"THE SHELTER" NURSING HOME
I guess you could say
my adult life started off
on the wrong foot.
I had kids in my twenties
and moved in with their father,
until one day, he just up and left
and never came back.
I'm an expert at this.
He left me with three kids,
a brother-in-law, and a mortgage.
Done. Did it hurt?
But as bad as it sounds,
I was getting by.
I remember it perfectly.
The whole thing.
That was the day
I finally got back on my feet.
-Yes, yes.
-Excuse me, I just gotta--
-Hey, are you--
-Sorry. Coming right behind you.
Single mom of three kids.
Single mom. Excuse me.
Okay, just gonna squeeze…
I'm a single mom.
Just this once, I promise.
Oh, hi. Cristina Ruiz.
-Thanks.
-Seriously?
I raced
to pick up my eldest son,
and the mother superior
was her usual smiling self.
Hello there, Cristina. You're late.
I'll have to charge you
for the late pickup.
You can't leave me alone
for all these hours with Jorgito.
I'm so sorry. It's been a crazy day.
Well, you can make it up
by buying some candles.
Hey, Mom, guess what?
I made over a hundred candles myself.
This week you made that many? Dang!
And you wanna charge me for late fees?
Or how about you pay us
for all the candles?
The candles my son makes for you?
And that you sell for good money.
I'll be late for your sister. Here.
-Thank you!
-She had her festival today.
This is Toto, my middle son.
He's witty
and committed to social justice.
But his one weakness is thinking
he's smarter than everyone else.
And that's Jana, my baby daughter.
She loves to pretend to be tough,
but she's really a total sweetheart.
She keeps us all on a short leash,
because of her terrible temper.
I adore her.
And that's Moi, my brother-in-law,
the brother of my kids' father.
He's pretty much
a useless, pacifist pothead.
He thinks anything can be solved
over a long talk with a joint.
But to be honest, he's the glue
that holds our family together.
I have great news for you all.
This check right here
will pay off the last payment
on our mortgage for this place.
-This apartment will finally be ours!
-Congratulations!
Do you have any idea
what it means
for a single mom to support her family?
They're the most important thing
in my life.
And if anyone tries to do anything
to hurt them, watch out.
-Now you're a pizza!
-Ooh!
-Pretty cool, right?
-Look at my mouth!
Moi, check it out. Look, there it is.
Moi, open the door!
Moisés, get the door!
Hey, Moi! Can't you hear?
Why don't you see who it is?
Moi! Moi! Moi!
-No. No, no, no, no, wait, wait!
-Everybody, stay calm!
You got 15 minutes to pack this stuff up
and get outta here.
-No, there must be some mistake.
-Whose pigsty is this?
No, this is my house!
It was your house. Not anymore.
No! Stop!
Hey, Borges. Call that as*h*le Raúl Ruiz.
Tell him that this apartment
doesn't even begin to cover
the debt he owes me.
Raúl Ruiz? What does my dad
have to do with this?
Hey, let's all calm down and have a smoke.
We can talk this out.
Mom!
Move! Hey! Can't you see
that kid can't put up a fair fight?
Nice!
-Jesus!
-Put him down!
What is this? A pajama party?
-Get out!
-My nose!
-Where is Jana? Jana, my love!
-Mom!
Get your hands off of her! Stop it!
-Hey, Mom!
-Let her go.
Get off me!
-Let's go.
-My doll!
I'm gonna give you exactly one hour
to get your crap out of this place.
Just kidding.
Two minutes.
-Get what you can.
-Hurry it up.
Toto, you help Jorge.
Grab as many clothes as you can.
Find something of value in this sh*thole.
Here comes your uncle.
Here. Let me get that.
-Mom, I got it.
-We're good!
We're going to Grandpa's.
WELCOME TO THE FAMILY
There's no need to worry.
Everything will be all right.
Mom,
why don't we just go to the police?
No need for that. I'll talk
to my dad and we'll sort this all out.
I can't believe I'm finally gonna
meet the Big Bad Wolf himself.
You're not. I'm gonna talk
to him and you're gonna sit in the car.
Just don't let that old fool
talk sh*t about you, okay?
Can't help it if he does.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, here we go.
Please! Just get along.
-What did you just say?
-What a hoity-toity hood, friends!
Is this really it?
Yeah, here. This is it.
This is the house?
Is this really where our grandpa lives?
Yowzah.
Okay. It's all gonna be okay.
We've dealt with worse and gotten through.
-You don't want us to go with you?
-No. I've gotta solve this on my own.
You guys wait with your uncle.
Stay in the van.
Hello, who is it?
Teresita?
It's Cris, Raúl's daughter.
Ah. Be right down.
-Teresita! How are you?
-Cristina.
I didn't recognize you, I apologize.
It's been a long time since I've seen you.
It has.
And you look so very… destroyed.
Uh, thanks, yeah.
Is, uh, my dad here?
No, Mr. Raúl is not here now.
Mm. May I come in?
Sure, come in.
All right.
Hello there.
The name's Lucy.
I'm auditioning for
Detective… Two.
And here are my profiles.
And how have you been,
Teresita? So many years.
I'm doing fine, honey.
How about you?
Who is that?
I'm all right.
I'm a mom now, so you can imagine.
-Oh my goodness!
-Yup.
-I have three kids.
-Three?
Mm-hmm.
That's why I look shitty.
-Oh, you are brave.
-Wow. This house.
It's been a lifetime.
Hey, hey, hey, not so fast.
Uh… Oh, hello, who are you?
Whoa, whoa. No, who are you? Are you
from the IRS? What are you doing here?
No, ma'am. She is Mr. Raúl's daughter.
Oh, the drug addict. Hi!
Teresita, don't worry.
I'll take it from here.
Um, what did you call me?
Oh, don't get mad at me.
It's a nickname your dad came up with.
-Mm-hmm. And what's your nickname?
-Oh, well, he calls me "sweetheart."
He calls me "bad girl."
He calls me "coochie-coochie."
Oh, I see.
You're his 55-year-old sugar baby.
-Oh.
-Pathetic.
Oh, pathetic, is it? No, my dear.
I am your stepmother. Mm?
Okay, well, I, uh, need to talk to him.
So that's it? You just waltz
in here and make yourself at home?
Yes. He took something that belongs to me
and I need to talk to him.
Well, just don't make him mad.
-So you're afraid of him, too, I see.
-No, princess.
-Why would I ever be afraid?
-Ah.
Me and my Ruli are pure love.
You have to see it.
IMMINENT RECESSION
f*cking idiot driver!
Hey, will Grandpa be as mean
as Mom says he is?
Aren't all grandparents
supposed to be nice?
ALFONSO ALDAMA ATTACKS A PASSERBY
-Any time today!
-Keep your pants on.
as*h*le!
-Again? Come on now, stop!
-It stinks so bad.
Hey. Seriously, you guys, behave.
-Stop, Jana, no.
-Enough with the fighting.
Give those back.
Hey! Hey, hey!
Move your puny-a*s sh*t car!
I gotta get into my garage.
Okay, we're leaving!
Hang on!
Come on!
Neighbor?
Neighbor!
Neighbor! Neighbor! Raúl!
Neighbor, how are you?
How is our tree issue?
I beg you not to f*ck with me, Olga.
Not right now.
The branches could break my window,
and who would pay for that damage?
-Okay.
-Tell me. Who will pay, Raúl?
I'll tell you what, let's meet.
Let's have a glass of wine in two hours.
Okay, but a Spanish one,
without sulfites.
Otherwise I get a headache.
It's the worst.
-Perfect. And what are you bringing?
-What else?
I'll bring something.
Cheese, something. I don't know.
All right. See you then.
f*cking witch.
-Have you lived in this house long?
-Yes, yes, it's been a minute.
-And you sort of redecorated, right?
-Oh, sure, I gave it my touch.
That's me and your dad over there.
-Ah, well--
-Oh, and here too, like that.
-That's how much we love each other.
-Mm.
Luciana?
How dare you step foot on my property?
No, how dare you try to take
my property away from me, Dad?
Are you referring to the apartment
you took from your late mother?
I didn't take it!
All Mom did was cosign for me,
so I could get the loan.
I've paid for it for ten years.
-Cosign at the bank?
-Yes.
-Your mother?
-Right here.
Here. These are the payments.
They show exactly
how much I've paid over the years.
Hm. Hm.
There.
It's all right there.
Oh yeah.
Look at that.
Look at that.
Look at you!
Look at what's happened to you
in all these years!
-I'm not here to be judged.
-Only God will judge you. I won't.
But you kicked me out, Dad.
-Because you decided to keep the baby!
-I did! I don't regret it for a second.
He's the most beautiful boy in the world
and you denied to even meet him.
I offered you the opportunity
to be a decent woman
instead of whatever you are now.
A ruined one.
Look, the past is over, okay?
I'm just here to get my home back.
Well, that home is no longer yours.
It's Aldama's. Go ask him.
You really are heartless.
Luciana, for the love of God, do something
useful and get her out of this house.
Dad, no!
You can't do this to me again.
You cannot! I have three kids!
Guess what? I don't care.
I know you don't care, Dad, but I've been
working for this house for ten years!
Don Raúl!
-What did I tell you guys?
-It's your grandchildren!
-The garden is ridiculous.
-I told you not to come in!
How could we just leave you?
And look at them, they're adorable.
-They'll win his heart.
-No.
Are these maniacs my grandkids?
What did you say?
And is this vagabond their father?
Nuh-uh.
No, no. I'm their father's brother.
It's, uh… I'm Uncle Moi.
And where's the father?
Why isn't he here?
Oh, I see, um…
So the dad up and left and you got
together with the brother. Bravo!
Don't start with the conspiracies, Dad.
If you'd listened to your dad's theories,
you would have had a future,
and you wouldn't be saddled--
Saddled? I'm saddled?
That's what you're calling me?
With the best things
that's ever happened to me.
And if anyone's a burden
who shouldn't even be alive, it's you.
-Let's go.
-Let's go.
-No. What's wrong?
-It's okay.
Lu… Luciana.
-What's wrong?
-Moi?
-What is it? Cris, please help.
-Tell them to go!
-No, no, no. Please!
-It's cardiac arrest.
Are you sure? Mom--
-Get them away!
-Hey, go get an aspirin!
-Why?
-I'm a nurse. Well, a resident.
An intern? Oh my God. We need help now!
-Luciana, what now? What's going on?
-Honey, call an ambulance now!
-Is he dead?
-No, no, no, no, calm down.
He has to respond.
He just has to respond.
Because I think he…
Oh, please, what is it? Tell me.
-What is it?
-He's dead.
I…
No! No, your dad cannot have died on us.
He must be in shock or something.
That mummy is not my dad.
Is he really dead?
As a doornail.
Who are those people?
I, uh… I am…
Well, the daughter of the mummy.
-The addict.
-That's the one.
Get the children out of here,
like I told you.
Mom, we're here and we can help you.
I mean, Mom, we can't just go without…
The apartment! No! What are we gonna do
about the apartment now?
How can you be thinking about that?
How can I not? I'm not gonna let that man
leave me on the street again.
-I'm just gonna go with the kids.
-Maybe if we leave the van here.
What do we do? This cannot be happening.
No, no.
-What do we do now?
-Enough! Everyone, shut it.
No one comes in or out of this house
unless I say. Okay?
-I--
-Toto, come with me.
Inés, go, just to make sure.
Follow that drug addict. Go!
-Um, is he dead?
-Whoa, bud.
Is it because of us?
-No, no, it's because of, uh, nature.
-And maybe his bad mood.
-Is everything okay? What's the commotion?
-I need an ambulance, please, urgently!
Everything's fine. He just got so excited
playing with his grandkids.
Okay, you look on that side, okay?
-What are we looking for?
-Grandpa's will.
Okay.
I didn't know your dad was Mussolini.
Come on, we're in a hurry.
No. No.
No, no, no.
Who is this douchebag, Mom?
That's my brother Benjamin.
Always my dad's favorite.
He's capable of leaving him everything,
so we have to find that will now.
-Hey, Mom.
-Mm-hmm?
I think Grandpa really hated you.
What is that?
You looking for the will?
Um, yeah, sure.
-Yes.
-You know where it is?
The dinosaur kept
all of his important papers in here.
-What we want is in there.
-What we want?
I'm not an idiot. I wanna see
if he left anything for my mom.
Yeah, but how are we gonna open the safe?
I dunno. His birthday?
Let's try.
No.
Your birthday.
How about my brother's?
There you go.
See? He was always his favorite.
I guess so.
-All right.
-Medical records.
-I don't think that's it.
-No, the deeds to the house.
No, that's his prostate. Here it is.
WILL
Okay, here we go.
"I hereby declare this
my final will and testament,
and bequeath my son Benjamin
100% of my assets."
It can't be.
Now what do we do?
We have a big problem.
The one who has a big problem is you,
because you and this bunch of haters
only came to k*ll my Raúl.
-You just wait for the ambulance.
-An ambulance?
-Are you crazy? We said--
-I know, but she's…
Do you think I was going to leave
my Raúl's life in the hands of an intern?
Never. He has a very expensive
health insurance coverage
that just so happens
to be valid internationally.
All the more reason to hurry.
Mom, there's something
I really have to show you.
-Mom, what's the point?
-Follow me.
-But just let me show you.
-Listen up.
None of us…
none of us are in the will.
And I haven't been working my whole life
just to be out on the street.
So all of us…
all of us are going to hide the body.
We're going to fix the will, and then
we'll announce the heart attack, okay?
That can't possibly be true.
Raúl would never do that to me.
He was right. You are a parasite.
Well, what am I? A junkie or a parasite?
-Both. A m*rder*r too.
-You're an assassin.
-m*rder*r?
-Yes, an assassin, and also a m*rder*r.
-We'll call the police.
-You wouldn't.
I'm gonna call the police.
-Okay, princess, you think I care?
-Get ready!
-What the…
-She went, like…
-We're going to call the police right now.
-Yes.
Right? Oh, look.
I mean, really!
God.
-She's nuts. That b*tch is crazy.
-To calm the nerves.
Ever since she got here,
she brought a nasty aura.
But all of them! Ugh.
-We need a little drink.
-Sit down, Mom.
-No, no. It's not fair what's happening,
-Sit on down.
We're gonna keep this house and the money.
-Of course. It's bullshit.
-It's gonna be all right.
-Oh, honey, thanks.
-I'll handle it. Okay?
-Thanks, baby.
-You stay here. You sleep.
-Don't let them get to you. Fight, Inés.
-No, never, Mom, never. I'm your daughter!
Ah, that's good.
-Inés?
-Everything's fine.
Inés, why are you locking the door?
Inés!
Inés, you open this door!
You traitor!
Is this how you repay your mother?
Don't you dare leave me in here!
Inés, I'm your mother! Show me respect!
Jana, Jana, Jana, what are you doing?
Erase that photo, huh?
-What's wrong with you, kids?
-That's it. All done.
…dare leave me here!
She shouldn't be a problem.
I left her with a bottle.
-Just like that?
-Mm-hmm.
Well, thanks, uh, girl.
Okay, let's get to it. We need to find
somewhere to hide a corpse.
-Wait, Cristina.
-And… Uh, yes, uh…
Let's see. Jana, take your brother into
the kitchen and get something to eat.
-It's right there.
-Mom!
Please, yeah? You're gonna find
really yummy things in there.
Okay.
Mom, there must be
a more reasonable way out of all of this.
I've been reasonable all my life
and look where I ended up.
But, Mom, this is just insanity.
Insanity is raising three kids
totally alone.
-That's insanity.
-Kids that you now want as accomplices!
-Come on, help me wrap him up.
-But why?
Because that's how you roll up a dead body
and because I'm your mother, Toto!
Well, that's not how it goes.
It's the other way around.
What do you mean, Moi?
It's the same both ways.
-Like a taquito.
-If you do it that way, it'll spill out.
-This isn't a joint.
-It's gonna come out.
And how do you know?
Yes. Here comes my salvation after all.
It's here.
Hey!
Hey, hello!
Out there!
I'm over here! Help me!
Come rescue me! Stop that b*tch!
Okay, it's, uh… Nobody worry.
Him and I are gonna take care of
the ambulance. You guys move him, okay?
-Roll him up however you want.
-But move him there, put him face down.
What do you mean face down?
It's the same thing.
It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter.
-It doesn't work.
-What do you mean?
-None of this is gonna work. It's--
-Moisés, enough!
Do me a favor. Go be a good uncle or go
smoke whatever this is that you smoke.
-But--
-Go. You're of no help to me!
How could she leave me here?
Oh my God.
Hey! Up here!
-Let's go.
-Dude, help me out.
Hey, I'm telling you that we don't need
paramedics or an ambulance here at all.
-Where's the emergency?
-There is no emergency.
Straight on in, guys.
You're really just wasting time
for someone who actually needs it.
See? We really don't have
any emergency here.
Go to the bar, the bar.
-Slow down. He's f*cking heavy.
-Gentlemen. Not in here.
Don Raúl is always in his office.
-I'll show you. Come on!
-God, lady.
-I don't know what to do to help.
-But I do.
I think we need something more drastic.
We need to distract the paramedics.
Maybe if you play the hero, Uncle,
Mom will see you in a different light.
You think?
Are you okay?
Ah, Don Raúl.
Huh?
What, are you gonna take a nap?
-You're committing suicide?
-I'm just brainstorming.
Nah!
Is that…
Absolutely. Electrocute yourself.
Anything for your mom.
He really did have too much to drink.
But don't worry.
I'll make him a hangover remedy.
-Mom! Moi got electrocuted!
-What?
I'm all right. I'm… I'm okay.
Calm down, sir.
Calm down. Breathe. That's it.
Armando, get the stretcher.
Breathe, it's okay. Let that go.
-Pass me the gauze. Some gauze with water.
-Moisés? What's going on? What happened?
Oh.
Oh, bullshit, this is bullshit.
Bullshit.
Oh sh*t. No way.
Just gotta get through this. g*dd*mn it.
Oh God, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God.
You can do this, Luciana. You can do this!
Oh, I'm an idiot.
Almost there, almost there, almost there.
Come on, almost there.
One more, one more.
Someone help me!
Oh, please, someone help me!
Help!
Help me! Is there anyone there?
Please help!
I can't hold it!
-You, you, you! Little angel!
-Don't call me a little angel.
Don't get angry, please, I just need help.
If you help me, you can live with me.
-Okay, but no more little angel.
-Well, introduce yourself!
-Jorge.
-Oh, Jorge, please. Please help me.
-Keep your legs still. Stop kicking me!
-Oh no!
-Lord, help me!
-Just let go. Stop kicking me!
That's it, right?
Very good. Well, thank you so much,
and I'll accompany you to the door.
-Okay.
-Thank you very much.
-You got it.
-Let's go.
Looks like we've got another call.
This way. It's faster.
-The other way!
-Don't kick me! Hold on.
-Oh, why?
-Then help me.
-Work with me. You gotta let go.
-Help me, I'm slipping!
-I'm gonna hit the ground hard!
-You're still kicking.
Then help me.
Let yourself go!
That's it.
Thank you, Jorge!
Hey!
-I appreciate it.
-Wait!
-Wait for me! Please don't go!
-No! No, no problem.
-Luciana, sh!
-No!
-Don't shush me! You get out.
-Listen to me!
-Ruli didn't leave you with anything.
-That's a lie. Ruli loved me.
-What is everybody saying?
-Here you go. Please look at this.
You didn't get anything. You and the mummy
even slept in different bedrooms.
He moved to another bedroom
because I was snoring.
You don't know what kind of stuff
Ruli and I did together.
-Anyway, get out of the way!
-Oh my God.
Okay. Okay, okay. You're a single mother,
and so am I, so listen to me.
No way. Wait a minute.
You are not the same as me.
I am a woman who is married
and honest. You loser!
But how can you marry
a guy who didn't love you?
Are you kidding me?
Ruli loved me so much that he never
ran off and he never hit me at all!
-Ah, l can see why it worked out!
-Yeah, that's right.
You know what I say? Go ahead.
If you wanna ruin your life,
my kids' life, your kid's,
everybody's, you do it!
-Now go ahead.
-Crazy b*tch. Get out of my sight.
Don Raúl.
May I come in?
Lookee here. You ready for some delicious
chilaquiles for that hangover of yours?
Teresita, sh. He's been dead tired.
Here, let me take that.
What's going on?
-Don Raúl asked me to fire you.
-He said what?
Yes, I'm sorry.
But Don Raúl says you're too old.
That you can't even vacuum right now.
We'd like to offer you this
as a parting gift.
Um, yeah.
Bunch of f*cking losers.
Take care, Teresita.
Yeah, f*ck you!
Ma'am, you know what? I've had it
up to here with this whole crazy nuthouse.
I'm leaving!
-Over here.
-This way. Put him on this side.
Here, here, here. Just drop him.
Whoa.
f*cking mummy's like a brick.
Mom, the whale won't fit in the fridge.
Hey, stop. Just stop.
I'm sorry.
This whole thing is madness.
Come now.
I'm afraid we lost it all.
And we're gonna have to start again
from nothing, but…
The truth is
I have no idea what I'm saying.
And I wanna apologize
because I failed you again.
I don't know what to do. I don't.
I know of somewhere cold and uncomfortable
that will work great
for stashing this dead as*h*le.
I hear you.
Your dad left everything
to that dickhead brother of yours.
And now's not the moment to set out
on my comeback career in telenovelas.
Nor am I going back
to hanging clothes on a rooftop.
So I'm with you all. Yeah.
I'm also not saying
that I couldn't get a man if I wanted one.
But because I was moved
by your little ange--
Jorge.
Who is that?
Get down.
Hello, good afternoon.
I'm here to see Raúl.
He invited me for some wine.
Ah.
That's, um…
Raúl actually can't come.
He's out right now.
What, he's not there?
I saw him go inside.
Yeah, but he had to step out
for a very important matter.
-He is an advisor to, uh--
-When did he step out?
It's by invitation, for a round table
with the government.
And has important business and didn't
tell me when he was coming back.
Don't worry, I'll tell him you stopped by.
Good, good, nice. Okay.
I always said
this was your favorite place to go.
Is this gonna work? Your plan
won't get us into trouble, will it?
All I know is that if we wanna get back
what he took from us,
we're gonna have to work together.
No matter what it takes.
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