02x17 - Weekend Weary

[bunniefuu]

♪

♪ The new boy
in the neighborhood ♪

♪ Lives downstairs
and it's understood ♪

♪ He's there just to
take good care of me ♪

♪ Like he's one of the family ♪

♪ Charles in charge
of our days and our nights ♪

♪ Charles in charge
of our wrongs and our rights ♪

♪ And I sing
I want Charles in charge of me ♪

♪ Charles in charge
of our days and our nights ♪

♪ Charles in charge
of our wrongs and our rights ♪

♪ And I sing I want ♪

♪ I want Charles in charge
of me ♪

♪ ♪

Steven, I know you're shy,
but you have to make

some contribution
to this conversation.

Look, just try to form words,

then string them together
into sentences.

[knocking on door]

Hold the phone, Steven,
something is at the door.

Jamie, is Charles back yet?

Uh, no, I don't think so.

Look, Steven,
I'm gonna call you back
from another phone.

In the mean time, try to
think of something to say.

Ah, Lembeck, it's you.

I thought Charles
was in here.

I need him to do
a little work.

Oh, it'll have to be
very little, Mr. Powell.

Mrs. Powell gave Charles
the weekend off,

and we're going to the beach
in a few minutes.

We're about due
for a vacation.

Vacations, Lembeck,
are for people who work.

We have been working,
Mr. Powell.

A whole week of finals
really takes a lot out of you.

Oh, yeah, I bet those pencils
must weigh a ton, huh?

You must have muscles
in your knuckles

from pumping wood.

It figures that Charles
would be off to play

on the one day
that Ellen has a yard sale.

It's all right, though.
It's all right.

Let the old man
lift the heavy boxes.

You hired an old man
to lift boxes?

Lembeck, to use
a psychiatric term,

your doughnut has too much hole.

Hey, Charles! We got everything
except the suntan lotion.

That we can buy at the beach.
- I can't go.

I don't know what that means,
"I can't go."

Let me put it to you this way:
I can't go.

Charles, I found
my old picnic basket.

I thought maybe you'd like to
take it to the beach with you.

I can't go, Mrs. Powell.

I just came back from
the college infirmary, you know.

The doctor told me
that I'm suffering
from academic burnout.

He told me that I have to
stop everything I'm doing,

and get into some heavy R-and-R.

Oh, rock and roll!

No, rest and relaxation.

Wait a minute, Charles,
that's what the beach is for.

That's what I tried to tell
the doctor, but he told me,

"I know what goes on
down at the beach."

He told me no more parties,
no fun, no girls,

no excitement, no traveling...
in other words, no beach.

So, Buddy, why don't you
go to the beach,

and I'll stay here
this weekend.

You know, Charles,
I've been observing you.

You are burning out.

Late at night, I open my window,

I can hear
your brain cells dying.

If you stay here this weekend,
you'll work,

and by Monday
you'll be an eggplant.

Then what?

Then we'll have
something in common.

Charles, stay here
and I promise you,

you will not have to work.

You can just loll around.

No, Mrs. Powell,
I know Charles,

He has this warped sense
of responsibility

that won't allow him
to loll in this house.

Hey, hey, hey, I can loll
any time, any place.

It's just that I don't have
much choice in the matter.

The doctor told me
if I don't loll around here,

he's gonna stick me
in the hospital.

This settles it!

Charles, I'm telling the family

that you are
not to be disturbed.

Why are my books cold?

I'm gonna put this stuff
in the picnic basket.

Yeah, you're gonna have
a great time at the beach.

Beach shmeach!

If you can't go,
I'm stayin' here with you!

No, Buddy,
don't be ridiculous.

I can stay here and relax
because I live here.

You don't.

No, Charles,
I can relax here.

I'm an adjustable guy.

Because any place
I hang my salami is home.

Ah, Buddy, will you settle in?

The game starts in five minutes.

I'm just tryin' to hook up
the sun lamp.

I think I need
an extension cord, though.

Charles, I want you
to just relax, all right?

Steven, I don't wanna
just talk about myself.

Let's talk about you.

How do you like my hair?

[groaning]

Oh, Sarah, let me get that
for you.

Charles. no.
You're supposed to be relaxing.

Remember what the doctor said.

It's all right, Charles,
I've got it.

Oh come on, Sarah,
I can carry one box

without going
into a total meltdown.

Thanks, Charles.

Adam, go in the kitchen
and help your sister

carry some of those utensils.

Okay.

Mom, you're not gonna sell
that sweater?

I've only worn it twice!

Well who knew?
You left it on the floor.

I leave everything on the floor.

It doesn't mean
I don't want it!

Jamie, I asked you three times

to lay out the things
you didn't want to keep.

Now, if you don't want
the responsibility,

don't complain when someone else
takes it.

Okay, I'm sorry.

And I do want
the responsibility.

I'm old enough
to take care of my own clothes,

so I'll go through this stuff
real fast.

Steven, keep holding,
I'll be back in a little while.

Ooh! This is heavy!

Oh, here, Jamie,
I got it.

No, Charles,
you're not well.

Look, it's my mind
that's shot.

My body hasn't gotten
the bad news yet.

Hey, Charles, I got
the extension cord...

You're working.

I'm not working!

Charles, put that box down!

Now you are going to relax
whether you like it or not!

She's right, Charles.

Watching other people work
can be a real kick

if you don't get
emotionally involved.

That's easy for you to say.

You were born a derelict.

All right, instant sunshine,
any time we want it.

Let's check out the tube.

Oh, Mr. Powell,
give me an end of that!

Oh, no, no, no!
I have my orders.

You're on R-and-R.

I'm not to let you lift a finger
even if it kills me.

Dad, I'm amazed!

You really are getting rid of
a lot of stuff.

I figure it's time
to stop living in the past.

I'm gonna take it outside...

...as soon as my heart recovers
from the strain.

Mr. Powell, I insist.
- No, no, Charles, uh...

[nervous chuckling]

Aw, you sure you wanna
part with this, Mr. Powell?

How 'bout that?
It still fits.

It must be a real thrill to know

that your head hasn't grown
since 1945.

Dad, is that all you had
in that box?

Did you really think
you could get away with that?

Well, I thought if I could
get it out of the house,

I might have a chance...

How come we're
the only ones working?

Where's Jamie?

Yeah, where's Jamie?

Where else?

Hello, Jamie, darling,
this is your mother.

I hate to interrupt
you and Steven,

but I need your help.

Who brought these
out of my room?

Didn't you want me to?

Charles!

Did you just sit here
and watch Adam
take these out of my room?

These are
my World w*r II medals!

Did you really think
I was gonna sell them?

I'm sorry, sir.

Adam, why don't you go outside

and watch over
the things in the yard?

Mom, how could you listen in
on my conversation

with Steven Berkle?!

Well, Jamie,
what difference did it make?

Steven didn't say a word!

All right, turn the volume
up, Buddy, let's go.

Hey, would you look at the rain
coming down on that field!

There goes the baseball game.

Where's that game being played?

Shea stadium.

No, it can't be.

I mean, if it was raining
at Shea, it'd be raining here.

Hey, guess what!
It's starting to rain!

Charles, we can handle this
without you!

I can't live like this,
Mrs. Powell!

Please, let me help!

All right,
just this one time!

Buddy, you want to jump in
here, please?

Sure, I knew you'd panic
and start helping everyone.

Hup! Hup! Hup!

All right,
that's all.

Well... that's good.

That's it.
We made it just in time.

I guess we're gonna have to
have this yard sale tomorrow.

Ellen...

...we volunteered
for the veteran's hospital.

We can't be here tomorrow.

Oh, darn, I forgot about that.

We can't have the yard sale.

There'd be nobody here
to run it.

And what am I,
a door stop?

I'm old enough
to be in charge of a yard sale.

Jamie, you are a very sweet

but we can't leave you
in charge of the house

until you prove that you're
a totally responsible person.

Well, then how can I prove it?

Nobody will ever,
ever give me a chance.

Jamie, Jamie...

Mr. Powell, Mrs. Powell...

...if you want
to give Jamie a chance

I can keep an eye on her
for you.

There he goes again.

Charles, you have already
missed your first day
of R-and-R.

I don't want you working
tomorrow.

No, it wouldn't be work,
Mrs. Powell, I'd just...

...be kind of like
a backup for Jamie,

in case of an emergency.

All right, I think we should
give Jamie this chance.

All right, she is to be
responsible for everything.

You are to be responsible
for nothing.

Deal.
- But...

...if anything goes wrong,
I'm holding you responsible.

What's happening?

You people looking
for something?

Yeah, what do you got?

Hey, that's my new overcoat!

Yeah, how much d'you want
for it?

Nothing!
- Thanks!

Oh, no, if you people are here
for the yard sale,

it's in the yard!

That's why it's not called
a bedroom sale!

It's raining
in the yard.

The sale is in the house!

Jamie!

Attention, everybody,
I'm getting up now!

I have nothing on
below my waist!

I, a naked man,
am getting out of this bed!

She knew you were bluffing.

All right, come on,
get out.

Hey, you're not gonna make
a whole lot of money

with that attitude.

Great, and take my coat off,
all right?

Indian giver.

[toilet flushes]

Hey!

Sold!
Thank you very much.

Hey, nice sled.

I know it looks like
a sailor's hat,

but that's half of its charm.

Three dollars
and seventy-five cents

and that's my bottom price.

Jamie, what is happening here?

Charles, I can't believe
how well this is going!

I've sold almost everything!

Are you nuts?!

Does your mother know
you're holding the yard sale
in the living room?

No, it didn't
start raining again
until after they left.

But I am in charge.

A dollar.
Thank you.

Uh, young lady, how much
for these World w*r II medals?

They're not for sale.

You don't want to sell anything,
do you?

Please, Charles,
I'm in charge here!

They're not for sale!

They belong to my grandfather,

and they have
great sentimental value.

Where'd you find 'em?

In that little bedroom
back there.

The yard sale
is in the living room only,
thank you!

Boy, you're really cranky
when you get up in the morning.

Adam!

Put these back
in Grandpa's room, okay?

Okay.
[phone rings]

I got it!

[phone ringing]

Where is it?

Hello, Powell residence.

Who wants to know?

Hey, Jamie, Steven Berkle
for you.

Tell him I can't talk now.

Tell him I'm in charge
of a yard sale.

Tell him I'm thinking about him

and tell him I'll call him back
as soon as I can.

And tell him I miss him.

She's busy.

You turned down
a phone call...

...from Steven Berkle?

I told you
I was a responsible person.

Look, Charles,
you don't feel well
and I don't need you.

Why don't you
go back to bed?

Oh, man.

Oh, Buddy, Buddy wake up.
Wake up!

Charles!
Oh, Charles!

I can't see, I must have
stared into the sun lamp!

Charles, I'm blind!
Charles, I'm blind!

Relax! Relax!
Open your eyes!

you're not blind!

[sighs]

You're just hideously burned!

Owww!

Sorry!

I thought you were
going back to your dorm.

Well, I was,
but I came back early

to catch some rays.

Can't come back from my vacation
without a suntan.

Look around you,
look what's happening here.

Jamie's holding the yard sale
in the living room,

and the place
is full of strangers.

Well, so?
Think of it this way.

This is the beach
and it's tourist season, relax.

Relax?! How can I relax?!
I got a hose full of strangers!

Charles, Jamie's in charge.

Besides, you only said
you'd butt in
if there was an emergency.

Where's the emergency?

Charles! Help!
- There it is.

Jamie, what's wrong?
- Tell him, Adam.

I was gonna take
Grandpa's medals

back to his room as soon
as I cam back from the kitchen!

Honest!

So?

So the medals are gone, Charles!
Somebody stole them!

It's my fault.
Grandpa's gonna k*ll me!

No, it's my fault.
He's gonna k*ll me.

No, no, no,
it's nobody's fault.

So... um...

he's gonna k*ll me.

♪ ♪

All right,
we checked the entire house

and those medals
are definitely gone.

Now, there's a couple of ways
to go here.

Aahh!

Screaming is one of them,

however it is at the bottom
of my list.

Look, we gotta call the police.

no, Charles, you can't
call the police!

If you call the police
Grandpa will know
his medals are gone!

Why don't we stake out
all the pawn shops

like Cagney and Lacey do?

Jamie, Cagney and Lacey
have time to do that!

Their grandfather
isn't coming home in 45 minutes!

Charles, wait!

Maybe we can tell Grandpa

that we sent his medals out
to be polished!

Yeah, maybe then we could
buy him some new ones!

Sarah,
you can't buy those medals,

you have to earn them.

Well maybe we can earn them!

Yeah, maybe we could
enlist in the Navy.

during world w*r II.

Charles, you call the police,
I'm dead.

All that talk I did about
wanting responsibility...

Grandpa will never trust me
again.

[phone rings]

I'll get it.

Hello, Powell residence.

Yeah.

You do?!

Hey, this guy says
he has the medals!

You wanna sell them?!

[stammering]
Meet you where?

A dark alley?
No good. No way.

No way,
dark alleys contain germs.

All right, you know a place
called Sid's Pizza Parlor?

Yeah, we'll be there
in twenty minutes.

All right.

Who was it?

Wrong number.
Who do you think it was?!

It was the thief!

Hey, wait a minute,
I know who that voice was.

You know who it was, Jamie?

That was that little weasely guy

that wanted to buy the medals.

And I told him
they weren't for sale.

Yeah, well they are now.
How much does he want?

He says we can negotiate.

Let's not talk about money
right now.

Let's get down to Sid's
before this guy
changes his mind.

Come on.
- Wait!

What if he's dangerous?!

Sarah, don't worry.
You'll be safe.

Underneath this jovial exterior,
is a man tough as nails.

You'll be--
Owww!

Is your ear burned?
- No.

Hold this.
Come on.

♪ ♪

Shouldn't bite your nails,
you know.

Oh, it's you, the grouch.

Yeah, it's you, the grinch.

Where are the medals?

In a safe place.

You know, a very nice man
fought in the w*r

and earned those medals.

He made a lot of sacrifices
so guys like you...

...can have the freedom
to lie, cheat, and steal.

And don't think
I don't appreciate it!

Why is he red?

Oh, he always turns that color
right before he kills.

You guys can't scare me.

I have the medals.

How do we know that?

Have I ever lied to you before?

If you have the medals,
then prove it.

Okay.

[screams in pain]

Geez, why'd he do that?!

He's warmin' up.

The box is empty!
Where are the medals?

Tell him not to do that anymore!
I hate it when he does that!

I can't control him.
He's a madman.

But it's weird!

A red guy yellin',
drinkin' water

and missing his mouth
by at least a foot!

It really spooks me!

Listen, we aren't
even gonna talk about money

unless we see the medals,
all right?

Why not?

We can negotiate.

Then you give me the money
and I'll go get the medals.

What do I look like, an idiot?

Yeah, what do I look like,
an idiot?

Okay, uh...

You give me five hundred dollars

and I'll give you the medals
here and now.

Hear that, Buddy?
He wants five hundred dollars!

[screaming in pain]

Okay! Okay!
A hundred bucks!

But if he does that again,
I'm leavin'!

Me too!

Oh, so you do have the medals
with you?

Shh! You want everybody to know?

You do have the medals
with you.

All right, mister,
give me the medals,
or you're history!

Oh no, a little girl.

Hey, creepo, I'm not kidding!

Those medals
belong to my grandfather!

Mister Creepo to you.

Get her out of here.

Oh, I'd like to,
but you see, she's in charge
of those medals,

and she's a very responsible
young lady.

What are you talkin' about?
She's a little kid.

Just put the medals
back in the case.

Take a hike!

Look, Mister Creepo,

there's a cop
waiting out in front,

and if you walk out of here
with those medals,

I yell "thief"
and you're dead meat.

You've got thirty seconds
to decide.

How do I know
I can trust her?

Trust me.

Why should I?

Have I ever lied to you before?

Oh, okay, uh...

... how 'bout you give me, uh,

fifty bucks
to cover my expenses?

Beat it, or the red guy
screams again.

It worked!
Your plan worked!

Yeah, but you pulled it off,
Jamie, good work!

Thanks, Charles.
You too, Buddy!

[screaming in pain]

Mom?!

Grandpa?!

Come on, come on.

All right, they're gonna be back
any minute.

Put these medals back
in your grandfather's room.

Everybody start cleaning up.
Let's go!

Come on, Adam,
take more, take more, go.

Some relaxing weekend.

I'm all burned up,
You're all burned out.

You didn't even get a chance
to relax!

you know, Buddy, I thought
of everything but college.

It's unbelievable,
I feel pretty good!

Oh, hi, Mom!
- Well, hi, sweetheart!

Will you look at this?

These bums
haven't moved an inch!

Hi, Buddy, Charles,
is everything all right??

Hi, yeah, great!

We were just getting ready
to watch a little TV.

Mom, guess what!

We made two hundred
and fourteen dollars
on the yard sale!

Well, Sarah, that's wonderful,
but didn't it rain here today?

Yeah, but Jamie
had this great idea

to hold the yard sale
in the living room.

You had a yard sale
in the house?!

Well...

Jamie, I think it's wonderful
that the sale was a success,
but in the...

Charles, I hope
they didn't disturb you.

Oh, no, not at all.

As a matter of fact,
Jamie had the place
so well organized,

Buddy and I
could have been alone
for all we knew.

I tell you,
she's a very responsible person.

Well...

I guess I owe you
an apology, Jamie.

Oh, you owe her a lot,
Mr. Powell.

Yeah, I think
she deserves a medal.

♪ ♪

He's asleep, go ahead.

Okay.

Steven Berkle wants to
sit next to me in algebra class,

but he'd have to trade seats
with David Tarlo,
and David likes me.

Right now Allison Kelly
sits next to Steven,
and she likes him,

and the only reason
she likes him
is because she knows I do.

She really likes Dave,
and the only reason
Dave likes me

is because he likes Allison,
but he thinks she likes Steven.

[sighs]

So what should I do?

Tell Allison
you don't like Steven anymore.

And tell David
that Allison likes him.

So it's okay
if they change seats.

Brilliant!

See I told you,
he's even smarter
when he's asleep!

Come in!

♪ ♪