk,
and I'm gonna k*ll the giant,
and avenge my father.
And then I'm gonna
save the Princess.
And while I'm up there,
I'll look for our little Nelly.
- You mean this
boy had a sister?
You poor unfortunate woman.
- Oh no, Nelly was our hen
who laid the golden eggs.
- A hen that lays a golden egg?
- 14 carat.
- Up there?
- Oh sure!
- Well, let me help you, my boy.
- Goodbye, mother.
- I'll go along with you.
- Goodbye, mother.
- That's a boy.
Take your time now.
There we go.
- Goodbye mother.
(people chattering)
- Don't worry, Mrs. Strong.
He won't be back.
- You don't understand.
He wasn't much.
But he was all I had.
(steady music)
♪ There goes Jack
♪ The reckless fool
♪ He's scooting
up the beanstalk ♪
♪ And with another fool
♪ Maybe tonight the two
♪ Will be battling
out the hole ♪
♪ There goes Jack
♪ The village loon
♪ And almost up the beanstalk
♪ Scampering to the moon
♪ Doesn't know what he's doin'
♪ He's hurrying to his ruin
♪ Now giant finds
it bothersome ♪
♪ To grapple with the m*dget
♪ He'll pin young Jack
beneath his thumb ♪
♪ And strike him with a digit
♪ Strike him with a digit
(exciting music)
♪ Jack and the beanstalk
♪ We'll long remember when
♪ He shimmied up the stalk
♪ To beard a giant in his den
♪ Once up the beanstalk
♪ If Jack is set upon
♪ Then Jack be nimble,
Jack be quick ♪
♪ Or Jack, you're good as gone
♪ Up, up, up, up,
there he goes ♪
♪ Up to where, nobody knows
♪ Long is the beanstalk
♪ And short is little Jack
♪ The long and short of it is
♪ Is he ever coming back
♪ Jack and the beanstalk
♪ There goes Jack
♪ But is Jack ever coming back
♪ I'll be back and
when I've reappeared ♪
♪ With the giant by the beard
♪ You will tell the
kids the legend ♪
♪ Of the famous
giant-k*ller Jack ♪
♪ Jack and the beanstalk
♪ Jack and the beanstalk
♪ Oh
(exciting music)
- Come on, Mr. Dinkelpuss.
Give me your hand.
- Wait a minute.
- Ooh!
- Take it easy.
- Let's go.
(gentle music)
The giant!
- I am the butcher.
- Well, cut me up.
Mr. Dinkelpuss.
- What?
- The giant's castle.
- What?
Hey, you're right.
Look at it.
(suspenseful music)
Come on.
- We're in giant land.
Wait a minute.
Look at those footprints.
- Wow.
- We must be getting
close to the giant.
Come on.
Mr. Dinkelpuss.
- Now wait a minute.
Are you sure that hen
Nelly lays golden eggs?
- Mm-hmm.
- 14 carat?
- Mm-hmm.
- Well, then don't be afraid.
- I won't.
- Just follow me.
(steady music)
(suspenseful music)
(growling)
- Wait a minute, Mr. Dinkelpuss.
- What's the matter?
- How come your shadow
is bigger than mine?
- Well the taller you are,
the taller your shadow.
You see, that's a basic
principle of mathematics.
- I am shorter than you.
Therefor, my shadow should
be smaller than yours.
Mathematically speaking, right?
- Right, why?
- My shadow is making a fool
out of your mathematics.
- Why, why that's impossible.
That can't be your shadow.
- No?
Well watch this.
(gentle music)
- Amazing.
- You think so?
Now watch this.
(gentle music)
- Can you imagine that?
Now if I didn't see
this with my own eyes,
I wouldn't believe it.
It's absolu--
Hey.
What, the--
(suspenseful music)
- Hey Mr. Dinkelpuss,
you've gotta look at this.
This is terrific.
(gentle music)
Mr. Dinkelpuss.
Mr. Dinkelpuss.
Oh, I think he's
afraid of my shadow.
Why don't you be like me?
I'm brave because--
♪ I fear nothing
(bright instrumental music)
♪ When I am in the right
♪ Whoever pushes me around
♪ Will find me full of fight
(humming)
♪ I fear nothing
♪ When I do nothing wrong
♪ And so I toddle on my way
♪ And sing a merry song
♪ I'll be defiant
♪ And be obstreperous
♪ If any giant should try
to salt and pepper us ♪
♪ If thou rise up
♪ Up to my fullest height
♪ 'Cause I fear
absolutely nothing ♪
♪ When I'm in the right
(scat singing)
♪ A man believes
what he believes ♪
♪ And by these principles,
a man must stand ♪
♪ A time will come for
rolled up sleeves ♪
♪ And it might help to
have a fist on hand ♪
♪ If I believe that I am right
♪ There's only one
thing to be done ♪
♪ I don't go looking
for a fight ♪
♪ But I have never
run away from one ♪
♪ But only fools
will take a dare ♪
♪ And there are things
that only fools defy ♪
♪ If you smell
trouble in the air ♪
♪ I'll hold my breath
until the breeze blows by ♪
♪ I'll snort defiance
♪ Like some rhinoceros
♪ Afraid of giants
♪ Now isn't that preposterous
♪ I find courage a
thing of great delight ♪
♪ Sing fee-dilly-ay
and fee-dilly-I ♪
♪ With steady hand
and steely eye ♪
♪ I fear nothing when
I am in the right ♪
(scat singing)
(gentle music)
(weeping)
(roaring)
(suspenseful music)
(growling)
(roaring)
(suspenseful music)
- How did you get
here before me?
- I made a new path
through the forest.
- Did you see what I saw?
Did you see that giant?
He's as big as the trees.
Please, why did you ever
talk me into this thing?
- I didn't talk you into this.
- Now listen, you know my
reputation in the village.
You know I had to listen to you.
Why did I ever let you do it?
Why did you do it?
Well don't stand there
with your mouth wide
open, say something!
- Mr. Dinkelpuss, I'm up
here to save the Princess.
- The Princess?
- We gotta save her.
- You're right, the Princess.
- There's the castle.
(wind howling)
Let's go.
- Come on.
What am I doing?
Go ahead.
- Thank you.
- Oh, it's beautiful.
But it's a trifle
too small for me.
- A trifle, she says.
The only thing I do wish
I knew why the master keeps
a wench like you around.
- He likes my cooking.
And I don't want to hear
another word out of you.
- Oh cuckoo.
Can you make an Irish stew?
Can you boil a potato like my
poor mother used to boil them?
- I can put you back in the
cupboard if you don't shut up.
- I know you can tell 'em that
you never put the
Princess in her cell
like he told you to.
- You win this time.
- Patrick always wins.
Come back to Urden,
my violin, my violin.
Oh just in fine
voice I am today.
- I still can't believe
that harp talks.
- He talks too much.
- How do I look?
- Ready to be locked up.
- Well do I have to be?
- Orders, me dainty
beauty, orders.
- Unfortunately, he's right.
- I meant to ask you,
are you the giant's wife?
- Heavens no, I'm
his housekeeper.
He stole me last year
from another kingdom.
- Well what will he do with me?
- Release you for
ransom money, perhaps.
- And if there is
no ransom money?
- You'd make a
lovely Sunday dinner.
(gentle strumming)
- Music in a dungeon like this?
- Thank you for
calling it music,
whoever you may be.
- Who is he?
- A troubadour the giant
picked up yesterday.
- Who are you?
- I'm just a girl from
the village below.
- What's your name?
- Darlene.
- Are you as pretty
as your name?
My guess is yes.
(gently strumming)
- That's a nice melody.
Are there words to it?
- Not yet, but there
can be by tonight.
What will you be doing?
- What did you have in mind?
- A rendezvous in the garden.
I'll speak to the
giant about it.
- Fee fie foe fum.
I smell the blood
of an Englishman.
Be he alive or be he dead.
I'll grind his bones
to make my bread.
- Mister, if I'm
too heavy for you,
I'd justly walk.
- Me too.
(laughing)
(weeping)
(banging on door)
- Open the door!
- Take me with you.
(giant laughing)
- Open the door!
(banging)
- Open the door!
Open it!
- Here's some extra
help for the kitchen.
- You're a little
one, aren't you?
- Well I grow on people.
(sneezing)
- Bless you, me boy, bless you.
- Who said that?
- What do you know,
a talking harp.
- You said that?
- I said bless you.
And I'm sorry now that I see
your silly little
face a bit closer.
- Oh!
- Thank you, master.
'Tis a sight for sore
eyes, it is, yeah.
- Thank you, Patrick.
- Well, I'm off to
hunt in the forest.
- Will you want any supper?
- Just a midnight snack.
- Anyone we know?
- Could be.
(laughing)
What's the matter with you?
- Did you hear that?
- Yeah, I hope it's not me.
(weeping)
- Then what's the
matter with you?
- You're standing on my foot!
- Ah.
- Come with me.
I'll show you what
you're supposed to do.
- Yeah, you show me,
and I'll show him.
- Make the little fat one
work 'til his back breaks.
Oh I love the sound
of cracking bones.
- You're a bad harp,
and you're gonna have a bad end.
- Sticks and stones,
sticks and stones!
- Alright blabber mouth.
Into the cupboard you go.
- Don't you dare put me in
that dark cupboard again!
Don't you dare!
A thousand curses on you.
Oh I'll have me revenge!
♪ Come back to him
♪ The morning, the morning
A thousand curses on you, nas--
- That harp had very
bad bringing up.
- You must be hungry.
Would you like a glass of
milk before supper's ready?
- Thanks.
- Thank you miss.
Or is it Mrs?
- It's miss, why?
- Well, when I look at you--
- Now now wait now now.
You're too young to
go out with girls.
- Yeah, but this
might age me fast.
Here's to us.
- No, leave that alone.
- I don't want to
lose any of it.
- Well don't get hoggish.
- To us!
- To us!
Why you sweep me off my feet.
- I'd need a little
help for that.
Well, here.
It's Henry's, she's here!
- How do you know?
- No other milk ever
tasted this pleasant.
Where is she?
- There's plenty
of time for that,
but I have an idea
how we can escape,
if you're interested.
- We're interested.
- Not me.
Not unless I can take
along the Princess.
- Does she mean
that much to you?
- Oh no, you jealous?
You needn't be.
I promised my
mother that I would
return home with the Princess.
And after all, a boy's
best mother is his friend.
Huh, is that right?
- No!
(gasping)
- Your song's finished.
- My song?
- Listen.
(strumming lightly)
♪ Darlene, a song for Darlene
♪ Darlene
♪ For you alone
♪ Darlene
♪ Your name is music
(romantic music)
♪ Music I've never known
♪ He walks in heaven
♪ Who walks with music
♪ And it's heaven being here
♪ Heaven being very near
♪ Darlene
♪ My darling Darlene
♪ Darlene
♪ My song is
♪ You
- That's beautiful.
- It's mush.
- Jack.
- Princess!
- Sh, don't call me that.
- What are you here, incognito?
- Well sort of.
There's a young man
in the next cell,
and I don't want him
to know who I am.
- Why not?
- All my life I've wanted
someone to know me as me.
Not as Princess Eloise.
- You have but to
command, your Highness.
Here, eat this.
That will make you
good and strong
so we can sail
you over the wall.
- Sail me over the wall?
- Yes, we're gonna
build catapults
out in the garden.
And the housekeeper,
she thought of it.
She's on our side.
- Oh, you don't supposed
she'd let us out tonight
for a rendezvous in the garden?
- Princess, I didn't think
that you cared for me.
- Not you.
I meant the young
man I told you about.
- Oh.
Well, if I approve.
After all, I am one of
your royal subjects.
And I do so want
to see our Princess
go out with the right fellow.
Goodbye, your Highness.
(banging)
Prince Arthur.
I wondered what happened to you.
- Hey, aren't you the
young fellow with the cow?
- I'm alone now.
Here's your supper.
- I guess the Princess
was disappointed
when I didn't show
up at the wedding.
- I never saw a girl
cry so much in her life.
What are you whispering for?
- I don't want the
girl in the other cell
to know I'm a Prince.
- You don't?
- No.
Look, you seem to have
some influence around here.
You don't suppose you could--
- Let you out tonight
so you could have
a rendezvous in the garden?
- How did you know?
- It's a secret.
But first of all,
I'll have to get you
some other clothes,
because the clothes you have on
make you look too much
like a Prince, Prince.
Or, your Highness, excuse me.
(banging)
I'm sorry.
(squealing)
- What have you decided?
- Well, his parents don't
have the background of yours,
but he's a wonderful fellow.
And your loyal subject approves.
- Thank you, Jack.
- I just got through
telling the housekeeper,
and now I'm gonna tell you.
- What's on your mind?
- The Prince is not the Prince,
and the Princess is
not the Princess.
- Then who are they?
- Just a boy and girl in love.
Tonight, I want you
to order a full moon
and keep the stars
shining bright.
History is gonna
be made tonight.
- Princess.
- Mr. Dinkelpuss, I just
got through telling you.
She's not the Princess,
she's Darlene.
Aren't you, Princess?
- Are these the catapults?
- Yes, this is my own creation.
You see, all you have
to do is get on here,
I cut the rope, and zoom,
you go right over the wall.
- Will it work?
- She's asking me will it work.
(laughing)
- I'm asking you
too, will it work?
- Will it work?
Get on here, Jack.
- Wait a minute,
is it dangerous?
- Well it's far too
dangerous for a human being.
But get on here,
I'll show you what
I've been working on.
Get--
- Wait a minute.
Too dangerous.
Much too dangerous
for a human being?
Hmm hmm!
Come, Princess, I mean, Darlene.
- Oh, it's a lovely night
to be somebody else.
Tell me, what's he like?
- He sings very pretty.
- Oh I know but shall I,
shall I let him
kiss me if he tries?
- Oh Princess.
Why not?
- I had your word you
won't try to escape.
- You have my word.
- Jack!
Come on.
- He loves me.
(gentle music)
He loves me not.
He loves me.
- Stop right there.
Don't take a chance.
- You're...
- And you're...
- That's right.
- Is it?
- I didn't expect somebody so...
- Neither did I.
- Won't you?
- Sit down?
- Thank you, I will.
- Would I be bold if I...
- If you put your arm around me?
♪ There's a dreamer's
cloth that dreamers weave ♪
♪ A tapestry
♪ Of make believe
♪ The fine brocade
♪ Of all your schemes
♪ Exquisite fabric from
♪ The mill of dreams
♪ The threads are golden
♪ Of silken strands
♪ But not to hold in
♪ These eager hands
♪ Maybe if someday
♪ Our arms entwine
♪ We'll weave a
dreamer's cloth ♪
♪ That's yours and mine
♪ Imagination isn't real
♪ But isn't it a
spinning wheel ♪
♪ That spins the
fabric on the loom ♪
♪ The frame that has
a world of room ♪
♪ So spin your world
and round you go ♪
♪ And sew and stitch
and stitch and sew ♪
♪ The dreams you spin
are finally spun ♪
♪ And dreamers work
is never done ♪
♪ The threads are golden
♪ Of silken strands
♪ But not to hold in
♪ These eager hands
♪ Maybe if someday
♪ Our arms entwine
♪ We'll weave a
dreamer's cloth ♪
♪ That's yours and mine
♪ If only dreamers cloth
♪ Were yours and mine
(gentle music)
- He's kissing her.
I mean, she's kissing him.
Hap, hap, hum.
Oh, they're in love.
- Dance?
- Yes.
(romantic music)
(whistling)
(wailing)
(smacking)
(smacking)
(thudding repeatedly)
(gasping)
(thudding)
(dramatic music)
(smacking)
(suspenseful music)
(thudding)
What are you doing
with the hammer?
- What am I doing
with the hammer?
I'm gonna tap every
one of those hens
'til I find the one that
lays the golden egg.
- Polly want a cr*cker?
- No, I'm sick and
tired of that line.
(whistling)
(chirping)
(hens calling)
- Mr. Dinkelpuss, make
sure you find Nelly.
- I'll find her, alright.
(tapping)
(chickens brooding)
- Mr. Dinkelpuss.
- Yes?
- Did you find Nelly yet?
- Not yet!
- Well she's easy to find!
She's pure wight and
wears a little red hat.
- Have you got that
chicken food mixed up yet?
- Oh, will be soon.
And wait 'til you see
the eggs they lay.
- Well hurry up.
I've got to get
to the catapults.
(chickens squawking)
- I'm a little farm boy.
I'm one guy that knows how to
mix this food, Mr. Dinkelpuss.
- Well feed the chickens!
- I will.
(chickens chattering)
(humming)
- Go ahead, feed it to 'em.
- Okay, chicky
chicky chicky chicky!
(stomping)
- And a good, good
morning to you, master.
Erin go Bragh.
- Good morning, harp.
Housekeeper, housekeeper!
Where's my breakfast?
- On the way.
- And bring me my favorite hen.
- And what, heaven forbid,
do you see in that
white-feathered biddy?
- Golden eggs, Patrick.
Solid golden eggs.
- The cells are unlocked,
and I put the keys back.
- They're whispering, master.
What are they whispering about?
- Oh I hate him.
- Please take care of yourself.
- I think she's worried.
She cares for me.
- Where's my breakfast?
- Yes, master.
- Here's the eggs.
Everything is going fine.
- I'll go mad, stark raving mad
if they don't stop
that whispering.
- Hey, get a load
of those jewels.
(whistling)
Come on.
- Beautiful they are,
but can they bring
you happiness?
- How'd that little
one get in there?
Where's my breakfast?
- You heard the giant.
Can I help you put 'em away?
- Can I trust you?
- Why, what a
ridiculous question.
- Can I trust you?
- Well frankly, no.
(chicken squawking)
- My jewel of jewels.
- My jewel of jewels.
What can she do that I can't do?
- Can you lay a golden egg?
- I shudder at the thought.
- Show him how talented you are.
(squawking)
Lay, hen, lay.
- Nelly.
How could you?
- It's only gold.
- It's my main source of wealth.
Take her away.
You.
- Yes sir.
- I like a dishonest
man who admits it.
Carry these jewels
back to the vault.
She'll show you where it is.
- Yes sir.
- Do I or don't I
get my breakfast?
- Yes sir.
- A man could
starve around here.
Make me a small omelet.
- Two eggs?
- 22!
- 22.
Fresh laid this morning.
I fixed them special
breakfast food myself.
(sizzling)
(booming)
(booming)
(growling)
(banging)
(crashing)
- What's all the
sh**ting around here?
- Don't ask me, ask the eggs.
- Eggs don't explode.
- Oh no?
Look at this.
- Ah, give it here.
(booming repeatedly)
(growling)
You numb skull!
I can't eat, you
ruined my appetite.
- Oh Mr. Giant, you
should eat something.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- No, no.
- Oh yeah.
- Oh no.
- Oh.
- No, no.
Mr. Dinkelpuss!
Mr. Dinkelpuss!
- Boy, when the giant
gets that in the stomach.
- I'll go get the giant.
♪ Fee fie foe fum
♪ I smell the blood
of an Englishman ♪
♪ Be he alive or be he dead
♪ I'll grind his bones
and make my bread ♪
(spitting)
- Mr. Dinkelpuss!
(cranking)
Mr. Dinkelpuss!
Oh, Mr. Giant, don't!
- The Prince and the Princess,
they're trying to escape.
- Let them.
- They've taken your jewels
and your hen that
lays the golden egg.
- The scoundrels.
Keep him solid.
(suspenseful music)
(growling)
Who's trying to
steal my treasures?
- We are, what about it?
(suspenseful music)
(growling)
(banging)
(crashing)
(suspenseful music)
- Oh!
Nice work, Mr. Dinkelpuss!
Hey, get everybody ready,
get the catapults all set,
and I'll take care of him.
- Come on!
- Polly, get the chains.
Come on, hurry up.
Hurry up, Polly.
Come on, and get
him all tied up.
(grunting)
Hold him, Polly.
Hold my stuff, hold
my stuff, thank you.
Okay Polly.
Okay, go upstairs now,
I'll take care of him.
(suspenseful music)
(banging)
Oh, you still hurt.
(banging)
- Ah, it's locked.
(banging)
Come on, come on.
- Why ain't you folks
out in the garden?
- The door is locked.
- Well, where's the key?
- The giant must have it.
It isn't with the
rest of the keys.
- Oh, how about the window?
- It's too high!
- Too high, too high.
Door's locked, the
window's too high.
- Now what do we do?
- Think Jack, think.
I got it!
- What?
- You take Darlene.
Put her on the mantle
piece over the fireplace.
Hurry up, come on, quick!
Mr. Dinkelpuss, you and Polly
get under the chandelier.
- Wait a minute, wait a minute.
- Get under the chandelier.
Hurry up!
(suspenseful music)
- Master, master.
'Tis a black day, indeed.
- You keep your mouth shut,
or I'll cut you to ribbons!
Hey, hey, come here.
Now look, I'm gonna get
the chandelier over here,
I'm gonna put you on it,
and sail you right
out the window.
And Darlene's coming next.
Then you get her.
Watch out.
(suspenseful music)
Here you are.
Do be careful.
- I'll try.
(suspenseful music)
- Come on, Mr. Dinkelpuss.
You're next!
- I'll be right back.
I forgot a couple of things.
(suspenseful music)
(chains rattling)
(growling)
- Mr. Dinkelpuss,
why you greedy boy.
- What do you mean?
- What are you doing with the
giant's jewels, and my Nelly?
- Nevermind that,
swing me out of here.
- Take your time,
there's no rush.
- What do you mean?
- Quiet, quiet.
(squawking)
My little gold mine.
- That's my Nelly.
Let me see the jewels.
- Oh no, they're mine.
All mine, I share
them with no one.
I, I come a long ways with, I...
Oh.
- Mr. Dinkelpuss, I have
not seen a face like that
since I seen a pork
chop in the window.
And you have no fear.
Polly and I, we
chained the giant up
down in the dungeon.
He can't get away,
because I left him--
(yelling)
(suspenseful music)
Now Mr. Giant, if you
come one step forward,
I'll let you have it!
(horns blaring)
- Help me.
Thanks.
(giant growling)
(suspenseful music)
(smacking)
(suspenseful music)
- Mr. Dinkelpuss,
grab the chandelier
and swing out the window.
Here it comes.
(glass shattering)
- Are you alright?
- Yes, I'm alright.
Come on, let's get
to the catapults.
(suspenseful music)
(growling)
- Hey, hey you!
Hey!
(growling)
(yelling)
(smacking)
(suspenseful music)
(whistling)
Hey you!
(growling)
- Hurry Jack, up on
the mantle piece.
(suspenseful music)
(growling)
- Coward, pushing
an innocent girl.
I will show you no mercy.
I will--
(yelling)
(suspenseful music)
Hurry up, hurry up!
(swords clinking)
Wait a minute, I'm
caught on something!
Wait a minute!
Hold it, wait a minute.
(suspenseful music)
(whooshing)
My sword!
(growling)
(smacking)
(suspenseful music)
(plate crashing)
(banging)
(growling)
(growling)
(suspenseful music)
(crashing)
I fear nothing when
I'm in the right!
All aboard for the
catapult express!
- Well, cut the ropes!
No no no, not that one.
Cut those first, then cut yours.
But don't forget to get on.
- Okay.
Hey.
- What?
- Want me to help
you with the jewels?
- Oh no you don't,
they're mine, mine.
Cut the ropes.
(suspenseful music)
(wooing)
Alright big boy, let's do it.
Goodbye, Mr. Giant!
Here I go!
Wait!
(gentle music)
(humming)
Mr. Dinkelpuss!
Please come down and get
me like a good little tree.
(suspenseful music)
(growling)
(smacking)
(thudding)
(suspenseful music)
(growling)
(gentle music)
(spitting)
(growling)
(suspenseful music)
(banging)
Mr. Dinkelpuss.
Mr. Dinkelpuss!
(melancholy music)
The giant got me.
Oh.
What pain.
I'm too young to die.
- Is this kid kidding?
(squawking)
- Mr. Dinkelpuss!
You gotta help me!
(suspenseful music)
So I--
(banging)
(suspenseful music)
That was a close one.
(crashing)
Oh!
(growling)
(suspenseful music)
(mooing)
- What about Jack?
- I'm afraid he gave
his life for us.
(suspenseful music)
- Uh oh!
Oh!
(suspenseful music)
(thudding)
(thudding)
(thudding)
(suspenseful music)
(booming)
(suspenseful music)
(squawking)
(majestic music)
(people chattering)
- Look, I found a diamond!
- Thanks.
- Look, a diamond!
- I see three people descending!
- My dear boy Jack.
Do you see him?
(people chattering)
Oh Nelly!
You've come back to us.
Ugh, we'll be rich again.
- The King, the King!
- All hail the King.
(majestic music)
- My daughter!
Oh, thank heaven you're safe.
- She's the Princess?
Princess Eloise?
- Why of course, Prince Arthur.
Who did you think she was?
But what are you doing
in those clothes?
- You're Prince Arthur?
- Small world, isn't it?
- I never want to
speak to you again
as long as I live.
Let us go, father.
- Darlene, I mean Eloise,
what's the difference who we are
as long as we love each other?
- You knew all the time a Prince
couldn't break an engagement.
- And neither could a Princess.
How are you going to get out
of marrying Prince Arthur?
- Well how are you
going to get out
of marrying Princess Eloise?
- But that's who you two are.
Don't you remember?
(people chattering)
- Where's my poor boy?
What's happened to Jack?
- The last I saw him,
he was dueling under
death with a giant.
Oh, but a braver
lad never lived.
- Ready or not, here I come!
(all chattering)
Coming down!
- There's the boy.
Come on, there, boy.
- I'm coming.
- There's a hero if
there ever was one.
You should see him.
Come on, boy.
- My boy!
My boy, my boy.
- Oh mother.
When am I gonna
prove that I'm a man?
(suspenseful music)
- Giant, giant!
(all screaming)
- We're doomed!
(growling)
- This is the end!
(screaming)
(suspenseful music)
- Come on, come on!
(chopping)
(growling)
(suspenseful music)
(banging)
(suspenseful music)
(crashing)
(all chattering)
- He went clear
through to China.
(suspenseful music)
♪ I wish the giant were alive
♪ Alive this very minute
♪ To look inside his grave
♪ And see how lovely
he looks in it ♪
♪ He's all laid out
like a very good scout ♪
♪ And he never looked
better in his life ♪
♪ We're happy to give
the devil his due ♪
♪ And he never looked
better in his life ♪
♪ We sing fa la la la la la la
♪ A ha ha tra la la
♪ He's perpendicula-la-la
♪ Tra la la la la
♪ If he could only see himself
♪ He wouldn't know the monster
♪ And if he knew
him, he would be ♪
♪ The only one who wants to
♪ He met his doom
♪ He fall down and go boom
♪ And he never looked
better in his life ♪
♪ Someday by gosh, he'll
be acres of squash ♪
♪ And he never looked
better in his life ♪
♪ He fell on his
vertebra-la la ♪
♪ A ha ha, tra la la
♪ He's perpendicula-la la
♪ Tra la la la la
♪ He's wearing
several branches ♪
♪ Of the beanstalk
for a necktie ♪
♪ I never seen a
better looking ♪
♪ Corpuscle Delecti
♪ His toes are curled
♪ And he's out of this world
♪ And he never looked
better in his life ♪
♪ And there he lays til
the end of his days ♪
♪ And he never looked
better in his life ♪
♪ So tune up the
arches, tra la la ♪
♪ A ha ha, tra la la
♪ He's perpendicula-la la
♪ Tra la la la la
♪ Abysmal to see
- Come on, come on!
♪ And they all live for
Jack and the beanstalk ♪
♪ Jack and the beanstalk,
we'll long remember when ♪
- I manage this boy!
♪ He shimmied up the stalk
♪ To beard the
giant in his den ♪
♪ When you pounce your
kiddies on your knees ♪
♪ In the future nurseries
- Come on, come on!
♪ You will tell them all about
♪ The legend of the
giant-k*ller Jack ♪
(majestic music)
(gentle music)
- Okay King, I'm waiting.
Crown me.
- That's an add request.
(banging)
- h*!
What's the matter with--
You're the biggest racketeer kid
I ever saw in my life!
(stammering)
- What happened?
- Miss, your brother's the
toughest kid I ever saw.
Hey Dink, I had the
most beautiful dream.
- Dream?
Asleep on the job.
(smacking)
(suspenseful music)
- Prince Arthur,
Princess Eloise.
Mr. Dinkelpuss!
- Dinkelpuss?
Are you alright?
- Alright?
Alright?
♪ I fear nothing when
I am in the right ♪
♪ Whoever pushes me around
♪ Will find me full of fight
(scat singing)
(bright music)
♪ I fear nothing when
I do nothing wrong ♪
♪ And so I toddle on my way
♪ And sing a merry song
(scat singing)
(bright music)
(grand orchestral music)
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Jack and the Beanstalk (1952)
Moderators: Maskath3, GabrielAlejo2341, sidolanters, Maskath3, GabrielAlejo2341, sidolanters
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The older Classic's that just won't die. Everything from before 1960's.
The older Classic's that just won't die. Everything from before 1960's.